Gideon Gleeful VS V.V. Argost is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Gideon Gleeful from Gravity Falls and V.V. Argost from The Secret Saturdays. This page was created by Timpack and is his fortysixth written Death Battle. The next battle is Himeno VS Perona while the previous one was Void Volks VS Kendo Rappa.
| Gideon Gleeful VS V.V. Argost | |
|---|---|
| Season | 4 |
| Season Episode | 1 |
| Air date | February 16, 2024 |
| Written by | Timpack |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Void Volks VS Kendo Rappa |
Next Himeno VS Perona |
Description[]
Gravity Falls VS The Secret Saturdays! These combatants might have the entire world fooled by using the media to their advantage for publicity but the host of Weird World and the “psychic” performer of the Tent of Telepathy are no strangers to using whatever means necessary to fulfill their goals. With both dealing with magic or creatures believed to be myths on a regular basis; who would win in a fight? Argosts Cryptids or Gideons magical artifacts?
Intro[]
Wiz: Don’t trust everything you hear on TV. Be suspicious of those that don’t show their true self when in front of a camera. These 2 statements are probably things you have been told multiple times at several point in your life if entertainment makes up a huge part of said everyday life.
Boomstick: Yeah most celebrities you see on TV aren’t usually as nice and clean as they make themselves look to the world unlike me and Wiz who are paragons of everything righteous. Two entertainers in particular fits this description like a well-worn glove.
Wiz: Their way of controlling their audiences with words hides the power-hungry monsters that hide within. In order to acquire what they desire, there are no moral boundaries they wouldn’t cross.
Boomstick: Gideon Gleeful, Star Performer of The Tent of Telepathy
Wiz: and V.V. Argost, Host of the Popular TV Show Weird World
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Gideon Gleeful[]
Boomstick: Oh, I can see what others can't see. It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability. Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined. And you too could see, if you was widdle ol..cough..cough..cough..That song is stupidly catchy but man is it hard to imitate that brats squeaky voice.
Wiz: The song Boomstick tried and epically failed to sing just now can be heard as it’s supposed to sound if you visit the Tent of Telepathy located in the small lumber town of Gravity Falls. The triangle that shall not be named or made deals with has had its giant eye set on this particular town for quite some time. It’s not him that is one of the stars of today’s battle even if he is a known associate of the Tents master of Telepathy about to enter the Death Battle stage. Say hello to Gideon Gleeful AKA Li'l Gideon.
Boomstick: The 10-year-old brat is actually quite impressive. Not for his catchy theme song or disgustingly squeaky voice though. Its more due to the fact that Gideon is one of best money hustlers I have seen in my entire life. If he can do this as a child, I can only imagine what he would be like as an adult.
Wiz: Don’t encourage this kind of behavior. His act of acting all cutesy combined with devious trickery and hidden cameras is all wrong. An intellect like this should be used for anything other than pretending to be a telepath to become filthy rich from naive tourists and townspeople that does not know any better.
Boomstick: If a kid can trick an entire town into believing his bullshit, they deserve to be taken advantage off. At least he sticks with duping them of their money and not bodily harm. The same cannot be said about the Pines family which Gideon has a large psychic bone to pick with. Perhaps the brat does need some little professional counseling after all.
Wiz: Little counseling? His mother is terrified of him. His father is basically a servant who does whatever he says. Mabel Pines is grossed out by his desire to make her his “queen” while Dipper Pines is a target he won’t hesitate to kill for getting in the way of his relationship with Mabel. Even though Stanford Pines does not take him seriously, he has to constantly look over his shoulder to prevent the small vengeful child from stealing his property to get back at said twins.
Boomstick: A bit more than a little amount of therapy I guess is required. Good luck with finding a therapist willing to deal with a rude, obnoxious, arrogant, manipulative, power-hungry, and spoiled twerp that has temper tantrums when he does not get what he wants. Did I also mention that Gideon actually has magic in his possession that makes that fake telepathy display look like child’s play?
