Huggy Wuggy vs Willy the Weasel is a What-If? Death Battle by Vrokorta. It pits Huggy Wuggy from Poppy Playtime against Willy Weasel from Willy's Wonderland.
Note: This fight MAY get a rematch, as Poppy Playtime is set to get more chapters, & Willy's Wonderland is set to get 4 comics. Also I didn't include Willy's first comic in this fight cause I didn't know it existed then.
Description[]
Marketed as fun & safe entertainment for children, these two are anything but. In a battle of murderous mascots, which antagonist will reign supreme?
Interlude[]
Sphere Robot: So, how are we gonna do this?
Vrokorta: I tell you how, we skip it!
Sphere Robot: What? Why?
Vrokorta: We already described these guys in the Description, why bother saying the same thing in the Interlude? Besides, "killer mascots that're marketed to kids" is an extremely common trope these days. No need to explain the obvious.
Sphere Robot: Okay, but I fear this behavior may reflect badly on your viewers.
Vrokorta: Eh, if they cared then they'd say something.
Sphere Robot: Riiiight. So today, we have Huggy Wuggy, the terrifying mascot of Playtime Co.
Vrokorta: And we're pitting him against Willy Weasel, lead singer of the Willy's Wonderland performers. Together, the two of us will analyze their feats, arsenal & skill to see who would win, a Death Battle.
Huggy Wuggy[]
Sphere Robot: Playtime Co. is-
Vrokorta: Exactly what you think it is. A successful toy company with a dark history. From what we can tell, they turned people into toys, like Bendy & the friggin Ink Machine, but with toys instead of ink/cartoons.
Sphere Robot: Yeah and Huggy Wuggy is the mascot. Everybody loves him, which is quite a surprise considering how ugly he is.
Vrokorta: Yeah but check it out, they designed him like one of those floppy monkeys with velcro hands. I used to collect those as a kid.
Sphere Robot: Cute, unlike Huggy Wuggy. If his normal look wasn't ugly enough, just look at him when he's hunting the player. He bares his gnarled teeth & widens his Mr. Popo lips beyond the width of his own head, creating a surprisingly disturbing look.
Vrokorta: Yeah, Huggy Wuggy's my new scariest indie horror villain. Bendy & Freddy have nothing on this guy.
Sphere Robot: He's not just scary, he's huge!
Vrokorta: People have claimed he's anywhere from 10-13ft tall, but he's actually BIGGER than that. Assuming the player is human-sized, we can see that the hand on their GrabPack is 0.46m.
Vrokorta: From there, we can find the width of Huggy Wuggy's head, which comes out at 1.28m.
Vrokorta: Finally we find his full height, at a whopping 5.36 meters tall, over 17 feet!
Vrokorta: At this size, he'd weigh over 1.4 metric tonnes, & generate 39 Kilojoules just by standing.
Popup: Huggy Wuggy shows multiple signs of organic physiology, including blood & saliva. This implies he has a similar density to humans, as opposed to being plush, hence the absurd weight due to Square Cube Law.
Sphere Robot: If that wasn't enough, he can run at speeds up to 27m/s, easily catching his prey off-guard when he gets serious.
Vrokorta: And we haven't even discussed his main weapons, his teeth & arms. He's not just 5m tall, his arms are 3m long, allowing him to grab foes from an impressive distance, restraining them with his titular hug before biting into them with rows upon rows of low-poly razor-sharp teeth.
Huggy Wuggy: SHRIIIIEEEEK!
Sphere Robot: Heahg! Gets me every time. Last, but also least, is Huggy's ability to climb & fit through small places. He's great at reaching high places, & his slender body makes it easy for him to crawl through vents much smaller than himself.
Vrokorta: He's perfectly suited for killing our video-game protagonist, even though they have a weapon supposedly capable of ripping off human heads!
Sphere Robot: So how did he lose? Plot-induced stupidity? Plot armor? Supernatural luck?
Vrokorta: No, we dropped him off a ****ing bridge.
Sphere Robot: Oh, we used our brains to kill him. Nooooooice.
Vrokorta: That's assuming he's dead. You know how horror characters are.
Springtrap: I always come back.
Sphere Robot: Fair point, especially since Poppy Playtime is set to be updated with new chapters. Who knows, Huggy might've survived the fall.
Vrokorta: I'm excited to find out sooner or later, but until then, Huggy Wuggy will live on, through the internet, with the help of fanart... & animations... & FNF mods.
Sphere Robot: And our hearts... cause he gave us all heart attacks.
Willy Weasel[]
Sphere Robot: Some time ago, there was a successful family entertainment center known as Willy's Wonderland.
Vrokorta: It's like FNaF, but instead of possessed robots killing a night guard, the employees killed average partygoers in their "Super Happy Fun Room".
Sphere Robot: That doesn't sound sus at all. When authorities found out about the murders, they moved in to reprimand them, but it was too late.
