This is a What-If? Death Battle by featuring John Cena and Tina Armstrong.
| John Cena vs Tina Armstrong | |
|---|---|
| Season 1, Episode 6 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | 2/16/2021 |
| Written by | RohgeKiller |
| Directed by | RohgeKiller |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Sadira vs Mileena | Count Dooku vs Cinder Fall |
Note from the writer[]
RohgeKiller:
I normally use gifs to help give newer readers a glimpse of the combatants abilities, and also because its fun and visually pleasing to make them. Unfortunately, every gif I tried to make was 'to large' in file size to be uploaded, and the ones I was finding online, especially for Tina, weren't that great.
So I apologize this time around and hopefully will be able to resolve this issue and update it accordingly in the future. Until then I will be leaving links to videos in each characters bio so you can get an idea of who they are, assuming you don't already know. This won't make a difference in outcome or anything, but I thought I'd address it anyway.
With that said, hope you enjoy.
Prelude[]
Boomstick: You know who makes me want to pull out the olé' chain gun leg and mow down a few empty beer bottles in a fit of rage?
Wiz: Last I checked, a lot of people.
Boomstick: It’s those ‘‘wrestling is fake’’ people you find on reddit. Well Star Wars is fake, and you still love it. And you can love some sci-fi action adventure with dismemberment abound, then I can love watching someone get suplexed 20 times in a row.
Wiz: Are you done, or is there more to your segway?
Boomstick: Wait, we’re recording now?
Wiz: (Sigh) John Cena, the Dr. of Thuganomics.
(Trumpet noises)
Boomstick: And Tina Armstrong, the Superstar of a Thousand Dreams.
No relation to Senator Armstrong
Wiz: I’m Wiz and he’s Boomstick, and today we’re looking at the strength, speed and skill of these two professional wrestlers to find out who would win a Death Battle!
John Cena[]
Boomstick: And here we go...Wiz, wake me up when this ones over.
Wiz: Wha-oh, you don’t like Joh-
Boomstick: Don’t even say his name! That monster ruined wrestling for me.
Wiz: Well, one of us has to do this I guess. John Felix Anthony Cena Jr. was born in the small town of West Newbury Massachusetts.
Boomstick: Wait! Jr? THERE’S TWO OF THEM!
Wiz: Anyway! Ever since he was child, the young Cena was born to be a champion. He became an All-American center in college football and a bodybuilder shortly after.
Boomstick: I’ll admit, he rocks that six pack.
Background[]
- Height: 6'1''
- Weight: 251lbs.
- Age: 43
- Occupation: Professional Wrestler, Actor
- (Invisible joke here)
Wiz: But his greatest achievements were yet to come. You see the man who couldn’t be seen was always a wrestling fan, and just waiting for the opportunity to step into the squared-circle. And after a few hiccups in OVW, he was accidentally discovered by one Stephanie McMahon while rapping on a bus. And soon after, Cena officially started his professional wrestling career in 2002 as the arrogant, white rapper that would soon evolve into the John Cena we know today.
Boomstick: Ohhhh, its awful. The colors, the pandering to children, the way he somehow always wins….Wiz, just put me out of my misery already.
Wiz: Not until our series finale Boomstick. But it is true that Cena has racked up quite a few critics over the years for his sudden and massive push to the top of the card. So big in fact that he was main eventing Wrestlemania within 3 years of debuting, and was facing the likes of Triple-H, Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker.
Boomstick: Lets not forget all those promising careers he squashed to remain on the top of the card. Who you may ask?, well, that's a long list. But if I put my personal bias out for one fleeting second, I guess I can say that if there is one thing John was always good at, it was having good matches.
Abilities[]
- Inhuman levels of stamina
- Manages to kick out of most finishing moves
- Rarely if ever quits or taps out
- Super Cena (Basically unbeatable, especially if a title is on the line)
Strength[]
- Once stopped a boulder from crushing the mystery gang (yes, that happened)
- Deadlifted 602 lbs.
- Once lifted both Big Show and Edge on his back
Special Moves[]
- Diving Leg Drop
- Clothesline
- Sixth Move of Doom
- Shoulder Block+Spin-out Powerbomb
- Springboard Stunner
- One Hand Bulldog
- Five Knuckle Shuffle (Signature)
- STF (Finishing Move)
- Attitude Adjustment (Finishing Move)
Wiz: It certainly helps that Cena is what you could call an ‘all rounder’ since he seems to have a little bit of everything in his arsenal. Power moves like the spin-out powerbomb, snap suplex or shoulder tackle. But he’s also not afraid to get creative with moves like the Springboard Stunner, Superplex, and of course, the 6 Moves of Doom, including the Attitude Adjustment, which is considered one of the most powerful finishers in wrestling history.
