Gordon Freeman VS Heavy is a Death Battle by Sinnovalos.
Description[]
Season 1 Episode 2! Half Life VS Team Fortress! Valve's own variation of brains against brawn - is Dr Freeman's arsenal and smarts any match for the Russian Brute?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Brains against Brawn. These two categories have defined characters and rivalries throughout the history of versus debating.
Boomstick: And when all else fails, the best way to solve their differences is to have them blast the crap out of each other.
Wiz: Representing smarts and wits, we have Gordon Freeman, the Anomalous Materials scientist of Half Life.
Boomstick: And on the side of strength, we have The Heavy - the Slugging Soviet of Team Fortress. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skill to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Gordon Freeman[]
Boomstick: Gordon Freeman in the flesh. Or, rather, in a Death Battle.
Wiz: Though shy on words, the story of Gordon Freeman is one that speaks for itself and forever etched in the history of video games.
Boomstick: Gordon is from Seattle, and from being young showed talent and appreciation in Theoretical Physics. Idolising the likes of Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. He earned his Ph.D and graduated from MIT.
Wiz: His thesis was named Observation of Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen Entanglement on Supraquantum Structures by Induction Through Nonlinear Transuranic Crystal of Extremely Long Wavelength (ELW) Pulse from Mode-Locked Source -
Boomstick: Yeah, you lost us at Observation. But, panic averted; Gordon might just be the coolest nerd out there. Because he worked at Black Mesa, and thanks to an experiment gone wrong in the Anomalous Materials test chamber, Gordon was catapulted from being a scientist, to a badass alien slayer.
Wiz: The experimental crystals caused an overcharge in the test chamber, bringing Earth close to the border world, Xen, which allowed the Nihilanth to send over his forces who ran wild over the entire base of Black Mesa.
Boomstick: So naturally, Gordon had to fight his way from the under ground chamber, up through miles of the facilty before having to fight aliens and military alike, because you know, the US government aren't too fond of top secret alien testing becoming not so secret.
Wiz: The Lambda team devised a plan, a last ditch effort to send Gordon across to Xen, where he would have to fight his way through the entire alien homeworld, killing hostile resistance as he went, before slaying the Nihilanth. He was then 'offered' a job by the G-Man, with the alternate choice being certain death Gordon stepped through the portal and awaited assignment.
Boomstick: That G-Man is such a great boss too! Gordon was given extended leave following his victory on Xen, and put up in a luxurious stasis - far beyond Earth, thought and time itself? Where do I sign?
Wiz: This meant that Gordon maintained his appearance and physical form from the Black Mesa incident, and meant he missed the arrival of the Combine and the occupation of Earth. He was then reinserted into the fray to spearhead the resistance, overthrowing the invaders as a leader of the rebellion.
Boomstick: So, that's three armies Gordon has outlasted - the Combine, Xen and HECU can all suck it! And I tell ya, all that time spent in a white coat playing with crystals made Gordon something of a strategist, and warrior.
Wiz: Let's get it right, Gordon would not get too far if not for his H.E.V suit. This suit is designed to protect Gordon in hazardous environments such as extreme cold, bio-chemical spillages and radiation - for a bit at least. Sustaining damage wears at the suit's energy over time and without a charging station or battery, Gordon's defence becomes weaker and weaker.
Boomstick: He's surprisingly mobile for someone lugging about a power suit, able to leap and crouch instantly, run at reasonable pace and with the help of the Long Jump Module, he can spring about with no trouble whatsover. This was crucial for his navigation in Xen, where platforms were spaced out and gravity was weaker.
Wiz: The suit also warns Gordon when his health is worse off, bit like Senketsu, only less blood sucking or bickering. It administers morphine shots when his health is particularly low too, stabilising him for a brief while. It is, however, incapable of healing him fully the way a health kit would.
Boomstick: He's sponged direct blasts from a Gargantua's dual fire cannons. Those things disintegrate soldiers in a matter of seconds! He can also withstand bullets, electric discharges, acid attacks, explosions and being punched by Gargantuas. Again, the Garg is able to push an S.U.V into a wall with minimal effort, as well as punch through walls of rock as seen in Xen.
Wiz: Though these all still hurt Gordon as well as damaging suit power. It doesn't negate damage, it weakens it. It is very effective at helping Gordon aim though. It is built in with a built in H.U.D and lock on system. He can track opponents while they move, and even see whereabouts they are in cover. Making him pretty much impossible to dodge.
