Calm down? What does that mean?
Description[]
Marvel Comics vs. Powerpuff Girls! In a battle of cool vs. cute, which green, rage-filled, fan favorite of a team created by science will win? Will Hulk smash or will Buttercup prove that little girls can fight?
Introduction[]
Wiz: In every team, there are stereotypes. The leader, the brains, the nice guy, and-
Boomstick: And the strong, angry ones who beat up anyone who gets in their way!
Wiz: Right. And these two green powerhouses definitely know how to do that...maybe a little too well.
Boomstick: The Incredible Hulk, the Strongest There Is of the Avengers.
Wiz: And Buttercup, the Toughest Fighter of the Powerpuff Girls.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to test their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...a Death Battle.
Hulk[]
Wiz: Unstoppable. Indestructible. A raging beast. A god slayer. These are the descriptions fit few other than the Incredible Hulk, one of Marvel's strongest and recognizable characters.
Boomstick: But before he was known as the not so jolly green giant, he was simply Robert Bruce Banner, a child born to Brian and Rebecca Banner.
Wiz: A man of physics and atomic energy, Brian was surprisingly stressed all the time. And it didn't help that Bruce was already at a genius level intellect. So he turned to one thing that made him happy: alcohol.
Boomstick: Unfortunately for him and everything else, the alcohol made him lash out at others in anger including Bruce who was still a baby. This got so bad that he actually killed Rebecca and was sent to a mental hospital. Tony Stark was a alcoholic and you don't see him doing this. This guy's giving us all a bad name!
Wiz: Now a lonely child, Robert went to stay with his aunt where he made up an imaginary friend: the Hulk.
Boomstick: And this wasn't your normal Bing-Bong imaginary friend. This was a sociopathic friend that had advice for Bruce that was...less than helpful. Like that time he tried to get Bruce to blow up a school. Sounds kinda like you, Wiz.
Wiz: What, the fact that I'm a genius or me going around trying to blow up schools?
Boomstick: Eeeeeh...maybe both.
Wiz: Whatever.
Boomstick: That's how all serial killers start. I'm watching you, Wiz...
Wiz: *sigh* Anyway, Bruce's father had been released from his asylum after fifteen years and went to the grave of Rebecca where Bruce was also moping. Eventually, the two got into a fight which ended in Bruce slamming his father's head into Rebecca's tomb.
Boomstick: Wow. That's...that's pretty messed up.
Wiz: Because of his...less than sane voice in his head, Robert majored especially in gamma radiation and was assigned to build a deadly gamma bomb for war.
Boomstick: But some dumb kid decided to park dead center in the blast zone and play his harmonica, so Bruce had to gout out there in save him.
Wiz: And despite Bruce telling his colleague not to set it off, he was a Russian spy who set it off anyway. Bruce threw the kid out of the way and was hit. This is where he became the Incredible Hulk.
Boomstick: Now a seven foot six inch foot tall monster, Bruce's imaginary friend was now a horrifying reality. The two often fight for superiority of the mind and body of Bruce Banner, but when they make up their minds, it's pretty scary for whoever crosses them.
Wiz: Hulk is extremely strong able to lift up boulders, tanks, and much, much, much heavier things. More on lifting strength later.
Boomstick: He's also got a healing factor that can give anyone a run for their money. Wolverine, Deadpool, you name it, Hulk's healing factor is probably better than theirs. I mean, he's been flayed alive, regenerated in one minute, has been eaten by insects and regenerated in eleven minutes, and a lot more.
Wiz: He's also fast to outrun fighter jets, which puts him above Mach 5. And while we're on the top of leg strength, there was that time he jumped out of orbit with one jump.
Boomstick: However, Bruce decided if he was going to have a giant, green goliath as an alter ego, he would at least try to help out. And so he joined multiple teams, most notably the Avengers, and would prove to be their secret weapon.
Loki: I have an army.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
Wiz: Another one of Hulk's favorite moves is the Thunder Clap, where Hulk claps his hands and creates a shockwave that can level entire cities, make people deaf, deflect explosions, and even shake an entire multiverse. And then there's his famous Hulk Smash, where he slams the ground with his fists creating a deadly earthquake.