Boomstick: To put it into perspective, Cena wins with the AA 81% of the time. Mr. Colorful knows only 5 moves, and yet somehow he always finds a way to come out on top. I don’t understand it.
Wiz: Well if you don’t want to call it plot armor, Cena's most applicable qualities are his unending endurance, strength and durability. No matter what situation he’s in, be it in a steel cage, an IQuit Match, or just outnumbered, Cena always finds that extra boost of energy.
Boomstick: The man is durable alright. He’s taken multiple chair shots, been handcuffed, stabbed in a nightclub (yes that happened) had his head caved into the concrete, and has kicked out of so many finishing moves that on anyone else would have been the end.
Wiz: It also helps that the champ is undeniably powerful. He’s lifted the likes of the Big Show, Mark Henry and Brawn Strowman on his back. He can deadlift over 600 pounds, break handcuffs with his bare hands, and at one point was able to stop an entire boulder from crushing the mystery gang.
Boomstick: I don’t even know anymore Wiz. This guy is basically the human equivalent of superman.
Wiz: Well he has fought some very powerful opponents, including Kane and Mark Henry, who can both rip steel doors off their hinges. He’s fought Brock Lesnar who once F5vd a bull shark, and most notably, ended the Undertaker's Streak. The fact that John was able to last a minute with Brock is an absolute feat in and of itself and it’s no wonder the man is so successful. He’s held the WWE championship a record 16 times, a 2 time Royal Rumble winner, 5 time United States champion, and is currently one of the federations most profitable superstars.
Feats[]
- Defeated Brock Lesnar, The Rock, Randy Orton, CM Punk, Triple H, Big Show, Edge, Bray Wyatt...
- 16 time world champion
- 2 time Royal Rumble winner
- Can actually deadlift 602 lbs.
- Has buried so many promising wrestlers
- Lifted 400+ pound men like Big Show and Mark Henry
- Managed to push back a boulder to save the mystery gang
Faults[]
- Lost to a near retired Undertaker in less than 3 minutes
- Defeated by Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, The Rock, AJ Styles, and others
- Can be overwhelmed by multiple/stronger opponents
- Was 'erased' by the Fiend
Boomstick: And now onto my favorite part. Burying John Cena!
Wiz: You’ve been doing that for the last 5 minutes.
Boomstick: Olé Mr. Colorful may be strong, but he can be overpowered and isn’t exactly the most technical of wrestlers. Also, he can clearly be seen! He’s not invisible, regardless of what those memes suggest.
Wiz: While he is easily one of the most successful superstars of his era, John does suffer from the ‘random jobber loss’ syndrome that plagues many top-tier wrestlers. He’s had his fair share of losses to people like CM Punk, The Rock, AJ Styles, and arguably his most infamous from The Undertaker, who defeated him at Wrestlemania 34 in under 3 minutes.
Boomstick: I have that match on replay in my bedroom whenever I want to lull myself to sleep.
Wiz: Regardless of his losses and however many critics he has, hopefully none like Boomstick, the Leader of the C-nation is without a doubt a divisive figure in wrestling. No matter the odds or whoever he’s facing, John Cena can always be counted on to give the audience an experience they’ll never forget.
''You may have that, but until you beat me, you're nothing.''-Cena to Triple H.
Tina Armstrong[]
Boomstick: Bass Armstrong! The greatest wrestler who ever lived...at least in his respective universe. My money is still on Brock Lesnar.
Wiz: Armstrong is definitely worthy of that title. He was an undisputed world champion and was undefeated for most of his career. So there was definitely a high bar when it came to his daughter, Tina Armstrong.
Boomstick: Unlike another wrestler we just talked about (cough) Tina was born to be a wrestler and had been trained by her legendary father since she was a child. She achieved success throughout her teenage years and wanted to become a champion just like her dear old dad.
Background[]
- Height: 5’8’’
- Weight: 123lbs
- Age: 24
- Occupation: Professional Wrestler, Dancer, Model, Actor,
- The ‘original’ busty blonde
Wiz: However, she didn’t exactly become a wrestler for the glory of the fight or to make her dad proud. Rather she wanted to become a famous actress, a model, a music star...pretty much everything other than a famous wrestler. And there was no place better than the Dead or Alive Tournament.
