Gun fights Gun!
Two gun-wielding sharpshooters get in a fight, but which of the two are skilled enough to pull out a quickdraw?
Jonesy will be getting full access to his arsenal, with an actual albeit stupid reason for it. Hol Horse will be getting all of his feats from the OVA, anime, and manga, but not with Eyes of Heaven, due to there being nothing notable or changing him unlike the three.
Introduction[]
ROB: Guns are one of the most popular weapons in fiction. In Star Wars, Shin Megami, and even monkeys have held it in fiction, and some even take this further to work with them.
Game and Watch: And some are just plain stupid, in canonical or fanonical degrees. But examples of these would be like the soldier of multiple abilities, Jonesy.
ROB: And Hol Horse, the whole horse, and the wielder of the “Emperor”. He’s Mr. Gay Man-
Game and Watch: MISTER GAME AND WATCH, how did you mess that up?
ROB: And I’m ROB, and we’ll be researching their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...
Game and Watch: A DEATH BATTLE.
Hol Horse[]
ROB: In the Wild West. you expect more than a sword and a bat. You expect guns. When you expect guns, you expect cool people riding down the sunset on the horse with a girl they just rescued. But on the other hand...
Game and Watch: You also have to expect an outlier. That means, expect total stupidity. Speaking of which... Hol Horse. He's a cowboy, mercenary, and shoots people with his stand, The Emperor!
- Name: Hol Horse
- Height: 6'2
- Mercenary for DIO
- Stand Name: The Emperor
- The Emperor is a stand, embodying one's fighting spirit.
- Has an infinite amount of bullets in it's clip.
- Doesn't work like an actual gun.
ROB: The Emperor is Hol Horse's stand, a spiritual manifestation of one's fighting spirit, where it can only be seen by, interacted with, and affected by people with a stand themselves. On the other hand, it's totally unrealistic, since it not only holds an infinite amount of bullets, but it also doesn't work like an actual gun physically, even though this is pretty irrelevant.
Game and Watch: And while he might have a gun and all, he's nothing like a cowboy. He rides an elephant, kicks women in the face for a good reason, and doesn't know how to fistfight! He's like... a Bollywood movie antagonist!
ROB: Let me make an educated guess, the elephant, or the woman kicking?
Game and Watch: Not knowing how to fistfight.
ROB: I don't see how those correlate at all. Let's go back to the topic, being that Hol Horse is nothing like a cowboy, he generally relied on his teammates, each with a pretty solid stand, to help his one major weakness.
Game and Watch: Being weak or securing his kills?
ROB: Well, technically, both are true! Hol Horse himself knows his stand is pretty weak, being a gun and all, so it's the main reason he pairs with other stand users, to both secure kills on his own, which he still failed at, and to cover his back. Of course, to make this fair, Hol Horse does have his friend, technically who he works with, known as the Hanged Man. It shouldn't be considered outside help, since he usually works with him.
Game and Watch: We have yet to talk about the Hanged Man! We have to tal-
Game and Watch: Hol Horse has shown his fair amount of skill, despite relying on his stand and others, though he has outsmarted people like Polnareff, even if his attacks were seen through by Avdol, and has almost killed the crusaders, of course, if it weren't for Polnareff sneezing! What a dumb way to lose, in Hol Horse's favor.
ROB: Well, yes. Hol Horse shot himself after missing his shots on Jotaro Kujo, and the other Stardust Crusaders, but don't let that one end fool you. Hol Horse is a great mercenary, especially with his stand. The Emperor means you can control your life, and that means Hol Horse will control his win.
Game and Watch: You suck at making puns.
" Who the hell are you? "
" Hol Horse, is the name. I'm the user of the stand that suggests the Emperor card. Lord DIO paid me to get rid of you guys. "
Jonesy[]
ROB: In a secluded island, several cities exist. Completely deserted, minus the occasional animal or electronic. Well... Mostly secluded anyways, because this unnamed island is where hundreds of people drop down into to fight eachother over the "Victory Royale".
Game and Watch: Yeah, and out of all of them, one person stands above the rest. This is just a basic game of Fortnite, but for the player character, it's the fight of their lives. Looting houses, chests, and even llamas, you'd be surprised that this game more than just that as a plot. Yes, Fortnite has a plot.
ROB: With Fortnite being one of the biggest so far in this year, it's expected to have, you know, some degree of storyline. Meet Jonesy, an average, average job, and all that good stuff. Later, he finds himself on this island with no idea what to do.
