Henry Cooldown vs. Raiden

Henry Cooldown vs. Raiden 1/3
Season 2, Episode 37
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Air date	Sept 26, 2015
Written by	Venage237
Directed by	Venage237
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Hades vs. Pitch Black	Arkham Origins' Assassins Battle Royale

Henry Cooldown vs. Raiden is a What-If Death Battle created by Venage237. This fan made Death Battle features Henry Cooldown from the No More Heroes series, and Raiden from the Metal Gear Solid series.

Description[]

No More Heroes vs. Metal Gear Solid. Today, two sword wielders, who are voiced by Quinton Flynn, are going to battle each other to see who is the superior sword wielder. But Which one will live, and which one will die? Mr. Sir Henry Motherf*cker, and Twin Brother of Travis Touchdown, or Jack the Ripper, and destroyer of Metal Gears?

Interlude[]

Boomstick: Wiz, what do this two combatants have in common outside of using the most badass swords in video game history?

Wiz: Well, there's that, and there's the fact that these next two combatants are voiced by Quinton Flynn. Like Henry, or as he's better known as Mr. Sir Henry Motherfucker.

Boomstick: And Raiden, AKA Jack the Ripper.

Wiz: I'm Wizard, and he's Boomstick.

Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and kills to find out who will win a Death Battle.

Henry Cooldown[]

Wiz: Travis Touchdown is one of the greatest assassins in the UAA. He's managed to kill off nearly every assassin that stood in his way of being the best, or getting his revenge.

Boomstick: Naturally, every great protagonist needs some form of rival to stand in his way. And who better to stand in Travis' way is Mr. Sir Henry Motherfucker?

Henry: Dance with me Travis.

Wiz: Henry Cooldown, yes that's his last name, is a 27 year old man, with a poorly done stereotypical Irish accent. Travis first encountered this assassin while traveling towards the 5th ranked assassin Letz Shake.

Boomstick: But just as Travis was about to confront the 5th ranked assassin, Henry literally DOVE DOWN TO LETZ SHAKE AND SLICED HIM IN HALF!!!

Wiz: Pissed off that this assassin stole his kill, Travis wanted to fight Henry right there and now.

Boomstick: That is, until Silvia stepped in and interrupted the fight, and Henry, SOMEHOW, disappeared. This pissed off Travis even further as he couldn't kill the one who killed his opponent.

Wiz: It wasn't until he became the 1st ranked assassin of the UAA where he finally gets his chance to fight Henry. But before that, an assassin by the name of Ermen Palmer tried to kill Travis while he was, uh.....

Boomstick: Taking a shit!

Wiz: Yeah, that. Anyway, just as Ermen was about to kill Travis, Henry just so happens to appear inside Travis' motel room and killed Ermen, via slicing him in half. After which, Henry told Travis to finish with his business, so the two could fight one on one. And it was during this fight where Travis discovers a terrifying revelation between him and Henry. Henry and Travis are twin brothers!

Dun Dun DUUUUUH!!!

Boomstick: Wait what!? Travis and Henry are twin brothers? But they look nothing alike!

Wiz: They could be fraternal twins.

Boomstick: Travis speaks with an American accent while Henry has a Irish accent.

Wiz: Both Travis and Henry were born in America, but Henry was raised in Ireland.

Boomstick: But weren't Travis' parents killed by Travis' half-sister?

Wiz: That was Travis' mother and stepfather who were killed. And besides, it's video game that knows that it's a parody of various tropes. Hell, even Henry knows that he's in a video game. Listen.

Henry: You're the protagonist. I'm just a cool, handsome, young foil, who happens to be your twin brother. I hate to say it, but it's your job.

Boomstick: Ohhhhh....

Wiz: Being a rival to Travis, naturally, Henry specializes with Beam Kitana Sword Combat. His main, and, might I add, only beam Kitana is the Cross Sword. A blade that emits a purple energy blade, as well as four other, smaller blades that emit from the guard. Henry is even capable of generating balls of electricity that home in onto his opponent.

Boomstick: When using this beam Kitana, Henry uses a combat style that focuses on speed and agility.

Wiz: Henry also uses a combat style in a similar fashion towards Travis' swordplay. The major difference though is that Henry has a more cleaner, more knight-style combat. Splash damage, jump slashes, swift strike, and even backflips are seen in his combat style.

Boomstick: And despite his slim posture, Henry is surprisingly strong.

