| Indiana Jones VS Jack Sparrow | |
|---|---|
| Season | TBA |
| Overall Episode | TBA |
| Season Episode | TBA |
| Air date | TBA |
| Written by | Shadow7615 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous TBA |
Next TBA |
| “ | Indiana Jones VS Pirates of the Caribbean! | „ |
Indiana Jones vs. Jack Sparrow is an upcoming episode of DEATH BATTLE! by Shadow7615, featuring Indiana Jones from the Indiana Jones series and Captain Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean series in a battle between witty movie anti-heroes.
Interlude[]
Indiana Jones[]
Jack Sparrow[]
DEATH BATTLE![]
Conclusion[]
Original Track[]
Trivia[]
| Adventures in Raiding! | |
|---|---|
| Season | 1 |
| Season Episode | 4 |
| Air date | I don’t remember :D |
| Written by | Cheesypickles564 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Atrocitus vs Jiren |
Next Hornet vs Specter Knight |
Indiana Jones vs Jack Sparrow is Cheesypickles564’s Fourth Death Battle, featuring Indiana Jones from the series of the same name and Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean in a battle of two quick-thinking treasure hunters.
Description[]
Indiana Jones vs Pirates of the Caribbean! These two treasure hunters are incredibly quick thinkers, but let’s see how they fare against each other!
Interlude[]
Puppy: The thrill of adventure. The adrenaline of a journey. Things like these, humanity has been craving for years. They’ve written stories about heroes going on dangerous quests to fulfill these needs!
Kitty: Heroes like Indiana Jones, the half-archaeologist half-professor!
Puppy: And Jack Sparrow, the rum-drinking, quick witted pirate.
Kitty: He’s Puppy and I’m Kitty!
Puppy: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Indiana Jones Thinks DEATH BATTLE! Belongs in a Museum![]
(Cue: Indiana Jones Theme)
Kitty: *obnoxiously singing the Indiana Jones theme* Y’know, no theme is as iconic as this! It’s perfect! I especially love the part where it-
Puppy slaps Kitty.
Puppy: Kitty, we’re here to analyze Indiana Jones, not his theme. Besides, it’s not even that good.
Kitty: Well then, what’s better?
Puppy pauses for a brief moment.
Puppy: Touché.
Kitty: Born in New Jersey, Jonesy’s life was heavily inspired by his parents lives. He was taken all around the world and met up with multiple important figures which helped shape his life a bit more! And he was soon given a lecture about… rocks.
Puppy: However, when these gallant journeys came to a close, Jones’ mother-
Kitty: Bit the dust, kicked the bucket, hit the big adios, got smoked, went belly-up, expired, went sleepin’ with the fishes, expired-
Puppy: Jones was soon hired as an archaeology teacher for the University of Chicago, and he’d soon get another teaching job at Marshall College, where he would stray away from the normal teaching regimen and gain his infamous nickname Indiana Jones, which was his dog’s name.
Kitty: Pfft, what insolent, stupid, hollow-headed, idiotic fool would name themselves after a mangy, flea-covered mutt?
Puppy slaps Kitty before continuing.
Kitty: Yeesh.
Puppy: Soon, Jones became a legend in the Treasure-Hunting business because of his multiple talents, which included expert marksmanship and swordsmanship. Some of his more iconic adventures include finding the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, The Philosopher’s Stone and more!
Kitty: And being a protagonist, Indi’s gotta have his weapon of choice! The thing you always see him with, the main weapon in Lego games, the character’s main attack in Mortal Kombat, etcetera! Jones’ weapon of choice is his trusty whip. He can swing it, he can hit people, he can use it to get across ditches and large holes! It’s multipurposed! He’s also got his trusty gun, the Modelè Revolver, which you can use if you’ve got dysentery and don’t want to swordfight!
Puppy: That’s oddly situational. Anyways, Jones also has a pupil enchanted by the wizard Merlin, which lets him see through the eyes of the mighty eagle, which allows him to see the future, use telepathic powers and see very well!
Kitty: So Indi’s basically got himself a Jojo stand?
Puppy attempts to say something, but stops before he makes matters worse.
