Hulk vs. Goro is a what if Death Battle.
| Hulk vs. Goro | |
|---|---|
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| Season 1, Episode 2 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | December 22, 2017 |
| Written by | |
| Directed by | |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| BJ Blazkowic vs. Duke Nukem vs. Doomguy | TBD |
Description[]
It’s Marvel vs Mortal Kombat! Which one of these destructive monsters will destroy the other?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The Human race often judge people by their appearence instead of their character. Sometimes they are wrong-
Boomstick: And sometimes they were correct! Like with The Incredible Hulk, a monster that just wants to be left alone and smash shit.
Wiz: And Goro, the Mortal Kombat grand champion for over 500 years.
Boomstick: He‘s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it’s our jobs to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Hulk[]
Boomstick: Now we go to Goro!
Wiz: Boomstick! We can’t just leave them with that!
Boomstick: But’s it catchy! And it’s short and sweet!!
Wiz: Hulk’s history has changed from the 60’s Boomstick.
Boomstick: Alright fine! Let’s do this @$$ hole’s story.
Wiz: Doctor Bruce Banner had a troubled childhood, his dad was abusive to not only him but his mother. His father never wanted kids due to what we assume was the same tragic events that would occur to Bruce.
Boomstick: He’s dad got into a blind rage and killed his mom, he moved into his aunt’s, then got bit- I mean, he went onto a child prodigy and later became a wiz-
Wiz: We get it Boomstick. But you do realize Harry Potter wasn’t made in the 60’s right?
Boomstick: Does it matter?
Wiz: Yes Boomstick. Anyways, he did in fact become a child prodigy and even went to the top universities in the country including Oxford where he met Tony Stark who would later become Iron Man, and Harvard!
Boomstick: Eventually he would graduate and start studying gamma radiation.
Wiz: Correct Boomstick, however what ever future the doctor had was suddenly destroyed by a gamma bomb.
Boomstick: Oh shit!
Wiz: Due to a man simply not warning the soldier at the panel, The Incredible Hulk was born!
Hulk: HULK SMASH LITTLE MAN!!
Wiz: The Hulk can leap so high that he can escape earth’s atmosphere and enter space!
Boomstick: And can surprisingly travel 473 mph when so, damn! I know who can give Uber a run for their money!!
Wiz: The Hulk can survive Galactus’s blast which could kill any man. He has also lifted up and destroyed the scared flame which was built to withstand the strength of GODS.
Boomstick: God damn!
Wiz: The Hulk also has a healing factor that rivals Wolverine’s
Boomstick: Can this guy be beat?
Wiz: Well yes, although he sounds unbeatable he has been defeated before. The Hulk’s been defeated by the likes of Superman, to even Spider-Man!
Boomstick: What? Bullshit! Give me some proof!!
Boomstick: Oh..
Wiz: But even with these defeats, The Hulk is still a dangerous man to mess with.
Loki: Enough!! You dull creature, I will not be bullied by-
Goro[]
Wiz: 500 years ago, a half human half dragon hybrid defeated the shalin monk Kung Lao-
Boomstick: The Hat throwing guy?
Wiz: No Boomstick, this is his ancestor. Who happens to have the same name. That’s not important! What’s important is that, Goro defeated Kung Lao in Mortal Kombat and started a winning streak that lasted for 500 years.
Boomstick: That is until Bruce Lee came in and kicked his four armed ass ending the streak.
Wiz: It’s Liu Kang Boomstick.
Boomstick: Are you sure?
Wiz: Yes! Now as we were saying, Goro was finally defeated by Liu Kang who would later defeated Shang Tsung to become Mortal Kombat Champion and save Earthrealm from Shao Khan’s invasion.
Boomstick: Now enough of that boring backstory let’s get to the fun shit!
Wiz: Goro can shoot fireballs either through his mouth or his hands and can leap higher than the average man.
Boomstick: He then pretends to be Mario and starts stomping on his opponent’s head.
Wiz: He also grabs his opponents and starts bashing them in the skull repeatably then tosses them away.
Boomstick: Then there are his fatalities, he can rip his opponents in half or break their spine, or whatever the hell this guy wants.
Wiz: But just like any other Mortal Kombat contestant Goro has his weaknesses.
Boomstick: Like getting his ass kicked too much or his head getting cut off or all the above.
Wiz: But still, Goro is still tough to beat and he goes to show why he was undefeated for 500 years.
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!
Fight![]
We cut to Goro's lair as some of Shang Tsung's men carry an unconscious man to Goro.
Goro: Who is this?
Guard A: Some idiot who master Tsung has ordered to be killed.
Goro: hmph. Was expecting something different but what Tsung says I'll do.
Bruce: No...Betty...
Goro: Ha! Poor fool, he's dreaming about some dumb girl. Just keep dreaming pal. (Prepares to rip him in half until)
Bruce: You...Won't....You won't like me when I'm angry...
The guards and Goro laugh until
Goro: What the hell?
Hulk: HULK SMASH LITTLE MEN!!!!!
Hulk proceeds to do and Goro stands back until.
Hulk: HULK SMASH BIG MAN!!
Goro: You will try.
FIGHT!
Hulk leaps toward Goro and starts pounding on Goro's face until Goro kicks him into the ceiling and throws him onto the ground and starts strangling him.
Goro: I shall give you a Warrior's death.
Hulk: HULK WILL DESTROY FOUR ARMED MAN!!
Goro: You wi-
Hulk punches Goro in the face and he goes flying through the ceiling and into Shang Tsung's throne room.
Shang Tsung: GORO! What is th-
Hulk lands on to Shang Tsung and kills him. Hulk and Goro continue to battle until Hulk thunder claps and Goro is sent flying into Shao Khan's arena.
Goro: What the hell?! How did he?
Hulk lands and causes the ground to shake. He lifts a piece of the ground off and throws it at Goro who uses his fireballs to destroy the ruble.
Goro: You will not defeat me!
Hulk: GAMMA CHARGE!!
Goro: What?
Hulk gamma charges into Goro and Goro is sent flying. Goro lands and the Hulk starts running towards him but Goro leaps above him and kicks him in the gut and smashes him on the ground repeatably.
Goro: I was the Mortal Kombat Grand Champion for 500 years! What makes you think you can be-
Hulk then throws Goro into a wall and roars.
Hulk: HULK!.....SMASH!!
Hulk then smashes the floor and Goro is hit by the ruble. Goro tries to attack but Hulk rips of his lower arms.
Goro: AH!
Hulk then bashes Goros skull with both of his fists and roars.
K.O!
Hulk leaps out of the arena as Shao Khan appears and is confused.
Results[]
Boomstick: Damn!
Wiz: Goro simply hasn’t fought someone on the level of The Hulk. That’s why Goro was thrown off by Hulk’s durability and strengt.
Boomstick: “But but..Wiz! Goro was Mortal Kombat champion for 500 years! H-he-
Wiz: That really doesn’t matter at all here, since The Hulk had more power and easily defeated Goro. Sure, Hulk has lost to creatures the same size of him but in the end Hulk will still find a way to beat them.
Boomstick: But you got to give a hand to Goro, at least he tried.
Wiz: The winner is The Incredible Hulk.
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Next time on Death Battle[]
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!