Wiz: A bratty child with magic is nothing to laugh at and Gideon is no exception. While he has used things other than magic like baseball bats and cursed Egyptian super termites in his quest to make trouble for the Pines, the magical artifacts and spells read about in Journal 2 is what he prefers to use against his opponents.
Boomstick: What is Journal 2 you ask? It’s basically one of 3 somewhat interesting books categorizing all the zany and weird stuff occurring in Gravity Falls that most people obliviously miss on a regular basis. It describes for example how to summon everything from zombies and demon caterpillars to blood raining down from the sky.
Wiz: I would love to get my hands on those books or meet their author. Just imagine the knowledge we would gain from reading it. Did you know that Journal 2 contains a one-time use spell that can be used to possess someone? Even if a hard hit to the possessed persons head can cancel the spell, it is still extremely captivating to witness. There is even a ritual to summon Bill Cip……
Boomstick: Don’t you dare mention that name Wiz! We don’t need that demon back in our backyard of reality. Describe the brat’s personal favorite artifact to use after I mention my personal favorite equipment in his arsenal. Having a size-altering flashlight similar to the one he temporarily stole from Dipper is something I wouldn’t mind using on those nasty tax collectors. Having some dynamite to throw around just like Gideon is something I wouldn’t mind having either.
Wiz: Sorry Boomstick. Won’t happen again. Can’t believe I almost let that reality warping triangle back into the studios. Speaking of people that can use supernatural abilities, Gideon might not be a telepath but calling him a complete fraud is not entirely truthful. That’s especially true when wearing his Mystic Amulet which transforms him into a true psychic child. Levitation, Telekinesis, and Pyrokinesis are all major abilities to be unleashed when Gideon uses the amulet to its fullest capability. Ironically, telepathy itself is not an innate power of the amulet.
Bill Cipher: HOW CUTE! YOU SERIOUSLY THINK NOT MENTIONING MY NAME IS GOING TO STOPP ME FROM ENTERING YOUR DIMENSION EVER AGAIN? I AM GOING TO LOVE TRANSFORMING THAT STUDIO INTO A PLACE THAT BREAKS AND SPANKS THE ASS OF REALITY. LOOK FORWARD TO BECOMING MY NEWEST PLAYMATES. HEHEHHEHEHHEHEHHEHEH!
Boomstick: Did you hear a very familiar laugh just now Wiz? Please say no and convince me what I heard was the result of yesterday’s late-night trip to the local pub.
Wiz: The answer is definitely no because me answering yes basically is just going to invite massive headaches in our future. Quickly makes us forget this ever happened by going into more detail with that amulet Boomstick.
Boomstick: Good idea Wiz. That magical doohickey is certainly powerful as the brat has used it in the past to either lift every piece of furniture in his own room or the majority of the merchandise inside a small factory. Being thrown around by telekinesis like that is not good for your bones especially when he starts using it to slightly squish one’s body into mush like what almost happened to the Dipper kid. The magic is unfortunately really bad for your brain as well.
Wiz: What Boomstick is referring to is the Amulets ability to influence other people’s actions. By stating this I mean that the amulet can make its targets more prone to follow Gideons every command. Most people don’t even realize that they are being slightly controlled due to the child-performers charismatic public persona. That charisma alone is more than enough though to fool the entire town or at least until a certain incident showed the public his true personality.
Boomstick: Little incident? I guess you are the one downplaying things now Wiz. Using a giant robot in his own image to pursue the Pines Twins is not little in any scenario. Being quick enough to catch up to a fleeing bus as well as lifting said vehicle truly makes it a coolish robot and yet more evidence that the brat’s quest for the power of the journals and love for Mable is complete unhinged.
Wiz: The Gideon-bot is a mechanical marvel isn’t it Boomstick? Its strong enough to create cracks in solid rock with a punch and is able to be controlled by wearing a specific suit that enable the robot to mimic the wearers every action. Causing a huge shockwave that could be felt throughout all of Gravity Falls when destroyed is a bit of a flaw that should have been rectified. At least it kept Gideon safe within from harm when it fell down a ravine and created said shockwave. With some modifications from yours truly, that bot could become even more scientifically brilliant than it already is.
