Inkling VS Penguin is a Fanon battle by Blue Midnight04. It features The Squid Kid of Inkopolis, Inkling from Splatoon and The Friendly Waddler of the Antarctic, Penguin from Disney’s Club Penguin.
Interlude[]
Midnight: Inkling, the Turf War Loving Kid of Inkopolis
Noon: And Penguin, the happy go lucky bird from Club Penguin.
Midnight: These two seemingly ordinary members of there species, can become masters of there trade.
Noon: And they also love customization!
Midnight: He’s Noon and I’m Midnight
Noon: And it’s our job to analyze there weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win…
Both: A DEATH BATTLE
Inkling splashes down in DEATH BATTLE![]
Midnight: Imagine if you will, a world where humans have gone extinct. Our lives on the planet over, what species would rule the planet?
Noon: I betcha ten dollars you weren’t expecting a race of squid people who absolutely adore playing paintball.
Midnight: After the extinction of most mammalian life, the oceanic life would rise and out would crawl squid kids and octopeeps. These two species would engage in the Great Turf War, both sides trying to claim the planet for there own.
Noon: The squid kids, or Inklings, would eventually win out, and create sprawling metropolises turn the war they just fought into a psuedo-sport. Heck they even managed to have celebrities.
Midnight: Most Inklings can carry around a variety of weapons, including the Splattershot, Jet Squelcher, Rapid Blaster, Splat Roller, Inkbrush, Classic Squiffer, E-liter 4K, Splat Dualies, Glooga Dualies, Splat Brella, Slosher, Tri-Slosher, Mini Splatling, and Heavy Splatling.
Noon: And those are just some main weapons! Sub Weapons include the Burst Bomb, Splat Bomb, Autobomb, Seeker, Ink Mine, Toxic Mist, Sprinkler, Torpedo, and Fizzy Bomb.
Midnight: But there deadliest weapons are the Special Weapons... these are the Bomb Rush, allowing unlimited use of sub weapons, the Bubbler, creating a temporary shield around the Inkling, the Echolocator, which allows the Inkling to see all opponents positions for around 12 seconds, the Inkstrike, essentially a tactical nuke that covers an area with ink, the Inkzooka, a bazoooka like weapon that can instantly defeat fellow Inklings,the Killer Wail, a large speaker that unleashes deadly sound at opponents, the Kraken, which turns the Inkling into a Kraken to decimate foes and grants temporary invulnerablilty, the Inkjet, which gives the Inkilng control of the skies, allowing them to rain ink down on there enemies, the Splashdown, which allows the Inkling to create a wave of ink around them after they've landed, the Sting Ray, which allows the Inkling to power wash opponents through walls, the Tenta Missiles, which the Inkling can use to rain heavy fire at a chosen target, the Bomb Launcher, which is what it says on the tin and comes in three different forms, the Curling Bomb Launcher, Splat Bomb Launcher and Suction Bomb Launcher, the Ink Storm, which creates a stormcloud the rain ink, the Baller, a giant hamster ball that explodes, the Ink Armor, which can protect the Inkling from one attack, the Bubble Blower, which can create thre ink bubbles, the Booyah Bomb, is a giant sphere charged with "Booyahs" that can destroy enemies, and the Ultra Stamp, a giant hammer that protects the Inkling from the front whilst crushing opponents.
Noon: Jesus! Why do they have so many weapons? Anyways, some Inklings are secret agents that protect the world from the vile Octavians. They also save Zapfish from the Octavians. These Inklings are recruited by Captain Cuddlefish, are masters of platfomring.
Midnight: Whether playing in Turf Wars, defending their home from the Octavians, or saving Zapfish, the Inklings will take any task given to them and do them with style.
The Inkling is seen running around in a white field shooting... ink.
Penguin waddles into DEATH BATTLE![]
Midnight: Scientists have long wondered why the fuck certain animals were created... the mosquito, the platypus, and... the penguin.
