Heavy VS. Big Stump/Torchwood is a What-If? Death Battle featuring The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 and Big Stump/Torchwood from the Plants vs. Zombies series
Description[]
Team Fortess 2 vs. Plants vs. Zombies! Which one of these gatling giants will be victorious in this all-out arms fight!
Interlude[]
Wiz: In a small group of strong artiliery men, lot's of important members come to mind, Medics, Snipers, Meleeists.
Boomstick: But of course, the best one is gonna be the guy who's entire purpose to to tank as much gunfire as possible while absolutely shooting the hell out of everything that moves!
Wiz: Like The Heavy, the Russian brute hailing from the team of mercenaries known as the RED Team.
Boomstick: And Big Stump and Torchwood, two giant living trees hellbent on crushing and burning the undead. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armors, and skills to find out who would win…
A Death Battle
The Heavy[]
Wiz: 1917, the beginning of the Russian Revolution, a period of political and social revolution in the Russian Empire.
Boomstick: A certain man, however, was against this, so in turn, he was executed as his family was sent into the Gulag
Wiz: Becoming enraged over his father's fate, the son of the man snapped, in which he broke out of his prison and seemingly took out all of the guards there and helped his family escape.
Boomstick: In which he and his family lived up in the mountains up until the fateful day when he was invited to join the RED team as their Heavy Weapons expert.
Wiz: This man's name was Mikhail, known by many as The Heavy.
Boomstick: And oh boy, was that a good move, because The Heavy would be forever known to that team and everybody that came across him as Satan with a gun.
Wiz: With the name of 'The Heavy,' he obviosly uses a large minigun in which he calls Sasha- wait, what? Who names a gun?
Boomstick: What's wrong with naming a gun? I do it all the time! It helps with memorizing my collection, for example, this guy over here's named Dale, and this one is named Jack, and this one-
Wiz: Okay, Boomstick, we don't need to hear all about your guns, we got a character to analyze.
Boomstick: Alright fine, I'll put Mary back with her friends Steven and Wilson.
Wiz: Anyways, Sasha, unlike what the name 'Minigun' may imply, is a large gun that can fire 10,000 rounds per minute, faster than the fastest-shooting minigun ever created, which can only fire arond 6,000 rounds per minute.
Boomstick: In case just one badass minigun wasn't enough, don't worry, he's got waaaayy more up his sleeve, take the Natascha, for example.
Wiz: Seriously, what's with this guy and naming his guns?
Boomstick: Oh don't worry, a lot of people do it, like me, for example, this one's named Ale-
Wiz: ANYWAYS, the Natascha's main ability is being able to slow down any victim on contact, making it able to accurately finish off anybody
Boomstick: Or the Huo-Long Heater, a badass-looking dragon minigun that not only deals much more damage to foes on fire, but also emits a ring of fire around The Heavy when sped up, being able to easily catch people both off guard, and on fire!
Wiz: The Heavy is not only about miniguns, however, he also has access to multiple shotguns, such as the, well, shotgun, or the Panic Attack, a strange-looking shotgun that fires in a fixed pattern
Boomstick: But of course, these guns pale in comparison to the greatest weapon of them all: The Sandvich. V's make everything cool, right?
Wiz: The Sandvich, once eaten, fully heals The Heavy by 300 HP, his maximum HP in Team Fortress 2, unless you count overheal.
Boomstick: Speaking of Overheal, The Heavy, of course, has many other options to eat, such as the Dalokohs Bar, a chocolate bar that, while heals less than the regular Sandvich, gives him some Overheal, which can give some more max HP to him, you know, if his 300 HP isn't enough for you!
Wiz: Clearly the most special of these snacks is the Buffalo Steak Sandvich, while it doesn't actually heal The Heavy, he becomes much faster and dish out much more damage for a limited time, at the expense of him only being able to use his melee attacks.