Wiz: And that's also including his legs. After all, not only is Henry capable of achieving near superhuman speeds, but he's even capable of jumping at least 30, to, hell maybe even 50ft in the air.

Boomstick: And speaking of which, Henry as a move that's guaranteed to kill his opponent. By entering in a stance where his beam Kitana are pointing at diagonally into the sky. After charging up for a few seconds, Henry will charge towards the opponent, and, if the beam Kitana successfully rams into the victim's stomach, Henry then tosses him in the air, jumps up, slashes them, which somehow cause them to be sent even higher up, to which Henry lunges toward his opponent, tosses the bastard back down to the ground (*BREATHESSSS) AND Finishes them off my stabbing the asshole in the stomach, which causes the ground around them to break apart. HO-LY SHIT!!!

Wiz: Henry is one of Travis' deadliest foes. He singlehandedly killed Letz Shake with one attack, nearly killed Travis during their one on one fight, killed several other assassins off-screen, and even aided Travis against the fight with Jasper Batt Jr.

Boomstick: Until Jasper took on the form of a giant parade float, in which Henry just flat out left cause he didn't want to be a part of an anticlimactic end.

Wiz; But outside of his enable to assist Travis to kill Jasper, Henry has no real weaknesses. Though he was defeated off-screen by Dr. Letz Shake, and was frozen in carbonite.

Boomstick: I sure as hell hope Henry wasn't hired to kill me. Chances are I'd be dead before he would give me a chance to blink.

Henry: Shall we get this over with? And don't hate me if I play a tad dirty...

Raiden[]

Wiz: His name is Jack. Born as a Liberian-American, Jack orphaned at a young, after his parents were murdered. Jack was raised to be child soldier under the command of George Sears, AKA Solidus Snake.

Boomstick: To make matters worst, the man who murdered his parents was Solidus Snake. AND HE ALSO ADOPTED JACK! Man, talk about a shit childhood.

Wiz: Solidus decided to enlist Jack in the Liberian Civil War, where he became captain of his own commando unit in the Army of the Devil.

Boomstick: The Army of the Devil? *gasps* It's an actual army of...

Wiz: No, it's not an actual army of devils, you moron!

Boomstick: Aaah, goddammit!

Wiz: A natural harbinger of death, Jack's high kill count, eventually earned him multiple nicknames such as White Devil, and his most famous alias being Jack the Ripper. And he accomplished all of this when he was only ten years old.

Boomstick: Mother of God! Could you imagine what would happen is this kid reached puberty? If it ever even hits. I mean, even ten years later, he still looks like he's waiting for the old stones to drop.

Wiz: Some time after being abandoned by Solidus, Jack tried to live a normal life. To the point where he suppressed his memories about being a child soldier. He also eventually fell for a girl named Rose and eventually got her pregnant.

Boomstick: But despite his best suppressing his memories Jack' past life kept tormenting him. To make up for his past actions, Jack sought to right his wrongs by joining the special task force FOXHOUND. With them, he teamed up with the legendary soldier Solid Snake to take down some bad guys, destroy giant robots, go streaking and even kill dear old foster dad. All under his awesome new codename, Raiden.

Wiz: But, here is where's Raiden's problems began to appear. It turns out that Raiden was unknowingly a spy, controlled by the Patriots. And no, The Patriots aren't the football team. In the Metal Gear Universe, the Patriots is a secret organization manipulating the U.S. from behind the scenes and bent on dominating the world.

Boomstick: And here's it wear things get really confusing. You see it turns out that his girlfriend Rose was a spy for the Patriots, and that she was assigned to have Raiden fall for her. Which if that was the case, how come she ended getting pregnant and having Raiden's kid?

Wiz: Well first, she actually said she had a miscarriage and married Colonel Roy Campbell to trick Raiden, but it was really ploy to trick the Patriots...

Boomstick: Wiz, Wiz, Wiz! Please shut up. The story of this series is confusing enough, and we don't need you to ramble for the next 12 hours about the plot.

Wiz: Fair enough.

Boomstick: What Wiz was going to say is that Raiden and Rose managed to tie up loose ends and started a family with them, and their son. Now, can we please get back to the part where Raiden kills people?

Wiz: Very well then. One day, The Patriots, somehow managed to capture. It was there when Raiden was used as a test subject for exoskeletal enhancement surgery, transforming him into a superhuman cyborg ninja.

Boomstick: Now that's the shit I'm talking about!