Boomstick: Not exactly what I think you should have focused on but giant robots are awesome so I forgive you. If said robot incident combined with Stans indisputable proof of Gideons wrongdoing had not been enough to send the brat straight to jail, there would have been no hope for the ignorant mases of gravity Falls. Then again seeing as Gideon could still pose as his father’s major campaign manager from prison as well as becoming the unofficial leader of all the brawny inmates; perhaps the point of no return was overtaken long ago. Seeing so many strong-looking fellows treating a small kid as someone superior to them is kind of surreal.
Wiz: Gideon being among all those tough look prisoners is not as out of place as you might think Boomstick. The 10-year-old has showed surprising strength for a kid his size each time he has gone into one of his infamous temper tantrums. Throwing TVs and Phones so hard into walls that they break into pieces is not something your regular kid could ever accomplish on their own. The same can be said for the similarly strong Dipper who fought the 8 headed Multi-Bear and won.
Boomstick: Makes more sense with that in mind why all the inmates became Gideons private army when they were all freed by the yellow Dorito during the events of Weirdmageddon. Armed with Mad Max-inspired vehicles and an unhealthy amount of tranquilizer guns, no sane human would try and get past this small army to kick the brat back into captivity. Those that stupidly try would probably be tranqued into submission immediately. Dipper and Wendy, AKA the girl Dipper is not totally in love with or anything, aren’t afraid of a little danger however.
Wiz: Seeing as Bi…I mean the dream demon put Gideon and his small convict army in charge of keeping Mabel entrapped in her dreamlike Prison Bubble, it was inevitable that Dipper and Gideon would have a final inevitable showdown with each other. The result of this final clash brought about an unexpected result however that no one could have predicted.
Boomstick: Unexpected? Did Gideon actually win and turn his arch enemy into roadkill? They are both rather even in physical stats so if Dipper can tank Rumble McSkirmish explosion creation punches; Gideon should probably be able to do the same. I take back what I said before. Imagining him as a much worse human being in the future is something I want scrubbed from my brain now.
Wiz: Not even close Boomstick. For all his many faults, Gideons love for Mable was genuine. Thanks to Dippers words finally convincing him that that these feeling will never be reciprocated, the star of the Tent of Telepathy performed his first selfless act ever and allowed Dipper and friends to try and free Mabel. In an effort to be less selfish and prove that he was no one’s servant, Gideon charged against the incoming minions of Cipher with his merry band of convicts with the full knowledge that defeat was 100% guaranteed. It was thanks to this futile effort that Mabel was abled to be rescued and become a crucial cog in stopping the dream demon’s rule.
Boomstick: Wow…Just Wow. The kid hustler basically went from someone who couldn’t let go of an unhealthy grudge to someone selflessly putting themselves in the line of fire. What’s even more surprising is that the kid did not go back on his word when the everything was back to normal. Gideon actually trying to act like a regular kid is both kind of wholesome and extremely off-putting at the same time. Guess no one is ever too far gone to change huh?
Wiz: The road of redemption is a long one and a complete change in personality in the span of a couple days in not realistic. Its therefore not surprising that despite becoming a better person; there will always be some vengeful mischievousness running through the veins of Gideon Gleeful. Ordering a kid that insulted you to be beaten up by a couple of dangerous convict bodyguards is proof of this.
Gideon Gleeful: This isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of li'l.... ol'.... me....
V.V. Argost[]
Boomstick: Greetings and bienvenue. My name is V.V. Argost. You may recognize me from my delightful television program, "V.V. Argost's Weird World". Now that impression was far easier on my throat. Would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for that French accent of his.
Wiz: Not sure if trying to imitate the showmanship of the host of Weird Worlds frightening and charismatic way of speaking is a good idea. The show might look like a combined version of elements from “Tales from the Crypt” and “Ripley's Believe It or Not” but unlike those; Vincent Vladislav Argost, more commonly known as V.V. Argost, is not using his world-wide famous show for only entertaining the ignorant masses. The true reason is much malevolent in nature.
