| Homelander VS Ray Manchester | |
|---|---|
| Season | 1 |
| Season Episode | 4 |
| Air date | March 10, 2024 |
| Written by | Duragoji123 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Blackbeard vs King K. Rool |
Next Dirk Strider vs Blaze the Cat |
Description[]
Dynamite Entertainment VS Nickelodeon! The superhero has been a staple of popculture for as long as one could imagine. In this relevance, however, you get those who go outside of the norm, who push the boundaries of what it means to be a 'superhero'. These two do just exactly that! ...albeit in, very differing ways. Though only one can live to fight crime another day.
Interlude[]
(Cue Wiz & Boomstick)
Wiz: Superman. Batman. Spider-Man. Captain America. What's the one thing all of them have in common?
Boomstick: Well, they're badass superheroes of course! Pinnacles of righteousness, paragons of hope, inspirations to all - good or evil.
Wiz: Though, sometimes, they aren't always conventional. The hero life can be a difficult one, and these two balance that out with being a father figure to a young boy.
Boomstick: But I know at least one of these guys don't really give a shit about their hero duties! That'd be Homelander, Vought's posterboy of the Seven from The Boys.
Wiz: And opposing him is Captain Man, otherwise known as Ray Manchester from Henry Danger.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!
Homelander Shows He's Better in DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue Pressure - Billy Joel)
Wiz: Ahhh, Vought International. One of the greatest companies, nay, THE greatest company in the world!
Boomstick: From their totally original, definitely not-knockoff heroes like the supersonic A-Train, the totally not Nazi Stormfront, or the stealthy and... just plain terrifying Black Noir, there's no shortage of awesome crime-fighters! With a massive media presence and a conglomerate which is basically capitalism personified, there's no way these guys could EVER be hiding anything sinister, right? ...Right?
Wiz: C-Correct..! The Seven, the team of superheroes Vought has under their wing, has saved the world on many occasions! Stopping no-good terrorists and wiping out the enemies of truth, justice, and freedom. The Seven is practically everything you could ever want out of a superhero team.
Boomstick: ...Ok Wiz, you can stop trying to play it up. We all know that Vought's actually an asshole corporation, using the Seven to scare people into following their-
Wiz: No no no, Boomstick, you've got it all wrong! See, they fight for the goodness of everyone else, and this is no better exemplified than in the Seven's leader: Homelander. Landing on Earth as an infant, he was raised and nurtured by-
Boomstick: Ok, Wiz, stop! No, Homelander was engineered in a lab and manipulated by the higher-ups of the corporation into doing their bidding. He's a supersoldier, infused with Compound V, and he's probably one of the biggest pieces of shit we've ever seen on the show.
(Cue The Untold)
Wiz: Psssshhhttt... Boomstick..! *Wiz states at Boomstick, giving him a look that read 'Be quiet.'*
Boomstick: Listen man, they didn't come after us the last time we talked about this guy. It's gonna be no different this time. Just... lay off the damn theatrics, please.
Wiz: Ohhhhhhhh... alright. Well, yes, Boomstick is right. While Vought wants you to think Homelander is an icon of hope and justice, he's actually quite the opposite. He's basically what you'd get if you combined the biggest man-child you could think of, gave him superpowers, and fed his ego till it popped.
Boomstick: And he's practically the worst pick you could think of for literally giving Superman-like powers! He's got your standard super strength, super speed, super toughness, and... heheh, my favorite... SUPER EJACU-
(Cue Homelander Theme [Fan Made Version])
Wiz: Annnnnnyyyyways! Speaking of Superman-like powers, he can also fly at speeds fast enough to catch up to commercial airliners or even fighter jets, or to outrace explosions.
Boomstick: Then there's also his X-ray vision, allowing him to see through all sorts of surfaces! He also has super-hearing, to the point that he can even hear your heartbeat which allows him to check in on your emotional state. Geez, and I thought normal therapists were scary!
Wiz: Though, perhaps the Homelander's most dangerous ability would be that of yet another power he stole from everyone's favorite boy scout, heat vision. It's strong enough to burn through Soldier Boy's, another extremely powerful supe's, skin, which can even withstand oxy-acetylene flames without damage.
