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John Wick vs. The Equalizer is a What-If? Death Battle by Strunton. Featuring John Wick from the eponymous film against The Equalizer from the eponymous film.
Description[]
John Wick vs. The Equalizer! Two retired killers of the 2010 movie era that returned to their old ways after a certain event square off. Who will win? Who wil die?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: You know. When killers just wanna stop killing people, some Russian bad guys just makes you get out of retirement and returns to your old ways. Like John Wick, the ex hitman.
Wiz: And Robert McCall, the ex black ops operative.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their armor, weapons, and skills to find out who will win...a Death Battle.
John Wick[]
Wiz: John was known as the best. He was a mob hitman who eventually fell in love with a woman named Helen.
Boomstick: Of course he did. Isn't that what always happens in these kind of stories?
Wiz: After falling in love, John wanted to leave the assassination business. In order to do it, he had to complete an impossible mission for his employer Viggo.
Boomstick: What was this impossible mission?
Wiz: Well no one knows. But what we do know is that John Wick succeeded, and it even impressed his former employer.
Boomstick: For 5 years, John was living the happy life with his life....until his wife diagnosed with cancer and died.
Wiz: To ensure that John didn't stay alone, Helen arranged for a dog named Daisy to be brought to John after she dies.
Boomstick: Awww. That's so sweet.
Wiz: It was until he ran into Russian mob members, which one of them happened to be his employer's son, who wanted his car. Wick refused to give them his car so like any normal person, they broke into Wick's home, killed Daisy, and stole his car.
Boomstick: They killed the dog?! They must die
Wiz: Throughout his movie, John Wick has used many types of guns.
Boomstick: Now we're in my kind of category. He has the Heckle & Koch P30L, a pistol that is fitted with a compensator that he uses as his primary firearm throughout his film. Next up is the Glock 26, a compact pistol that Wick uses as his secondary firearm.
Wiz: Next there's the Kel-Tec KSG, a shotgun filled with EOTech sights.
Boomstick: And finally there's the Coharie Arms CA-415, an assault rifle complete with a shortened barrel, EOTech 553 holographic sight, and a vertical grip.
Wiz: John Wick is a beast in CQC. He usually relies on overpower his foes with brute strength and unpredictability.
Boomstick: He also takes pain like it's nothing. He even let his former employer, Viggo, stab him so he could break Viggo's arm.
Wiz: John is also a decent stealth artist. John is an incredible assassin. He managed to defeat many Russian mob members while in loud, flashy club, defeated Viggo in close quarters combat, avenged his dog's death, killed three guys with a pencil and managed to defeat Ms. Perkins, a female hitman, while having recent stitches in his left side that she began bust open during the fight.
Boomstick: Dang. John's a beast.
Wiz: Well don't overestimate him. He's still only human and can still die in humanly ways.
Boomstick: But in the end, John's one of the most vicious hitman to ever live. If he takes a contract on your life, don't bother running. You're already dead.
John Wick: People keep asking me am I back, and I haven't really had an answer. But now yeah. I'm thinking I'm back. SO YOU CAN EITHER HAND OVER YOUR SON OR YOU CAN DIE SCREAMING ALONG SIDE HIM!!
The Equalizer[]
Wiz: In the city of Boston, Massachusetts lives a man named Robert McCall, an ex black ops member that works at Home Mart.
Boomstick: Home Mart? They couldn't come up with a rip off Home Depot, Wal-mart fusion than that?
Wiz: When Robert can't get any sleep, he likes to spend his nights reading at 24/7 diner.
Boomstick: Oh yeah. Because that's what everybody does when they can't get sleep. They go to a diner at 2 a.m. While at the diner, Robert became friends with a teenage prostitute name Alina who worked for a Russian Mafia.
Wiz: One night, Alina got brutally beaten and hospitalized by her pimp, Slavi. Frustrated at the Russian Mafia for hospitalizing Aline, Robert came out of retirement to take down anyone who was working for the Russian Mafia.
Boomstick: So he basically does all this just because a teenage prostitute was brutally beaten? K
Wiz: Robert's black ops training makes him highly skilled in close quarters combat. Even though Robert does not standardly carry weapons with him, he always manages to find a weapon where ever he is.
Boomstick: Yeah he's pretty good at usually his surroundings as a weapon. He also manages to disarm his foes extremely quickly. One time a thug held a gun at his face and he just laughed, quickly took the gun out his hand, and pointed right at the thug.
Wiz: Robert is also extremely intelligent and very stealthy.
Boomstick: But McCall's best ability is his anticipation abilities. When he fought a gang of Russian thugs in a restaurant, he was able to anticipate ALL of their moves. Really. Every single one of them.
Wiz: For all of Robert's skills, he's not perfect. He's still a human with human limits.
Boomstick: Yeah and sometimes, he kind of needs preparation time to take down his foe. Also his surroundings determine the kind of weapons he can use against his foes. But still, if those are his only limits, there's no stopping him.
The Equalizer: I've done some bad things in my life, Nicolai... Things I'm not proud of. I promised someone I love very much that I would never go back to being that person. But for you, I'm going to make an exception. You asked me what I saw when I looked at you. What do you see when you look at me?
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle
DEATH BATTLE![]
Strunton[]
Midnight at Home Mart "Alright I think it's about time to lock up this place," Robert said. Robert was getting ready to lock up the store until someone entered the store.
"Hello," the man said. "I would like to buy something."
"I'm sorry," Robert said. "But we're closed."
"Come on. Let me just get one thing," the man said.
