Jimmy Hopkins vs Miss Trunchbull is a What-If? Death Battle by GoCommitDi, featuring Jimmy Hopkins from Bully and Miss Trunchbull from Matilda in a battle between tough, imposing school-related figures who have basically been relegated to putting others in line, albeit in completely different ways.
Description[]
Bully vs Matilda! School can be a prison for children when the teachers are no good, and if you dare to talk back to them, they will turn it into a school of hard knocks by giving you cruel and unusual punishment. Well, there's always that one kid who isn't afraid of standing up to them for the greater good, and there's certainly always that one mean ol' teacher everybody rightfully hates. In a battle to the death between the two contrasting figures, which one will prevail?
Intro[]
Patchy: School is a way of preparing youth for the real world where they will take on bigger responsibilities and gain independence, but it's not so easy. You're stuck there for the next thirteen years of your life, learning useless stuff like how to play the recorder instead of, you know, paying taxes.
Potty: You have to catch the bus on time each morning, you get surrounded by bullies that teachers do nothing about, you have to sit still while doing hard work for about seven hours a day, and there will hardly be anybody you can trust.
Patchy: These powerful and dangerous school-related characters aren't afraid to challenge these curriculums by putting others in line, but there's a catch to it - they go about them in complete opposite ways.
Potty: One is a misunderstood, troubled student with a heart of gold who beats up bullies and stands up to corrupt teachers to prevent them from preying on weak students who can't stand up for themselves, and the other is a sadistic principal who will gladly beat up innocent children for the hell of it and make her peers' lives extremely miserable.
Patchy: Jimmy Hopkins, the unexpected hero of the worst school in the country who, contrary to popular belief, doesn't look up for trouble, but won't blink if it ever catches up to him.
Potty: Agatha Trunchbull, the intimidating principal of Crunchem Hall Elementary School who takes pride in terrifying and tormenting her students. Man, she's got issues!
Patchy: I'm Patchy the Pirate, and he's Potty the Parrot.
Potty: And it's our job to analyze weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win...a Death Battle.
Jimmy Hopkins Schools DEATH BATTLE![]
Patchy: You know how private schools are way better than public ones? 'Cus of better discipline and other fancy shmancy stuff? Well, that's not what Bullworth Academy is. It's the worst school in the country.
Potty: Run by Dr. Crabblesnitch and located in New Hampshire, it's like a prison for kids. The alumni consists of arms dealers, serial killers and corporate lawyers. There are prefects who take pride in beating children, the health practices don't exist, the gym teacher is a pedo, there's no other school in town, and most of all, bullying is extremely rampant here.
Patchy: 15-year-old Jimmy Hopkins - who does not look like a 15-year-old - was dropped off here so that his rich, asshole parents could go on a honeymoon for a whole year. Safe to say the only one getting some love in his family was his mom.
Potty: No kidding, she's been married five times!
Patchy: Not only that, but Jimmy has been expelled from seven different schools for repeated acts of violence, vandalism, disrespecting staff, and according to small talk, arson.
Potty: With Bullworth being his final chance in avoiding juvenile detention, surely you'd think the school year would be easy for him, right? Yeah, no. This is a video game after all.
Patchy: Jimmy already knew about the school's reputation before he was sent there, but then he saw the bigger picture once he saw how bad the bullying was here. There were plenty of cliques on campus - snobby Preps, tough-guy wannabe Greasers, steroid-fueled Jocks, and Bullies who prey on the weaker and sneaky Nerds. They all had rivalries that never seemed to end.
Potty: His solution to bringing peace? Well, Jimmy couldn't just politely tell the cliques to stop being so violent, so he had to beat them up, including their leaders, as a way of showing he's tougher than everybody so that they could stop bullying helpless students. But it's a bit more complicated than that.
Patchy: See, there was a totally friendly and wholesome guy Jimmy befriended on his first day, called Gary Smith. Generic name, we know, but Gary's a psychotic bastard. I mean, just look at him.
Potty: Hell, listen to him not even five minutes after he introduces himself to Jimmy. He already ends up explaining his Joker origin story.
Patchy: Gary wasn't the only friend Jimmy made. Pete Kowalski was the polar opposite of both Gary and Jimmy, as he was shy and kept to himself. But similarly to them, Pete was intelligent in his own right.
Potty: Gary guided Jimmy through his first few days at the hellhole of a school, but he eventually betrayed him after he stopped taking his meds. Gary locked him in a cage against the strongest student in the school, Russell, which was like fighting a bear!
