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Hit-Girl(Kick-Ass) vs Red Hood(Batman) is a What If? Death Battle. It features Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass (movie) and (graphic novel) against red hood (Batman comics).


Description[]

Kick-Ass vs Batman. Two vigilantes that aren't scared to use lethal weapons. Who will win who will die?

Interlude[]

Wiz:In the face of crime the hero must always show that there above all gun usage.

Boomstick:Well that's not the case with these two sidekick vigilantes

Wiz:Hit-Girl the crime fighting companion of Kick-Ass

Boomstick:And the Red Hood, the Robin who died....And then came back to life!He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their Weapons, Armor and Skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Hit-Girl[]

Wiz: Mindy McCready was a normal girl with a normal life.

Boomstick: Except that she had a not-normal dad

Wiz:Mindy's father was bored with his every day life. So he ran away and took mindy with him, he wanted Mindy to have a different life than the other girls, so he trained her to become the vigilante known as Hit-Girl

Mr. McCready: You're gonna be fine baby-doll. Shoots Mindy

Boomstick: And after all that intense training, Hit-Girl and Big Daddy set off to hunt down the mafia, they percevered through many criminals and formed a friendship with the hero Kick-Ass.... Until they were betrayed by a suposed hero Red-Mist, then Big Daddy had his brains blown off and Kick-Ass had his balls electrocouted.

Wiz: Wow1 That sounds very painfull! Anyway, after that Hit-Girl rescued Kick-Ass and set off the get revenge. After succeeding, Hit-Girl temporarely gave up crime fighting and lived with her father's friend. Until she found out that the Motherfucker, yes that's the villain's name, was killing off all would-be heroes. So she had to give up her normal life and be on the run from the law. 

Boomstick: But that isn't as cool as her abilities, she's extremely skilled using all sorts of fire-arms,katanas and numerous throwing knifes , she is also remarkabe at hand-to-hand combat, is very agile, if that wasn't enough, she is an expert at knife fighting and can even kill a bunch of thugs with a freakin' rope dart, and we already mentioned how hard to wield that shit is! And in the great war between Heroes and villains, she killed the villain Mother Russia by injecting herself with adrenaline, which she uses in desperate moments. Hit-Girl the very deffinition of "size doesn't matter". Especially with that Sick-stick that makes people vomit.

Hit-Girl: Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.

Red Hood[]

Wiz: Batman, one of the greatest heroes that there is, he is the nightmare to some of the most iconic comic-book villains, and also has one of the most iconic sidekicks, Robin the boy wonder. After the first Robin, Dick Grayson, left to become the hero named Nightwing, Batman went on to be a solo superhero, until he found a little boy named Jason Todd stealing the wheels from his Batmobile.

Boomstick from then on, Batman adopted Jason and trained him just like he id to Dick Grayson, and mafe hime the new Robin. The only problem was that  Jason was the opposite of Dick, he was a total dick,.....Ha!Ha!Ha! oh, puns you gotta love em'. Anyway Jason was more violent and stubborn, he would badly injure thugs, and constantly channel his hatred towards crime fighting, and old Bats had trouble keeping him in line. Then one day Jason discovered that his long lost mother was still alive. So he went to look for her, found her, had a heart-warming reunion, then the Joker showed up, beat the living-shit out of Jason with crowbar and then blew his Boy Wonder ass up! Leaving Batman to grieve over the death of his sidekick.

Wiz: That would've been the end of Jason, had it not been that he was rusurrected by one of Batman's love interest Talia Al Ghul daughter of Ra's Al Ghul. Who dipped the corpse into the Lazarus pit, a pool of water that can rejuvinate the old, and bring the dead back to life. And the process worked, and Jason was taught in the ways of the assasin, and ventually found his way back to Gotham City, were he took up the mantle of the Red-Hood. He took over the criminal empire and started a war against the villain Black-Mask. Until he was confronted by Batman, and both battled on the rooftops. Until Jason disappeared once more.Only to resurface as not a villain but as a helper of the Bat-Family.

Boomstick: Being the second Robin, Red Hood is very agile and experienced in combat and gadget usage, also thanks to being trained by the league of assasins he is damn good at killing. He is experiensed in using guns, is a gifted sniper, and his knifes can even cut through Batman"s grapple hook, which is very hard to do, he can use explosives, bazookas, and tazers. But he's still hot-headed and stubborn, and his attitude can also lead to his defeat. Even so it's no doubt the Red Hood is a bad-ass vigilante

Red Hood: What's worse, that your greatest failure has returned from the grave, or that I've become a better Batman than you!

Death Battle[]

Hit-Girl is patrolling the streets, when suddenly, she spots six thugs attacking a lady. She jumps over to them and injures three of them, when suddenly, a mysterious figure appears and kills the remaining three. The figure reveals itself tp be the Red Hood.

Red Hood: You are not worthy of being a vigilante!

Hit-Girl: Says the douchebag who uses a biker outfit as his costume, who the fuck are you supposed to be any way, Deathstroke, Deadpool, Spiderman?

