| Hoxton VS Mr. Foster | |
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| Season 2, Episode 8 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | April 28th, 2015 |
| Written by | AgentHoxton |
| Directed by | AgentHoxton |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Kenpachi Zaraki VS Sol Badguy | M. Bison VS Peacock |
Hoxton VS Mr. Foster is a What-If? episode of Death Battle, and the eighteenth episode of AgentHoxton's Death Battles.. It features Hoxton of the Payday series and Mr. Foster of Killing Floor.
Description[]
Payday VS Killing Floor! It's a battle of the Brits as the fugitive takes on the man in the mask! Will Mr. Foster's stockpile of "dosh" finally be cashed in?
Interlude[]
Boomstick: America has some great fictional characters, Wiz. So many great video game characters are American. Guile, Solid Snake...
Wiz: Well, yes. But there is another country that has a lot of great fictional characters as well - Britain. Outside of their plethora of James Bond villains, they also have these two masked men that love to shoot up whatever is in their way.
Boomstick: ...Like who?
Wiz: There's Hoxton, the Payday Gang's escaped fugitive.
Boomstick: And?
Wiz: And Mr. Foster, the mutant-killing survivor.
Boomstick: Y'know what, I can get on board with this. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Hoxton[]
Wiz: When it comes to criminals, there are the skilled...
Hoxton unveils his mask and puts it on.
Wiz: ...There are the ruthless...
Hoxton fires two assault rifles at once.
Wiz: ...And then there's the Payday Gang's escaped British fugitive, James Hoxworth.
Boomstick: Please, he just prefers the name Hoxton.
Wiz: In his youth, Hoxton fought with almost everyone he knew. His brothers, his school bullies, his opponents in unlicensed boxing matches, almost no-one was safe from his violent tendencies.
Boomstick: With these violent urges he moved on to a life of crime. His first felony was robbing a liquor store at the age of 19, and he has never looked back since. Then one day he was caught with his gang in Hoxton, London, giving him his iconic alias. And before you say that the Payday Gang was unprofessional there... those were just Hoxton's unnamed goons. We won't speak of them.
Wiz: Eventually he moved on to the iconic Payday Gang, taking part in their various heists and marking himself as a prominent member of their crew.
Hoxton pulls out his mask in-game.
Hoxton: Let's break some necks.
Boomstick: But then something went horribly wrong. In 2011, Hoxton was left behind in a job gone sour, arrested by the FBI due to the evidence left behind in the jobs from First World Bank. As a result of his long list of crimes, he was sent to prison. But it wasn't all bad news, since he could beat up one of their traitors, Matt Roscoe. Heh-heh, nothing like sweet, sweet revenge.
Wiz: But despite being left in there for some considerable time, thanks to connections from The Dentist, Bain and the Payday Gang were able to break Hoxton out from prison.
Boomstick: And broke him out the only way they knew how....
Hoxton: I said it's fucking PAYDAY, motherfu--!
The courthouse wall gets blown up.
Boomstick: Nice.
Wiz: Anyway... finally free from prison life, he enforced himself as the fugitive of the Payday Gang, reprising his role in the team he had before Dallas' younger brother, Houston, took his mantle in his absence.
Boomstick: He... didn't take it too well. And Houston wasn't too happy either.
Wiz: He holds a large plethora of weapons from his heisting days, and is adept with many different kinds of tools.
Boomstick: His tools of killing include various Akimbo pistols, an M308 semi-automatic rifle, a Locomotive 12-gauge shotgun, a .44 Bronco revolver, and multiple hand grenades. And for some reason, he also has a toothbrush... which HE TURNED INTO A KNIFE! That'd be a hard one to explain to the dentist!
Wiz: He also holds multiple First Aid Kits. These can be quickly deployed on the fly, and regenerates his health. Each kit can only be used once, and does not wipe the amount of times he can go down before being incapacitated and brought into custody, as opposed to Doctor Bags. However, these were more suited to be used on the move as opposed to being in one spot.
Boomstick: And since Hoxton's a Fugitive - which is all about dodging and running - being on the move is very important. Hence why he wears a suit on heists - offering minimal cover, so he'll take a lot of damage easily - but the difference being it makes him fast and allows him to dodge more than armour! Try and catch him, but you won't succeed!
Wiz: But most of his abilities stem from his associated Fugitive Skill tree, which holds a lot of essentials for his dodge skills. Run and Gun increases his speed, Duck and Cover allows him to gain better dodge while crouching, Quick Fix and Uppers allows up to 14 fast-deploying First Aid Kits--
Boomstick: Jesus, this guy is prepared.