Vrokorta: The employees used a SATANIC FREAKING RITUAL to transfer their spirits into the animatronic characters of Willy's Wonderland. I guess being a robot makes you exempt from the law.
Sphere Robot: I mean, the context makes it look more like the employees became too powerful, considering that the authorities had to make a deal with these guys to get them not to kill everyone all willy nilly (heh, willy).
Vrokorta: Yeah but not THAT powerful. Shoot them with a gun, blow up the building, but don't purposefully sacrifice more lives!
Sphere Robot: Anyways, we're not concerned with all that anyways. What's important is that the owner of the company, Jerry Robert Lewis, came to possess the body of Willy Weasel.
Vrokorta: In this body, he's got... uh... claws... and... inorganic physiology...
Sphere Robot: That... that's it? No regeneration? No teleportation? No obliterating human bodies?
Vrokorta: Not really. In terms of abilities & stuff, he's got nothing but claws. In terms of feats, he was able to slice a woman in half, a feat worth 3.7 Kilojoules, & his fellow animatronics can tear apart humans & slice tables in half.
Popup: For reference, the world record for striking strength is over 9 Kilojoules.
Sphere Robot: And he fought Nic Cage.
Vrokorta: Yeah, Nic Cage. That guy kicked a locked door off its hinges, & broke a robot's neck.
Sphere Robot: What about speed, & lifting strength?
Vrokorta: The only person with superhuman speed is Siren Sara, & she barely uses it. Other than that, there are no real speed feats in this movie. As for lifting strength, Nic Cage could lift bags of animatronic pieces, which can't weigh more than 248kg.
Sphere Robot: ... so what you're telling me, is that Willy Weasel is NOT superhuman?
Vrokorta: Not really, no.
Sphere Robot: ... they really COULD have just shot him in the head.
Vrokorta: Yes, BUT he does have one thing going for him. Piercing damage. Willy may not generate much energy with his strikes, but he does focus those attacks over a small surface area, allowing him to do more damage over a smaller surface, which can be lethal if used properly. Ever wonder why bullets & swords are so dangerous even to superhuman beings? It's because of their small surface area allowing them to not only pierce targets with high durability, but also to hit vitals & sever body parts. Piercing damage can quickly weaken or kill a foe if properly aimed & utilized. Willy may not be packing much heat, but he focuses what little he has for the most efficient kills.
Sphere Robot: Didn't help him against Nic Cage.
Vrokorta: Yeah but I mean, come on, it's Nic Cage.
Intermission[]
Sphere Robot: Alright, the combatants are-
Vrokorta: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLE!!!
Sphere Robot: We didn't even finish.
*Death Battle Doors Close*
Death Battle[]
A delivery truck is seen pulling up to Willy's Wonderland. The truck is branded with the logo for Playtime Co. Once parked, the driver steps out & opens the back, revealing a large box & a dolly. The driver wheels the box into the structure & sets it in the middle of the room before heading back towards the door. Before leaving, he turns back. Behind the large box is a stage containing 8 animatronics, each one looking worse for wear. "Who the heck thought this crossover was a good idea?" he said before closing the doors behind him.
All was still & quiet for a long moment. No person or thing made a sound for about 30 seconds. Then suddenly, one of the animatronics seemed to move, very subtly. Willy Weasel raised his head & directed his eyes to look up at the box that stood before him. The front of the box had a plastic screen over it, allowing him to see what was inside. A tall blue figure with thick red lips, Huggy Wuggy. As Willy stared down the newcomer, Huggy seemed to direct his sight towards the weasel. Their eyes met, & both could see it. The eyes, of a KILLER.
Huggy Wuggy slowly raised his hand, pressed it against the plastic screen, & busted through the box, making a mad dash for the weasel.
FIGHT!
Moments before Huggy could make contact with Willy's body, the weasel reared back a claw & swung it at the organic toy, tearing three gashes in his face. The toy recoiled in pain before Willy pounced toward him & slashed his back. Huggy quickly turned toward the weasel, his arm smacking into the weasel with sufficient force to send him flying back into the stage. Before Willy could get up, Huggy was already on top of him. The toy gave a shriek before lunging at the weasel with his teeth bared. Willy raised his claw just in time catch Huggy's head. His claws stabbed the toy between the eyes, & blood leaked from the wounds, but Huggy refused to back off. The two pushed against each other for several seconds, until-
*SNAP*
One of Willy's joints broke, allowing Huggy to push forward & sink his teeth into Willy's head. The weasel showed no signs of pain, but retaliated all the same, repeatedly swinging his free claw at the toy monster's shoulder, sending spatters of blood across the stage. He eventually got Huggy to back off, but the toy managed to grab Willy & throw him at another wall. The weasel stood back up, & Huggy sprinted towards him. Willy reared back a claw, & slashed the toy again. Huggy didn't stop, but neither did Willy. Every attempt Huggy made to approach or grab the weasel was met with the animatronic's razor-sharp claws. The toy's hands & lower arms were full of lacerations, & Willy continued to attack.