Red Hood:Shut-UP! I'm the Red-Hood!

Hit-Girl: Whoa cool, I'm actually talking to a comic book character!

Red Hood:Too bad that you're trespassing my territory, now leave or die!

Hit-Girl: Not a chance dickhead.

FIGHT!

Hit girl vs redhood

Red Hood pulls out two pistols and starts shooting at Hit-Girl, but Hit-Girl dodges and takes cover, then she also takes out two pistols and they both engage in a shoot-out. Red Hood gets shot, but is protected by his bullet-proof vest. So he detonates a bomb behind Hit-Girl.The bomb explodes and sends Hit-Girl flying over to where Red-Hood is.

Hit-Girl: Whoa cool trick, but check this out!

She also explodes a bomb next to Red Hood. Hit-Girl kicks Red Hood, and she starts punching and jabbing until Red Hood blocks her fists and kicks her away, then he throws a smoke pellet and hides. Hit-Girl puts on night-vision goggles and sees Red Hood at the rooftop, pointing a sniper riffle at her.

Red Hood: Hello!

Hit-Girl dodges the bullet then she shots at Red Hood to distract him while she also climbs to the rooftop. there they beging their Shootout again, until they run out of bullets, so the ingage in hand-to hand combats. Their attacks heep clashing until Red Hood manages to punch Hit Girl in the stomach.

Hit-Girl:Did you seriously just punch a twelve-year old?

She then kicks Red Hood in the face, but his helmet softens the blow. Then Red Hood takes out two knifes and starts slashing at Hit-Girl, Hit-Girl backflips away so she can be at a safer range.

Hit-Girl: So now we're knife-fighting. Fine by me.

She pulls out two Butterfly knifes.

Hit-Girl: They were a gift from Big Daddy

Red Hood:Who?

Just then Hit-Girl charges at Red Hood and they start slashing, with each strike in which the knife colide they form sparks. Red Hood takes a jab at Hit-Girls head, but she dodges and cuts part of Red-Hood's jacket. They bothe keep fighting, while Hit-Girl keeps taunting the Red Hood gets more and more enraged.

Hit-Girl:Come on! You really can't take on a little girl!? What a softy!

Red Hood:AAAAARRRGHH! SHUT UP!

Hit-Girl: Boy you really need anger management!

Then Red Hood manages to punch Hit-Girl in the face, leaving a cut mark on her cheek, but Hit-Girl counters by stabbing Red Hood in the knee!

Red Hood:YEEEAAARRRGG! WHY YOU LITTLE...!

Hit-Girl: Hey! Motherfucker! You really can't take a Hit......Girl? Ha!Ha! I crack myself up!

Red Hood gets really furious so he pulls out a bazooka and shoots it towards Hit-Girl. But she dodges it and throws her other knife at Red Hood which hits him in the shoulder. She then jumps towards him and pulls out her Sick-Stick.

Red Hood: What's that!?

Hit-Girl: It's called a sick-stick asshole, here let me show you

She activates the remote and Red Hood starts to puke, the vomit starts to gather in his helmet, forcing him to take it off, revealing his face. He angrily slaps the sick-stick away from Hit-Girl's hand and he keeps punching her, until she puuls out two katanas and begins shredding Red Hood jacket. He then pulls out a tazer and elctrocutes Hit-Girl through one of her katanas, forcing her to drop it.Red hood then picks up the katana and they both start sword fighting. The katanas clash again and again, until Red Hood disarms Hit-Girl and gives her a head-but which causes her to bleed from her nose. Red Hood begins overwhelming Hit-Girl, until he knocks her down, Hit-Girl is exausted and Red Hood is redy to finish it.

Red Hood:Looks like the tables have turned

Hit-Girl:Yes, they have

Hit-Girl takes out an adrenaline needle and injects herself, everything begins to charge up in Hit-Girl, she has an adrenaline rush.

(cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRu5wxl5frk) = ( Bad Reputation)

Hit-Girl quickly gets up and dodges Red Hood's attacks. She then pulls out her rope dart, which she uses to disarm Red Hood, forcing him to drop the katnas, Red Hood is cornered, the only thing he can do is try to fight, he tries to punch Hit-Girl, but she's too fast and after tons of tries she uses her rope dart to trip Red Hood.

Hit-Girl: Lights out you piece of shit!

She attempts to stab Red Hood in the neck with the rope dart, but Red Hood grabs the dart.

Red Hood: Not so fast!

He takes the dart and stabs Hit Girl in the forehead.

KO!

Results[]

Boomstick: Did Red Hood just kill a little girl?

Wiz: Yes he did. Although Red Hood has trained with Batman and has dominated the criminal underworld. He lacked discipline, and usually gets easily stressed out instead of thinking clearly. But keep in mind that Batman's teachings surpass that of Big Daddy's

Boomstick: And it doesn't help that Hit-Girl is less of a threat than many of the foes Red Hood has faced!   

Boomstick: Red Hood just KICKED-ASS!

Wiz: The winner is Red Hood

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