Boomstick: Better to imitate his way of speaking than his true personality which is something we can both agree on should never be imitated by Argosts rabid fanboys. That’s because of his true goal in life that requires the fame and money his fans throw his way in order to accomplish. What is this mysterious goal of Argost you say? Its world domination off course AKA insert the M. Bison meme.
Wiz: It’s a bit cliche admittedly but that does not make Argost any less dangerous. His quest to find the legendary ancient cryptid called Kur and use said cryptid’s ability to take control of every single cryptid located across the Earth would spell disaster for humanity if succeeded. Having a ruthless psychopath and master manipulator like Argost in charge of the world is not exactly a good thing when you look at all the terrible acts he has performed throughout the years.
Boomstick: Successful regicide of the underwater city of Kumari Kandam by staging an attack and then swopping in to save the day in order to become king? Check. Killing 43 out of 50 highly proficient scientists that entered his home to steal back what he had stolen from them? Check. Performed multiple attempts to maim and kill everything ranging from full grown adults to small defenseless children without empathy? Checked times infinity! All of these monstrous tendencies are hidden under a theatrical and charismatic personality that likes to use French words as catchphrases.
Wiz: At least there are some people that see though the mask of deception on his face. The Saturday family, who specializes in identifying and protected the worlds cryptids, are the ones standing between Argost and his desired price. The TV host is not one to back down from a fight and unfortunately for them; V.V. Argost has more than enough tricks up his sleeve to unleash on anyone standing in his way of ultimate power.
Boomstick: …….I think I am going to hurl up my breakfast Wiz. Did I just read the script correctly? Does the sadistic tv host really carry swarms of disgusting insects under his cloak to throw at opponents? Sure a couple of these sound decently cool to use like Al-Kaseem Firecracker Beetles that can generate highly flammable substances from their “abdomens” and Neural Parasites that feeds on peoples nervous system making it possible for Argost to control their bodies like the puppet master he is. It’s still totally disgusting though.
Wiz: What you call disgusting I call fascinating Boomstick. Insects like the Earthquake generating Jinshin-Mushi, extremely poisonous Flesh-eating Black Flies, and bloodsucking Devonian Annelids are organisms I would love to dissect in my lab. These prehistoric parasitic centipedes in particular seem to be a favorite of Argost seeing as these small beings unleash highly toxic fumes that can be used to paralyze unsuspecting victims. Using the annelids as both projectiles and whips makes this evident.
Boomstick: I never said their abilities were disgusting. The Shamirs ability to literal dissolve materials like stone, iron, and diamond as well as rebuild said materials a few seconds later makes these a must have for any decent construction site. At least until you realize that they can also entrap you in a cocoon made of materials to choke you to death. What I find disgusting however is the fact that either Argosts cape pockets is filled with these or said insects are actually covering his entire body hidden from view. Which is most likely do you think?
Wiz: …….Thats a good question Boomstick and unfortunately one we don’t have the time to theorize about currently. Speaking of bugs, we have yet to mention the largest one in Argosts service. Munya looks like a slightly deformed humans assistant that helps out with both running Weird World and the hunt for Kur. Appearances can be deceiving however due to the fact that Munya can transform into a hideous cryptid spider-human hybrid thanks to being experimented upon by his master.
Boomstick: Another bug thing huh? At least this one looks like a bug hulk when transformed which looks awesome. A bug hulk with the strength to stop an airship from escaping and spider-hybird abilities like climbing on walls and web from his mouth. It would have been awkward if it had come from his certain behind part of the body. This guy plus the reddish demon thing that can be summoned with the Royal Medallion of Kumari Kandam makes V.V.s rooster of creature even more overpowered.
Wiz: Instead of a creature, let’s talk about Argosts main use of transport which is not cryptid related surprisingly. His aircraft-like Warship is an impressive piece of engineering with its maneuverability and lock-on rockets. These rockets are powerful enough to either send the Saturdays giant airship crashing or destroy large natural rock formations. Its hull is also tough enough to tank being hit with multiple rockets. Anyone looking for a dogfight in the air should have an aircraft like this.
