Fighting is a universal langauge that requires the strength not of the body, but of the mind. These two are fluent in that langauge of combat.
INTRO[]
Wiz: In worlds of powerful demonic beings ranging from creatures made from pure evil that turn to ash or a vampire that has the power to annihilate all life on earth and the only thing that can stop them are people who have the power to change the course of mighty rivers. Literally.
Boomstick: Like Jonathan Joestar, the First Jojo in a long line of Jojos in the Joestar family lineage.
Wiz: And Yang Xiao Long, the powerhouse in yellow from Team RWBY.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to figure out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
YANG IGNITES DEATH BATTLE![]
Randomation
Boomstick: What's the first place you think of that scares anti-gun people and people who think tough women have to be ugly?
Wiz: Themys--
Boomstick: REMNANT!! Home of guns, guns and MORE GUNS!!! And the most beautiful women in the world. Out of most future Hunters and Huntresses is Yang Xiao Long.
Wiz: Yang was born to Taiyang Xiao Long and Raven Branwen, a happily married couple in Patch, a small village in the kingdom of Vale. But for almost no rhyme or reason, Raven, Yang's mother dissapeared.
Boomstick: And Yang decided to find her mom when she was a kid, taking her baby sister Ruby with her.
Wiz: They found an old shed where they were ambushed by Grimm and all hope in Yang faded like the evening sun until she and Ruby were saved by her uncle, Qrow Branwen.
Boomstick: Because of what happened, Yang spent years working on her fighting and her adrenaline addiction. This allows her to be the ultimate badass in the whole world of fucking badasses.
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Wiz: Famous for her puns, hot-headedness, thrill-seeking and her incredible strength, she was accepted to Beacon Academy.
Boomstick: Yang proved herself more than goddamn worthy of her awesome power and her place on Team RWBY. But of course, Yang couldn't do that without her greatest pair of assets--
Wiz: Boomstick!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?! She's 19!
Boomstick: I was talking about her Ember Celica.
Wiz: Oh.
Boomstick:... The Ember Celica are a pair of shotgun gauntlets that allow Yang to do as much damage to her foes from a short distance to a long distance as well as increase her momentum and boost her speed and jumps.
Wiz: Each gauntlet contains up to 12 shots each ranging from red shells that explode, to orange ones and can go long range.
Boomstick: My favorite are the red ones.
Wiz: As a character in the RWBY Universe, she also possesses an Aura, which allows her to have powers such as:
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Super strength,
Super speed,
Blocking deadly attacks,
Heals minor wounds,
And her Semblance: Burn.
Boomstick: A Semblance is kind of like a mutant X-Gene from X-Men. This gives her a temperary powerup that increases her strength WITH HER GODDAMN HAIR.
Wiz: She draws strength with the damage she gained with no defined limit and isn't limited to just physical attacks. She does have a weakness with Burn, for example she must be conscious for Burn to absorb power.
Boomstick: Huh, that's a weird power.
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Wiz: With all this power, Yang is a force not to be meddled with. But when she lost her arm, she's only used Burn as a final resort. Speaking of which, after Adam Taurus cut off her arm, she was given a new robotic limb by the Atlesian Military by order of James Ironwood to help her gain her fighting spirit back. Yang's new arm has a shotgun built into her arm, can increase the amount of force in her punch and is durable enough to take a shockwave from Adam's Semblance.
Boomstick: So she painted it yellow and went back to being the biggest badass in Remnant, with feats such as:
defeating Junior's gang with ease,
destroyed a giant mech with a single punch after taking two punches from the mech,
got launched 10,000 feet into the air, crashed and literally got up like nothing happened,
fought Beowolves for an entire day,
Punched Junior through a pillar without the use of her Ember Celica,
Punched Adam so hard that the earth around them came up,
Fought several armed members of the Branwen clan in just under two minutes
And slaughtered many varitations of Grimms while protecting a Schnee Dust Company mine.
RWBY Volume 5 Yang Character Short Rooster Teeth
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Wiz: But yet, Yang has flaws, much like the other beings in the RWBY Universe. For example, her Aura doesn't make her invincible, it only makes the damage she takes hurt her a little less Even then, she is hot-headed and an Aura can last for so long with how much damage can harm her.