Game and Watch: His situation changes a lot, actually! Pretty inconsistent, but he finds himself in a number of situations, whether being attacked by literally just Santa Claus, to having to fight against Marvel's Galactus, all the way to having to spend almost a century underground. Jonesy has done *many* things, and with the entirety of Fortnite practically starting with him, going over all history with what he's been through would take way too long. Now, what this means is that there could be many things that change with this making it outdated or completely changed.
ROB: Since we explain ourselves then, let's begin by explaining Jonesy a bit more.
- Name: John Jones, referred to as Jonesy
- Height: Unknown, probably 6'
- Soldier, Agent, etcetera
- Weapon Expert
- A master of multiple weapons, using them with equal skill among them.
- Capable of not only mastering how to drive flying vehicles in moments, but as well as forms of combat, especially CQC.
- Can create weapons on the fly as of the latest season (Season 6, Chapter 2), including weapons made from bones and their older/newer versions.
Game and Watch: Jonesy is an agent of some form, albeit, with a little bit of limited information. Though, from what we do know in Jonesy's history, he is extremely good with weapons! Engineering, reassembling, and close-quarters combat, Jonesy can use practically any weapon with an insane amount of skill. Bows, shotguns, pistols, sub-machine guns, and even vehicles are just some of the things Jonesy has mastered his skill with.
ROB: Yes, Jonesy has numerous weapons in his arsenal. As he said, he has bows, shotguns, pistols, machine guns, and other miscellaneous weaponry. Jonesy is also skilled with more than just guns and ranged weapons, though, such as the Infinity Gauntlet, a gauntlet that can completely negate resurrection technology as well as transform Jonesy into Thanos, though, far weaker than his canonical comic depiction.
Game and Watch: Yeah! He also has the Infinity Blade which... is a sword. It practically does the same things with the Infinity Gauntlet, sans the resurrection part, but can increase Jonesy's speed, strength, healthpool, and even grants him a jump attack, destroying any structures in his path.
- Miscellaneous Weaponry
- The Boombox, capable of sending out shockwaves destroying nearby structures.
- The Stormbreaker, similarly to Thor's, is one of Jonesy's strongest non-stat boosting items.
- Stink Bombs, grenades that can negate one's shields and damages them through it.
- Boogie Bombs, grenades that force his opponent to dance, though this can backfire.
- Port-a-Fort, and it's variants, can create a large fortress allowing Jonesy to act like a sniper, easily securing kills, or blocking his enemy off.
- Snowball Launcher, a weapon that can fire off snowballs. Obviously.
- Dragon's Breath Shotgun, the opposite of the snowball launcher, instead uses flames.
- Rifts, which can allow teleportation, travel to other dimensions, and even causes holes in space time.
Game and Watch: Not only that, Jonesy even has access to a boombox that can destroy structures rather easily, the Stormbreaker, of course, being the one that Thor wields in Infinity War, rather than being based off the one in the comics, Stink Bombs, which are grenades capable of negating defenses, and Boogie Bombs. Those are self-explanatory.
ROB: Yes. With what Jonesy has shown in skill, he's also shown in vehicle driving. Whether it's with shopping carts, cars, or flying buses, Jonesy is even skilled in that degree, too. Even in order to use his entire arsenal he's required a large amount of skill, because that's what it's all for. A large arsenal requires skill.
Game and Watch: And you know what also requires skill? Getting to the next part. So, to finish this off nice and simply, Jonesy is one of the worst opponents to pick a fight with. He'll make sure you lose ten times over even before pulling out a pistol. Make fun of him all you want, but he's a pretty big threat to the unskilled.
Pre-Fight[]
It was around noon time, where it had shown a weird place. The area wasn't peculiar, though there were several quickly made wooden, brick, and steel structures about. Many were damaged, and had intersected, even destroying some trees. In moments, it was easy to tell where the camera was as it panned over, revealing an agent or soldier of some sorts. His back turned, he checked up on a radar.
"Five more minutes... I should have enough time." He spoke, getting up. Fixing his blonde hair, it was soon revealed to be Jonesy. Hopping off the platform, he hit the ground with a thud, but kept running, almost unaffected by the fall damage he was hit by. Running off, he was moving into the direction of the eye of the storm, though, the storm was a bit far away. Jonesy planned on getting there the quickest, since his plan was simple.
Eliminating any players who were already there wasn't going to be easy, of course, but if they had just gotten damaged, he could easily end them in a single shot with one of his shotguns. He had a weird thing that happened, but he was able to access practically any weapon at this point, through a bug that happened with the machinery which brung him back. He knew the tech didn't plan on giving him this sort of hammerspace, but, what the hell. He didn't care about it.