Boomstick: Is it just me or does it not feel like V.V here does not like to get close-up in a fight? He has insects and other things like knockout gas, knife-sharp feathers, Mongolian Death Worm Venom bottles and Nicaraguan Blood Sucking Vine seeds that grow the instant they hit the ground. He has Munya AKA Frankenstein-human-spider Igor henchman that is a great fighter and more unbelievably; an excellent freaking pilot for the Warship. This means the guy sucks when forced to fight without his pets right?
Wiz: On the contrary Boomstick, Argost is actually a pretty good fighter when he is forced into a close-combat brawl. It’s not the thing he is most known for but that does not mean much when he is strong enough to match Fiskerton in strength who alone is capable of defeating several powerful cryptids in a row. Speaking of Zaks adoptive “brother”, Fisk with the assistance of both Argost and Munya forced a high-speed train to stop once with their combined strength. This kind of strength combined with the agility to jump from his own airship onto another quiet a distance away effortlessly and the speed to dodge lasers with ease proves what a formidable opponent Argost can be.
Boomstick: To be fair, that Megatooth Shark Skin Cape is basically the biggest reason it is almost impossible to slay this tv host of horror. It’s said to be impervious and I believe it. Protecting Argost from harm when either falling buildings tries to squish him or Drews fire-swords bridge-destroying fireballs tries to burn him to cinder makes me want one to. The cape looking very stylish when using it to glide through the air is another huge plus in my book.
Wiz: A few questions have probably made themselves known in many of your heads as we discussed Argost physical stats. How is he able to do all this? Is he really a regular human? The answer to these questions should be clear when you see V.V. Argost without the mask he constantly wears on his face. Under that mask is the face of the most legendary cryptid in pop-culture; The Yeti.
Boomstick: What? You’re joking right wiz? That is no mask right? It’s just too expressive to simply be a stone mask. It’s also much cooler than his real face so I refuse to acknowledge these new pieces of information.
Wiz: Refusing to acknowledge a new piece of information is kind of dumb and is counterproductive during an analysis of a combatant. Perhaps I should find my dimensional transporter to travel to Weird World and show you undoubtable proof that Argost is the Yeti of legend.
Boomstick: I yield Wiz. I do acknowledge it. Please don’t tell the abdominal snowman with steel denting claws that I doubted his strength Wiz if you’re still interested in using the transporter. Do tell me more about his fixation with horror movies. Anyone who loves the old classics can’t be that bad. The multiple murdered Himalayan tourists definitely prove this false unfortunately. Looks like the cryptid was a big bastard even before upgrading to a sleezy tv host out for power.
Wiz: Him being a known mass murderer of the Himalayas does make it evident what his stance on humanity is. His way of speaking picked up from watching black and white monster movies comes from a genuine place though despite his desire to rule the planet. His love of theatrics and pointing out cliches almost makes up for his tendencies to tell sadistic jokes when his enemies are in a great amount of suffering. In fact, seeing that suffering is often more important than a logical retreat to safety.
Boomstick: Agreeing slightly with the mass murderer with good taste in movies when it comes to the annoying people ..cough..You Wiz..cough.. in my life. Does not mean I wish harm on the Zak Saturday kid because Plot Twist…again; Zak who was born with the mystical power to influence and control cryptids is the reincarnation of Kur. What did Argost do when he found out about this you may ask? His totally not bonkers plan was tricking the kid into allowing him to teach about the capability of his powers only to lure Zak into a trap in order to use him to summon an evil doppelganger from an anti-matter universe…….Totally not bonkers right?
Wiz: It might not have been the sanest option but its efficiency can’t be understated. By stealing Zak Mondays anti-kur powers and the grappling hook staff nicknamed the Fang, influencing cryptids all over the world into attacking populated cities with a single thought became a reality Argost took advantage off immediately. This and his newfound immunity that prevents Zaks own Kur powers from messing with his mind is all thanks……….to a process that killed a 13 year old kid in cold blood…….This is wrong on so many levels.
Boomstick: …………….Did I hear that correctly? He killed a kid in a cartoon meant for children? Sure the Monday brat was an evil little shit but that does not make his painful screams and body going limp any easier to witness. V.V. Argost just did something that almost no other kids show dares to do and I don’t know if I should be impressed or wish that the guy falls into the deepest pits of hell.
