Guile vs. Captain Falcon is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Guile from the Street Fighter series and Captain Falcon from the F-Zero series. This page was created by GalacticAttorney.
Description
Street Fighter vs. F-Zero! The two supersonic heavy-hitters take to the arena! Does Guile's fist go with Falcon's face, or will the Knee of Justice deliver a swift verdict?
Intro
Wiz: They're two of the most iconic heavy-hitters in the video game universe - not just for their music -
Boomstick: Or their memes!
Wiz: ...But for their intense fighting power.
Boomstick: Guile, the American soldier from Street Fighter...
Wiz: ...And Captain Falcon, the supersonic slugger from F-Zero.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick...
Wiz: ...And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
Guile
Wiz: Guile. Just hearing the name makes you think...
Boomstick: Of his fucking awesome theme! Which really does fit with everything, by the way.
Wiz: Before Guile was a Street Fighter, he was serving his country as a trainee in the US Air Force. There, he became fast friend with Charlie Nash, a fellow Air Force member, and was taught Charlie's unique fighting style.
Boomstick: But after Charlie went on an undercover op and didn't return, Guile elected to go out and find him. Eventually he tracked Charlie's footsteps to a fortress belonging to the Shadaloo.
Wiz: He found Charlie inside and they planted explosives on an energy source called the Psycho Drive, which belonged to M. Bison. After Ryu defeated M. Bison elsewhere, Bison retreated into the Psycho Drive to refuel his energy, and Charlie instructed Guile to escape.
Boomstick: Guile did as he was commanded, and as soon as he was outside... BOOM! The sanctuary was up in smoke.
Wiz: Sadly for Guile, so was Charlie. M. Bison even survived the explosion. Believing the empowered warlord to be responsible for Charlie's demise, Guile entered the second World Warrior Tournament to claim his revenge.
Boomstick: Guile's training with the Air Force makes him strong to begin with, but oh man is Charlie's combat style awesome! It specializes in powerful strikes and devastating flip kicks.
Wiz: The two most common attacks are the Flash Kick, where Guile kicks upward in a fashion similar to a Shoryuken, and the Sonic Boom, where Guile flashes his arms across each other to create a powerful, fast-moving ball of energy.
Boomstick: Sonic Boom, Sonic Boom, Sonic Boom - Save the planet from disaster!
Wiz: Wrong Sonic Boom, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Aww...
Wiz: The Sonic Hurricane is a more powerful version of the Sonic Boom, but it's concentrated in front of Guile rather than compacted into a moving ball.
Boomstick: He's also got multiple kicks! Like the Guile High Kick, the Step Kick, and the Reverse Spin Kick! Other techniques include the Spin Back Knuckle and the Knee Bazooka, the latter of which looks awfully similar to one of somebody else's attacks...
Wiz: And then there's his most powerful technique: Flash Explosion. It consists of two sets of powerful double Flash Kicks ending with a single, devastating kick.
Boomstick: Even though Guile was in the Air Force, he for some reason despises fighting with guns. Plus, his hotheadedness makes him lack proficiency, and he even turned down an opportunity to kill M. Bison because his family told him not to. What a dumbass! THAT'S THE GUY WHO KILLED YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Wiz: Even through those faults, Guile is powerful enough to combat with the likes of Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li, Eagle, and M. Bison. He's risen to the rank of Major in the Air Force and was the Air Force Fighting Champion at one point. Guile is the definition of American.
Boomstick: All except for that haircut!
Guile: Next time, try and hit me back.
Captain Falcon
Wiz: Captain Falcon is... Well, just look at him.
Boomstick: He's perfect!
Wiz: Captain Falcon was born as Douglas Jay Falcon in Port Town, a futuristic space port built by Earth in the 26th century as a harbor for interstellar trade.
Boomstick: While his past is shrouded in conspiracies and mystery, it's rumored that he's called CAPTAIN Falcon because he was once a captain in the Internova Police Force, which would also explain the gun at his side... which he NEVER USES.