Puppy: Continuing from a topic brought up earlier, Henry’s been on multiple crazy adventures. And he’s left with both treasures and ladies.
Kitty: Yep! Jones has gained lots of bitches during his multiple quests! Anyways, despite ditching most of the ladies, he’s got some feats up his belt!
Feats[]
- Ran multiple operations for the Allies to fight back against Nazi forces
- Took on a tank and three trucks
- Casually outspeeds, outsmarts and outdoes booby-trapped areas
- Defeated the sorcerer Mola Ram
- Casually overpowers supernatural forces, as well as having run-ins with the wrath of god
- Outsped a speeding Boulder
- Wrestled someone who could move storm clouds
Faults[]
- Fear of snakes
- Despite being an amazing one, he is still just a human
- Became more fragile as he aged
- Indiana Jones: I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.
Jack Sparrow Tumbles into DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue: He's A Pirate)
Puppy: Long, long ago, during the great ages of piracy-
Kitty: Wait, you said we’d do something interesting today! Are we just talking about those people that steal movies?
Puppy: Now, not that type of piracy, we’re talking about the scallywags of the 1700’s! Anyways, in the fictional world of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean, the sea is chock full of paranormal beasts and other dangers, and only the strongest pirates survived.
Kitty: And among the strong pirates, there were the Pirate Lords, lords of the sea! As time passed, each lord moved on and passed their spot in the Pirate Lords on to the next generation. During the fourth generation, a new pirate lord arose to get his name in the history books! This was Jack Sparrow.
Puppy: Born in a typhoon, Sparrow has always been through multiple adventures since he was born. He sought out glamorous treasures and fought dastardly pirates whom opposed him!
Kitty: And years later, Jack was abandoned on an island to die by his crew mate, Hector Barbossa, who hijacked his ship!
Puppy: So he sought revenge, and eventually got it, before having to fight against Davy Jones, the squid-faced wretch of the seas!
Kitty: And after beating Jones, Jack went on many more adventures whilst being praised as one of the best pirates of all time!
Puppy: Now, being a pirate, Jack has access to a cutlass, a Hanger Cutlass, to be exact. He also has a flintlock for ranged combat, or when you just want to fire warning shots.
Kitty: He has a compass with a paranormal sense of direction, as well as his most powerful weapon: The Jar of Dirt.
Feats[]
- Was able to hold his own against Will Turner, Norrington, Barbossa, and Davy Jones in sword fighting
- Escaped Davy Jones' locker
- Managed to shoot the Dead Men's Chest out of Davy Jones' hand despite being in the middle of a maelstrom
- Unpredictability helps in combat
- Won the three-way duel between William Turner and James Norrington by getting the key to the Dead Man's Chest
- Was left to die on a deserted island by Barbossa with naught but a flintlock pistol for ten years and still managed to escape
- Was the Pirate Lord of the Caribbean
- Was able to hit a crew member of the Flying Dutchmen with a coconut
- Found the Fountain of Youth
- Became the Chief of Cannibals
- Survived being sent down a waterfall
- Started the events leading up to the events of "World's End"
- Survived encounters with Captain Salazar multiple times
- Accidently fell from the top of a cliff and survived with little to no injuries, and next to nothing to break his fall.
Faults[]
- Quite literally the worst Swordsmen in the Pirates of the Caribbean universe
- Selfish
- Labeled as the worst pirate by multiple people
- Sense of morality can get the better of him
- May be insane
- Has made a lot of enemies
- It's unknown if he plans everything from the start
- Has been captured several times
- Jack's luck has been known to wear out on several occasions.
- Jack Sparrow: This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.
Pre-Fight[]
On a rusted, broken down pedestal stood a totem of unknown beginnings, covered by an old blanket to prevent anyone from obtaining it. Soon, a head, unseeable because of the shadows produced by the cave the totem resided in, rises behind the tarp, and pulls it down. Two rather dirty hands grab the totem and swipe it away, before replacing the mystical artifact with a large, cylindrical object.
A few moments after, heavy panting is heard as a man clad in torn, sweaty clothes slowly walks up the stairs leading to the totem. This was the legendary treasure hunter, Indiana Jones. He was cut up and bruised, with a large snake gnawing on his leg.