Noon: Well obviously scientists have never met these penguins!
Midnight: Different from your typical Spheniscidae, the scientific name for penguin, these Club Penguins have created a thriving economy with retail stores, restaurants, pet stores, and even real estate! These Penguins were created for one purpose... to have fun!
Noon: These penguins are masters of ice fishing, treasure hunting, rescuing Puffles, essentially the cats or dogs of this world, cart surfing, surfing surfing, arcade games, and dancing to sick beats!
Midnight: Indeed it seems that Penguins were born to party. Even in prehistoric times, caveguins, yes that is an official name from Disney, Penguins on Club Penguin Island were partying, as well as working. Oh yeah they also work jobs. Such as Pizza Chef, Puffle Wrangler, Musician Tour Guide, Journalists, Secret Agent and Ninjas.
Noon! I'M SORRY WHAT! THEY'RE PENGUINS WHY DO THEY HAVE SECRET AGENTS AND NINJAS?
Midnight: Because why not? Anyways the EPF, or Elite Penguin Force, are a team of secret agents who protect the Island of Club Penguin. Some notable members include Gary the Gadget Guy, the resident inventor and technology master, Aunt Artica, the founder, and Jet Pack Guy, who can fly at top speeds of 680.9 m/s which is approximately 1523.1 miles per hour, which is just under Mach 2!
Noon: What! WHAT! WHAT! THAT’S FUCKING INSANE! THERE PENGUINS!
Midnight: And that’s not even scraping the surface of their insane abilities… a Penguins most powerful ally… is Card-Jitsu.
Noon: WHAT IS THAT!
Midnight: Card-Jitsu is a time honoured martial art, using cards. There are three basic elements, water, fire, and ice. These cards rank from 2-12 and will often be simple things like attacking the opponent with hot sauce, a water balloon or a snowball. However some cards are capable of summoning great floods, making the room into a pencil drawing, or summoning mountains of snow.
Noon: WHHHHHHHY! WHY ARE THESE PENGUINS SO GODDAMN COOL! THERE FROM A 2005 FLASH GAME MADE BY DISNEY! THEY SHOULDN’T BE THIS POWERFUL!!!
Midnight: While my co host has a mental breakdown, I’ll finish this up. Whether it’s breaking it down on the dance floor, defending Club Penguin Island, or training in the ways of Card-Jitsu, Penguins will take any task they are given and have a blast with it.
Noon (quietly): AAAAAAAH!
A Penguin is seen pulling the Mullet out of the ice.
Pre-Fight[]
Midnight: Alrighty the combatants are set and we've run the simulations.
Noon: LET THE DEATH BATTLE... COMMENCE!
FIGHT![]
An Inkling is seen wandering around some Frozen Docks. The Squid Kid is confused because there are no other Inklings here. She could’ve sworn that Callie and Marie said the new map was called Frozen Docks. In fact the Inkling wasn't entirely sure that she was in Inkopolis anymore. Turning to a local, she would ask…
Inkling: Squee squee?
The Penguin, very friggin confused and fascinated by this new species, would respond with only a question mark. The Inkling, seeing that the Penguin didn’t understand, would splat some ink at the Penguin. The Penguin, thinking he understands, would throw a snowball at the Inkling, which the Inkling appreciated. This Penguin clearly knew how to have fun!!! The Inkling would ready the Splattershot and the Penguin would ready another snowball.
FIGHT!!!
The Inkling would immediately start shooting ink at the Penguin, who responded by throwing snow at the Inkling. The Inkling would throw a Splat Bomb at the Penguin, who, would pick it up, curious. It would splat straight in his face. The Penguin was finding this fun! In fact, it was the most fun they had in a long time! Waddling as fast as he could to the lighthouse, and beckoning the Inkling to follow, would take the right away from the sea, which he noticed the Inkling was avoiding. The Inkling would follow, and the two would throw snow and shoot ink at each other until they got to the lighthouse. The Penguin would waddle up the stairs, with the Inkling close behind. The two fun lovers world battle utop the Lighthouse, shooting Ink and throwing snow, until the Inkling sees the jet pack. Inkling gesturing towards it, saying…
Inkling: WOOMY?