Eventually, Huggy managed to catch one of Willy's claws with his hand, halting the attack. He managed to catch the other claw just in time, negating all harm from the attempted attack. Huggy smiled before letting off a shriek, followed by another bite to Willy's head. A spray of oil was sent in every direction before the monster toy threw his victim into another wall. Willy sat dazed for only a moment, before seeing a button on the wall to his left. He immediately hit the button, inducing a flash of party lights & confetti. Huggy was stunned for a few seconds, but it was all Willy needed. He ran up, unseen by the monster, & sliced his leg off at the knee. Willy threw another slash, severing Huggy's arm at the shoulder. The weasel took his opportunity to end the fight, he threw slash after slash at the monster's head & torso, sending blood & fur flying everywhere. Huggy gave several shrieks as he tried to throw Willy off, but the weasel would meet every assault with another slash as he mercilessly clawed at the toy. Eventually, Huggy stopped moving, & soon after, Willy ceased his attack. He looked down at his unmoving foe for a moment before deciding his job was done. He turned around & walked toward his stage.
"SHRIEK!"
Huggy lunged forward & chomped on Willy's head. The weasel flailed around, trying to throw the toy off, but Huggy held firm with his teeth & remaining arm. The toy continued to bite the weasel's head, splattering oil on the blood covered room as numerous electric sparks flew from Willy's damaged skeleton. The weasel's movements grew stiffer & more erratic, his head falling to pieces as Huggy continued to bite it apart. Eventually, Willy stopped. His body collapsed to the ground, his only movements consisting of helpless spasms. Huggy Wuggy made no moves to stop, he finished chewing up the head, & moved down to the body, arms, & legs. Once he was done, all that remained was fur, oil, & metal scraps.
K.O.!
Huggy Wuggy dragged his body onto the ruined stage, grabbed the mic off its stand, used the stand to prop himself up, & stood there like part of the show. His next victim, will never see him coming.
Results[]
Sphere Robot: Well, can't expect anything less brutal than that. They're horror villains after all.
Vrokorta: Yeah, & one was a lot stronger than the other. Willy could strike with energy equivalent to 3.7 Kilojoules of energy, but Huggy Wuggy's so large & heavy that the mere act of standing rendered 39 Kilojoules of energy, that was over 10x Willy's striking strength, just by standing!
Sphere Robot: Sure Willy had piercing damage, but that'd only get him so far when he was outmatched in every stat.
Vrokorta: Huggy crossed an 8 meter long bridge in less than a second, which would require speeds just under 27m/s. Willy had no speed feats, & almost no scaling to go with it.
Sphere Robot: Willy could lift just under 250kg AT MOST via scaling. Huggy weighed 1400kg, if we assume he can lift half his weight, that'd mean he can lift 700kg, almost 3x stronger than Willy. Not to mention Huggy's arms were 3 meters long, giving him MUCH greater range.
Vrokorta: There's also intelligence, which surprisingly goes to Huggy. Willy hasn't shown himself to be terribly smart, in fact, he & the other animatronics are more arrogant than anything else. They let their prey escape, mess with them, let them get "down & dirty" for a few minutes, & WATCH THEIR ALLIES GET REKT BY THE ENEMY!
Paul Blart: Y'know, backup is a PRETTY universal term.
Sphere Robot: Meanwhile, Huggy is shown to stalk foes, silently manuever through hard to reach areas, & even pretend not to be alive so he can catch people off guard.
Vrokorta: Heck, Willy would've actually killed Nic Cage in the movie, but he believed he was dead when he fell in the ball pit, so he just left. If Huggy pulled the same trick, he could just jump Willy when he's not looking.
Sphere Robot: And while Willy was inorganic, he still had vitals, & could be physically harmed & incapacitated. Nic Cage beat him to death with a broom & a bag of sodas. Heck, Tito the Turtle gave up a fight after being bludgeoned with a rifle. If he can feel pain so clearly, Willy should be no different.
Vrokorta: Not to mention Huggy had piercing damage too in the form of his teeth. Sure, Willy was made of metal, but Huggy was able to break down a metal door, so being hardier than a human wasn't gonna save him.
Sphere Robot: Plus, Huggy's main tactic is to hug foes. In this case, he'd likely pin Willy's arms, his only weapons, to his sides, leaving him defenseless against Huggy's teeth.
Vrokorta: Worst case scenario, Huggy chokes on some oil, but not before brutally murdering Willy.
Sphere Robot: Guess Willy didn't consider Huggy's form of Playtime to be Super Happy or Fun.
Vrokorta: The winner is Huggy Wuggy.
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Stat Comparison[]
Huggy Wuggy[]
+Stronger
+Faster
+Heavier
+More range
+Could break metal
+More experienced
+More mobile
=Piercing damage
Willy Weasel[]
=Piercing damage
-Weaker
-Slower
-Arrogant
-Less killing experience
-Shorter range
-Much lighter