Wiz: --Counter-Strike knocks back opponents with a charged melee strike, Akimbo allows for his dual-wielding and Low Blow and Sneaky Bastard allow for dodge and critical chance based on his current concealment.
Boomstick: Even if all else fails, he can go Dante on people's asses with Swan Song, and shoot endlessly for 9 seconds. Which is a short time for him, but a long time for whoever's in his way!
Wiz: All of this makes for one remarkably slippery criminal. He's taken part in numerous heists such as their First World Bank job and the stealing of The Diamond.
Boomstick: He even mentored Clover, who would soon join the team, and beat up that Roscoe guy so much that he gained all his known secrets! Something only I could ever achieve.
Wiz: Doubt it. Anyway, even with all of his ability, he is not perfect. He does have to rely on his team-mates when the situation calls for it, even if he still holds the grudge of being left behind those years ago. He was also the victim of an FBI snitching which led to his subsequent arrest.
Boomstick: But since the Payday Gang - and all of Hoxton's supporters - didn't like that idea so much, they broke him out. He even recommended breaking into an FBI auxiliary office to get info on who his snitch was, and with the gang's help, sneaked into that guy's safe house - which was enforced with FBI and Murkywater protection - and put an end to him. I love stories with happy endings, don't you?
Wiz: Hoxton is a criminal who will stop at nothing to get his result.
Hoxton: DID YOU MISS ME, YOU WANKERS? HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mr. Foster[]
Wiz: Mr. Foster was once an ordinary man living an ordinary life. By day, he was a day trader, and by night--
Boomstick: He became Gas-Mask Man and fought with the Justice League?
Wiz: --No... he was an evening attraction at a karaoke bar in London.
Boomstick: He was even writing up his own autobiography. Life was swell for this man, but one fateful event turned his life upside down...
Sounds of shattered glass are heard as mutants roar.
Wiz: Mutants were beginning to wreak havoc throughout London, and quickly Mr. Foster was forced to abandon his quiet and sophisticated lifestyle to combat the mutants with the remaining human resistance.
Boomstick: But did London become... a KILLING FLOOR?
Wiz: Oh, absolutely. These mutants tore through anyone and anything that got in their way and were pretty vicious. As such, Foster had to toughen up to cope with these new conditions set out by this sudden outbreak, hence why he wears his Combat Armour, capable of blocking most damage when fully topped up, and can be repaired on the fly provided the pick-ups to repair it are on hand.
Boomstick: But Foster's true strength lies in his tools for killin' the monsters of the streets, and boy does he have a lot of options to get killing with! His arsenal includes dual pistols, shotguns, a Magnum revolver, a crossbow, an AK-47, a tommy gun, pipe bombs, a grenade launcher, a fire axe, and even a friggin' FLAMETHROWER!
Wiz: Why would anyone need this many options at any one time, even in a zombie apocalypse?
Boomstick: Because what else could ya do to not shoot a monster dead other than to kill it with fire? Oh, and if he is in a tight spot and needs to heal, he can use his handy-dandy Medical Syringe to give himself a small boost. Reminds me of the days we had Compa in. Fun times...
Wiz: With his tools and his survivability, Foster has become a remarkable killer, slaughtering mutants by the dozens and even able to best the Patriarch, whom of which has ridiculous power.
Boomstick: Patriarch? You mean like that one thing Tumblr opposes?
Wiz: No.
Boomstick: Oh, okay then.
Wiz: Despite his hidden talent for cold-blooded killing, it's not all bright and cheery. After all, he can only carry so much on him at a time before he's forced to put the weapons down and replace them with lighter variants. It's just as well his armour doesn't weigh him down. Overall, Foster is definitely a force to be reckoned with.
Boomstick: And since those mutants are heading throughout Europe more recently, God knows the survivors need someone like him now more than ever.
Mr. Foster: Hahaha, call yourself a bloody zombie?
Trader (over radio): Something really big's coming! Stock up while you can!
Mr. Foster: Where's my bloody benefits check...?
(Source video: X - from 1:06 to 1:16)
DEATH BATTLE![]
AgentHoxton[]
???: 20 million dollars? Bollocks to that bullshit, Bain!
This was the voice of a disgruntled Englishman who was sat in a helicopter flying over a snowy mountain range. If anyone was able to listen into the helicopter, they'd be able to recognise the voice as none other than Hoxton. He was flying in to steal the wealth of a similar Englishman who was residing in a safe house in the area for a very recent heist. And Hoxton was having a hard time believing exactly how much the target was holding.
