For JackytheJack's eleventh death battle, they have decided to take all of the losers from the first season and pit them all against each other to see who's the best loser. Quick warning that this is going to be a long battle so you may wanna be prepared.
Interlude[]
Boomstick: Uh, Wiz, can you tell me why we're doing this again? Like, I don't see why this is necessary.
Wiz: I mean, There's no reason why we shouldn't. Besides it's just what the script says.
Boomstick: I mean, okay I get it the script says it but-
Wiz: Since we're approaching the season finale, and a lot of combatants have fallen, it's time to see who's the best loser of them all.
Boomstick: And the best way to solve that is to put them all in an arena and have them fight to the death, hosted by...who the hell is Jacky?
Wiz: I...don't know. Er...Lucio! Overwatch's Supportive music maker,
Boomstick: Amumu, the Rift's very own sad mummy,
Wiz: Ashe, the ice queen of Avarosa,
Boomstick: Jeff the Killer, one creepy pasta,
Wiz; Jane the Killer, a female creepypasta, and hunter of Jeff,
Boomstick: Ugh...Paul Blart, the mall cop,
Wiz: Raphael, the cool but rude ninja turtle,
Boomstick: Makarov, the terrorist that sparked World War 3,
Wiz: The Koopa, Bowser's loyal minion, and member of the Koopa Troop,
Boomstick: And Aiden Pearce, the Hacker of Chicago, the Fox, the Vigilante. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Lucio[]
Wiz: In the distant future, there was an event known as the Omnic Crisis, which had plunged the world into a state of panic and destruction. One of the places that was hit particularly hard was the country of Brazil, and especially the country of Rio de Janeiro.
Boomstick: To help the city of Rio and the Brazilians living in, well, Brazil, two companies rose up to the occasion to help rebuild the cities. one of them was Colado, and the other was Vishkar. Together they would help to rebuild the town.
Wiz: And then the Colado building blew up for mysterious reasons.
Boomstick: Jeez, I wonder what had started that.
Wiz: Well, with Colado out of the way, Vishkar had the freedom to do to Rio whatever they wanted, and they basically abused everyone in the city. They installed a curfew and used the entire city as a source of cheap labor.
Boomstick: Though, unfortunately for Vishkar, there was one smart young man who was going to put an end to this oppression, and play some bitching music while doing so.
Wiz: And his name...was Lucio.
Oh, let's break it down!
Wiz: Already being friendly with the neighborhood kids, and being a fairly successful DJ, Lucio was well known in the populace of Rio, though no one knew that he would quickly become a freedom fighter.
Boomstick: Using only his brains and a knack for invention, like some Brazillian Jimmy Neutron, Lucio had built himself a gun that shot sonic energy as a lethal force, and mechanical legs that allow him to run on walls, and run super fast.
Wiz: Super fast is a bit of a generic statement, Wiz. Lucio is so fast that he races fellow Overwatch member Tracer on the regular, just for fun.
Boomstick: And with his speed and his weapons, Lucio was able to start up a resistance and kick Vishkar the heck outta Rio, and he quickly became a world famous DJ. Guess being a freedom fighter gets you a lot of street cred.
Wiz: And afterward, Lucio was offered a position in Overwatch, which he had accepted gratefully. Now he's a part of a world peacekeeping effort.
Boomstick: Which involves him fighting people like Reaper, Winston, and some of the most badass characters in his universe.
Wiz: And Lucio certainly has the arsenal to do so. His sonic amplifier isn't just for dropping a beat. It charges a burst of three power spheres of sonic energy, which can be incredibly lethal if applied to the head. Lucio is also able to play a song over the amplifier, one of which heals him, and the other makes him move faster. He can also amplify his music, which would increase the effect of the music.
Boomstick: And that's only the half of it. While switching between these songs is all good, there's also his blast of sound, which sends a huge wave of sonic energy so powerful that it knocks just about anyone several feet back.
Wiz: This even applies to people such as Reinhardt or Roadhog, who easily weigh over two hundred pounds, and D.Va is likely even heavier with her mech, but they all get pushed back an equal distance.
Boomstick: And when he really needs some protection, he has his ultimate ability, Sound Barrier. While it could definitely use a cooler name, this ability can make Lucio a temporary bullet sponge.
Wiz: When using Sound Barrier, Lucio releases a type of sonic boom around him, the force of his amplifier becoming so powerful that bullets seem to lose either some or all momentum, making them deal less damage or being completely useless.
Boomstick: I still can't believe music can do that. Like, if I play my boombox loud enough, do I just block bullets?
Wiz: Please don't test that. Your taste in music is horrible.
Boomstick: Hey, don't you insult my favorite bands!
Wiz: Fine, fine. Well, despite the abilities Lucio had given himself, he's not invincible. In fact, he's far from it.
Boomstick: While Lucio is able to heal damage, he can't take a lot of it himself. It doesn't take much for the guy to keel over and die, and not only that, but his DPS is like really slow if he's not aiming for the head.
Wiz: And to top it all off, despite being what's basically a revolutionist, Lucio doesn't have any official military training, which means that he could lack the skill and experience he needs in a fight.
Boomstick: Though, Lucio is still one badass DJ, and he's one hell of a team player. One thing is for certain, don't cross Lucio, or he's gonna drop the beat on ya.
I make this look good...real good.
Amumu[]
Wiz: In the world of League of Legends, champions of all shapes and sized come together in the arena and fight to the death, in an epic struggle to get to the other team's base and then destroy it completely.
Boomstick: Though, no one really knows why they have to fight, especially when some of these champions really shouldn't be teaming up, considering that some of them hate each other, but who am I to judge?
Wiz: While the story behind the summoners and the rift is a little bit of a mystery, what is not a mystery are the backgrounds behind the champions. They all come from some very colorful backstories, filled with emotion, and sometimes heroism or villainy.
Boomstick: Wiz, you and I both know that there are some champions that have hidden backstories, and one of them happens to be the League's very own sad mummy child, Amumu.
I thought you'd never pick me...
Curse of the Sad Mummy Instrumental
Wiz: Well, yes, that is true. Not many people know about Amumu. One of the theories is that he was part of a royal bloodline in the lost empire of Shurima, while others say he was just a poor lost boy who had come down with a curse.
Boomstick: Though most people agree that Amumu has been given a curse, a death curse in particular. Anyone that Amumu touches is basically doomed to death, though we're going to have to tone that down for the fight like we did last time.
Wiz: Well, yes, we will, but Amumu still does have a curse on him that plays a role in the game. This death curse, though, has sentenced Amumu to a life of loneliness, another constant in the myths. Amumu then walks the world, searching for a friend, someone to accompany him in his loneliness.
Boomstick: Amumu's got a ton of abilities that revolve around his sadness, bandages and generally just his emotions.
Wiz: Such as his bandage toss, where Amumu takes one of the bandages on his body and throws them at his opponent. This will bind the enemy in place as Amumu pulls himself towards the enemy to attack them.
Boomstick: Wiz, I think you're overlooking the fact that Amumu does this to every enemy, including Blitzcrank, the hulking robot, Corgi, the guy on a plane, and Galio, who is a fucking walking statue that is like multiple stories tall! This little guy is like the Hulk! A mummy, child version of the Hulk!
Wiz: Well, yes, that's a very impressive feat, but it's not the only ability that Amumu possesses. He also has his ability Despair, which causes him to cry uncontrollably.
Boomstick: While that also makes the enemy feel really guilty about their decision, it also leads to Amumu having an AoE attack which hurts anyone around him, and the pain keeps coming back, every second is pain when around the crying mummy child.
Wiz: And he also has his ability Tantrum, where Amumu is suddenly filled with uncontrollable anger. His overall defense increases, as well as how much damage he can deal to someone at any given time. Not only that, but the more he's hit, the quicker it takes for Tantrum to come back from cool down.
Boomstick: Jesus, he's already strong, but he gets stronger from anger? A'nd he's green? I told you, he's the Hulk!
Wiz: Boomstick, it's not the Hulk. They just have similar characteri-
Boomstick: Amumu vs. Hulk confirmed!
Wiz: Boomstick, stop.
Boomstick: Alright, alright. Well, all of Amumu's normal abilities don't match to his ultimate, Curse of the Sad Mummy. When he uses then, Amumu basically entangles everyone in the area in bandages, making them unable to move for a couple of seconds, and it deals a lot of damage.
Wiz: Rooting them in place also leaves them open to some attacks by Amumu, leading to some massive damage being dealt.
Boomstick: Well, if he's not the Hulk, he's certainly some kind of monster. In the music video he was featured in, he was able to destroy an entire town!
Wiz: Though, while he's strong, he's certainly not invincible.
Boomstick: Well, yeah. One of the main problems is that Amumu is pretty slow, making it hard to pull off a getaway if he's wounded.
Wiz: Not only that, but his emotions can blind him and make him unable to think straight, leading to some careless decisions that could lead to him being injured.
Boomstick: But even then, you gotta admit that Amumu is a tank that should not be messed with. He may not have that strong of a death curse, but cross this little guy, and you're dead.
Shows footage of the Sad Mummy music video, with Amumu destroying the town.
Ashe[]
Wiz: In the northern reaches of the world of League of Legends, there lies a place called Avarosa, an ever growing kingdom filled with people who are revered as skilled warriors, capable of doing just about anything if it involves warfare. They are capable people, and even more capable warriors.
Boomstick: Sounds like my kind of people! The kingdom of Avarosa is even lead by one cool Queen who's able to dish out the pain whenever she has to, and as it turns out, she has to do that a lot. I guess it comes with the job of being a champion.
Wiz: That's correct. The people of Avarosa are lead by an ice cold queen, one who almost died after her succession, but was able to overcome her attackers and become the uniter of the Freljord.
Boomstick: And her name is Ashe.
Pikachu, I choose you!
Boomstick: No, not that one!
No one escapes my aim.
Boomstick: There we go, that's better.
Wiz: Ashe's journey started shortly after she inherited the title of ruler, which was a big responsibility, but Ashe had the ambition to fit the role. She wished to unite the tribes that would later make up Avarosa, to unite the Freljord entirely.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, most of the people in the Freljord like to kill, so they wanted to kill Ashe so she couldn't stop them from killing. God, politics are awful.
Wiz: While she was being chased by her attackers, she was lead by a bird through the icy cold tundra, and eventually came upon the tomb of Avarosa, an ancient queen of the Freljord, and with that tomb was her magical bow made of ice.