Boomstick: And you believe it, there's a lot in this arsenal you wanna avoid. He has the basics, M16 with grenade launcher, SPAS-12, pistol, crowbar, grenades and all that good shit. But he also has a Magnum, capable of dropping even the powerful Alien Grunts in 3 hits.
Wiz: Crossbows, Laser Trip Mines, his Snarks...
Boomstick: His Snarks? Aw, look at it, it's so cute...
Wiz: Funny, I actually brought one for demonstation. Here, Boomstick: catch! *Throws Snark*
Boomstick: *Snark tackles Boomstick to the floor in a cloud of smoke* Gah! Shit! Ow Wiz! Little bastard bit me! *Snark Explodes* And got alien blood on my best shoes.
Wiz: *Smirks and hands a definitely not substantial cloth to Boomstick*
Boomstick: Dick.
Wiz: Gordon also used weapons such as RPGs to bring down helicopters, tanks and basically anyone in front of him. But his most iconing gun may be the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator, a weapon that manipulates objects on the battlefield, allowing Gordon to pick them up and launch them with great force at a foe. He can also use the Zero Point Energy -
Boomstick: Look, call a spade a spade. And call the Gravity Gun just that. Please.
Wiz: The Gravity Gun can also punt foes with enough force and was the only weapon of Gordon's to survive the Citadel's Confiscation Field. Instead of being destroyed, it was Super Charged. This shorted out the field and made it basically an instant kill for any Overwatch soldiers.
Boomstick: And TF2 fans rejoiced.
Wiz: Wrong Overwatch.
Boomstick: Ah. Well, in any case, it also leaves the bodies full of electricity and essentially booby traps for anyone unfortunate enough to touch the bodies. But who could forget Gordon's Tau Cannon and Gluon Gun?
Wiz: Ah yes, the use of Depleted Uranium to create super guns capable of melting aliens and human alike. It's one of the few ways to kill Gargantuas, can disintegrate soldiers in a single shot and the Tau Cannon can even be charged up to fire through walls and knock out helicopters. Just don't let it overcharge.
Boomstick: Or what?
Wiz: Or else there won't be much left of you for me to say I told you so to.
Boomstick: I see... The problem with these guns being charged by Depleted Uranium is there isn't much of it to spare, so Gordon has to share the ammo between the two guns. Once one runs out, they both do. But there's not going to be much standing in the way once he lets loose with those babies.
Wiz: Gordon is a scary combination of brains, backed by real qualifications and extraordinary application. But he also has some serious firepower.
Boomstick: If he starts swapping the white of his lab coat for the orange of a H.E.V suit, you better get running.
G-Man: The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So wake up, Mr Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes...
Heavy[]
Boomstick: He is Heavy weapons guy. And that is his weapon.
Wiz: Mikhail didn't have it very easy. His dad, a Counter Revolutionary, was executed in 1941, leading to the capturing of Heavy, his mother and three sisters. Imprisoned, it seemed he was destined for a miserable existence in prison.
Boomstick: Luckily, Heavy proved from an early age not many problems can't be solved by being a unit, and he freed himself, his family and several other prisoners. He then demonstrated the most understandable human trait; sadistic murder.
Wiz: Heavy tortured the prison guards to death, and left the gulag in flames. Which is a pretty impressive start to life as a mercenary in training. Which, 27 years later, he would go on to begin - being recognised and brought on by Redmond Mann. Along with the other eight mercenaries, Heavy served his team faithfully in the conflict between RED and BLU, all to provide for his family.
Boomstick: His chemistry can be a little all over the place, though he is often paired with a Medic, because Valve really misguided everyone with Meet the Medic, but when used properly, this Russian beast is a menace to any who stand before him be it man, machine or bears apparently.
Wiz: Heavy is billed as a Defence class. When applied like this, his strengths are locking down particular choke points on a map as well as serving as a roadblock for control points and objectives. This approach plays better to Heavy's advantage as a slugger, rather than meeting the enemy head on where he can be a sitting duck for most of the more mobile classes like Spy, Scout and Soldiers.
Boomstick: But hey, Heavy's still the last merc you want to run into without a plan; he has numerous ways to kill you in just a matter of seconds. Not least of all his sheer strength.
Wiz: With his bare hands, he can beat any of the mercenaries to death, and even wrestled a bear in Siberia, suplexing the 1/2 ton mother of the bears killed by Scout, Pyro and Soldier. It's also hinted that this was something he did frequently, thanks to his family's mentioning of having to eat bears every single day.