Boomstick: But in the end, she's one of the most powerful badasses in fucking badass history.
DEATH BATTLE OVERDRIVES JONATHAN JOESTAR![]
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Boomstick: In a world full of vampires, magic psychic ghosts, people named after rock bands and magic spagetti, the greatest adventure started off with a crashing carrage.
Wiz: That's... disturbing. But that's true, sort of. A carrage containing a British millionare named George Joestar and his family crashed, leaving them either dead, or unconscious. Some theives came along and tried to pull the ring off of George's finger.
Boomstick: But George woke up and asked if his wife and kid were okay. Wow, he's better than my real dad. Hey dad! FUCK YOU!!
Wiz:... George asked of the theives if his wife and child were okay, but unfortunately, his wife and driver were killed on impact but not his son, Jonathan. George asked what the thief's name was and so began a lifelong rivalry that would span entire generations.
Boomstick: But Jonathan lived on for a long time, actually being friends for a long time... if you call kicking your rival's ass in everything he loves, makes out with the girl he likes, kicking and murdering his dog and trying to kill his dad in order to ruin his life, friends.
Wiz: But after finding out that Dio planned to kill his father, Jonathan called the police and had several witnesses to take Dio down for good.
Boomstick: But then he used THE MASK!! No, not the big green head Mask, this is different. Dio had a mask that made normal people into vampires!
Wiz: In desperation, Dio put the mask on and turned into the ultimate vampire. Jonathan ended up burning down the mansion to try and kill Dio. After his fight, he was injured and with his lover Erina, he was approached by a man named Baron Will A. Zeppeli who showed him the power of Hamon energy by healing his wounds from the battle with
Der Purple Ist Dank
Dio.
Boomstick: By punching him in the gut with his pinky finger. Is... this what Saitama does with his pinky?
Wiz: I doubt that. Zeppeli told Jonathan about the danger the mask and Dio brought to the world and Jonathan would need Zeppeli's help to master Hamon energy, like how the Baron mastered this energy from his mentor, Tonpetti.
Boomstick: So I don't get sick of the musical cameos, what the hell is Hamon energy?!
Wiz: Hamon energy is energy that uses steady breathing to produce overly manipulative and can produce sun-like energy into his fists.
Boomstick: So wait, that's how this ties into killing vampires?
Wiz: Yes! This Hamon energy can let him do incredible techniques such as:
The Zoom Punch requires a ripple breathing technique that allows his arms to stretch the joints and dislocates them for a while which gives him increased strength and his punches now reach his opponents' face from what looks like its zoomed in.
Next up is the Sendo Hamon Overdrive. This allows Jonathan to punch an object and release it into a solid object. For example, if Jonathan punched a wall, the ripple will go through the wall and cause damage to whatever is on the other side of the wall. This even has the ability to destroy an undead zombie and send people flying in a spiral.
The Scarlet Overdrive causes ripples in Jonathan's hand to set itself on fire and spread itself on to different parts of his body but not cause damage to him, but to others, undead or alive.
With the Underwater Turquoise Blue Overdrive, he can use ripples at it's
Sunlight Yellow Overdrive (Image by Randomination
most powerful while he's underwater. This allows him to blast any opponent away and even emptied a lake that covered him entirely to the point where it was just up to his waist.
Using the Overdrive Barrage, Jonathan can punch fast enough to release multiple Overdrives at once.
The Metal Silver Overdrive is about the same as the Sendo Hamon Overdrive, only for it to work on metal.
If you thought you've seen it all, the Life Magnetism Overdrive can magnetize plants together to make a giant leaf that can be used as a hang glider. This also happens with other plants and can even bring plants to life.
Finally there is the Sunlight Yellow Overdrive! His final attack is a charged Hamon attack with power near that of the sun, which can obliterate the Undead.
Boomstick: Hot damn! Jonathan must be practically invincible at this point!
Wiz: Well, to a fault. Jonathan is a gentlman and has barely deviated from that and this can cause him to restrict his full power in a fight.
Boomstick: Well. Shit.
Wiz: But Jonathan has completed feats that makes him one of the best Jojo's in his family.
