Herbert VS Dr. Strangeglove is a What-If? Death Battle pitting Herbert P. Bear from Club Penguin against Dr Strangeglove from Moshi Monsters.
| Herbert VS Dr Strangeglove | |
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| Season 1, Episode 3 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | 17/05/2020 |
| Written by | WBH-LM27 |
| Directed by | WBH-LM27 |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Emmet VS Jesse | ??? |
Description[]
Club Penguin VS Moshi Monsters! Seeking to dominate and destroy the thorns in their sides, these two icons of early browser entertainment duke it out to decide which villainous troublemaker is superior!
Interlude[]
(Cue: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)
Wiz: As one myself, I should know there isn't a shortage of evil scientists out there, in many shapes and sizes.
Boomstick: But sometimes the most diabolical of villains come from the most friendly of places.
Wiz: Like Herbert P. Bear, the arctic nemesis of the Elite Penguin Force and antagonist of Club Penguin.
Boomstick: And Dr Strangeglove, the moustachioed mastermind from Moshi Monsters... are we really doing this?
Wiz: We're really doing this.
Boomstick: Fine... he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.
Herbert[]
Wiz: The "Ursus maritimus", more commonly known as the Polar Bear, is a well-known inhabitant of the likes of the Arctic Circle. These hyper carnivorous beasts tend to live around icy climates, their natural habitat.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, there was one bear in the bunch who didn't quite fit the same mould as the others... for better or for worse.
Wiz: Herbert Percival Bear, Esquire was that one - he didn't just dislike the cold, he hated it. He'd always dreamed of going south, to someplace nice and warm.
Boomstick: So he hopped on an iceberg and rode the waves to his new home on the other side of the world!... only for it to be an icy island covered with snow and... penguins?
Wiz: This was Club Penguin Island, an oddly advanced civilisation of aquatic birds that was friendly and welcome to strangers of any type. But, seeing how Herbert wasn't exactly fond of these penguins or their freezing-cold home, it wasn't a mutual feeling. After failing to paddle away and nearly drowning in the ocean. he would be rescued by his new best friend and companion - Klutzy the Crab.
Boomstick: Aww, how sweet... wait, hold on, what was that about drowning? Can't polar bears swim??
Wiz: Most can, yes, but not Herbert.
Boomstick: Wow, he's a polar bear that hates the cold AND can't swim? What next, is he gonna be vegan?
Wiz: Vegetarian, actually.
Boomstick: Oh you have got to be kidding me.
Wiz: After settling down in a nearby cave in the wild, Herbert would slowly grow animosity towards his new penguin neighbours - mostly due to them being overly loud and obnoxious, and taking their monthly parties to the extreme. Giving up on his aims to leave the island - knowing the risks of potentially ending up somewhere colder - he instead turned to villainy in a means to finally get the peace, quiet and warmth he deserved.
Boomstick: And what better way to do that than with technology! Yeah, turns out ol' Herbert here is a genius, capable of building machines like giant magnets with nothing but scraps and stolen parts. He's like Iron Man, even down to the cave!
Wiz: In his early years, Herbert has built a giant drivable drill capable of causing miniature Earthquakes, a popcorn bomb capable of destroying a secret agent base, a gigantic magnifying glass intended to melt the entire island, and even a giant Hydra robot.
(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick)
Boomstick: Mmm... Popcorn Bomb... wait, secret agent base?
Wiz: Indeed - initially, the Penguin Secret Agency was a hidden task force dedicated to keeping the island safe. But as Herbert's schemes escalated and their base was destroyed, they turned into the super-secret Elite Penguin Force - complete with their own Spy Phone.
(Wiz holds up the EPF Spy Phone, much to Boomstick's surprise)
Wiz: Herbert even managed to steal one for himself, giving him access to all the features. This includes teleportation, an infrared scanner, and some basic tools like scissors and combs.
Boomstick: Wow, a phone and a personal grooming station!... wait, what's that button do?
Wiz: Wait, don't-
(Boomstick presses one of the buttons on the Spy Phone, summoning the Elite Puffle Flare)
Boomstick: Oh, look at this little guy!
Wiz: That would be Flare, a Puffle working for the EPF.
Boomstick: He's so cute and fluffy - can we keep him?
Wiz: No.
(Wiz proceeds to press the button again, sending Flare away)
Boomstick: Aw...
Wiz: Back to the topic at hand - Herbert is a masterful tactician and self-proclaimed genius, with the actual intellect to back it up.