Boomstick: If we're talking Heavy's forte, it has got to be close range. The man carries a heavy machine gun called Sasha. This is another sign of Heavy's power, as he lugs around the 330 pound gun with little struggle, all the time. This does come at a cost, as his movement is way off the other mercs, but what else do you expect when you carry a gun that is bigger than your actual team mates?
Wiz: That's not even accounting for when he spins up Sasha. This reduces his movements to the absolute minimum as Heavy becomes so focused on a single job at hand. But the gun really packs a punch. Each shot does 9 damage, but it fires at such a rate that the damage adds up too quickly for most to compete. Its firing speed is 2400 rounds a minute, not the initial 10,000 Heavy lies about in Meet the Heavy.
Boomstick: Who needs facts when you have a beastly minigun that cuts down teams in seconds? In any case, you probably wouldn't live long enough being shot by this thing to see how many it fires off in a minute.
Wiz: Heavy takes the recoil of this weapon tremendously well, only suffering the slowness as opposed to flinching. But, as any Heavy main will know, he sponges a lot of damage because of this situation. He can tank a lot of damage, what with his 300 health points, dwarfing that of second place Soldier's 200. But he is still vulnerable to taking additional damage through critical hits. Especially around the likes of a competent Sniper or Spy.
Boomstick: That's the thing with Heavy; loads of health means nothing when the other guy can multiply their damage with a headshot, or insta kill with a backstab. But all these weaknesses can be negated through simply not putting Heavy in stupid positions.
Wiz: Lucky for Heavy, he has a self healing factor called the Sandvich. Taking the place of his secondary weapon, the Sandvich can replenish between 50 and 75 health per bite. And can fully restore his health in just over four seconds.
Boomstick: What the fuck is in that thing? Morphine Spread? Savlon bites?
Wiz: Well, apparently it is very moist and delicious, and it appears to have ham and cheese at least.
Boomstick: Dare I ask how old those toppings are?
Wiz: Probably best you don't know, though it does restore itself if Heavy receives a medkit while fully healed. The issues with this healing item are that, one, Heavy has to release the idea of a second weapon. And then of course, Heavy is totally immobile when consuming it. He has to find cover, or risk getting his head taken off mid snack.
Boomstick: Man that sucks. Listing these drawbacks make it sound like Heavy kinda sucks, but the truth is simple; people fear this guy; that's why they have to find new ways of getting around his power.
Wiz: Heavy's final weapon is his hands. As hinted at before, Heavy wrestled a bear, which on its own would be enough to give him credit over most men, but we have seen him lose to less menacing foes as well such as when BLU Heavy was taken out by RED Scout. That said, BLU team are always shown to be a skill level beneath RED in the trailers.
Boomstick: When Heavy does get hold of his foes, he can deal 65 damage with a punch alone, and a critical hit from a punch can kill a lot of mercenaries in a single strike. Saitama may have some competition coming his way.
Wiz: In any case, Heavy's best and worst bits all come together to make for a powerful, yet predictable foe. But just because you know how to beat him, doesn't mean you should take it for granted. Man, I can't imagine how much it takes out of him to carry that gun.
Boomstick: Well, coincidence, I actually prepped a demonstration. *Holds remote*
Wiz: Really, where?
Boomstick: Up top. *Presses the button*
*Heavy's Sasha drops from the ceiling on top of Wiz, knocking him straight through the floor.*
Boomstick: That was for the snark.
Heavy: Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe *sniff* maybe. I am yet to meet one who can outsmart bullet...
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Fight[]
Location: The Lambda Core (Half Life)
"It's ready, you must go. Now!" the scientist ordered, struggling to keep the teleport stable. The energy of the machine shook the room, staggering Gordon and his accompanying Security Guard. A Controller appeared behind them, arms clasped together as electricity built up in his palms. "Look out, Doc!" the guard cried, shoving Gordon aside and raising his pistol, putting three rounds into the alien. As the Controller fell though, the electric attack came down and stunned the guard, dropping him to a knee.. "You're gonna have to go on without me." he groaned.
Gordon nodded and ran to the ladder, ready to jump through the portal. As he sprang up, a portal opened up right before him and he ran right into a screaming mercenary and the pair fell through the machine, much to the confusion and fear of the scientist behind the control pannel. He had no time to think though, as he was promptly taken out by the explosion of the overloaded systems. There was nothing left as the room fell in on itself.
Meanwhile on Xen.
Gordon and Heavy spilled onto the platforms, falling in seperate directions to one another. Gordon landed on a platform with a rock pillar for cover, Heavy landed on an empty one, flanking above Freeman. "YOU!" Heavy roared as he wound Sasha up. "Why bring me to this place?!"