Boomstick: The ice bow was useful for Ashe when she preceded to kill literally everyone who was chasing her down, single handedly. I mean, you gotta admit, that's impressive!
Wiz: Ashe would later come back to reclaim her tribe, which she renamed to Avarosa in honor of the former queen.
Boomstick: Bit on the nose if you ask me, but it's not like anyone's going to go against her. I mean, she's got some scary abilities that'll leave you frozen in fear. Heh, get it?
Wiz: Yes, Boomstick. I get it. Why don't you talk about those abilities instead of making jokes?
Boomstick: Oh, yeah! Deadly things! Well, Ashe's first skill is Ranger's Focus, where, after she builds up focus by...hitting things, I guess, she can unleash arrows from her bow like it's some burst action rifle, which can deal a heck of a lot of damage.
Wiz: Ashe can only shoot out so many bursts before she has to stop, but by that point, there would be a massive amount of damage dealt to her opponent, which can lead to a quick kill, if Ashe moves fast enough.
Boomstick: And even if she doesn't, any attack of her bow can cause an opponent to slow down due to being...cold, I guess. Though, that's besides the point. What else does she have, Wiz?
Wiz: Her other ability is Volley, which shoots out nine arrows in a cone in front of her, hitting and slowing anyone in its path. This can be useful to attack champions who are trying to run away, or are just trying to get around her.
Boomstick: And her third, and most boring ability, is Hawkshot, which basically just...sends a hawk wherever she tells it too and...scouts out the area. Not fun.
Wiz: And her ultimate is Enchanted Crystal Arrow. This is an attack that has basically infinite range, passing through walls and otherwise, and once it hits an enemy, it stuns them depending on how long the arrow has travelled. It's powerful for if you want to stop an opponent.
Boomstick: You'd think that with how often she can slow people down, Ashe would be pretty unstoppable, but that's far from truth.
Wiz: That is true. While Ashe hinders other champion mobility, she has nothing to boost her own mobilityIf encountering a fast champion, Ashe may have no means of escape.
Boomstick: Not only that, but Ashe is pretty squishy as well. She can't take much sustained damage otherwise she's down for the count, which seems a bit inexcusable for a queen, but who am I to judge?
Wiz: With that being said, it surely wasn't luck that lead to Ashe building up her kingdom. She's truly an archer to be reckoned with.
Jeff the Killer[]
Wiz: Out of all the internet creepypastas, or really just scary stories, none of them have been as famous as Jeff the Killer.
Boomstick: Actually, Wiz, that would probably be Slenderman, because I think he still counts as a creepypasta, but he's definitely the second famous.
Wiz: Or, well...alright. Fine. Well, Jeff's story is definitely one of the most tragic of the characters on this list.
Boomstick: I mean definitely doesn't beat Amumu, but yeah. Being one of the newest kids in his suburban neighborhood, along with his brother Liu, Jeff had no idea his life was going to get really rough.
Wiz: It had started while he was waiting on the bus stop with his brother Liu, when three bullies had attacked him. Demanding money and threatening them with violence, Jeffery Woods did the only thing he could do.
Boomstick: Beat the absolute shit outta them! Singlehandedly, too! Damn, that's one tough cookie.
Wiz: Though, it seemed to be the wrong thing to do at the time, because later on ,when Jeff was at a party at one of his neighbor's houses, the three bullies had attacked again, and they wanted revenge.
Boomstick: And they even brought guns this time! High school kids, Wiz, they're the scariest things on earth.
Wiz: Though, against all odds, Jeff once again was able to beat them singlehandedly, but not without getting hurt before hand.
Boomstick: Getting hurt is one hell of an understatement Wiz. I mean, this kid got set on fire, and even had glass pressed into his face. After he survived the ordeal, though, he turned into something that looks like the Joker and my ex wife had a baby. Actually, I think she did hook up with that guy...
Wiz: After he had gotten home from the hospital, having recovered from his numerous injuries, Jeffery had decided to cut a permanent smile into his face and cut his eyelids off, apparently making himself beautiful, in his eyes.
Boomstick: How does he even blink!? Seriously his eyes should be completely dried up by now!
Wiz: Well, that doesn't matter. What does matter is that on that day, Jeffery Woods died, along with the rest of his family, and a new persona was born: Jeff the killer.
Go to sleep...
Boomstick: Though as a killer Jeff hasn't really been doing much with himself. He was able to kill his whole family, and probably gave some people some pretty bad nightmares. He also made some girls weak in the knees I guess, which is weird...
Wiz: However, Boomstick, you're forgetting his most interesting quality, which is his durability. For whatever reason, Jeff is just a lot more durable than people should be, especially for a teenager.
Boomstick: Well, yeah, you'd have to have something special about you if you can survive being burned alive and have glass smushed into your face. Apparently he also fought Slenderman at one point, too?
Wiz: Well, that's not even close to the original material, so we'll ignore that, though it's still impressive that he's been able to go through this long without being caught.
Boomstick: Of course, because he's a teenager, he's got a hell of a lot of weaknesses.
Wiz: Right, such as his mental state being very poor. We saw it in his fight with Fazbear, a mental episode could be the death of him.
Shows Jeff getting his brain bitten out by Freddy
Boomstick: And also his eyesight! I mean come on, he really shouldn't be able to see at all! But, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say his eyesight is just piss poor.
Wiz: And not only that, but Jeff has really only attacked people who are asleep or defenseless, so he doesn't really have combat experience.
Boomstick: Still, though, you have to be doing something right if you can be the guy who spooks the entire internet, at least for a while. So, just watch out for Jeff, because he's still not someone you want to walk into in the dead of night.
Jane the Killer[]
I mean it just says music from my jane bio i dunno man
Boomstick: However, Jeff isn't the only killer that's been running around, and he's definitely not the only killer that came from that suburban neighborhood. Luckily, we'll only cover two of the three, and that's it.
Wiz: You see, as a side story that ties into the Jeff the Killer origin story, Jeff had a neighbor named Jane, and Jane had watched Jeff as he went on his path to insanity.
Boomstick: She was there when Jeff decided to beat up those three bullies to high hell, though she didn't do anything to stop it...which you think she would.
Wiz: She was even there when Jeff had to fight them again at the party, and was the one to call the police when she saw the fire burn down. She even bravely went inside the building to try and save a few people.
Boomstick: Only to faint the moment she saw Jeff burning alive. Jeez, what a wimp.
Wiz: After the whole ordeal, though, Jane was able to go home and sleep the night away. Little did she know that her life would change forever from that night onward.
Boomstick: You see, that was the night that Jeff sort of went insane and killed his family. And, to just get in the swing of the whole killing people who aren't your family, she decided to pay her family a visit.
Wiz: Well, actually it said that Jane's parents were at a dinner party at Jeff's house, but...that doesn't really make sense.
Boomstick: Which is why I ignored it Wiz! Jesus, use that brain of yours.
Wiz: Uh, right. Well, Jeff would then break into Jane's house, kill her parents, and then tie Jane up because....that's how the story went.
Boomstick: He then proceeded to try and make her just like him, pouring bleach on her and catching her on fire, calling the cops a while later just because he's a nice guy.
Wiz: Afterwards, Jane would be permanently disfiugred, her face a horrid mess.
Boomstick: Though, thankfully, just because he's so nice or whatever, Jeff gave her a porcelain mask to hide her ugliness, like I did with my ex wife! Ha!
Wiz: And ever since then Jane would swear that she was going to hunt Jeff down, find him, and kill him, as well as kill anyone who he was planning on killing, just so he couldn't get the satisfaction of a kill.
Boomstick: I mean, that's still kind of bullshit.
Wiz: And from that day on, she adopted a new persona, Jane the Killer.
Boomstick: And like Jeff, as her killer persona she didn't gain many cool-...what's this about a sixth sense? Can she see ghosts!?
Wiz: Not even close. Instead, Jane has electromagnetic reception, similar to a platypus, which allows her to see things she wouldn't normally be able to sleep, and not only that, but it allows her to get a good look at her environment without exactly having to look around her.
Boomstick: Damn, platypus girl. Now that's a cool hero. Marvel should make a movie about that one. She can team up with the mummy hulk!
Wiz: Ugh...well, even with her sixth sense, Jane has her weaknesses, like every human, and it's that...she's human.
Boomstick: She's human, she's not that strong, apparently faints at the sight of someone getting burnt alive, and has spent so long hunting down Jeff, but has never actually killed him. Jesus, the list goes on!
Wiz: Well, even then, Jane still serves as a good adversary to Jeff, and though her methods are off, she still can be seen as a force for good.
Don't go to sleep...you'll never wake up.
Paul Blart[]
Boomstick: Speaking of someone's weaknesses that I could go on and on about...
Wiz: Boomstick, come on, one last time, then you won't see him again.
Boomstick: Fine, whatever. So, Paul Blart. I can't even talk about this guy. Wiz, take it away.
Wiz: Paul Blart had been working as a mall cop in West Orange County Mall for ten years, with an oath to protect the law to the best of his abilities, riding his segway bravely across the complex.
Boomstick: Don't act like he's brave, Wiz. He's just an idiot.
Wiz: Well, Paul isn't exactly the smartest, no, but let me finish. One day, Paul was able to prove himself to his coworkers when the mall was being held hostage by criminals.
Boomstick: By sheer luck and stupidity, Paul was able to save the mall, get the girl, and do everything you'd expect the protagonist from one of these movies to do.
Wiz: And while he was in the process of saving the mall, he has shown...surprising durability. He was kicked by a horse once and came out of the situation completely unscathed, which is more than impressive considering a horse kick can exert 2,000 pounds of pressure per square inch, so the fact that he came out unharmed is shocking.
Boomstick: Not only that, but he once fell from the roof of the mall and into a ball pit without receiving any harm, though the bandit he took with him couldn't say the same. He was injured pretty badly.
Wiz: Blart is also capable of knocking people out with a single headbutt, though it leaves him dazed in the process. He also seems to have some sort of stealth skills, as he can sneak around a mall without being detected by the criminals.
Boomstick: Dumb luck, if you ask me. Anyways, the only way Blart shines is his arsenal, which is fairly impressive for a mall cop.
Wiz: Not only does Blart have the standard issue taser, which administers 12,000 volts of electricity, which is great for incapacitating someone, but he also has-
Boomstick: A gun that shoots pellets. Kind of like an airsoft gun, which is super lame. He also has two, uh...launchers? One of them shoots out glue to stick to people and slow them down, while the other one shoots out marbles which can cause an opponent to slip and slide like those thieves in Home Alone.
