| Giorno vs Rey | |
|---|---|
| |
| Season | N/A |
| Season Episode | N/A |
| Air date | N/A |
| Written by | Bad-idea1203 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous N/A |
Next N/A |
Description[]
These are the children of the most evil, terrifying tyrants that now fight for good.
Introduction[]
Dr. Grean: We don't know how, but some of the people who cause the most destruction and chaos in the world have created some of the most powerful heroes in the galaxy.
Spitweasel: Well, either overly powerful or kind of boring.
Dr. Grean: Not someone like Giorno Giovanna, the bastard child of Dio Brando and Jonathan Joestar.
Spitweasel: And Rey Palpa-- Wait, wait, wait. Dio AND Jonathan?!
Dr. Grean: It's not what you think.
Spitweasel: And Rey Palpatine, the granddaughter of Emperor Sidious.
Dr. Grean: For this battle, we are not including the ghosts-of-Jedi-past thing from Rise of Skywalker as that isn't explained very well in the film. I'm Dr. Grean and this is Spitweasel.
Spitweasel: And we gotta a find out who has the tougher armor, better skills and more badass weapons in this episode of DEATH BATTLE!!
Giorno Giovanna Has A Dream Of DEATH BATTLE![]
Dr. Grean: Whereas we've covered a lot of bad fathers on this show, almost none compare to that of DIO Brando.
Spitweasel: Well, no shit. He killed Kakyoin, decapitated his own adopted brother AND banged some Italian bitch without leaving her his phone number! Who does that?!
RoaringRexe
Dr. Grean: Well, it wasn't the fact that he did it that makes this story so tragic, its the fact that the woman he banged didn't care for the bastard child she gave birth to because she, "didn't want her son to keep her from having a good life." What a bitch!
Spitweasel: This kid was known simply as Haruno Shiobana in Japanese, but when his mom married an Italian, his name was changed to Giorno Giovanna and his life started getting better...ish.
Dr. Grean: After coming home from school, he came across a man being hunted by gangsters. Giorno magically hid the man from the people who were after him. After that, Giorno's life got slowly better thanks to the gangster he saved. In short, the gangster was more of a father-figure than his actual father.
Spitweasel: Wait, how did Giorno save him?
Dr. Grean: Giorno saved him with a power called a Stand, a being made of his psychic energy named Gold Experience that has incredible powers and abilities. At age 15, Giorno made his way in the world by becoming a Gangster Superstar much like the man he saved.
Spitweasel: So what does Gold Experience do?
Dr. Grean: Gold Experience has many similar powers that all other Stands have such as:
- Super strength,
- Super speed,
- Phasing
- And extreme precision.
Spitweasel: And the ability to summon a kickass theme song.
Dr. Grean: That's a given, especially if you live in the world of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.
Unbacked0
Spitweasel: But there's no other theme song as popular as Giorno's theme. Other powers Gold Experience include:
- The Life Giver: This is a power that causes Giorno to turn inorganic objects like money, pens and bullets into creatures such as butterflies, snakes and beetles. Those little bastards can be carried by Giorno to protect himself and if they get hit, the attacker will get hurt. Kind of like a, "I'm rubber you're glue, everything bounces off of me and sticks to you."
- The Life Shot: With this power, he can amplify his opponent's thought process, causing them to become disoriented and uncoordinated. Another side effect is that the Life Shot can increase the person's senses, making them more susceptible to pain that will last longer than normal.
- Transformation: Now this power is weird as fuck. Giorno can turn objects into... Here's an example: Giorno get's stabbed a lot with a knife, cutting up his guts into bloody hell. This power turns the knife into the muscles, organs, skin and blood vessels that the knife cut up. This also applies to other things that could damage Giorno's body and unlike Josuke with his Stand, Giorno can actually heal himself with a shitload of pain.
Dr. Grean: Finally, we come to the High Potential Versatility. This is a power that unique that allows Giorno to create plants out of wood from tables and can even accelerate the life of a plant or de-age the life of plants.
Spitweasel: Alright, these are some cool powers and here's what he's done with them: He--
Dr. Grean: Who said we were done?
Spitweasel: We're not?
Dr. Grean: No. After being given the the Requiem Arrow, Giorno stabbed himself, changing Gold Experience into Gold Experience Requiem. This Stand is far more powerful than before, with the addition of another power known as the Nullification of Cause and Effect.