Wiz: Well, it's more likely due to this: Captain Falcon is not only one of the best F-Zero pilots in the galaxy, but he's also a legendary bounty hunter. This has made his countless enemies, and he is forced to live a sheltered life so his enemies can't get to him.
Boomstick: He lives in an exquisite mansion on a chain of islands just off the coast of Port Town. The place is sweet; it's got a hot tub, a house on each island in the chain, AND built-in private racetracks exclusively for the Captain.
Wiz: But Falcon's solitude doesn't mean he's lacking in offensive techniques. His most famous attack by far is the almighty Falcon Punch, a glorious strike with a fist covered in flames shaped like a falcon.
Boomstick: He's also got the Falcon Kick, a fast-moving kick with his foot encased in fire. In the air, this move changes into a powerful flaming divekick!
Wiz: Raptor Boost allows Falcon to dash forward and deliver a strong uppercut... also covered in fire.
Boomstick: And Falcon Dive is an upward leap which, if he grabs a foe during it, allows him to launch them away with a powerful explosion. YES!
Wiz: He can even summon his racing vehicle, Blue Falcon, to slam into opponents with.
Boomstick: Although it's not an officially named move, one of his other popular attacks it his forward aerial, a knee jab with incredible power. This attack is called the Knee of Justice, and bears an uncanny resemblance to a move we just heard about...
Wiz: Captain Falcon is a deadly combination of speed and power. With his incredible athleticism, he can easily keep up with the fastest characters in his universe and, while standing on the side of good, is never afraid to get his hands dirty.
Boomstick: Because you should NEVER fuck with the Captain!
C. Falcon: Winning isn't about being lucky, it's about being bold.
Intermission
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE!
Setting: US Air Force Base (Location: Classified)
Lights and buzzers flashed everywhere in the debriefing room of the secret US Air Force base. Something was coming.
Guile, the massive soldier/Street Fighter burst into the room abruptly.
Guile: I got the call. What's this about?
One of the men at the large center dashboard glanced back at him and replied.
Technician: There's some kind of vehicle traveling at a ridiculously high velocity towards us. It's not responding to our radio contacts, so our only remaining option of contact is direct. Major Guile, you'e our best bet.
Guile processed the situation and nodded.
Guile: Understood. I'll take one of the land rovers.
The technician nodded.
Technician: Godspeed to you.
Guile turned swiftly and proceeded to the departure bay. He got into one of their high-speed land rovers ad took off, blazing across the hot sand of the surrounding terrain.
Eventually he saw what they had been talking about. There was some kind of blue vehicle blasting across the desert, much faster than anything Guile had seen before. He got out of his land rover and stood tall, waiting for the pilot of the vehicle to notice his presence.
As according to his expectations, the vehicle slowed down and pulled to a complete stop in front of Guile. It was an interesting-looking machine; blue in color and bearing a resemblance to a small jet. On the side of one of the wings, the words 'BLUE FALCON' printed on each wing in white letters.
The hood of the vehicle popped open and a man flipped from the cockpit of the vehicle and onto the ground. He wore a skin-tight red and blue suit and a fancy red helmet with a gold falcon on it.
???: What're you doing out in the middle of nowhere like this?
Guile grew uneasy. Something about this man unnerved him.
Guile: On the contrary, this area is restricted access. You're on US military soil, and unless you'd like to have yourself and your vehicle blown into tomorrow I suggest you go back where you came from.
The man scoffed.
???: I'd like to see you try, Mr... Um...
Guile frowned.
Guile: Guile. Now, leave.
The man laughed lightly before he glared back at Guile, a smirk crossing his face.
???: My name's Captain Falcon. And I think I'll just keep on my way through, if you don't mind.
Guile got into his traditional fighting stance.
Guile: Well, I do mind. Now, either leave, or face the consequences of your actions.
Falcon just smirked and clenched his fist, which sparked with flame.
C. Falcon: Show me your moves!
FIGHT!
Guile crossed his arms quickly.
Guile: Sonic Boom!