Wiz: Though, despite his arsenal, Blart's lack of intelligence means that he doesn't really use them to their fullest potential.
Boomstick: Yeah, and he's pretty slow, because he's...you know, big. He also has something called Hypo...hypoglycemia! Ha! Told you I could read it, Wiz! You owe me five dollars!
Wiz: Dammit...
Boomstick: Anyways, this hypo whatever basically means that if he overexerts himself, his blood sugar gets too low or something and he has to eat candy in order to not pass out or...can it kill him, Wiz?
Wiz: It can if left unchecked, yes.
Boomstick: Then yeah it can kill him. Sweet. Well, there you have it. That's Paul Blart, and that was quicker than I thought.
Wiz: Well, you still have to agree that Paul Blart is a man with surprising durability. There's a reason why he became the hero of the mall, after all.
Shows Paul Blart rocking on a Guitar Hero arcade game.
Raphael[]
'Boomstick: Now here's a guy that I can get behind! 'Start this up, Wiz!
Wiz: The streets of New York are tough and dangerous. Going out alone in New York could lead to you being mugged, assaulted, or something even worse.
Boomstick: The concrete jungle is definitely a dangerous place, which is why you need companions with you in this crazy world, which is definitely what Hamoto Yoshi was thinking when he adopted four adorable turtles.
Wiz: Though, soon afterwards, Hamato would be attacked by an unknown assailant and come into contact with a mutagen, along with the four turtles. Considering the last thing Hamato touched was a rat, he turned into a humanoid rat and took up the name Splinter, but the turtles, who touched a human last, had turned into something different. They turned into humanoid turtles.
Boomstick: And not only did Splinter decide to adopt them, but he even decided to teach them his ways in karate in the martial arts!
Wiz: And this was how they'd form the New York crime fighting team known as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
TMNT Theme (might want to bring the volume down so the words don't distract you)
Boomstick: Heroes in a half shell! Turtle power!
Wiz: Quite right. Well, the turtles consisted of four members: Leonardo, the leader of the four,
Boomstick: Donatello, he does machines.
Wiz: Michelangelo, the party dude,
Boomstick: And the cool but crude Raphael, the red ninja turtle!
"All right, an all you can BEAT buffet!"
Wiz: All of the turtles have their own signature weapons that they master. Raphael's happen to be the sai. Two of them, to be exact, and while Sais have been shown to be blunt, Raphael's seem to have a sharpness to them, as he can stab them right through robots.
Boomstick: Sais are also used to try and catch the blade in the middle of two of the three prongs. This allows someone to be able to disarm an opponent, though it really doesn't work if you're fighting with someone who's not using a blade.
Wiz: Though, even then, Raphael has done some impressive things with those sais, such as climbing a mountain simply by stabbing them into the rocky walls of the mountain, which makes it impressive that they're even usable still.
Boomstick: Heck, Raphael has even used these to break a metal sword, specifically Leo's, and Leo is a master at the sword, and he out weaponed him!
Wiz: Though, Raphael is capable of fighting even without his weapons. You see, Raphael practices Kobudo, or Okinawan martial arts, which revolves around punching, kicking, grapples and elbow drops.
Boomstick: Which perfectly fits Raph's personality, may I add. On top of that, Raphael just has some serious physical strength. He can throw someone into a wall so hard that the wall cracks, and can knock a stone soldier out with one punch. One punch to a guy made of stone!
Wiz: And, being a master of ninjitsu, Raphael is also quick on his feet. Quick enough to be able to dodge throwing stars thrown by another ninja mutant, and he can even dodge arrows, bullets, and on occasion lasers.
Boomstick: Raphael even has the build of a tank, considering that he can be thrown through walls and still get up, can tank laser blasts from a metal head, and has dealt with so many stronger enemies that it's not even funny. Jesus, this turtle still sounds unstoppable, and I even know that he lost his fight!
Wiz: Though, Raphael is definitely not unstoppable, Wiz. If you fight him at a range, there's not much eh can do due to a lack of throwing stars, and without his speed he's essentially nothing.
Boomstick: Yeah, not only that, but Raphael's hot headed attitude can really do him in.
Wiz: This was how he lost to his brother Mikey in the show, by getting so angry that he wasn't thinking, and accidentally hit himself, forcing him out of a competition he was in with his brother.
Boomstick: Though, you gotta admit, Raphael is one hotheaded, badass dude, and one of the best heroes New York can ask for.
"We live together, we train together, we fight together, we stand for good together... we are ninjas. We strike hard, defend and protect and fade into the night, and there ain't no bad guy or monster that's gonna ever change that. That's what is important and that's why we will always be... brothers."
Makarov[]
Wiz: Some people would go to any extent to accomplish their goals. No obstacle is too large, and no distance is too great.
Boomstick: And no life is too precious, whether man, woman or child. There's nothing these guys won't do if it'll lead them to victory.
Wiz: This mindset perfectly fits the Russian ultranationalist, Vladimir Makarov.
"Remember, no Russian."
Boomstick: Makarov's rise to infamy started when he joined the russian military as a paratrooper with not much to his name, but eventually his patriotism led him to be a part of the Russian special forces, the Spetznaz.
Wiz: While he was part of the special forces, he had taken multiple tours of Chechnya, where he'd treat the populace as awfully as one could, and he did multiple acts of ethnic cleansing, eventually leading the UN to investigate these human rights violations.
Boomstick: To avoid getting into big trouble, Makarov had resigned from the military, because apparently that absolves him, I guess? But this resignation only caused him to hate the Russian government, and the western nations.
Wiz: Filled with hatred for the western world, Makarov joined the ultranationalist party of Russia, lead by a man named Zakhaev.
Boomstick: And under the nationalist party, he was capable of doing some pretty nasty stuff, like blowing up a warhead in the middle of the Middle East, which killed a whole bunch of people, and that was before he took control of the party.
Wiz: After Zakhaev died, he took control, and he would eventually spark World War 3 after massacring an airport and leaving the body of an undercover American agent at the scene of the crime.
Boomstick: So it's safe to say that Makarov is one of the scariest terrorists in the Call of Duty universe. Of course, being such a scary guy means that he probably has some sweet weaponry, like his MP412, which is a six-shot revolver with some good damage and little recoil.
Wiz: And there's his Skorpion submachine gun, which is capable of shooting twenty rounds in rapid succession, which can quickly mow down a target if the shots hit their mark. It even has generally low recoil that makes firing the gun much more manageable.
Boomstick: And even without his firearms, Makarov is one clever, tough son of a bitch. He was able to hide from the entire US military, and was able to spark World War 3. A normal guy can't just do that.
Wiz: Makarov is even much more durable than you think he would be. He was able to take a lot of punishment from Captain Price in the final mission of Modern Warfare 3. He was able to survive a helicopter crash, and he was able to crawl out relatively quickly after landing.
Boomstick: And afterwards he took a shot from a handgun from close range, but that didn't stop him from killing the other military trained soldier before moving onto Captain Price.
Wiz: In the end, it took Price smashing Makarov through a glass ceiling and hanging him to put an end to the terrorist, and though he can take lots and lots of pain, the man has his flaws.
Boomstick: Well, yeah. You see, Makarov is more of a boss than a soldier nowadays. He doesn't really fight his own fights, but lets other people do it for him. He hasn't seen real combat in a long time, and he can be a bit rusty.
Wiz: Not only that, but he is only a human, and he has a finite amount of ammo that he can use, and it's not like his guns have huge magazines anyways.
Boomstick: Still, it's a tough thing to say that Makarov is not one scary son of a bitch!
"Russia will take Europe, even if it must stand upon a pile of ashes!"
Koopa[]
Wiz: Bowser. He's one of the most feared opponents of the mushroom kingdom, capable of disintegrating someone with his fire breath, or stomping them to death with his sheer size and weight, or impaling them with the spikes on his shell. Bowser is a monster who should not be messed with.
Boomstick: But unfortunately, we're not talking about the big turtle himself, but instead, we're talking about his minions, the loyal Koopa Troop.
Wiz: That's right. Being the Koopa King, Bowser has many minions at his disposal, but none are more present in his military than the koopas, turtle-like beings with shells that can withstand just about anything, and so many different forms that it almost puts Mario's forms to shame.
Boomstick: On their own, a Koopa isn't much. They kind of just walk around until they're stomped on, and then they go into their shell. Though their shell does take a lot of damage. However, Koopa's forms are absolutely insane, like his Paratroopa form, which lets the Koopa fly around in the air, and for a turtle, he's surprisingly good at it.
Wiz: And while one hit will rip those wings off of his back, a Koopa is a completely different opponent when it has those wings on its back. Another form a Koopa has, however, is its hammer bro form, where it pulls hammers out of...seemingly nowhere and is able to chuck them at its opponent, which can deal some pretty good damage if the attack lands.
Boomstick: And if hammers don't work, it can also add boomerangs to its arsenal, which also come from nowhere. These boomerangs have the advantage of coming back once the koopa throws them, and they even hover there in the air for a bit before coming back, which could be pretty annoying if you're trying to close the gap on them.
Wiz: Koopas even have forms such as Ice Koopa and Fire Koopa, which makes him capable of shooting fireballs and ice balls which can either burn or freeze opponents in a block of ice. When frozen, the Koopa could possibly pick up their opponent, if they're strong enough, but either way, a frozen opponent doesn't give much of a challenge.
Boomstick: And for their last form, they have the Koopatrol, which is basically a Koopa that put on a metal suit of armor, meaning that you can't jump on their head...at all. You think Bowser would just give that to all of his minions, considering it stops them from getting killed.
Wiz: Well, they're kind of cannon fodder anyways, which can possibly be a reason for their flaws. Koopa's aren't very smart. They're smarter than their comrades, the Goombas, but that's not really saying much.
Boomstick: That being said, they're also complete cowards, like the Goombas. Seriously, you'd think that when they go into their shell, they'd come out at some point, but they just stand there! Even when given the opportunity to attack! It's stupid.
Wiz: Add that to the fact that Koopa's aren't exactly competent in the first place, and you have a recipe for possible disaster on the battlefield.
Boomstick: But you gotta admit, the Koopa is one hell of a soldier, even if it's cowardly, it's surprisngly deadly when given a bit of bravery.
Aiden Pearce[]
Wiz: Most heroes in media are seen with particular weapons, ranging from their fists, a sword, to even guns. When it comes to the media, the types of weapons a character has are generally grandeur or cool looking.
