| Sombra vs Crypto
| |
|---|---|
| Season | 3 |
| Season Episode | 4 |
| Written by | GetSkadooshed |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Sombra vs Crypto |
Next Fall Guy vs Gang Beast Fighter |
This is a What If? Death Battle by GetSkadooshed. It features Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th and the Gill-man from The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Description[]
For this spooky month this Death Battle will be between two horror movie monsters that enjoy killing their victims near their large watery home.
Intro[]
(Cue Death Battle: Wiz and Boomstick)
Boomstick: Ah October, the perfect month for spooky monsters, killers, and delicious candy.
Wiz: And of course horror. To celebrate the month of October we have two horror movie villains that will battle against one another to the death.
Boomstick: One likes hunting around a lake, while the other likes hunting around a lagoon.
Wiz: Jason Voorhees, the hockey mask wearing and machete wielding slasher.
Boomstick: And Gill-man, the creature from the Black Lagoon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And we are going to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!
Jason Voorhees[]
Wiz: In the year 1957 Pamela Voorhees took her 11 year old son, Jason Voorhees, to Camp Crystal Lake.
Boomstick: But sadly poor Jason became a victim of bullying due to his deformed and disfigured body. Then the sons of bitches thought it was a great idea to throw the boy into the lake!
Wiz: While that may not sound that bad, Jason didn't know how to swim and ended up drowning that day...
Boomstick: Where were the counselors during all of this!?
Wiz: Oh you know just fucking around... literally.
Boomstick: Ohhh 80's movies.
Wiz: As a result Jason's mother lost her mind and decided to go on a killing spree to avenge her son's death. In fact, she would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for that meddling girl name Alice who decapitated her.
Boomstick: And just when you thought all of this was over... NOPE! Jason actually survived his watery demise and went on a killing spree to avenge his mother's death. Like mother like son.
Wiz: Only to you know... die again.
Boomstick: And then he returned a second time, but resurrected as an unstoppable zombie! Donning his iconic hockey mask to hide his rotten face and wielding a machete, Jason is one tough son of a bitch to kill.
Wiz: He stands 6'8" tall and weighs 270 pounds. Jason's primary method of attacking is by overpowering his foes with pure strength and raw power. He is capable of flipping a car, crush skulls with his bare hands, can shatter doors, throw people through walls, thrust his arm all the way through his victim's chest, and a single uppercut caused a poor dude to lose his head.
Boomstick: While Jason doesn't talk he is quite resourceful and is able to use just about anything in his environment as a deadly weapon: Using a branch to impale a person onto a tree, crush someone by bending their bed into itself, dunk someone's head into a sink of liquid nitrogen, or even wrapping a person in their sleeping bag before swinging them around like a club! Umm I know Jason is strong and all, but I don't even understand how he manages to catch up to people when walking!
Wiz: Well Jason is a lot quicker than you think. There have been occasions where Jason has been able to outrun an average human, somehow appear in front of his victims even when he was far behind, and is even fast enough to dodge gunfire by military groups and killed them before they can even react! This means he can track the bullets moving at over 2493 feet per second or 760 meters per second.
Boomstick: How is this even possible!
Wiz: And even when underwater Jason been able to blitz people! Now how about we discuss the elephant in the room: Jason's insane durability.
Boomstick: The dude has survived being shot at by a FBI task force, toxic waste being splashed all over his body, some explosions, getting crushed by large objects, and even Freddy fucking Krueger in the dream world with his reality warping like powers had a tough time trying to kill him. Jason literally just gets up or acts like nothing happened to him Terminator style.
Wiz: However, as he may seem Jason isn't completely indestructible and has been killed and defeated multiple times before. Also while he isn't really dumb his intelligence is kind of lacking other than just slashing his victims repeatedly.
Boomstick: But even with these faults, this just goes to show how Jason Voorhees is one of the most terrifying and famous horror slashers of all time!
Mrs. Voorhees: "Did you know a young boy drowned the year before those two others were killed? The counselors weren't paying any attention... They were making love while that young boy drowned. His name was Jason."
Gill-man[]
(Cue Creature from the Black Lagoon Theme)
Wiz: The Black Lagoon is a legendary and mysterious lagoon located within the Amazonian jungle. Many people have entered and none have returned.
Boomstick: I'm guessing a certain humanoid monster has something to do with this?
Wiz: Yes, the Gill-man, who also goes by the names of the Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Swamp Creature, and the Amphibian Man. The Gill-man is the last member of a race of amphibious humanoid-like creatures that thrived in the lagoon all the way back to the Devonian Age.
Boomstick: Gill-man is stated to be around 7 to 8 feet tall and weigh approximately 300 pounds!