Hoxton: From the sounds of him, he doesn't even sound like a bloke who's got twenty dollars, let alone twenty million.
Bain: Trust me, Hox, the person delivered on her info that she gave up. Now we just need to locate his safe house, kill him and take it all. Should be easy money, and a dirty job - but you like getting dirty, right?
Hoxton stood up and readied his guns as he noticed the door in the helicopter was opening, indicated that they had found a safe spot to land. Hoxton walked out and started to walk around the snowy residence, trying to find a location that resembled a safe house. Eventually, he came across a building with a reinforced door, with the faint sound of a British voice on the other side.
Bain: Guess he knows we're not door-to-door salesmen. Blow this door open with the C4 I provided you.
Hoxton took the C4 out of his bag and placed it down on the door. Beeps started to ring from the explosive package before it exploded, blasting the reinforced door off of its hinges. Hoxton ran through the smoke, ready to confront the target. Sitting on a chair nearby a vault was a man with a gas mask. None other than Mr. Foster.
Mr. Foster: Pretty sure it wouldn't have killed ya to knock, mate.
Hoxton looks at Foster in disbelief.
Hoxton: Seriously, Bain, you're trying to tell me this Empty Child cosplayer is the one with 20 million dollars in his vault?
Mr. Foster gets up off of his chair and walks over to the vault door.
Mr. Foster: Sure do - take a look yourself.
He opens the vault door, and Hoxton notices that Bain wasn't kidding - money stacks by the hundreds. By the thousands, even. And it was all for the taking. Hoxton looked from the stash to Foster.
Hoxton: Say, wanker, how about you and me fight? The only limit's death.
Hoxton cracks his knuckles.
Mr. Foster: Bloody hell... fine. Let's put ya down and get it over with, mate.
Hoxton and Foster both prepare to draw two pistols each - Hoxton with his Chimanos, and Foster with his 9mm pistols.
FIGHT!
Hoxton and Foster both draw their dual pistols and fire their rounds at each other, clashing bullets constantly. The two of them run out of ammo as they realize when they pull the triggers and hear clicks instead of gunfire. Hoxton quickly dumps the pistols as Foster attempts to reload.
Mr. Foster: Bugger this!
Before Foster can fully reload both pistols, however, Hoxton ran up to him and punched him in the face, before digging two more punches into his ribs. However, Foster uses the pistol he was able to reload in time to shoot Hoxton, catching him a break and allowing him to get a smack of his own in there. Hoxton staggers back before regaining his composure.
Hoxton: It's on now, wanker!
Hoxton pulls out his Bronco as Foster pulls out his Magnum. Foster shoots first, but Hoxton ducks, dodging the bullet. He retaliates with a shot of his own, which hits Foster's shoulder - Foster's armour takes most of the brunt from the shot. Hoxton follows up with two more shots from the Bronco, but Foster ducks out of the way. Hoxton runs in pursuit of the masked man and punches him in the face again. This time however, Foster grabs Hoxton's arm and kicks him away.
Mr. Foster: You're just a walking bag of dosh to me, wanker!
Hoxton gets back onto his feet as Mr. Foster unveils a crossbow.
Mr. Foster: Eat some of this!
Foster fires the crossbow at Foster, who gets struck in the arm. He drops his Bronco and staggers towards a pillar, before ducking behind it when Foster fires another bolt his way.
Hoxton (under his breath): Shite!
Mr. Foster (mockingly): Take your time... no rush!
Hoxton pulls the bolt out of his arm and throws it to one side as he deploys a First Aid Kit. He quickly patches himself up before getting to his feet and getting back into the fight. He now draws out a Locomotive 12G shotgun and fires it at Foster, who staggers back. Foster fires another crossbow bolt in retaliation which Hoxton avoids by diving away. Foster discards the crossbow and picks up a pipe bomb, tossing it at Hoxton.
Mr. Foster: Have at ya, you prick!
Hoxton avoids the pipe bomb, blowing up the back wall in the process, before throwing a grenade at Foster.
Hoxton: Time to shake the ground!
The grenade bounces against Foster. Foster quickly realizes the scenario he's in and kicks the grenade away before it explodes, shattering a few windows in the process. Hoxton pulls out two Deagle pistols and fires at Foster, who struggles to defend himself from the bullets and is forced to the floor. Foster gets himself up as Hoxton reloads and pulls out his Medical Syringe, injecting it into his arm.
Mr. Foster: This ought to hold me over.
Healed up, Foster rejoins the fight as Hoxton pulls out his M308 rifle, shooting at Foster immediately.
