Death Battle Fanon Wiki
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Description:[]

It's a Super Smash Bros. Royale. Which one of these Heavy Class characters will be the one that wins it all in this battle?

Interlude:[]

Wiz: The Super Smash Bros series is one of the most beloved series in the gaming community. From its lightest characters and to its heaviest characters.

Boomstick: So why not have a select few of Heavy characters duel to the death?

Wiz: We have Bowser, King of the Koopas!

Boomstick: King Dedede, the Greedy son of a bitch King of Dreamland!

Wiz: Donkey Kong, the Strongest Kong there is!

Boomstick: Samus Aran, the sexy Galactic Bounty Hunter!

Wiz: Charizard, the Dragon Pokemon!

Boomstick: Wario, the Anti-Mario!

Wiz: Ike, the Son of Greil!

Boomstick: Bowser Jr., the Prince of Koopas!

Wiz: R.O.B, the Robotic Operating Buddy!

Boomstick: And finally, Ganondorf, the Master of All Evil

Wiz: Now to state the rules of this fight. We will be using information straight out of games not under the Super Smash Bros series.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death Battle!

Bowser:[]

Wiz: The Mario kingdom is a vast place full of beautiful creatures and scenery.

Boomstick: But like any beautiful flower, it was a dark side. I am talking about peri-

Wiz: THIS Dark side of the Mushroom Kingdom is the Koopa Kingdom.

Boomstick: Full of sentient turtles, brown penises with feet, giant yellow cacti that need to move faster, you name it! But there is one that stands out above all else... King Koopa.

Wiz: Commonly known as Bowser, this over nine feet tall turtle is one of the powerhouses in the Marioverse. You may be asking, how strong is Bowser? Well we had to do pixel scaling or in other words pixel measurements from Bowser's Inside Story and following a bunch of math of Bowser carrying a cannonball 7.625 times his size across its diameter or seventy feet at its widest.

Boomstick: Then calculating Bowser's full height he is 9.25196 so times that by 7.625 and you get 70.546195. Divide that by two and you get 35.2730975. Now doing the calculations for the volume of a sphere, you get 183901.9259746328 cubic feet but that's not all. Wiz, you do the rest, I'm done with math for today.

Wiz: Cast iron, assuming that's what the cannonball is made out of, is 450 pounds per cubic foot. When multiplying the volume by the cast iron weight, you get a whopping 82755866.68858476 pounds of solid iron. Divide that by 2000 and you get approximately 41,378 tons. But there is a feat more impressive than that.

Boomstick: In the same game, he was shown to move an island towards him.

Wiz: He can even defeat enemies who are possibly five times as tall as he is.

Boomstick: And Bowser is one durable fuck as he's been thrown in lava multiple times, can still fight even as a skeleton, has had his own castle fall on him and he survived, he even fell into a star, survived the explosion of a supernova, blown up, electrocuted, flash frozen and then shattered, yet he has never been truly defeated. Hell, in playable Bowser sections in The Thousand Year Door he has infinite lives, possibly explaining his durability.

Wiz: And despite being a turtle, Bowser is quite athletic and fast. Being able to keep up with Mario and others in the Olympic Games. He can also jump at insane heights and slam down creating a shockwave.

Boomstick: Bowser does have powers and abilities such as his flame breath, allowing him to spit erratic shots at enemies, spit blue hot flames that home-in on his enemies, and more fire abilities.

Wiz: He can duck in his shell for cover, roll into enemies to hurt them, can bite people and poison them, and he can also use lightning to some extent.

Boomstick: He can teleport as well, shown in the Galaxy games. Possibly due to his knowledge of dark magic. And he can transform into a giant, beastly form called Giga Bowser

Wiz: In this form, Bowser becomes twice as strong and all his attacks have a side effect, such as being frozen, catching on fire, being paralyzed, or other side effects. However, this does not last for a long time.

Boomstick: Bowser is a power house, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have any weaknesses.

Wiz: Bowser isn't that smart compared to everyone else. And he isn't all that great on the long-ranged field.

Boomstick: But besides that, Bowser might flare out the competition.

King Dedede:[]

Wiz: Dreamland is magical place full of cute little creatures that are powerful enough to crack the planet in half and slaughter the helpless who attempt to defend themselves by walking right at their killer.