Der Purple Ist Dank
Spitweasel: Huh?
Dr. Grean: In the words of Hirohiko Araki, Gold Experience Requiem can, "Revert will and action of the enemies to zero." For example, if someone threw a punch at Giorno, G.E.R. would rewind the intention, willpower and action of said punch back to when the intention, willpower and action to the beginning, or point zero.
Spitweasel: So Giorno can reverse time?
Dr. Grean: Actually, it's not time reversal, but similar. Time reversal requires everything except Giorno to be reversed whereas this would only effect the person attacking Giorno. Much like this: Try and hit me.
Spitweasel: NO!
Dr. Grean: Close enough. Gold Experience Requiem.
!ON :lesaewtipS
Wait, what just happened?!
Dr. Grean: With all those powers, abilities and G.E.R. by his side, Giorno has made himself a terrifying crime boss after he:
- Replaced his gouged out eye with a new one made by his Stand,
- Tricked Polpo into shooting himself in the head with a banana,
- Disinfected himself of Purple Haze's virus on the spot,
- Discovered the weakness of the Grateful Dead,
- Re-healed bullet wounds from Narancia's Stand Aerosmith,
- Survived being deflated by Soft Machine,
- Survived being crushed by the Clash,
- Took down Green Day and Baby Face all alone,
- Helped Fugo defeat the Man in the Mirror,
- Revived Bruno Buccellati,
- Trapped Diavolo in a never ending loop of living and dying over and over again in an infinite number of ways,
- Defeated Bruno Buccellati, Cioccolata, Black Sabbath, Baby Face and Diavolo.
Spitweasel: So he trapped Diavolo in a loop where he'll die over and over again even though he's dead right now?
Dr. Grean: Yes... Kind of. Well, in this situation, Diavolo died an infinite number of ways in that time... It's kind of hard to explain.
Spitweasel: Okay. I've got a few more questions if you're interested.
Dr. Grean: Sure, what?
Spitweasel: How big is Gold Experience's Range?
Dr. Grean: Not very large, about two meters.
Spitweasel: What about weaknesses?
7 Page Muda English Dub but I fixed the audio (hopefully)
Bad-idea1203
Dr. Grean: Some weaknesses include: Any damage that Giorno takes, Gold Experience has to also take. Gold Experience is weaker than other Stand such as Crazy Diamond and Star Platinum in terms of power and the Life Giver can only create small animals such as snakes and beetles, but not larger animals.
Spitweasel: Any others?
Dr. Grean: He tends to be risky and nearly gets killed with every risk he takes. And he can't just turn Gold Experience into G.E.R. on the fly. He has to use the Requiem arrow to do so. In fact, the Arrow has a mind of it's own and must choose to give his Stand the powers that it gains as G.E.R. if Giorno has a strong desire to do so.
Spitweasel: Like a desire for me to find out how his hair work!
Dr. Grean: I have little to no idea how his hair looks like a bunch of donuts but it bugs the hell out of me.
Death Battle sees the Future of Rey Palpatine![]
Blue Midnight04
Dr. Grean: There is no one in the entire world who won't say that the Star Wars universe is one universe that is unlike any other.
Spitweasel: Yeah... Have you seen High Republic? That's is creativity being flushed down the shitter right there.
Dr. Grean: Let's not go there please. On the far away planet of Jakku, lived a girl named Rey, who worked as a scavenger collecting scrap to sell and survive.
Spitweasel: But thanks to the most incredibly contrived plot device named BB-8, he came to her with a piece of a map to find Luke Skywalker, who had disappeared.
Dr. Grean: Deciding to give it to the Resistance to aid them in their fight against the First Order, Rey found the Millennium Falcon and escaped from First Order troops.
Spitweasel: Spoiler alert, she got caught by the First Order's only Force Sensitive Sith: Kylo Ren. But then he tried to enter her mind and something happened. Turns out Rey is able to use the Force!
Dr. Grean: What is the Force you ask? Well, the Force is a energy field that holds the universe together. This gives Rey the powers of:
- Telekenisis,
- Telepathy,
- Healing,
- Increased jump,
- Force lightning,
- Control over animals
- And the power to see the future.