Boomstick: Needless to say, her papa wasn’t exactly happy about her ambitions and has attempted to stop her on multiple occasions, and usually ends up with his face on the mat. This has led to an on again, off again relationship that only now seems to be piecing itself back together. Forget The Last of Us, this is the ultimate father/daughter story!
Wiz: Young, determined and filled with the dreams of becoming a Hollywood star, Tina Armstrong is one thing if not resilient and regardless of her goals, was ready to join the Dead or Alive roster. She has been an active member of the tournament since the very first one, and has competed in an assortment of different locations and challenges in order to gain notoriety. This includes fighting a variety of deadly combatants... not Mortal Kombat deadly but certainly powerful.
Boomstick: Its more like Street Fighter except everyone knows karate.
Abilities[]
- Very adaptable in the ring
- Unnaturally strong for her size
- Manages to win most of her fights through shear power
Strength[]
- Can match her father, Bass, who once stopped a collapsing pillar.
- Casually powerbombs people larger than her
Special Moves[]
- Taunting (Yes, that's a move)
- Discus Clothesline
- Dropkick
- Moonsault
- Texas Driver
- Diamond Cutter
- G.T.S.
- Diving Crossbody
- Shotgun Kick
- Rolling Headlock (Notable)
- Death Valley Bomb (Notable)
- Triangle Leg Lock
- Hammerlock DDT
- German Suplex (Notable)
Wiz: Tina’s fighting style is similar to her fathers, but relies more on solid strikes and footwork, since she is nowhere near as strong as Bass. But it's not wise to discredit her strength since she is still very much a grappler who can perform powerful throws and power moves on people much larger than her. Its even been stated in an official handbook that she often carries large stones to the top of steep hills during training.
Boomstick: And she’s got plenty of moves that she learned from her dad. While she doesn’t really have a traditional ‘finishing’ move, she does have some incredibly powerful slams and takedowns. My personal favorites are the Death Valley Driver, the Double Powerbomb, and the German Suplex. But don’t be mistaken, she knows so much more.
Wiz: She’s also well versed in submissions like the Cloverleaf and the Romero Special, which are perfect for weakening an opponents stamina. Being an Armstrong, she physically dominates most of the competition.
Boomstick: But what's often overlooked is how much of an all-rounder she is in combat. She's not as fast as Mila or Leifang, but can keep up when she needs to. She's not as strong as Rig or Bass, but is powerful enough to keep them on their toes, but arguably her greatest weapon is her sex appeal...No, I'm not kidding.
Wiz: It's true. She often uses her own voluptuous charm to her advantage against male and female opponents. Men who often get distracted and women who become insecure about how they look. All that and more has lead to her defeating her own father on numerous occasions and taking down the likes Rig, Lisa Hamilton, Sarah Bryant, and Mila.
Boomstick: She can even challenge Leifang, using a losing effort, who can break rocks with a single palm strike. And there was that one time her father stopped an entire pillar from collapsing, now we're not saying she's as strong as Bass, but you can defiantly see the genetics. I mean, she casually fights people much larger than her and usually wins. You’d think this would earn her the moniker of Greatest Wrestler of all time... Except for one tiny issue.
Feats[]
- Defeated Honoka, Mila, Zack, Sarah, Rig...
- Defeated her father, Bass Armstrong, multiple times
- Lifted and threw a solid boulder
- Can lift and throw people as large as her father
- Fought off a group of pirates
- Can challenge the likes of Lei Fang and Rig in strength
- Is said to be the most balanced fighter in the Tournament
Faults[]
- Has yet to win any major tournament (even forfeited the first)
- Is more concerned about fame than actual skill
- A jack of trades, but doesn’t excel in many categories
Wiz: Unfortunately, for all her skill in the ring she has yet to win any major DOA Tournament, or really any championship. She was supposed to be in the final round of the first tournament, but fortified to Kasumi. Most of this boils down to the fact that as good of a wrestler as Tina is, she isn’t dedicated to the craft. She’d much rather bask in Hollywood and become a famous actress than become a world champion like her father.
Boomstick: All this kinda leads to the same issue every game: She wants to get back into wrestling, has to find the motivation, returns to wrestling, leaves wrestling for something else, rinse and repeat. Which gives her less experience in the ring than one might think.
Wiz: Yet despite her shortcomings, the Superstar of A Thousand Dreams has a lot to be proud of. She's dominated every profession she's ever entered and it doesn't look like she's going away any time soon. You can bet your lucky stars that this country girl will be rocking the whole wide world.