Patchy: Not like that was enough to defeat Jimmy, because by beating Russell, he cleared his name as a 'new kid'. Jimmy would move on to take out the rest of the cliques to stop the bullying. Once he got to the Jocks, Jimmy became the king of the school. All was going well, until Gary framed him for awful acts, such as infesting the library with rats, burning the gym, and smashing up the Preps' trophies.
Potty: Jimmy couldn't just punch his way out of this way. Not a lot of people were believing his innocence, which resulted in his expulsion.
Patchy: He decided enough was enough. With help from Russell, he broke into the hideout of a bunch of dropout students since they were the culprits. Edgar, the leader, admitted Gary was up to this, and soon enough, Gary caused the school to break out into a riot. I wish school was that exciting!
Potty: Well, by stopping the school riot, Jimmy needed what you don't have: balls. He had to calm down the cliques and fight Gary on the school's roof! But Jimmy lived to tell the tale; Gary's defeat meant Bullworth was brought to peace. Oh yeah, and he got a girlfriend.
Patchy: Since we compared Russell to a bear, let's just say Jimmy is impossibly strong for a human - stronger than a bear, even. By defeating Russell, it means Jimmy scales above Russell's feat of driving through a pile of explosives and laughing it off with minimal burns! The explosion was powerful enough to level a metal gate, yielding in 4.18 MegaJoules.
Potty: And that's not the only thing Russell is capable of. The guy can crack concrete, bash open a locked gate with his head, and lift a grown man with one hand!
Patchy: However, the funny part about the explosion feat is there's a feat higher than that, and it doesn't involve explosives.
Potty: During gameplay, Jimmy can pulverize marble columns with his punches alone, which is 7 MegaJoules.
Patchy: But those aren't the only objects he can completely destroy. He can do the same with almost every interactable item in the game. From windows, to tables, to gravestones, to giant potted plants, to TVs, and even toilets. Never thought I'd say that last part. Oh yeah, and while he can't flat-out demolish them, he can smash up cars as well.
Potty: Unsurprisingly, Jimmy beats up Bullworth's students on a daily basis. The average student can survive being hit by cars and the go-kart, the latter of which can reach 50 miles per hour.
Patchy: Oh yeah, one of the students would be Constantinos, who can leave huge cracks on concrete walls like Russell can...
Patchy: ...and an entire football team of jocks who are way more muscular than he is.
Patchy: The jocks should be comparable, if not superior to their fellow member, Dan Wilson, who took an explosion from a rigged football to the face! Sure, he fell down, but he was out and about seconds later.
Potty: Damn, how many steroids does Mr. Burton give to his students?
Patchy: Furthermore, Jimmy is also above the Greasers, with some of their members being capable of tipping large trees over!
Potty: He and Gary were able to destroy large metal platforms during their fight.
Patchy: Is that why it's pathetically easy to beat Gary?
Potty: Ehh, I think that's Rockstar's way of saying Gary is only powerful with words. Which is pretty clever.
Patchy: Moving on, Jimmy can produce smoke with his Indian Burns, send people flying several meters with his punches, pry open locked gates and garage doors, beat up people with a baseball bat hard enough for the bat to eventually break, ring the bell at the carnival's high-striker game, and rip lead pipes off of walls!
Potty: It's safe to say Jimmy can take a hell of a beating. Not only does he regularly take hits from people comparable to him, but after defeating Gary, they fell through a glass ceiling!
Patchy: Gary was knocked out, but Jimmy didn't have a single scratch on him! I'm telling you, it's because bald people are the strongest! Just ask Dwayne Johnson; he's in every action movie in existence for a reason!
Potty: Well, can Dwayne Johnson be unhurt after having his skull smashed by a sledgehammer and then being chucked through a wall? Because Jimmy pulled that off.
Patchy: Maybe...
Potty: Jimmy can also tank attacks from his own weapons, which are a lot more powerful than his own fists, as they can replicate the pulverizing-marble-columns feat. Here's the difference though - Jimmy's weapons can pulverize them in one shot!
Patchy: He can survive explosions to the face, survived being stabbed by a giant metallic scythe, took a fall from the school roof with no damage, can withstand getting his head caved in by baseball bats and pipes, walk off getting hit by a car, survived being crushed by metallic bells, tank vicious bites from angry dogs, and he stood perfectly still after getting kicked in the nuts!
Potty: But most of all, he was able to take shots from a rapid-fire...potato gun?
Patchy: It's more impressive than it sounds, as the machine gun was able to dent and blow through large metal doors.
