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Jeane vs. The Black Baron
Season 2, Episode 31
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Air date Sept 07, 2015
Written by Venage237
Directed by Venage237
Episode guide
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Jeane vs. The Black Baron is a What-If Death Battle created by Venage237. This fan made Death Battle features Jeane from No More Heroes, and The Black Baron from Madworld.

Description[]

No More Heroes vs. Madworld. Today two 1st ranked combatants in games where killing is necessary, are going to battle each other to see who is more worthy at being the 1st ranked killer. But which one? Travis Touchdown's Half-Sister, or The Host of the Bloodbath Challenges?

Interlude[]

Boomstick: Assassins are some of the most badass people you could ever meet. I mean, they can kill someone to let out their anger, and get paid while doing it.

Wiz: But what happens if the assassins are part of a gameshow where they are ranked? AND that it's your job is to kill each other to improve your rank.

Boomstick: But in order to be the best you have to kill the toughest assassins, from the very bottom to the very top. And the only thing that keeps you from being the best is the 1st ranked assassin.

Wiz: Jeane, the sudden 1st Ranked Assassin of the UAA.

Boomstick: And the Black, Motherfucking Baron, the Host of the Bloodbath Challenges and 1st ranked killer on Death Watch.

Wiz: I'm Wizard, and he's Boomstick.

Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills, to find out who will win a Death Battle.

Jeane[]

Wiz: Travis Touchdown is one of the greatest assassins in the UAA.

Boomstick: But before he made his way to become the 1st ranked assassin, he had to work his way up. After he became the 2nd ranked assassin after killing Bad Girl, he made his way towards the location of the 1st ranked assassin; Dark Star... what?.... (record scratching can be heard.) Uh, Wiz?

Wiz: Yeah, Boomstick?

Boomstick: I thought we were going to talk about Jeane, not this Dark Star.

Wiz: We are going to talk about Jeane. But before then Travis assumed that his next opponent was Dark Star. But just as they were about to fight each other, Jeane appeared from behind Dark Star, and killed him, via punching right through Dark Star's groin.

Boomstick: AHHH!! That hurt even me!

Wiz: And after killing Dark Star, Jeane, inevitably became the new 1st ranked assassin of the UAA.

Boomstick: But why would she kill Dark Star, even though he was Travis' opponent?

Wiz: Well, I think it'd be best that she tell her backstory herself. Just to warn you about two things though; one, her backstory's pretty disturbing. And two; she fast-forward herself to make it difficult for us to understand her. But luckily for us, we have the technology to put in back to normal speeds.

Jeane: You are my half-brother. You know that manga called Miyuki? The Japanese one. Well, it's like that. Your father abandoned my mother to run off with your mother. It broke her heart beyond repair. She killed herself. Knowing I had nowhere to go, he took advantage of me. Ever since I can remember, he molested me. We lived in this rotten apartment... And I was his slave. Every day I cursed his soul. I swore that I would kill him one day. But cursing didn't change anything. That's when I decided to become a killer. With no money to pay for training, I paid with my body. But to you, I bet that son of a bitch looked like a hard-working family man. That was all an act. He didn't give two shits about cleaning up my life so I decided to clean it up myself. That's why I do what I do. And I got what I wanted. Killing him in front of your very eyes. That's my story.

Boomstick: Holy shit!

Wiz: And you know what the real scary part about the relationship between Jeane and Travis, besides being half-siblings?

Boomstick: What?

Wiz: The two apparently had romantic feeling for each other.

Boomstick: EWWWW! Incest!

Wiz: Though to be fair, Travis didn't know that Jean was his half-sister at the time. But after Jeane murdered his family, Travis would go to bars and get drunk off his ass. It was there where he met Sylvia Christel. It was there when Silvia made a deal with Travis; if he could become the 1st ranked assassin, Silvia would promise Travis both revenge against the one who murdered his family, and sex. As such Travis accepted, and was enlisted as an assassin in the UAA.

Boomstick: But if Jeane murdered Travis' parents before the events of No More Heroes, then how is Dark Star Travis and Jeane's father?

Wiz: I... honestly don't know. My guess is that Dark Star survived and is on a special life support just to keep him alive. After all Dark Star seems to have a raspy breathing sound when Travis encountered him. But then again Jeane said that Dark Star was lying that he was Travis' father, so.... again beats me.