''I guess there's such a thing as being too strong.'' Win quote from DOA4
Pre-Fight[]
It was a sold out venue at the DOA Colosseum.
It wasn’t uncommon for the annual Dead or Alive tournament to draw in record highs when it came to filling an arena. But this was far beyond anyone's wildest expectations. The crowd had been rowdy the entire night as their favorite combatants tore the roof off the place with every match.
And why shouldn't they? Times were different and things were uncertain, but the wrestling never changed. It was all about one thing and one thing only: Winning. Some like Mila and Honoka were just happy to have participated even if they come up short in the end. All that mattered was that the energy was high and the crowd was electric.
Even as the final contest drew closer and closer, the excitement never stopped. In fact, you could say it only grew in intensity when the ring announcer's voice erupted from the center of the ring.
‘’Ladies and Gentlemen...The following contest is an IQuit match!’’ He said in his best Michael Buffer impression. ‘’The rules of the match are as follows: Whoever can make their opponent submit, will be THE winner of the 7th annual Dead or Alive Tournament!’’ The announcer then looked over to the entrance ramp as, from the loudspeakers came the infamous opening beat followed by a choir of trumpets.
‘’Introducing first: From West Newbury Massachusetts. Weighing 271 pounds. John, Ceeeeeeena!!!’’
Out came the 16 time world champion to a chorus of cheers and jeers from the packed arena crowd, which told the story as well as any book. John Cena was beloved, and hated all at once. But that didn't bother him nearly as much as it used to. He'd hit his stride and was now the biggest WWE wrestler of his era, who'd proven time and time again why he was 'The Champ'!
Even if the crowd was a bit hostile, it wouldn’t stop him as he faced the camera with the intensity of a bulldog before rushing to the ring.
‘’We’re going all out tonight!’’ He screamed, racing down the entrance ramp and sliding into the ring. Throwing his hat into the crowd as usual, and would have continued his routine had it not been interrupted by another infamous theme song.
‘’And his opponent! From the grand state of Texas, she is The All American Beauty! Tina, Aaaaarmstrong!’’
Once the buxom blonde made her entrance, the crowd erupted in one, unanimous cheer. Unlike Cenas entrance which was mired in decisiveness, there was no denying who the crowd wanted to win. And Miss Armstrong loved every moment of it.
''Yeah. Showtime!'' She squealed in delight as white and blue pyro went off behind her. Posing with her hands in the air and milking every moment of approval from the audience. If there was one thing you could say against the country teen, its that she was a certified glory hog at times.
She rushed to the ring just as Cena had and locked eyes with him. The two standing mere feet from one another, simply sizing each other up. The multi-time world champ in red and blue starred down his shorter opponent who returned the favor by refusing to back down. Each making it very clear that there was only one way either one was getting out of this as they turned their heads towards the DOA sign in the middle of the arena.
And the crowd was hyped.
‘’LETS GO TINA!’’
‘’CENA SUCKS!’’
Giving her opponent a cocky smirk and turning to the crowd, Tina lifted the mic to her lips and addressed Mr. Cena. ‘’Well Mr. Cena, looks like you won the privilege of being my last opponent. I must say you’re quite the impressive man, but I don’t think you’ve ever faced a woman quite like lil-ol me.’’ She said confidently, pacing in a straight line as she did. ‘’My daddy taught me well, so I do hope you can show me a good time, honey. I won’t be putting you down so gently.’’
Having picked up a mic of his own during Armstrongs entrance, Cena wasted no time in coming up with a retort. Saying ‘’Well Miss Armstrong, call I call you Tina?... Impressive is something that comes with the territory. Being a 16 time world champion doesn’t come easy after all.’’ before pulling at the top of his ‘hustle, loyalty, respect’ shirt to prove a point. Though it clearly didn't have much impact on Bass Armstrongs daughter.
‘’Riiight. All those belts and the crowd couldn’t seem to care less.’’ Tina replied, a slight pout to her lips.
‘’Crowds change, Tina. And you’ve certainly earned the respect of the fans. But all that means to me is that I’m going to give you everything that I have and more. Because personally, Tina, I don’t care who your father was.’’ The crowd gasped in shock at Cenas audacity, and Tina looked none too pleased. Letting out a small, sarcastic giggle before replying...
''I'm sorry, John. I must have misheard you.'' She growled the last vowel. The bangs above her eyes becoming more noticeable as Cena gave her a rather, funny look.