Spitweasel: So wait, why is she force sensitive?
Dr. Grean: Well, it turns out that she was the granddaughter to none other than Darth Sidious, A.K.A. Emperor Palpatine.
Spitweasel: Wait what?!
Dr. Grean: To be fair, actually she was the daughter of Palpatine's clone, who still died.
Spitweasel: That still doesn't make this any less weird!
Dr. Grean: Come on, the Force lightning wasn't a dead giveaway?
Spitweasel: Good point. Wait, didn't Count Dooku have force lightning? And wouldn't have Darth Vader been able to use Force lightning if it weren't for that suit?
SuperSaiyan2Link
Dr. Grean: Maybe. Who knows? Moving on, Rey is not only skilled in using the Force, but she also has mastered:
- Using a lightsaber,
- Using her staff,
- Hand-to-hand combat,
- Has expert marksmanship,
- Engineering,
- Piloting,
- Multilingualism
- And she even has Force Dyad powers.
Spitweasel: The hell is a Force Dyad?
Dr. Grean: It's where two Force sensitive beings can stack up their power together so that they're in sync.
Spitweasel: Seriously? That's how it works?
Dr. Grean: But for this battle, Rey has no outside help so the Force Dyad is out of the question here.
Spitweasel: Obviously. So, taking a look at all the crazy batshit stuff that she's done, Rey has:
- Overpowered a former Stormtrooper without any use of the Force,
- Taken down Kylo Ren with a lightsaber in their first encounter,
- Mastered the Jedi mind trick without training,
- Lifted hundreds of rocks with the Force,
- Out flew several TIE Fighters,
- Overpowered Luke Skywalker in training,
- Accidentally found her connection to the Force,
- Resisted Snoke's attempt to control her,
- Built her own lightsaber,
- Sneaked into Kylo Ren's quarters without being seen,
- Defeated hundreds of mercenaries, bounty hunters and First Order troopers,
- Stalemated Kylo Ren in getting Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber,
- Knocked out two thugs with her staff,
- Overpowered Kylo Ren AGAIN with her telekinetic hold on a lightsaber,
- Destroyed and rebuilt a cliff,
- Took a close-range explosion,
- Still used her arm after being shot in the shoulder
- And became a full fledged Jedi Knight after the end of this whole thing.
Dr. Grean: Rey is a very powerful Jedi, far more powerful than others, but not all of them.
Spitweasel: What?
Dr. Grean: You... didn't know that?
Spitweasel: They made her out to be one of the most powerful Jedi EVER. Everybody loves her, she does everything right and she's not the most powerful Jedi?!
Rey Kills Palpatine - Star wars- The Rise of Skywalker - MOVIE CLIP
Bad-idea1203
Dr. Grean: Well, she's not as experienced as Darth Vader, Palpatine or even Luke. Hell, she's not even fully trained in the Force and Lightsaber training!
Spitweasel: Wait a second, doesn't the Jedi Mind Trick only work if someone is pretty stupid?
Dr. Grean: That's usually how it works. Plus, she was killed!
Spitweasel: WHAT?!
Dr. Grean: ...By Palpatine when she tried to deflect his lightning but was brought back to life thanks to Kylo Ren, killing him instead.
Spitweasel: Seriously?
Dr. Grean: While, she's not the most powerful Jedi she is a very powerful Jedi in her own right.
Pre Battle[]
Dr. Grean: Okay, the combatants are set and we've calculated the data to find our winner.
Spitweasel: ITS TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
(Rey pilots the Millennium Falcon across space when she suddenly felt a disturbance in the Force that nearly knocks her off course. She looks at BB-8.)
Rey: What was that?
(She taps into the Force again and feels the disturbance, directing her to Earth. Floating down to Italy, she tries to find a place to land.)
Rey: My goodness, how does anyone even land here? They must have landing strips in another place. BB-8, keep watch and make sure no one steals the ship. That's the last thing I need right now.
(Stepping out of the Millennium Falcon, she sees a group of people including Guido Mista staring at her in disbelief. Mista leaves the crowd and goes to warn Giorno. Confused Rey addresses the crowd.)
Rey: What? Haven't any of you seen a starcrusier? Nevermind, I've got work to do.
