Description[]
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure vs. Fate. Calm and collected even without bending time for their own ends.
Introduction[]
Wiz: When you possess the ability to stop time, you'd be forgiven for always nearly having a calm and cool head on your shoulders. After all, that's the benefit of having all the time in the world.
Boomstick: Or, you know, at least some of it. Like Jotaro Kujo, the third JoJo and Stardust Crusader.
Wiz: And Kiritsugu Emiya, the Magus Killer and Saber's Master.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Jotaro Kujo[]
Wiz: If there's one thing that the JoJo family line is known for...
Boomstick: Aside from their atrocious nickname.
Wiz:...yes, aside from that, is their penchant for adventure.
Boomstick: Yeah. Bizarre adventures, and one of them ended up coming the way of the third JoJo; Great-great-grandson of the first JoJo, Jotaro Kujo. Who just so happened to be the exact opposite of his great-great-grandpappy.
- Background
- Age: 40
- Height: 6'4
- The 3rd JoJo
- Occupation: Marine Biologist
- Favorite movie: Never Cry Wolf
- His hair and hat mold into one
Wiz: What an example? Jonathon Joestar strived to be a perfect gentleman, always keeping a hold on his temper and believing in the best of people. Our first introduction to Jotaro? Him sitting in a cell.
Boomstick: Hey, don't go presenting him as some sort of lawless delinquent Wiz.
Wiz: Uh, that's exactly what he was. A delinquent.
Boomstick: Oh. Well, that whole delinquent thing is true, but that's not the reason he was in prison. Turns out, he turned himself in.
Wiz: Because he had recently put several gang members in the hospital and the catch is, he wasn't sure how he did it. Leading to the only rational explaining; he was possessed an evil spirit.
Boomstick: He kinda had a point there though. Turns out, there was a spirit residing in him, but not because it was trying to possess him. No, it was a part of him.
Wiz: Fortunately, his grandfather Joseph Joestar and a friend of his were able to explain what this strange phenomenon was. Through his bloodline, Jotaro had inherited the power to manifest a Stand, a spiritual being born from his fighting spirit and spiritual energy. Although Stands are a bit of a non-indicative title, considering they mainly hover.
Boomstick: Well, "Hovers" aren't exactly striking names. Unlike the name of Jotaro's Stand; Star Platinum.
- Star Platinum
- Super strength
- Super speed
- Super accuracy
- Super senses
- Phasing
- Star Finger
- Time Stop
- Invincible to anything but another Stand
Wiz: And 'striking' is what Star Platinum exceeds at more than anything else.
Boomstick: It is insanely strong and insanely fast, two attributes it puts into rapidly yelling its Oras as it pummels some unfortunate moe into paste.
Wiz: And Star Platinum knows exactly how to pummel. Not only does it possess exceptional eyesight but also incredible pinpoint accuracy and extremely steady nerves. Which makes sense considering the disposition to its master, Jotaro.
Boomstick: The kid has himself a smart head on his shoulders and he knows how to use Star Platinum as effectively as he can, like making use of not just its physical but also the esoteric ones. Did I use that word right?
Wiz: So far so good. Star Platinum is able to turn intangible, letting it slip through most solid structures with ease. And then there's the techniques Star Platinum developed. Like extending its fingers for a long range attack with Star Finger.
Boomstick: Ha!
Wiz: Grow up Boomstick. This attack is useful for covering a short distance in front of Star Platinum, considering it can only move out of Jotaro's radius by about 2 meters. But it was the last power found by Jotaro of Star Platinum that was its greatest. The power to stop time itself.
Boomstick: With a single command, Jotaro can command Star Platinum to pause time for everyone but himself. Unfortunately, the maximum peak of time he can stop is only five measly seconds.
Popup: Star Platinum is capable of harming others whilst in the Time Stop, although the damage does not strictly stack up.
Wiz: But those five seconds are often all Jotaro needs. And I mean, come on, it's the ability to stop time itself. One of the most broken powers you can imagine. It's only because Jotaro isn't strictly superhuman himself that he can't freeze time for longer.