‘’No, no, I don't think you did. You see, your daddy WAS the greatest wrestler in the world. He, WAS, the man. But I ain’t fighting your daddy...'' He paused before snapping his ear in the direction of the fans, who continued chanting her name. ''Thats right...I’m fighting you, so tell me Tina? Who are you?’’ Emphasizing the word 'you' in a stone cold manner, leaving Bass Armstrong's daughter as red faced as a stick of tnt and about as volatile.
Now on the receiving end of a verbal murder, Tina bravely stepped forward and was now within inches of the man who insulted her family. ‘’Let me get this straight? Mr. Colorful, Mr. Commercial, Mr. Sellout Cena has the nerve to disgrace my daddy’s name, and dares ask his daughter who she is?’’ Her voice raised to the highest octave. Hell truly had no fury like a woman scorned.
‘’Mr. Colorful? Mr. Sellout?’’ Cena responded, raising his own voice before taking a step back to remove his ‘colorful’ clothing, throwing the shirt into the crowd. ‘’I’m sorry, but how many times have you quit wrestling to pursue such ‘profitable’ careers as: modeling for bimbo incorporated, becoming an actor on par with The Miz, making music videos while playing a fake guitar because you were to lazy to actually learn yourself!’’
The Leader of the C-Nation would have continued, had Tina not smacked his mic away. Fury and fire written all over her face as John took a step back. Dropping her own mic so only her opponent could hear her as she practically screamed. ‘’Allow me to properly introduce myself then. I’m Tina, Goddamn Armstrong! And I’m going to kick, your, ass!’’
FIGHT[]
With unnatural speed, Tina rushed Cena with open arms and Dropkicked him center mass, staggering the champ before tackling him into the corner of the ring. On instinct, Cena put his arms up to block the incoming barrage of overhead punches before being stabbed with a swift kick to the gut, leaving him open to a German Suplex, landing on his neck.
The opening sequence not exactly going in John's favor.
Opening his eyes just in time to avoid a boot to the face, rolling into his feet and tossing the female superstar into the ropes. Armstrong thought she knew what was coming and ducked under Cenas arm, only to meet a Clothesline on the rebound.
She rolled to her feet, using the momentum, and raised her knee to strike Cena in the chest. Following up with a couple of blows to the abdomen before charging him with closed fists.
Only to collide with the brick wall that was John Cenas bicep, which wrapped around her wrist while he pummeled her with the other. She attempted to throw him over her shoulder, only to find herself in that exact position before being thrown to the mat with a Hip Toss.
Looking to end the match early, the WWE superstar pulled his female opponent by her feet to the center of the ring and applied the STF. Wrapping his arms around her neck in a brutal chokehold.
‘’You gotta be kidding me?’’ The blonde said, seemingly unfazed by the hold, much to the champs confusion. ‘’You think you can make me tap? Oh, please.’’ Tina joked as she gripped Cenas hand and pulled it away from her face, breaking the hold and allowing her to roll under John's legs as he stood.
With surprising strength, Tina lifted Cena onto her shoulders and delivered a brutal Death Valley Bomb. It wasn’t every day that Cena was matched or even outclassed in strength, but this was certainly one of those cases. ‘’That didn’t go well.’’ Cena said to himself as he rolled onto his feet, hands up as Tina unleashed kick after kick on his midsection.
Try as he might, the champ was nowhere near as quick as his opponent. And so One Leg Sweep and Two Powerbombs followed up with a Spinning Splash left the American Beauty on top for the moment. Cena gripped his abdomen and rolled onto his side before being socked in the nose with a powerful boot.
The blow caused Cena’s nose to burst with blood that ran down his face and chin. All the while Miss Armstrong merely gloated from above.
‘’Good thing this ain’t a first blood match, huh John?’’ Before she could set him up for another drop, the 16 time world champion slid off her shoulders and retaliated with a Chop Block to take the female superstar off her feet before rushing to the ropes. Tina hopped to her feet and leapfrogged over Cena as he charged, who surprised her by jumping off the ropes for a Springboard Stunner.
Taking a page from his old rival Kurt Angle, he grabbed the prone diva just as she fell to the mat by her foot, wrenching it with an Ankle Lock that on anyone else would have been game over. But Tina wasn’t anyone else, she was the greatest women's wrestler of her time and instinctively rolled forward to break the hold, taking John with her.
His head collided with the ring-post with a ‘ding’ before eating a Discus Clothesline, courtesy of the American Beauty.