Boomstick: Some of his more dastardly operations include: Stealing a giant bottle of Hot Sauce, causing a robot uprising, a triple threat of blasting, shrinking and decolorizing Club Penguin Island, and enslaving a bunch of the little Puffballs to mine gold for him.
Wiz: That last one being done using Brain-Boxes, an altered machine from rival scientist Gary that controls the Puffle's thoughts. While not exactly confirmed, it would make sense that this device could be used on other simple-minded creatures.
Boomstick: Don't even try it, Wiz.
Wiz: Still, we have yet to mention Herbert's greatest feat - becoming the Supreme Leader of Club Penguin Island, creating a machine that sucked all sunlight from the island and isolated it in his own personal paradise, blowing up the EPF's home base and kidnapping all of the head agents - including the elusive director.
Boomstick: And that explosion wasn't a popcorn one this time - it was a genuine building destroying bomb! Finally getting to actual munitions, I'm proud of that bear. Wonder what he'll do next...
Wiz: Build a Death Star.
Boomstick: That's... not canon, right?
Wiz: Nothing says it isn't.
Boomstick: F*cking Disney.
Wiz: Unfortunately for Herbert, his plans were thwarted by the EPF once more, and he was sent back into hiding.
Boomstick: And he never really got back to that same kind of power - he's kind of a klutz, pun fully intended, and his schemes always seem to fail due to some obvious flaw.
Wiz: But with evil in his heart and a longing for warmth, nothing will stop his arctic menace from getting what he wants.
Herbert: The time has come to put an end to Penguin Party nonsense once and for all, with my Cream Soda Sticky Bomb OF DOOM!
Dr Strangeglove[]
Wiz: Welcome to Monstro City, a fascinating island filled to the brim with creatures of many shapes and sizes, and the natural home of the Moshi Monsters and their best friends and pets - the Moshlings.
Boomstick: Oh, look, that one's a doughnut!
Wiz: The surprisingly peaceful island of monsters was one filled with friends and brightness, and with their companions by their sides, nothing could possibly go awry.
Boomstick: Well, except for when it did. 'Cause the Moshis could never properly go about without a little worry... especially when an evil organization was always there to potentially doughnut-nap your pals.
Wiz: That would be the Criminal League of Naughty Critters - CLONC for short. And the madman in charge of this heinous operation was none more than Doctor Strangeglove.
Boomstick: Wait, the Marvel Super Sorcerer?! What's ol' Cumberbatch doing here?
Wiz: Wrong doctor, Boomstick. Before he adopted the Strangeglove mantle, Lavender Troggs was a brilliant mind and fellow monster, graduating from Super Moshiversity with high grades, becoming a Doctor of Moshlingology and Sinister Minister.
Boomstick: Okay, now you're just spouting gibberish, are you sure you haven't drunk anything lately?
Wiz: N-no...?
Boomstick: Well, anyway, Troggs would go about doing his sciency stuff until a dog mangled his left hand - much like another Strange Doctor. Turns out the mangy mutt thought they were some sausages - and yeah, I can see it.
Wiz: But instead of causing him to look for a cure or, say, retire, he instead turned to villainy, joining CLONC and taking up his villainous moniker, named after the single purple glove he was forced to replace his hand with.
Boomstick: Diabolical... wait, why didn't he just get another purple glove?
Wiz: Probably because he'd like to remember his old one.
Boomstick: Wow, rough.
(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick, the latter of which is holding an Oddie)
Wiz: The first machine Strangeglove would invent in villainy was also his most heinous - the Glumping Device, which alters the molecular structure of the entrants and turns them into a Glump.
Boomstick: Glumps are basically the anti-Moshling. While the Moshlings are cute and friendly, the Glumps are gross and cruel. All of them just kinda look like rocks with googly eyes. They follow Strangeglove's every word, acting like those yellow Minions, only worse.
(Wiz then pulls out a laser gun of some kind, with the words "GLUMP" written on the side)
Wiz: I actually managed to replicate his findings and make this Glumping Gun, which should...
Boomstick: Nooo!-
(Wiz swiftly aims the gun at a surprised Oddie, which Boomstick blocks, transforming Boomstick into a Mustachio. Both he and Oddie fall to the ground.)
Wiz: Huh, didn't expect it to work quite like that... but at least I know it works!
(He fires the gun again, returning Boomstick to normal, albeit hazy)
Boomstick: Bughh... never... d-do that aga-ughnn...