Boomstick: And these oxymoron-
Wiz: Oxy-acetylene...
Boomstick: Yeah, them, can burn at 3,500 degrees Celsius! For reference, the surface of the sun is around 5,500 degrees Celsius. So if Homelander's heat vision can burn through someone who can withstand that without a scratch, his heat vision most likely around the same heat as the sun's surface! That's just damn crazy.
Wiz: He also has the capability to scream.
Boomstick: ...Uhhhhhhhhh...
Wiz: No like, scream, really loud. Loud enough to bust eardrums in a passenger plane. He uh... he killed them not long afterwards.
Boomstick: Yeah Wiz, that's good and all. But this guy really sounds like a bit of a pushover. I mean, sure, he can fly very fast and shoot lasers from his eyes, but what's stopping any average joe-schmoe from just walkin' up behind him and putting a bullet in his head?
(Cue I Can Do Anything)
Wiz: I'm glad you asked, Boomstick. The Homelander has taken gunfire in the past without a problem, broken the sound-barrier as a child, and was even stated to be completely invulnerable to any weapon humanity could come up with.
Boomstick: That'd include things like the Tsar Bomba, which can explode with a maximum yield of 50 megatons of TNT! It's the biggest nuke we've ever dropped, people!
Wiz: However, if you take this statement literally, this means that Homelander could withstand every weapon coming at him at once, which may imply him being able to withstand the entire world's nuclear arsenal at once. That. Is. Insane.
Boomstick: Especially since it was theorized back in the day that just doubling the yield of the Tsar Bomba would be enough to irreversibly destroy Earth's atmosphere and practically kill us all!
Wiz: In spite of all this, however, Homelander is not invincible. He is still at heart almost like a child, unable to really take control of his own life.
Boomstick: He's also piss-poor in actually, you know, fighting. Hey, growing up in a lab your entire life is bound to have some everlasting effects on your psyche.
Wiz: Still, Homelander will always be there to strike fear into the hearts of many. And if you threaten America's peace, or more accurately his own, he's going to kill you, no matter who you are.
Boomstick: He really is downright diabolical.
Homelander: "I don't make mistakes. I'm not 'just like the rest of you.' I'm stronger. I'm smarter. I'm better! I AM BETTER!"
Captain Man is the Danger in DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue Henry Danger Theme)
Wiz: The city of Swellview may be small, but to its inhabitants there is no shortage of coziness and happiness to be had within.
Boomstick: How, you may be wondering? This is the same place that has laws like "It's illegal to serve food without wearing a hairnet," or "It's illegal to take a picture of a rabbit without a permit," after all. Oh yeah, and uh, crime happens to be rampant here for some reason.
Wiz: It's because patrolling the streets and the city skylines, is a group of heroes known as the Danger Force. And leading them is Captain Man, a nearly indestructible force of good within the modern era.
Boomstick: The dude is also the peak of manliness, as you could probably tell by the name! He's a real guy for the ladies, and also one of the most handsome superheroes out there, he's like what would happen if Superman, Booster Gold, and Captain America all did a fusion dance! But, he wasn't always the hero everyone knows him as.
(Cue Danger Force Theme)
Wiz: Before the life of crime-fighting, before the theatrics of being a hero, and before the constant tail-chasing, Captain Man was one Ray Manchester. Born to Dr. Carl Manchester, a genius scientist like myself, Ray was just an ordinary kid like everyone else. However, that all changed when one day he was skateboarding near his father's invention, the Trans-Molecular Densitizer.
Boomstick: This hunk of metal was capable of making anything practically indestructible, and wouldn't you know, Ray ran right into it while skating! Talk about happen-stance... Well, this led the young Manchester to gaining a practically indestructible body, and Carl took note of this quickly.
Wiz: Deciding to test Ray on his ability, Carl took him into superhero training, where he would learn to use his powers for the greater good to fight and stop criminals.
Boomstick: And by god does this guy have the powers to do so! From the obvious enhanced physical strength and speed, the dude is practically absolutely indestructible!
(Cue Superhero - Simon Curtis)
Wiz: He's unharmed by high-temperatures, radiations, acid, electricity, ear-piercing sounds, and many more! He's even walked straight through fires and lava.
