Description[]
MonsterVerse vs. 2010 Clash of the Titans. These two defy the laws of reality in terms of size and power, are highly destructive forces of nature, and are generally matched up on the Internet. But which one will come out on top.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Monsters. Quoting Boomstick here, "Everything's just plain cooler with 'em"
Boomstick: And to quote the Nostalgia Critic: "ZUUL, MOTHER-"
Wiz: Don't, Boomstick. The Unknowable Being WILL kill you if you curse.
Boomstick: Aw, man. He's even worse than you!
Wiz: Feeling's mutual.
Boomstick: Alright, that's it, you little--
[WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE WAIT]
...
...
...
...
[beep]
Wiz: Uh, now that that's over... let's move on.
Boomstick: Right. (ahem) Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula, The Mummy... Those were all cool monsters back in the previous years, but we're not here to talk about that. In fact, we're here to talk about the cool monsters of these years... the massive city-wrecking soil-your-britches-with-their-existence kind. Like Godzilla, the King of the Monsters from the MonsterVerse series of crossover Godzilla/King Kong films.
Wiz: And the Kraken, slayer of the Titans from the 2010 version of the tale of Perseus depicted in the Clash of the Titans.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Godzilla[]
(Cue King of the Monsters Suite)
Wiz: The-
Boomstick: -Time of the dinosaurs!?
(A clip of the T-Rex roaring from Jurassic Park is shown while the "T-Rex Song" from the Nostalgia Critic plays over it)
Singer: I'M A MOTHER-
Wiz: (interrupts Boomstick and the singer while the T-Rex Song's instrumental version continues playing in the background) No, not the time of the dinosaurs, Boomstick. The PERMIAN period. The one without the T-Rex.
Boomstick: Not the mother-
Wiz: Shut up!
Boomstick: -ing T-Rex? LAME.
Wiz: Yeah, I know. The T-Rex IS pretty cool. But sadly, we're not here to talk about it. We're going way back in time to when the atmosphere was still radioactive and massive organic lifeforms still roamed the Earth of the MonsterVerse. One of them we all know and love as Godzilla.
Boomstick: He was livin' it up, mindin' his own business-
Wiz: Actually, he had to fight a few monsters, like the alien hive mind "monster" that came from outer space known as Shinomura. One time, when Shinomura landed on Earth, Godzilla noticed him on his lawn and blasted him just for being on it.
Boomstick: Really? This stuck up little piece of- (notices Wiz glaring at him) ...crap... is even more selfish than my ex-wife!
Wiz: Alright, moving on...
Boomstick: Anyway, he was living as best a life he could until the wipeout happened when God decided, "Get outta here!" and slapped dat planet with a meteor.
Wiz: Okay, enough about that, not only did the meteor kill off the overwhelming majority of all life on the planet, but it apparently diminished the radiation levels on Earth's surface. Godzilla was used to having more radiation to feed on, so as you might expect, he did the manly thing and fled deep under the ocean.
Boomstick: But we shouldn't criticize him! All the other Alpha predators fled underground, too.
Wiz: Exactly. He reemerged in 1954 after a nuclear submarine woke him up when it reached his bedroom.
Boomstick: And like all guys do, he needed his equivalent of a Red Bull, so he looked up at all the nuclear submarines just floating around the ocean right there and probably thought "Awesome!!!" Man, why does this parallel my life so much?
Wiz: No time to wonder about that, because as fate would have it,
Kraken[]
(Cue Release The Kraken)
Wiz: Alright, before we dive in, keep in mind, the Kraken doesn't have a lot of feats or implications, so we're going to have to go off a lot of assumptions.
Interlude[]
Note: I am using strictly MonsterVerse Godzilla for this battle. Also, the usual dialogue will be added to this later.
Death Battle![]
Note: Though my conclusion still remains the same, with maybe some editing, the battle itself is currently being rebuilt and expanded because I wasn't satisfied with the original product. So don't be surprised if this segment is rather short at the moment. San Francisco, 2014
(Cue Godzilla 2014 Soundtrack - Godzilla's Victory)
It seemed to be an average day in San Francisco. The skyscrapers were towering, gleaming behemoths as always.
Well, the only thing that ruined it was the plume of smoke and the giant bipedal lizard with the dorsal plates and the long tail walking right into the ocean.
Godzilla was satisfied. He had just rid the world of those M.U.T.Os. His mission was accomplished. And now, he was going to rest in the ocean until the world needed him again. But... what was that disturbance in the water?
The aforementioned disturbance seemed to be an octopus-like creature with massive, waving tentacles about 60 feet away. Godzilla didn't plan on exerting more of his energy on a creature that didn't seem threatening–the MUTOs were a legitimate threat because of their reproducing threatening the planet–and didn't seem quite the size of Titans, so he was deciding to turn around and let it live–
Wait a second, why is it's head rising and shifting?
Godzilla realized he was mistaken about his initial assessment when the creature seemed to transform into a whole turtle-like humanoid upper body with claws, with the head looking like a modified (mutant?) Dunkleosteus's with sharp teeth. It turned out to be a much bigger and more dangerous being than it had initially seemed to be–and one that Godzilla had never seen even during the Permian period when the Titans still roamed the Earth.
