Description[]
What happens when a giant shark... faces a giant crocodile?
Interlude[]
(Cue Death Battle Theme)
W: Mankind has always feared what's right below the surface. Might it be the unknown or vastness of it all the ocean will always be a fear in the back of the minds of most people
B: Especially when you got big ass animals that all they want to do is make you their next meal!
W: Jaws, the demon of the deep blue.
B: And the Lake Placid Crocodile, the living fossil. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
W: And it's our job to analyze their Weapons, Armor, and Skills to find out who would win.
A DEATH BATTLE!
Jaws[]
(Cue "Jaws" Theme - John Williams
W: Ever since the movie's creation in 1975, the classic theme has haunted the waters
B: And my tub for whenever I take a bath.
W: But should you see the monster beneath, say your prayers because you caught the attention of the bloodthirsty maneater: Bruce
B: Wait I thought we were talking about Speilberg, not Finding Nemo
W: I'm surprised you've actually seen Finding Nemo. But actually, the crew behind Jaws actually nicknamed the shark Bruce. Which lead to the shark in Finding Nemo being named Bruce as a homage
B: Oh... That's pretty cool
W: But even though Bruce is technically a male, no male great white shark could reach the size of Bruce. A staggering 25 feet long body which is only a few feet longer than the biggest great white on record: Deep Blue. This may be caused by Bruce's age a great white lives for around 70 years but they really never stop growing. So theoretically a male could grow to that size should it be well fed and live past, give or take 100 plus years? B: GRANDPA SHARK DO DO DO DO
W: NO!
B: Got em. Well Naturally with such size comes a huge bite force. Jaws has ate people whole, thrashed rafts, destroyed shark cages...which you know are SUPPOSED to be shark proof, PULLED DOWN A FRICKING DOCK, and bitten holes through solid steel.
W: To pull down something like a dock really does depend on what kind of wood is used, but for arguments sake we'll look at the 3 most common used woods for a dock: Redwood, Cypress, and White Cedar. First a great white can produce a bite worth at the maximum 4,000 psi, the bending point for a white cedar is 6,500 psi, with redwood being 7'900 psi, and finally cypress being an amazing 10,600 psi! Now it is unclear if Bruce actually just bended the poles of the dock or bit right through them, but for arguments say we'll say Bruce bit through them, scaling up the shark to size of Jaws it's safe to say she can bite at the minimum 7,000 psi and at the most 11,000 psi! That is almost 3 times the bite force of a 20 foot great white or similar to a T-Rex!
B: Not only is Jaws got a serious bite, but he's incredibly strong physically, being over 3 tons will do that to you.
Other Feats
-Bit through the hull of the orca which is solid steel
-Pulled the same boat at high speeds
-Nearly sank the boat just by leaping onto it
-Strong enough to stay underwater with multiple floatation barrels being strapped to her
B: Like most sharks, Bruce is pretty agile, being able to make sharp turns like any other great white, probably clocking in at 35 miles an hour in short bursts. But actually during the multi day hunt for Bruce she showed little fatigue so she seems to have an enhanced stamina far beyond any shark.
W: And Bruce is actually shockingly intelligent, being coordinated enough to smack enemies with it's tail and being...well at least more than the average hunting tactics of a great white shark, diving deep down and attacking their prey from below
B: But understandably Bruce is really not really different than a beefed up great white. Jaws and other incarnations to follow have died by Explosions, electrocution, and being impaled.
W: But even with that, Jaws is still really fricking tough! She's been stabbed with knives, harpoons, machetes, lances and all the like. It's also implied Bruce can withstand handgun fire without a scratch.
B: Bruce is truly Bombastic
Cut the scene of Bruce being blown up at the end of the movie
B: Heh. Got em.
Lake Placid[]
B: Hey Wiz, ain't it weird how so many horror villains come from lakes?
W: What's your example besides who we're about to discuss, and Jason?
B: DUH! THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON!