Wiz: The creature originally behaves to be defensive, defending his territory from intruders and preying on any potential food. In fact, it was us humans' fault that caused him to be so aggressive and violent because we never left him alone.
Boomstick: Complete idiots....
Wiz: Kind of funny considering the number of cities, planets, and people that were destroyed just because we wanted to see which characters we pit against would win in a fight.
Boomstick:....
Wiz:.... Anyway, Gill-man has heightened senses that allow him to detect moving targets on land while underwater.
Boomstick: Gill-man primarily attacks with his sharp claws and superhuman strength.
Wiz: He is capable of tearing through metal nets like butter, strong enough to almost flip a 35 to 40 feet long boat, snapped a metal bar with ease while drugged, flipped several cars, knocked someone out with a weak slap, and is able to crush a person's head without much effort. Gill-man is a stealthy and quick swimmer, swimming fast enough to avoid an underwater camera taking pictures at him, keeping pace with a fast boat for several hours, and a radar was unable to pinpoint his location due to his impressive speeds.
Boomstick: His body is covered in extremely tough scales, which combined with his healing factor makes him pretty hard to kill. Gill-man is capable of shrugging off a harpoon getting launched into its back and abdomen, survived getting shot by machine guns and rifles up close, third degree burns, isn't fazed by a stun baton, and even survived getting blown up by dozens of TNT scattered across the lagoon.
Wiz: It is noted that while it did survive the explosion it was thrown into a coma for many hours. Gill-man does have several weaknesses: It is annoyed by intense lights, its skin is quite flammable, and can only stay out of water for so long before it becomes weak and possibly even die.
Boomstick: Though that last weakness does become useless when the Gill-man adapts!
Wiz: Yup, after taking so much damage and injuries from the first movies he gains a new set of lungs, increased strength to where he can bust through brick walls with ease, a higher intelligence, and a bulkier appearance.
Boomstick: But at the cost of becoming a worst swimmer and being unable to breathe underwater. What a shame....
Wiz: In fact his adaptation might have even cost his life as in the end it was implied the creature died from drowning. Overall, this just shows how the Gill-man will be remembered as one of Universal's scariest and most iconic monsters.
David Reed: "We've just begun to learn about the water and its secrets, just as we've only touched on outer space. We don't entirely rule out the possibility that there might be some form of life on another planet, and why not some entirely different form of life in a world we already know is inhabited by millions of living creatures?"
Intermission[]
Wiz: The combatants are set.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLEEE!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
It's night time at Camp Crystal Lake. A full moon shines brightly upon the large body of water. The screams of several counselors can be heard echoing throughout the area. In a quick montage Jason slices a guy clean in half, he twists a girl's head 180 degrees, and rips someone's heart out and crushes it in his palm, splashing blood onto his mask. The last counselor makes an escape towards the lake's dock, where a nearby boat can be seen waiting. However, with quick precision Jason throws his machete straight through his target's chest.
The last counselor: Ohh....
He looks down to see the bloody machete poking out his chest before falling forward off the dock and into the lake. Jason then slowly descends underwater to retrieve his weapon. As he pulls the blade out blood begins to leak everywhere, turning a small portion of the lake red. Jason however doesn't care, but someone or something else does and has been attracted by the smell of blood.
Underwater Jason senses that he is not alone in the lake. He looks behind him to see... nothing, but when he looks forward the Gill-man tackles him and rams him across the bottom of the lake until they smack into a large rock.
FIGHT![]
Jason and the Gill-man get a good look at one another. Gill-man roars at Jason, revealing his sharp teeth. Jason responds by tilting his head, which he then punches the creature off of him. The hit sends Gill-man hurling around in the water for several seconds until he manages to stop himself. He roars out in anger and swims away at an impressive speed. He returns by speed blitzing Jason in every direction. The creature slashes at the zombie with his claws, tearing his clothes and skin apart. Just then Mrs. Voorhees' voice begins to speak in her boy's head.
Mrs. Voorhees: Jason don't let it hurt you. Kill it Jason! Kill it!
Jason catches the fist of the Gill-man. He knees the amphibian man in the stomach then swings his machete at his neck. However, Gill-man quickly notices and catches Jason's arm. Gill-man opens his mouth and bites deep into Jason's shoulder, who doesn't seem to be affected by the bite. Jason shakes Gill-man off of him, who then attempts to swim away but Jason won't let him escape this time. He grabs the swamp creature's webbed feet and slams him hard onto the ground which creates a big cloud of dirt.
