Description[]
The Nightmare Before Christmas vs. Shrek. They love to scare, and their bark will match their bite.
Introduction[]
Wiz: Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town.
Boomstick: Shrek, the terrifying ogre of the Fairy Tale World.
Wiz: When you want to carry a certain fright factor about yourself, it's best to tap into a primal or well-installed fear honed over generations of what we consider scary. Be it a celebrated key event or the archetype of a single terrifying monster.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Jack Skellington[]
Wiz: Somewhere, in some strange place likely to be a pocket dimension separate from our very world, there was a town themed around one particular holiday. The one themed around people taking on the form of monsters in order to keep evil spirits at bay.
Boomstick: And in this town, they've sort of reimagined this tradition, because the monsters that have to be scared away aren't a danger because they are the citizens that already are the monsters that...I've lost it. I've lost my point.
Wiz: In Layman's Terms, this is Halloween Town, a place that is the very embodiment of the event, filled with monsters who aren't actually all that bad, in spite of their pretty terrifying practises. As their song says "That's their job, but they're not mean".
Boomstick: "In their town of Halloween!" And like in every town, there's a particular person of interest, basically Citizen of the Year. The Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington.
- Background
- Age: 200
- Died at age 24
- AKA The Pumpkin King
- Scares other monsters
- Has a pet ghost dog, Zero
- Fat chicks with black hair get tattoos of him
Wiz: A title well received, because not only is Jack able to effortless scare the common person, but also his fellow monsters. That is, when he's not taking off his own head to recite poetry.
Boomstick: Just look at that absolutely metal introduction he makes during This is Halloween! That's how you make an impression. But you know what happens when you've mastered something? You get bored of it.
Wiz: Whilst the schedule for the celebrations of Halloween Town is a bit uncertain, what is known is that Jack is over 200 years old. And with that much time spent on a single subject, monotony is sure to set in at some point. That's right, he had a mid-lifeless crisis.
Boomstick: Ha! I mean, stay away from puns, they're my territory! Following the latest celebration, Jack wandered off from his fellow townsmen, and the Frankenstein crushing on him, to lament his mind-crushing boredom.
Wiz: That's when he stumbled upon a ring of doors, each one marked with a different symbol. And the one that drew him in the most was one shaped like a tree. A Christmas tree, and it led to Christmas Town, the bright sights and fun atmosphere inspiring Jack to do what Coca-Cola did.
Boomstick: Hijack the concept of Christmas for himself. Combining it with the thrilling fright of Halloween and the feel good of Christmas receiving.
- Abilities and Arsenal
- Scare tactics
- Flexibility
- Detachable Head
- Pumpkin King Outfit
- Santa Outfit
- Christmas Gifts
- Sleigh
- Soul Robber
- Frog Gun
- Bat Boomerang
- Pumpkin Bomb
Wiz: So he got himself some equipment to let him mimic the abilities of Santa Claus. Or Sandy Claws, as he misinterpreted. In a large sack he carries toys that really should not have been approved.
Boomstick: Shrunken heads, living rings of holly, giant freaking snakes and of course evil dolls. Basically, the kind of things you'd except from a gothic Santa. Oh, and let's not forget his own sleigh, which replicates the feat of ferrying Saint Nick around the world in one day. Yes, one day, because where it is night in one part of the world it's daytime in another. And Jack's sleigh is pulled by skeleton reindeer, so yeah, continuously metal as hell.
Wiz: Whilst the standalone film may give the impression this is all Jack has to hand, aside from his The Exorcist style flexibility, the prequel and sequel video games give him a few more tools to use as part of a Devil May Cry style combat system.
Boomstick: Whaaaaa...?
Wiz: It's real. Jack obtains access to his Pumpkin King form, the one he uses to make his entrance, which enables him to attack with fire. But for a primary method of fighting, he uses the Soul Robber, a flexible blob of slime that he can use as a whip or grappling hook.
Boomstick: He's got a Frog Gun which can unleash foul smog, a Batarang that's actually a bat, and some of the Green Goblin's Pumpkin Bombs. But for some really special damage dealing, he can essentially hijack a person's song and inflict actual harm on them! It's true, look at playthroughs of the video game.
Wiz: I would say it's ego-based, but it can deal finish blows, so maybe it's more magic based.
Boomstick: Let's see if I can do the same thing. I'll hum the Death Battle theme.
Wiz: Original or new?
Boomstick: Original.
DUMMI: Hey, what are you two do-
Boomstic: DAH-DUM-DUM-DAH-DAH-DUM-DAH-DAH-DAH-!