Boomstick: But one of Hulk's most defining abilities is that the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets. And seeing how strong he already is, that can be pretty scary.
Wiz: In theory, this means Hulk's power is limitless.
Boomstick: But when Hulk gets angry enough, he can tap in to some hidden power and become...World Breaker Hulk.
Wiz: Now much stronger, faster, with the intelligence of Bruce in the Hulk, the transformed goliath is essentially a unstoppable force of nature, which brings us to his extreme feats.
Boomstick: He held a 150 billion ton mountain, resisted a blast of fire from Fin Fang Foom that was made to kill him, shook the Eastern seaboard with a single step. Not a stomp, just a normal step. And one time, when he clashed with another Worldbreaker, they destroyed an entire planet. Oh, and he destroyed an asteroid twice the size of the earth with a single punch. Saitama, anyone?
Wiz: One time, when the splitting tectonic plates threatened the entire planet, Hulk jumped in and held them together. Keep in mind, a single lithospheric plate can weigh up to 45 quintillion tons!
Boomstick: But even Hulk has weaknesses. His anger is only is as limitless as long as his healing factor is intact. A certain gray beast taught us that once...
Wiz: And he can be reverted back by puppies or a good joke.
Boomstick: Really?
Wiz: But don't make him angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Red Hulk: I want the Hulk!
He squeezes Hawkeye's arm until he roars in pain. Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk.
Hulk: You want me? Come and get me.
Buttercup[]
Wiz: Professor Utonium. A well-respected scientist among the people of Townsvile. He had a lot. Smarts, a nice house, respect, but there was one thing missing from his life. Family.
Boomstick: So do you think he got out there, found himself a nice woman, get married, have kids, and settle down to live a rich and fulfilling life? Nope. He just remembered an old wive's tale.
Wiz: By using sugar, spice and everything else nice, whatever that means, he created three perfect little girls. But Professor Utonium accidentally added a special ingredient to his near-finished concoction. Chemical X.
Boomstick: And so three boring little girls were transformed into little Supermen -er- women. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Those are stupid names.
Wiz: Well, hey, he just became a father with three little girls now in his care. He didn't have a lot of time to think.
Boomstick: Sounds like you, Wiz. Hopeless and terrible at creating names.
Wiz: First, I'm Bruce and now I'm Utonium? Really? Even a neanderthal could come up with better insults.
Boomstick: Well, you...shu-...we-
Wiz: Well, that should shut him up for a while. Anyway, the three girls decided with their newfound powers, they would save the city with Townsville, which was home to a lot of kaiju-sized monsters.
Boomstick: You suck!
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: Shut up! Anyway, Blossom is the leader and the worst one. Bubbles is the nice one. And Buttercup is my daughter.
Wiz: ...Are you okay?
Boomstick: Listen, Wiz. We look alike, we have a lot in common, and our names even both start with 'b.'
Wiz: Whatever you wanna believe. Buttercup is often described as being the toughest of the trio. And while each have different feats-
Boomstick: They don't have feet, the have nubs.
Wiz: *ahem* Like I was saying, each girl has the same abilities, power, and speed, so we'll be counting all of them as one. We will be connecting each girl to their respective feat, but we'll also connect the feats to Buttercup since each girl is around the same level of power except for Buttercup who is often seen to be stronger.
Boomstick: Now since Buttercup is often be regarded as the strongest one, we'll start with strength. She can swim in lava, lift meteors, and submarine, and Blossom even threw Mojo Jojo's observatory into space.
Wiz: While attacking the Rowdyruff Boys, who are basically the evil Powerpuff Girls, Bubbles threw a bus, Blossom a plane, and Buttercup a ship. An average cruise ship can weigh up to 60,000 tons.
Boomstick: Then there's this one time a superhero named Big Ben challenged her to a lifting contest. Buttercup lifted a bus, a blue whale, and a skyscraper. After Big Ben picked up Mt. Everest, Buttercup lifted not only him, but the mountain.
