| Guitar Villain vs. Valhallen | |
|---|---|
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| Season 3, Episode 1 | |
| Air date | January 29, 2018 |
| Written by | I'm Lynda |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Beringel vs. Winston |
Next Batman (Thomas Wayne) vs. The Comedian |
By I'm Lynda
Guitar Villain vs. Valhallen is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Guitar Villain from the animated television series, Miraculous Ladybug, and Valhallen from the Cartoon Network animated television series, Dexter’s Laboratory.
Description[]
When the great guitar-playing villain of Rock ‘n’ Roll squares off against the Viking God of Rock it’s nothing short of Ragnarock ‘n’ Roll, Baby! Yeah!!
Interlude[]
Wiz: They rule the stage, the great guitarists of Rock ‘n’ Roll. But, when a superhero’s powers revolve around their guitar, then you have a Super-star indeed!
Boomstick: And when two guitar-toting superheroes square off, it’s going to be a ear-shattering, mind-blowing battle to the finish.
Wiz: On our left is that head banging master of Metal, Guitar Villain!
Boomstick: And, on our right is the Viking God of Rock, Valhallen!
Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Guitar Villain[]
Wiz: Jagged Stone was a Rock 'n' Roll superstar, well known as one of the greatest guitarists in the world. And when his producer began bugging him to become more like the young pop star, Mr. XY, Jagged ignored him. But, when XY dislodged Jagged from the #1 position in the charts and then began to heap scorn on him as “old school” and a “has-been” Jagged really lost his cool.
Boomstick: And, there was someone waiting in the wings, ready to pounce on all that negative emotion, the villain Hawk Moth...Yeah, I know it’s a stupid name. I mean, what would a hawk/moth look like? Sheesh!
Wiz: Actually, in French, it’s “le Papillon,” or “the Butterfly,” which actually makes more sense.
Boomstick: Anyway, this villain guy has the power to energize butterflies with dark energy, and then send them on to someone wallowing in negative emotions. When the dark butterfly, known as an “akuma” lands on the victim, it grants him or her superpowers, but also makes him or her subject to the villain. It’s a way to keep the superheroes Ladybug and Cat Noir on their toes.
Wiz: When Jagged Stone was “akumatized,” it turned him into Guitar Villain, a super-powered guitarist who is out for vengeance against Mr. XY. It also turned his guitar into a super-weapon, and it turned his pet crocodile into a fire-breathing dragon. I’m not kidding!
Boomstick: First of all, you’ve got to know that Guitar Villain is a martial arts ass-kicker. He can leap far beyond what a normal person can, can dish out and take enormous punishment, and can use his guitar as an axe.
Wiz: But, it’s in his guitar that most of his powers lie. First of all, Guitar Villain can play it, sending out sound waves that reduces any target to a head-banging, air guitar-playing zombie.
Boomstick: Second of all, he can use it to send out sound waves of force that can smash into any target, be it an opponent, or something inanimate. This rocker sent out so much power that he knocked a column over.
Wiz: And, finally, he can play to send out sonic vibrations that send everything around him vibrating, even threatening the Eiffel Tower.
Boomstick: The Eiffel Tower is Los Vegas?
Wiz: No, Paris.
Boomstick: There’s an Eiffel Tower in Paris, Illinois?
Wiz: What?! No!
Boomstick: Paris, Arkansas? Paris, Idaho? Paris, Kentucky?
Wiz: Paris, France, you hillbilly!
Boomstick: Oh, they have a Paris there too?
Wiz: <Sigh> But, while Guitar Villain’s guitar is his source of power, it is also his greatest weakness. You see, if his guitar gets broken, it will release the akuma, and draw his power away.
Boomstick: But, Paris, Maine, don’t worry too much for Guitar Villain for he has an ace in the hole, a big-assed dragon that can fly and breathe green fire!
Valhallen[]
Wiz: Norse mythology has some great characters. There’s Thor, the hammer-swinging thunder god. There’s Odin, the all-wise all-father. There’s Loki, the trickster who has toyed with everybody at one time or another.
Boomstick: And there’s Valhallen, the Norse god of ROCK AND ROLL! WOO-HOO!
Wiz: Alright, you won’t find him in Bulfinch’s Mythology, he’s a bit of a new addition to the pantheon.