DUMMI: Argh! It's agony! Make it stop!
Wiz: Okay Boomstick. You've had your fun. Which is the basic attitude towards Jack the more sane had.
Boomstick: Yeah, old Sandy Claws wasn't exactly happy at being abducted so Jack could give Christmas his own twist.
- Feats
- Hijacked Christmas
- Got through Oogie-Boogie's traps
- Delivered presents all across the world
- Survived an anti-aircraft round
- Casually lit himself on fire
- Defeated Lock, Shock, Barrell, Oogie-Boogie
Wiz: And neither was the rest of the world. In fact, they decided to bring him down with a round from their anti-aircraft equipment. The cannons being fired appear to be similar in appearance and functionality to 8”/55 caliber Mark 15s, which delivers up to 80 megajoules with every shot. Not only did Jack survive when his sleigh got hit with one of these, but he also walked away unscathed from falling from the massive height.
Boomstick: And afterwards, he went on to fight the Boogeyman himself, Oogie-Boogie, who almost shat a brick when he saw Jack. That's right, he scared the overloving crap out of the Boogeyman himself. You know, the folkloric being synonymous with terror and the like? Jack may be pretty chill, but with that kind of fright factor, you know he's not someone to be tangled with, dodging through Oogie's gauntlet of spinning blades and pistol shots.
Wiz: All to rescue and make amends with the man who's holiday he had stolen. Because at the end of the day, all he wanted to do was shake up things in his town.
Boomstick: It would literally take reducing him, or some important part of him, to dust in order to keep his wandering eyes down for good, because whenever he finds himself lacking in inspiration, he'll go and take a peak at any other holiday he can find.
Wiz: What else could you call someone so eager to keep his holiday interesting and fun than one titled the Pumpkin King?
Shrek[]
Wiz: Imagine, if you will, a world where every fairy tale that was ever told happened, all in one collective.
Boomstick: Including the German one where the mother cut off her son's thumbs?
Wiz: Probably. But you may also be surprised to learn that, before the classic movie from Dreamworks, the story of Shrek was written by one William Steig, and it was pretty different from the movie we all grew up with and loved, Rock-and-Roll intro and all. There, he is a repulsive and rather bullyish ogre, one who wanted to see the world and who went to rescue a hideous princess, all in order to live his own version of happily ever after.
Boomstick: Yeah, like that's ever going to happen! Because we are looking at Dreamwork's ogre mascot.
Wiz: In all his smelly and revolting glory.
- Background
- Age: 30's to 40's
- Height: 8'
- Husband of Princess Fiona
- Inexplicably Scottish
- Fairly small for an ogre
- Likes eye jelly on toast
Boomstick: Shrek's days used to be filled with just the basic necessities of enjoying life; taking showers that got you even dirtier than before, eating fish killed by flatulence and of course, scaring off anyone dumb enough to try taking on an ogre to collect a bounty. Life was good...until he asked the legendary question.
Wiz: Why there were magical and fairy tale beings squatting in his swamp. Turned out, they were refugees from the expansion of one Lord Farquaad, who hated their kind with a vengeance for tainting his perfect kingdom.
Boomstick: Right, because having fantastical beings was so bad and unappealing. But Shrek was mainly concerned with getting his privacy back, so he went off to get the squatters gone from his land, until that snowballed into another quest that sent him looking for a princess in the tallest tower of dragon guarded castle.
Wiz: A quest that had claimed many a brave knight, but Shrek wasn't a knight. He was an ogre, and he was made of sterner stuff.
- Abilities and Arsenal
- Superhuman strength
- Terror Tactics
- High pain tolerance
- Powerful roar
- Agility and acrobatics
- Means of giving off a foul stench
- Wrestling moves
- Potions
- Can heal, empower or shield
- Green-Turns foes into frogs
Boomstick: His big bulk isn't just for show. It makes him at least several times stronger than the average man, and even armoured knights rarely stand a chance against him, because he combines that strength with some sick wrestling-style moves.
Wiz: He's also pretty durable. One time, a crossbow bolt lodged itself in his, ahem, buttock, and he didn't even feel any pain until it was yanked out. And in spite of his big bulk, he's remarkably fast on his speed and pretty agile, able to perform massive jumps and even a complete flip forwards. But as an ogre, his real strengths lie in his more unappealing aspects.
Boomstick: For starters, he can make himself really stink. With the usual means of doing so, with what goes in rather than out. It's so toxic, it can kill fish and he has even told Donkey that if he had trumped right in his face, he'd already be dead. In fact...
