John Wick Vs Jason Voorhees is a What-If? Death Battle between John Wick from the movie of the same name, and Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th series.
Description[]
Two deadly and very determined killers fueled by revenge, something that they have plenty of. Which is the better and more effective killer, the trained assassin who can kill you with a pencil, or undead zombie with a knack for cutting people to bits? Find out in this Death Battle!
Notes: Jason will be in his Undead Form/State, both have access to all weapons they have used before, Composite Jason is being used.
Intro[]
Skel: When something or someone dear to you is killed, you're gonna be pretty sad.
Skunk: But for the two here today, their sadness is more madness, and vengeance, for they lost what is most important to them in their lives.
Skel: John Wick, Expert Assassin who can murder with office equipment.
Skunk: And Jason Voorhees, Camp Crystal Lake Slasher.
Skel: He's Skunk and I'm Skel!
Skunk: And it's our job to research their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
John Wick Makes Dog Food Out Of You In Death Battle![]
Skunk: When you're doing a job, you often want to do one you love and are good at.
Skel: Yeah, and nobody was better at being an assassin than John Wick!
John is shown shooting, stabbing and eliminating various people with ease.
Skunk: He was one of the absolute best, until he had to retire, since he had wanted to do a peaceful life instead after he found more to life than killing.
Skel: Aka, he fell in love, which I find gross.
Skunk: But this resulted in the Russian Mafia taking over, which at first wasn't a problem, it seemed.
Skel: But you can see where this is going, as John's wife died, and she left him a cute doggy!
Skunk: But John's happiness with his dog didn't last, as members of the mafia had taken his car, and killed his dog.
Skel: Not the dog! Anything but the dog!
Skunk: This made John pretty mad, and it wasn't a pretty sight of what he did to the mafia after this, killing every member of it.
Skel: After he finished that, he became a hitman again, because that is the most logical step I guess.
Skunk: But he couldn't be one of the best just with his hands, he had plenty of stuff to help him on his contracts and quest of vengeance.
John's Arsenal[]
- Glocks
- Assult Rifles
- Benelli M4 Super 90
- A Pencil
- Yes, a pencil...
- Bullet Proof Over-shirt
Skel: He uses a massive amount of guns, such as Glocks, Assult Rifles and Shotguns, each of which he is an expert with.
Skunk: He also has a bullet proof vest, and has used, something he is very famous for using, a pencil... he killed 3 guys with a pencil...
Skel: Who knew school equipment could be so dangerous?
Skunk: He has achieved a lot with the guns, but he also has impressive feats overall too.
John's Feats[]
- Can kill groups of men within seconds with a gun
- Killed 3 guys with a pencil
- Was able to survive a 20ft drop
- Survived an explosion that destroyed his house
- Got up fine after getting hit by a car
- Shot a person through a wall
- Killed an entire mafia gang
Skel: He has eliminated a massive amount of guys, shot several at once within seconds, and again, he killed some with a pencil!
Skunk: He survived what most humans would die to or at least, be nearly dead after, like a 20ft drop, and even an explosion that blew up his house.
Skel: This man is so crazy, he has been hit by a car and got up fine, but then again, that's what he is, a man.
John's Flaws[]
- Still a human
- Has been bested by people way below his skill level, including two thugs who took his car and killed his dog
- Very limited protection with his bullet proof vest
- Guns have limited ammo, and if a fight drags on long enough, he will run out of ammo and have to resort to close combat
- This can be made a bigger weakness if someone with better hand-to-hand combat skills is fighting him
Skunk: Yes, despite how tough and notorious he is, he still is just a human man, and can still be easily killed by a thing such as a bullet to the head, or stab to the heart.
Skel: He has also been bested by dudes below his skill level, and he is really a guns type of guy, not a close combat guy, so if he runs out of ammo, he is at a much bigger disadvantage.
Skunk: And even his armour only provides limited protection, but that's still better than no protection at all.
Skel: He is a lean, mean, revenge fueled machine, and ain't nobody gonna tangle with this assassin.
John is shown killing people with a pencil.
Jason Slashes Death Battle In Half![]
Skunk: Horror often shows off the truly horrific monsters that can lurk under the bed, or in the dark woods, but sometimes they aren't monsters, just people who wish to get revenge.
Skel: Meet Pamela Voorhees, the very crazy mother to Jason Voorhees. She was the cook at camp crystal lake, and she thought Jason would be safe, but he drowned as the counselors weren't watching over him.
Skunk: This caused her to be enraged, and she murdered the others who worked there, as they couldn't be trusted.
Skel: Then the place closed... until it got reopened for some reason, but then she came back, for vengeance.
Skunk: This time she got nearly everyone, apart from the final girl, who was able to kill her off.