“Snakes, why’d it have to be snakes?”
Once he reaches the pedestal, he lets out a short sigh of relief, before yanking the sheet in expectation, but the sight was quite odd.
Instead of a legendary artifact standing on the dirty pedestal, it was a jar. A jar of nothing, but dirt.
“Shit! Shit! Where is it?!?!”
Suddenly, the professor heard a hearty cackle, as a well as multiple steps. Soon, a voice erupted from a tunnel in the cave. “It’s mine now!” the cackling voice said.
Dr. Henry Jones slowly trotted down the tunnel, before eyeing a cackling man wearing pirate garbs and big boots slowly walking down the tunnel as well. “That belongs in a museum!” Yelled Jones, which almost immediately caught the man’s attention. He took of his hat and bowed. After doing that act, he broke into a sprint and dashed further down the tunnel in attempts to escape. Indy readied his whip, as well as his gun, and broke into a sprint to chase the man.
“Get back here!”
Fight[]
(Cue: Bullet Dodger)
Indiana Jones lunged at Jack Sparrow in an attempt to take the artifact, but the pirate leaped away and bolted further down the path, mocking Jones. Jones sighed and darted after the pirate.
“That belongs in a museum!” Yelled Jones as he finally caught up to Jack, but the pirate chuckled and said “How about- no?” Before dashing away to return to his ship.
Jones brought out his whip and sent an attack towards Jack, but the pirate unsheathed his sword and put it in the way of the whip, causing the impact between both Indi’s and Jack’s weapons to make the whip coil and knot around the cutlass and send it flying back towards Jones.
Henry took a few seconds to realize what had happened, and once he noticed, he dropped his whip and ducked, causing the cutlass to pierce the cave wall.
Before Jones could even begin to process whatever the hell just happened, Jack dashed up to Jones and delivered a blow to the archaeologist’s face, before leaping over him and grabbing his sword from the cave wall. Jack rose his sword and thrusted it down towards Jones’ back, but Indi rolled away and shot at Jack, who dodged the bullet but was now intimidated.
Jones and Jack look at each other and Jack says “What, you tryin’ to kill me or somethin’?”
Jones unleashed another round from his revolver towards Jack, who dodged and rushed back at Jones with his sword. Jones quickly breaks off a stalagmite from the cave’s bottom, holds up his arms and raises it in a defensive stance, and Jack charged at him, swinging his sword and knocking the stalagmite out of Jones’ hand. Jones still held up the revolver, but just before Jack could slash him, the gun malfunctions, failing to fire.
Jack takes this opportunity to rush forward and slice Jones across the stomach, but the archaeologist swerves behind the blow and had his fist meet Jack’s head, causing the pirate to stumble over and the artifact to tumble out of his pocket.
“Now’s my chance!” Whispered Jones to himself as he dashed to grab the artifact before Jack could recover. Jones dove towards Jack, grabbed the artifact, and was about to put it back in his pocket, when Jack punched him hard in the face, and Jones slammed into a nearby boulder and fell to the ground, still clutching the artifact in his hand.
Jack started to mock the archaeologist, but was greeted by a blast from Indy’s revolver, which narrowly missed him. “Try again!” Yelled Jack in a cheery tone as he ran over to the recovering Indy and grabbed the artifact. “Yoink!”
“I’m not done yet!” Said Jones as he kicked the celebrating Sparrow in the crotch and grabbed the artifact, only for Indy’s opponent to uppercut him, causing the archaeologist to drop the artifact. When Jack went to pick it up, Jones roundhouse kicked him and grabbed it. This continued for a few moments of what essentially seemed like a violent game of Hot Potato, before Jack delivered a horrid blow to Jones’ face, leaving the artifact open for grabs.
Jack grabbed the artifact and dashed down another tunnel.
“Oh, not again.” Mumbled Jones as he managed to get up. He groaned before running down the same tunnel.
Jack was about to enter another tunnel, before he heard a loud gunshot, and footsteps afterwards. Sparrow took out his Flintlock, and once Jones reached the tunnel, he opened fire, blasting at Indy, who managed to duck. But the unfortunate cave could not duck for cover, and stalactites were blasted by Jack’s gun, causing them to fall from the roof of the cave.