W: Boomstick you act like a child
B: Well YOUR name doesn't even make sense "Wizard" you don't even have a pointy hat!
(Cue "Interior Crocodile Alligator")
B: In 1999 at Black Lake, NOT LAKE PLACID cause that would be stupid, Killings started popping up. Was it a bear? A serial killer? NO IT WAS A BIG ASS CROCODILE.
W: That escalated quickly. Well this crocodile was indeed huge, being described as 30 feet long and being 150 years old, which no. That is scientifically impossible.
B: These are cheap horror movies Wiz, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
W: Well this crocodile has sure shown to be truly impressive, being stealthy enough to knock over boats without being heard, swift enough to bite a human head clean off which isn't really a stretch even for a normal crocodile, to rip a human head would only take 5,600 newtons while an average saltwater crocodile can bite with the force of over 16,000 newtons and that's only for an average sized saltwater crocodile which are normally 16, so to calculate the lake placid this means it can bite with at least 33,000 newtons!
B: Comparing this to a scene later in the film where the croc bites and drags a grizzly bear with no effort- yeah I'm sold.
W: But even this is dwarfed by the male's biggest feat...
B: PULLING DOWN, A GODANM HELICOPTER, OUT THE GODDANM AIR.
https://geekireland.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/lake-placid-helicopter-attack-scene.jpg
W: Well actually it didn't pull it down, it let go after getting shot at. Now a helicopter doesn't actually need a lot to be brought down under the right conditions. BUT there is a slight detail. The helicopter wasn't being tipped over, it was being pulled down, meaning it was going against the flow of the helicopter while somehow balancing it- which is near impossible to calculate.
B: A heccing chonker indeed.
Other Feats
-Survives gunshots without an issue
-Swam from the Indo-pacific to Maine
-Drags around large animals such as bears and cows
B: Although speaking of that helicopter scene... it does show one of it's greatest weaknesses you see the croc could barley even tell a human when it was RIGHT in front of it until is started moving drastically, so this could mean either it's not really all up there in it's brain hole or lacks good eyesight which might be caused by his age? Maybe? Possibly?
W: Crocodile's don't really have much besides the instinct to launch at what's put in front of it which can lead to it being blinded by it's bloodlust frenzy but at the same time making it wildly unpredictable. Lake placid has only shown to be able to be killed by huge explosions or at least be harmed by something much more powerful than a normal sidearm because of his thick hide, not to mention the underbelly is by far the weakest part of any crocs armor.
B: But really, if you're in the water with this thing, the best you can do is give some good ol' crocodile tears and hope he makes it quick.
Cut to the scene of the crocodile pulling a grizzly bear into the water
Prelude[]
W: Alright we have gathered all the evidence, ran the possibilities, and come to a conclusion.
B: IT'S TIME FOR AN UNDERWATER DEATH BATTTTTLLLLLLLLLLEEE!!!
The Fight[]
(Cue: "Jaws: Unleashed" title theme)
The scene opens with the giant crocodile leaving his lake home and going out into the open ocean until it realizes with it's sense of smell, it's being followed from below
Suddenly Bruce would swim up from the deep dark deep down with the crocodile being able to the surface and get out of the way. After taking a long breath and letting out a bellowing growl it would head back beneath the waves
F I G H T
The 2 behemoths would swim full speed at each other before Bruce would suddenly swim under and bite the end of the crocodile's tail, pulling along the croc with great speed and taking it into deeper water
The larger croc would thrash about, making the great white let go as it turned around and was met by a tail slap to the jaw.
