Joker vs Negan is a What-if Death Battle by Kamehameha300.
| Joker vs Negan | |
|---|---|
[[File: BakaLord  BakaLord | |
| Season 1, Episode 3 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | N/A |
| Written by | Kamehameha300 |
| Directed by | Kamehameha300 |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Freddy Krueger vs Candyman | Boba Fett vs Star-Lord |
Description[]
Psychopathic Baddies fight to the death! Will Joker have the last laugh? Or will Lucille have a talk with Joker's face?
Interlude[]
(Cue Invader - Jim Johnston)'
Wiz: Psychopaths. Deranged people who murder for the heck of it.
Boomstick: And no Psychopaths are more evil and infamous than these two! Like Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.
Wiz: And Negan, the man more dangerous than Walkers.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their Weapons, Armor, and Skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Joker[]
Wiz: Jack Napier was a Lab Technician who quit his job to become a comedian only to fail. This was a big problem, do to the fact that he had a pregnant wife. So he made a deal with two robbers to rob his former workplace.
Boomstick: Seems like he's a little desperate. Anyway, Jack had to dress up as The Red Hood for the heist. Too bad they were secretly going to frame him. Man, this reminds me of-
Wiz: Boomstick, don't-
Boomstick: When I was a teenager, Me and two other friends were thinking about robbing a McDonalds for the hell of it. Then, before we could rob them, they said they were hostages forced to rob with me. I was arrested of course. I swore my revenge on them. I will track them down. And I will kill them.
Wiz: Uh. Anyway, sometime before the heist, Jack was informed that his wife and his child died in an accident. This left Jack devastated, and he tries to back out of the plan, but the criminals didn't let him leave. During the heist, the Police gunned the other criminals down, and Jack was chased by Batman.
Boomstick: Due to the fact that it is impossible for a normal person with no training to out fight Batman, Jack escapes by jumping into the Chemical Plant's Waste Pond. Eew! He goes through the pipe and when he lands outside, he realizes that the chemicals fucked up his face! He was given a clown-like appearance. His disfigurement and the loss of his family combined and made him go insane. From that day on, he would be known as the Joker.
Wiz: Since then, Joker has gained Batman as his arch nemesis. Joker is a surprisingly good fighter, and is intelligent despite his insanity. He has a large array of weapons. These weapons include Knives, Razor Sharp Throwing Cards, Guns, Explosives, a Joybuzzer, a Acid Flower...
Boomstick: But the most infamous and most dangerous of them all is the Laughing Gas. Once someone inhales it, they laugh uncontrollably until they suffocate and die. That's pretty fucking cool.
Wiz: Despite Joker having all these advantages, he is still human, and he isn't very strong. He can also get cocky, which can give his opponent a huge advantage.
Boomstick: So that means that if you're a supervillain, you automatically have an excuse to kill someone! That gives me an-
Wiz: Don't even think about it.
(Joker: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Negan[]
(*Cue: The Walking Dead Original Theme-Bear Mcreary*)
Wiz: Before the horrendous outbreak, Negan was't what he was now. He was originally a Gym Teacher, and he often bullied his students.
Boomstick: Well can you blame him?! Nothing is more annoying than a kid that can't climb a goddamn rope.
Wiz: Anyway, Negan was married to a woman named Lucille, and they were a happy couple. Unfourtunately, Lucille was diagnosed with cancer. The news affected Negan drastically, and caused him a lot of pain and stress. To cope with this pain, Negan had an affair with another Woman.
Boomstick: After Negan came up with that brilliant idea, Lucille was somehow aware of the affair. But for some damn reason, SHE DIDN'T SAY SHIT! I guess she realized that he was emotionally shit. Good thing Negan ended the affair, confessed to it, and got back together with his wife.
Wiz: Sadly, around the time the walker virus was spreading, Lucille succumbed to cancer, with Negan never leaving her bedside. Then-
Boomstick: Man. It must be great to blame cancer for the death of your wife. I never got to.
Wiz:Uh...
Boomstick: Hmmmmmm.