Boomstick: Yeah, ol' Johnny (Not Johnny Joestar, were talking about Jonathan. Big difference.) has got some pretty good feats like:
Defeated Bruford and Tarkus, a couple of Undead Knights who could destroy a cliff with their pinky finger, faster than the human eye can see and was about twice the size of Jonathan. With a power boost from Zeppeli, he kicked Tarkus' ass while chained to him,
Pulled apart the steel collar from around his neck with his bare hands,
Defeated Dio-- I mean DIO three seperate times (twice as adults once as kids),
Survived the Space Ripper Stingy Eyes twice,
Wiz: Actually, a misconception of Space Ripper Stingy Eyes is that its a laser beam, actually no. It's a body fluid that allows him to shoot it similar to a laser beam. Roughly estimating at its top speed, it reached the clouds in .2 of a second. That means the beam was going up to mach 500,000! And Jonathan dodged it twice!
Can I get back to my point now?!
Jonathan's death (dubbed version)
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Wiz: Sorry.
He was barely phased when his arms and legs were frozen solid,
And prevented himself from being turned into a vampire with vampire juice.
But... Like you said Wiz, Jonathan isn't invicible. He died with Dio's head in his hands, his wife in Dio's coffin with her two children.
Wiz: On Febuary 7th, 1889, Jonathan Joestar died with a happy heart and the ultimate revenge for the evil Dio did to him: A life well lived.
PRE BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
(Yang rides Bumblebee ((Her bike, not the Transformer.)) through the woods and begins to feel very dizzy. She closes her eyes for a quick second when she suddenly sees a giant wave of fog form in front of her, causing her to crash in a fog filled forest. She wipes her eyes and looks around. Yang sees a giant castle with torches, liting the dim lit area. Picking up her bike and leaning it against a statue, Yang enters the castle.)
Yang: Hello? Is anyone here?
(Several rooms away, Jonathan Joestar lays in a bed while Poco and Speedwagon sitting in two different chairs, asleep. Yang looks around and finds a large room and with nothing to do, she punches one of the pillars which wakes up Jonathan. Getting up and getting dressed, he walks into the room where Yang was beating up the pillar, but she doesn't see him. She stops and starts doing stretches while talking out loud to her self.)
Yang: God, this has been rough. After everythong I've done for her and she goes after her former boyfriend, that.. that.. Goddamn psycho!
(She punches the pillar. Jonathan begins to think that DIO has somehow become a teenage girl.)
Yang: Then I lost my arm and I can't wait to find that douchbag and rip his head off!
(Jonathan runs out of the shadows towards Yang.)
Jonathan: DIO!!!
(Yang blocks his punch and pushes Jonathan away.)
Yang: Who the hell are you?! And who's DIO?
Jonathan: You may be a terrible liar DIO, but the only one who knows the truth is I, Jojo!
FIGHT!!!
(Jonathan goes to throw a Zoom Punch, while Yang throws a punch but before she can hit him, his fist punches Yang in the face first, sending her across the room. She gets back up and goes to punch Jonathan, who punches the floor with Hamon energy. Yang is punched into the ceiling and hits the floor.)
Yang (Takes off her sunglasses): Okay. Now the gloves are off.
Jonathan: I prefer to keep mine on.
(They both charge at each other and try to punch the other in the face. Jonathan punches Yang with a Zoom Punch hitting her first. She crashes into a table, stands up and cracks her knuckles. Her Ember Celia activate and she charges at Jonathan, ready for a rather Bizarre fight. Picking up a table, she charges at Jonathan and slams it into his chest. He punches the table with Hamon energy causing the table to punch Yang back and the table shatters into slivers. She shoots six rounds from her Ember Celia at Jonathan who charges the slivers with Hamon energy and forms a wall to block the bullets. After the wall is damaged, Yang punches the wall and lands a hit on Jonathan. She then uppercuts him into another table. Yang goes in for another punch and misses. Throwing multiple punches, Yang continually misses but does manage to land a punch on him. He chuckles as he draws back his fist and yells.)
Jojo: Sendo Hamon OVERDRIVE!