"Who do you think you're fooling," Robert said.
"What are you talking about?"
"I know who you are. You're John Wick, one of the most feared hitman in the world. There isn't a soul who doesn't know who you are," Robert said. "I guess you have a contract on me?" John Wick pulled out his Glock 26 on Robert
"Very intelligent man I see," John said. Robert quickly disarmed John and pointed the gun at John.
"Guess you could say that," Robert said. John quickly pulled out his Heckle & Koch P30L and aimed it at Robert.
"It's nothing personal, it's just business," John said
FIGHT!
(Cue Shots Fired-John Wick)
Both fighters fired their guns but both managed to dodge. Both hid behind two different shelves. John got up and fired two more bullets but they didn't hit Robert.
"Come on John," Robert said. "Can't we just settle this like civilized citizens?"
"Do I look civilized to you?" John said.
"No actually. That's probably why you became a hitman."
"Got that right," John said.
"Well then," Robert said. He quickly moved from behind the shelf he was hiding behind. John noticed and quickly fired more bullets. They missed and Robert decided to return the favor and fired more bullets at John. One managed to John in the arm.
"Ow!" John yelled. Robert tried to fire another bullet, but he heard a clicking sound. He ran out of bullets. Robert dropped the Glock 26 and quickly ran down an aisle. John walked over to his Glock 26 and picked it up. He holstered his Glock 26 and began to run down the same aisle Robert did. John attempted to fire a bullet but he heard a click. His Heckle & Koch P30L had ran out of bullets. John charged at Robert at full speed. Robert looked back and saw John charging. In Robert's perception, time began to slow down. He observed John's muscle movements and anticipated his moves.
"I should be done with this part in about 13 seconds," Robert said. He turned on his watch timer. "One 1000th. Two 1000th..." Robert said as he walked towards John. John threw a punch but Robert caught it. Robert hit John in the neck with his elbow and then kicked him in the leg, causing John to fall unto the ground. Robert tried to stomp on John's body but John quickly grabbed Robert's leg and took him down. Robert laying on the floor, John got up. John pulled out his Coharie Arms CA-415. He aimed it at Robert laying on the ground.
"Sleep tight," John said. Robert quickly knocked John back unto the ground. He ran as fast as he could to get out of the aisle they were fighting on. John got up and fired bullets from his assault rifle. One bullet hit Robert's leg as he was turning left out of the aisle. John ran down the aisle to get Robert, but by the time he got there, he was gone. John took a break to care for his wound. Meanwhile Robert was caring for his leg wound. When he was done, he went to the Home Mart light switches. He turned off all of the lights, leaving Home Mart a dark building. John was not afraid.
(Cue Vengeance-Zack Hemsey) "Come on out Robert!" John yelled. John walked through the building looking and searching for Robert. He heard foot steps and followed them. "Where are you?" John thought to himself. He then felt something when he was walking. He looked down and saw he was standing in dirt. "Is this...dirt?" John wondered. He quickly noticed a bag of dirt fall to the ground and barb wiring falling down his way. John quickly fell unto the floor. "Did he just...try to hang me with a barb wire?" He looked up and saw Robert standing on a shelf.
"Dang. He avoided the trap," Robert said to himself. John fired bullets from his assualt rifle at Robert but he missed. Robert quickly ran into the shadows. John got up. He tried to follow Robert but he lost track of him.
"Will you stop running from me?" John said. Before John could realize, he was hit with a nail. "OW!" John yelled. He saw Robert coming from out of the corner with a nail gun. John got up and ripped the nail out of his arm. Robert fired another nail but John dodged it. Robert fired another and hit John, but John ripped it out. Robert kept getting closer and closer, firing more and more later. About a couple of nail shootings and nail rippings later, Robert was face to face with John. He tried to fire another nail, but he was out. John pulled his assualt rifle at Robert. "You're empty," John said.
"So are you," Robert said. John attempted to fire his gun but it was empty.
"Well then," John said. "Guess it's time to get brutal." John pulled out his knife.
(Cue Divine Identity - Shin Megami Tensei Digital Devil Saga 2)
John striked Robert but Robert grabbed his hand and disarmed him. Robert quickly picked up the knife. Robert tried to stab John but he dodged and then grabbed Robert's hand. John observed the situation. He knew just what to do. He pulled Robert's arm towards himself, impaling himself with the knife. John then broke Robert's arm. Robert screamed in pain. John ripped out the knife and stabbed Robert in the chest, and then the neck. John delivered one final blow. He stabbed Equalizer in the throat. John walked off.
"Glad that's done."
K.O!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Oh my.
Wiz: This fight was actually a pretty close one. Both were extremely skilled in hand to hand combat due to their training. Robert was more cunning and John was more ruthless. Both go straight for the kill and both can use the environment to their advantage. Both had stealth and both could disarm each other thanks to their training also. Also, it's difficult to say who has more experience in their fields since that information was never given in the movies.
Boomstick: So what gave the Wick the win?
Wiz: There were a couple of factors that gave Wick the win. First off, John Wick has shaken off deadly wounds much easier than Robert has and he carries a larger amount of deadly weapons on his side, while Robert doesn't really carry a weapon with him.
Boomstick: Also Wick is way more determined than Robert is when it comes to fighting.
Wiz: And finally, even though Robert can anticipate movements, John is not exactly known for being predictable. He's a very unorthodox fighter and could catch Robert off guard.
Boomstick: I mean that guard with the goofy mustache did it, so I assume someone like John Wick could too. This fight was WICKed
Wiz: The winner is John Wick