Boomstick: Heh, in that case, he may even be able to handle Mama Boomstick's ghost pepper pie! Well, he kinda did the equivalent to that, when an ENTIRE FUCKING NUKE EXPLODED IN HIS STOMACH! He was absolutely fine afterwards, of course.
Wiz: As you can... probably tell by all this crazy stuff, Captain Man is not your everyday sitcom protagonist. And we haven't even scratched the surface of what he can actually do yet.
Boomstick: He's capable of breaking down walls and doors no problem, regularly keeps up with and outpaces his sidekick Kid Danger who can dodge missiles, and himself even dodged electricity and lasers! Talk about a repertoire. I'm kinda jealous, to be completely honest. Why would you even need to dodge this stuff when you can just, tank it all?
Wiz: It never hurts to be thorough, Boomstick. And what's wrong with a little showing off every now and again? I myself like to show off my intelligence and genius in my creations - speaking of which! So does Ray, apparently.
Boomstick: The dude's smart enough to have knowledge on the way music can MIND CONTROL someone, learn how to play the keytar in just a day, and even build futuristic technology. Said tech mostly consists of ray guns and stuff, which shoot pew-pew lasers and stuff like that.
Wiz: Among his tech is also the Memory Wiper, the Cerebral Transducer, Doom Detector Boots, and the most recognizable one, the Laser Remote.
Boomstick: The Memory Wiper does exactly what it says on the tin, capable of erasing anything from just their memories of Ray and/or Henry, to even forgetting their own identities! Who they are, where they live, what they were doing, all just... Poof! Gone!
Wiz: The Cerebral Transducer is capable of feeding knowledge on practically any subject from the web into Ray's brain, essentially making him a living computer with the device active. As for the Doom Detector Boots, they sense whenever an explosive is nearby. Not quite sure how that works but... hey, it does!
Boomstick: And that nifty Laser Remote... it can fire small beams capable of attracting you towards him like some sort of gravity well, or it can be set to "Kill" and just completely burn your eyes out! Damn.
Wiz: He's also got some wackier powers, like completely ignoring the laws of physics, scream so loud that it shattered windows all across Swellview, address the audience through the fourth-wall, or even uh... give other people his powers if they drink his sweat? Eghh...
Boomstick: Ohhhhh, so he's like All-Might, but if he had Batman levels of knowledge! Cool!
(Cue Vandalize)
Wiz: That comparison might actually not be too far off. He even has his own version of the Bat Cave, called the "Man Cave". Oh uh, Manchester can also cause it to self-destruct and produce an explosion felt for miles. Ten of them were built, but now he only has four.
Boomstick: He's probably also capable of tanking this explosion as well, and was even stated capable of enduring a supervolcano which was going to wipe out all of humanity. As in, he was going to be the only one left living after all of humanity died. Yeah uh, at this point, I'm not even surprised anymore.
Wiz: Though, Manchester is not immortal. Later in his life, he found out that he needed a successor to his title, because he was growing older. However, after a lot of searching, he found Henry Hart, a boy living his own life in a similar manner to how he was.
Boomstick: And after, he even founded the Danger Force, and is still leading 'em to this day! Y'know, for a guy whose whole schtick is being an egocentric, tail-chasing (possibly sociopathic) asshole, he really did learn to become a true hero.
Captain Man: "My dad was an irresponsible scientist. And by accident, he made me indestructible. So now I protect the good citizens of Swellview, who call me... you know the name."
Pre-DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and the data has been run through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTTTTTTTLLLLEEEE!!!!
(Please, do place your roots and bets in the poll.... right here!)
DEATH BATTLE![]
Lightning strikes, as the screen flashes a bright blue hue. The fourth-wall is looking over Swellview, rain pattering against the ground. Two figures stand over a crash site, a plane burning though swiftly being extinguished by the rain.
One of those figures, the Homelander, stands alongside the other person, who he absolutely hated underneath his public façade. He had been in the area, when the plane behind both of them had malfunctioned and was sent spiraling to the ground. The blond-haired faux superhero had swooped in to "save" it, however when the plane swerved right past him, this fraud came and took all his credit!
Homelander: Haha! Yes, yes, thank you, thank you all!