Wiz: Boomstick, don't you-!
(Wiz shoves on a gas mask as a green cloud emerges from Boomstick)
DUMMI: Oh god, I can smell it and I shouldn't be able to!
Wiz: Well, that's an ability that comes out from one end. The other one is his fearsome roar, powerful enough to push back entire crowds.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz; do the roar.
Wiz: Shrek has also used several potions he has come across, some of which have the standard physical enhancements, and another which has the standard magical effect of turning enemies into frogs. And he's pretty capable of using whatever he finds to his advantage, like a knight's suit of armour.
Popup: Shrek has had access in video games to chilli-peppers that give him fire breath but his burps and gas alone are flammable and he's easily capable of striking a match.
- Feats
- Rescued Princess Fiona
- Survived Dragon's fire
- Caught up to a fleeing Donkey
- Broke metal shackles
- Fought angry mobs, knights, pirates, witches
- Defeated Dragon, Prince Charming, Rumpelstiltskin
Boomstick: From one knight who's everything-but-bones was reduced to char by Dragon, with would require 260 million joules. And why does that matter? Because Shrek once got lit on fire that was made by Dragon herself, and his clothes didn't even get burnt all the way through.
Wiz: It could be even more impressive than that. You see in the Dragon's Lair there's legs of a dead knight, with nothing else left. Implying that the rest of the knight was straight up vaporized, which would take 311 million joules. He's managed to catch up to Donkey, who should be able to run at 40mph and has dodged bolts from a crossbow.
Boomstick: He's strong enough to uproot trees, lift up a carriage and throw a bottle hard enough to smash a large chunk of a shot, equalling 1.6 million joules (Ugarik). Looks like an ogre really is the best man for the job when it comes to rescuing a princess. And then marrying said princess and getting involved in a whole other bunch of plotlines which threatened not just Shrek's chances of going home, but even the entire kingdom of Far, Far Away.
Wiz: Even when all that was said and done, Shrek had a bit of a mid-life crisis over his lack of ogre status, considering his new savior reputation and it even led to a recton which was basically Endgame before Endgame came out. It's true, look up the similarities.
Boomstick: Shrek's pessimistic attitude doesn't do him much favours, although you're likely to end up with one considering people's dislike for his kind. But he'll put that shimmering chip-on-his-shoulder to the side for the better good, ensuring that everyone who deserves one will get their happily ever after.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, time to end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
The Battle[]
Setting: Shrek's Swamp
Shrek was sitting with a martini in his chair, content with his current lot. But just as he raised the glass to his lips, there was a load crash and his house rattled, sending his drink flying from his hand. Frowning, Shrek got up from his seat and marched to the door, throwing it open to see the strange sight of a crashed sleigh in his yard with a skeleton dressed as Father Christmas stumbling out.
Shrek: What are you doing in my swamp!
Jack: Oh, I was just on my way to spread my own brand of Christmas cheer throughout the world.
Shrek: Oh no, Christmas annoys me enough as it is! C'mere!
Shrek strode towards Jack, whose eyes went wide when he realized the ogre meant him harm.
FIGHT!
He ducked beneath Shrek's swipe, the ogre pausing in surprise at his nimbleness before attempting another grab, which Jack skipped back from. And when Shrek attempted a two handed grab, Jack jumped upwards, tucked his legs before lashing out with both of them, kicking Shrek in the face and sending himself bouncing away. Shrek stumbled back, holding his face in pain, before glaring at Jack, who slunk backwards and picked up a large sack. When he bolted, Shrek took chase, determined to catch the interloper.
Jack: Time for a little gift giving!
He reached into his sack and pulled out several twisted toys, throwing them at Shrek as he chased after him; a living, fanged ring of holly, a doll wielding a knife and a long snake. Shrek dealt with each one in a different way; he tore the holly ring in half with both hands after catching it, backhanding the doll into a mudhole where it sank and straight up ate the snake, sucking it down like a long noodle. Jack squeaked slightly at the scene and threw an uncoiled Jack-in-the-Box which wrapped around Shrek's leg. He kept after the Halloween King however, even he tried to shake the impediment free, and eventually flicked his leg to send it flying at its original thrower. It smashed into Jack's face before he could pull out a new toy and he went tumbling backwards. Landing on his behind, Jack looked up to see Shrek still coming at him, and he swung his sack at him when he came within range. Shrek grabbed it mid swing and yanked it out of Jack's grasp and smashed it down onto the skeleton, obscuring him from sight among the rags of the bag and the broken toys.