The Penguin, seeing where the Inkling is gesturing, has an idea. He starts throwing snow at Inkling, wanting to have an aerial duel. The Inkling would agree, quickly switching to their Splat Dualies. The Inklings special meter was almost full, and they knew a secret on how to transfer weapons special charge between weapons. The Inkling and Penguin would shoot ink and throw snow at each other until the Inkling would stop firing, nod at the Penguin. And, turning into a squid, swim to the launchpad. The Penguin would quickly waddle over and take the Jetpack for a joyride. Launching off the Penguin would fly straight towards the Snow Forts. The Inkling would follow and start shooting at the Penguin. The Penguin would pull out his Card-Jitsu cards and using a weaker fire card, start shooting streams of fire at the Inkling, all from a hot sauce bottle. The two to-be friends would soon realize they were running low on fumes… and right as they were lowering themselves to land, their tanks ended up empty. The two would crash land into a snowbank, and the two would laugh it off. The two would quickly go to the snow forts and start up their game again. The Inkling, wanting to change it up, equipped the Splat Brella, and using it as a shield, would charge the Penguins fort, and, after arriving successfully unharmed, would switch to the Slosher, and hurl a bucket of ink on the Penguin. The Penguin would, in response, pull out a powerful Card-Jitsu… card and activate it, dump a pile of snow right next to the Inkling, and sled straight into them. The mountain of snow would magically disappear, and the Inkling would pull out the Classic Squiffer, charge it up, and fire it point blank at the Penguin. This would launch the Penguin to the Ice Rink. The Inkling, would swim after him, and, equipping the Heavy Splatling, would start shooting at the Penguin as soon as they were in range of the ink weapon. The Penguin would start hurling snowballs at the Inkling as fast as his flippers would allow. The two would soon run out of ink and tire out. Then the Penguin had an idea. He would waddle up to the dojo, and the Inkling, curious, would follow suit. The Inkling had an idea anyway that would work better in an enclosed space. The Penguin and the Squid Kid would soon arrive at the dojo, and Sensei would allow the two private use of the Dojo, so long as they didn’t ruin anything. Sensei then left to go meditate, and the two would begin the final battle. The Inkling would activate Bomb Rush, and throw torpedo after torpedo at the Penguin. The Penguin started running around, dodging inksplosions. They then saw that the Inkling had accidentally inked one of Sensei’s favorite meditation mats. The Penguin panicking, pulled out a water Card-Jitsu card, and using it, caused the room to fill up with water, as he had forgotten the Inkling was scared of it. The room filled up with water, and without realizing it, the Penguin had just killed his new best friend. After the Ink had vanished, the Penguin would look to where the Inkling had just been, but saw nothing. Saddened, the Penguin simply frowned, and returned home to feed his puffles…
K.O!
Analysis[]
Midnight: Damn press F to pay respects.
Noon: Yeah this fight was surprisingly close. While the Inkling had tons of weapons, the Penguin had more reliable ways to end the fight.
Midnight: The Inkling's die in water, and Penguin had plenty of ways to submerge the Inkling. Another way he could end the fight is by erasing the Inkling.
Noon: Yeah the Penguin had the skills, abilities and arsenal to end the fight.
Midnight: Now in some of you may be asking, "Doesn't Inkling have infinite lives? Couldn't they just revive constantly?" And the answer is no, because as far as we can see, this is simply a game mechanic, and also requires an ink pool to work. Since this fight takes place in a nuetral location, these ink pools wouldn't exsist.
Noon: In the end, Inkling fought hard, but couldn't Peng-win
Midnight: The winner is... the Penguin.
Trivia[]
- Midnight made a map of the fight, placing dots at the loctaions the fight took place at. The map can be found here.