The Homelander sucked up praise from the crowd even though it was directed at the other person, as he looked over to the man beside him. This was Captain Man, a hero whom he had heard rumors about. Something about, being the most indestructible person on Earth? Yeah, like hell.
Ray Manchester, the true identity of the manly superhero, absorbed all the praise he got from the citizens which had gathered here.
Captain Man: You're welcome, Swellview! Now, remember to stay safe out there and don't let yourselves get hurt!
As Manchester waved, he turned to leave. However, he was stopped when he felt the hand of the caped "superhero" grip his shoulder. He squeezed, as he pulled Ray closer to him, before whispering something in his ear...
Homelander: How about you and I... get some fucking things straight, yeah, "Captain Man"?
Widening his eyebrows a bit, Ray turned to face John, before nodding.
Captain Man: Yeah, we can. Just watch your language.
Homelander gave a fake-sounding laugh, as he waved towards the crowd and lifted off, still holding onto Manchester. The crowd continued cheering for their saviors, as they disappeared onto the top of another building.
The two landed on the top of the structure, as Captain Man shook himself free from Homelander's grasp. With a slight sigh, the savior of Swellview turned to face the leader of the Seven, his arms on his hips.
Captain Man: Alllllright! What did you want to talk about?
Homelander: Hmph, heheheh, hahaha... Well you see, I respect your work.
Homelander chuckled, as he slowly began to walk toward Manchester. Though, his eyes looked like a rabid animal ready to pounce on its prey.
(Cue More Than A Man)
Homelander: But only because it helps me. ME! So, I'll say this once: Get the fuck out of my country.
Ray Manchester blinked a few times, before exhaling and laughing nervously, holding his arms up in an assuring manner.
Captain Man: Alright, alright... I get it, you're angry at me taking the spotlight from you. But how about this, next time a crime happens, you and I get half-and-half credi-
Captain Man was cut off, when suddenly Homelander launched his laser vision at him. It impacted his chest, as it made sizzling sounds.
Homelander: Did you not understand a SINGLE FUCKING WORD I said!? I'm the Homelander, and I can do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!
After a good while of attempting to melt him into a bloody mess, Homelander stopped. He chuckled, before rolling his neck. Though, he was cut off when a voice echoed out of the smoke.
Captain Man: And I am... Okay!
John growled, as he barreled forward towards Captain Man, who had just emerged from the smoke. He held back a fist, as he went to send it directly at Man's forehead.
Fight![]
(Cue More Than A Man [At 0:17])
Captain Man braced himself, as John's fist collided with his face. However, Homelander narrowed his eyes in surprise when Manchester reached his arms up and grabbed hold of Homelander's arm.
Captain Man: Have a nice flight!
Ray then spun the leader of the Seven around by the arm rapidly, before letting go and sending him flying across the building's roof. The maniacal superhero would, however, stop himself mid-flight, before launching back towards Captain Man.
Homelander: I'll make sure to pave these streets with your blood!
He rammed into the manly hero, which sent the founder of the Danger Force off the rooftop. The Homelander chortled madly, before flying towards the streets below where he had sent Ray. As he touched to the ground, he looked around for the flashy savior. His eyes glinted a silver color for just a split-second, as he began to scan the area with his X-ray vision.
Homelander: Ohhhhh little rat, come out come out, wherever you are.
John's vision clued him in on a nearby oil-tanker, which he saw Man standing behind. A dastardly smirk crossed his face, as his vision turned red with hot steam boiling up from his eyes. Then in a single moment, he launched forth his heat vision.
Homelander: AHA! Got you, you piece of shit!
The heat vision colliding with the oil-tanker, causing a massive explosion to whip across the city streets. The Homelander stared ahead, the smirk still over his face, as he analyzed the carnage. Took the moment in, watched his enemy burn and suffer. Oh, how it delighted him to put that asshat in his place-
Captain Man: No, I got you!
Manchester leapt out from the smoke, to the absolute shock of Homelander. In his hand, he held some type of ray gun, before he fired it at John's face. Homelander let out a yell of pain, as the laser from the gun blasted into his face, burning it slightly. However, the main purpose of this attack was to blind Vought's posterboy to the other lasers coming right towards his chest. They blasted against him, causing the evil "hero" to stumble back more.