Jack: Okay, you know what...
He burst from the pile, back in his usual clothing and the Soul Robber in hand.
Jack: I think I need to go back to my ways for this!
He lashed out with the gooey substance, whipping Shrek all over the front of his body and his face. The ogre yelled and yelped at the pain before grabbing a hold of the weapon and yanking on it. Jack stumbled forwards and Shrek met him with a outstretched hand, clotheslining him and making him spin into a crash. Shrek then followed it up with a Shoulder Drop, which Jack rolled away from to avoid, the latter entering a macabre all-fours crawling form. Balking at the sight, Shrek uprooted a tree and started swinging it down at Jack, trying to crush him as he scuttled about. When Shrek hoisted it up again, Jack lassoed it with the Soul Robber and used the upwards lift to launch himself up into the air. Just as Shrek looked up in surprise, Jack stuck the extended Soul Robber over his mouth before swinging around the ogre numerous times, making him drop the tree and entangling him up in a spring-like binding. Shrek grumbled muffled threats as he fell onto his front and Jack slid into a stop behind him as a result.
Jack: Hurra! Victory is mine!
He held his clasped hands in the air whilst Shrek squinted his eyes and unleashed a cloud of gas from his rear end. Jack recoiled and gagged in horror and Shrek freed himself from the Soul Robber and sucking it up, swallowing it with a loud gulp. He jumped back to his feet and fished out a potion from his waistcoat, tossing it at Jack he was still beset by the smell. It collided with Jack's head, there was a puff of smoke and suddenly there was a frog sitting on the ground.
As Jack took in his new form, Shrek picked him up, prompting a ribbit of terror from him.
Shrek: Looks like it's frog legs on the menu tonight!
He opened his mouth to consume his foe, but was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. He turned and received a poke in both eyes from Jack's body, which still operated after his head had been turned into the frog. Shrek yelled and dropped the Frog Jack, who hopped away whilst his body covered his retreat, engaging with Shrek in a fistfight. Both combatants received punches from the other to the jaw, cheek and gut. Shrek eventually used his belly to knock Jack's body backwards and the frog took noticed just before it turned back into Jack's head. He whistled, and across the swamp, his dog Zero rose from the wreckage and barked the skeleton reindeer into action. They charged through the swamp, dragging the sleight behind them. Just in time to scoop up Jack and slam into Shrek as he was attempted to crush Jack with a rock, the ogre only having time to yell in surprise.
The sleigh climbed higher into the air with both its unwilling passenger and its master, the former planted on the leading skeleton reindeer whilst the latter sat in the sleigh's seat. Fighting against the harsh winds, Shrek clambered across the undead cart animals towards the sleigh, gritting his teeth the whole time until, with a final jump, he was on the seat of the sleigh, which was suspiciously absent of Jack. Shrek looked up to see Jack was standing on the back area of the slight and had taken on his Pumpkin King form, unleashing a stream of flame towards him. In response, Shrek struck a match and help it front of his massive burp, sending out his own cloud of flame. The two opposing forces collided and struggled against the other before their combined energy resulted in an explosive fireball.
The sleigh was blown apart by the explosion and Shrek was the first to crash down to Earth, leaving a small crater.
Shrek: Oh...I landed on my keys.
Shrek got back to his feet and turned to see Jack smash through tree branches as he too fell, but as the wooden limbs temporarily obscured him, he leaped out and hurled out three Pumpkin Bombs, which exploded around Shrek and made him stumble backwards. And as his ears range, Shrek was next beset by Bat Boomerangs which wacked him around the head numerous times and the gas of the Frog Gun.
As Jack assaulted him with the three different methods, Shrek found his temper flaring up even more than it had before. As the sound and sensations of the projectiles continued all around him, Shrek snapped and unleashed a devastatingly loud roar. The sheer power of it shook the entire swamp and slammed into Jack, pushing him backwards as though as hurricane had kicked up. Jack fought against the push, digging his feet into the ground and he started, of all things, to harmonize.
Jack: "Whoa..."
Shrek: RAAAAAAAAAAAA-!
Jack: "Whoa!"
Shrek: RAAAAAAAAAAA-!
Jack: "Whoa!"
Shrek: RAAAAAAAAAAA-!
Jack: "I'm the Pumpkin King!"
And musical notes burst from him, which pushed against the sound of the roar and pushed it back into Shrek's open mouth; his head swelled, his eyes bulged and with a bag, Jack was thrown backwards, legs left sticking in the air. As he rocked into a sitting position, he saw Shrek's head had been blown apart, the headless body falling to its knees and planting on its front.