Wiz: Strangeglove isn't a one-hit-wonder though, as he has plenty of machinery to assist him in his plots.
Boomstick: Like his Cadabra Cane! It-it's a cane... but it has unknown powers, OooOoo~
Wiz: While it is 'just a cane', it is a decent weapon in its own right, with its opposite end being far sharper and usable for ranged attacks, making it far handier than you think.
Boomstick: Speaking of handy, that purple glove of his has some tricks up its sleeve too, like creating a weird goop that acts as a portal, and is fully detachable and remotely controllable.
Wiz: There's also his main mode of transportation, the Scare Force One. This blimp gives him a decent enough view of his island, and it's also piloted by the Glumps - showing they're actually intelligent in some ways.
Boomstick: Y'know, now that I think about it Wiz, you and Strangelove have a lot in common. You're both evil scientists, you both only have one hand...
Wiz: And we're both aided by barely-functioning morons?
Boomstick: Yeah!-wait, what?
Wiz: Lastly on the list of creations is his Super Weapon, the Sun Smasher 9000. This machine was designed specifically to knock out The Moshi Sun.
Boomstick: Something about that sun looks funny... but I can't quite put my finger on it...
Wiz: However, the Super Weapon - as well as the rest of Strangeglove's plots - would be stopped by the might of the heroic Super Moshis. However, nothing they've done stopped Troggs for long.
Boomstick: Hide your pets, especially if they're doughnuts, because you never know when the Strangeglove is lurking...
Dr Strangeglove: Today, Monstro City. Tomorrow... the world? *laughs* THE WORLD!!!
Death Battle[]
The scene opens to a wide-shot of a top-secret C.L.O.N.C. base, located in a large cavernous ruin, before moving inside showing the Glumpatron 3000, along with several pipes connected to it. Herbert slowly walks into the room, calling out for his crustaceous companion.
Herbert: Klutzy? Klutzy??... K-Klutzy!?
Much to the bear's surprise, Klutzy is stuck in one of the tubes, next to an I.G.G.Y and Eugene.
Herbert: What are you doing in there?!
Before the crab could respond, the sounds of maniacal laughter could be heard from nearby - Dr Strangeglove, watching the amusing spectacle from a chair.
Herbert: You! Let the crab go this instant!
Dr Strangeglove: Oh ho ho, I'm afraid I can't quite do that, my furry friend. For you see...
Strangeglove pulls a lever and activates the machine, turning Klutzy - as well as a number of Moshlings - into different Glumps. Herbert looks on startled, before gritting his teeth and growling at his new enemy.
Herbert: You're gonna wish you never did that, tophat!
The Polar Bear charges forward, moving to attack the Glumpodynamicist with the large swiping strikes of his claws. However, Troggs would manage to easily evade the attacks, swiftly picking up his cane and beginning to hit the bear on the back with it, much to Herbert's pain and annoyance.
Herbert: Wh-why you little...!
Getting increasingly irritated, Herbert stomps on Strangeglove's feet, causing the doctor to yelp in pain - his eyes popping out of his hat in a comedic fashion. Open to an easy attack, Troggs would be sent flying off by a single punch from Herbert, knocking his purple glove off in the process.
Dr Strangeglove: Bah! How dare you, you mangy mutt!!
Herbert: How dare I!?
The two exchange death glares, and begin to enter close combat with one another. Both manage to land a good few blows on one another, but Troggs does so more often, wearing Herbert down a little more. Eventually, though, Herbert would pin Strangeglove to a wall with his paws.
Herbert: Tell me how to reverse that machine!
Dr Strangeglove: Oh, I would love to give a lending hand, but mine seems to be missing!
Strangeglove holds up the empty arm to show a shocked Herbert he'd lost his hand, before pointing behind the bear to draw his attention. The purple glove was acting on its own, and typing on a command panel.
Before the Ursus Maritimus could react, a sudden wave of Glumps would begin piling out of the door, overwhelming the EPF's nemesis and moving him away from their boss. Strangeglove, meanwhile, would reattach his glove and smirk, walking off in presumed victory.
Herbert: Grah!... you... fools...!
Trying to push the Glumps away from him, Herbert would seem to be in a losing battle - until the mischievous mammal got an idea, and swiftly pulled out his stolen Spy Phone. The scene cuts back to Strangeglove, on his merry way, before hearing a strange noise and turning around.
Dr Strangeglove: What in the...?!
Then, Herbert would teleport behind him using his Spy Phone, clocking Troggs on the back of the head when he least expected it. Now on the ground, Strangeglove would be left defenceless.