Calculation from https://www.outsideonline.com+wild-file
Wiz: Going with the height of base to summit, we can safely assume the volume to be 2.1 trillion cubic feet. Multiply that times the density and without the ice and snow, Mount Everest weighs up to 357 trillion tons or 178,500,000,000 pounds. From what it looks like, Big Ben ripped of a fourth of the mountain. This means Buttercup lifted up at the very least seven hundred-fourteen million pounds or three hundred fifty-seven thousand tons while still holding Big Ben and that's if we lowball it!
Boomstick: My brain hurts.
Wiz: Ahh. Science.
Boomstick: Let's move on to durability now. Buttercup can be seen smashing entire monsters through buildings or vice versa and not be fazed, taking point blank gunfire from machine guns and standing there until they run out, and once the monster, Eye Carumaba, had a beam the can disintegrate entire city blocks with one shot, she and Bubbles tank these like they're simple beams of light.
Wiz: One time, the girls were dipped in acid and were completely fine.
Blossom: What do you know? Acid can't hurt us!
Boomstick: Well, that's dumb. Well, let's just say the girl can tank anything that comes her way. Now onto speed.
Wiz: The girls have often been seen breaking the speed of light very easily. Like that one time they entered an alternate dimension by racing home from school.
Boomstick: A bunch of six-year-old girls beat the Scarlet Speedster to it. Not entirely sure how I feel about that.
Wiz: Get ready, Boomstick, because we have another math feat!
Boomstick: Nooo...
Wiz: Bubbles was in a race with the cyborg speedster, E-Mail. The race was said to be around the world, which E-Mail can do in around seven seconds. E-Mail had a head start as Bubbles was distracted. But she somehow catches up with ease. Bubbles asks if they are supposed to arrive at the same time or if it was an actual race. Upon hearing that it is a race, she runs from the Great Wall of China back to Mt. Everest in four seconds.
Boomstick: Here we go...
Wiz finds a snapback hat, puts it on, and turns it backward with a smile.
Calculation from comicvine.gamespot.com/forums/-discussion-1/the-powerpuff-girls-respect-thread-742518/
Wiz: The earth's planetary circumference is roughly 24854.848 or to round, around 25,000 miles. E-Mail had to be going Mach 17000. Bubbles was just lounging around for four seconds and when she made that final lap, she had to be going 6214 mph per second and if we multiply we can guess she was going Mach 4,722,640!
Boomstick puts an ice pack on his head while Wiz takes off the snapback and sets it down.
Boomstick: That's strength, durability, and speed, so now let's move on to abilities!
Wiz: The most famous ability of Buttercup and the girls is their heat vision which can vaporize a meteor. She also have electricity attacks, fireballs, energy shockwaves, supersonic screams, superblasts, can generate energy around their hands, etc.
Boomstick: But the most reason ability is the aura which is the biggest Green Lantern ripoff I have ever seen.
Buttercup: Stupid pig! You ruined my favorite TV show!
A green aura surrounds her.
Bubbles: What's happening to Buttercup?
Blossom: I'm not sure!
The aura around Buttercup turns into a mace.
Wiz: This energy can be harnesses and like Green Lantern, be used to turn into anything they want. Weapons, tanks, whatever.
Boomstick: Buttercup is often seen to be the strongest of the three and considering how strong they are, that's a huge accomplishment. She's saved the world numerous times with her sisters and is one tough nut to crack. Heh. Hehehe. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH!
Wiz: Heck, she's even been compared to be as strong as Superman. Although, she does lose her temper very easily and almost never listens to instructions from her leader.
Buttercup: No one tells me when to come!
Boomstick: HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!
Wiz: But even with her faults, Buttercup is the one girl who you definitely don't want to underestimate.
Buttercup: Look at these muscles! This is what fighting is all about!
Buttercup kisses her muscles.
[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
[]
Pre-Battle[]
City of Townsville
Narrator: The city of Townsville! A perfect utopia *muttering* beside all the monsters, of course *normal voice* and home to three perfect little girls.