Wiz: I think both of us wishes for that last part Boomstick. Argost greed for power lead him into successfully stealing Zaks Kur powers as well which is fortunate for us. Him being completely oblivious to the fact that matter and anti-matter cancel each other out when coming together resulted in him imploding violently. Zak was right. Argost is not a good scientist. Looks like we got our wish fulfilled.
Boomstick: I wouldn’t bet on the yeti being sent down to hell just yet Wiz. The guy has backup plans upon backup plans that would make Batman blush. Just look at the cannon crossover the Secret Saturdays has with the Ben 10 franchise where it is revealed the good old tv yeti had Dr. Animo build a machine to bring him back to life in case of being blown up in a matter and anti-matter explosion. Despite being defeated yet again upon being revived, I don’t trust it at all. There is a reason his many still loyal fans love to graffiti ARGOST LIVES.
Wiz: Seems like even death can’t cancel the world-wide Weird Word Argost wishes to create. Perhaps this is a sign to never trust appearances ever again. If a creature like V.V. Argost is allowed free rein again in the future, the world will tremble at the sound of his iconic catchphrase.
V.V. Argost: Greetings and bienvenue, world! Have I got a show to put on for you!
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Death Battle![]
Entertainment Convention outside of Gravity Falls:
The sun was high in the sky clear for everyone to see with no clouds present anywhere. Today was turning out to be an excellent day which made it perfect for hosting the outdoor entertainment convention about to take place outside the small town of Gravity Falls. It was not a very large convention so not that many big stars were going to be present for the event.
One large celebrity from the television part of the entertainment industry had surprised the ones in charge of the convention by making a surprise appearance this morning however. As shocking as it was that someone as famous as this wanting to take part in their low-budget convention, they gladly accepted the TV hosts request and allowed him to set up a booth of his own. The owner of the neighboring booth to this newcomer was not as impressed or glad by this sudden unexpected event.
Anger and irritation were the emotions going through the mind of Gideon Gleeful as he exited his booth to give his seemingly more famous neighbor a piece of his mind. He was this towns star performer and not some weird knock-off Tales from the Crypt host. If a rival though they could step on his turf, they were sorely mistaken.
Gideon Gleeful: Get out of that tent this instant V.V. whatever your name is. You'll listen good to what I have to say and then get out of here. Nobody steals attention away from li'l ol' me and…..
Smoke suddenly floating out of the newcomer’s tent made Gideon stop his little rant and slowly back away. A lot of people catching a glimpse of the smoke also and approaching the tent was another reason as showing his true personality to them would only hurt him in the long run. Especially since he and his cellmates had all just been released on parole a couple weeks ago.
Taking advantage of the situation to embarrass the newcomer was something Gideon could still do however with so many people around.
Gideon Gleeful: Looks like our special guest accidentally set his booth on fire. If you wish to see someone much more cute and golly who knows how to use fire correctly, step inside the Tent of Telepathy and catch a glimpse of li'l ol' me……
Being interrupted by something coming out of the tent a second time was extremely frustrating but seeing as the coffin launched out of if almost cutting his head of; Gideon was too worried about his beautiful hair to be too irritated. The people’s attention was focused on the coffin though and that allowed them to catch a good look of its lid slowly opening up. Loud cheers overpowered every other sound as V.V. Argost rose out of the coffin like a vampire that had just awoken from its slumber.
All the smiles and attention sent his way by his ignorant fans made the TV host inwardly chuckle sadistically. Looked like his last normal public appearance was turning out successful. The world-wide weird world program he was going to introduce all around the world in just a couple of days would make this fan-greet puny in comparison. None of these TV obsessed humans would probably like what that program was going to involve. He was going to make sure of that personally.
V.V. Argost: Greetings and bienvenue. My name is V.V. Argost. You may recognize me from my delightful television program, V.V. Argost's Weird World.
