Season 1 Episode 1
By RedneckRowlet Previous None Next General Grievous vs Darth Maul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92H3Mscg7QQ
Shock: These two things have to deal with darkness.
Crossfire: One is named pit the other is a living pit.
Shock: Dark Pit the doppleganger and rival of Pit.
Crossfire: And Guzzlord the ultra beats that is a living black hole.
Shock: He's Crossfire and i'm Shock and its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a death battle!
Guzzlord
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJeZyzJjM8I
Shock: When Aether President Lusamine got Nebby out of the bag and into a container she called out Ub's or ultra beasts to cause havoc in the Alola region.
Crossfire: Out of all the islands Poni Island got Guzzlord also known as ub05 Glutton.
Shock: Wow is that an edgy dinosaur Snorlax awesome.
Crossfire: Nope its an ultra beast with a big mouth, Ankylosaurus like tail, 2 sets of claw arms, spikes around its eyes, and 2 stubby thick legs.
Crossfire: It can swallow mountains and oceans but how can it do that with 2 stubby legs I mean being only around 18 feet its arms probably aren't that big?
Shock: Anyway it doesn't need to get around for food if its mouth is a huge black hole.
Crossfire: Woah what thats insane imagine how much stuff could get sucked in if it used dark hole eclipse boosted crunch.
Shock: Other than that he can also learn moves like draco meteor to annihilate opponents from above, club them far away with dragon tail and iron tail, smash them with stomping tantrum and hammer arm, squeeze them like a kitchen rag with ring out, or use its sheer mass to crush them with heavy slam and much more.
Crossfire: Guzzlord a mountain eating hard hitting giant seems like it would be almost unbeatable by no huge planet buster or anything but it has flaws.
Shock: First off it has a huge 4x weakness to fairy so magical attacks that don't involve elements that it resists could fatally wound it. It is also 2x weak to fighting, bug, ice, and its own type dragon. Also its stats aren't insane. It has horrible defense and special defense as well as being extremely slow. It relies on its insanely large hp stat and decent attack stats to stand a chance.
Crossfire: But it does resist things such as fire, water, electricity, grass, ghost, dark, and is immune to psychic attacks so mind controlling and anything involving connecting to and breaking someones mind is useless.
Shock: Anyway, if Guzzlord sees you be ready to play pizza pie at his dinner time.
Dark Pit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COgGsetFrCM
Crossfire: Dark Pit is the rival of Kid of Icarrus protagonist Pit.
Shock: Hey he looks like Pit but dark, oh thats why thats his name.
Crossfire: Anyway he was created when Pit destroyed the Mirror of Truth.
Shock: And what Pit created was a serious, angry, and cheating form of himself known as the rebellious Dark Pit.
Crossfire: This guy is pretty mysterious and sometimes even teams up with pit to achieve goals kinda like me and Shock.
Shock: Hey I only do it for our fans.
Crossfire: Anyway he obviously has all of pits abilities including arrows fired from his silver bow.
Shock:He also has his signature weapon which goes by the extremely clever name of the Dark Pit Staff what?
Crossfire: So his staff can shoot projectiles at extremely fast rates and is 4x as strong as it is close up as it is long range.
Shock: However he prefers to use his main skills and his silver bow. These skills include common kicks and punches as well as the electroshock arm, a weapon that is basically the Kid Icarrus version of the Pokemon move thunder punch.
Crossfire: He also gained the ability of unlimited flight so to stop him from flying you need to injure his wings.
Shock: He can also power himself up by charging darkness energy, another skill given to him buy goddess Pandora.
Crossfire: However he comes with flaws and is overall an unbalanced version of Pit and if anything ever happens to Pit it will affect his clone, meaning if Pit is injured while Dark Pit is fighting he might seriously lose.
Shock: Anyway no ostrich or rival would survive Dark Pit by sticking their head in a pit.
Intermission
Crossfire: Alright the combatants are set lets settle this debate once and for all.
Shock: Its time for a death battle.
Encounter
Dark Pit is flying around Poni Island looking for Pandora when he sees a large portal open and the sky turn grey.
Dark Pit: Wow what is that.
Out of the sky a large dinosaur like creature with an enormous mouth appears and lands on the ground.
Dark Pit: Okay wow thats a big guy now I'll get on my way.
Guzzlord thought he should probably shoot what looked like a flying kid but he was hungry and pointed at a large Donphan in the background and then his mouth.
Dark Pit: You want me to get that for you big guy, no I take orders form no one, and he readied his bow.
Guzzlord: Guzz guzz loooooord.
Guzzlord started rampaging and roaring before readying his arms like pincers for a fight.
Fight!