One dirty Low Blow later and the leader of the C-nation was on his knees. Bloodied from the face down and in a lot of pain. Not that Miss Armstrong seemed to mind as she rounded the ropes and prepared to send Cena packing with her Saddle Crash.
‘’Here I come! Rock and…’’ She lept backwards, ass forward to be precise and would have smashed the Champs face in, had he not seen it coming. He raised his arms and caught her mid air, raised her up even higher before performing an Atomic Drop that more than made the blondes behind sore. ‘’Ow, you’re asking for it!’’ She shouted as Cena rose to his feet, wiping his nose.
An attempted Superkick by the female superstar was caught, and by now the Champ was more than ready to make his adversary pay after an Irish Whip into the turnbuckle.
Cena started his comeback hot: Two Shoulder Blocks, a missed punch from Tina, a Spin-Out Powerbomb, the nine yards. He raised his hand into the air after slamming Tina to the mat, giving her the ‘U can’t See Me’ hand before crashing down with a Five Knuckle Shuffle before taking a second to taunt the dazed Armstrong.
Tina was seeing stars as she rose to her feet, completely aware that Cena was right behind her, hands on his knees and waiting for her to turn around. He raised her onto his shoulders and gave a smirk of confidence to the camera, which soon became a look of shock as Tina swiftly got out of his grasp and hit the Diamond Cutter.
‘’Not just yet, Honey!’’ Tina said before rolling onto Cenas back and locking her foot between his shoulder blades, grabbing his wrists and pulling them up. The dreaded Romero Special submission was locked in, and Cena was in a world of pain. Shaking his head in agony as his back cracked and popped.
When he thought it couldn’t be more painful, she released the hold and maneuvered him into a Bow and Arrow, further putting the pressure on his injured shoulders.
‘’Go on champ, say uncle!’’ Tina demanded, tightening the hold on her opponent who shook his head in defiance. ‘’I said…’’ She growled, releasing the hold and locking him in a Headlock, hoping to at the very least make the 16 time champion pass out. ‘’SAY UNCLE!”
But Cena wouldn’t comply. Rather he bit his lip and used his remaining strength to roll over onto his knees, and began to stand. Relieving the pressure on his neck. With Tina now on his back, he displayed his power by grabbing her by the legs and swinging her forward and into his arms for another Spin-Out Powerbomb.
With his opponent down, the champ saw his opportunity and rolled under the bottom rope and landed outside the ring. Miss Armstrong cracked her back and noticed Cena retreating to the outside. ‘’Oh no you don’t!’’ She mumbled to herself before jumping to her feet and sliding under the rope on the other end of the ring.
Sprinting from one end to the other, she hopped off the ring steps and dived at her opponent with a leaping Crossbody.
Unfortunately this is exactly what John was hoping for and when she collided with him, he rolled backwards with her in his arms and heaved the buxom blonde onto his shoulders to deliver a massive Attitude Adjustment on the stone rampway. Taking both of them out for a moment as the crowd exploded.
Tina's neck and back collided with the stone and left a gash on the back of her head that left her feeling as dizzy as a hamster in a runaway wheel. The country girl had perhaps bitten off more than she could chew.
Cena on the other hand was nearly spent. It took everything he had to counter the blondes suicide dive and in the end it hurt him just as much.
And to top it off: The PayPerView was running past its time slot. Now they were both doing overtime.
The champ was the first to get to his feet after leaning on one of the barricades, albeit very slowly and aware of his injuries. With Tina still on the ground, grabbed the blonde by her hair in an attempt to throw her into the ring.
And then something unexpected happened.
Rushing down the entrance ramp and straight for him was a small woman, dressed in red boxing gear. And by the time Cena registered what was going on, he was already on the floor after being nailed by a solid punch to the jaw. The sponsor of that right hook was none other than Mila. Another competitor and one of Tina's best friends. She’d unfortunately lost her qualifying match earlier in the day and was now dead set on making the save for her mentor. And Armstrong was just as perturbed as Cena.
‘’Mila! What in Sam Hill are you doing here? This is my match.’’ She said, rubbing her head and leaning against the barricade. Still bleeding from the scape on her neck.
‘’Helping you, dummy.’’ She replied, offering her hand to the blonde to her feet. Before Tina could accept it, a shadow flew over her head as from the crowd, came the Phenomenal one, AJ Styles.