Wiz: Well, Negan exits the hospital room and fights off a few Walkers to save a thirteen year old boy. Negan and the boy quickly bond...only for the boy to be killed by Walkers. Over the course of years, Negan made friends...that were killed by Walkers.
Boomstick: One of his dead friends left a baseball bat behind, and Negan claimed it as his own. He made several other friends...THEN THEY DIED TOO! Negan was clearly frustrated that his friends kept dying, and went solo for a while. Then, he met Dwight and Sherry. They had a pretty cool group that wouldn't die so easily.
Wiz: Negan was still skeptical, scared that they would die too. But Negan returns to them, and leads them to victory against a group of Walkers. Negan then meets another group of survivors and invites them into their group. In exchange for this act of kindness, one of those members offered Negan a woman to...you know.
Boomstick: Negan however, is disgusted by this offer, and says that a someone allowing men to rape women is no better than a Walker. The man doesn't take kindly to this statement, and throws Negan against a barbed wire fence. Negan retaliates by beating the man to death over the head. This takes the group aback, but Negan uses their fear. He then wraps the barbed wire around the bat, naming it Lucille.
Wiz: Negan is a skilled fighter, and is pretty strong too. He is intelligent in battle and out of battle. He is skilled with firearms and bat wielding. Let's not forget that Lucille is strong enough to crush a human skull with a single swing. But Negan still has regular human weaknesses and can be killed.
Boomstick: But that doesn't matter. Negan and his badass weapon are NOT to be fucked with.
(Negan: Little Pig, Little Pig. Let me in.)
Pre Death Battle[]
(Cue Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: Alright. The combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Death Battle[]
Negan had just finished a long walk, and was heading back to base. He had told his Posse that he had went to get firewood. He had, but the real reason he left was to clear his head. He still missed Lucille, and didn't fully get over her death.
Negan had arrived. He put down his firewood. Something seemed different. He walked up to the fence and went inside.
Negan: Alrighty. I got the firewood, so we can-
Negan witnessed something so crazy that he dropped his firewood. He found his entire Posse...murdered.
Negan walked up to their corpses. Yep, definitely dead. Like the Dab. Negan then continued to inspect the murder.
Mysterious Voice: A real tragedy, isn't it? Oh well. Nothing lasts forever
Negan quickly turns around. He spots a sight that is rather...unusual sight. A man with chalk white skin, green hair, and other weird features.
Negan: Wait a minute. You killed my Posse?!
Negan grabs Joker by the throat and pins him against the fence. Joker showed no signs of being intimidated. He continued giggling as Negan held him up with one hand.
Negan: I don't know who the fuck you are, but NO ONE kills my Posse and lives to tell the tale!
Joker burst out laughing.
Negan grit his teeth in anger and threw Joker down to the ground.
Joker: Well then. Luckily for you-
Joker rolled back and pulled out a crowbar.
Joker: I came prepared too.
FIGHT!!!
Negan grabs Lucille just as Joker swung his crowbar to the side. Negan dodged and swung Lucille at Joker, who also dodged. They continue swing at each other, with the opponent either blocking or dodging. Negan parrys one of the swings and bonks Joker over the head with the handle of Lucille.
Negan grabs Joker by the throat and knees him in the Stomach. Joker retaliates and squeezes his boutonniere, as a small stream of acid squirts out of it and covers a part of Negan's hand. The shear stinging and burning feeling the acid gave was almost unbearable. Negan jerked his hand away, letting go of a laughing Joker.
Negan: Well I have to admit, you're tougher than I thought clown boy.
Joker: Same here. You're bigger than I thought you'd be.
Negan: Well, my momma fed me well. But I am still gonna have to kill you.
Negan rammed into Joker with a shoulder charge. He punched Joker with heavy hits several times. Joker countered by uppercutting Negan and roundhouse kicking him.
Joker: Looks like you got a "kick" out of that!
Negan: Oh will you just shut u-
Joker caught his hand and Joybuzzed him. Enough to stun, but not to kill. Before Negan recovered from this attack, Joker pulled out a Tommy Gun. Luckily, Negan noticed this and took cover as Joker fired like a madman. Unfortunately for Joker, he ran out of Bullets. Negan jumped up and whacked the Gun out of Joker's hands. Negan grabs Joker and pushes him up against a tree and punched him with both hands. Each hit brought blood out of Joker's mouth. Joker fell to the ground.