Potty: So in short, Jimmy's hella tough. But he's hella fast too. He can outrun pitbulls, with their top speed sitting comfortably at 25-30 miles per hour! That's a tiny bit faster than Usain Bolt's max speed!
Patchy: He can sprint down a football field within 9.01 seconds, which is 10.148 m/s, and he keep up with cars moving at moderate speeds, as well as mopeds! And to top it off, he can dodge charges from Russell, who outran a police van! Why take the bus to school when you're that fast?
Potty: Jimmy can outrun virtually every character in the game, including prefects, the jocks and police officers. Plus, he defeated Bif in a boxing match, and Bif himself is Bullworth's boxing champion! Judging by that and the batshit insane moves he can pull off during combat, it's probably fair to assume Bif is comparable to real life boxers, whose average punching speed is 25 miles per hour.
Patchy: Not only is Jimmy really strong, but he's smart too. Despite having his intelligence insulted by a few characters throughout the game, he's highly competent, possessing a sense of maturity that his fellow peers lack, including the Nerds, who are smart enough to build a rapid-fire defense system that shoots out potatoes and sucessfully plan out Operation Trojan Cow.
Potty: If it wasn't clear by now, he's a dangerous fighter. He bested the Preps in boxing, who have far more years of experience than he does, and he mastered karate and wrestling after learning a few moves. It's not just ordinary karate either - they're moves taught by a Korean War veteran!
Patchy: And if Jimmy wants to pull off a slick sneak attack on you, then he'll damn well do that. He sneaked into a mental asylum twice without getting caught nor with prior planning, and he's disguised himself as both a Prep and an asylum orderly.
Potty: If you think you're still safe from him, no worries - he vandalized Mr. Hattrick's house while hiding from the police. But more importantly, he accomplished every 15-year-old's dream by sneaking into the girls' dorm and taking pics of Mandy, the head cheerleader!
Patchy: He's an expert lockpicker, which is a useful life hack...oh, I mean, he's a good student. He excels at all his classes - which is required for 100% completion - and those include creating entire paintings and solving math problems correctly within seconds, creating weapons, and building the best bicycle in the game.
Potty: Jimmy's a good student and a smooth talker. He can talk his way out of crimes and scare people away by either shoving or insulting them. He has convinced entire cliques manipulated by Gary to join forces with him, and he can charm girls and certain boys into making out with him, even with those who are already in a relationship!
Patchy: But all in all, fisticuffs and smarts aren't the only thing Jimmy's capable of. Thanks to his Chemistry classes paying off, he's got loads of weapons. At first glance, they might seem like things only Dennis the Menace would carry around, but they're pretty deadly!
Potty: His iconic weapon isn't unlocked from chemistry class, though, and that would be the Super Slingshot. It has an infinite amount of "ammo", and is obviously more powerful and faster than the standard wooden slingshot. How powerful exactly? Enough to knock out a prefect with two headshots!
Patchy: It even damages people with headgear, like police officers. Jimmy is so skilled with the Super Slingshot that he prevented a bunch of jocks from ruining Earnest's speech with it, and keep in mind he was pretty far away from the stage as he was sitting at the top of the auditorium.
Potty: And later in the game, he fended off some bloodthirsty greasers with it while riding as a passenger on a speedy bike.
Patchy: His firecrackers are the strongest thrown weapons he has even though they're the first weapons you unlock in Chemistry! A single firecracker is typically enough to knock out students.
Potty: Don't worry, they're totally legal to own.
Patchy: Up next is the stink bomb, which will create a smoke that stinks so bad it'll stun the opponent and briefly fuck up their vision. Sounds like the aftermath of eating Chipotle.
Potty: His itching powder, eggs and spraypaint bottle will also stun his target, except they obviously don't produce smoke. His marbles are similar too, except his opponent will trip on them if they step on them. No surprise there.
Patchy: Things get more interesting with the spud gun, which shoots...potatoes. Actually, how is that interesting?
Potty: It's the strongest weapon in the game. Funny, I know, but it can one-shot prefects if you follow Thanos' advice by going for the head.
Patchy: Alright, but potatoes? You've got to be kidding.
Potty: (holding a spud gun) Mmm, no. I can demonstrate.
Patchy: WAIT! Let's talk about this!
(To show off its destructive capabilities, Patchy is shot in the knee, and he screams. He then sits where he is, clutches his knee, winces, inhales sharply through his teeth, and repeatedly whines "Ahh!")
Patchy: (weakly gets back up) You feathery, scurvy bastard! You just HAD to go for my spare leg, huh?
Potty: Yes, yes I did.
