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Death Battle Illithid vs Malamar

Description[]

Dungeons and Dragons vs Pokemon! The Mind Squids enter the ring. Who comes out on top?

Interlude[]

Wiz: The ocean, the most mysterious part of our world, even though it takes up most of our planet, there is very little we know about it.

Boomstick: And what we do know is really fucked up! I mean seriously, look at this shit !

Wiz: In the ocean, one of the many mysterious species is the squid, these creatures occasionally have special abilities, for example: the manipulation of the mind.

Boomstick: Illithid, the Mind Flyer.

Wiz: And Malamar, the Overturning Pokemon. For this assesment, we will be using an average Illithid, with the abilities of a Psionic. And using a Malamar with all naturally learned moves.

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.




Illithid[]

Wiz: In the World of Underdark, there are many horrifying species, but few are as feared as the Illithids.

Boomstick: And for good reason too!

Wiz: The Mind flyers are feared for their ability to affect the minds of their opponents.

Boomstick: Yeah, giant monsters with claws and fire breath are scary enough, but these things can fuck with you without even touching you! How the hell do these things even come about anyways? It looks like the result of a three-way between Davy Jones, Harry Potter and Mother Brain!

Wiz: Saying that this species' origin is messed up, would be the understatement of the century. The Illithids start out as small tadpoles that eventually infect the human brain, like some sort of tumor, they grow inside the brain of the victem, altering their appearance and completely taking over their body.

Boomstick: ... Excuse me for a second. (barfing sounds) That is disgusting! (Continiues to barf)

Wiz: Boomstick, not the rug! Josiline just cleaned that!

Boomstick: Ok, I'm better now... NO I'M NOT!! (Continiues to barf)

(Some time later)

Boomstick: Ok... I got it all out.

Wiz: Are you sure?

Boomstick: Positive.

Wiz: Ok then, let's move on. The Illithids have a multitude of abilities, such as the powerful mind blast to affect a large group of foes at once, the mind blast is a 60 foot 20 meter cone that stuns anyone caught in it temporarily. The mind flyer can also cast three different mind-affecting spells, including charm monster, a spell that turns an enemy monster into the users own ally. Detect thoughts, a spell that allows the Illithid to "listen" to its opponents surface thoughts. Suggestion, a spell that compells the subject to follow a stated course of action, however this spell is extremely language-dependant. Levitate, a spell that allows the Illithid to lift and throw objects or creatures with its mind. Plane shift, an an ability that allows the Illithid to move it and its foe into a different plane of existance.

Boomstick: Illithids also looove to play mind games, they can lower their opponents intelligence, or lower their energy so they have trouble fighting. And can use an ability, with a name that I'm not going to even try to pronoune, to increase their own physicality, psychic ablities, and intelligence, it's at this point that you realise you're fucked.

Wiz: Illithids are primarily hunters, and are not as attuned for combat, making them somewhat inexperienced in long, drawn out combat, and prefer to stun their foes quickly, and then drag them away and uses its extract ability to suck out the brains of the victem, killing it.

Boomstick: Even with that, you still do not want to come across this thing without some way to defend against mind attacks... And a barf bag! (barfs).

Malamar[]

Wiz: Imagine this; You are in the Kalos region, you hear rumors that some Pokemon and people have gone missing near an abandoned research center, you go to check out the scene, you see a flash, and then nothing...

Boomstick: If that happened, then you probably had a run-in with Malamar.

Wiz: Malamar is a Dark/Psychic Pokemon native to the Kalos region.

Boomstick: Being a part Dark type, Malamar is immune to Psychic type attacks, (shows Malamar getting hit by Psycho Cut) ahem, I said Malamar is immune to Psychic type attacks, (shows two Malamar getting hit by Psycho Cut) I SAID MALAMAR IS IMMUNE TO PSYCHIC ATTACKS!!!! (Shows Malamar getting hit by Psybeam and Thunderbolt and not taking any damage) Thank you.

Wiz: Malamar has average stats for the most part, with its average HP, its above average Attack, its average Defence, its below average Special attack, its average Special Defence, and its average speed.

Stats:

  • HP: 86
  • Attack: 92
  • Defence: 88
  • Special Attack: 68
  • Special Defence: 75
  • Speed: 73
  • Stat Total: 482

Boomstick: Now you'd think that low Special attack stat would be a problem for a Psychic type right? Nope! Malamar has plenty of Physical attacks to back up its fairly high attack stat. He has Reversal, a move that does more damage the less HP he has. Psycho Cut, a powerful Psychic type, Physical attack with a high Critical hit chance. Night Slash, which is basically a Dark type version of Psycho Cut. Slash, a Normal type version of both of those.