Boomstick: But sometimes all you need to cause a hell of a lot of chaos is the phone and some pretty good hacking skills.
Wiz: This is wrapped up in a fairly nice package when it comes to Aiden Pearce, the protagonist of the game Watchdogs. Born in Belfast, Ireland, Aiden's mother had took him and his sister to America to move away from his father.
Boomstick: And once Aiden got to America, he started getting involved with gains and was getting into fights with a bunch of people. You know, like teenagers normally do.
Wiz: Aiden always had a knack for hacking, and when he met the fellow hacker, Damien Brenks, they worked together to hone each other's hacking skills, and they became the perfect partners in crime.
Boomstick: That is, until there was one job that went spectacularly bad, and it ended up splitting the two permanently, Aiden becoming his own hacker.
Wiz: Though, Aiden would end up having a bounty on his head. A hitman had been sent to kill him, and when the man had caught up to him, he had shot out Aiden's tires, causing the car to spin out and crash, killing his niece in the process.
Shows footage of Pearce's car crashing.
Boomstick: Wow, what a dick.
Wiz: It was at that point in his life that Aiden dedicated his efforts into finding whoever it was that put the hitman on him, to avenge his dead niece.
Boomstick: And along the way, Aiden happened to challenge the CTOS, which was basically a crappy version of Skynet which only extends to Chicago. At least, that's as far as Aiden's control goes.
Wiz: Aiden's skills of hacking were put to good use when he was able to hack into the security system, and therefor, the entirety of Chicago, and to do this, he uses a nifty little device called the Profiler.
Boomstick: Well, really it's just a smartphone that he gave a fancy name to, but whatever. The things he can do with this thing are insane, though! I mean, not only does he have the ability to just hack into people's bank accounts and gain their information, but he's also able to hack traffic lights, transformers, and even sewer pipes! I have no idea how that works!
Wiz: While hacking into his environment gives him specific advantages, such as closing off ways of escape for a target, or even killing someone if he deems it necessary, the Profiler does use up it's battery at a fairly quick pace when it hacks into something big, like the city's electrical system, or the traffic lights.
Boomstick: But that definitely didn't stop Aiden from making a whole block of a city experience a blackout.
Wiz: And it's not like Aiden is useless without his profiler either. His time spent on the streets helped him develop a fighting style of his own, which helps him take down opponents when stealth just won't cut it.
Boomstick: And when his fists don't cut it, he has an extendable twenty inch baton that he can use to beat someone over the head after sneaking up on them, though for some reason he doesn't really use this for...you know, actual combat. He only really uses it for a quick knock out.
Wiz: And when that doesn't even cut it, he has his 1911, a modified version of the special service M1911 handgun, with a silencer on the end of it. This is normally used for stealth, which is certainly Aiden's strong suit, but it's also a good weapon for when other bullets start flying.
Boomstick: And speaking of bullets, did we mention that Aiden had a bullet time like Neo? Seriously this guy just slows down time.
Wiz: Well, it's not that he slows down time and instead it's just that he runs on adrenaline, but yeah, you're right. Aiden's reflexes are phenomenal, and he can process things quicker than an average human can, and this helps him aim shots before firing, and being able to hack things before they pass by him, even in a speeding car.
Boomstick: Aiden is also pretty durable, too. He can take a lot of abuse from bullets from all sorts of guns, and he can even survive a few car crashes. It's pretty surprising considering he's just some normal dude.
Wiz: However, Aiden is anything but unstoppable, especially because he's, well, some normal dude. He can still easily fall to gunshots given sustained fire, and not only that, but if he's not in an environment that really favors his free running skills or his hacking, than he's at a huge disadvantage.
Boomstick: And there's also his obsession with stealth, which leads to actual combat being a little lackluster. Aiden prefers the element of surprise more than anything else, so direct confrontations aren't his forte.
Wiz: Though, there's a reason why Aiden is known throughout all of Chicago. He's the man that put the entire city under his fingertips, and he didn't earn that title easily.
"I don't look back anymore. I don't regret. I look forward. Everything is connected, and I'll use that to expose, to protect, and if necessary...to punish."
Pre-Battle[]
Wiz: Alright, all of the combatants are set. It's time to end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle Royaaaaale!
Death Battle[]
TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE ROYALE!
Lucio had woken up in what seemed to be some sort of cell. He had no idea how he had gotten there, though. He didn’t...he didn’t remember much at all. First he was in Watchpoint: Gibraltar, and then there was that blue haired girl, and then...he killed her? Was that right? Was this hell? Heaven? Some sort of purgatory?
Well, if that’s the case than purgatory was a really, really small place. Lucio would barely be able to stand up in a room like this. There was barely enough room for a bed, and for him to walk back and forth a little, but even then he could tell that he’d be hard pressed to turn around after getting to one side of the room.
Though, what caught the DJ’s interest was that, embedded into the walls, there was what looked like a television screen. There didn’t seem to be any buttons to turn it on, but watching some television wasn’t exactly the first thing on Lucio’s mind. Right now, he had to get outta there…
“Anybody out there?” Lucio called out while looked towards the only exit to the room, a door made out of solid steel. He couldn’t break through that, that was for sure. Only moments after he had spoke, there was a static noise as the TV in the wall burst into life.
“Oh, good, you’re all awake,” A voice said through the silence, though Lucio couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl. Though, he didn’t know why he cared either. The static on the screen slowly faded to life and he saw a little green...person, coming into view, wearing what looked like a ringleader outfit.
“Now, I’ll keep this brief, and you all follow my orders, okay? Good. Now, spawning into your room now should be your weapons, and a little green mushroom, yeah? At least one of you should know what that means.”
There was a sudden, light pop coming from the right of Lucio, and the Brazilian looked to see his sonic amplifier appear right next to him, and next to that, the green mushroom that the green thing was talking about.
“Go ahead and eat that. It’ll prepare you.” Lucio heard a snap and he was suddenly filled with hunger. Before he could even think about it, he had grabbed the mushroom and shoved it into his mouth, swallowing it in a few seconds and instantly feeling refreshed, and revitalized.
“Alright, good. Now, you should be prepared for what comes ahead. What does come ahead, I hear you ask? Well, even if you don’t ask, I don’t care. I’m going to tell you later. But for now…”
There was a clunk that rang throughout the small cell, and Lucio turned towards the door to see that it has suddenly disappeared. Maybe it had been pulled into the wall, or maybe it just disappeared. Either way, he was free now. Lucio would take this chance and roll out of the cell on his roller skating legs. Time to see where he was.
He stepped out into a bland, almost featureless corridor. The only thing that was worthy of note was the poster of him hanging up on the wall opposite of the door he had just came out of, the bright green being the only color in this dull, grey hall of solitude. Lucio examined the poster for a moment before looking down the hallway and seeing that there was a bright light on the end of the tunnel. Well, the only thing that he could do now was go forward. See what awaits him.
The stadium was filled with colorful lights, one of every color of the rainbow and then some. It was practically empty, except for one little, green alien looking thing standing in the middle of the room, the orchestrator of all of this. They stood in the center and grinned as the multicolored lights suddenly all turned a bright white, like normal lights should be, and, one by one, they began to shine towards the different doorways leading into the stadium, one loser after another coming in.
That’s right, losers. The ones who had lost their lives once and now all of them, except for one lucky one, would lose their life again, only to return back home and have no memories of any of this. God, they loved their job. It was the best part of their eternal existence, and now, the losers were there, all in a circle as they entered the stadium.
They all looked confused, and eyes turned to the little green...woman? Man? Whatever, it didn’t matter to the losers. Let’s see, two internet killers (both on the opposite sides of the room), a hero with a amp for a gun (their first victim, which they remembered fondly), a cop on a segway (god did they regret that), and a bipedal adolescent turtle. God, this was going to be some of the most fun they ever had.
“Welcome all to the battle arena!” The green one’s voice boomed out as if they held a microphone, but there wasn’t such a device in sight. They tipped their hat showman’s hat towards all of the combatants “My name is Jacky, and I am so excited to see what will happen tonight!”
“‘Ey, hate to burst your bubble,” the turtle spoke, causing the big, almost innocent looking eyes to turn to the cool but crude dude, “but what’s it that we’re doing here, huh?”
“Well, as you all know, you’ve died in one way or another. For some, it may have been brutally and filled with pain, and for others, perhaps it was quick and easy, but the point is, you’ve all died, and have been resurrected by me.”
“Oh, well, guess that sums it up don’t it?” The amount of sarcasm in the turtle was excessive. Lovely. “But why are we here?”
“I’m glad you asked, Raphael. Today, you are here to fight to the death once more, against all of the people around you! Ten combatants stand in this ring, and only one will make it out alive!”
“What? You’re going to kill us again?” This time it was the archer’s turn to speak. The failed queen of Freljord gazed at the little alien with an icy glare, but it didn’t faze the shorter of the two as they simply turned to her and smiled.
“Well, don’t freak out too much. Don’t want you scowling when the cameras are rolling.” A little metallic sphere floated down next to the alien, and they patted it on the head before it floated around the arena to record the contestants. “And don’t worry about that pesky death thing. Removing you from your universes in such a way would have some pretty bad consequences. Or, for some of you it would, so we’re not going to have that happen. Instead, you will be revived, and it’ll be as if none of this had ever happened. It’s a win win for all of us, really.”
As the little one spoke, the entire arena seemed to have changed. There were random mechanical devices that came out of the ground, boulders fell from the sky and trees suddenly grew out of the ground. It seemed this would be important for the battle, but the little green humanoid only laughed.
“This is going to be entertaining!”
“You think we’re just going to kill each other because you told us to? You can’t make us do anything!” The DJ talked this time. Of course he did, being the freedom fighter that he was. The little alien giggled and shook their head.
It was then that a sudden gunshot ran out throughout the stadium. Jacky had already known that Pearce over there was going to fire, so they simply brought up their hand and the bullet froze in mid air. They lowered their hand and chuckled. “Sorry, but I can’t die. Also, don’t waste your ammo, you’re going to need it, now, without any further distractions…
Jacky grabbed their hat and flung it up into the air. “Let the battle begin!” The hat exploded into a huge cloud of dust, which then spread across the entire arena and towards the combatants. By the time it reached them all, Jacky had disappeared from their position.
The combatants were suddenly filled with an unbridled hatred towards everyone around them.
A murderous rage.
Fight!