Skel: You'd think this would be the end of a story, but nope, turns out Jason never drowned, he just went missing, and had to survive on his own in the woods, but when he found his mother's head, he took it and made a shrine.
Skunk: So over the decades, Jason had started to hear his mother's voice in his head, constantly telling him to get revenge, to make sure they pay for what they did to her and Jason.
Skel: So naturally over like 11 movies+, he had murdered a massive amount of people, anybody who came to the lake, he slaughtered, kept doing it for years, until he was finally dragged down to hell, by a weird blade...
Skunk: Then Freddy Krueger had came to revive Jason, and we really don't want to drag the story part on for too long, so let's get to Jason's Powers and Arsenal
Jason's Powers & Arsenal[]
Powers[]
- Resurrection
- Regeneration
- Super Strength
- Teleportation
- Possession
- Terror Infliction
- Pain Immunity
- Machete Duplication
Weapons[]
- Iconic Machete
- Chains
- Bow & Arrow
- Knives
- Axe
- Anything nearby
Skel: He is a super zombie pretty much, able to regenerate his body from damage over time, as well as being totally unaware of pain, no grunts or anything, which is odd.
Skunk: He can use things like axes, knives and his very well-known Machete. He has used a very unusual set of skills before too, such as how he can cause a person to become confused and move opposite directions to where they want to go, and he can even duplicate his machete after throwing it, able to spawn one when he wishes.
Skel: He can also, like you'd expect, has super strength, able to just rip people apart and toss stuff like they are pillows with a shove. He can use anything he has available, even a pencil maybe?
Skunk: Being the beast he is, he has done many very incredible things over the years.
Jason's Feats[]
- Killed over 154 people
- Beat Freddy Krueger
- Was able to fight Freddy while in the dream world, at least until Freddy figured out Jason is afraid of water
- Has tanked things that would hospitalize or even outright kill regular people
- Stabbed by his own machete
- Eyes got gouged out
- Building fell on him
- Fell off a mountain and walked it off
- Survived an explosion that sent him to space (two times)
- Survived being hung
- Pulled of strength feats that are very unreasonable for a zombie (Though, Jason is not a normal zombie, so, yeah...)
- Can throw a car with ease
- Threw a playground ride, which hit hard enough to cause a helicopter to crash
- Squeezed a person's head hard enough to make their eye fly out
- Punched someone's head off
- Can tear people's limbs off (Tore off Freddy Krueger's arm, and later stuck the arm through Freddy's torso)
- Killed the 1% (Whatever that means)
- Escaped Hell
- Killed people before they could react
- Outran helicopter bullets
- Can battle people from the Mortal Kombat Cast
Skel: Even though he is a zombie, and they are normally slow, he is way, WAY above a zombie, like how he can toss cars around, outrun bullets, kill people before they even know what's going on, the typical works.
Skunk: He escaped hell itself, survived things like getting a firing squad fill him with led, getting hung, crushed by a house and sent flying by an explosion, not to mention how insanely strong he is, able to toss playground rides high into the sky, make a person's eyes pop out with a squeeze, rip off limbs easily, he even can face off against Mortal Kombat characters.
Skel: Mortal Kombat, yknow those characters who can react to lightning and destroy buildings easily, those characters.
Skunk: For all Jason's impressive feats and what-not, he is still not the most stable, and his body isn't exactly enhanced with extra durability.
Jason's Flaws[]
- Insane
- Afraid of Water (Apparently)
- Often shown to move really slowly
- Easily manipulated by a person who looks like his mother
- While most damage doesn't outright kill Jason, he still gets injured
- Jason's intentions are often predictable
Skel: He is not really too much of a strategist, while he has made traps, they require time, and that was when he was human, so being undead makes him less likely to use traps.
Skunk: He also isn't always really fast, as he often walks at a... walking pace, and could get distracted if someone looks like his mother, which makes him stop, and obey them, resulting in his death most of the time.
Skel: He also is afraid of water, since he drowned in it, but, that's a really dumb thing honestly, as that's only brought up in Freddy Vs Jason.
Skunk: But no matter how much pain is inflicted, no matter how badly he is hurt, Jason will always come back, he is relentless, he won't stop until his mother is happy with him, so if you see a hockey masked person in the distance, be sure to stay careful, as you could be his next victim.
Jason is shown crushing a person's head as their eye flies out.
Intermission[]
Skunk: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Skel: It's time for a Death Battle!!!
Fight[]
Location: Graveyard
John Wick is shown walking to a grave, with his wife's name. He lays down some flowers, and takes a moment to mourn her. Some dirt moves slightly over in a different grave, having "R.I.P Jason Voorhees" engraved on it. A fist suddenly comes out, and then a 2nd. John gets up, and walks a bit away, looking closely at this. Jason then emerges, upper body first, then gets out the hole and glares around. John pulls a pistol out and points it at Jason.