Boomstick: This clearly isn't a problem for him, though, as he has many powerful melee attacks to dish out, such as his own fists, which have been shown to punch out all of the BLU Scout's blood and rip out the spine of the BLU Soldier, so yeah, he's someone you wouldn't want to get close to.
Wiz: This isn't The Heavy's only melee option, of course, The Heavy also has access to the Killing Gloves of Boxing, which can deal more damage depending on weither Heavy has just killed someone or not
Boomstick: If these aren't your thing, than the Gloves of Running Urgently is your type!
Wiz: Real creative names...
Boomstick: These gloves are alot like the Killing Gloves of Boxing, with the difference being it increasing The Heavy's speed at the cost of some of his health, also it has flame decals, who doesn't like flame decals?
Wiz: As well as the Fists of Steel, which can reduce damage from ranged sources, as well as showing off The Heavy's incredible strength. He's not called 'The Heavy' for nothing, you know.
Boomstick: And finally, the Holiday Punch. This jolly ol' pair of gloves deal more damage from behind foes, as well as making them laugh
Wiz: And, surprisingly, The Heavy has a secret weapon.
Boomstick: Oooh, boy, what's this, 2 nuclear warheads as boxing gloves? A minigun that fires literal fire ants? A sandvich that turns The Heavy into an ultra-powerful demigod?
Wiz: Nope, they're finger guns. Literal. Finger Guns.
Boomstick: Are you kidding me?... That's even better! Who doesn't love finger guns?
Wiz: With a quick pull out of his fingers in a gun shape, The Heavy can fire an incredibly dangerous invisible bullet that can make foes in it's line of sight completely explode into pieces, but honestly, if you were to die to LITERAL finger guns, you probably deserve it.
Boomstick: However, this brute isn't an unstoppable war machine by a long shot
Wiz: For starters, due to him carrying a giant minigun 24/7, this drastically slows him down, and even slower when he's firing
Boomstick: And those snacks are seemingly so tasty, The Heavy has to stand in place for around 4 seconds just to finish one, imagine him trying to eat an entire buffet.
Wiz: And The Heavy himself admitted that he can be outsmarted, but he is far from unintelligant, having a PHd in Russian literature.
Boomstick: Despite these drawbacks, however, The Heavy is the perfect combination of Brains and Brawn to take down anyone that gets in his way, and NO ONE, get's in his way, at least, if they aren't foolish.
Big Stump/Torchwood[]
Boomstick: Ah, Zombies, the most dangerous army known to man, capable of biting through flesh and devouring your brains.
Wiz: With such a looming threat over to town of Neighborville, obviously, they're gonna need some defenses, and what are these defenses?
Boomstick: Plants. Just plants.
Wiz: While it may be an odd choice at first, these are no normal plants, as these zombie-hunters are capable of movement, speech and even singing on some occasions. Not to mention the sheer variety of them.
Boomstick: One of these is Big Stump, the giant living tree tasked with vanguishing as many zombies as possible, and for a giant tree, I gotta say, he looks pretty badass.
Wiz: Big Stump's main weapon is, of course, his large, club-like arm, capable of making zombies fly from knockback, as well as absolutely crushing everyone that gets in his way.
Boomstick: He can even charge into foes for a powerful Charge Slam, capable of send zombies flying off into the distance, as well as considerably more 'oomf'
Wiz: Big Stump's club isn't his only option, however, it appears that he can inhale anybody using his large mouth, sucking foes closer towards him, althought this isn't shown to be dangerous in hindsight, due to his large club-like arm, it is extremely scary.
Boomstick: Woah, this guy must be pretty good friends with King Dedede, huh?
Wiz: This is kinda strange, considering he's basically a giant living tree, this should be impossible, since last time I checked, trees don't have lungs.
Boomstick: Wiz, this is a game where a taco-obsessed obese man fends off hoards of the undead with giant walnuts and flowers, a tree having lungs is probably the most logical thing in this series.