Jeff the killer had been quick to notice that there was a familiar face in the crowd. Even though he couldn’t see her face through the mask he had gifted her, he knew that she was glaring daggers at him. She didn’t even need any chemicals to get into some murderous rage over him. As soon as they heard the word fight, Jane had been charging towards him with murderous intent, Jeff was sure of that.
Well, Jeff wasn’t going to keep a lady waiting. As gunshots sprang up around him, and even hearing a bullet just barely whiz past his ear, Jeff brandished his knife and charged towards the other killer, his failed attempt at making someone just as beautiful as he made himself. He’d have to fix that real soon.
“You’re a dead man, Jeff!” Jane had shouted as she closed the distance between the two of them. She swung her knife in his direction and Jeff avoided it with a fairly calm sidestep. Gunfire exploded around them still as Jeff shook his head.
“Can’t be too hasty, Jane,” he said with a laugh before pouncing towards the teen, swiping his knife at her. He managed to just barely hit her shoulder and left a small cut there. Nothing that would even bleed. He barely grazed the skin, unfortunately.
Jane let out a groan of frustration before she turned around and sliced towards the boy again. She missed, but when Jeff tried to swipe at her, she was able to deflect his blade with her own and kick him in the side of the leg. Jeff’s knee buckled a little and she used this as an opportunity to swing her blade.
It hit the teenage killer right in the cheek, and the resulting slash was enough to have blood slowly trickle from his cheek and down his face, some of it dripping into his mouth, but he could only laugh as he felt the warmth slowly trickle down his skin.
“Oh boy, maybe this’ll be better than I thought!” Jeff let out a cackle before swiping towards Jane again, and she deflected it once more. Again and again did she deflect his attacks, but Jeff would only do the same to her. They seemed to be at a standstill.
Then, suddenly, in the middle of the fight, Jane had lunged forward and pushed Jeff out of the way. Right where Jeff’s head had been, the killer saw a blue arrow whiz past. That would have killed him if he hadn’t been pushed away. His eyes adopted a playful look as he glanced at Jane.
“Didn’t realize you-” Jeff was cut short as Jane cut his other cheek, the blood now trickling down the other side of his face, and Jeff could feel that cold stare from behind her cold, porcelain mask. Oh boy, she was angry.
“I just want to be the one to kill you, is all.” Jane swiped at Jeff once again, but the teen took a step back. With a slight narrow of his eyes, he tackled Jane and the two of them fell to the ground.
“Well, can’t let this end so quickly, can we?” Jeff let out another crazed laugh as the two began to wrestle on the ground, the sounds of chaos ringing out around them. Dammit! This was way too dangerous for Jane...
The Koopa had no idea how it had gotten here, but now it was in a battle to the death apparently? What the heck was even happening?! Well, the Koopa didn’t have much time to think about it, though, as while it was running behind cover, it had found someone else behind the cover it was taking. It was...some weird mummy child.
“Hey, get out!” Amumu screamed as he pressed his hands against the turtle’s shell and pushed him away from him. “Get out of here! Get out get out get out!”
The clearly aggravated mummy child pulled out what seemed to be one of his own bandages and flicked it towards the Koopa like a whip. The bandage whip hit Koopa right between the eyes, and the turtle stepped back before reaching a hand into its shell. A second latter, it pulled out a fire flower and devoured the head of it. It turned into a fire Koopa, and it was ready to get into action.
The Koopa would then begin to fire fireballs towards the mummy child, and the mummy child didn’t seem to be taking it fairly well. Amumu did his best to try and avoid the balls of fire, but one of them had actually ended up hitting him and knocking the mummy child back several feet.
While Koopa blinked and tried to figure out why its fireballs had gotten so powerful, Amumu had begun to get into a bit of a frenzy. The mummy child had let out a growl and hopped back to his feet. Within the course of a couple seconds, it had pulled out another one of his bandages and tossed them at the Koopa. It wrapped around the turtle’s shell and Amumu pulled himself towards the turtle, readying himself for a headbutt.
Before Amumu could get close to the turtle, though, the Koopa reached into its shell and pulled out a hammer. It brought its weapon back and slammed it down against the mummy child’s head. The turtle creature was almost sure it had made a dent in the child’s skull as the wrapped creature took several steps back.
A certain fire had sparked in Amumu’s eyes as he chuckled another bandage towards the Koopa. The turtle dodged out of the way and flung a hammer towards the mummy, followed by a fireball, but Amumu sidestepped out of the way from both of them and charged towards the turtle.
The Koopa became more and more frantic as the mummy child got closer. It tried chucking hammers and balls of fire its way but it wasn’t able to hit, as its aim had gotten terrible due to its panic. It wasn’t long until Amumu was on him. The first thing Amumu did was punch the Koopa in the side of the face. Afterwards, it wrapped the turtle around in a bandage. Putting all of his strength behind it, Amumu slammed into the turtle’s torso with his head, dealing a powerful blow to the Koopa.
As the resulting blow flew the Koopa straight up into the sky, Amumu yanked it back down to earth, slamming the Koopa straight into the ground, and tried to jump on it, to slam his entire body weight onto the turtle.
The Koopa reacted before it could be brutally murdered, however, and went back into its shell. When Amumu bounced on top of the shell, it suddenly took off….with Amumu’s bandages still wrapped around it.
Amumu screeched as the shell began to take it on some sort of journey around the stadium, the shell, and Amumu by extension, slamming into multiple walls as they travelled. Well, it seems like they were going to be busy. It’d be best to move on and see how the other contestants were doing.
Makarov had appeared to get himself into a gunfight, and it didn’t seem like he was gaining any ground, either. If he had been given more than a Skorpion and a revolver, maybe he would be able to do some more damage, but it didn’t really matter in the end, did it?
The man he was firing at, Aiden Pearce, a voice in his head told him, didn’t seem to be making much ground either. They both seemed to be having trouble aiming in the midst of all this chaos. All of the excess noise didn’t make it hard for Makarov to aim, though. He was used to it by now. With that being said, he still needed to watch out for other threats, which had taken his mind off of aiming.
With a deep breath, Makarov popped up from behind his cover and, conveniently enough, Aiden had done the same. Makarov aimed his revolver and was about to fire when there was a sudden, piercing pain in his shoulder, followed by a bitter cold.
Makarov let out a cry of pain and glanced to the side only to see some white haired woman with a bow seemingly made of ice, who was trying to nock another arrow into her bow. He cursed in Russian and fired at her twice, forcing her to run off. He then ducked behind cover right before Aiden pulled the trigger once more. Dammit! This was going to be much more difficult than anticipated.
The terrorist grumbled a few more curse words to himself before aiming his revolver over his cover and firing a few bullets. He heard a groan of pain and took this as his opportunity to go forward. He leaped over his cover, which was a simply fallen log, and charged towards Aiden.
The hacker of Chicago noticed the Russian charging towards him and realized he didn’t have enough time to pull out his gun and aim, so instead he pulled out his baton, quickly extending it and preparing for a fight.
Makarov had already tried to aim his revolver at the man, but Aiden was quickly on the draw and was able to knock the gun off course, the bullet flying into the air where it wouldn’t harm anyone. Aiden then slammed his baton into the side of Makarov’s head and the terrorist stumbled before aiming his Skorpion at the man before firing.
He was able to graze the hacker’s cheek, but it didn’t phase Aiden nearly as much as it should as he lunged forward and knocked Makarov in the side of the head once more. The terrorist suddenly fell to the ground, limp and Aiden rushed off before anymore fire could be directed towards him.
Little did he know that he didn’t actually kill the guy, but he did feign death for now, and he was planning on staying there for awhile, just to regain himself. He can play dead. He’s done worse in his life, after all. He just needed to think up a plan, is all…
Lucio had barely dodged the speeding, green turtle shell as it spun past him, and he also narrowly avoided the mummy child that was being dragged behind the Koopa like he was tied to the back of some car. Lucio shook his head as he watched the shell ricochet around the arena before focusing on his surroundings once again.
A good thing he did, too. He just barely noticed the arrow coming directly at him. He let out a yelp and spun out of the way, the arrow avoiding him, but he could feel the stinging cold from the arrow, which had really only missed its mark by a millimeter. To say that was a close one was a bit of an understatement, now, wasn’t it?
Lucio looked in the direction of the arrow and shot a few orbs of audible energy in that direction. They had, surprisingly enough, hit the archer dead on and she stumbled backwards, and Lucio could see that his attacks had done a bit of a number on her. He noticed all of her muscles tensed up as she began to nock another arrow into her bow.
A moment of lucidity seemed to have come over Lucio, however, as he looked down at the weapon in his hands for a mere moment before looking up at Ashe. “Hey, we don’t have to fight! I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“Well, I do!” The arrow in the archer’s bow glowed a bright blue and instead of one arrow coming out of the bow, eight of them came towards Lucio in an arc. Having nowhere to dash to, Lucio instead moved forward. An arrow embedded itself into his left leg, sending a few sparks out, but Lucio didn’t seem to be affected by it as he moved towards Ashe.
“You don’t get it, do you? I have a people to protect, and if I can’t defend myself, I have no chance of defending them!” With that said, Ashe shot a few more arrows in Lucio’s direction, arrow after arrow coming after him, the bow firing as fast as a machine gun.
Lucio activated a sound blast and the arrows were stopped in the air and dropped to the ground. “I understand, but I really don’t want to hurt you!”
“Just stop it!” As Lucio had moved closer, Ashe had swung her bow in his direction. It hit Lucio in the side of the head and he stumbled backwards, dazed. Ashe fired an arrow at him and it hit him right in the stomach.
The Brazilian doubled over in pain, pin which had caused his episode of lucidity to end, and he quickly changed the music he was playing to a healing one. “Alright, if that’s how you want to do this!”
Lucio fired another burst of energy spheres towards the Avarosan, and she barely had time to dodge them, and just as she was ready to fire another arrow, Lucio stepped in to close the distance on her. He threw one punch, right to the face, and then another, which hit the queen right in the shoulder, before delivering a burst point blank to her stomach.
Ashe stumbled backwards as she tried to recover, but it felt like her entire being was vibrating from the sonic attacks. Her muscles felt like jelly, and she found that it was hard to even stand up. By the time she recovered, Lucio sent out another audio blast, shooting Ashe several feet back and causing her to land on her back.
Despite the pain, Ashe forced herself to get back up and nock an arrow into her bow. She sent her hawk out to try and survey the area. She was surprised to find out someone was behind her. Someone with...some vehicle?