“You idiot, this will collapse the cave!” Yelled Jones at Jack.
“Who said anything about me staying in the cave, hm?”
Jack broke into a sprint to find an exit and his archaeology influenced assailant followed. As soon as Jack came to a stop, Jones grabbed him, smashed his face against the cave wall and stole the artifact. He almost made it to the exit as well, before the cave came crashing down in that area and sealing off the exit.
Indiana Jones quickly bolted down the cave to find an exit, but Jack did not want him to leave with the artifact, so he followed him. The Pirate shot at Indy, who evaded the bullets whilst holding on to the artifact, before bolting down another cave tunnel.
Jack tried to ambush Indy, but his efforts did not go far, as a swinging door became open and revealed that some booby traps had been bypassed. This time, there were two cannons that fired at Indy, who barely dodged them and the door swung shut. Jack tried to catch him using a secret tunnel, but Indy pursued him and forced him to the ground. Jack spun around and shot Indy, but Indy returned fire and knocked him to the ground.
They began to wrestle, with Indy putting Jack into a headlock. Jack rose to his feet and grabbed a stalagmite which was rising from below. Indy attempted to hit Jack with his fist but missed, and Jack smacked Indy in the head. Indy fell nearly unconscious, and Jack climbed back up to his feet and snatched the artifact.
While Indy was recovering, Jack began to traverse the underground chambers, but realized he had walked into another booby trap. This time, he had stepped on a trip-wire, and soon, poison-laced arrows shot rapidly out of holes in the walls. Jack nimbly dodged them all before pursuing the exit once more, with Indy running back towards him.
“You have experience with traps, eh?” Said Indy as he was chasing Jack.
The Pirate smirked and stopped for a bit. “I’m the best pirate around, of course I do!” Jack soon unsheathed his cutlass once more, with the pale, white blade glimmering in the spurts of sunlight that were piercing the walls of the crumbling cave.
The top of the cave started to collapse, with pieces tumbling down and shattering on impact with the earth. Indy gulped a bit, before getting in a fighting stance whilst Jack readied his blade.
After dodging a slash from Jack’s sword, the cave eventually gave way and part of it collapsed, covering the only available exit. With nowhere else to go, Jack held his ground and finally slashed the exposed eye of Indy.
The pirate laughed hysterically and yelled out, “Ha! Funny game, but it’s over!” The two then turned to each other, and Indy, with one missing eye, noticed a small hole in the collapsing cave, and he dashed towards it. He smashed Jack’s head against the cave wall, and readied himself to leap down. Suddenly, Jack Sparrow came from behind and pushed him down the hole, before jumping out after.
“Urgh, I don’t feel too hot.” Indy slowly stood up. He should’ve died from the fall, but something… Indy, exhausted from the heat, put his hand on his landing spot and it seemed wooden. Something wooden must’ve broken his fall. He held his hand over his missing eye, and stood up slowly, but right when he stood up completely, Jack Sparrow was standing right there, and held his cutlass up to his throat. Indy thought to himself, before realizing where he was. He was on… a pirate ship? Jack laughed and downed a bottle of rum in one go, before pushing the blade closer to his throat.
“Let’s end this, mate!”
(Cue: When Legends Rise)
Jones stood up slowly and held his hand over his bleeding eye, before thrusting both of his hands forwards and snatching Sparrow’s blade as the pirate was drinking more rum.
“Hey, that’s mine!” Yelled the disgruntled pirate before he was kicked into the ship’s mast.
Jack dashed at Indy and clocked him in the face, but Jones dodged the blow and slashed at Jack, who dodged and grabbed the blade.
After a long game of tug-of-war with the blade, Jones was victorious and kicked Jack into the other side of the ship, where he hit a few barrels of TNT, which detonated and created a huge hole in the side of the ship.
The boat began to take in water, and was eventually cast out into the sea.
“That’s not good.” Mumbled Jones under his breath before his opponent dashed up to him and attempted to finish him with another cutlass that was on the boat.