Captain Man: Take a little bit of THIS, you fiend!
Ray tackled Homelander backwards, the two tearing through the pavement and embedding into the side of a building on the far side of the street. Ray began beating Homelander down, trying to subdue the maniacal supe. However, this all was for naught, when Homelander's arm reached out and grabbed Man's neck.
Homelander: I've had just about enough of your bullshit..
John then pulled himself upward, still holding Ray by the neck and suspending him in the air. With a roar of fury, the Seven's leader fired his heat vision into Captain Man's face, causing sparks and plasma to generate off of the impact point. Following this, he would toss Ray into the air a bit, before quickly grabbing hold of the manly superhero's ankle as it passed upwards, before slamming Man onto the ground. He did this multiple times, before lobbing him toward the sky.
The Homelander launched into the sky, bursting past the sound barrier and stopping behind Captain Man. He grabbed the Danger Force's leader by the face, before going to drive him back to the ground below.
However, Ray Manchester groaned and grabbed hold of Homelander's waist. He applied pressure, squeezing John tight and causing the psychopathic narcissist's bones and joints to begin popping, slowly cracking under the weight.
Captain Man: Yeah, and I've had just about enough of yours as well! Up up, and away!
Spinning around rapidly, Captain Man then threw Homelander towards the clouds, a sonic boom popping off across the skyline and parting many clouds as Homelander breezed past them.
Ray Manchester landed on the roof of a nearby skyscraper, cratering the material in slightly when he performed a superhero landing. He sighed, brushing the dust off of his suit as he rose back to his feet. He rolled his shoulders and popped his neck slightly, as he felt the sun which was now gleaming down through the formerly dark clouds.
Captain Man: Ahhhh, that feels nice...
After he finished stretching, he looked towards the sky. Studying it intently, he yawned as he commented on the battle which just happened.
Captain Man: Geez, I hope that maniac learned his lesson. Hopefully he doesn't come back...
Though, like clockwork, this would betray what actually happened. Homelander floated down from the sky, growling and shaking in absolute mad fury. Veins bulged from his head, as he then let out a scream, pointing to himself firmly over and over again.
Homelander: RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT!! I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING HOMELANDER, AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WA-
Captain Man cut him off with a sigh and a shrug, finishing Homelander's sentence for him.
Captain Man: Whatever you want, yeah. Yeah, we all get it by now. Dang man, just go on home already. I mean, it's in your name right? Home-lander?
Being mocked like this caused John to finally snap, as he let out a war cry and rushed down towards Captain Man at hypersonic speeds. He slammed his fist into the hero's face, shattering the top of the skyscraper and sending Man falling down towards the city below.
Ray caught himself, twirling around in mid-air as he connected back to the ground. He looked upwards, seeing Homelander rushing down towards him at Mach speeds. However, he also noticed that around him were a bunch of citizens. He... he had to get them out of the way.
Turning swiftly, he began waving his arms away from himself in an attempt to get them to all clear out.
Captain Man: Hey, hey hey hey! Get awa- !!!
Captain Man wasn't allowed to finish his command, before he was slammed into and dragged across the pavement. The streets got ruptured and fragmented from the force, before John picked Ray up by the back of the head once they stopped. He growled, before slamming him back on the ground. He began raining punch-after-punch down on Manchester's face, attempting to prove that he wasn't so indestructible.
(Cue Diabolical Invincible Me [At 1:34])
Homelander: YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU'RE "INDESTRUCTIBLE", YOU'RE COMPLETELY "INVINCIBLE"!?!? HAHAHA, DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH!
Homelander slammed his fists down one more time, causing a massive crater to form even deeper into the road. He cackled, as he pressed his hands to Captain Man's head and began to squeeze tightly.
Homelander: You may be the savior of this city, to these people... BUT I'M RENOWNED ACROSS ALL OF AMERICA! YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING PRETENDER TO MY FUCKING THRONE!!! RAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
As he kept beating down Captain Man, however, that began drawing in a crowd. They looked on with horror as they saw their beloved Captain Man being beaten to a pulp by the super-faker. Homelander lost himself in the bloodlust, laughing madly to himself without realizing the citizens which had gathered around them.