Boomstick: Valhallen is something of a cross between Thor and a California surfer dude. Beneath the long, flowing blond hair beats the heart of a warrior.
Wiz: The source and key to Valhallen’s power is his “mighty axe,” his mystical guitar. He can fly on it, he can use to it launch sound attacks, he can use it to shoot energy beams, and he can even use it to collect electricity from the atmosphere and shoot it at opponents.
Boomstick: And he’s even good with his dukes. He has fought the likes of the hugely powerful She-Thing, and the superhero Major Glory.
Wiz: He’s a formidable opponent, and a formidable guitarist. Don’t underestimate his chops – they are totally righteous!
Boomstick: ROCK AND ROLL, BABY!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight []
Ladybug and Cat Noir raced across the streets of Paris, finally arriving at the Champ de Mars. The Eiffel Tower was bathed in golden light, and spotlights swept the heavens. Fantastic guitar music spilled out of the speakers, as a large crowd cheered their approval. They had come to hear Mr. XY perform, but Guitar Villain’s playing was driving the crowd to paroxysms of pleasure!
The two heroes looked up and were appalled to see the dragon, Fang, circling above the Tower. His mighty form kept sweeping through the beams of the spotlights.
Protruding from the highest reaches was a plank, and Marinette was afraid of what Guitar Villain had in mind for it. They each took a deep breath, and prepared to scale the Tower, when a new shape flew into the light at the top of a tower. It was a man, flying on a guitar!
The guitar moved in to hover before Guitar Villain and the bound Mr. XY.
“Yo, villain man, if you want to deal with a real musician, then face me. I am Valhallen, the Viking God of Rock, and I will visit Ragnarock and Roll on you!”
Guitar Villain glared over his guitar at the interloper. It was time for his revenge on Mr. XY, and he was not going to let anyone stand in the way.
“And this child called *me* a ‘has-been,’” Guitar Villain called out. “Listen, blondie, the 1980s are calling, they want their look back. Oh, that’s right, they don’t have cell phones when you’re from.”
Valhallen pointed at the other man, and said, “Thou hast truly earned thyself a righteous thrashing, evil-doer. Prepare to meet thy god...me!”
Guitar Villain laughed back at Val. “Pleased to meet you, I’m sure. Now, I would like to introduce you to my best friend. I call him, Fang.”
Suddenly, a purple dragon flew out of the darkening sky, and snapped Valhallen up in one bite.
Ladybug looked at Cat Noir, and said, “Let’s go.” Together, the two began to run up the side of the Eiffel Tower.
FIGHT! []
As he was flying along, Fang’s eye’s first crossed, and then his mouth began to strain open. Standing on his tongue, Valhallen heaved like a weightlifter, and pried the dragon’s jaws open.
“Foul wyrm, thinkest thou that you can defeat the God of Rock? Well, thinkest thou again!”
Valhallen leaped out of the dragon’s mouth, and flew off on his axe. Fang turned, and looked after the flying man. Not watching where he was going, he flew full-force into the Tower. A mighty “Crang!” sounded through the Paris night.
Valhallen flew up to the top of the Tower, and landed in front of Guitar Villain, his axe held in his hand.
“Thy wyrm is defeated, villain, and it is now thy turn to suffer my righteous anger,” he declared.
Both combatants raised their guitars. Guitar Villain shouted, “Awesome Solo!” and began playing. A stream of yellow sound waves shot out towards Valhallen.
Valhallen lifted his guitar, and began playing. Bolts of yellow energy shot out of the headstock, and shot towards Guitar Villain.
The two attack forms met in the air between the two combatants, and sizzled and dissipated.
Ladybug and Cat Noir stopped at the sound of the fantastic guitar duet, as the two super-guitarists played a heavy metal duel. The microphones on the Eiffel Tower picked up the awesome guitars, and sent the music echoing across Paris. The crowd in the Champ de Mars shouted in ecstasy as the music filled the air.
Ladybug looked down, and whispered, “whoa,” in wonder. She looked over, and Cat Noir was banging his head to the music.
Ladybug slapped Cat Noir’s shoulder, capturing his attention. She pointed up. “We have to get up there,” she told him, and the two resumed climbing.