Mr. Foster: Bloody hell!
Hoxton continues to fire shots at Foster, who's armour allows him to take most of the damage. Foster pulls out his tommy gun and fires at Hoxton, who begins to run, dodging most of the bullets. In turn, he takes out two Bernetti 9 pistols and unloads on Foster, who runs towards the fugitive, his armour beginning to shred from the damage. Hoxton draws one away and pulls out what appears to be a toothbrush with his free hand. He fires at Foster once, knocking him back, before slashing him across the chest multiple times with the Nova Shank and ending with kicking the mutant killer away. Foster tumbles across the floor before getting back up.
Mr. Foster: You're not too bad yourself.
Hoxton: Just watch me, mate, I'll pulverize you enough to turn you into prison soup!
Foster dumps his weapons and then grabs an AA12 shotgun and another pipe bomb, throwing the pipe bomb at Hoxton. Once again, Hoxton avoids the bomb with his speed and dodge as it blows up outside. Mr. Foster shoots rounds at Hoxton, who is able to dodge most shots with minimal damage, but gets clipped by the last one with a direct hit. Foster, satisfied, picks up a fire axe and runs to the heister. Hoxton gets up in time to see the man coming and quickly gets ready to punch him. Foster dodges the punch before chopping into Hoxton's side with the axe. Hoxton groans in agony and shoots Foster with one of his pistols to draw him away as he goes to hide behind another pillar.
Hoxton: He got me good...
Hoxton drops another First Aid Kit on the ground and quickly uses it, now topped off. He walks back out to the fight, only to be met with a torrent of flames. Hoxton quickly ducks back into cover as the flames lick nearby.
Hoxton: Fuck me silly!
Nearby, Foster is slowly advancing with a flamethrower, constantly shooting blasts of flames near Hoxton.
Mr. Foster: I'll be sure to cook you good, pal!
Hoxton tried to think quickly as he was running out of time, before remembering he still had grenades on him. He pulled one out and pulled the pin, appearing from behind his cover to throw the grenade at Mr. Foster before running for cover. By the time Foster realizes there's a grenade coming, it was already about to hit the flames he was unleashing.
Mr. Foster: Oh, bugge-
The grenade and the flames cause a massive explosion in the building, launching Foster across the room and completely destroying his Combat Armour. Foster gets up slowly as Hoxton emerges from the smoke. Foster, in his daze, attempts to punch Hoxton. However, Hoxton catches his fist and uses his other hand to stab the Nova Shank into his chest. Hoxton lets go of Foster before punching the end of the toothbrush, stabbing it further into Foster. Foster staggers back from the force before slumping against a wall, losing blood...
From inside Foster's mask, Hoxton's mask appears through the eyeholes. His voice can be heard muffled through the mask.
Hoxton: Oh, and I almost feel sorry for ya...
Hoxton draws a pistol to the other's head.
Hoxton: Going about your day, and then BAM!
On the last word, Hoxton pulls the trigger, shooting Foster in the head. Mr. Foster's perspective goes black as it cuts back to the outside. Hoxton stands over the slumped corpse of what was Mr. Foster.
Hoxton: Sorry mate, but someone has to enjoy your money, am I right?
K.O!
Hoxton is seen dragging the corpse, and kicks Mr. Foster's body out through a window as he begins to lug some loot bags to a helicopter. While Hoxton loots Foster's vault of money, Mr. Foster's body begins to be eaten at by the mutants.
Results[]
Boomstick: He's going to need a much bigger helicopter.
Wiz: This was a fairly even match. Though Foster did have the more devastating arsenal of the two and had the better armour, Hoxton's speed, hand-to-hand combat skills and dodge were able to get the better of him.
Boomstick: Even while Foster had survived more gruelling monsters in the form of creatures like Sirens and the Patriarch, Hoxton knows how to not only to fight the law enforcers like Bulldozers, but to avoid their attacks easily, and dodged enough attacks to make Foster's weapons less effective against him.
Wiz: Even with all of this damage output, Hoxton's multiple First Aid Kits significantly trumped Foster's Medical Syringe and negated a lot more damage over a smaller period of time. But most importantly, Mr. Foster and the resistance always knew how to win through retreating, always using the breaks between waves of mutants to stock up on supplies, which can hardly be the case for a one-on-one confrontation of a Death Battle. Even if this was allowed in this scenario, it would be extremely unlikely that Hoxton would let him restock his weapons should every ammo supply available to him run out.
Boomstick: Looks like Foster was out-Hox'd! Heh heh...
Wiz: The winner is Hoxton.