(Walking through the crowd of people, she heads to where the disturbance in the Force came from, meanwhile BB-8 starts electrocuting people preventing them from touching the ship. Rey walks through the streets of Italy, seeing all of the unique architecture that the city has to offer. She then comes across a large building where she senses another disturbance and deduces that the building must contain what caused the disturbance in the force. Walking in, she then sees Mista fire his gun at her. She melts the bullet with her lightsaber and jumps at Mista when a thunderous voice silences the battle.)
Giorno: ENOUGH.
(They both look up to see Giorno Giovanna standing at the top of the stairs with a pissed off look on his face. He walks down the stairs, slowly.)
Giorno: Now, just who are you?
Rey: I am Rey, a Jedi Knight who has sensed your disturbance in the Force.
Giorno: Hmm. Well, I must be off so go be a waste of someone else's time, but not mine. Mista, go out and find Trish. She was at the local market last I heard.
(Mista leaves and Giorno continues to walk down the stairs.)
Rey: I wasn't finished!
Giorno: You were finished the moment you walked through the door.
( He passes Rey who pulls out her lightsaber and struck Giorno in the back, but then she feels a large burning pain in her back. It was almost like her lightsaber sliced her in the back.)
Giorno: Fine. If it's a fight you want,
(He summons Gold Experience.)
it's a fight you will get!
FIGHT!!!
(Rey heals her wound as a snake slithers out of Giorno's suit. He sets it down on the table as the snake turns into a paperweight. Confused, she goes in for another attack with her lightsaber but then feels a punch land in her face. Gold Experience uppercuts Rey up the stairs, but then she jumped down to attack Giorno with her blue lightsaber. Giorno picks up the paperweight and turned it back into a snake, coming in contact with the lightsaber and burned Rey's back again. She healed her back and senses Gold Experience's punches and goes to cut the Stand in half. But Giorno then has Gold Experience dodge her attack, causing her to slice the table in half.)
Rey: You know what? Forget it.
(She holds her hand up and starts to use the Force choke on Giorno, who doesn't understand what's going on. In confusion, Gold Experience starts punching Rey, first nailing her right in the nose, then started beating down on her. Rey swings her lightsaber and manages to slice off Gold Experience's arm and by extension, Giorno's arm. The arm falls to the ground and Giorno wastes no time in picking it up, but before he can reattach it, Rey uses the Force and launches him out of the building. She follows suite and chops off her legs with her lightsaber and goes in for the kill, but then she suddenly sees something launch out from underneath her. She is sent into the air and lands to find a tree where she stood.)
Rey: What kind of connection do you have with the Force?!
Giorno: What's the Force? Is that the name of your Stand?
(He distracts Rey long enough to grab his legs and reattach them both. Rey then starts to Force choke him again, but he has an idea. Giorno presses his hand against a nearby wall made of wood and uses his Stand to create a tree that uses its roots to tie up Rey and Giorno escapes, finding his missing arm.)
Giorno: Damn, she's tough. But where is her Stand?!
(After reattaching his arm, Giorno summons Gold Experience again and uses the Life Shot on Rey. She reacts by swinging her lightsaber faster than ever and all over the place, but then she suddenly gets punched in the leg by Giorno's Stand, the pain in her leg increased more than it normally would causing Rey to panic. Falling to her knees, Rey suddenly felt feelings of evil, darkness and terror as if she was being tempted by the Dark Side of the Force, except worse than ever. Giorno takes this as an advantage.)
Giorno: Worthless fool.
(Rey picked up her lightsaber and went to attack again.)
Rey: That's it! This is over!
(Gold Experience suddenly punches Rey in the face, which leads to a hurricane of punches that cracked a few of her rids and broke one of her arms as her skin got heavily brused.)
Gold Experience: MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!!
MUDA!!!
(The final punch Gold Experience hits Rey so hard that she crashes into a wall as Giorno sighed and walked away.)
Rey: I... Refuse...
(Using the Life Shot to her advantage, she used the amped out Force healing on herself to fix all of her injuries. She jumped up and held out her hand. On board the Millennium Falcon, Rey's other lightsaber flies out and catches Giorno's attention as it lands in Rey's hand. Jumping out of the debris, she armed herself with both lightsabers, one blue and the other yellow.)
to fail!
(With no other options, Giorno pulled out the Requiem Arrow.)