Homelander: AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU, I'M GONNA PAY THAT LITTLE SHIT DANGER OF YOURS A VISIT! ME AND HIM ARE GONNA HAVE A REALLLLL GOOD TALK!
...Then that's when he saw Captain Man smile.
With a look of shock, Homelander was pushed off of Manchester by the real hero's muscly arms. Ray rose back to his feet, now laughing himself.
Captain Man: Heh... heheheh, that all tickled. What's wrong, big man? Ego too large for your head?
With that remark, Captain Man then rammed Homelander into the side of the crater, holding up his trusty Laser Remote. He then turned towards the crowd watching the fight (both the citizens and us, the viewer), before making a quip.
Captain Man: All kids in the audience, cover your eyes; this is gonna hurt!
With that, he then blasted down a thin laser beam from the front of the remote, which impacted John's eyeball and caused it to be burned straight out of the socket. This left Homelander yelling pain, as Captain Man stood back up and looked down at Homelander.
Captain Man: Oh, and one more thing... Don't you ever bring the kid into this.
Ray Manchester readied another one of his ray guns, aiming it down at Homelander, though the faux superhero rose back to his feet and yelled out loud. This caused Man to stumble back some, with a few unlucky bystanders who were standing too close around the crater to have their eardrums shattered.
The aim of Ray's laser gun was knocked away from John, which gave the Homelander enough time to ram straight into Man and bust through the side of the crater. They launched into the underground of the city, landing in what appeared to be a cave system, with Homelander slowly rising to his feet and looking around.
There seemed to be a load of technology in this place, so Homelander grumbled as his one remaining eye glowed a bright red hue. It launched out a singular blast of heat vision, burning through the countless pieces of machinery which lined this artificial man-made cave: a Man Cave, if you will.
Homelander: Just FUCKING DIE ALREADY!
Captain Man: No, way!
Captain Man leapt out from behind a nearby metallic cylinder, punching Homelander square in the face. However, the Homelander tanked the attack, and knocked Ray away with a simple punch.
Manchester flew and impacted the wall, sliding to the ground. He coughed a bit, as he looked up at Homelander who was approaching him.
Homelander: You don't seem to understand... I've been trying to tell you this entire time, I'm the god damn Homelander.
He picked his foot up, placing it on Ray's chest, pressing inwards.
Homelander: I can do whatever the fuck I want. That includes breaking even the indestructible. You're not immortal...
John pushed inwards with his foot, before taking it off and picking up Ray by the neck. He pinned him to the wall, and began to apply pressure to his hold, snapping noises echoing across the Man Cave.
Homelander: You're just like everyone else. Weak, puny. An actual fucking waste of space. I'm not like you. I'm STRONGER!
The leader of the Seven then launched Man through countless other devices, causing his head to bounce off another wall on the other side of the cave. The Homelander floated up, beginning to levitate over to the so-called indestructible superhero.
Homelander: I'm smarter, I'm faster.... Simply put, I'm better. I AM BETTER!
He was fixing to ram straight at Manchester again, in attempt to blast straight through him and finish the hero of Swellview off for good. However, that's when Captain Man pressed a button a nearby control panel. As Homelander darted towards him, suddenly, a hatch opened up and the Man Buggy was launched out.
It intercepted the Homelander's flight path, smashing into him and ramming him into the nearby wall of the cave. Man looked up at the pinned John, before rising back to his feet and pressing another button on the control panel before pulling out a larger weapon which was attached to the wall.
Captain Man: Sure... you may be "better" than me in some ways, stronger, faster even... But I've got a lot of toys, Mr. Lander. And also something you'll never have.
Captain Man angled the weapon, the Memory Wiper, towards Homelander as its firing end began to glow a greenish hue.
Captain Man: A genuine motive other than my own selfish ego to be a hero. Now, taste the sweetness of karma, you fake hero!
Homelander let out an enraged scream, the high-pitched noise launching the Man Buggy off of him. However, to his further frustration, it didn't affect Captain Man at all. John fired a last blast of his heat vision from his only remaining eye, as it spiraled towards Ray.
However, Man's point of view went into slow-motion, as he moved his body out of the way right as the laser vision flew directly past him and burned through the wall. The Memory Wiper fired, impacted Homelander directly in the head, before the member of the Seven collapsed backwards onto the ground, seemingly subdued.