Ashe reacted quickly and turned around to fire. Well, this fight would really test her skill…
Raphael was already angry by the little green girl’s explanation of where they were and why they were here, and let’s just say the chemicals that made everyone angry weren't necessary for the Ninja Turtle, and it just added to the anger that was already there.
The moment he had saw movement, Raphael had pounced on it, jumping in front of the moving figure and stabbing his sais forward in an attempt to get a quick kill. So what if he was outnumbered? He’ll make quick work of everyone here and go back home. Simple enough, and no way out of the realm of possibility.
The man that he had stabbed at, however, the Hacker of Chicago, had reacted quickly enough to back away. He had his baton in one hand and a now fully loaded silenced pistol in the other. Within a second, he was able to aim his gun at Raphael and pull the trigger. Raphael had equally fast reflexes, and was able to move mostly out of the way in the time that Aiden had pulled the trigger, but the bullet had hit him in the arm and he winced.
“What the hell are you?” The man asked, his voice muffled by the cloth that covered his mouth, but Raphael didn’t answer as he simply moved forward and attempt to stab the Hacker once more. The hacker took another step back and fired towards the turtle once more before turning around and running away, though he was quickly followed by the red turtle.
“Faster than I thought,” Aiden muttered as he turned around and fired once before continuing to run away. Though, there was a sudden piercing pain in his leg and he toppled to the ground. He groaned out in pain as he looked down at his hand only to find several ninja stars embedded in his calf. Shit, he didn’t think that turtle had any range on him!
“Knew you couldn’t run forever,” he heard the turtle say, and a second later the mutant had loomed over the fallen man, twirling a sai in his hand. “One down, a couple more to go.”
Raphael was about to stab his sai down onto Aiden’s head, but he was suddenly tripped up when a turtle shell had hit him at full force. Raphael fell to the ground and lay there for a moment before a mummy child suddenly came running past, slamming into the turtle’s shell and sending him flying before being tugged after by the shell once more.
That Koopa has been saving people more than killing people…
Aiden sighed and looked at the weapons lodged in his legs. He shook his head and took a deep breath. This was going to hurt like hell. Slowly, one by one, he began pulling the ninja stars out of his leg, each one causing him to let out the lightest gasp of pain before he dropped them to the floor.
After he had removed all of the ninja stars, he slowly stood up, testing his leg out and seeing how well it’d do under pressure. Well, it hurt like hell, but it’s not like he was able
Jeff and Jane had been tumbling along the floor for a while now, trying to get the advantage over the other, and at some point Jane had lost her knife entirely, and now half of the battle had become struggling against the opponent, and the other half was just finding a knife to deliver the finishing blow.
After a few more minutes of tumbling, Jeff had eventually brought his head back and slammed it against the girl’s mask. He caused the material to crack slightly, and the resulting blow would knock Jane off her balance, and cause her grip to weaken significantly. This had allowed Jeff to push Jane off of him completely and stand up.
“About time,” Jeff said with a chuckle before searching the ground for the knife they had dropped. The glint of the metallic knife would catch his attention soon after and he would lunge towards it.
Jane seemed to have spotted it and had the similar idea, for she had lunged towards the knife as well. Jeff’s hand was redirected to try and punch her in the side of the head, but the porcelain mask seemed to protect her from the full force of the blow, as her momentum wasn’t stopped, and her fingers wrapped around the knife’s hilt.
“Yeah, about time I finish this,” Jane said as she suddenly brought the knife up and stabbed it into Jeff’s abdomen. The male’s muscles tensed up as Jane pushed the knife all the way in, down to the hilt of the knife.
Jeff stumbled back as he clutched at the knife hilt in his chest, his eyes seemed to be wide with surprise, but it was impossible to tell what emotions the boy was truly feeling. With a shiver running up and down his spine, he pulled the knife out, slowly and painfully, and threw it at Jane.
The girl simply move out of the way, however, and before Jeff could react, his legs were swept out from under him. Jane had picked up the other knife that was lost by the time it took for Jeff to recover from his injuries.
“Goodbye, Jeff.” Jane pressed the knife against the teen’s neck and slit his throat. The teen’s eyes rolled back into his head as he took his last, gargled breaths, blood seeping out of his throat.
K.O! 1/9
Jane took a deep breath as she stood up and stared at the dead body. The sounds of chaos suddenly became prevalent once more, and she couldn’t help but let out a laugh.
“I did it,” she said with joyful glee. “I killed him! I did it! I finally-”
She suddenly stopped her premature celebration when she sensed someone aiming a firearm at her. She leapt out of the way just as a gunshot ran throughout the arena. She turned around just in time to see Makarov aiming his machine gun towards her. Aw, crap!
Adrenaline rushing through her system, Jane ran behind one of the trees that the arena seemed to grow out of nowhere and sighed. A knife versus a gun. That was going to be an interesting matchup. Then again...probably nothing that she couldn’t handle...
Ashe hadn’t expected to be attacked shortly after the music man had blasted her several feet away from him. She also hadn’t expected the one to attack her to be some overweight man on a two wheeled vehicle, and no real weapons to his name. Perhaps today was just full of surprises, huh?
Ashe was able to sidestep out of the way of the attack and watch as the man just about rammed himself into a nearby tree. He would have collided with the flora had he not made a sudden, hairpin turn to the right to face Ashe once more.
“You’re going down!” The man in the officer uniform shouted before pulling out a gun and firing at the woman. It hit her straight in the chest, but it didn’t lead to anything more than a bruise on the queen’s chest as she nocked an arrow into her bow and drew it back.
As calmly as ever, Ashe had fired her bow towards the man, and the man just barely had enough time to duck out of the way before the segway he was riding on came charging towards her once again. This was just getting ridiculous.
Ashe rolled out of the vehicle’s path before nocking another arrow into her bow and firing. One arrow turned into eight arrows of pure ice as the volley had hit the man in the side, and one of the arrows had even hit the wheels of the vehicle. The entire vehicle slowed down, but the decreased speed didn’t stop the vehicle from spiraling out of control and crashing into the wall of the arena. The man fell off of his vehicle and onto the floor, obviously in pain.
“Pathetic,” Ashe muttered as she nocked another arrow into her bow. She didn’t even have to use her ultimate on a man such as this. She was debating on whether leaving him alive would be mercy or torture, as another person was just going to get to him, and probably put him in even more pain.
Though, while she was contemplating on finishing the man off right now, he had suddenly stood up and pulled out another weapon of his. He fired it at her and it hit her square in the face. She stumbled backwards and put a hand to her head, though as she stepped back, she stepped on something spherical. She lost her balance and fell onto her back. Ow! Son of a….
While she struggled to get up, the man had already set himself upon her. He had pulled out a taser and zapped her with it, causing Ashe to twitch around violently. After the electrocution, however, the man stomped down on her chest, possibly cracking a rib due to the sheer amount of pressure they had to withstand.
A sudden, fierce determination filled Ashe’s heart. No! This would not be how she died, to some simpleton in a vehicle. She was a queen, and this was not a worthy death. She had to stop this, somehow! Using her bow as a melee weapon, Ash would hit the mall cop in the crotch, causing the man to tense up and stop his assault, which gave Ashe just enough time to stand up and put an arrow in the bowstring. Time to finish this.
Another volley of arrows was shot towards the mall cop, and they became embedded into his chest and stomach. The man stumbled back, very much on the verge of death, and Ashe powered up her final attack. She didn’t want to use this, but she also didn’t want to take any chances.
The arrow that she fired grew to a giant size as soon as it left the bow. It flew straight towards the cops head, which knocked it off the man’s shoulder and flew past his now decapitated body to impale itself into the wall.
KO 2/9
Ashe sighed to herself as she looked at the bloody and beaten body that she left behind. Well, that was much more gruesome than she had intended it to be. Well, it didn’t matter in the end. At least she didn’t die by that man’s hands. That would have been more than embarrassing. She really had to watch her back around here. She had no idea how many people were left, but she’d see to it she was the last one alive.
Amumu had been getting tired of being all pushed around, and because of that he had decided it was time to end this, one way or another. The mummy child had tried to stop the shell with all of his might, but he wasn’t even able to get his feet on the ground, let alone stop the shell by pulling on the rope. So, he was going to have to cut the bandage somehow, but how he was going to was going to be tricky…
Though, he didn’t have to think too much about that, as while he was debating whether he should cut the bandage with his teeth, the bandage had suddenly given up. The sticky substance must have finally let go of its grip on the shell.
As the bandages grip on the shell gave way, Amumu was sent rolling and tumbling like some bowling ball. Eventually, he’d slam into the wall with his back and simply sit there with a dazed expression on his face, his entire body upside down as he tried to figure out what was happening.
When the mummy’s vision finally stopped being blurry and he recovered from his dizzy spell, he noticed a scene that he just had to partake in. Some man with a gun was approaching some girl that was hiding behind a tree. Hey, he was going to kill that girl! She only looked to be a teenager, too! He just had to stop that!
Amumu hopped to his feet and ran towards the Russian with a gun as fast as he could. He noticed an arrow whizzing past him as he moved, probably from Ashe, but he wasn’t going to worry about her right now. This man was going to die for putting someone like that girl in danger!
The mummy had reached his target just as the Russian got a few feet away from the tree. Amumu threw a bandage towards the terrorist and it wrapped around his neck. Makarov’s hands immediately went to his neck and he dropped his machine gun that he was using.
The bandaged champion would then pull himself towards Makarov. Well, actually, it was more like the child had pulled Makarov towards him, but that didn’t matter. Once the Russian had gotten close enough, Amumu pounced on him, hopping onto his neck and bringing his fists down on top of the terrorists head.
“Die!” Amumu had screamed as he beat down on Makarovs head, trying to figure out how he could finish this guy off. Snap his neck? Maybe. Actually, that could definitely work. That’s make real quick work of this guy!
The mummy put his hands on both side of the Russian’s head and was just about to turn it, but Makarov grabbed the child and threw him off of his back and towards the tree. Amumu hit it headfirst and the entire tree shook, leaves falling down to the ground, and even a couple of acorns.
“Damn child!” Makarov pulled out his revolver and fired it at the mummy. He shot the champion in the head, but it didn’t slow it down at all as he quickly got up afterwards. Makarov took a step back and unloaded the full cylinder into Amumu’s bandaged body, but it didn’t seem to matter. The mummy continued to walk towards him. He had to get out of here, quick.