Boomstick: Not superhuman? Are you crazy? The guy, all by himself, can smash through solid stone and run 400 meters in only 22 seconds. That's slightly faster than Usain Bolt's top speed record.
- Feats
- Star Platinum caught a bullet one inch from Jotaro's head
- Smashed diamond-hard teeth
- Outwitted two master gamblers
- Removed a brain parasite better than any surgeon
- Deduced Dio's location by recognizing a species of fly
- Defeated Anubis, Silver Chariot, Dio, Killer Queen
Wiz: And Star Platinum is capable of even greater speeds, with arguments saying it can get to anywhere from relativistic to faster-than-light. It can catch bullets with an inch to spar and move fast enough to light a cigarette with friction alone.
Boomstick: And when it comes to strength, Star Platinum is stated on record to be surpassed by very few. As the time it broke diamond teeth proved, requiring a punching force of 3 megatons. Talk about a poor dental plan.
Wiz: But Jotaro's best attribute is his sheer cunning. One time, when he was against unbeatable odds in a poker game due to a master gambler's cheating ways, he was able to completely out-bluff him by constantly raising the pot, showing off the power of his Stand and making the gambler doubt his every move until he mentally conceded defeat. Oh, and we shouldn't forget about how he bluffed his way through his fight with the vampire Dio, using a magnet to make it seem he could move through his own Stand's time stop until he realized he could stop himself.
Boomstick: Oh yeah, and by the way, the whole reason Jotaro mastered his Stand was to save his mother's life due to Dio's presence causing her own Stand to go out of control. So Jotaro went on a quest, walking like an Egyptian with a crew of fellow Stand users, fighting their way to the final battle with Dio. He was basically unstoppable, save for a few things.
Wiz: Namely, that Stands are indestructible and invisible to anything but another Stand. If either one dies, they both do. And for all his accomplishments, he's far from invincible, as there are some battles than can push him to his limits.
Boomstick; But at the end, after the dust that used to be Dio cleared, it was Jotaro who was left standing in the moment, a truly worthy holder of the moniker of JoJo.
Kiritsugu Emiya[]
Wiz: The 4th Holy Grail War drew it to several different combatants, all vying for control of the wish-granting relic. In particular, three high-ranking Magus families.
Boomstick: One of which, the Einzberns, decided to basically have someone substitute for them.
Wiz: This was Kiritsugu Emiya, better known as the Magus Killer, who had married into the family through the homunculus Irisviel. The Einzbern family was a little bit unusual.
Boomstick: Before old Emiya was a Magus and a killer of such, he was the son of one, living on a remote island whilst his dad did his magical research.
- Background
- Age: 34
- Height: 5'7
- AKA The Magus Killer
- Biological father of IIlya and adopted father of Shirou
- Qualifies for the Assassin Servant Class
Wiz: Kiritsugu grew up with the standard dream of young boys; to be a hero of justice. Unfortunately, his opportunity to become one wasn't desirable to say the least.
Boomstick: Turns out his dad was trying to make himself an army of zombies and once the situation had been explained to him by freelancer mercenary Natalia Kaminski, he took matters into his own hands and killed his father for his crimes.
Wiz: From then on, Kiritsugu would be taken in by Natalia and trained in her lifestyle, up until the day he was forced to shoot down a plane filled with zombies and her.
Boomstick: So he ended up losing two parents because of zombie-related incidents. At least Nat wasn't the one responsible for them. And after that, he was hired by the Einzberns to be their representatives in the Holy Grail War. But he had some time to kill before then, so he ended up getting hitched to Irisviel and they even had a kid together.
Wiz: But like all wars, the Holy Grail one made sure those who had signed up would serve their tour and Kiritsugu went off to battle. With his wife tagging along as part of his strategy.
Boomstick: Ah, the benefits of holy matrimony. Or should I say, Holy Grail Matrimony?