Gill-man kicks Jason several times in the face and slashes at the zombie's hockey mask, causing him to lose his grip. Jason goes in for a swing with his machete, but the Gill-man swims under the attack and wraps around Jason's back. Gill-man carries his opponent quickly to the surface of the lake where he throws Jason straight through the bottom of the wooden dock. Jason sits up and looks at all the debris. Gill-man jumps out of the water and does a superhero landing on the dock. He growls at the slasher.
Jason: Ki, ki, ki; ma, ma, ma.
Jason grabs his machete and walks forward to battle. Gill-man roars as he tears a big wooden plank off of the dock. When Jason is close enough Gill-Man swings the plank into his side. It shatters to pieces against Jason who barely flinches. Jason swings his machete his weapon downward, which Gill-man reacts by jumping out of the way. The machete suddenly gets lodged in the floor. Gill-man slashes at the undead Jason's arm until he lets go of his weapon.
Gill-man leaps at his foe and bites into his neck. Blood seeps out of Jason as a claw is thrust into his side with the other claw going into the shoulder. In anger, Jason pries Gill-man off of him. Grabbing the ancient humanoid by the head and throat, Jason choke slams him hard through the dock and into the water below. Believing he won the fight Jason walks away into the forest when a familiar roar can be heard from behind. Gill-man was still alive and was very pissed. Jason looked around his surroundings where he spots an axe left on a tree stump.
Jason: Ki, ki, ki; ma, ma, ma.
Jason walks forward for round two with his new weapon. Gill-man growls as Jason swings the axe to the side. He misses and accidentally chops a small lamp post to the ground. Gill-man makes a similar leap at Jason, who this time perfectly lands a hit with the axe. Gill-man falls on the floor, giving Jason enough time to repeatedly land several more hits with the axe. However, Gill-man's tough scales give him some protection agains the blows.
Gill-man tries to go back into the lake, but Jason doesn't let him. He grabs the creature from the Black Lagoon by the legs and tosses him at the boat from earlier. Gill-man crashes hard on top of the boat, causing the two to sink. Minutes go by as Jason waits to see if the monster was still alive. Suddenly, Jason loses his footing as the dock quickly collapses into the water. Underneath the pile of debris Jason punches his fist out similar to a zombie's hand coming out of the ground.
Jason crawls his way out as the Gill-man quickly dropkicks him in the back, knocking Jason onto his face. Nearby an opened box reveals a speargun. Jason grabs it and fires a harpoon at Gill-man's stomach area. As Jason reloads another harpoon, Gill-man pulls the previous projectile out of him. Jason then fires the second harpoon but Gill-man dodges it this time.
Gill-man shoulder charges his opponent to the ground. With Jason pinned, Gill-man opens his mouth wide to chomp on his head. Jason grabs the vicious creature by the mouth to hold him back. One of Gill-man's fingers then jab Jason in the eye. Blood leaks out as the finger goes deeper into Jason's skull.
Mrs. Voorhees: Jason don't let him bully you like the kids from a long time ago or you'll make me very upset!
As Gill-man's mouth gets closer and closer, Jason notices that there is one more harpoon left. He reaches and grabs it before shoving the projectile straight through Gill-man's mouth, piercing through the back of Gill-man's head. The amphibian humanoid suddenly goes motionless.
Mrs. Voorhees: You made mommy proud Jason. Now come back home it is time to rest.
Jason emerges from the lake with his machete and the Gill-man's head. He walks back home to present his mother with a new wet gift.
- KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: WOAH! What happened!
Wiz: Gill-man clearly had the experience since he's been hunting and killing since ancient times and had the advantage in water. However, Jason kind of outclassed him in other categories like being more resourceful, faster, durable, and stronger.
Boomstick: Especially on land Jason takes the win.
Wiz: Jason has been fast enough to dodge gunfire and outrun people in his walking speed! Gill-man is also quite fast but only when he is swimming in water and even there he has failed to dodge harpoons. For strength both characters have been shown to lift cars, break metal, and crush their victim's head without effort.
Boomstick: But Jason slightly took this as shown when he uppercutted someone's head off with a single hit as well as shatter doors with ease.
Wiz: As for durability this was a pretty easy answer: Jason has tanked getting shot at by gunfire from all angles, explosions, and punishment from Freddy Krueger!
Boomstick: Gill-man's tough scales have also granted him protection against attacks and punishment like getting shot at as well, blown up, stabbed, and more. Though, some of these still resulted in him getting knocked out. Jason on the other hand just got back up immediately or just straight up took it like a champ. Talk about determination!
Wiz: Gill-man is also at a disadvantage thanks to him having to rely on staying in a body of water to survive. If he'd leave it for way too long he'd might up end up killing himself.
Boomstick: Looks like Gill-man is swimming with the fishes.
Wiz: The winner is Jason Voorhees!
Next Time! []