Giorno: And I... Giorno Giovanna, have a dream!
(Stabbing himself in the chest, the Arrow slowly traveled to the head of Gold Experience, changing the Stand to Gold Experience Requiem. Giorno smiled as Rey rolled her eyes as she wasn't able to see G.E.R. at all. They both ran at each other, ready to kill the other with little to no fucks to give. Jumping into the air, Rey pointed both lightsabers at Giorno, ready to kill him. Giorno felt the pain of both lightsabers stabbing him in the shoulders, beginning to cut his arms off. G.E.R. then activated Nullification of Cause and Effect, reversing the damage done to Giorno's body, reversing Rey's actions, motive and willpower. Before she could do it again, G.E.R. punches Rey in the chest, disarming her of one of the lightsabers. Before Giorno could make another move, she held up her hand and blasted a gigantic bolt of Force Lightning, to which Giorno repeats the Nullification of Cause and Effect. After Rey's attack is reversed again, Giorno uses G.E.R. to break her arm without remorse. She falls back and with one lightsaber in hand, she closes her eyes and trusts in the force again. Her arm fixes itself as she has a vision of the future and the power of Nullification of Cause and Effect.)
Rey: Your dream is over!
(Pulling the other lightsaber back to her other hand, Rey closes her eyes and charges at Giorno. He uses G.E.R. to attack her but then Giorno flies into the air and crashes into a car. Climbing out, he attempts to use Nullification of Cause and Effect only to be bombarded by tons of debris, forming a giant ball of broken brick, wood and metal around Giorno. Rey smiles at her handiwork while Giorno is furiously pissed. But then, G.E.R. suddenly has an idea to free Giorno as the wood in the ball suddenly sprout tree roots and grab Rey's arms and legs. This doesn't phase her in the slightest until she looks at her hands and notices her skin is becoming grey and wrinkly. Her hair started turning grey! Giorno was going to accelerate her age until she died!)
Giorno: You have nothing to combat the power of Gold Experience Requiem!
(Panicking, Rey suddenly has an idea as she places both of her hands together and began to create as much force lightning possible. Blasting at the ball with Giorno in it, he uses Nullification of Cause and Effect without knowing it and reverses Rey's aging and the ball of debris around him. Confused, he can't feel control over his mind or his body. Rey stands before him, giving him a lightsaber. He opens the lightsaber, revealing the golden blade. Without control of himself, he attempts to attack G.E.R. but this doesn't work. So to cut the crap, Rey decapitates Giorno obliterates his body to nothing. G.E.R. Still exists and goes to attack her again only for Rey to turn around and uses the Force to take control of the Requiem Stand. The Stand fades away as the Requiem Arrow falls to the ground and she picks it up. The disturbance in the Force is gone now and she smiles as Rey walks back to the Millennium Falcon.)
K.O.!!!
Post Battle[]
Spitweasel: HOW? HOW?!
Im secretly batman
Dr. Grean: Just calm down already. Look, in layman's terms: The Force is universal, eternal. It's what held the universe together for millennia. A Stand is only able to do as much as it can.
Spitweasel: Oh yeah? How did Rey get past the Nullification--
Dr. Grean: Let's just shorten it to N.C.E. Okay, if Rey came across this power in the fight, she would use the Force to read her opponent's mind and see how G.E.R. and even how the power of N.C.E. worked.
Spitweasel: But what stopped Giorno from aging her to death?!
Dr. Grean: Rey's use of the Force allowed her to enter his mind and find out about his powers. She could control Giorno's abilities from his mind, forcing her to do what she wanted.
Spitweasel: What stopped him from using N.C.E. on her then?!
Dr. Grean: If she had control of Giorno's mind at that point, how could he reverse it?
Spitweasel: Well... Oh.
Dr. Grean: You see? Even if Giorno could beat Rey in his mind, she would still beat him because of her connection to the Force. As we've said, THE FORCE IS UNIVERSAL. This made Rey faster, heal quicker and think smarter. Rey's connection to the Force could probably done more damage than Giorno could cause. Unless we used G.E.R. from one of the many light novels who survived the destruction of 36 universes, Giorno didn't have a chance. Literally.
Spitweasel: I think you mean Giorno didn't have a Stand!
Dr. Grean: Oh my fucking God. The winner is Rey Palpatine.