Wiz: No you should not. The whole war was nothing but a tragic event. Especially for those who ended up in Kiritsugu's sight.
- Arsenal
- Calico M950
- Thompson Contender
- Walther WA2000
- Hand grenades
- Smoke grenades
- Stun grenades
- Origin Bullets
- Inscribed with "Severing and Binding"
- Destroys nerves and magic-circuits
- Avalon
- Gifts accelerated healing
Boomstick: Or, at the very least, the sight of his guns, of which he has several. Like his Calico M950, a rapid-fire sidearm with a 50-round clip. Or his Walther WA2000, a semi-automatic sniper rifle outfitted with night vision.
Wiz: Kiritsugu also uses several different types of grenades, like smoke grenades, stun grenades and the usual hand grenades. Oh, and C4 explosives.
Boomstick: Enough to bring down an entire skyscraper. Oh, and we can't forget about the Thompson Contender, a one of a kind pistol used to fire Kiritsugu's most effective weapon and the likely reason for his moniker as the Magus Killer; Origin Bullets.
Wiz: Origin Bullets are truly unique and unusual items. For one thing, they're made out of Kiritsugu's ribs, since his Magus affinities of Fire and Earth translate to the Origins of Severing and Binding.
Boomstick: Okay, that doesn't really explain anything, so let's just say they're bullets that destroy both nerves and magical circuits within Magi.
Wiz: Saying it destroys magical circuits is a bit simplistic. Not only do they break them but they also rearrange them in a way that makes it impossible for them to ever heal. Think of it like botching an attempt to rebuild a destroyed bridge that results in it being too small for cars to pass through.
Boomstick: So yeah, Origin Bullets are pretty whack, and so is Avalon, the scabbard of King Arthur that Kiritsugu was able to harness for himself in order to make full use of his family magecraft; Innate Time Control.
- Innate Time Control
- Accel
- Double Accel
- Square Accel
- Stagnate
- Triple Stagnate
- Accel
Wiz: Innate Time Control is just what it sounds like; the ability to control the flow of time itself, although it's exclusively for him. With Accel, Kiritsugu can increase time around himself to improve his speed and reactions. And with Stagnate, Kiritsugu can slow it around himself, bringing his bodily functions to a practical stop, effectively making himself undetectable to someone relying on their sense of hearing.
Boomstick: But since it is a process of stopping his own organs from working, it's pretty damaging to his body. But thanks to Avalon, he can push himself to use the more risky heights of his Time Control. After all, whilst he isn't afraid to take risks, he's always keeping a cunning head on his neck.
- Feats
- Killed numerous Magi
- Survived years after being cursed
- Survived being smashed into a wall
- Destroyed a skyscraper with C4
- Tagged an airplane with a rocket
- Defeated Kayneth Archibald, Lancer, Kirei Kotomine
Wiz: His battle against Kayneth Archibald was a textbook example of his mastery of killing Magi. Out of everyone in the 4th Holy Grail War, Kayneth was head and shoulders above them in terms of Magecraft, full stop. Unfortunately for him, that's just the kind of opponent that Kiritsugu specializes against.
Boomstick: He lured old Kay into using his magically-bound mercury blob as a barrier against one of his Origin Bullets.
Wiz: Which, as we all know, what the worst possible thing he could have done.
Boomstick: As a result, Kay got his prized magical genetics scrambled but Kiritsugu wasn't content with just letting him off with that. So he made sure to completely remove him as a variable with the most ruthless loophole you could imagine. Oh, and this wasn't the only time Kiritsugu got into a brawl with a prominent Holy Grail participator. The closeted psychopath Kirei Kotomine once punched him so hard, he ended up leaving a dent in the wall.
Wiz: Although his injuries where healed due to Avalon, the fact remains he survived it on his own merit, having taken a blow worth 10 thousand tons of force (DragonGamerZ913/Fate). And throughout the Grail War, Kiritsugu strived forwards with the personal goal of using the Grail for himself to find a way to bring peace to the world. But unfortunately, the true nature of the Grail made this impossible, and Kiritsugu unwittingly unleashed a tragedy when he commanded Saber to destroy the Grail.