Flipping through his weapons behind him, he took out a large jug. This was one of the only things he legitimately found, though, it took a while. Considering he just got into combat, all of his shields were destroyed, though he wasn't low yet. Moving back, he began chugging the blue liquid. In around twelve seconds, he was already finished, wiping his mouth. That lowered his time, but now, he was ready for combat. He began sprinting, and took out his red shotgun, just in case.
Reaching the eye in only a moments notice, it was alerted to everyone that the storm was closing in. Squinting slightly, he saw a person in the distance. An odd skin, yes, because he never saw a skin like this one, especially for the recent season. What Jonesy was unaware of was that this was Hol Horse, a mercenary. He didn't know why he was here, either, but he didn't ponder about it. Keeping his stand unsummoned, he lured people over and quickly shot them in the skull, usually downing them in an instant, where he'd shoot them again.
Even with his weakness in mind, whatever these people were made of, Hol Horse found it surprisingly easy to kill them. They were definitely human, though, which was why, and they likely couldn't even see his gun. Just in case there was a stand user, though, he kept it unsummoned until needed. Going back to Jonesy, he crouched, and began walking towards the weird cowboy. Almost immediately, he began running forward, aiming at them, with his finger on the trigger. He attempted to get close, and end this guy in a single shot.
FIGHT![]
Before Jonesy even got a few meters closer, seeing as he was almost ten meters away, approximately, the man's hand raised up. Jonesy knew something he formed in the man's hand, but he couldn't see it, but it definitely fired, though, whatever weapon it was, it lacked recoil. Jonesy couldn't see the bullet, either, but he was able to instinctively hop to the side seeing the man's hand jolt at it like that. Jonesy returned back, now taking out a revolver of his own. He fired the gun at the mercenary, which hit him in the shoulder, causing him to groan in pain from the shot.
Rolling back, the mercenary spun the gun around in his hand, firing several more shots at Jonesy. Unable to predict this, three of them hit Jonesy, causing him to be hit, but with the help of his shields, each shot was not doing too much harm. Jonesy sighed, noticing his shields were down, but continued firing at Hol Horse. He took this opportunity to jump and roll from his spot, behind a tree. Grimacing, he muttered some things.
"He can see Emperor... but not it's bullets..." He muttered, shaking his head. Hopping up, he fired several bullets into the air. On the other side of the tree, Jonesy ran forward, striking it with his pickaxe as hard as he could. It broke into pieces, while he switched into a better shotgun than he had earlier. Rather than the Uncommon he had earlier, this new shotgun was Epic. Aiming it at Hol Horse, he went to pull the trigger, but this allowed Hol Horse to shoot Jonesy in the foot.
Jonesy, who would kneel, holding his foot, Hol Horse aimed up with the Emperor, and each bullet began raining down on Jonesy. Each shot hit Jonesy in the back, while Hol Horse stared. Turning, he chuckled a bit, before a shining light came from behind him. Jonesy was able to tank each of those shots, though definitely injured, he was not down yet. In his hands, a mini gun was created. Unlike his previous weapons, this was actually through one his weapons.
Hol Horse, with his eyes wide, began running, while Jonesy revved the mini gun and began shooting at Hol Horse. Rolling down the hill with a jump, Hol Horse had unsummoned his stand while he rolled, panting slightly. "What the... hell? He has a stand too?" He spoke in between breathes, taking his gun back out. Looking back up, Jonesy had bandaged himself and was now drinking a shield potion, albeit, a smaller one. In seconds, Jonesy was able to see that Hol Horse was peeking up, and took out a rocket launcher. Hol Horse, surprised by this, went and fired up into the air again, though, he hid the gun out of view, if his theory was correct.
As Jonesy fired, the bullets darted right back down, hitting the rocket. "Oh shi-" Jonesy went to speak, but was knocked away by the explosion. Launched into a tree, Jonesy was almost down, with low health. Seeing as that guy was going to somehow use one of those attacks, something he couldn't see, Jonesy got up, though slowly. Watching across the field as Hol Horse too got up, shielded from the explosion and barely wounded from any attacks, Jonesy clenched his fist.
Suddenly, a sword formed in his grasped. The Infinity Blade, a sword that completely healed and protected Jonesy. His body and injuries were removed completely and his shields were amplified, he jumped forward. Hol Horse, eyes wide, jumped back, firing his bullets at Jonesy. As later, the shields completely negated the force of the bullets, although, he wasn't bullet proof, and Jonesy raised the sword over his head. Swinging down, Hol Horse was able to roll to the side, causing the sword to dig into the ground.
Running forward, Hol Horse was able to jump and launched both of his feet into the direction of Jonesy's face. Once they collided, Jonesy was launched a bit back, forced to let go of the sword, draining his newfound power instantly. Frowning, Hol Horse got up and walked towards him, pointing his gun at the head of Jonesy. With another dues ex machina from the soldier, a golden glove fell from the sky, alerting every player to it's presence. Jonesy could have won with the sword, yes, but with how annoyed he was, he was going to use everything his arsenal had just to overkill.