He leapt over the barricade and struck the red boxer with a flying forearm that knocked her to the pavement, much to the confusion of both Tina and John. AJ was WWE and all, but why would he come to Cenas aid? At least Mila was Tina's friend.
‘’I ain’t doing this for you, Cena!’’ Styles said as he stood next to the world champ. More than ready to even the odds as Tina brought Mila to her feet. Both sporting some color on the roofs of their heads by this point.
And from there, things only got more crowded. Wrestler after wrestler made their way to the ring from the entrance ramp to the crowd, aiming to help their respective brand members. Soon enough the ring was filled with wrestlers, all standing on either side and just waiting for someone to make a move. On one side were the DOA originals: Zack, Mila, Sarah, Rig and Kasumi, with Tina leading the charge. On the other end were the WWE stars: Edge, AJ Styles, Ronda Rousey, Becky Lynch and John Cena at the front lines.
Each one seemingly coming to the aid of their main eventers, despite all the differences between them. The best of DOA and WWE all in one ring. Ready to finish what was already a colossal main event.
But someone was missing.
The music of one Bass Armstrong erupted from the loudspeakers and sure enough, out came the former undisputed champion to a massive ovation. Red faced and hopping mad.
And for once, Tina was actually glad he interfered in her match.
‘’Oh, pops.’’ She muttered to herself. Her father wasted no time posing for the crowd, which of course they popped big for, and made his way to the center of the ring. Standing proudly next to his flesh and blood, Mr. Armstrong threw his jacket aside and stared daggers into Cenas soul. Having heard every little thing the face of WWE had said about him.
‘’What’d you gotta say now, Champ?’’ He shouted, punching his fists together as the WWE superstars held their ground. Even as it seemed that this wouldn’t end well for them.
And then…
The lights went out just after the sound of that infamous ‘gong’ echoed off the walls. With it possibly came the biggest pop from the crowd since the match first started. The floodlights came back on not a moment after to reveal the arrival of The Undertaker. Standing directly across from Bass, taped fists and all.
He gave his signature throat slash and struck the senior Armstrong in the jaw, resulting in the rest of the superstars getting involved. Soon enough it was a brawl of monstrous proportions. Clotheslines were thrown, Chokeslams were abound, A Spear by Edge to Zack, a Knockout Punch from Mila to Lynch, and of course someone had to dive off the ropes.
Out from the cluster came both Armstrong and Cena, who had slipped out from the bottom rope and fought their way to the entrance ramp once again. Brawling to the top of the ramp with the Champ taking control with a powerful Clothesline. Fully invigorated, he hoisted the younger Armstrong onto his shoulders. Only for Tina to get desperate and, upon fighting her way out of the hold, nailed Cena with one more Low Blow, resulting in him falling forward onto Tina's shoulders.
Carrying her male counterpart to the center of the steel plated entrance ramp, intent on driving her opponents head through the ground with a Death Valley Driver and ending this match for good. ‘’Time to rock your world!’’
But Cena had no intention of doing the job on this night, and slipped off Armstrongs back, pulled her arm over his neck instead, and performed a Snap Suplex onto the metal ramp. Feeling the metal bend under the impact.
Miss Armstrong had very little time for a comeback before Cena was on his feet, crossing his arms for the Sixth Move of Doom just as Tina turned and struck her square in the neck. This caused what could best be described as a mini seizure for the female wrestler. Her face contorted in pain before she was hauled onto Cenas shoulders.
‘’Say uncle?’’ Cena asked the limp blonde, who shook her bloodied head against his shoulder. Unable to vocalize thanks to her bludgeoned throat. ‘’You sure? Alright!’’ He said before throwing her off his shoulders for the last time with an emphatic AA. From the entrance ramp and down several feet into the tables placed unusually at the bottom. The tables collapsed under the pressure, breaking the boards beneath Tina's body and subsequently, her body itself.
From the top of the ramp, Cena watched as the fighting slowly died out in the ring, with everyone either laid out or weakly attempting to continue. With only Bass and The Undertaker still ready to go as they simply stared each other down.
Suddenly the lights in the arena flickered and flashed before going out completely. Blackening the entire arena with a low, electronic hum.
Until the power restored itself and with it, gone were the rest of the wrestlers as if they were never there to begin with. And soon after that came the familiar trumpets of Cena's theme music over the loudspeakers. With the screens of the titantron reading ‘Winner: John Cena!’....much to the chagrin of most of the audience.
As for Cena, he was simply glad it was over. Walking back to the center of the ramp before raising his arms in victory, his head looked at the camera as he closed the show.