Wiz: Understandable
Boomstick: Anyways, Big Stump can also tear off a peice of his bark to throw at opponents, which is basically the equivalent to some dude ripping off his OWN FLESH and throwing it at you, yikes.
Wiz: This bark packs a punch, and from what it seems in-game, tearing off bark, despite basically being his flesh, doesn't seem to harm himself in any way.
Boomstick: And if that wasn't enough, this guy's even got his own mini-army of rocky plants, including Rock Peas and Petrified Cactuses, both varients of existing plants with hard outer exteriors greatly increasing their defense!
Wiz: However, Big Stump has one glaring flaw: A lack of ranged options.
Boomstick: Don't get us wrong, up close, this guy is horrifying, but at a large distance, he basically has next to nothing to use except throw his flesh at you and run up towards you, both cold be easily dodged and are predictable.
Wiz: However, this drawback is nullified with his powerful varient: The Giga-Torchwood.
Boomstick: It hasn't been directly confirmed that Big Stump and Giga-Torchwood are one and the same, however, since side-by-side they're essentially identical, we'll be assuming they're the same being
Wiz: As Giga-Torchwood, he gains a gatling-gun arm in exchange for his club-like arm and an eternal flame on his head
Boomstick: Jeez, hope he likes having a fever.
Wiz: Giga-Torchwood is the polar-opposite of Big Stump, where Big Stump was a master in close-ranged combat, Giga-Torchwood is powerful from long ranges
Boomstick: Take his Torch Gatling, for example, this gun can fire a rapid barrage of burning bullets that ignite foes.
Wiz: Or the Volano Breeath, in which Giga-Torchwood breathes fire in front of his which can ignite foes.
Boomstick: And the Big Shot, in which he fires a large projectile that explodes on contact in a heap of flames, though it's slow moving, this move is SCARY.
Wiz: He can also create a leaf-shie-
Boomstick: Wait, a Leaf-Shield? AW crap, is this another one of those Mega-Men, y'know, as if there weren't ENOUGH Mega-Men
Wiz: Actually, no, but it works similarly, in which Giga-Torchwood creates a leaf-shield that, although drastically lowering his speed, gives him some more defense, as if he wasn't any MORE powerful.
Boomstick: And in case he wasn't powerful enough, when his health gets low, he releases his pent-up rage as his flames turn blue, allowing him to shoot unlimited bullets, move faster, and generally just get even more angry.
Wiz: Despite this, however, Giga-Torchwood still has some glaring flaws. For starters, if one of his variations, Grumpy Stumpy, is anything to go by, he appears to be rather idiotic, not being able to talk properally, which could make him easily outsmarted.
Boomstick: He's also a large target, meaning that although he can take a hit, he can take many at once, no matter how accurate an enemy can be due to his large size Wiz: Despite these flaws, Big Stump and Giga-Torchwood are powerful trees not to be meddled with, unless you wanna take on his rage.
Boomstick: If only Team Trees had this guy on their side, #TeamTrees, y'all
DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BAATLLLEEE!
FIGHT![]
Chaos. That's what the entire city was in, as civillians dashed through alleyways and houses in a desperate attempt to escape the volley of bullets and explosions that came from both sides.
And from one side, was The heavy. He charged down the street, as his team clashed with these... Undead soldiers? It wasn't the weirdest thing he had seen, but it was definetly counfusing. He was use to skeletons coming back to live, NOT zombies.
Regardless, they still died when he shot them, so it was enough for him. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Herr doctor.
Medic: We must move, jetzt!
Heavy: Gotcha, doctor!
Heavy quickly pulled out sasha, and was about to unload into the incoming hoard of zombies, when what looked like a RZ van came flying out of the air, and hovered inbetween the two teams.
Engineer: What in sam hill is that?!
Suddenly, from the bottom from it, comes a cactus, a snowflower, a... corn? And a giant tree! THIS was the Heavy's enemy for today.
The Torchwood.