Boomstick: And those little fucktard creatures are known as the Waddle Dees Nuts, guardians of their kingdom.

Wiz: Now, who is their king? A giant Waddle Dee? A giant Waddle Doo? A giant little annoying creature htta gets pissed when you pick up a damn key-

Boomstick: It's a fucking penguin. But not just one ordinary penguin, we're talking a penguin that wears clothes, wields a heavy ass mallet, and talks like the asshole country guy that thinks he's better than you. His name is King Dedede.

Wiz: What you just described with the asshole country guy is you, except Dedede was a slightly higher voice. Anyways King Dedede is strong enough to swing that giant hammer around, he can swing it hard enough to damage Kirby, who has planet level durability.

Boomstick: And if you can hurt someone with planet level durability, you can sure as hell hurt people a few steps above that.

Wiz: King Dedede is able to inhale his opponents much like Kirby, but he cannot copy their abilities. Instead, he spits them out as stars, dealing a good bit of damage.

Boomstick: And he can hammerspace his minions and throw them as projectiles, more particularly, Gordos. Gordos are giant spiky balls that are made out of iron, and they pack a wallop.

Wiz: And he can do a quick jump in the air, and when he lands, it's powerful. And his hammer acts as a giant combuster engine, capable of exploding upon contact.

Boomstick: Dedede is capable of many hammer attacks as well, sliding across the ground while swinging it around, throwing it and it poofing back into his hand, and somehow it catches on fire before swinging, doing extreme damage.

Wiz: But that's not all, as Dedede has a different form: Masked Dedede

Boomstick: Masked Dedede, as the name implies, is King Dedede with a mask on. However, he has a powered up hammer and new moves.

Wiz: His new hammer packs a harder punch, can fire miniature missiles, use the hammer's flamethrower, does a super powered hammer spin that seemingly breaks the sound barrier, and can shock the battle field with an electrical charge that runs through it.

Boomstick: However, Dedede has flaws. He's very greedy and that sometimes gets in his way of getting what he wants. also, he loses to a baby.

Wiz: But even still, he's a force to be reckoned with.

Donkey Kong:[]

Boomstick: back in the good ol' arcade games, that son of a bitch Cranky Kong was Mario's rival. Now, after a few generations, came DK, and he's the best of the crew.

Wiz: DK is one strong as Kong, being able to punch the moon out of orbit, in a second and a half, at that.

Boomstick: But that was done for humo-

Wiz: The moon punching feat was done, so there for, he did it. Anyways, DK runs at above average speed and tanks explosives easily.

Boomstick: DK also has his own special moves like all the other fighters. Being the Spinning Kong, and attack that let's him hover for a short time and combo enemies. His headbutt it powerful enough to bury his opponents in the ground. And finally, the Ground Slam creates shock waves off the ground capable of sending his opponent flying.

Wiz: And he can clap hard enough to create a shock wave... so DK is like the Incredible Hulk? Anyways, DK has his own power ups and long ranged weaponry as well.

Boomstick: DK can carry barrels and throw them hard enough to definitely hurt some crocodiles. And he also has some kind of launcher.

Wiz: The launcher Boomstick here is talking about is the Coconut launcher, self explanatory. And he also has some Orange Grenades. A nice flavor explosion with a hint of citrus.

Boomstick: I will kill you if you ever try to make a joke again.

Wiz: Anyways, DK has an invincible form, and it is called: The Strong Kong!

Boomstick: In this form, DK is impervious to all and any damage for about a minute or two. In this time, there is really no change in power.

Wiz: But Donkey Kong has his weaknesses. Such as compared to his competition, he has LITTLE smarts and arsenal, especially to his DB rival Wario.

Boomstick: But DK is the strongest Kong with the biggest expanding dong.

*DK beats his chest in triumph*

Samus Aran:[]

Wiz: Born to humans but raised by the alien race Chozos because some asshole pterodactyl kill her parents, Samus Aran is the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Boomstick: At least she wouldn't try to kill me, unlike Jade...

Wiz: Who the hell is Jade? Anyways, Samus is on tough motherfucker, being able to survive gravity that would kill the average man, let alone be able to run Mach 4.9 on it.

Boomstick: Samus, while having little strength feats, makes up for it with her plethora of missiles and lasers.