John: I don't know who the hell you are, but you don't seem normal, so unless you convince me otherwise and answer my questions, I'm gonna shoot that stupid mask off your face. Are you a hired assassin out to get me? Who sent you? Why the fuck are you dressed like that?
Jason simply turns around, and leans down, taking his machete from the grave he was in. He brandishes the blade towards John, whom doesn't take kindly to this, and shoots the machete, but Jason just stumbles a few inches back. John then positions himself to a more ready stance. Jason simply stands there, staring down John.
Fight!
Jason starts to walk towards John, as John moves backwards and takes a good look at his foe. John's thoughts rush through his head.
John (In his head): Let's see, ragged clothes, doesn't look like he has armour, should be able to knee cap him.
John then shoots Jason's knees, stopping Jason for 3 seconds, but they then resume their approach towards John. John shoots at Jason's torso now, but Jason isn't affected, and eventually he reaches withing machete range of John. Jason attempts to slash John, swinging to the side, which John dodges, but Jason's swing hits a random grave and smashes it to bits, which John takes note of, seeing how strong Jason is.
John: Ok, maybe face-to-face close combat is a bad idea.
Jason doesn't stop, swinging even more, but John evades the slashes, and shoots Jason's shoulder, making Jason stumble back a bit. John shoots again, but the pistol clicks, out of ammo. John tosses the pistol at Jason, who doesn't even seem to take notice, as he resumes his walking towards John. John rolls behind his car that is parked outside the graveyard. A few clicks are heard, as Jason stops. John then stands up, showing he now has an Assult Rifle. Jason gets shot up, multiple bullets hitting his torso, which pushes him back, staggering him. When the bullets stop, John ducks down to reload, as Jason looks at the various bullet holes in him. John is shown reloading behind his car.
John: This motherfucker can sure take a lot of damage, I'll give him that.
John stands up, but quickly lifts his gun to his face, as Jason's machete gets thrown, and it breaks the gun in half, but the machete falls down. Jason grabs the car by the door handle, and with almost no effort, he tosses it aside. John looks shocked at this display of strength and willpower in front of him, but doesn't quit.
John: You think you're tough, but I'm not giving up just because you can take a beating!
John jumps behind his wrecked car, as Jason almost punched him. Jason picks his machete up, but a loud click is heard. John stands up with his Benelli M4 Super 90. He aims, and fires. Jason gets loaded with the bullets, even exposing some organs, having Jason's stomach fall out. One of Jason's arms comes off, the one holding the machete. Jason falls down, and lays in the mud. John walks up to his fallen foe.
John: Guess that's over with.
John is about to turn, but lightning strikes down on Jason's body, which gets Jason back to his feet, with horror music accompanying his rise. John looks in shock at this, as Jason walks to John, not even limping, or in pain from the loss of his arm and massive amount of torso damage. John tries to do fisticuffs with Jason, punching him a lot, while Jason stands there. He then sees his knuckles are bleeding.
John: Crap...
Jason winds a punch up, and hits John hard enough to send him flying into a his car. John sees Jason walking up, and he stands up, very exchausted.
John: You are tough, I'll admit...
Jason starts to wind his fist up. John quickly takes a pencil from his dash and sticks it in Jason's neck. Jason pauses for a moment. John looks at him too, but Jason grabs John's neck and lifts him. Jason impales John on a branch. John screams in pain, but is quickly silenced as Jason pulls the pencil out of his own neck, and sticks it down John's throat. John then goes limp, as Jason picks up his severed arm, and walks into the woods.
K.O!
Conclusion[]
Skel: Score! Another point for the undead!
Skunk: This fight had, well, it had some clear advantages in it, but it wasn't as close or far as you'd think.
Skel: Firstly, John's weapons and skills outmatched Jason in range and, well, he was just more well trained, but that didn't matter when you consider the stuff Jason has gone through.
Skunk: Jason's insane durability and pain resistance allowed him to keep going after John, as we all know, guns don't have unlimited ammo.
Skel: Action Movies tend to disagree, but yeah.
Skunk: There was only so long John could stay away from Jason before he'd run out of ammo, and Jason has proven he can keep going, even if he loses limbs or gets badly damaged, which leads to the next point, their strength difference.
Skel: John is obviously better than normal humans, but we've never seen him pull of tossing cars around, throwing big rides and punching people's heads off, Jason destroyed in the strength category.
Skunk: To be blunt, even with the skills and weapons John had, he just wasn't able to catch up to get enough damage quick enough to stop Jason, before Jason could stop John's heart.
Skel: Seems John made a grave mistake picking a fight with this rotting brute.
Skunk: The Winner is Jason Voorhees!