A flash of energy rippled from Guile's arms and bashed into Falcon at high speed. Guile then rushed in and hit Falcon with a Flash Kick.
Falcon recovered in the air and his foot burst into flames.
C. Falcon: Falcon KICK!
Guile was hit by the divekick, the foot slamming into his cheek. Falcon then unleashed a flash of punches at supersonic speeds, all of them bashing Guile. The soldier cried out in pain.
Falcon performed a flip kick, knocking Guile up into the air. Guile, sensing an attack, charged up his Focus Attack. Falcon leaped up into the air and tried to attack, but the strike was absorbed and Guile backhanded him with his Focus Attack.
Falcon landed on the ground, dazed by the Focus Attack. Guile landed in front of him and he crossed his arms again, this tie in a more forceful motion.
Guile: SONIC HURRICANE!
Falcon was hit multiple times by the whirlwind of energy before it dissipated, throwing him back. Falcon got up quickly and rushed forward with a Raptor Boost. Guile was uppercutted into the air, and Falcon jumped up after him. When he was by him in the air, he delivered another Raptor Boost, this time knocking him to the ground.
Guile stood up slowly, grunting from pain. He growled at Falcon, his hotheadedness taking over him. He shouted out in anger and ran at his opponent. Falcon grinned smugly and did the same.
Guile's leg flew forward in a Knee Bazooka.
Falcon's leg jutted out in a Knee of Justice.
The two attacks connected, knee meeting knee. An intense shockwave blasted out, the air around the two combatants heating up. Guile's facial expression contorted into one of strain, and Falcon's was as stoic as ever.
Eventually, everything turned white as the massive shockwave covered everything in sight.
After the light faded, a large crater was left in the sand from where the shockwave had blown it away. Guile lay on his back on the far side of the crater, his leg bleeding from the knee as a result of the immense force. The soldier slowly got back up, grimacing as his knee protested. He looked around, but didn't see his opponent anywhere.
C. Falcon: BLUE FALCON!
Guile whirled around just in time to see the Blue Falcon smash into his chest. He was forced along the desert terrain, pinned to the front of the vehicle.
Falcon set the Blue Falcon to autopilot and leapt out of the cockpit. Then he sprinted as hard as he could, outrunning the vehicle. When he was far enough ahead of it, he turned and cocked his fist back.
C. Falcon: FALCON...
Falcon's fist blasted forward just as the Blue Falcon was about to hit him.
C. Falcon: ...PAWNCH!
The incredible punch and the blazing speed of the car were too much for Guile's body to handle. His chest exploded from the massive impact, blood and bones flying everywhere. The Blue Falcon screeched to a halt as Guile's head and limbs clattered to the ground, lifeless.
C. Falcon: YEHZ!
K.O.!
Boomstick: That was the best way that could have ended.
Wiz: Guile might be slightly stronger than Falcon, but the Captain trumped him in speed and combat experience. Sure, Guile's a Major in the US Air Force, but Captain Falcon is a galaxy-wide renowned bounty hunter. It's safe to say that in that line of work Falcon deals with situations much more challenging and life-threatening than Guile.
Boomstick: Plus, Guile's hotheadedness leads him to be slightly clumsy and reckless in battle, whereas Falcon remains cool, calm, and collected the entire time. Falcon's attacks are even stronger in general! The Falcon Punch itself is enough to create LIGHTNING out of thin air!
Wiz: On average, lightning is about 53,540 degrees Fahrenheit, which is just over five times hotter than the surface of the sun. In games, the move doesn't create lightning, but instead ignites Falcon's fist instantaneously at the beginning of the move. Numbers were crunched, and the speed Falcon's fist would need to be going for this to occur would be...
Boomstick: MACH F*CKIN' TWENTY THREE!!!
Wiz: With that much power behind a fist going that fast, once Falcon landed this infamous attack, Guile didn't stand a chance against it.
Boomstick: I guess Falcon's power just took Guile's breath away!
Wiz: The winner is Captain Falcon.