Wiz: Originally, before his cybernetic enhancements, Raiden was an acrobatic specialist, had heighten agility and was an expert marksmen. But after having his body enhance, Raiden became a nigh unstoppable killing machine. He is fast enough to out run bullet trains and even run on walls.

Boomstick: Not to mention, he can to shit like this...

(Cuts to a scene when Raiden is being held by a group of Gekkos, and Vamp stabs his knife into Raiden's Chest.)

Vamp: You too, immortal?

Raiden: No. I just don't fear death.

Snake then sniped one of the cables holding one of Raiden's arms. Raiden then cuts his other arm free and begins swinging around the Gekkos by the cables connecting them to his legs.

Boomstick: That's one of the most awesome, and most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

Wiz: And would you believe that that's all was self-taught?

Boomstick: What? You're fucking me aren't you?

Wiz: It's true. According to Jetstream Sam, when he and Raiden were fighting, he deduced that every tactic Raiden used was self-taught. And speaking of which, the blade that Raiden carries is known as a High-Frequency Blade. This blade is reinforced by a powerful alternating current and resonates at extremely high frequencies. As such, the High-Frequency Blade can weaken the molecular bonds of anything it cuts, which in term, means that Raiden's blade its capable of cutting through virtually anything.

Boomstick: He can also use his blade to enter into a super-mode known as a Zandatsu. This causes Raiden's perception of time to slow anywhere from roughly 50 to 90%, which gives him plenty of time to chop through his foes as precisely or as rapidly as he'd like. And if his chop a random cyborg at the right spot, Raiden can pull out the bastard's spine, crush it, and refuel himself instantly. Boomstick: And on top of all that, Raiden is ridiculously Strong! I mean, Raiden is capable of tossing both a Metal Gear RAY, AND a Metal Gear EXCELSUS, WITH HIS BARE HANDS!

Wiz: Unfortunately though, there's no exact confirmation on how much Ray weighs. But by comparing RAY to a Metal Gear REX, which weighs roughly 557 tons, we can estimate it's weight to be well over 1000 tons. And that was with his older cyborg body. With his new cyborg body however, Raiden is stronger than before, since EXCELSUS appears to weigh even more than Metal Gear RAY.

Boomstick: But when things get crazy, Raiden will pretty much say "Screw Caution!" and deactivate his pain inhibitors. By doing so he will reenter his old Jack the Ripper personality, and this, somehow activate an alternate form known as the Ripper Mode.

Wiz: The Ripper Mode allows Raiden to easily slice through virtually anything without even entering in Blade Mode. Ironically though, by entering in Blade Mode, Raiden's Ripper Mode will instantly deactivate. The Ripper Mode isn't permanent though, as it requires Raiden's fuel supplies to keep him in said mode, which sadly burn out very quickly. Not to mention, Raiden become, uh... a bit insane when he's in this mode.

Boomstick: A BIT INSANE!? He becomes fucking nuts! Seriously, he's cackling like a madman after he got stabbed in the chest!

Wiz: And speaking of which, that does lead to several problems with Raiden For one Raiden doesn't contain real blood, since his blood was removed and replaced with artificial blood. As such, his blood must be changed in a similar fashion to oil in a car.

Boomstick: And because he doesn't fear death, Raiden does have a tendency to not give a shit about his own safety, and is willing to sacrifice himself to protect the weak and innocent. But when he enters his Ripper Mode, stay the fuck away from him!

Vamp: How about it, undying man. Care to die too?

Raiden: Sorry, but I can't die just yet.

Death Battle[]

(The Scene begins with Raiden about to confront Letz Shake.)

Letz Shake: T-minus 3, 2, 1.... OWWWW!

As the Letz Shake's machine is about is about to generate a powerful earthquake, and Raiden is charging towards Letz Shake, a mysterious figure appeared from above and sliced Letz Shake and his machine in half, killing both of them, and causing an explosion.

As the smoke cleared they mysterious figure walked towards Raiden, revealing to be Henry Cooldown.

Raiden: Hey! That was my kill!

Henry: Your fight is with me know, Raiden.... Trill me. Show me that you are worthy of the title Jack the Ripper.

Raiden: And who the hell are you?

Henry: Henry.

Raiden: Okay... Henry...

Both Henry and Raiden take out the blades and enter a fighting stance.

Raiden: Let's Dance!

Henry: Don't hate me if I play a tad dirty.

Fight[]

Both Raiden and Henry charge at each other and clash their blades.

Henry managed to push Raiden's blade up, which causes him to slide towards Raiden's side and performed multiple slashes with his Cross Blade.