Guzzlord used hammer arm but Dark Pit flew up and fired his bow rapidly. Most of the arrows bounced off like balls but a few got stuck in Guzzlord's head so he ripped them out and he threw them at Dark pit who effortlessly dodged. Guzzlord then fired off dark pulses from its hands only for pit to again skillfully dodge. Dark Pit went on the offense and dove at the beasts large mouth, hoping it was a weak point, and used upperdash arm to break one of Guzzlord's teeth off. However before he could retreat Dark Pit was blasted full on by a flamethrower, searing his wings, but luckily he recovered only lightly burned.
Dark Pit: So you can shoot fire still nothing I can't handle.
Guzzlord: Guzzlord.
Guzzlord used iron tail on the ground sending it flying up. It was right on top of Dark Pit before giving him a full on hammer arm to the face sending him down onto the ground. Guzzlord followed up with a full power heavy slam but Dark Pit recovered, dodged, and fired his rifle at Guzzlord's behind although due to close range it wasn't very strong.
Angered Guzzlord used dragon tail smashing the unaware Dark Pit far out of the troposphere but he recovered and with unlimited flight zoomed down at the beast. He fired arrows constantly at the surprised Guzzlord but this time whenever an arrow went into Guzzlord's skin Dark Pit kicked it to make the arrows go deeper into Guzzlord's thick skin.
Dark Pit: Tiring big guy well keep it up your doing great.
Guzzlord: Guzzz.
Dark pit eventually decided to fly away and let the beast tire trying to swat him while landing powerful shots from his staff. Guzzlord began stocking up energy but Dark Pit didn't seem to notice until eventually his shots weren't as effective on the bloody and bruised creature.
Dark Pit: So you want it up close biggie here.
Dark Pit dove down and kicked the beast to no affect and then a dark pulse hit him mildly hurting his arm. Dark Pit decided to do more loops and Guzzlord's arms followed snipping at him until eventually they were tangled up. Dark Pit flew up high and charged up darkness energy to strengthen his offense while Guzzlord bled. Suddenly he heard a whooshing sound and looked around only to see a meteor smash into him sending him smashing into the ground while other meteors bombed the area surrounding him and he felt a snap in his wing as a meteor hit the one trapping him. This freed him by making the two meteors break but also breaking one of his wings so he had to run.
Dark Pit saw Guzzlord perfect except for a few bloody cuts and areas with some arrows its arms couldn't reach. it was at this moment Dark Pit new he had to run away and make a new plan when suddenly Guzzlord started sucking in everything around it. Dark Pit grabbed a rock and tried to hold on but the Donphan from before was pulled forward and hit his head knocking him back only to grab onto another rock in front of Guzzlord's mouth. Dark Pitt tried to hang on and avoid Guzzlord's clamping jaws while closing his eyes thinking he would survive. Suddenly he awoke to a pain in his arm.
Dark Pit: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
When he looked 3/4ths of his arm were devoured by Guzzlord. He suddenly managed to fire his bow and arrow using his left foot and his remaining left arm. The arrow hit Guzzlord right by its eye making it close its mouth and groan. Dark Pitt tried to fly away but with a broken wing he collapsed and his unstable body slowly weakened making him drop. He knew his best chances were to fire his staff at Guzzlord but the beast used thrash knocking his staff away before hitting his body multiple times splattering blood. Dark Pitt was then almost dead as the beast picked him up and then curling its arms around him before grabbing his chin and body. Then Guzzlord used wring out pulling so hard it popped Dark Pitts head off and then used heavy slam with excitement squashing his head on the ground and then eating his body.
KO
Guzzlord happily roared before disappearing back into the wormhole looking for food somewhere else.
Results
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIYd6Xdn88U
Shock: Okay that was insanely awesome but that bite and the head twist was just uh.
Crossfire: Okay Guzzlord won because he is a lot bigger than dark Pitt and stronger first of all.
Shock: Also he was known to suck in mountains so Dark Pitt should be quickly devoured.
Crossfire: But his versatility is a whole lot greater.
Shock: The two biggest things were stockpile and Dark Pitts instability.
Crossfire: Using stockpile Guzzlord basically became an insane tank and with 233 hp and boosted defense Pitt had to play a defensive game.
Shock: But thats were Pitt lacked. Yes he could keep dodging but eventually he would get hit. Note that he can only fly forever unless his wings are hurt, nothing about dodging.
Crossfire: And due to being unstable getting hit by that crunch and losing so much blood would be insanely devastating.
Shock: Dark Pit just dug his own grave in a black hole.
Crossfire: the winner is Guzzlord
Reasoning
Guzzlord (Winner)
+Physically stronger
+Could boost stats
+could devour mountains and oceans
_Was dummer
_Was slower
Dark Pit(Loser)
_weaker
_Was just an unstable clone of Pit who would be hurt easily
+smarter
+faster
Next Time season 1 episode 2
Darth Maul enters a destroyed nightbrother camp.
A bunch of droids come to meat him with a large figure.
Maul, "So this is the beast who defeated the nightsisters".
Grevious, "So this is the animals red brother".
The droids back off meanwhile Grevious and Maul ignite their blades.
Maul vs Grevious