Wiz: So many lasers that the best one is her Ice Beam, a beam so cold that it can freeze a star, according to calculations.

Boomstick: Samus's misisles also come in different forms. Such as normal and super. There is also a freeze missile upgrade that, of course, freezes the opponent.

Wiz: And for other abilities, she can bust through solid chunks of ice by using the Speed Booster, attack enemies multiple times using the Screw Attack-

Plethora of SA workers: AAAAY!

Boomstick: The morph ball lets her drop bombs and the almighty power bomb, the same used to put down the Metroid Queen.

Wiz: Her grappling beam allows her to pull her targets to her and attack from there. Heck, she even has a cannon that's designed to shoot molten lava at her enemies.

Boomstick: Well, looks like Bowser is screwed.

Wiz: And along with that she can shoot a flamethrower from her arm cannon. But her mightiest beam is the Hyper Beam. Whenever she goes into Hyper Mode, watch the hell out.

Boomstick: This beam's damage is labeled "devastating" and it's the only thing that could really defeat the all powerful Dark Samus.

Wiz: But enough about the stuff she can shoot because honestly, that would take forever. Samus can withstand planet sized explosions and can run so fast that a beam of light cannot truly stop her, hell, it couldn't incinerate her.

Boomstick: But if you somehow close the gap with Samus, she doesn't really have that many options up close, leaving her almost helpless.

Wiz: But the Galactic Federation's own bounty hunter is anything but helpless.

Charizard:[]

Boomstick: In the world of pokemon, there are many cute, cuddly creatures that turn into badasses. But one of these badasses is the most ferocious of them all.

Wiz: This pokemon we are talking about is the almighty Dragon Pokemon, Charizard.

Boomstick: Charizard is a very formidable opponent, being able to sweep the battle field clean with its devastating fire type attacks.

Wiz: Such attacks include Fire Spin, Flamethrower, Flare Blitz, Fire Fang, and Flame Burst. However, using Flare Blitz causes recoil damage.

Boomstick: And along with the flame attacks, he has his deal of other attacks as well. Such as Slash, Dragon Claw, Shadow Claw, Wing Attack, or Air Slash.

Wiz: Now you might be asking, "how powerful are a Charizard's flame attacks?" It's simple. Charizards can burn through solid stone, meaning its flamethrower reaches over 2000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Boomstick: Make some smores out of that, kids.

Wiz: Charizards stats in Speed and Special Attack are pretty impressive, however the other stats don't do so well.

Boomstick: But hey, Charizard has a mega form: Mega Charizard X

Wiz: This form boosts its attack, defense, and special attack, making it a huge force to be reckoned with. Especially since it has some devastating physical attacks under its belt.

Boomstick: And this guy finally got the typing we all wanted Charizard to be: Fire and Dragon.

Wiz: But Charizards have a downfall, a MASSIVE downfall at that.

Boomstick: Charizards are aggressive and act as warriors and will seek out opponents bigger and stronger and fight them. It's like Kanye West and a dragon had a baby.

Wiz: And if its tail gets doused with water then it dies rather quickly. And it is also weak to Electricity and Rocks.

Boomstick: But if you really want a fucking DRAGON to fly around on and kick the asses of your enemies with, Charizard will be your main man.

Wario:[]

Wiz: Greedy, fat, and seriously looks like a troll, Wario is possibly one of the more known video game characters out there.

Boomstick: He is hideous, but that doesn't mean he can pull a Zangief and pile drive his enemies into the ground!

Wiz: Yes, Wario is strong enough to pick up a Dragon and piledrive it. But that's not all he can do. He can crash through solid brick with a shoulder charge, throw his enemies over large distances, and roll to break through brick, stone, and ice.

Boomstick: And this guys' teeth are so big. I mean, he bites his enemies and chomps on them as an attack. Oh, also, he has a Nuclear Fart Attack that propels him so fucking high into the air.

Wiz: Wario also has his fair share of abilities, such as the Pots- no, not the drug, but Pots. There are three pots that give him abilities. The Jet Pot gives him bunny ears and gives him the ability to fly. The Dragon Pot gives him pyrokinesis that works underwater. Finally, the Bull Pot gives him enhanced strength and can cling to walls.

Boomstick: I know it's a Mario character, but seriously, Rabbit Ears lets him fly? Breath fire underwater? Bulls cling to walls?