Makarov would turn around and hurry away from the mummy child, running several feet away and hiding behind a boulder before trying to think of his next move. God, he was not having any luck here today! Everyone here seemed impervious to bullets. How was he supposed to kill anything!?
When the Russian had dropped his machine gun, Jane couldn’t help but pick it up and think about how useful it’d be for later use. She smiled to herself and held the Skorpion in one hand, and she had her knife in the other hand. This was going to be a lot easier for her now.
“Let’s get going,” Jane said to herself as she walked out from behind the tree. The weird mummy thing was too focused on the gunman to see her walking away too. Good thing, as well. That thing seemed way too hostile. She’d hate to have to fight that thing.
Though, as she watched the mummy move forward towards the boulder that the terrorist was hiding behind, a giant, weird, turtle looking thing had come in and hit the mummy child in the side of the head with some weird looking weapon. The mummy was surprised by this and was knocked off course.
Jane let out a gasp as she watched the mutated turtle attack the mummy with a certain ruthlessness. Oh my god, the turtle was going to kill him! She had to do something to stop him! Uh, she had a gun! Yeah, she could use this.
Jane brandished her gun, aimed at the turtle, and fired. She didn’t expect the recoil that she had gotten from the gun. She wasn’t sure if any of the bullets hit, but it definitely got the things attention.
Raphael would turn to the teenager holding the gun and see that she was an enemy that he had to take down. Well, he didn’t want anyone to get in the way of him putting the beat down on this mummy, so it was about time he finished this girl off.
Raphael was on her in an instant, and he swung his sai towards Jane. The teen blocked it with her knife, but she was almost overpowered by the turtle. She took a step back and swiped at the turtle with her knife, though before she could make contact, her blade was caught by the prongs of Raphael’s sai.
“I’ll take that.’ Raphael jerked his weapon to the right, knocking the weapon out of the teenagers hand. It fell out of her hand, and shortly afterwards Raphael kicked the gun out of Jane’s hand completely. It fell to the floor and Jane gasped before turning around and attempting to run away.
Raphael, though, was too quick for the girl, and he caught up to her in an instant. He grabbed her by the collar of her neck and pulled her back. He then stabbed his sai into her back, the blade penetrating her skin and breaking into her spine. Jane tensed up completely as raphael then stabbed the Sai into her neck, which killed her immediately.
KO 3/9!
Raphael pulled his weapons out of the girl’s body and let her fall to the ground limp. He stared at the result of his carnage and shook his head. “Sorry, gal, but a turtle’s gotta do what a turtle’s gotta do.”
Rapahel then turned to see where the mummy child had went, but he seemed to disappear completely. Dammit! He knew that girl was going to screw him up! Well, whatever. He’d have to get the little brat later. There were still a lot of people he had to get to if he wanted to make it out of here alive.
Aiden had gotten, thankfully, very little action recently after he had ran into the turtle. His leg still hurt like hell, and now he was forced to walk with a limp, but he was trying his best to stay alive. He didn’t know how he was hoping to take on someone like that turtle, but he’d have to think of some way. The lack of mechanics here didn’t exactly help either. There wasn’t much that he could hack, either. He was really out of his element.
Though, it wouldn’t be long until he saw a familiar green shell zoom in front of him. Though just before it left his field of view, it suddenly stopped, and the turtle popped out of his shell, wearing a blue helmet and holding what seemed to be a snowball in his hand.
Aiden took a step back and pulled his pistol out of his pocket. He aimed it at the Koopa and shot at it. Though the Koopa had anticipated the attack and moved out of the way. It chucked its ice ball towards Aiden, and the hacker had barely a chance to move out of the way.
The Koopa then proceeded to pull a boomerang out of its shell, as well as holding a ball of ice in its other hand. It chucked the boomerang towards Aiden before reaching into its shell and pulling out a hammer this time, which it also chucked towards Aiden.
Aiden was quick enough to dodge the boomerang, but the hammer had hit him directly in the head, causing his vision to blur as he put his hands to his head. Agh, son of a bitch! This turtle was annoying!
The hacker of Chicago aimed his 1911 at the turtle and fired once more. This time, it hit the Koopa in the chest and the turtle stumbled back, but before Aiden could get another shot off, the boomerang had came back and hit him directly in the head. He stumbled forward this time, right towards the Koopa.
The turtle was prepared with another hammer, which it used to whack Aiden in the side of the face. It hurt like hell, and Aiden was certain that the turtle had knocked some of his teeth out. Aiden’s reflexes began to take over as adrenaline overloaded his systems. Time seemed to slow down as Aiden aimed his gun at the turtle and fired, intending to put all of the bullets right into the turtle’s head.
Though, as time sped back up, the turtle’s head had poked back into its shell and the bullets only whizzed past the place where it’s head used to be. It poked his head out again and chucked an ice ball directly at Aiden.
The entirety of Aiden’s lower half had froze, and he was left immobilized. He struggled to try and break free from his icy confines, but it was a fruitless effort in the end. The Koopa then took its hammer and slammed it against Aiden’s head once more. Then again, and again, and again.
By the end of the turtle’s assault, Aiden’s face looked like a bloody mess. Then the Koopa Trooper took another ice ball and shoved it directly into Aiden’s face. His upper body was now frozen as well, which lead to his entire body being encased in ice.
One final swing was enough to bring the hacker down. The Koopa swung with all of its might, and when he made contact, the ice block, as well as Aiden, had crumbled apart and broke into pieces.
'K'O! 4/9!
The Koopa sighed as it stared at what it had done. Wow, okay. It didn’t think it was actually going to get that brutal. It glanced towards its hammer, made a suddenly grossed out expression, and chucked it away from itself. Okay, no more of that. It was just going to rely on its other powers. Honestly, it had a good chance of getting out of here! All the better!
Lucio hadn’t expected to be fighting a terrorist when he woke up only a while ago, but now he apparently was. This day was full of surprises, honestly. This was probably the least strange thing that has happened to him since waking up.
Honestly, he didn’t know how the guy had survived for so long, considering he seemed like a very average human with...not much going for him. Though, then again, who was he to judge? He’s fought people who didn’t seem like they had much going for them. Just take Ana for example. That girl was tough.
Though, that was besides the point. The terrorist had gave away his position when he had suddenly fired at Lucio, and was actually able to make contact and implant a bullet into Lucio’s shoulder. The DJ winced and immediately began to play his song of healing. Okay, ow! That hurt like hell!
“Guess we’re back to gunplay,” Lucio muttered as he aimed towards where the shot came and fired a burst of energy in that direction. Just before they had made contact, Makarov rolled out of the way and fired once again, hitting Lucio in the stomach.
“Man, I think you’re the one that hurt me the most today,” he muttered before running forward, amping up his song of healing as he tried to close the distance on Makarov. Makarov had moved out of his initial charge, but Lucio wasn’t planning on ramming into him. Instead, as he passed the man, he aimed his amplifier at him and blasted him several feet away.
Makarov landed on his back and the breath was knocked out of his lungs. He laid there, waiting for his breath to come back. It took him a while to notice, but the sounds of chaos around him had all but died down. People were either hiding, or they were really quiet while they fought. Or...maybe he was losing his mind. Yeah, that seemed just as likely.
Makarov slowly pushed himself back to his feet, putting a hand to his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing, and trying to formulate a plan in his head. There were so many things running through his head at the moment. So many variables. It was hard to keep track of anything that was floating around.
“Coming through!” Makarov barely had enough time to process the words before he took a kick to the chest, which felt like a car just hit him head on. The force of the kick alone was enough to knock him up into the air, and that was when his attacker would begin to fire upon him.
Lucio would shoot burst after burst of sonic energy towards the Russian, not letting up until the entirety of his gun had run out of ammo, and afterwards, as Makarov was about to fall to the ground, he hopped into the air and brought his mechanical leg down on him. Makarov was spiked into the ground and the only thing he could do in response was twitch lightly.
Lucio landed on his feet without any difficulty and chuckled as he walked towards Makarov. “You see, you just don’t mess with a guy like me.”
“I...will kill you.” Makarov slowly got onto his knee and aimed his revolver at Lucio. “You...will die!”
Makarov pulled the trigger...and heard a click. His heart seemed to drop as he realized he had used all of his bullets in this cylinder. Nothing...he had nothing to defend himself!
“Well, nice effort, at least,” Lucio said as he took a couple steps back. “But let’s play a little soccer, yeah?”
Lucio suddenly ran forward and kicked Makarov in the head as hard as he could. The force knocked Makarov’s head off of his shoulders and it flew away to hit the far side of the arena. Blood spouted out of the terrorist’s neck as his body fell to the ground.
KO! 5/9!
Lucio looked down at his leg, just to see if he got any blood on it, before chuckling and rolling away. “Like I said, you just don’t mess with me.
It took awhile for Raphael to find anyone after that teenager ruined his chances of getting rid of that mummy kid, and honestly it infuriated him more than anything else that happened that night. He was hoping he was going to at least get into some cool new fight, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Instead he was just very disappointed in the lack of action that was happening.
That is, until he had rang into another turtle. That was something he hadn’t expected. Well, actually, he did. He was hit by this damn things shell a while ago, and honestly he was glad that he ran into the thing again, because it was time to get some payback.
“Hey, I was looking for you!” Raphael’s voice had gotten the wandering turtle’s attention and it turned towards the mutant. “You were the one that stopped me from killing that guy in the hat.”
The Koopa blinked and looked around before pointing at himself, as if asking if Raphael was talking to him. Jeez, how stupid can you get? “Yes, I’m talking to you, shell boy. Don’t think that just cuz you’re a turtle I’m gonna go easy on ya.”
The turtle blinked before bringing out another ice ball and chucking it at Raphael. But Raphael dodged it with ease as he began to close the distance on the Koopa, which was beginning to throw all kinds of things at Raphael in order to stop his advance. Fireballs, iceballs, hammers, boomerangs, all of them were thrown at Raphael, but he was able to block them with relative ease.
“You’re going down, wimp!” Raphael shouted before stabbing into the Koopa’s chest with his sai. The Koopa cried out in pain and then hit Raphael over the head with the boomerang. At first it didn’t affect the ninja turtle, but the Koopa was relentless as he beat down on his head. I took a while, but eventually Raphael had to let go of his weapon and stumble back.
The koopa took this as a chance to throw another fireball at Raphael, which actually managed to hit this time, and Raphael let out a cry of pain as a burn mark appeared on his leg, where the fireball had made contact with his skin.
“Agh, okay, you got fire. I get it.” Raphael twirled his remaining sai in his hand before pointing it at the Koopa. “Luckily I can handle the heat.”