Sweat poured off the faces of the two musicians, as they strained at their guitars. The music moved higher and then lower, faster and then slower, up the scale and then down. The roar of the crowd competed with the wail of the guitars.
Suddenly, Valhallen leaped onto his guitar, and flew off of the Tower.
Guitar Villain raised his guitar in triumph, and yelled, “That’s it, I am the greatest guitarist alive, the greatest guitarist that ever was!”
But, the sound of a guitar roared out. Valhallen had flown to the top of the tower, and run his pick across the instrument’s strings. His fingers began dancing across fretboard, his pick calling forth a mighty tune. Guitar Villain looked up in wonder.
Storm clouds rolled across the Parisian night, until the Eiffel Tower was capped with a mighty thunderhead. Mystical lights danced in the clouds, and finally a mighty lightning bolt streamed down to Valhallen, bathing him in blue-white light.
Guitar Villain shouted, “Ultimate Solo!” and began playing. Sound waves streamed out from his guitar in all direction, causing the Tower to tremble and then shake.
Ladybug and Cat Noir arrived on the top platform of the Tower, just as the structure began to sway.
“Those two are going to knock the Eiffel Tower down!” she gasped. The two heroes looked over the edge at the cheering throng of rock-and-rollers on the ground, measuring their lives in minutes!
Suddenly, Valhallen pointed his guitar down, and a stream of mystical energy arced down at Guitar Villain. The energy nimbused around him, and the man cried out in pain. His playing stopped, and Tower stopped shaking.
Guitar Villain screamed, and he was thrown backward, ending up in a heap on the steal floor. Valhallen flew down on his guitar, and landed on the platform.
Suddenly, Guitar Villain shouted in anger, and leaped up at Valhallen, raising his guitar like an axe. Valhallen lifted his own axe, and the two instruments clanged together.
The two opponents hammered and slashed at each other, as they dueled around the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Finally, Valhallen screamed, and brought his axe down in his mightiest blow. The magical Viking axe hummed through the air and made contact with Guitar Villain’s guitar. The lesser instrument snapped with a “crang,” and Guitar Villain collapsed to the ground.
Valhallen looked in amazement as a black butterfly flew up from the broken instrument.
Suddenly, Ladybug stepped out of the shadows, and said, “No more evil-doing for you, little akuma! Time to de-evilize!” She swung her yo-yo around and grabbed the butterfly out of the air. “Gotcha!”' she said, and opened the yo-yo to release a white butterfly.
Marinette giggled, and said, “Bye bye, little butterfly. Miraculous Ladybug!” She shot her yo-yo into the air, and a wave of energy swept across the Tower and all of Paris, repairing all damage. Guitar Villain shimmered and was replaced by the musician Jagged Stone.
K.O.! []
Jagged Stone pulled himself to his feet and looked at Valhallen. “Oh my God,” he gasped. “Valhallen, I am your biggest fan. Would you sign my guitar?” He held his magically restored-to-normal guitar out to Valhallen.
“Dude, I know you,” Valhallen announced. “You’re Jagged Stone. I love your work!”
The two stepped up to each other, and began talking guitars. Below the crowd started chanting, “Nous voulons plus! We want more!”
In a distant building, Hawk Moth screamed in fury, “No! Stopped by an interfering hippy! Aaaargh!”
Results[]
Boomstick: Now that’s how music should sound!
Wiz: In this battle, all of the advantages lay with Valhallen. The God of Rock has years of experience as a magical guitarist, where Guitar Villain had very little. Now, if he had more power than Valhallen, he might have been able to overpower him anyway. But, Valhallen’s power was nothing short of god-like. Guitar Villain was good, but not good enough. The winner is Valhallen!
Boomstick (playing the Star-Spangled Banner on an air guitar): Wa wa waaa WAAAA WAAAAAA WAAAAAA!
Wiz stands up, and puts his hand over his heart.
Next Time[]
Next time on Death Battle! They’re rough, and they’re tough. And, we bring them together to see just who the toughest is. Check out the battle of the century when we present Batman (Thomas Wayne) vs. The Comedian!
Trivia[]
- The Champ de Mars, English: Field of Mars, is a public greenspace in Paris that butts up against the Eiffel Tower.