(Jojo punches Yang hundreds of times with the Sendo Hamon Overdrive hoping that Yang might be undead. She's launched into a furious spiral that causes Yang to crash out the window. Using the Ember Celia, she slows her decent. Turning around, she sees Jojo in the window. Watching her jump back up, Jojo uses the wood slivers and makes a hang glider and jumps out the window to continue the fight. Refusing to give up, Yang shoots a couple of explosive shots to destroy the hang glider. The glider catches fire and destroys it. Jojo then uses the Scarlet Overdrive and sets her on fire. Yang throws off her jacket and pats out the flames on her mechanical arm. Jonathan stares in shock as he runs at her and goes for another Overdrive.)
Jojo: Overdrive Barrage!
(Unleashing the Overdrive Barrage on Yang, Jonathan notices her arm is made of metal. Yang grabs his arm and throws him into the moat which was about 8 feet deep, and she walks about knee deep in the water. Jonathan jumps out and goes to release another Zoom Punch on her while Yang goes to punch him. He Zoom Punches her mechanical arm and it comes off, reminding Yang of a certain moment in her life. She falls into the water and has a series of violent flashbacks. She remembers Blake's scream of pain, her rage, Adam's sword. Bursting out of the water, Yang looks down at her arm, heartbeat going extremely fast and thinks that she sees blood pouring out the last bit of her arm. Jonathan jumps in and goes to use the Underwater Turqoise Blue Overdrive while Yang remembers the night she lost her arm. But she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and turns toward her foe as Jonathan uses the Underwater Turqoise Blue Overdrive, blasting Yang out of the water, literally. Using the only Ember Celia she has, Yang blasts her way over to Jonathan. Realizing that she could not be harmed by the UTBO, Jonathan pulls back his fist and yells out.)
Jojo: SUNLIGHT YELLOW!!
(Yang activates Burn and puts all the energy that Jonathan beat her with into one fist.)
Jojo: OVERDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!
(They clash, fists pressing against each other, refusing to give up. Jonathan's fist breaks, causing his arm to explode. He stumbles back while Yang lands on the bank of the moat. She turns around, glowing yellow hair, red eyes and teeth bared, facing Jonathan. He looks at his missing arm and her mechanical arm, on the ground. Both breathing hard, Yang runs over to finish the job, while Jonathan goes over to eleminate her with a Zoom Punch. Yang uppercuts Jonathan and breaks his neck, nearly ripping his head off. She picks up her arm and walks back into the mist, coming back out on her bike. She stops. Where did the bike come from? Where did her jacket come from? Didn't it burn? Yang looks behind her and sees no mist, or castle. It was still noon, not night, like it was at the castle. After a couple hours, she pulls up to a castle, with an old crashed motor cycle, the remains of a burned leather jacket and a stone memorial.)
JONATHAN JOESTAR
1869 - 1889
LOVING HUSBAND, BROTHER, FATHER.
HE WAS A TRUE GENTLEMAN.
(DIO in a dark cloak, hiding his face approachs her from behind.)
DIO: Are you a family friend?
Yang: No. But this place feels, familiar. Did they know what happened?
DIO: All we know is that he died happily. As we all know, the best life is a life well lived.
Yang: Who are you?
DIO: A family friend. (DIO smiles.)
K.O.!!!
POST BATTLE[]
Wiz: Jonathan was a strong opponent, but this was like using lightning to beat Nora Valkyrie.
Boomstick: Did anyone notice that this has the ending went on for TOO FUCKING LONG?!
Wiz: It's October. It would be a crime not to pull a Twilight Zone twist on one of these battles. Anyway, as I was saying, Hamon Energy can only effect the undead, meaning unless Yang was a zombie or vampire, Hamon was basically useless. Looking at the statistics, Jonathan was strong, but not as strong as Yang (Yang: 4.3 tons, Jojo: 1 ton). In terms of speed, Yang was grossly outmatched, but not by much. (Jojo: Mach 38. Yang: Mach 11).
Boomstick: That's not all. Jonathan had nothing to harm her with cause her AURA IS FUCKING INVINCIBLE!! Well, almost. But since Hamon couldn't harm her cause she ain't dead, her aura
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absorbed the damage and allows her to hit back. And even her PTSD wouldn't fuck with her because she's... kinda got her Burn in control.
Wiz: Jonathan had the speed, but when it came to strength, intellegence and powers, Yang takes all.
Boomstick: Looks like Jonathan couldn't Jojo the distance.