Wiz: Don't question it.

Boomstick: Anyways, Wario is known as the Master of Disguise as well. Even though these abilities are strong, one hit and they're gone. But anyways, these 8 forms start with Thief Wario, an absolute useless form that only increases his speed. Cosmic Wario gives him a laser gun and allows him to jump higher. Arty Wario allows him to create hearts for health and create boxes. On the downside, he can't move OR attack. Genius Wario can see invisible items and uses an extendable boxing glove to hit foes at large distances.

Wiz: Sparky Wario allows him to shoot sparks of electricity. Dragon Wario is basically the Dragon Pot. Captain Wario can float on water and submerge and fire torpedoes. Finally, Wicked Wario... he can just fly.

Boomstick: And that's not all. Wario has a super form like most of these fighters. Wario Man is accessed by eating a special garlic, seriously what is up with him and garlic? Anyways, Wario Man is invulnerable to attacks, is faster and stronger, can survive in space, and can fly momentarily.

Wiz: And Wario has his own modes of transportation, such as the Wario Car. The Wario Car is essentially a sports car. However it takes time to build up speed.

Boomstick: And the Wario Bike. A bike custom-built for Wario. It has better acceleration than The Wario Car and is good for chasing down enemies. And if it breaks, he can use the wheels as weapons.

Wiz: Wario, however, is very greedy and will often cheat to win, which if going against an aggressive enemy will sure as hell fucking backfire.

Boomstick: But Wario can prove to the world that he is da best.

Ike:[]

Wiz: Born in the in the continent of Tellius to the leader of the Greil Mercenaries, Ike was a normal child that was trained under his father.

Boomstick: And even though he was a normal child and not of royalty, why does every Fire Emblem protagonist need blue hair?

Wiz: I don't know, Boomstick. When Ike was finally old enough to join his father's group, he was looked down upon by the others in the group.

Boomstick: But after a few missions of success, Ike was finally accepted as one with the group... until the Black Knight killed his father.

Wiz: Ike took his sister, took up leadership of the group, and took them around Tellius to defeat the Black Knight and to win a war.

Boomstick: He started out as a ranger and stayed that way for most of the Mad King's War. But when he achieved the class of being a lord, boy was he stronger.

Wiz: This is true as the sword he wields, Ragnell, is supposed to be a two-handed sword, but Ike swings it fairly quickly with one hand. He also has another weapon, his father's axe Urvan. This axe is so giant and it's claimed to be the most powerful axe in all of Tellius.

Boomstick: Now Ike has his fair share of abilities. Such as Eruption, an attack that envelops Ragnell in an orange fire and the longer it's charged, the more powerful it will be. Hell, when it's charged up all the way it causes an actual explosion!

Wiz: He can also use Counter, and attack that if Ike gets hit, he will hit his opponent back with as much damage they did to him. And Ike's most iconic ability is the Aether. He throws his sword up in the air, ctaches it, and then brings it down on top of his enemies.

Boomstick: Quickdraw allows him to close the distance with is enemies fairly quickly and then slash at them. And finally, Ike's most powerful move: The Great Aether.

Wiz: The Great Aether envelops Ragnell in fire while Ike swings it upward, knocking his opponent in the air. From there, he jumps up and slashes them repeatedly before slamming the sword on top of them and bringing them to the ground.

Boomstick: But Ike's most powerful attribute is his blessing from the Goddess Yune. With this blessing, he was able to take down the Goddess Ashera, annihilating her with Ragnell.

Wiz: And because Ike loves to fight for his friends, that's what causes him to win his battles often. Whether it was for being the only one to ever disarm a Subspace Bomb or to defeat the man that killed his father: The Black Knight.

Boomstick: Even tohugh he has borderline superhuman strength, he is very slow because of his heavy armor and sword and axe. But somehow he has been shown to ru nas wast as Marth and Meta Knight, bah whatever.

Wiz: What does matter is that Ike loves and fights for his friends.

Bowser Jr.:[]

Boomstick: After years and years of Bowser kidnapping Peach, they finally-

Wiz: That's not what happened, no one knows who Bowser Jr.'s mom is and it's announced that Peach isn't.

