Joker Laugh
Makes you want to Laugh, doesn't it?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
"Did you think all this time that I wouldn't find out about YOoOoOOOOUUUUUUUU?????"
IT ONLY TAKES ONE BAD DAY, TO LOSE IT ALL, AND GO INSANE............
Joker/Spinel
Boomstick: You know, I love gettin crazy, but these two take it up a noch!
Wiz: Like Spinel, playfriend of Pink Diamond, and rival of the Crystal Gems.
???: And the Joker. Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime.
Wiz: Who said that?
Boomstick: Oh no, it can't be.
Wiz: Who?
Boomstick: My--
Ex: Boomstick's ex wife!
Wiz: Ooookay... Anyway, I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick and it's our job to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
THE JOKER
Boomstick: Every movie has an alternate ending that you hate, but here, it's a few alternate beginnings that I hate more.
Wiz: The Joker has many names and origins.
Ex: But like Boomstick not remembering making out with my sister and two of my bridesmaids on our wedding...
Boomstick: SHUT UP!
Ex: They all have something in common.
Wiz: Exactly. He falls into a giantic vat, at ACE Chemicals.
Boomstick: What does ACE Chemicals make?
Wiz: Chemicals.
Boomstick: What kind?
Ex: The Chemical kind, the kind we don't have.
Boomstick: Don't MAKE ME RIP OFF MY LEG AND SHOOT YOU!!!!!
Wiz: Well, she's right. They just don't specify what chemicals ACE makes. So it could be anything not for medicine or makeup. So after that day, this John Doe became the one the only, THE JOKER.
Boomstick: And that's not all, he comes with a crap-ton of gadgets after meeting his chemically induced fate like:
A deadly hand buzzer which turned some guy into a fried corpse. Now I'm never gonna look at KFC normally again.
Flag guns that shoot the flag like a harpoon through your chest,
A crowbar stained with the blood of Jason Todd,
exploding pies,
a long barreled revolver and machine gun,
random ticking time bombs,
an Acid spraying flower on his jacket.
And lots of knives
(My favorite part)
He also has:
A Jokermobile which has a feature called the Killing Joke WHICH SHOOTS A TON OF MISSLES!!! HOLY CRAP!
A rocket launcher
And... exploding gumballs?! Wiz, is this a thing?!
Wiz: Yes... yes it is.
Boomstick:HOW?!?!
Ex: Think of it as how I served you the divorce papers...
Boomstick: Wiz, HELP ME WITH MY LEG...
Wiz: Okay, now the Joker isn't limited to JUST those items, he also has his trademark Joker gas, which makes its victims faces twist into a hideous grin.
Boomstick: But that's not the worst part. HE'S IMMUNE TO THE STUFF.
Wiz: Most likely to the fact that he was dunked into the chemicals has built up his immunity. He even has a high pain tolerance, which allows him to be able to walk around with--
Boomstick: A BATARANG IN HIS EYE. Ouch.
Wiz: Well, that may be the lowest of all his feats.
Ex: Just like how Boomstick's biggest feat was getting off the couch, only to get back on the couch and make me get him a beer.
Boomstick: Please stop.
Wiz: He's taken on the Justice League, beaten Jason Todd to a pulp, survived crashing his jetpack, killed 5 of Black Mask's men with a glass cup, made Batman break his neck, convinced Harley Quinn to his aid multiple times, and nearly killed the Batman family all at once, a feat which no Batman villian had ever done before.
Boomstick: Or made Superman give his chest a high five.
Wiz: HE KILLED JOKER, SUPERMAN WAS TRICKED TO DO THAT.
Ex: Like how I tricked Boomstick into marring me.
Boomstick: That's it! Wiz, get my leg off. I'M SHOOTING HER RIGHT NOW!!!
Wiz: NO! I don't know what happened between you two, but I'm leaving.
Good
Bye.
Boomstick: Wait, Wiz!!
(Sigh)
The Joker is a massive manipulator, just like--
Ex: I am, but I didn't mean for Wiz to leave, I meant for you to leave, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Too late now. He's probably at the airport bookin' fer China.
JOKER: I'LL NEED SOME GUYS. NOT THESE GUYS CAUSE THEY'RE KINDA DEAD.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......