Ray Manchester let out a sigh, as he stumbled back and collapsed against the wall of the Man Cave. He looked to the sky, as he closed his eyes. The area began shaking, as the self-destruction Manchester had activated previously when pressing the button activated.
Captain Man: Another Man Cave, lost for the greater good... welp, that's just my luck-
And then, everything was overtaken in a massive explosion, the entire city of Swellview quaking from the force generated. The streets ruptured, as the fireball burst outwards and far into the sky.
After the large explosion settled, the citizens had gathered around the even larger crater that had formed. They looked in, desperate to see which hero survived, if either even did. Their worry was answered, when a fist exploded from the debris, and Captain Man pulled himself out.
He dusted himself off, before looking towards the crowd and giving them all a thumbs-up
Captain Man: I'm okay!
(Cue Diabolical Invincible Me [At 2:49])
Though, he was shocked when he wasn't met with praise, but with absolute fear. He heard audible gasps and shrieks coming from the crowd, initially thinking it was him they were seemingly disgusted over. However, when he realized their eyes were pointed not at him, but at something behind him, he slowly turned to see what it was.
It was John, the Homelander. He was still alive, albeit extremely fucked up beyond belief. His skin was melted, almost fusing into his flesh, meat, and bone. His suit was practically completely gone, only a few burnt scraps of fabric being burnt and welded to his disgusting flesh. His right arm was completely gone, being replaced with a bloody stump, and his legs were nearly completely incinerated, only bone remaining.
His face angled up towards both Ray and the citizens, growling as the side of his face of the missing eye was completely mangled beyond belief. His skull was exposed, and the top part of it was completely detached. His formerly blond hair was completely blackened and incinerated, with the few strands that did remain also being welded tight to the sizzling flesh thanks to the heat.
The innocent bystanders let out a fearful gasp as the horrifying sight became more visible, as Captain Man braced himself... though found himself more or less pitying the state Homelander was currently in.
Homelander: I'll... feuchki...n endh.... gtchyuu...
The Homelander kept shuffling towards Ray Manchester, almost moving like a zombie. However, his focus was too tunnel-visioned on killing Ray, that he failed to notice what was happening above him.
Right above the hero and the "hero", the skyscraper which Homelander had previously launched Man through had given way. The spire which pierced the sky began to lean over, and had been shaken out of place with the explosion. It fell towards the ground below, and was going to slam right into the ground below.
Captain Man noticed this, and widened his eyes. He rushed in to help Homelander, even if he had been the instigator for everything and likely did not deserve saving. However, he was too late...
Captain Man: HEY, WATCH OUT!-
Homelander's face turned upwards, the spire filling up his vision, as the last thing he would ever see before death. The spire slammed down, stabbing straight through Homelander's throat and piercing his innards, before exploding out his back.
Ray reflexively flinched, as the corpse of the Homelander was splayed out before the entire town of Swellview to see. He looked back at the crowd, before shooing them all away so they wouldn't have to see anymore of the sight.
Captain Man: I'm uhh... gonna have to clean this up.
And with that, Manchester left the area to go find a way he could get John's corpse out of the middle of the city. The former leader of the Seven stood upright, with the entire skyscraper spire sticking out of him. The face he made was, absolutely haunting. Almost a curse that would forever haunt the world... but with the threat of Homelander gone, at least said world could rest easy for another day.
K.O.!!
Results[]
Boomstick: Woah, well, that's just a prime example of why you shouldn't damage public property in your fights! Zack Snyder, take a few notes.
Wiz: At first, this result may seem shocking to you. We're comparing a gritty, bloody, and almost horror-esque unstoppable supervillain to a goofy sitcom protagonist.
Boomstick: But, if Booster Gold has taught us anything, it's that you can't always rely on the genres of the stories being told to let your message speak for you.
Wiz: Cutting to the chase, while Homelander probably held an advantage in raw strength and actual ability to kill, Captain Man took... practically everything else.
Boomstick: I mean, it's kinda obvious. Homelander can survive nuclear bombs, while Captain Man can fuckin' EAT nuclear bombs! Speaking of which, Wiz, how about you tell them about the stuff regarding Homie's heat vision?