Boomstick: Because she wanted revenge against Dark Star, Jeane trained herself in multiple form of martial arts. She also possesses superhuman agility and reflexes.

Wiz: Not to mention, Jeane is also capable of sliding through sand without even sinking in, almost as if she's on ice. And she's also fluent with counterattacking with an armbar lock. And surprisingly, Jeane is pretty strong.

Boomstick: You're not kidding. Jeane is capable of punching through a human flesh with a single punch. And while she doesn't use it for combat, after killing Dark Star, Jeane took his Horse Saber to create an energy field around her and Travis. It poses no real threat, except that the field gets smaller and smaller, making it more difficult to dodge her attacks.

Wiz: Jeane may've only appeared in a short part of the game, but it's shown that she is one of Travis' deadliest foes. As we've already stated, Jeane managed to kill Dark Star with a single punch. Hell, she nearly killed Travis during their respect ranked match.

Boomstick: But thanks to having protagonist armor, Travis managed to survive getting a punch through the chest. And, with a little help from Shinobu, a previous assassin Travis confronted, Travis managed to kill his half-sister. And while it maybe impressive that she managed to hold her own against Travis, who was using a beam katana, Jeane doesn't like to rely on other weapons to help her in battle. Seriously Jeane. You have the Horse Saber at your disposal, why didn't you use it other than making the battle field smaller?

Wiz: Maybe she has a sense of honor and wants to kill her half-brother fairly.

Boomstick: And yet she snuck up behind Dark Star and killed him by punching him through the groin.

Wiz: But Dark Star had that coming since he, apparently, molested his daughter after abandoning her mother to live with Travis' mother. If you ask me, Dark Star more than deserved that.

Boomstick: Ah.... Yeah! You're right Wiz.

Jeane: You're right. Go ahead. Draw, brother.

The Black Baron[]

Black Baron: And you know who yours truly is-- The Black, Motherfuckin' Baron stop staring.

Boomstick: We don't need to explain anymore about this guy's personality. This guy is seriously over-the-top.

Wiz: Over-the-top is the understatement of a decade. The Black Baron is the stereotypical pimp and host, known to wearing extravagant clothes and talking almost as if he's rapping in every sentence.

Boomstick: And speaking of host, The Black Baron is one of the co-host of Deathwatch's secondary gameshow; The Bloodbath Challenges. Basically, the Black Baron would explain who the players how to play the games, and get the high score. After which, the Baron's Whor--

Wiz: Horribly dressed assistant Mathilda would use him as a human guinea pig. But the really strange part is that despite The Black Baron getting killed by his assistant, he still comes back, almost if nothing happened.

Boomstick: So is the Black Baron immortal?

Wiz: That... unfortunately, is never explained. He could be. But at the same time, there could be warehouse where an large group of Black Baron clones are waiting to host the Bloodbath Challenges. Much like how Dimentio from Super Paper Mario, has an entire room with Dimentio clones.

Boomstick: Anyway... let's move on. After Jack Cayman, a contender in Deathwatch managed to kill every assassin who stood in his way, he climbed up to the top of tower, where he eventually entered a boxing ring, suspended in the air. It was there, that he's about the confront the 1st ranked assassin in Death Battle. The Black Baron.

Wiz: Yep, the host of the Bloodbath Challenges, who commonly gets killed during the prologue of each challenge, is the 1st ranked assassin in Deathwatch.

Boomstick: And he is one tough motherfucker.

Wiz: Being the champion on Deathwatch, the Black Baron is a master is various forms of hand-to-hand combat. He specializes in boxing techniques, but adds in a few kicks into the mix.

Boomstick: And let's not forget that those punches hurt. I mean, LOOK AT THE SIZES OF THOSE RINGS! I hope you enjoy having diamond-shaped hole in your ribs, otherwise you better dodge his assault.

Wiz: The Black Baron is also incredibly strong and fast. His strength, speed, agility, and reflexes rivals that of even Jack Cayman. After all he's capable of both dodging Jack's chainsaw, and even blocking the chainsaw all in general. And yet he's still capable of continuing with his assault.