Within only a couple of seconds, Raphael was on the Koopa once again, pulling his sai out of the Koopa’s underbelly and smacking it on the top of the head with the handle of its other sai. The Koopa stumbled back, dazed and its vision becoming blurry. The Koopa managed to trip over itself and fall onto its rear end, giving Raphael just enough time to deliver the finishing blow.
Raphael chucked his sai towards the Koopa, and, with a surprising amount of accuracy, the sai embedded itself into the turtle’s forehead, stabbing into its brain and killing it instantly. It fell backward onto its shell, limp and most definitely dead.
Raphael then grabbed his sai and pulled it out of the Koopa’s head. Awesome! Time to move onto the next one, then.
KO! 6/9!
When Ashe ran into the DJ again, it was more of an expected event than a surprise. He was clearly one of the fastest people in the entirety of this arena, so it’d only make sense for the man to run into her once more, and by now, Ashe was about ready to finish this.
As soon as the music man had came into Ashe’s line of sight, she had fired a volley of arrows in his direction. One of them embedded itself into his metallic leg and he was forced to not only slow down, but stabilize himself lest he toppled over.
“Dammit, not again!” Lucio cursed as Ashe began to run towards him, firing arrows in his direction, determined to hit the mark before he could get up. One arrow had hit Lucio in the other leg, and despite the pain, Lucio tried to push himself up.
Ashe would get to him before he was able to and she slammed her bow down against his head. The blow to the back of his head caused Lucio to fall down once again, and now he was back to square one.
“You will not be defeating a queen!” Ashe said as she nocked another bow into her arrow and fired it into Lucio’s back, which only further increased his pain. Ashe would have mercy on the man and let him live, if this were a normal situation, but this was life or death, and she wasn’t going to be picking death, no matter what.
“That’s...where you’re wrong…” Suddenly, Lucio slammed his gun into the ground, and a wave of sonic energy washed over the two, sending Ashe flying back a few feet. She was able to land on her feet, but by the time she landed, Lucio was back up, and he looked better than ever.
“Time to break it down!” Lucio said with a tone of glee in his voice as he charged towards Ashe. Ashe attempted to fire a volley of arrows in his direction, but they stopped just before they reached Lucio and fell to the ground.
A big lump of panic rose into Ashe’s chest as she began to unload arrow after arrow towards Lucio, but none would hit their mark. It wouldn’t take long until Lucio was upon her, and then that was when he’d really get to work.
Lucio would begin to pummel the poor queen with his fists, guns and his mechanical leg coverings. By the time the audio shield had been destroyed, Ashe had been reduced to more or less a bloody pulp.
Lucio stopped his assault after a moment, staring at Ashe and appreciating a job well done, before he stopped for a moment and began to get the strangest case of deja vu. This felt...familiar. Very familiar.
Before he could shoot Ashe to make sure she was definitely dead, the princess suddenly put an arrow into her bow, nocked it and fired at Lucio. It pierced Lucio right through the chest and he stumbled back. Ashe fired a volley at Lucio and they left a line along his torso. Ashe fired one more arrow and it hit Lucio right between the eyes, causing him to fall to the ground limp.
KO! 7/9
Ashe let out a sigh as she stared at the body that she had left behind. That was a depressing image. She was about to walk away when she heard the sound of a fight coming from off in the distance. That sounded like she should get involved. Maybe she could even get a kill in before anyone noticed her. So, Ashe quickly ran to the source of the noise.
When she got there, she saw the familiar face of Amumu, currently getting in a little brawl with what seemed to be a giant turtle. Ashe wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but she was going to try to contribute to this in any way possible. So, she put an arrow into her bow and aimed towards the turtle before firing.
The turtle had turned just in time to see the arrow flying at her, and before it could make contact, he leaped over Amumu’s head and out of the path of the arrow. Dammit! She could have finished that off quickly, though what surprised her was when the turtle threw one of his only weapons at her.
Ashe sidestepped out of the way of the small blade and watched as it flew past. She shook her head and shot a volley of arrows towards the two fighters. It hit both of them this time, though the turtle seemed to be showing more damage from it. Amumu took this as an opportunity to slam his head into Raphael’s stomach.
Raphael was knocked back by the attack and landed a few feet in front of Ashe. Ashe was about to fire an arrow to finish off the ninja turtle, but then she noticed that the mummy child was charging directly at them, and he didn’t look happy.
Mind running on autopilot, Ashe fired another arrow towards Amumu. The arrow, like the one she fired at the officer, grew giant as it flew towards the mummy. It made direct contact with the mummies torso and froze it in place completely. She only had a second to react, and she was about to fire and arrow at it when she suddenly felt something stab her in the torso.
Her eyes widened and she looked down at her stomach to see the tip of a sai stabbing into her stomach. She followed the arm that was holding onto the sai and stared at the face of the ninja turtle who stabbed her.
“Big...mistake..” Ashe muttered. She knew the stun wouldn’t last long, and by now Amumu was upon them. She knew that for a fact. Huge bandages suddenly dug out of the ground, moving around like octopus tentacles. They wrapped around the two combatants while Amumu threw Ashe directly towards the arena wall.
Ashe flew headfirst into the wall at such a high speed and force that she left a hole in it. Once she fell to the ground, she didn’t make any attempt to get back up. She wasn’t even breathing. She was dead.
KO! 8/9
With the princess of Avarosa dead, Amumu turned his attention to the ninja turtle, which he began to slam into the ground repeatedly, headfirst, which wouldn’t do much to improve the turtle’s situation. Again and again would Amumu slam the turtle into the ground, until at some point the bandages suddenly let go of the turtle and they’d retreat into the ground.
Raphael would fall to the ground rather limply as the bandages let go of him. He slowly began to stand up, but before he could do so fully, Amumu grabbed him with his bandages and pulled himself towards the turtle, a certain fire in the mummy child’s eyes.
Amumu would then begin to beat down on Raphael, tears of anger welling up in his eyes and overflowing onto the ground, which only hurt Raphael even more. The turtle could barely do anything to stop it, and he could only accept the beat down for what it was.
Thankfully for Raphael, it ended quickly enough, with Amumu punching directly through his stomach, and then delivering an uppercut to Raphael’s chin that was so powerful that it knocked Raphael’s head off, leaving his headless body to fall to the ground.
Final KO!
“And the winner is...Amumu!”
The final panel shows all of the combatants going back to their worlds, confused and wondering what happened.
Result[]
Boomstick: Jesus Christ, that took forever, and just think we get to do that again for the losers!
Wiz: Yeah, we're only doing this for season one. Still, let's go over who lost and why.
Boomstick: Starting with the first one who died. Poor Jeff died by the hands of Jane the Killer.
Wiz: And I know you're going to say that canonically, Jeff had killed Jane, but that murder was very situational, as it was with her own trap, so in this sitaution, Jeff couldn't use her own objects against her.
Boomstick: And the things that we give Jane, with her electromagnetic senses, she was able to overpower Jeff and basically sense every attack that he was going to throw her way. Jeff wouldn't be able to throw her off, and it'd just be time until she delivered the killing blow.
Wiz: As for the second one to die, Paul Blart, well, he had just picked a fight with the wrong person. Paul Blart had picked a fight with Ashe, and not only did she have so much more killing potential and endurance, but she was also just stronger and had more ways to shut him down.
Boomstick: Yeah, that slow would really help Ashe i a lot of situations, but the durability of Ashe is insane. she can take star breath from dragons, and survive being attacks by a giant statue, thanks to Galio.
Wiz: And Ashe's slow would leave Blart way too open to any of the attacks that she could dish out at him. He really wasn't able to do much.
Boomstick: Though the only reason why he didn't last as long as Jane had was because of her senses of electricity or whatever, but unfortunately that was all she had going for her after the normal humans had been eliminated. She wouldn't even be able to go up against Makarov or Aiden, as they just had the better range on her too.
Wiz: It was only a matter of time before Jane had met her own bitter hand after killing her target after so long. Though, moving onto Aiden, he was just unable to get past the Koopa.
Boomstick: Ha! He died by a turtle. That's hilarious.
Wiz: Well, the Koopa is nothing to be laughed at. His defense is insane, and he also has a wide arsenal at his disposal which would be more than enough to kill Aiden.
Boomstick: Not only that, but Aiden was out of his element as well. He wasn't in Chicago anymore, and he didn't have much to hack, and even if he did, it wouldn't be much of an advantage to him.
Wiz: But even then, Makarov didn't have much of a chance either. He was way out of his league with people such as Lucio and Ashe still being on the field. Lucio, for example, was just way too fast for him. Even if he had just ran into Ashe or Raphael, they would not only be too fast for him, but Ashe would be able to slow him down before he gets a chance to fire many bullets.
Boomstick: Though that's not saying Lucio would have stood a better chance against Ashe. I mean, come on, have you read the death battle he was in? The main thing he has going for him is speed.
Wiz: Which is something that Ashe could easily counter given a couple of shots from her ice arrows. While Lucio's shield barrier gave him an advantage, Ashe would be able to withstand just about anything that Lucio could throw at her.
Boomstick: Yeah, like we said, her durability is just insane, which is why she went to the final three.
Wiz: Speaking of which, when Ashe was finished off by Amumu, the main reason why was not only would Amumu be much more powerful than Ashe could ever hope to be, but Amumu could also cut off any means of escape she could try to pull.
Boomstick: Not only that, but with fighting two people at once, Ashe would be more than a little overwhelmed. She's not good in a two on one, and in a free for all it'd be even worse. Those arrows can only hit so many targets.
Wiz: And in the end, it was Amumu's sheer tankiness that helped him win in the end. Amumu is a very defensive champion despite his short size and childish demeanor. He's also incredibly powerful, as he can destroy an entire town in a fit of rage.
Boomstick: And it's not like Raphael has withstood anything like that, and even if we only look into lore and not game, Amumu still stands to be one of the most powerful people here, even though he's...really slow. Ashe certainly hasn't withstood a city busting attack.
Wiz: Amumu also has the advantage in that although he is very slow, he has multiple ways of closing the gap, such as his bandage toss, and his multiple abilities that just stun the target, or deal massive damage. No one really had anything that could counter Amumu's strength.
Boomstick: Huh, I guess you could say Amumu really left them crying to their mummies.
Wiz: The winner of the losers is Amumu.
Boomstick: Hey, and come back whenever we do the winners!
Wiz: That's going to take forever...
title card closes.