Boomstick: A big old fire broke out and destroyed most of a city, killing thousands. And to rub salt in the wounds, his wife was lost to him due to her connection to the Grail and because he failed the Einzberns, he was denied ever seeing his daughter again.
Wiz: The Holy Grail War truly was a crippling experience for Kiritsugu but fortunately, it aspired him to cast away his emotionless mask and pass on the best of his ideals to the boy orphaned by the fire who he adopted; Shirou.
Boomstick: Until dying five years later due to the cursed mud of the Holy Grail. It may have been a bittersweet end to the life of Kiritsugu Emiya, but it was an end he was content with.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
The Battle[]
Setting: Egyptian city at night
Jotaro sat, relaxed, at a table in a café, smoking a cigarette with his eyes covered by his hat.
From a rooftop a few meters away, Kiritsugu aimed at him with his long-ranged sniper rifle. Aiming the scope at Jotaro's head, he narrowed his one open eye before pulling the trigger. The bullet shot out, closing the distance in a split-second and came within millimeters of hitting Jotaro's forehead.
Before it was stopped and hung frozen in mid-air.
Kiritsugu: Shit...
Jotaro turned in the direction of the Magus Killer, his eyes narrowed as he mentally commanded Star Platinum to flick the bullet away. He extinguished his cigarette and tossed it away, rising to his feet and staring directly at where Kiritsugu had cocked his sniper rifle for another shot.
FIGHT!
Kiritsugu fired another shot from the sniper rifle, which was deflected from the toned body of Star Platinum, who darted in front of Jotaro as a defense. Jotaro started forwards, heading towards the building Kiritsugu was on, his Stand continuing to protect him from the bullets. After he had gotten to the building, during which Kiritsugu had to kneel up to continue landing blocked shots at him, he looked up the building and at Kiritsugu.
The Magus Killer prepared to fire another shot, before he could pull the trigger, Jotaro yelled;
Jotaro: Star Platinum: The World!
He suddenly vanished from Kiritsugu's sight and after a moment of confusion, he looked up to see Jotaro bearing down on him from above. Acting on instinct, Kiritsugu rolled backwards as Jotaro touched down on the roof, the area where Kiritsugu had been a moment ago fractured by, from his perspective, an unseen force. He got up from his roll to aim and fire the sniper rifle, the bullet getting literally punched away by Star Platinum and giving Jotaro time to stand up.
Jotaro: Good grief. Can't go anyway nowadays without being hassled by people like you.
Kiritsugu, calm and collected as ever, simply got back to his feet and loaded a new clip into his rifle. He started firing it not stop at Jotaro, who remained behind the cover by Star Platinum until he commanded it to catch the last bullet finger between its finger and thumb. Kiritsugu took notice of this and narrowed his eyes, mentally adding this to his observations before dodging to the side as Star Platinum flicked the bullet back at him. He loaded another clip and once against emptied it, observing as the bullets were deflected at different lengths from Jotaro. Suddenly, Jotaro moved forwards and Kiritsugu instinctively knew he was about to be attacked, so he activated;
Kiritsugu: Double Accel.
Time slowed to a crawl around himself and he quickly maneuvered himself around Jotaro, keeping a wide berth around him to avoid whatever invisible force was protecting him until he was standing right behind him. Once Double Accel wore off, Jotaro found the space in front of himself empty. His eyes widened in surprise and he turned around to see Kiritsugu aiming the sniper gun at him. It was only at the last second that Star Platinum was able to move around to block the shot before it ripped a chunk of the stone roof up and hurled it at Kiritsugu, the Magus Killer rolling forwards to avoid the projectile. The impact caused cracks to spread across the roof and it soon collapsed beneath Kiritsugu's feet. To compensate the fall, Kiritsugu activated Double Accel and used the slowed time to hop from the falling small pieces of rubble until he was able to land neatly on the ground, inside the building, before Jotaro landed a few feet behind him. He turned around, aiming his sniper rifle at the Stardust Crusader but before he could pull the trigger, Star Platinum flicked its finger and sent a miniscule piece of rubble shooting towards Kiritsugu and down the barrel of his sniper gun, smashing out through the back. Kiritsugu glanced at his wrecked weapon with a grimace before tossing it away and pulling out a smoke grenade, primed it and tossed it out.