Boomstick: But if he's back into a corner, The Black Baron will go SUPER BLACK GUY SAIYAN!!!! In this form, The Black Baron unleashes multiple forms of supernatural abilities. He can perform a lightning fast dropkick, WITH the adding of lightning.

Wiz: He can also generate his own version of the Hadouken, but instead of generating a simple energy blast of pure aura, his Hadouken takes on the form of an energy fist.

Boomstick: Not to mention, he can also perform an uppercut SO STRONG that he can send his foes flying out of the arena... where his whor--

Wiz: Horribly dress assistant will proceed to beat the living hell out his the Baron's opponent with a spiked bat. But, as we've stated before, that's outside help. So Mathilda will not attend this Death Battle.

Boomstick: I really wish you wouldn't interrupt me Wiz.

Wiz: I can and I will whenever I feel like it Boomstick. I can't help it.

Boomstick: Anyway, when it comes to the Black Baron's supernatural abilities, none of them come even remotely close towards his most powerful ability; The Black Hole.

Wiz: The Black Baron will generate a black hole around him. This will suck anyone near him, and if they don't escape on time, it instantly kills those unlucky bastards.

Boomstick: Though sadly, it takes a few seconds before the Baron can use this ability. But while using it, he's invulnerable.

Wiz: And before we talk about The Black Baron's feats and flaws, we should point out that is another version of him that did appear in a game known as Anarchy Reigns. Though in this version he's known as the Blacker Baron.

The That's Racist Kid: THAT'S RASCIST!

Boomstick: Anyway... As the Blacker Baron, the Black Baron seems to've lost his supernatural abilities, but replaced them with a pair of golden gauntlets with retractable phoenixes known as the Super Sexy Fists of Fire. And, as you may've guessed, The Baron uses those gauntlets to generate fire.

Wiz: Unfortunately though, it's been stated that the Black Baron and the Blacker Baron are not the same person, so we can't include his Super Sexy Fists of Fire.

Boomstick: Awww...

Wiz: But with that said, The Black Baron is one of the deadliest assassin in Deathwatch. He managed to hold his own against the likes of Jack Cayman, and has survived getting killed on multiple occasions.

Boomstick: You are not kidding. I mean the Black Baron managed to survived being sliced to pieces by a jet turbine, survived getting ran over by a train going 120mph. Got back up after getting crushed and skewered by a spiked crusher. Was sent flying into a giant target by a spiked baseball bat, not once, but twice. Was forced to chug down this strange juice down his throat and ended up being sent flying onto a spiked target, twice.

Wiz: He was also tossed into a firework cannon and was shot out, causing him to explode. Survived getting decapitated by a golf club. Survived getting crushed by the hand of Frank, and finally survived getting ran over, and was sent flying by a motorcycle.

Boomstick: Again, are you sure that he's not immortal?

Wiz: Well, like I've said, they never state on whether or not he is, But I'm going to stick with what I said that there is a warehouse of Black Baron clones. So when one of them dies, another one takes his place. And, I'm also going on a bit of a stretch, but I think the original Black Baron is the champion.

Boomstick: But despite him knowing that his assistant keeps killing him during the Bloodbath Challenges, he still can't figure out that she's going to kill him. And despite him managing to hold his own against Jack Cayman, Jack still managed to defeat him, and ended the fight by smacking his ass into a human dartboard.

Wiz: You can't deny though that he is one of Jack greatest foes though right?

Boomstick: That I can't deny Wiz. That I cannot deny.

Black Baron: Navy SEALs? Specials-ops? C'mon, bitch!

Death Battle[]

(The scene begins inside an elevator with Jeane inside. Jeane has made her way to the top of a tower, where she reaches the final area, the Ring of Madness. As she's making her way to the ring, a helicopter is flying towards the ring, while carrying a large throne chair, with her final opponent sitting on the throne.)

Jeane: So you're my final opponent before I become the top ranked assassin.

The helicopter descended, with the throne landing on the boxing ring.

The champion is revealed to be the Black Baron.

As the Baron gets up from the chair, he tosses his staff, and his fur coat.

(Cue Look Pimpin')

Black Baron: Yo, this bitch is my opponent?

Jeane: What's wrong? Afraid to hit a woman?