Boomstick: Damnit. oh well. Bowser Jr. has no real physical attacks or anything out side of his almighty Clown Car. The Clown Car can release explosive Mechakoopas that stick to the enemy on contact, shoot a cannonball, dash around by turning it into a cart, or Bowser Jr. can jump out and it will explode.

Wiz: The Clown Car also has two drills for attacking its enemies, use two ball and chains to crush the enemy, and use its tongue to lick its enemies to death?

Boomstick: Strange. But Bowser Jr. has two giant mechs at his disposal. The first one being the Megahammer. A mech with two giant hammers on its hands and it can shoot out bullet bills. Just looking at this thing makes me cringe at how obvious the weak spot is.

Wiz: Those two breast domes are it's weakness, along with the giant one on its back. Once those are destroyed, the cockpit with Bowser Jr. inside is revealed and then you just wail on there.

Boomstick: And when that fails, he has his Boomsday Bunker. A giant tank like machine with a plethora hazards.

Wiz: The Boomsday Machine has access to a multitude of fire balls spinning around in a circle, electric shock balls all around the place, and can run over its foes.

Boomstick: But again, super obvious weak point. Which is a weakness to Bowser Jr.'s style of attacking from mechs. Also, when his mechs are destroyed and so is his Clown Car, he's a goner.

Wiz: But the brute force of his machines may steal the win for him.

R.O.B:[]

Boomstick: Back in the late 80s kids had the NES, and they mostly had no one to play with.

Wiz: That's when Nintendo released the ROB to help these lonely kids in their time of need.

Boomstick: But when they were all corrupted by the evil being known as Tabuu, the leader of the ROBs became loyal to them, possibly to save his species.

Wiz: But after basically saying "fuck it", he helped the main heroes destroy the Subspace Bomb factory and he joined the quest to defeat Tabuu.

Boomstick: ROB's main ability is to shoot a laser, depending on how long he charges it, the laser will do a certain amount of damage.

Wiz: He can send out Gyros to hit his enemy and use his arm rotors to reflect objects back at the person wh threw the projectile.

Boomstick: His propulsor allows him to fly for short distances or to burn his enemies with it.

Wiz: But his most powerful attack is his Super Diffusion Beam, an attack that can trap the opponent in front of him, being bombarded with lasers, and then send them flying with a final burst.

Boomstick: But he has a significant weakness, he has no feats what so ever.

Wiz: But... I actually have nothing inspiring for him...

Ganondorf:[]

Wiz: Long ago in the Kingdom of Hyrule, there was peace and prosperity for the evil lord known as Ganondorf was defeated. But seemingly every 100 years he returns with a new age of darkness and each time, he is defeated by-

Boomstick: Our main man Link, the fairy boy!

Wiz: Damnit Boomstick!

Boomstick: Sorry, couldn't resist. Ganondorf is capable of using energy blasts and such. He's also a very skilled swords man, and he has a fuck ton of swords.

Wiz: His most powerful sword is the Sage's Sword. Since it was used by the Sage of Water for executing, you can tell it's pretty fucking powerful.

Boomstick: And if you want to duel wield, he has his Swords of Despair. These swords are capable of slicing and dicing more efficiently then Link's Master Sword.

Wiz: And while Ganondorf wears some very heavy ass armor, he's actually pretty fast.

Boomstick: And Ganondorf has his own ultimate form as well: Ganon. This is a giant pig version of Ganondorf with two swords. And he hits twice as hard, but alas, a sword to the head killed Ganon.

Wiz: Which brings us to his weaknesses. Ganondorf seemingly only has one: He can only be killed by weapons with a divine property.

Boomstick: With his dark arts and swords, Ganondorf may be able to darken the battle field with the blood of his enemies.

Death Battle:[]

Master Hand is floating around Final Destination, waiting for some player to finish Classic Mode. He seemingly floats there and then snaps his fingers, turning Final Destination into a giant field. He grabs the figurines of Bowser, King Dedede, DK, Samus Aran, Charizard, Wario, Ike, Bowser Jr., ROB, and Ganondorf and set them down before turning them all on. ROB's figurine breaks suddenly, causing Master Hand to proclaim "shit" and carry on.

Wario scratches his butt and looks at everyone else, who look confused. Samus polishes her arm cannon while King Dedede summons some Waddle Dees to dance with them. Suddenly, Master Core appears and erupts darkness, hitting the nine combatants and making their eyes turn red and face towards each other.