Patchy: Why you little-
Potty: (visibly bandaged) Up next is the bottle rocket launcher, an explosive firearm that, while dangerous, isn't very good as a ranged weapon, as it has poor aim from a distance and can thus easily be dodged.
Patchy: And last but not least is probably my favorite...the rubber band ball.
Potty: Much like the slingshot, it has infinite "ammo" and can't be confiscated whenever Jimmy gets busted.
Patchy: But that's not why it's my favorite. Jimmy has to throw it, and once he does, it'll bounce around everywhere and knock down anybody that isn't him! For a little payback... (takes out an exact replica of the rubber band ball) I think I'll test it out.
Potty: Heyheyheyheywaitwaitwait! Where are you aiming tha-
(Patchy tosses it at the wall, and it knocks over everything. Once it hits Potty, he screams, and all of his feathers poof away from the impact. Potty gets knocked down)
Patchy: By the way, the rubber band ball isn't the last thing to cover, because there's Jimmy's skateboard. It would've been kinda awkward if we lumped it together with his weapons, but anyway, while Jimmy has a bicycle, moped and even a go-kart as his sources of transportation, his skateboard is the most reliable one.
Potty: He always has it on him, and it can go faster than cars! I'm pretty sure that realistically, the skateboard's tires would pop from that amount of force, but eh, can't complain if you don't have to worry about dreaded gas prices.
Patchy: These ones aren't weapons either, but Jimmy also has ninja outfits. Do they look dumb as hell? Of course, but allow us to explain.
Potty: The Black Ninja Outfit increases Jimmy's stealth, while the green variant buffs the damage and range for his weapons. The red one...only protects him from trespassing on private property so that won't be useful.
Patchy: So while Jimmy is more badass than any teen, he does have his flaws. He can be quite conceited, which is why when Pete told him the entire school was angry at him, his first response was challenging them to a fight.
Potty: Some of his weapons can backfire on him if he's not careful enough. The marbles, for instance, are good at catching an opponent by surprise, but if he uses them up-close, he'll trip on them too.
Patchy: But his biggest weakness is...where the fuck is Bully 2?!
Potty: Throughout Jimmy's sophomore year, he learned some valuable lessons. To never trust a guy with a scar on his eyebrow, that greasers are still a thing, to never skip class or else prefects will abuse you, and that beating up bullies is the surefire way of making them stop. Sadly, we're probably never going to see a sequel to his game since Rockstar is too busy milking GTA 5, but at least it's clear Jimmy is a good guy who won't hesitate to protect others.
Jimmy: So here I am, at probably the worst school in the country, whose alumni are nothing but arms dealers, serial killers and corporate lawyers. Real scum. And that old creep thinks he can tame me? We shall see, my friend. I only give people what they have coming to them.
Miss Trunchbull Gives DEATH BATTLE! the Hammer Throw[]
Potty: Ever thought your school was torture? Well, thank the high heavens you're probably not in the UK.
Patchy: ...sorry, he meant to say thank the high heavens your principal probably isn't Agatha Trunchbull. This tall and imposing woman is every kid's school-related nightmare combined into one. She's mean, she's anything but lean, and she will gladly harm children for her own amusement. What makes you say that, you may ask? Let's dive into her backstory...
Potty: Early in her childhood, Trunchbull's parents divorced. Yup, we already got that fatherless behavior marked down.
Patchy: Oh GOD. This would lead to her becoming the stepsister of Jennifer Honey's mother.
Intermission/Roots and Bets[]
Death Battle[]
Results[]
Next Time[]
Trivia[]
- This is mostly a contrast battle as opposed to a connection-based battle. The contrasts between Jimmy and Miss Trunchbull are that one is a student who wants to bring peace to school through taking down antagonistic students and corrupt teachers, wanting to redeem himself from how people see him (due to his past of being a "bad student"), while the other is a teacher who wants supreme control by forcing order onto children akin to slavery, believing herself to be strong because of an implication of wanting to prove herself (due to her career). One also lives a harsh and rough life (ranging from living in a broken home with a neglectful mother to being surrounded by bullies at the worst school in the country), while the other makes the lives of those around them a lot harder and extremely miserable (with Trunchbull even being responsible for her sister's death and blaming it on Miss Honey, according to the Matilda musical).
- Overall, this matchup is a case of Jimmy fighting a power-hungry sociopath who rules their school with an iron fist (similarly to Gary Smith), while Trunchbull is going up against a student who's fighting back instead of following her orders.
- The battle would be animated in 3D.
- The track title would be Taking the Bull by the Horns.