Jack: Oh dear. Not to worry my dear fellow, I'll make sure your brand of scary is kept alive!
He marched past Shrek's body as he spoke, patting it on the back as he went back into the swamp.
KO!
Shrek's body sank into the swamp as Jack came out of the ogre's house, carrying several frogs and rats.
Outcome[]
Boomstick: "Somebody once told me, this guy was gonna kill me, probably by taking my head!"
Wiz: There was a lot more to this matchup than it may have appeared at first. For example, both had several advantages in their own corner. Jack had a wider arsenal on him at most times, and more experience being over 200 years old. Both were also unlikely to be able to effectively scare the other, since Jack is unafraid of the literal boogeyman whilst the only thing to give Shrek genuine fear was lovely-dovey theater.
Popup: Shrek's Frog Potion could have netted him an instant win, but in practise, it's a randomly found item.
Boomstick: And on the other hand, Shrek's farts would actually be effective on Jack, although not outright fatal due to his undead nature. Jack could actually pick up on the "smell of pies" in the Christmas world, so smells did actually work on him. Considering the horrendousness of Shrek's, if he got a whiff of them, it could have debilitated him enough for Shrek to get in a solid hit.
Wiz: But that hit wouldn't have been "solid" enough to do any meaningful damage. In fact, Shrek and Jack had a few issues in regards to how they harm the other, as their durability exceeds a good deal of their attack options.
Boomstick: Shrek's best strength feat is smashing a ship's hull, requiring 1.6 megajoules, whilst Jack can take a 80 megajoule round from an anti-aircraft cannon. Jack with his own strength is able to hurt a giant Oogie-Boogie, who moves with 39 megajoules of energy (Vrokorta), yet Shrek can take Dragon's fire which can burn with as little as 260 million joules. So for the most part, both had each other pretty stumped.
Wiz: Unfortunately for Shrek, and fortunately for Jack, the Pumpkin King had another means of inflicting damage; his singing, which he used exclusively to harm Giant Oogie-Boogie when he got even bigger, and thus could move with kinetic energy worth 28 gigajoules.
Boomstick: That's 90 times higher than Shrek's best possible durability, if Dragon was indeed capable of vaporizing a knight. And Jack had plenty of opportunities to not just survive to use it, but also get into a good groove.
Wiz: Jack is a very nimble individual, being able to avoid a series of traps from Oogie without getting hit once. Even though Shrek is also surprisingly acrobatic when he wants to be, Jack's greater speed would help him out in this regard. After all, he's piloted a sleigh fast enough to replicate Santa's act of travelling the world in a single night, at Mach 2000 according to sources.
Popup: Jack is capable of breaking into musical numbers when it is just himself singing.
Boomstick: Much faster than a donkey or crossbow bolt, and even a lightning bolt, which book Shrek straight up ate. And a lightning bolt only delivers 1.6 gigajoules, which doesn't compare to the 28 gigajoules Jack can scale to with his voice.
Popup: Whilst Harold leapt in front of a stream of energy resembling a lightning bolt, the fact it rebounded off his armour demonstrates it is neither comparable to lightning or light in speed.
Wiz: Also hindering Shrek's progress was Jack's undead nature, since he could operate whilst detached and wasn't even strong enough to crush one of his bones to powder.
Boomstick: Heh, Shrek even said grinding up bones was a giant's speciality, not an ogre's. He had his moments, but Jack's toughness, undead survivability, speed, experience, arsenal and killer voice made him stand above the ogre. He was just the better of their Pump-Kin.
Wiz: The winner is Jack Skellington.
Next Time[]
Season 11 finally ends
Where it began
With the slayers of evil
Trivia[]
- Connections: Both are animated movie protagonists who specialize and reveal in terrifying others, although they rarely intend real harm unless they are defending themselves. Both have operated during Halloween, have partaken in Christmas and have fallen in love with women kept away in towers (Sally and Fiona, respectively). Both are also accompanied by an animal companion (Zero and Donkey, respectively) and both have gone through a personal crisis; Jack over the sterility of Halloween and Shrek over no longer being able to act like an ogre. Both have interacted with other folk culture creatures (Halloween and Christmas characters and fairy tale characters, respectively) and have transported others for personal missions (Jack kidnapped Santa Claus and Shrek brought Fiona to Lord Farquaad/Arthur to Far, Far Away).
- Animation Style: 3D.
- OST Idea: 'The Nightmare Before Forever ', which combines the movie titles of both combatants' series.