Both swung the swords at each other, with every blow being blocked by their opponent, the sounds of metal being viciously smashed together was unable to be heard with the sounds of the raging sea overtaking the sounds. Both weapons, glimmering in the sunlight, repeatedly clash together.
Indy and Jack take their swordfight all around the boat, accidentally pacing backwards whilst clashing. Jack soon knocked Indy’s weapon out of his hands, only for Jones to unleash his whip and deliver a blow to Jack’s face.
Jones rushed up to the Pirate and put him in a headlock, with both combatants wrestling on the ship’s floor. Suddenly, a typhoon appeared in the distance, slowly pulling the ship into it’s watery grasp.
Indy and Jack clashed once more with the swords, whilst the ship was being pulled into the typhoon. Suddenly, both’s weapons flew out of their hands, with the typhoon coming closer and absorbing miscellaneous items around the ship.
The vessel was eventually thrown into the air by the typhoon, with small pieces of it breaking off and zooming off in the wind. Both adventurers, however, still clashed during the force of nature’s rage.
With the ship being torn apart, both fighters were on the verge of being consumed by the typhoon, but Indy threw a bottle of rum that was lying on the side of the ship at Jack, stunning him. Indy went in for a finishing blow, before being kicked back.
“It’s over fer ya, mate!” Said Jack in a confident tone as he pulled out his revolver. He was about to shoot when…
Indy’s whip wrapped around his legs and pulled him towards Jones. The archaeologist pulled out his gun, and with a bang, Jack had a bullet through his heart. Before the corpse could slip off the ship, Jones reached in and grabbed the artifact from the pirate’s pocket. A few moments later, the storm subsided.
“Now how the hell am I gonna get back to shore?”
KO!
Ending Screen A: Indiana Jones is seen swimming back to shore. Right when he arrives, a group of Nazis are stranding right there, in hopes of retrieving his treasure.
Ending Screen B: Jack Sparrow’s corpse is floating along in the water, before being gobbled up by a huge fish.
Conclusion[]
Kitty: Holy cow, that was epic!
Puppy: This was a hard match to decipher, with both combatants being evenly matched in both categories.
Kitty: Now let’s start with strength. Sure, Jack was impressive, having matched powerhouses like Davy Jones in swordfighting, as well as being able to best said foes, Jones’ wacky amount of strength just blew Jack out of the water! He could wrestle someone who could move storm clouds, with ease!
Puppy: Onto another factor, durability. Jack could survive multiple falls off of cliffs, waterfalls and more, and Indy could do the same. Yes, at first, this category seems very one-sided, but the Nuke feat is a clear outlier. Because of this, durability was a tied category.
Kitty: Now with speed, both combatants could outrun multiple bullets, gunfire and more, but Indy had this advantage as well, with Henry having dodged lightning! Keep in mind, lightning moves at 5920 km per second, with the average bullet moving at 1000 metres per second.
Puppy: However, there was a clear gap in marksmanship. Indy’s impressive with a gun, sure, but that doesn’t compare to shooting a chest out of someone’s hand in the middle of a maelstrom! Experience was also a tied category, however.
Kitty: But marksmanship doesn’t help when your opponent is stronger, faster, and overall more competent than you!
Puppy: Jack Sparrow put up a mighty fight, but he just couldn’t compare to Indy’s speed, strength and consistency.
Kitty: It seems like someone has finally caught Jack Sparrow!
Puppy: The winner is Indiana Jones.
Next Time[]
Hornet: Come no closer, ghost. I've seen you, creeping through the undergrowth, stalking me.
Specter Knight: She granted me new life... So that I may take yours!
Trivia[]
- The connections between Indiana Jones and Jack Sparrow are that they are both very popular adventuring heroes who aren’t very interested in the welfare of others, but more for treasures, which they hunt for repeatedly. They are also both very witty and intelligent fighters who can turn horrible situations into absolute wins.
- This Battle would be animated in sprite, or done in live action, true to their onscreen origins.
- The soundtrack for this battle would be called “Looting Legends, referencing both’s tendency to hunt for treasures and other loot, as well as being legends in their respective worlds.
- The cover consists of Jack’s blade with Indiana’s whip coiled around it, and said blade piercing a cave floor.