Bruce would land a bite right on the neck with little damage being done initially as the croc would push the shark up the surface, the croc gasping for air
Bruce would land down with another bite, this time drawing blood, only fueling both of their anger and rage
The crocodile would perform is signature form of attack: the death roll, rolling about making the shark let go and putting it on its belly
seeing the opportunity lake placid would let go and swim back around for a death blow, but before it could land the bite, jaws would roll back over and dash past the slower croc as it only nipped it's dorsal fin
But before the larger male could even react it had realized it has lost one of it's back legs with Bruce holding the whole leg in it's mouth
Not unsettled in the slightest, the crocodile would launch a few snaps with jaws backing up after each attempt
The shark lunged at the wounded neck of the croc with the croc unable to react in time, it pushed back full speed at the surface, with jaws holding on for dear life
They would both fly clean out the water with a huge splash upon both of their re-entries into the sea
Both beasts would charge at one another one final time with Bruce biting down with all of his might on the snout of the bleeding reptile. Until the clamped jaws were thrown off the stronger croc pushing jaws back as it was forcing it to open it's mouth with superior jaw strength until an audible crack with several teeth falling out the shark's mouth
The croc would make a sudden 180 degree turn smacking Bruce with it's tail, only furthering the damage to the jaws of jaws
Dazed the shark couldn't see the croc coming with a bite to the back of the tail, causing even more blood to spill, desperate, the shark somehow escaped the car crusher mouth of the croc and tried it's best to penetrate the skin with well aimed headbutts to no avail
The shark made a mad dash for deeper into the ocean with the still bleeding croc in hot pursuit, when it had lost sight of jaws, the monster from lake placid would slowly swim back up in tiredness and blood loss
When out of nowhere the shark rammed head first into the underbelly of the crocodile from behind. the croc knowing it was in trouble clawed at the shark and headed to the surface, which is where the scene waits upon the calm ocean. Then as the crocodile lay upon the top of the waves, breathing heavily, something was coming up
Before the croc could react, with a shocked face, Jaws would shoot up right out from right under the croc, right through the soft underbelly and through the tough skin on the outside, with the still beating heart of the reptile in its mouth as it hit it's peak in the air, the demon bit down, crushing the animal's heart
K. O.
The scene end with a newspaper clipping reading "KILLER SHARK STRIKES BACK, KILLS LOCAL CROCODILE"
The Results[]
B: TAKE THAT PETA!
W: This fight was incredibly close, with both characters having easy ways to kill the other
B: Yeah all Lake Placid needed was one good solid bite on the shark's fins or neck to really render Bruce helpless. While Bruce just needed to bite into the underbelly until the croc either bled out or died of exhaustion.
W: So it really comes down to the stats B: I'm seeing..."differences"
W: Shockingly we expected Jaws to have the edge when it came to bite force but if we compare The Lake Placid crocodile to that of a deinosuchus, the closest in size to the croc, counting differences in skull shape and diet, it's actually pretty believable that lake placid could bite with a little under 14,000 psi, which trumps jaws at his best.
B: But besides that and his crazy tough skin, he didn't have much against the near supernatural powers of jaws. Crocodiles don't have the heart capacity to keep up an attack for very long periods of time, and sure the croc in the movie had a standoff with the humans for about a day, but he didn't make his move till night and eventually gave up after getting trapped! While meanwhile Jaws fought for 3 days straight with NO sign of fatigue
W: It comes down to the old question of speed vs size. and what good is power when you cant keep up with the game? Sure Lake placid COULD win, but doesn't mean he would ALWAYS win, so we felt jaws was the safer bet.
B: That sure was a "Bruce"some and "Jaws"some fight.
W: The winner is Jaws
Jaws wins: 6 Times out of 10
Next Time on Death Battle[]
Cue a slow pan up a building with that familiar score playing. The dark knight stand on top a building but then. Darkness.
A group of cackling laughs erupts as lightning strikes showing that all too known madhouse.
ARKHAM ASYLUM
BATMAN VILLIANS BATTLE ROYAL FEATURING
THE JOKER
TWO-FACE
HARLEY QUINN
POISON IVY
CATWOMAN
SCARECROW
KILLER CROC
BANE
MAN-BAT
THE PENGUIN
THE RIDDLER
MR. FREEZE