Gordon equipped a new weapon, it appeared to be a Gravity Gun. It felt weirdly comfortable to use as well, like he was familiar with it. It must have been as they traveled between worlds. No time to think on it, as Heavy rained down bullets at Freeman's position.
FIGHT!
Gordon swiftly took cover, using his Gravity Gun to pull in the nearby corpse of another Lambda Team member. Heavy watched from above, his platform still offering leverage as he looked for which side Freeman would emerge from. As soon as the orange of an H.E.V suit shot left, Heavy plugged it with gunfire. Unfortunately, Gordon had used the corpse as a decoy and leapt out the other way - using his Magnum to stun Heavy with a clip on the shoulder.
Heavy backed off, and Gordon leapt after him, being whacked back with Sasha and nearly falling from the platform to the void. Gordon planted his Crowbar into the rock and held on, pulling himself up and leaping at Heavy before the merc's gun could spin up. He kicked the weapon aside, pulling Heavy with it, before swapping for his M16.
Heavy sponged the first few shots, before forcing Gordon away with more rounds. Gordon acted fast, spotting another platform coming into range and leaping out with his Long Jump Module. Heavy sprayed at him as he leapt. "COME BACK, COWARD!" he boomed, as he too tried to leap the gap. Sadly, Heavy carried much more weight, and plummeted towards a much larger, central platform.
Lucky for the Russian, another platform appeared beneath him and broke his fall. And possibly his nose along with it. The rock slowly dipped towards the central platform, and Heavy rolled on to it, finding a piece of cover and spraying at Gordon, who still orbited on his own rock. The scientist fired a grenade from the under barrel grenade launcher which blew up just beneath Heavy. The Russian, unfazed, continued spraying and caught Gordon in the leg, dropping him to a knee.
The new posture benefited Gordon though as the Freeman was able to take better aim with his next weapon, the RPG. A big red dot appeared on Heavy's forehead... "Uh oh!" he realised. "GAAAHH!" he roared, bulldozing the confused Houndeye as he ran for cover. "INCOMING!" the blast from the rocket against the wall stumbled Heavy, who dropped Sasha in the commotion, his gun laying out of cover and in plain sight for Freeman. Instead, Heavy grabbed the Houndeye and shotput it at Gordon, who was flattened by its surprising speed and nearly knocked into the void. Gordon fired a second rocket, this one much less accurate thanks to the panic of a slight mis-step, seeing the rocket wipe out a chunk of wall on the centre.
Now Heavy had Sasha back, and began to spin up his weapon, firing at the base of Gordon's rock, tipping it over. Freeman had no choice - he would need to take a leap of faith here. He sized up his jump, and leapt over the void, onto the centre and just out of Heavy's sight. He hadn't avoided him entirely though, as more blood appeared from a fresh wound on his stomach. What's more, Gordon could hear the converging merc. He grabbed his Tau Cannon and backed off, firing shots which grazed Heavy, leaving deep burns on the Russian's arm. "GAH! ENOUGH!" Heavy declared, firing up at the roof above Gordon and looking to bury the backtracking scientist. This did not work, obviously, and Gordon now had invaluable cover.
Gordon swapped back to his Gravity Gun, using it to pick some of the debris up and move it. He managed to sneak a peek on the other side and see Heavy was waiting to punch his lights out when he came through. Gordon smiled, and snuck up to a gap, feeding five Snarks through it before taking the Gravity Gun again. Heavy yelled as the Snarks bit at him, but the whimpering of the creatures told Gordon that the Russian had the upper hand in that fight. Finally, Heavy's machine gun ripped through the aliens and killed them off, leaving Heavy with yet more gaping wounds.
Using the Gravity Gun still, Gordon blasted the chunk of rocks at Heavy, bashing the Russian on the head and chest. Stunned, the merc backed away before catching Gordon mid weapon swap and punching him through the wall in the centre of their shared platform. Inside, Gordon saw a portal that needed powering; this was his way to his goal, but he needed to lose the tail first. Gordon triggered the three guides, creating the energy needed to charge the portal, then he got back to dealing with Heavy.
On the outside, Heavy had been enjoying his Sandvich, healing some of the damage up. But before he could finish, Gordon used the Gravity Gun to pull the final parts away from him. Heavy followed the food, right until it was eviscerated by the weapon's repulse. Heavy glared, reaching for Sasha, which Gordon also stole with the Gravity Gun. Annoyed, Heavy punched the Gravity Gun, snapping the end off it and rendering it useless to Gordon. He then went to punch Freeman, who was wise enough to dodge with a long jump back inside the portal room. Heavy followed him in, only to see Gordon waiting with his Gluon Gun. The weapon immediately charged up and blasted Heavy, dealing massive damage in seconds. Heavy knew he was in danger, grabbing Sasha from the ground and putting himself behind cover - trying to spin Sasha up but having no real way out as Gordon kept him boxed in.