Moves:

  • Reversal
  • Tackle
  • Peck
  • Constrict
  • Reflect
  • Foul Play
  • Swagger
  • Psywave
  • Topsy-Turvy
  • Hypnosis
  • Psybeam
  • Switcheroo
  • Payback
  • Light Screen
  • Pluck
  • Psycho Cut
  • Slash
  • Night Slash
  • Superpower

Wiz: Psychic can allow Malamar to alter the environment in any conceivable way, similar to telepathy. Reflect halves the Physical damage to it for a short while, and Light Screen is the same, but for Special, or ranged, attacks. Swagger confuses the opponent and raises their attack, leaving it with a 50% chance of attacking themselves and doing increased damage. Psybeam, a damaging Psychic attack that has a 10% chance of confusing the target. Payback will do double damage if used immediately after the opponent does damage to it. Foul Play uses the opponents attack stat rather than its own to determine how much damage it does. It also has its signature move Topsy-Turvy, which flips over any stat changes done to the target, and its ability Contrary automatically flips over any stat changes to itself. It takes full advantage of this ability with Superpower, a move than normally lowers the user's own Attack and Defence, but with Contrary, it raises its Attack and Defence. According to the Pokedex, Malamar have the most compelling Hypnotic Powers of ANY Pokemon!

Boomstick: Since this thing has more powerful Hypnosis abilities than date rapist Hypno, whose name is literally based off of Hypnosis, 5000 I.Q. Alakazam, and most powerful Psychic type Mewtwo, that says a lot!

Wiz: His hypnosis abilities come from a trait possessed by some species of squid that can flash lights on their body to either repel predators, or attract prey. The pattern on their stomach, after they light it up, compels the victim to obey Malamar.

Boomstick: Damn, that'd be cool, making people do what you want just by flashing a light in their eyes! Hey Wiz, hand me that flash light.

Wiz: Sure.

Boomstick: You will get me a beer! (Flashing the light in his eyes)

Wiz: Boomstick, stop, that's really annoying!

Boomstick: Dammit! But Malamar is really good with this power and abuses it to the fullest extent! As he used his hypnotic abilities to hypnotize a large group of Pokemon, including Ash's Pikachu, to be his personal army, and hypnotized an Officer Jenny to pose as "Madame X" the leader, when he was in control all along! Oh, and when Ash and his friends tried to get Pikachu back, he hypnotized them one by one, until Ash and Meowth were the only ones left, and then had Pikachu attack them! Oh, and the thing that Ash usually does to snap Pikachu out of mind control didn't work!

Wiz: He and his two Malamar partners used their hypnotic abilities to force a group of scientists to create a machine that would alter the planet into an environment perfectly suited for them. Which almost worked, but thanks to the power of croissant ex machina, Ash and his friends, along with Team Rocket and the same Officer Jenny that was forced into acting as Madame X were able to stop the Overturning Pokemon, but the three were able to escape, and they will return...

Boomstick: But, despite all the awesomeness of this cool calamari, he still has his down falls, as a Dark/Psychic type, he takes x2 damage from Fairy Type attacks, and x4 damage from Bug type attacks.

Wiz: His lack of Speed and Special attack can be crippling, as he has no way to raise them without the opponent trying to lower them. Also, he has very limited variety, with only five types of attacks at his disposal. (Normal, Flying, Psychic, Dark, Fighting)

Boomstick: Even with those faults, you still do not want to cross this Psychic Squid without being 110% prepared!

(Meowth cuts down a planet figurine and it falls above Malamar until he stops it with Psychic and throws it, while Meowth and Ash escape. Malamar screeches as the scene changes.)

Pre-fight Prep[]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, its time to end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A SQUID DEATH BATTLE!

Death Battle[]

In a distant mountain, three trucks drove up the side path, up the mountain. Once the trucks arrived, three squid-like Pokemon floated out of them, Malamar. The backs of the trucks opened, and inside them were diamond-shaped devices with unknown purposes.

The three calamari's levitated the devices with their minds, setting the machines up in a circular formation for their sinister purposes. The devices stared to glow red, and began forming a large sphere of energy in between, and above them.

As the machines started to fulfill their purpose, they heard a noise, and all three dropped the devices. One of the Malamar decided to go and seek out the noise, and told the other two stay where they are and keep an eye out for other intruders.

The Malamar looked around for the intruder and he stumbled upon a human-like figure with a large, green, brain sticking out as its head. Tentacles where its mouth should be, and a large black robe.

Malamar tried to warn the creature to leave, however, the two did not share a language, and Malamar figured that it should use a universal language, violence.

The Overturning Pokemon sent a sythe of purple energy, Psycho Cut, from its arm-tentacle towards the creature's general direction to threaten it away, however, the man-like-squid creature forced a boulder to levitate from the ground to defend itself, and then sent a cone-like beam of energy, Mind Blast, to attack Malamar, however Malamar manipulated the beam, using Psychic, to deviate away from its intended target and miss it completely. The two squids glared at each other, realising that neither would back down without a battle.

FIGHT!

The Illithid immidiately tried to conquer Malamar's mind, however it proved very difficult, as Malamar seemed to have resistance to mind control, and the Mind Flyer could not do what it was best known for.

Malamar also attempted to conquer the Illithid without resorting to physical combat, it flashed its bodily lights in an attempt to control its opponent, however it also had difficulty, as the Illithid had high level mental defences. The Overturning Pokemon realised there would be no choice but to overpower its adversary.