The camera cuts to three big-eyed little girls sleeping in bed.
Narrator: Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Aww, what sweet little angels, don't you agree?
Buttercup slowly opes her eyes and wakes up. She looks around only to see the other girls sleeping.
Buttercup *whispering*: I can: (A. Beat them both with pillows, (B. Hide their stuff, or...
Suddenly, the Powerpuff Hotline rings. Blossom and Bubbles wake up groggily. Blossom gets out of bed and answers the hotline.
Blossom: Yes, Mayor?
Mayor: Blossom, it's a catastrophe! I was just eating my pickles and Mojo Jojo is attacking the city with a giant robot!
Blossom: You mean what happens everyday?
Mayor: ...Maybe.
Blossom: All right.
She turns to her two sisters. Bubbles is curled up with Mr. Octi while Buttercup slowly raises her pillow.
Blossom: Girls, monster attack!
Bubbles: Ugh...five more minutes.
Buttercup: Yes! I need to punch!
Random block on Townsville
The girls landed standing in a pose.
Blossom: I don't really see it. Girls, split up and try to find it.
The three split up and different directions.
Meanwhile
A scrawny man stood in the midst of a pile of rubble with a beaten down robot and a unconscious Mojo Jojo. This was Doctor Bruce Banner who had just come in Townsville to see his old friend, Professor Utonium. Buttercup flies over and comes across him.
Buttercup: Yo, are you okay?
Bruce: No, stay away, please! You could get hurt!
The girl slowly started walking toward the man despite his constant pleas.
Buttercup: Don't worry. We're going to get you to a hospital and you'll be fine.
Bruce: NO! GO! STA-STAY BACK!
The man started growing larger and larger as his skin grew green. His muscles started to bulge out of his clothes until all that's left was a pair of purple shorts. The Hulk was not happy.
Hulk: HULK TELL LITTLE GIRL TO GO AWAY! NOW HULK SMASH!
The Hulk had jumped towards Buttercup with his fist raised to smash her, but to his surprise, she caught it in her two little...hands, I guess.
Buttercup: Ok, if that's how you wanna play it.
She throws Hulk off of her and they both rush at each other fists thrown back for a punch.
Fight![]
The resulting effect of the two punches created a shockwave that caused the already destroyed rubble to turn into dust.
Buttercup: You're tough.
She headsets Hulk in the midsection.
Buttercup: I like tough. It makes it more fun.
Hulk: LITTLE GIRL TALK TOO MUCH!
The Hulk clapped his hands together making a deadly shockwave that was felt several miles away.
Buttercup (struggling): I can do sho-shockwaves too!
She opened her mouth wide and let out a scream similar to a certain super-heroine to contend with the Hulk's massive hands. The two commotions collided and was similar to a DBZ beam battle until Buttercup eventually prevails. The attacks sends the Green Goliath into a fallen skyscraper.
Buttercup: That's that, I guess.
She starts to walk away only to hear grunting. She turns around and sees Hulk lifting the skyscraper with a single hand.
Buttercup: That's awesome!
Hulk: HULK HATE LITTLE GIRL WHO TALKS TOO MUCH!
He threw the building at Buttercup who broke it in half with a punch.
Buttercup: Man, you threw that hard. I can still feel it.
Buttercup's face abruptly turned from a smile to a grimace.
Buttercup: I don't like to be hurt.
A green energy forms around the child the form of a baseball bat. The Green Lantern like object smashes into Hulk sending him flying in the air.
Buttercup: Home run!
She lands back on the ground only for Hulk to come down on top of her, his giant feet smashing into her little body.
Buttercup: Hhrggnh! Get off, you're squishing me!
Hulk: HULK CRUSH LITTLE GIRL LIKE BUG!
He stomped on her once again and then proceeded to punch her with rapid fire blows.
Hulk: HULK SMASH!
Buttercup ended it by blasting heat vision into his cranium like Superman did Doomsday.
Hulk: STOP BLASTING HULK!