Negan: Y'know. Momma always said when you get your hopes up...you get a pile of shit. And you sir...
Negan picks up Joker.
Negan: Are a pile of shit.
Negan bashes Joker on the back of the head will Lucille. Negan climbs on top of Joker and punches him with hard, heavy punches. Each one made a loud BAM!
Negan: Squeal for mercy little piggie!
BAM!
Negan: Go on!
BAM!
Negan: SQUEAL FOR YOUR LIFE!
Joker was heavily bleeding, and Negan was about to climb off him. But before could, he heard a choked out and quiet giggle. Negan was enraged. He brought both hands onto Joker's throat and squeezed, trying to strangle him.
Negan: Any last words before I choke the life out of you?
Joker said nothing. But then...
Joker: Tell me. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
This question confused Negan enough to loosen his grip. As soon as he did this, Joker jammed a knife into Negan's shoulder. Joker flips Negan off as they both get up. They stared each other down, as Joker started shaking, with his fists clenched. His blood boiled, and he charged at Negan screaming in anger. They clashed with all the force they had, but Joker flipped over Negan, giving each other some distance. Joker started throwing Razor Cards at Negan. Joker was too quick, and the cards slashed at Negan's Jacket...and his flesh. Joker pulls out a gun and pulls the trigger.
To Negan's surprise, a bullet didn't come out. A flag with the word BANG on it did. Joker laughed and pulled the trigger again, and the flag shot out and stabbed Negan. Negan wobbled around before collapsing against a tree. Joker skips over to Negan and whispers in his ear.
Joker: Don't worry dear. I'll let your last moments be grand. After all, laughter is the best medicine!
Joker sprays laughing gas into Negan's face. Negan then begins hysterically laughing. A minute later...his laughs stopped. His corpse was scarred with a ghastly smile.
Joker: And THAT'S why you never mess with the clown prince of crime.
KO!!!
Results[]
Joker limps away, giggling to himself, while Negan's corpse is devoured by Walkers.
Boomstick: Laughing is a pretty popular murder method these days.
Wiz: This wasn't as close as you'd think. Though Negan was tough and incredibly strong, that was really the only advantage he had.
Boomstick: For instance, most of you out there are thinking that Joker is an idiot due to him fucking around. Well Joker has been able to outsmart BATMAN, who is and incredible tactician. Not to mention that Joker created his own laughing gas, which proves he is intelligent in some ways.
Wiz: Joker is also a better fighter too. Like Boomstick said, Joker has been able to hold his own in a fight with Batman, and almost killed him multiple times. In Batman:Assault on Arkham, Joker was able to outfight Deadshot, a skilled assassin, for a short amount of time. While Negan has had trouble with Rick Grimes, a regular human.
Boomstick: Joker has also survived A LOT of punishment. He was mercilessly pummeled multiple times by Batman, and even managed to live through explosions and hard landings. He even survived a Batarang straight through the goddamn eye! As seen, the Batarang was about 5 to 6 inches long. According to other measurements, something that sharp of that length could severely damage a human, and Joker could still fight.
Wiz: Wow Boomstick. I didn't know you were that smart.
Boomstick: I...I'm not. Oh god. I need to lie down after the analysis.
Wiz: Joker easily outclasses Negan in weaponry. Joker is the owner of knives, guns, explosives, and other tools of destruction. But Joker's main advantage is his unpredictability. Joker has used this to take out his enemies, and his incredibly insane. This makes it almost impossible to predict his fighting style.
Boomstick: Joker has also died MULTIPLE times, and somehow survived! In the end, Joker outclassed Negan with his intelligence, unpredictable nature, weaponry, and others. Looks like Joker told his Killing Joke.
Wiz: The Winner is The Joker.
Next Time on Death Battle[]
Boomstick: Next Time on Death Battle...
???: He's no good to me dead.
VS
???: You said it yourself bitch! We're the Guardians of the Galaxy!
BOBA FETT VS STAR LORD