Malamar's tentacle-arm glowed a sinister purple-ish, black-ish hue, Night Slash, and it slashed across its opponent multiple times. The Illithid stepped back, realising it would have to be tricky, it thought that it could lower its adversary's intelligence, making it easier to control it.

It used its abilities to enter Malamar's mind, and lowered its intelligence. 'There,' it thought, 'now I should be able to control it.' The Mind Flyer once again attempted to control Malamar, however, it was more difficult than the previous attempt. 'Odd,' the creature thought, 'maybe I should try again.' And once again, the Illithid attempted to lower Malamar's intelligence, and then tried to control Malamar for the third time, however, it became even more difficult a task, to the point where it was completely impossible.

Before the Mind Flyer had time to question this odd phenomenon further, Malamar once again went on the offensive, its beak glew a bright white, Pluck, and pecked the Illithid multiple times, causing great harm, then Malamar switched gears and grabbed the Illithid, spun, flipped upside down, and threw it, Foul Play.

The Illithid's body scraped against the ground, and it was in great pain. However, it had to focus. Malamar full-body charged at the Illithid, however, before it landed, the Mind Flyer used Levitate, and made stones rise from the ground, these stones came up from the ground, and forced Malamar in the opposite direction, and then forced him back towards the Illithid, ad just before Malamar was forced into the Illithid, the Mind Flyer used a powerful blast of energy on the Overturning Pokemon, Mind Blast.

'That is it.' Illithid thought, 'He is stunned, I can kill him now.' As he began walking towards Malamar, a red energy glowed around Malamar, Superpower, and he rammed into Illithid, hard.

'What is this?!' The Illithid questioned, 'He should be paralyzed!' Once again, Malamar's body glowed red once again, and he rammed the Illithid, it hurt even more. The Illithid tried to Mind Blast Malamar over and over again, but Malamar seemed faster than before.

'Why?' The Illithid was confused, it attempted to read Malamar's mind, 'Tell me your secrets.' Doing so produced no results, however, as Malamar tried to ram Illithid with Superpower again, it stopped and its body shivered, the Paralysis affect was kicking in. The Illithid Mind Blasted the Overturning Pokemon once again. Malamar was forced a distance away. However, the effect seemed to be wearing off, 'I must act fast. Perhaps I can empower myself.' It increased its own Physicality, Psychic abilities, and Intelligence. It looked at its opponent again, as it slowly rose, 'I may want to empower myself again.' So it increased its own abilities again, and again, and again, and then one last time just to be safe. 'Hah, there is no way this beast will be able to defeat me now. I am stronger, have more powerful psychic abilities, and have higher intelligence, he cannot resist me now.' Malamar rose fully, 'No matter, he will never defeat me now.' However, sooner than Illithid could react, a wave of dark energy from Malamar washed over him. However, it oddly caused no damage. Illithid laughed, he was so powerful now that this creatures attacks could no longer harm him, but the attack was not meant to cause damage, it fully served its purpose.

As Illithid laughed, it did not realise its power weakening, its psychic abilities lowering, and its intelligence falling. The attack Malamar used was Topsy-Turvy, but this move did more than just reverse Illithids changes, it flipped them over!

Illithid's power, psychic abilities, and intelligence fell to a level lower than it was before he powered up. At this point, Malamar's bodily lights glowed for the last time he would need it, as the Illithid was too dim-witted at this point to resist Malamar's control. Its mind had been conquered.

Malamar floated over to its adversary, making sure that it was not faking. When it was certain that it was serious, Malamar used Night Slash once again, cutting the Illithid's head off, once the head was it the air, it used Psycho Cut to slice it in half.

K.O.

Conclusion[]

Boomstick: Holy shit, that was awesome!

Wiz: The Illithid had many options to take Malamar down, but Malamar could counter just about anything that Illithid could throw at it. Such as Psychic having more control over objects than Levitate, and Reflect and Light Screen being able to lessen the damage from Illithids attacks.

Boomstick: Malamar being a Psychic and Dark type helped it out too, as Illithid would not be able to control it. And Illithids usually make others do the fighting for them, making them inexperienced in combat which Malamar would be very skilled in combat, being a Pokemon and all.

Wiz: But most importantly, Illithids heavily rely on crippling opponents, or empowering themselves, by either lowering their opponents intelligence or energy, or raising their own physical power, psychic abilities, and intelligence, and that strategy really doesn't work on Malamar. With Malamar's ability, Contrary, any attempts at lowering its stats would only increase them, and if Illithid tried to empower itself, Malamar could simply use Topsy-Turvy to even the playing field.

Boomstick: Also, while the Mind Blast's side affect of stunning the opponent could be a problem, Paralysis is something Malamar would deal with on a daily basis as a Pokemon.

Wiz: Also, the side affect of lowering speed would not work because of Contrary.

Boomstick: This fight was mind blowing!

Wiz: The winner is Malamar.


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