Herbert: Your time is up, monster!
The bear goes in for a strike, only to see an odd purple goo where his foe was. Meanwhile, Strangeglove had teleported just behind him, dealing the exact same blow.
Dr Strangeglove: Monster? I'm no mere monster, I'm the master of mayhem, Doctor Strangeglove! And I have no time to waste with a puffball like you...
The final straw taken, Herbert lunged forward in an unbridled rage, sending a furious flurry of furry fists towards Strangeglove. Unlike before, however, he was hitting a lot more, and dealing a lot of damage to the Doctor of Moshlingology.
Dr Strangeglove: Gah... blast you, you oversized snowling!... you almost got me!
Strangeglove's moustachioed grin would grow as he once again showed his missing glove. However, unlike before, Herbert wasn't as surprised - he was smirking.
Herbert: Are you sure on that one?
The villainous vegetarian would pull out a small remote and press a button. Suddenly, a net trap would spring up next to a control panel, catching Strangeglove's Strange Glove in the process, rendering it stuck.
Dr Strangeglove: B-but how? You had no time to-
Herbert: I didn't... but they did.
The arctic animal would step aside, revealing the army of Glumps - each wearing Brain-Boxes to accommodate them. They were fully under his control.
Dr Strangeglove: Wh-what!?
Suddenly, the mind-controlled Glumps would begin to surround Strangeglove and pick him up, slowly carrying him against his will.
Herbert: You know, "Strangeglove", there's only room for one evil genius around here. And that is me. Herbert. Percival. BEAR!!!... Esquire. And since I'm more than able to operate your machine, you won't be necessary to help revert my companion back. So... goodbye.
Dr Strangeglove: N-no, wait, stop! What are you doing!! I am your master you buffoons!!! I am your-
Before he could finish his sentence, the Sinister Minister would be carried and thrown off the ledge of the base - a very, very steep cliff, ensuring the doctor's demise. As the doctor's final screams could be heard echoing around the vicinity, it would begin to be silenced and drowned out by the maniacal laughter of Herbert, the camera closing in on his vicious shadow.
KO!
Herbert would be trying to figure out the Glumpatron 3000 to help revert Klutzy back to normal. Meanwhile, Strangeglove's glove would be frantically panicking in its net, before stopping dead.
Results[]
(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)
Boomstick: Wow... who knew a polar bear could be so cold-hearted.
Wiz: Now, credit where credit's due, Troggs certainly did have a few advantages in some categories. His slimmer build and speed meant he'd be generally harder to hit, and unlike Herbert, he did have some form of weaponry thanks to his cane.
Boomstick: Yeah, but Herbert's got him beat everywhere else. Like how strength-wise, Strangeglove hasn't really shown anything impressive, while Herbert is a polar bear! He already had the advantage just from his species.
Wiz: The same could be said for durability, as Herbert survived his Cream Soda Sticky Bomb exploding right in his face. But the most important factor in this fight was not brawn, but brain.
Boomstick: Despite being a bear, Herbert's actually pretty smart. Sure, Strangeman has a few doctorates or whatever, but only one of his machines have been on the same par as most of Herbert's.
Wiz: This also meant Herbert would be a smarter fighter as well, coming up with plans on the spot would be something of note. His own gadgetry helped a lot in countering all of Strangeglove's options too, like the Glumps.
Boomstick: Yeah, it's kinda hard to lead your own army of rock-people when they're being controlled by your enemy through a weird mind-control device. Oh, and Herbert's definitely not afraid to get lethal - again, Death Star.
(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick, the former with both Flare and Oddie on his shoulders)
Wiz: Strangeglove was an expert doctor in his own right, and he did have a lot up his sleeves, but Herbert had the wit, equipment and raw strength to put him down for good.
Boomstick: Gotta hand it to Herbert, he fur-tainly made this paw-some fist-fight more bear-able to watch.
Wiz: The winner is Herbert P. Bear.
Trivia[]
- This is W-LM27's third battle on the Wiki.
- The connections between Herbert and Strangeglove is that they both are the antagonists of two web-browser virtual worlds (Club Penguin and Moshi Monsters respectively) and are known for having a hatred for said world's native pet (Puffles and Moshlings). Both are also of high intellect, and have fought against their worlds' peacekeeping organizations (the EPF and the Super-Moshis).
- Coincidentally, both also have attempted to remove the sun from their respective homes for their own benefits.