"3"

King Dedede smashes his Waddle Dee's faces in and kicks them far away. DK and Samus charge up their Special Bs.

"2"

Bowser Jr. climbs into his clown car. Ganondorf pulls out his Sage Sword. Ike pulls out Ragnell and swings it around menacingly.

"1"

"GO!"

Charizard moves first, slashing at DK with his claws before the great ape throws the dragon to the side while Bowser Jr. fires a cannonball at DK's head. Bowser and Wario's fists collide, sending small shock waves through the arena. Wario slips around Bowser and spins him around, throwing him into Samus. Samus, before that, was fighting Dedede and was getting the upperhand before Bowser collided with her. At that next moment Ganondorf and Ike clashed their swords and attempted to overpower the other.

Bowser Jr. charges up another cannonball but is interrupted by Wario being thrown at him. Wario sees the child and punches him and he is sent flying into the forest a couple dozen meters away. DK and Charizard are still going at it. DK fires multiple homing coconuts at Charizard and the latter gets stunned. DK then throws an Orange Grenade at Charizard and it explodes on contact, sending the Dragon Pokemon into a bush. DK turns away to fight the others when a flash of black and blue hits DK, sending the ape to the ground. DK gets up to see the attacker: Mega Charizard X. Charizard X flies back at DK and grabs the ape, taking him into the forest. The camera stays on the forest as a head flies out, but who's head? The head hits Bowser in the face and he takes it off to see the black, leathery skin.

"CHARIZARD, DEFEATED!"

Bowser Jr., at that moment, flies by the two Mario rivals and into a giant mech, the Megahammer. Bowser and DK begin to run away from the mech as Samus comes into save the day by hopping on its breasts and firing at them ,destroying them and then moving to the back one. With the cockpit exposed, Samus makes a small hole in the glass and uses her grappling beam to grab the Koopa. She begins to pull him through and she rips off a giant chunk of his flesh off and shoots a missile in the cockpit, jumping off as the whole mech explodes.

"BOWSER JR., DEFEATED!"

Bowser: JR! NOOOOO!

Bowser glows and grows into Giga Bowser and chases after all the other combatants. He kicks Smus into a mountain, punches Dedede into the ground and breathes fire down the hole, and throws DK into a tree off in the distance. Ganondorf and Ike, who were STILL trying to overpower the other when they saw Giga Bowser turn towards them. Ike looks at Ganondorf and the latter nods his head. Ike takes out Urvin as Ganondorf grabs him and throws him at the giant beast, who is now starting to glow and turning back into his normal form. As Ike approaches swiftly, Bowser turns back and stands there stunned as Ike swings Urvin, taking off the head of the Great Koopa King.

"BOWSER, DEFEATED!"

Ike smiles to himself as he turns around in time to see Ganondorf rushing at him and the latter swings. Ike counters in time, breaking the Sage Sword and slashing the dark lord's chest. Ganondorf, enraged, turns into Ganon. ganon chases after Ike, who begins to run away. Ike turns around quickly and uses Quick Draw on one of Ganon's ankles. He then slices the other, sending the giant beast to the ground. Ike then goes to Ganon's head, swinging the axe Urvin into his throat and Ragnell into Ganon's head.

"GANONDORF, DEFEATED!"

Ike turns to see the four other combatants re-entering the arena. They all face each other and begin rush towards each other.

Ike: Prepare yourselves.

Samus: Try me.

At that, Samus and Ike clash while DK and Dedede exchange blows, hammer and fist. Ike shoots a Normal Missile at Ike, but because it's moving a little slow for a missile, Ike is able to dodge it and he swings at Samus, who rolls behind Ike and uses the grappling beam and slams him in the ground over and over before swinging him behind her. Samus uses it again, catching Ike by the arm and then throwing him behind her again.

RIIIIIIIP

Ike's arm was totally torn off and he was flying quickly at DK and Dedede. DK saw this and punched Dedede out of the way and unleashed a fully charged Giant Punch. As Ike was heading face first towards the Great Ape, the punch went straight through the soldier's body, entering from where his head used to be and exiting at his... downstairs area. DK then attempts to get the body off his arm and then rips half of it off, revealing a very bloody arm.