Wiz: You see, Homelander's heat vision was even more high in temperature than the oxy-acetylene flames which Soldier Boy shrugged off. This is very impressive, as this implies his heat vision is just as hot if not hotter than the surface of the sun. However, comparing that to Ray withstanding a nuclear bomb going off inside his stomach, you start to see a big difference.
Boomstick: The heat generated off of the blast of a nuclear fireball is about 100 MILLION degrees Celsius. For reference, that's nearly 20 thousand times hotter than Homelander's heat vision. No way was it even so much as singing a hair on Man's body.
Wiz: There's also the high-pitched screaming, which Ray also had a resistance to. Him frequently battling ShoutOut and enduring his screams proved that he could take Homelander's sonic screams in stride, regardless of how angry the all-American hero got.
Boomstick: Ok Wiz, all this is neat and all, but it wouldn't matter if Homelander couldn't be killed by Ray! I mean, sure, Captain Man can bust down doors, walls, and all of that stuff, but it couldn't actually damage someone who could withstand nukes!
Wiz: You're correct, Boomstick! But Ray didn't have to physically harm Homelander in order to beat him. He could simply wipe his memory, mind control him with music, or find out some way to take advantage of his powers being chemical-based. He is an absolute genius, after all.
Boomstick: Yeahhhh, and it all starts to become even more clear-cut when you realize just how much they were actually indestructible in comparison with one another.
Wiz: While Homelander could survive basically all man-made weapons, possibly even including the entire world's nuclear stockpile being launched at him at once, Captain Man could survive much, much more.
Boomstick: Yeah sure, you've got your classic stuff like bullets and missiles and such, but recall him being stated being able to survive that supervolcano which was going to wipe out all of humanity? Well, assuming this was similar to Yellowstone, the most prominent world-dooming supervolcano like... ever, this would come out to a blast worth 875 gigatons of TNT!
Wiz: This would put Homelander surviving all of humanity's nukes to shame, as shocking as it sounds. That would be just a little over a gigaton of TNT, which is almost nothing next to 875 gigatons.
Boomstick: Combine this with the fact Captain Man was going to be blitzing Homelander to hell and back, and everything lines up perfectly for Captain Man to take the win.
Wiz: Homelander may have had a large strength advantage and the tenacity to keep going even while on death's door, but Ray's genius wit, fast footwork, mind-boggling gadgets, and practically invulnerable body gave him the win.
Boomstick: You really can't spell Homelander without the L. He was simply a boy being compared to a Man.
Wiz: The winner is Ray Manchester, Captain Man.
Next Time![]
???: I know I made a promise, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk anymore.
???: Sonic... Do you think that maybe you were brought here for a reason?
Dirk Strider VS Blaze the Cat (Homestuck VS Sonic)
Trivia[]
- The connections between John and Ray are:
- Both were raised to be a superhero at a young age and told that they were better than everyone else.
- Both show a blatant disregard for those they deem below them, even other heroes, due to their tenure as the greatest in a certain area.
- Both of them are almost perpetually in super hero mode, having despised their secret identities.
- Both of them have an unhealthy obsession with praise, often making heroic decisions specifically because cameras were watching them.
- Both have a childlike side, preferring to have their love interests treat them like a mother would a child due to them lacking one as a child, save for one (Butcher’s wife and Henry’s mom).
- Both of them, despite their vanity, are highly patriotic and love America over any other country even if they view it as below them.
- Both decided that a blonde middle school age kid would become their worthy successor, with both at one point having the same powers as the heroes themselves.
- Both would eventually have a female electricity user with a short temper on the team that they lead, whom they become closer to than the other team members.
- Both of them love shooting lasers.
- Both have statements that nothing on Earth is capable of killing them.
- Both usually cause more destruction than they prevent.
- Both have spin-off media where they're animated.
- They contrast in the fact that:
- While Homelander is sadistic towards others enjoying their pain Captain Man actually cares for those he's close to and values life even if he sees himself above others.
- Homelander treats new recruits harshly while Captain Man treats them with neglect at most and at best actually teaches them and has fun with them.
- They contrast in the fact that:
- The battle would be animated in Hand-Drawn style, paying reference to both The Boys: Diabolical and The Adventures of Kid Danger.