‘’These cameos are getting out of hand.’’
Results[]
John Cena
- + Stronger and more durable
- + Greater endurance
- + Fought in a wider variety of matches
- + Greater 1v1 record overall
- = Refuses to quit
- - Not as fast
- - Not willing to play dirty
Tina Armstrong
- + Greater variety of moves
- + Better submissionist
- + Faster and more acrobatic
- = Refuses to quit
- - Not as durable or as strong
- - Less 1v1 wins under her belt
- - Generally not as successful
Boomstick: Wow, look at that. Cena puts down another promising wrestler… who’d have thought?
Wiz: This fight was rather straightforward in most respects. Armstrong and Cena had clear advantages over the other and the longer the fighting went on, the faster they were able to capitalize. But only one was truly capable of doing so.
Boomstick: As much as I hate to admit it, Cena had the edge where it counted… not the wrestler named Edge, the factor.
Wiz: Tina was much faster and more athletic than John, and she was excellent at power holds and submissions. Though good luck getting Cena of all people to submit. But if she played her cards right she could have taken advantage of the fact that her arsenal far outnumbered Johns six moves of doom. And yet, she didn’t really have anything that could put the 16 time world champ down for the count.
Boomstick: Remember, Cena was usually always green in the ring, and yet he outlasted people like Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle, the latter of the two was an actual Olympic gold medalist.
Wiz: Durability wise, it's no contest. Tina is certainly no pushover but just go watch any IQuit match that involves Cena. Spoiler: He wins. Strength was also a key factor, but not by too much considering both have outwrestled opponents much larger and stronger than them.
Boomstick: But Wiz, what about that pillar that Bass was able to stop from falling? Shouldn’t that weigh much more than the boulder Cena pushed off the cliff?
Wiz: While Bass is certainly strong enough to stop that pillar, there's little evidence to suggest that his daughter could. While she can match him in strength for a time, it's made very clear that Tina is nowhere near as strong as her father. Plus, it's not as if Bass’s intention was ever to severely harm his daughter, so he wouldn’t need to use his full strength anyway.
Boomstick: Tina was able to toss a smaller boulder at Lei Fang. Given this was on a beach, we can assume it was made of sandstone. By comparing its size to Tina’s height and width, we can assume this weighs around 220 lbs.
Wiz: Wow Boomstick, I didn’t expect you to know that.
Boomstick: If there's one thing I know Wiz, aside from guns and which beer is better with breakfast and which one is better with dinner, it's rocks. I’ve been hit with a lot of those.
Wiz: Well as you can imagine, Cena’s boulder feat is much stronger as that would have been at least 3 tons of solid stone. But let's assume we don’t use that feat because it was from a scooby-doo crossover. Well, Cena can deadlift over 600 lbs and lift both the Big Show and Edge on his back. Which is already way more than Bass Armstrongs weight, and that petty little rock combined.
Boomstick: The problem here wasn’t that Tina isn’t a good wrestler, it's just that John is a more consistent and experienced one. I mean look at Tina's record: She enters the tournaments just to be seen by some Hollywood watchdogs and then peaces out until next year. Meanwhile, Cenas been a constant thorn in my side for almost 20 years, and has won more championships and fought opponents even tougher than Tina.
Wiz: And as for Cenas 3 minute loss to an aging Undertaker, well, as we’ve discussed before The Deadman is on a whole other level. And if we wanna compare losses, John's defeat to the Undertaker isn’t as crucial as, say, Tina losing to an inexperienced Mila in her first real match. Its a case of one mans life vs another's dream. One has already been achieved.
Boomstick: I hate to say it but, #cenawinslol
The Winner is John Cena
Artwork and Music[]
Next Time[]
Trivia[]
- This is my second fight that includes wrestlers: The first being Freddy Krueger vs. The Undertaker
- This fight would most likely be in 3d with Tinas model being her newest one from DOA6 and John Cenas from one of the 2K games
- All signature wrestling moves are labeled in Bold for reading convenience
- Both are ‘professional wrestlers’ who are often considered one of the faces of their respective organizations.
- Cena is known as ‘’good match john’’ for his ability to have great matches with anyone, while Tina is considered to be the most well rounded fighter in the DOA series.
- They both spent their respective childhoods wanting to be wrestlers (Both of their parents are involved in the business in one way or another)
- Cena and Tina are both very passionate and patriotic about America
- Both have been subject to numerous criticisms regarding their style of fighting, how they look and act, etc.