Unbeknownst to him, this creature was known as the 2010 Clash of the Titans Kraken.
The Kraken finished rising from the water and then looked at its surroundings, to look at Godzilla. There was nothing but pure rage and bloodlust turning its eyes into miniature bonfires, no gleam of intelligence anywhere in there. Then the Kraken's eyes traveled beyond Godzilla's shoulder to the city behind him, and it let out a hungry growl, which grew louder and louder, before the Kraken cut it off to draw in a massive breath, almost sucking a few seagulls into the gigantic, toothy maw. It thrust its head forward and roared at Godzilla, stirring the ocean below it with the force of the roar and deafening a small amount of everyone in the city as well as shattering some of its windows.
Godzilla realized that this creature was nothing but a primal beast, and had probably been controlled by some greater power, but it apparently was freed from it given that it seemed to be acting on its own now. It seemed to him that the creature only knew a desire to kill and destroy, and as a result would rampage across the world, leaving a massive trail of destruction, until there was nothing left to destroy. He concluded that the Kraken was yet another threat to nature itself, like the MUTOs, and nature needed him to kill the Kraken.
He sighed inwardly. As much as he had been hoping to avoid this, his blissful sleep would have to wait a little while longer.
The two monsters stared each other down before once again sucking in breaths and roaring at each other, as if the people weren't deaf yet, and after that, charging at each other, tsunamis swirling in the ocean where they passed.
FIGHT!
(Cue Death Battle: Draconic Robotics)
Their bodies collided, and a shockwave exploded out from the impact where they met, kicking up ocean waves that swamped the smaller buildings of the city and brushed the feet of the skyscrapers that reached up to the sky. The two stepped back from each other, before Kraken reacted first. It leaned forward towards Godzilla and pushed off with its legs, throwing its body forward in an attempt to tackle Godzilla to the ground, only for Godzilla, thinking quickly, to step backward and open his jaws, the Kraken's neck falling into them. The two nearly fell in due to the Kraken's momentum, but Godzilla only fell to his knees in the ocean before regaining his balance and holding the Kraken's head up with his arms. Seeking to end the fight quickly, Godzilla attempted to twist its neck until it snapped, but it was proving to be harder than he expected, even though the Kraken's blood was in his mouth and its surprised shriek rended the air, and that gave enough time for one of the Kraken's flailing claws to catch on to one of the gills on the side of Godzilla's neck and rip out a huge chunk. Blood sprayed in a massive red geyser from the wound as Godzilla recoiled in pain, giving the Kraken the opportunity to wrench itself free and use one of its claws to strike Godzilla in the face. More blood leaked from the large red scars on Godzilla's face as he was forced back with the force of the hit.
Godzilla stopped himself and stepped toward the Kraken again, only for one of its tentacles to whip around and slam into Godzilla's chest, creating another shockwave in the air and pushing him backwards again, even managing to nearly knock him off his feet. As he was steadying himself, the Kraken rushed towards him once again and clamped its jaws around Godzilla's shoulder, creating more blood waterfalls. Godzilla roared in pain and attempted to dislodge the Kraken's jaws and shove it away, but the Kraken managed to topple Godzilla into the water, where he landed with yet another explosion of water that kicked up more waves and then use its bulk to pin him down while it bent its neck down at his head and bellowed in his face.
Godzilla thought quickly. If he couldn't overpower his opponent physically, then it was time to use his iconic move. One that the Kraken would certainly not expect from a creature that looked so...mortal and unremarkable. He had to charge it up to actually use it, though, but that didn't matter. He already had a plan fermenting in his mind; he would sit there and let the Kraken distract itself with its unstoppable rage while he readied it.
During his train of thought, the Kraken finished its scream, then raised its claws and began a mindless rage-driven beatdown on Godzilla with its claws. It didn't care that Godzilla was just floating there in the ocean with a suspicious lack of resistance, and it didn't care that he also had his front positioned directly up toward the sky, as if he were hiding his back and something that was happening on it. All it knew was a mindless desire to tear its opponent to shreds.
And that's why it was caught completely by surprise when a bright blue/cyan beam suddenly exploded out of Godzilla's mouth. The world went white as the beam hit its face with the force of several nuclear bombs, nearly blinding it in addition to completely blinding the people who were deaf already. It screeched, more in surprise than pain, as it had endured the planet-destroying fires of Kronos, and lunged backward off of Godzilla as it tried to cover its face to block out the beam. It succeeded in blocking out the beam, but not the fire.
The beam mercifully cut off, but the damage was done. The Kraken continued to stumble backward as it recovered from the unexpected attack from Godzilla. That left it open for a vicious tail-whip from Godzilla that slammed into its chest and lifted whatever legs it had off the unseen ocean floor. It spiraled away into the ocean and kicked up even more enormous waves when it slammed into the unseen ocean floor.
K.O.!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Now woah, woah, woah, let's put the pitchforks and torches down and hear why the Kraken won like civilized people.