Raiden was sent crashing down to ground, but quickly gets back up.

As Raiden got back up Henry proceeded by generating homing energy balls, and tossed them at Raiden.

Raiden entered Blade Mode and managed to dodge Henry's attack by slashing them into pieces.

After which, Raiden charged towards Henry.

As Henry is entering into a defense stance, Raiden slid underneath Henry, and caused him to collapse to the ground.

With a window of opportunity, Raiden attempted to cut open a downed Henry, but Henry managed to dodge Raiden assault as well as get back up.

The two traded equal blows at each other, and barely giving each other a chance to hit each other.

Eventually, the two clashed their blades again, but this time the two are running through the desert.

Henry: You're not half bad Raiden...

Raiden: The feelings mutual.

Henry: But now, I think it's time I stop playing around, don't you think?

The two end their clash and end up being about 20ft from each other.

Raiden & Henry: LET'S GO!!!

(Rules of Nature begin to play)

The two charge at each other and proceed to jump at each other.

The two's blades collide and both Raiden and Henry jumped off each other.

The two continue charging at each other, but this time Henry slid past a charging Raiden, and proceeded to slash at Raiden.

Raiden is on his knees after Henry's attack.

Henry backs up a bit and is about to perform is insta-kill.

While Henry is charging his finishing blow, Raiden turns off his pain inhibitors and activates his Ripper Mode.

Raiden begins to cackle like a madman.

Henry: So long, Raiden.

Henry charges towards Raiden, and successfully stabs him in the chest..... at the same time however.....

Henry: (*groaning in pain) What the....

...Henry sees that Raiden's blade had penetrated his chest as well.

Raiden continues to cackle like a psychopath, and proceeds to toss Henry in the sky.

(RULES OF NATURE!!!)

As Henry is descending back down, Raiden enters into his Blade Mode.

Just as Henry was about 10ft off the grown, Raiden proceeded to slash Henry into a million pieces, killing Henry.

The severed pieces of Henry fall to the ground.

Raiden: This is what happens when you mess with Jack the Ripper!

KO[]

Henry severed body parts are seen throughout the desert.

Raiden claims Henry's Cross Sword as his own.

Conclusion[]

Boomstick: Now that's what I'm talking about!

Wiz: While Henry may be a great assassin, especially since he's Travis' equal, virtually everything that Henry could do, Raiden could either counter or surpass.

Boomstick: Even though Henry had a Beam Kitana in his possession, you would think that it give him some kind of advantage, but oddly enough, it doesn't.

Wiz: While it is true that Beam Kitanas are rip-offs of Lightsabers, the major difference between the two blades, is that Beam Kitanas don't automatically slice through anything the blade come in contact with. In fact, the wielder of any kind of Beam Kitanas require one of two things. One is concentration in order to penetrate, or cut through virtually anything, or two, Weaken their foes. Think back to Travis Touchdown. He too uses Beam Kitanas, but whenever he clashes with someone with a sword, or some form of a blade, his Beam Kitana doesn't penetrate the metal alloy. So there's no doubt to when Henry's Beam Kitana clashed with Raiden's High-Frequency Blade, Henry's blade wouldn't be able to break Raiden's blade

Boomstick: And speaking of which, Raiden's High-Frequency Blade on the other hand is capable of cutting through virtually anything thanks to it being capable of weakening the molecular bonds. And while he does have to concentrate as well, his concentration requires less time than those who uses a Beam Kitana. I mean, it takes like half a second to do so.

Wiz: Not to mention, Raiden is also stronger, faster, and more durable that Henry. The only real advantage that Henry has was that he was more intelligent than Raiden, and he used tactics to give himself an advantage. But all of his tactics proved to be useless once Raiden enter his Ripper Mode.

Boomstick mocking the comment section: Oh, but what about when Henry stabbed Raiden in the chest? Shouldn't that have killed him?

Wiz: Actually, no. Remember, Raiden has been stabbed in the chest before, and he just shrugged it off like it was nothing. No to mention, Raiden is more capable of tolerating pain since he had his entire body surgically enhanced, and had both arms cut off, one of his eyes sliced out, and had his left arm slice off twice. Henry on the other, while he is tough enough to tolerate multiple slashes from a beam Kitana, it only stands to reason that he's never had and of his body parts stabbed or sliced off.

Boomstick: Henry seriously needed to Cool Down, cause all his efforts did Jack!

Wiz: The Winner is Raiden.