"IKE, DEFEATED!"

DK and Samus face towards each other. DK pulls out his coconut launcher and fires multiple homing coconuts, in which Samus slaps them out of the way. DK leaps into a barrel and launches at Samus, who at the last second before the ape collided fires a fully charged shot, obliterating the torso of the animal and sending his head and limbs everywhere.

"DONKEY KONG, DEFEATED!"

Wario the whole time was scratching his ass and sniffing the same hand he had used to do so. He noticed that Dedede and Samus had forgotten he was there and decided to fight each other. Wario whistled at them and they noticed. Dedede ran at the little troll who did his Side Taunt from SSB4 (The butt shake one) and proceeded to unleash his nuclear fart right on Dedede, sending him flying towards a mountain.

Wario: Hahaha!

Samus ran at the little troll and punched him before grabbing him and throwing him to the ground. Wario activated his Sparky Wario form and fired a plethora of sparks at Samus, some hitting and electrocuting her due to her armor. Samus hit Wario away and then grabbed him with her Grapple Beam and pulled him back before flinging him into the air.

Samus: Try me...

Samus leaped up into the air and attempted a Screw Attack but Wario ate a Special Garlic clove and turned into Wario Man, the attack did nothing. He then grabbed her and spun and threw her to the ground, creating a huge crater. Samus entered Hyper Mode and fired lasers at the Anti-Mario but nothing happened. Wario crashed down with a punch, sending Samus deep into the Earth. Unluckily for Wario, his transformation ran out and was now vulnerable. Samus blasted him out of the hole and jumped up, following with a well-placed Screw Attack, buzz-sawing the troll man in half. She proceeded to blow up both halves with multiple lasers, leaving only ash.

"WARIO, DEFEATED!"

Samus looked for Dedede but she knew he was probably dead. After a while of nothing, she began to do her victory pose when a Gordo was launched at her from the tree line. She got back into her fighting stance before a hammer smacked right into her. She was about to land when the same hammer hit her in the back, sending her back towards the crater. Her armor peeled off, revealing her Zero Suit self. She had only one thought by this point:

Good game.

Dedede, now Masked Dedede smacked his hammer into Samus, obliterating her torso. Her bottom half slumped as her arms and head went rolling off to the side. Dedede's trance wore off and he stared in horror over what bloodbath he was just in.

OH WELL, he didn't die, why should he care?

KO!

In a SSBWU fashion, Dedede does his Big Gay Dance while the losers corpses are shown the way they died.

Results:[]

Boomstick: HOW THE FUCK DID A PENGUIN WIN?

Wiz: Let us explain why this went down the way it did before you get confused. First of all, ROB is featless and wouldn't last long, so we didn't even include him in the battle and have him get killed off before it could begin.

Boomstick: Charizard is basically featless too. But mega Charizard X could have put up a better fight since it defeated planet wiping Mewtwo, right? No, because that Charizard only won because of Red.

Wiz: Bowser Jr. was next because he has few feats, and even then, those feats barely do anything for him. And not only that, his mechas would only get him so far.

Boomstick: And we know about the Super Nova for Bowser but that's unknown whether it's valid or not. And he has really no other durability feats besides a castle falling on him. Plus, he's not that fast or all that strong either.

Wiz: Ganondorf could have won since he had everything going for him... until Ike had Ragnell. Ragnell is a divine weapon just like the Master Sword. And when you count Ike's experience with swords, Ganondorf was beat.

Boomstick: Speaking of Ike, it was only his experience that was keeping him in the game for as long as he lasted. But the other four were able to destroy him with ease.

Wiz: Donkey Kong is a giant threat compared to others, but when you pit him against people with greater strength, speed, and durability, he wouldn't last long.

Boomstick: If this fight didn't include Samus OR Dedede, Wario would have won due to his strength, durability, speed, and arsenal. All of it being able to trump everyone else. But he's only a leaf compared to the trees that are Dedede and Samus.

Wiz: And let's just say it, Samus gets utterly destroyed here. Dedede has defeated a Universal being by the name of Magolor, giving him Universal level strength and Universal level durability as well as being faster than Samus.

Boomstick: We gotta stop being people with hammers in these battles, Wiz. They just completely smash the competition.

Wiz: The winner is King Dedede

Polls:[]





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