The resulting smoke cloud enabled Kiritsugu to escape from Jotaro's sight, even as he had Star Platinum blow the air away.
Jotaro: Trying to hide are we? Nice try.
He mentally commanded Star Platinum to listen out with its super-senses as he walked down the corridor until he came to a junction where it split into two new corridors. After a moment, Jotaro and Star Platinum turned down to go down the left corridor. Thus, his back was now to Kiritsugu, who was using Triple Stagnate to top his bodily functions and leave nothing for Star Platinum to hear. Now, he quickly deactivated it , returning himself to top shape and pulled out his Thompson Contender to fire a single super-powerful shot. Jotaro/Star Platinum noticed too late and the bullet tore through Jotaro's shoulder, sending blood flying out. He yelled in pain and stumbled forwards to grip his wounded shoulder. He glared over his shoulder at Kiritsugu, who was in the process of reloading the Contender before swiping out with a hand to command Star Platinum to activate Star Fingers, hitting Kiritsugu right in the chest with the extended digits and sending him flying back to smash against the wall. Kiritsugu swayed on his feet and coughed blood but could already feel Avalon feeling the internal damage, and miraculously he had kept his hold on the Contender. However, for the moment he put it away and pulled out his Walther, unleashing a stream of bullets at Jotaro who was once again protected by his Stand until he commanded time to stop. Using this, Jotaro moved to Kiritsugu's side before the normal flow resumed, leaving the Magus Killer blinking in surprise before Star Platinum punched him across the face, sending him skidding a distance across the ground. Kiritsugu rolled back to his feet and continued firing the eventually blocked strikes before running towards Jotaro.
Kiritsugu: Double Accel.
With time slowed around himself, Kiritsugu ran up the wall and across it to reposition himself about Jotaro. Unfortunately, the moment he had used Innate Time Control, Jotaro had just uttered his own time stopping words. Even when slowed with the rest of time, Jotaro was able to complete the phrase and he stopped time completely, including Kiritsugu mid wall-run. Just as it wore off, Star Platinum swung its leg out to catch Kiritsugu in the stomach, sending him flying right back down the corridor where he once again landed with a crash.
Jotaro: Not so fast. I want you in one place old man.
Kiritsugu: Funny; so do I.
He held up a pin and Jotaro's eyes widened as he put two-and-two together, and he looked down to see a primed grenade at his feet. His eyes widened before it exploded into a blinding flash of light, causing Jotaro to screw his eyes shut and curse. That gave Kiritsugu the opportunity to pull out a detonator and press one of the buttons. The explosion came from beneath Jotaro and sent him falling down through the destroyed floor, into the bottom level of the building. Jotaro grunted as he fell onto his front, blinking away the blindness. Kiritsugu flipped some more switches and explosions came from the corners of the level around Jotaro, before running to jump out a window to leave the building to collapse around his opponent.
Jotaro watched as the building started to come down around him, massive chunks of rubble raining down towards him. Steeling himself, he summoned Star Platinum, and it set about unleashing barrages of punches to smash the rubble to dust, yelling all the while;
Star Platinum: Ora-ora-ora-ora-ora-ora-ora-ora-ora!
Eventually, through the efforts of his Stand, Jotaro was out of danger of being buried. Now the building was practically gone and he was exposed to the outside world.
Jotaro: Gotta say, old man, you're really starting to test my patience.
He said this directly to Kiritsugu, who had stepped towards him with his Contender in handhand.
Kiritsugu: Then I'll end it now.