With no real choice, Heavy fired through the rock - looking to collapse the room in on Gordon. Once the scientist saw this though, he backed towards the teleport. As it began to materialise and send Gordon to the new location, Heavy stepped out... right into a series of five Satchel Charges lay on the ground. "GAAHH!" Heavy roared, as the explosion consumed him, leaving gibbed bits to decorate the Xen cave.
Gordon arrived in the new stage of the alien world, stepping forwards before bumping something with his foot. It was Heavy's head, and proof of Gordon's first big triumph in the Border World. He quickly ran for a healing pool; as his H.E.V suit reported several fractures and instances of blood loss.
KO!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Wisely done, Mr Freeman!
Wiz: Heavy's power and self healing could certainly be an issue for Gordon at some stages in the battle, but ultimately brain overcame brawn. Naturally. Firstly, Gordon is a genius. He has a PhD, and a thorough ability to read the battlefield and solve puzzles to get him out of sticky situations. This deep and well thought out approach was far superior to Heavy's pretty straight forward approach to gunning down whatever was in range and yelling at whatever was not. On top of this, Gordon was the only one with the capability to change up tactics dramatically and on the fly through the use of several different weapons.
Boomstick: Sure, Heavy could swap between Sasha and Shotguns but both of those offer very limited approaches that Gordon could easily adjust to and overcome. He could stay out of range and use the Crossbow, RPG, Gravity Gun and Gluon Gun to finish Heavy off quickly, or he could attack from behind walls and obstacles using charged Tau Cannon shots, something Heavy would have little way of avoiding. That's not to say Heavy was totally done for; should Gordon end up in close range, he probably wouldn't achieve much before the Russian would turn him into paste with his supreme close range weapons, and his bare hands if needed.
Side Note: Gordon's Crowbar would certainly damage Heavy, but it's unlikely it would do enough to kill Heavy - with all his health - before the Merc countered. Remember, Gordon either uses the Crowbar as a last resort, or simply to break boxes.
Wiz: But this is a very unlikely scenario; Gordon has seen this type of enemy before and always knew to keep his distance until advantages presented themselves such as when he took on Gonarch, Gargantuas and Alien Grunts to a lesser extent.
Boomstick: You'd think Heavy would take the edge in durability, but turns out the doctor had him beat there, too. Gordon's H.E.V suits have helped him survive bullets, electricity, melee attacks, fire and explosives in the past. Sure, Heavy can shrug off most attacks from the mercs, but he can still be felled by a direct rocket, and I don't think he will survive weapons Gordon uses to kill alien war machines cloaked in bullet proof armour.
Wiz: Heavy couldn't even make up for this in movement. He is easily the slowest character in TF2, and even if he wasn't, Gordon's H.E.V suit has a lock on system, which tracks targets even when they are behind cover, there wasn't exactly anyhwhere for Heavy to run. If you can call that running.
Side Note: Gordon's movement is far greater thanks to the Long Jump Module, his smaller frame and his ability to navigate tighter spaces at fairly quick speeds. He is a fast swimmer, quick runner whereas Heavy shows none of these same skills.
Boomstick: The best Heavy could do was stall. If he could cut through the H.E.V suit's power, then he would be in with a reasonable shout to kill Gordon. If he could catch him. And he could use the Sandvich to undo a lot of Gordon's work, but the issue is it leaves him vulnerable, meaning he'd still be at risk as he tried to heal, or as he desperately dragged himself behind cover. Whereas Gordon's suit gives him cover with morphine administration and a constant reading on his health situation.
Wiz: In conclusion, it was only a matter of time before Gordon's brain overwhelmed Heavy's Brawn. It's just common science.
Boomstick: *Glares*
Wiz: When one is able to think tactically, rationally and logically compared to someone whose focus is mindless violence, food and guns there can only be one outcome.
Boomstick: *Cracks Wiz in the back with Gordon's Crowbar* You get Unforeseen Consequences! Heh! Been waitin' to do that a long time. Anyway, Gordon was able to give Heavy the explosive Xend off he deserved. Go on, Mr Rational Thinking; say your bit.
Wiz: *Clutching his Head and Groans* Ugh, the winner... is Gordon Freeman... *Collapses*