Black Baron: Girl, I ain't afraid to hit a woman.

Jeane: Well then...

Jeane gets into a fighting stance.

Jeane: Let's get this started, shall we?

Black Baron: Navy SEALs? Specials-ops? C'mon, bitch!

Fight[]

Jeane starts the fight by charging towards the Black Baron.

She then proceeded by performing several kicking techniques directly into the Baron's face.

However, the Black Baron managed to dodge and block all of Jeane's attacks.

He then proceeded to perform various boxing techniques towards Jeane.

Jeane managed to dodge the attacks, and proceeded to unleash a barrage of punches and kick at the Baron, and was successful.

The Black Baron quickly got back up and proceeded to spiral kick (Where he jumps and spins his body, while performing a kick), and managed to hit Jeane.

Jeane managed to get back up.

The two charged at each other and proceeded to clash with each other.

The two managed to mirror each others punch, trading equal blows.

As the Black Baron are about to uppercut Jeane's jaw, Jeane slid on the side of the Baron, and proceeded to unleash another barrage of punches and kicking, causing the Black Baron to be sent flying, and losing his hat and sunglasses.

The Black Baron managed to get back up, and....

Black Baron: OK... OK Bitch..... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

(Cue So Cold)

The Black Baron generates a massive aura around him, unleashing his true strength.

The Black Baron then proceeded to jump onto the turnbuckle.

He then proceeded to jump off and proceeded to perform an lighting fast kick towards Jeane.

Jeane barely dodged it and proceeded charge towards the Black Baron.

As Jeane is charging towards the Black Baron, the Black Baron is generating his aura.

Just as Jeane is about to perform a powerful punch, the Black Baron generated a powerful energy fist, which successfully hits Jeane.

The Black Baron proceeded by sliding towards Jeane, and just as she's getting up, the Black Baron performed a powerful uppercut, which caused to her to tossed out of the fighting ring.

Moments later a helicopter shows up and picks up Jeane. It then dropped her back into the ring.

Jeane managed to get back up, but weakened.

Desperate, Jeane begins to charge up so she could perform a punch powerful enough to punch through human flesh.

At the same time, The Black Baron is generating his aura again, but this time a black aura is appearing underneath the Black Baron.

As Jeane is about to unleash her punch, she interrupted herself as she feels herself being pulled towards the Black Baron.

Jeane tries to escape, but was unable, and eventually reach the Black Baron.

The Black Baron then proceeded to perform an uppercut so strong that is cause the black hole to create a powerful air current, which resulted in Jeane's body exploding into pieces, killing her.

Black Baron: I told ya bitch! The Black Motherfuckin' Baron isn't afraid to hit a bitch.

KO[]

  • Jeane's body is seen around the arena.
  • The Black Baron is posing for the crowd, while Mathilda is posing around the Black Baron.

Conclusion[]

(Cue Look Pimpin')

Boomstick: And it looks like this bitch just became the Baron's bitch.

Wiz: While Jeane may've been more agile than the Black Baron, as well as the better martial artist, her advantages came to an immediate halt, as soon as the Black Baron unleashed his true powers.

Boomstick: Jeane is a smart fighter, and use her small size to help her escape the Black Baron's barrage, but at the same time, her small structure is what ultimately led to her downfall.

Wiz: As we've stated before, the Black Baron's strongest ability is his Black Hole, which is designed to suck his foes towards him, in which, he unleashes an insta-kill attack.

Boomstick: Hell, even someone like Jack Cayman had trouble avoiding the vacuum of the black hole, and he's weighs roughly 307lbs!

Wiz: And since Jeane is shorter than Travis Touchdown, who is shorter than Jack Cayman, there is no doubt that if Jeane were to be sucked by the vacuum of the Black Hole, she would've had even more trouble escaping the vacuum of the Black Baron's Black Hole.

Boomstick: And as far to our knowledge, Jeane as never encountered assassins, or other fighters with supernatural abilities, so she would be less adaptive towards fighting someone who can generate energy fists, and black holes. And because of that, Jeane just blacked out.

Wiz: The Winner is--

Black Baron: The Black, Motherfuckin' Baron, stop starin'!

Death Battle Winner Black Baron

Next Time[]

Battle of the Lovely Lightning Ladies





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