He fired a shot from the Contender, which Star Platinum was able to block, sending it smashing to the right. He fired another, which Star Platinum deflected to destroy a wall fragment to the left. And then Kiritsugu loaded in a special bullet into his gun and aimed it squarely at Jotaro. His eyes narrowed before he pulled the trigger.
The Origin Bullet shot towards Jotaro's face and he expected it to be intercepted by the invisible force protecting Jotaro. But instead, the Stardust Crusader vanished.
Kiritsugu froze in surprise before becoming aware of a presence behind him.
Jotaro: Good grief; you are one predictable old bastard.
Quick as he could, Kiritsugu whipped around to try and mount another attack but by that point, Star Platinum was already unleashing its rapid-fire punches. Over sixty-six punches collided with Kiritsugu's body in a near instance and in the next instance, the Magus Killer had been reduced to a bloody smear spread all across the ground.
Jotaro made sure that Star Platinum flicked its fists clean before pulling his cap over his eyes.
Jotaro: Should have made sure you'd pay my hospital bill, but don't worry. I'll make sure to foot the tab for your funeral.
KO!
Outcome[]
Boomstick: Oh my God! And I'm not just saying that as a JoJo's reference.
Wiz: Comparing the backgrounds of the Magus Killer and Stardust Crusader together, Kiritsugu can be said as having more experience and formal training. And if it hadn't been for Star Platinum, Jotaro may not have had much of a chance to win here.
Boomstick: But since he did have Star Platinum, Jotaro pretty much took the edge in every meaningful category. Except for range and literally explosive power, but even then those don't matter much compared to what the Stand brought JoJo.
Wiz: With the strength to punch with 3 megatons of force, literally 3 hundred times stronger than what Kiritsugu has taken, Star Platinum had what it took to put the Magus Killer down. Even with Avalon being present to heal his injuries, it would still be too much for him to take. And that's to say nothing on the speed he had.
Boomstick: Most characters in Fate are at 900+ times the speed of sound (ShadowWhoWalks). Meanwhile, even if Star Platinum is just one percent the speed of light, he would still be leagues faster than Kiritsugu.
Wiz: And when it came to their abilities to control time, Star Platinum is the only one of the two who can stop it entirely. Plus, Jotaro is also able to move through the time stops of others, like Dio, at the cost of the seconds he can stop time for, so Kiritsugu's Time Control would likely be ineffective in the first place. And speaking of likelihoods, we needed to discuss the capabilities of Kiritsugu's Origin Bullets and if they could effect Star Platinum at all.
Boomstick: The thing about Origin Bullets is, that whilst they attack natural sources of power in the body, it's primarily just magic circuits, which Star Platinum isn't quite based on. Oh, and then there's the fact that in order to affect a Stand in the first place, you need a Stand yourself, and Kiritsugu comes up with nothing in that department. So not even his building felling explosives could budge Star Platinum out of the way.
Wiz: Thus even with the necrosis-inducing Origin Bullet, being unable to get past Star Platinum means Kiritsugu would be hard pressed to make use of it. And when it came to smarts, both Jotaro and Kiritsugu where pretty even when it came to strategizing but coupled with Jotaro's time stops and speed, he'd have the higher number of chances to implement whatever he had cooking up.
Boomstick: So I guess that's all left to be said is that Jotaro had his Stand's strength, speed and time stopping prowess to see him through in this battle that really raised the Standard for Fated confrontations.
Wiz: The winner is Jotaro Kujo.
Next Time[]
Hidden behind masks of steel
Are the wills of hunters
Trivia[]
- The connection between Jotaro and Kiritsugu is that they are both black-haired individuals known for their aloof and collected personalities, which serve them well when they strategize during battle. Both also have the notable ability to manipulate time and their children have gone on to fight similar conflicts to them. Both also summon a spiritual being to their side; Star Platinum and Saber/Artoria respectively.
- This battle would have been in 2D
- The original music for this battle would have been called 'Standing Origins', referring to Jotaro's Stand and Emiya's Origin Bullets