SPINEL
Ex: In the Diamond Empire, every gem is made for a purpose, Lapis Lazulis were made to terraform planets, Rubys, Ameythists and Quartzs to become military forces and the Diamonds were made to rule.
Boomstick: Except the littlest Diamond, Pink, who had a playmate in her garden.
Ex: This is Spinel, from over 6,000 years ago. Made only to be a toy for Pink Diamond to play with because the Diamonds didn't think she deserved a colony.
Boomstick: Sucks to be them I--
PINK DIAMOND: HERE IN THE GARDEN, LET'S PLAY A GAME, I'LL SHOW HOW ITS DONE. HERE IN THE GARDEN NOW STAND VERY STILL....
Boomstick: Just like my dad, and Wiz, she ditched Spinel for 6,000 years.
Ex: Boomstick, are you crying?
Boomstick: No...
Ex:... Anyway, 6,000 years later, the garden gets a transmission from Pink's son, Steven.
Boomstick: Now mad for revenge, she gets a new style, a few new toys to ruin Steven's life forever.
Ex: Just like I did.
Boomstick: What?
Ex: Nothing.
Boomstick: She has a rejuvinator, which can reset a gem back to their normal forms. But since we don't know what that does to full humans...
Ex: She has a giant injector which can poison the earth with an acid-like substance which can harm organic life, but not gems.
Boomstick: Spinel also has super stretchy powers that aparently have no limit!
Ex: This doesn't seem to be gem shapeshifting, so therefore must be able to stretch naturally.
Boomstick: She's smashed her injector 20 to15 feet into the ground with a SINGLE PUNCH.
Ex: She's beaten Garnet who can move fast enough to catch lightning, showing she can move at 220,000,000 miles per hour.
Boomstick: She's stealthy enough to sneak up on Steven Universe, and stealthy enough to steal all the stuff she needed.
Ex: Boomstick, let's start the battle.
Boomstick: I guess it's time for a death battle...
I'VE GOT A NEW STYLE, AND A FEW NEW TOYS, THAT'LL PUT AND END TO YOUR, "HAPPILY EVER AFTER," OnCe AnD fOr AlL!!!!!!!
(Setting: Gotham Amuement park. Midnight.)
(Spinel is looking for Steven.)
Spinel: Steven? WHERE ARE YOU?!
Hears screaming from tent.
Spinel enters to find the Joker breaking Steven's gem with crowbar and Steven's dead body full of knive wounds.
CRACK!
Steven's gem is shattered.
Spinel: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
Joker: Oh, are you the new Harley Quinn? The old one's in there, just tell her your her replacement and then do what you want.
Spinel: RAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Jumps at Joker.)
FIGHT!
Joker grabs crowbar and smacks Spinel across the circus tent. Spinel pulls out rejuvinator.
Joker: Ooooooooooooh! What is that?!
Spinel jumps right back at Joker, and Joker throws crowbar away and pulls out gun. Spinel dodges bullets lands a blow on Joker not phasing him.
Joker: Hey! That tickled.
Spinel makes blades with her hands, and cuts the barrel of the gun.
Joker: Oh, dear.
Spinel cuts Joker's arm, and Joker quickly runs out of the tent twards a shed. Spinel catches Joker and lands on top of him. Joker grabs something from his coat, and stuffs it in Spinel's mouth.
Joker: Bomb appaite!
Spinel explodes leaving her gem. Joker stuffs the gem in a pie and throws it. Before exploding, Spinel reforms, and pie explodes behind her.
Spinel: JOKER!!!!!
Joker sees Spinel and grabs machine gun and rocket launcher. Spinel dodges bullets and rockets while Joker runs at shed and pulls out the Joker mobile (Arkham Knight) Spinel lands and Joker shoots at Spinel while she dodges everything thrown at her, while trying to make the horn with her hand.
The Killing Joke is activated.
Joker: Hey, you wanna hear a joke? It's a REAL KILLER!
Joker Laughs until he sees her blowing the horn and the Injector appears.
She points for the Injector to crash into the Jokermobile.
Joker laughs as the Injector crashes and destroys him and missiles are going everywhere.
Spinel finds Steven's body, holds it in her arms.
SPINEL: Never again.
K.O.!
Boomstick: Yay. She beat him. Whoopie doo.