The pain left Hulk no choice but to back off.
Buttercup: Hey, do you always talks in the third person or...oh no.
In her struggle, Buttercup had fired two holes through Hulk's head just missing his brain. It left two smoking holes which you could see through.
Hulk: Little girl hurt Hulk...
The holes in Hulk's head started to fill back in.
Butercup: Aww, gross...cool!
Hulk: Now Hulk HURT YOU!
He slammed his foot on the ground making a 4.5 magnitude earthquake. Buttercup shook along with the ground. She gathered energy around her fists to make gauntlets like the killer of Tifa. She fired several rounds into the Hulk's body, which didn't do anything but make him angrier.
Buttercup: Come on, I saw this on RWBY once...
Hulk: LITTLE GIRL IS NO MATCH FOR HULK!
Hulk started advancing towards the science-born girl.
Buttercup: Try this on for size!
She flies around Hulk creating a vortex. She then proceeds to fire electricity blasts, energy beams, and heat vision all at the Green Goliath. He roars in agony, but Buttercup has no signs of relenting.
Buttercup: One last thing!
She generates an energy shockwave and fires it at the Hulk. It causes an explosion as the vortex disappears and fire debuts. Buttercup is seen blowing the fire out.
Buttercup: I can't wait to tell Blossom and Bubbles I fought a green Fuzzy Lumpkins.
Suddenly, the ground around her feet started moving. She saw the Hulk rising, all wounds healed. He was glowing a powerful green energy.
Hulk: Now, let's really throw down.
Buttercup: Fine by me!
The two ran at each other and started fighting, but Hulk was more...refined. Instead of just hitting random things, he was actually focusing on his opponent.
Buttercup: You can't beat me! I'm the toughest fighter!
Hulk: You must not have heard.
Buttercup: Heard what?
Hulk kicks Buttercup into a building. She drops to her knees injured. The Worldbreaker saunters toward her.
Hulk: That Hulk...
He picks he up by the arms.
Hulk: IS THE STRONGEST THERE IS!
He squeezes Buttercup together crushing her like a can.
K.O.[]
Blossom, Bubbles, and the whole city weeped over Buttercup.
Blossom: ...Mojo Jojo is gonna pay!
Later that night, Mojo Jojo was found in is cell dead. He had been beaten to death.
Avengers Headquarters
Captain America: Bruce...this is bad. You killed a little girl...not only that, she was a heroine. And now an innocent person died because of it.
Bruce: I know. I just...I can't control him.
Captain America: We'll...we'll get the team and talk about this tomorrow...they're gonna come after us. The girls.
Bruce: I know. I'll see them alone. It was my problem.
Captain America: ...Good night, Bruce.
The captain leaves the room. Bruce hides his head in his hands.
Results[]
Boomstick: Wow...I'm sad. Not only that ending, but I'm pretty sure your son killed my daughter. And on Thanksgiving, no less.
Wiz: At first glance, this match could go either way. While Hulk was much stronger and durable, Buttercup was much faster and versatile.
Boomstick: But what you have to realize is Hulk has dealt with worse than Buttercup. She might be compared to Superman, but that's only DC Animated Universe Supes who is a planet buster.
Wiz: While that's no small feat, Hulk has fought the likes of Sentry, Juggernaut, Thor, etc. all who are above the likes of DCAU Superman.
Boomstick: But why couldn't Buttercup just fly around Hulk and wear his healing factor down?
Wiz: Because Buttercup is simply not on the level to do that. Sure, she's strong enough to possibly kill regular Hulk, but once Worldbreaker was introduced, Buttercup was doomed.
Boomstick: I'm really too depressed to make a pun.
Wiz: Well, just try so everyone else is happy.
Boomstick: All right. Looks like Hulk smashed the competition. I kinda feel better.
Wiz: The winner is Hulk. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Next Time[]
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!
???: Dang skippy! Where are my manners? Introductions!
???: Do you wanna have a bad time?
???: Why as a matter of fact, I do! Thanks for asking!
Boomstick: Oh no...