Wiz: Now, it may seem that Godzilla would obviously win on the surface, as he had much more onscreen feats, while the Kraken essentially came in, destroyed a building, and got Medusa'd by comparison. But then, you may ask, why did the Kraken win if Godzilla had much more feats, hax, and Burning Godzilla? Not to mention he was smart enough to figure out the M.U.T.Os' weaknesses while the Kraken was a mindless, primitive-brained beast by comparison? Godzilla may have the superior intelligence, hax, and a stronger form, and he may have much more feats onscreen, but in terms of physicality itself, the Kraken... is simply far too powerful.
Boomstick: The 2010 Clash of the Titans movie states that Hades created the Kraken to slay the Titans, whom the Gods were in war against. It was implied that the Kraken helped the Gods against the Titans, and the Titans would obviously include Kronos, since he's the king of the Titans.
Wiz: In the 2010 movie's sequel, Wrath of the Titans, Hephaestus the smith god states that if Kronos is let loose, he would have enough power to scatter the Earth over the universe. Since Kronos had never been sealed away at all up until the Gods, he was likely in his "let loose" state at the time of his war with the Gods and therefore we can scale the Kraken to him. According to William Mook, specialist in Assisted Bob Laughlin Energy & Aerospace and Aeronautical Engineering from Stanford University, something similar to "scattering the Earth over the universe" means the debris would have to have a hyperbolic excess velocity greater than escape velocity at 1 AU around the Sun. This requires 5.7*10^33 Joules, or 5.7e+33, which is equal to 1,362,332,695,984 teratons. Sure, tanking the Permian Extinction Meteor is impressive, but that would only bring Godzilla's durability up to 28 teratons according to this calc, and heck, maybe not even that, since it wasn't a direct impact. Not only that, but since the Kraken helped the Gods against Kronos, it likely had to have its attack potency scale to its durability in order to be of any actual help, but since Olympus includes 12 gods plus Hades, it's illogical to think that it can also strike with the same amount of power. So, the maximum number that we can divide the number, adding the Kraken to the 13 gods, would ultimately be 14, but that would just result in 97,309,478,284 teratons, still far stronger than Godzilla. Even if we scale the Permian Extinction Meteor to the real KT Meteor event of 100 teratons, it would still look like an utter joke in the face of 97,309,478,284 teratons.
Boomstick: "But Wiz, Godzilla would outsmart the Kraken or overcome its enormous durability/attack potency advantage with his atomic breath, radiation streams, and thermonuclear pulses!"
Wiz: Not true. King Ghidorah, a being who, via scaling, is far less durable than the Kraken, withstood extended periods of being blasted by the atomic breath, so most likely the Kraken would shrug it off. Next, the radiation streams. The Kraken has withstood 1,362,332,695,984 teratons from Kronos's attacks, so while it would likely keep it away and give Godzilla a bit of breathing room, it wouldn't actually hurt the Kraken. Finally, the thermonuclear pulses. Not only would the Kraken, due to withstanding hits from Kronos, be not hurt by the thermonuclear pulses, Kronos's pyrokinesis and massive waves of lava that he ejects from his arms plus the utter lack of burn marks or singed flesh on the Kraken's body in its debut means that the Kraken wouldn't be affected by the fiery/thermonuclear attacks of Burning Godzilla, so both of those practically guaranteed the Kraken's survival. As for intelligence-wise, not only will the Kraken not be affected by any tactic/strategy Godzilla enacts due to its durability, but Godzilla doesn't even enact tactics or strategies most of the time and relies mostly on his instincts.
Boomstick: "But Wiz, Medusa's head, something weaker than Kronos, took out the Kraken. Wouldn't that mean your planet-level durability feat is irrelevant?"
Wiz: I'm glad you asked! See, anyone who meets Medusa's gaze is turned to stone, so Medusa's stone-turning ability ignores durability. The Kraken had no counter against durability-ignoring attacks, but Godzilla was too haxless to exploit that weakness. Meanwhile, Godzilla has a totally exploitable weakness in the form of his gills being somewhat softer and more vulnerable to harm than the rest of his body as he was shown to recoil in pain when they were targeted by missiles, as he likely will when the Kraken scratches them.
Boomstick: "But Wiz... why can't Godzilla do his Death Kiss and blow the Kraken up from the inside?"
Wiz: For the very same reason Godzilla's atomic breath, radiation streams, Burning Godzilla-like form, and intelligence advantage are useless against the Kraken: its sheer durability and strength advantages. The Kraken would most likely survive the Death Kiss. So, Godzilla had the intelligence, hax/techniques advantages, and a stronger form, but they were worthless in the face of the Kraken's sheer durability and strength advantages.
Boomstick: When Godzilla's neck Krakened, he realized he wasn't the King of this matchup.
Wiz: Boomstick, why can't you take five minutes and learn a good pun... anyways, the winner is the Kraken.
Next Time[]
Trivia[]
- Transformers Bay-verse vs Titanfall-verse is actually the first fight article that Dark created, and this was the second, but he ultimately decided to finish this first and make it the first episode, given that it was too lengthy writing down all those characters and feats.