Standing up, Jonesy shook his head. grabbing the glove. Putting this on, Jonesy shoved it onto his hand, and while it was oversized, Jonesy began to grow, and he appeared a few meters into the air. Becoming a massive size that Hol Horse couldn't even tell, almost twice as large as him, he stared in horror at the sight. He was far too weak for this one, even knowing his own strengths, and he was stuck in fear from the presence of this form. Jonesy, who had now taken the form of the Mad Titan, stood there.
This was the power of the Infinity Gauntlet, and he raised his hand, snapping his fingers. He wanted to make sure there was no way back for the mercenary while he raised his fist. Hol Horse attempted to crawl backwards, knowing that even with his weakness, he could still take number two, and raised his gun, firing as many bullets as he could into the Mad Titan. Despite the fact that his stand was going to negate the power of the other's stand, or would have at least hurt Jonesy, this wasn't a stand. Hol Horse was too late to realize this, and while he attempted to get up, the Mad Titan grabbed his leg.
Jumping into the air, the tall figure held Hol Horse. Gripping him by the neck with the hand that held the Infinity Gauntlet, he brung him back down, and slammed Hol Horse's body into the ground. The force of Thanos' strength, along with the frail body of Hol Horse, his body exploded from the force, destroying it.
KO![]
Leaving a noticeable crater in the ground from the slam, Jonesy got up, removing the glove as he fell to the ground. His body returned back to it's original form in seconds, while he stared at the remains of Hol Horse. The ground covered in blood, and including the glove, Jonesy was currently the only thing clear from it. Lifting himself up, Jonesy crossed his arms. They were late into the game, and as Jonesy turned around to leave, he got shot in the skull.
A man stood across the area, though he was too blurry to be made out, but was cheering about his victory royale he just achieved by waiting out the fight.
Post-Analysis[]
ROB: Oh... Huh. I was not expecting Thanos.
Game and Watch: Holy shit, that was awesome, but before you say anything, let's explain a few things.
ROB: Yes, of course. So, many of you might point out that Jonesy is, presumably, weaker and slower in every way, which is surprisingly wrong. While both were able to kill eachother with their weapons easily, with Jonesy's surprisingly being stronger than Emperor, it was definitely leaning to a tie, with Emperor's homing and trajectory control allowing it to get the edge over Jonesy's far less advanced weapons, though he did have others that could copy Emperor's system, such as the Storm King's Onslaught, or using superior range and skill to predict what Hol Horse would do, albeit, Hol Horse could easily conceal the bullet.
Game and Watch: Oh, yeah! While Emperor could move around Silver Chariot, this only scaled to reaction speed, and it was also through the use of Emperor's homing attack system, as well as the projectile speed of Emperor, rather than his attack speed. This homing is something that exists, and even in games such as Heritage for the Future, although, that's not canon, it is directly from an element with Emperor's stand. Jonesy's attack and projectile speed was faster than how fast Hol Horse could fire bullets, but was slower than his reactions and such.
ROB: Yes, and all this lead down to was the range and arsenal advantage... Until we looked at Jonesy's other equipment, such as the Infinity Blade, and Infinity Gauntlet. While unrelated to eachother in power, the Infinity Blade is likely comparable to and would allow the user to tank hits from weapons that can hurt Thanos, and it does grant them around a half of Thanos' max health. Calculating Thanos' strength though, with the gauntlet alone, wasn't too hard.
Game and Watch: Yeah! This dude can basically destroy port-a-forts in a single hit. Calculating how large that the Port-a-Fort is, with Thanos destroying a majority of it, as well as making up for any hollowness in the structure, we were able to get 13.50 tons of TNT! Alternatively, assuming that Thoth's prediction of killing the crusaders was true, he should scale to around 0.833~ tons of TNT, a massive difference between the two, or more specifically, a 16 times difference in strength!
ROB: Yes, and this is applicable, albeit on a lesser agree, to the Infinity Blade, which even if Jonesy wasn't able to access the Infinity Gauntlet or couldn't have it for any reason, he'd still have the Infinity Blade. With the massive skill, strength, and range advantage that Jonesy had, there was no way Hol Horse could even deal with that, if you believe that there was a massive speed difference, though. If he had weaker attacks, Jonesy's shield regen with the two items would outlast it, and it was only a matter of time until Jonesy had brung Hol Horse to fortnight.
Game and Watch: You suck even more at making jokes. Anyways, the winner is Jonesy.