Entertaining the brainless masses was fun even if this was not the reason he had come to this town. The true reason was staring at him right in the face with a fake smile that hid great irritation. Gideon had a good public persona but that didn’t stop Argost from seeing right through him and his parlor tricks to catch a glimpse of the real magic he possessed.
V.V. Argost: Thank you for the applauds. I want to personally thank young Gideon for inviting me here. Pleasing one’s fans is an important thing within the business so I just had to come here to this interesting little town to make his dreams come true. Is that not right young Gideon?
If it hadn’t been for all the people looking in their direction, Gideon would have used his amulet to have Argost telekinetically slammed into the ground in a fit of rage. How dare this newcomer almost touch his beautiful hair without permission and insinuate that he had sent an invitation. It was time to get all these people out of here and teach Argost a lesson. By touching his amulet and speaking at the same time, all the staff and guests in the area had their minds and bodies act on their own without their owners being aware of what was happening.
Gideon Gleeful: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you like this surprise guest I invited. I had a vision that he would be a great asset to this year’s convention. I am having another vision right now. I predict that all of you nice people will leave to go into town and eat at The Club as soon as I say the restaurants food being free of charge today. I will stay here however and have a chat with my “guest”.
V.V. Argost: You wish to speak with me alone eh? Such a splendid idea. Even better than anything I could have come up with.
The empty gazes present in the quickly diminishing crowd of people was proof that Barons Finsters “final” words were true in Argost’s eyes. Looks like this little trip was turning more and more interesting by the minute. This plus all the other rumors about this strange town should have made him visit years ago.
Once all the people had left and the two entertainers were the only ones still inside the convention grounds, Gideons false smile disappeared and was replaced with a violently childish outburst of anger.
Gideon Gleeful: V.V. Argost! You've just made the biggest mistake of your life! I can buy and sell you old man so there better be a good reason for what you are doing here.
The arrogant child’s temper tantrum amused Argost to the point that he answered the question with as much of a theatrical tone that he could muster. This was still a civilized society they lived in after all. At least for a couple more days.
V.V. Argost: Its simple really young Gideon. I have followed a grand global map in order to obtain a great prize. I finally obtained it a few days ago only for me to hear rumors about this little quint town and its secrets. Secrets that I very much would like to get my hands on and exists in written form inside the little journal you have in your pocket.
Gideons eyes widened as he stepped backwards a bit. Argost’s sudden change in tone of voice from nonchalant to intimidating screamed that underestimating this TV host had been a bad idea on the child star’s part. For the first time in a long time, Gideon was feeling true fear and based on Argost’s grin; he knew exactly what was going through the child’s mind.
All these facts did not stop Gideon however from responding with a condescending tone as he touched his amulet and levitated every object in the near vicinity into the air. Nobody tries to steal from Gideon Gleeful and gets away with it. Imagining Argost as Dipper about to be crushed into nothingness made the owner of the Tent of Telepathy smile.
Gideon Gleeful: You want me to give up my chance to obtain ultimate power in this town? If this is a joke I am not laughing. What are you gonna do huh? Throw a TV at me? I might be cute but that does not mean li'l ol' me can’t teach an old man like you a lesson.
Interesting! Very interesting indeed! It very much looked like the journal was going to be very entertaining to use against those blasted Saturdays after being ripped from the dead hands of this insolent child. Due to being the “good” role model he was to children of the world, Argost chuckled as he removed some of his pets out from his cape and prepared to teach Gideon some manners.
The price that he would receive from this lesson in etiquette interested Argost much more however. It was a price after all that had a ritual for summoning a creature possibly stronger than Kur. A creature he would very much like a chat with.
V.V. Argost: You wound me dear boy. Throwing a TV is such a waste of good television. Is it okay if I'll rip you to pieces like a wolverine with a squeak toy to get my hands on it instead? I detest the fresh air but the screams of naughty children is like music to my ears.
FIGHT!
Levitating tents, merch, boxes, and food carts spread all throughout the area were violently thrown at Argost curtsey of Gideons amulet. None of them to the fraud telepaths frustration hit their target however. Seeds thrown by Argost right in front of him created a wall of Nicaraguan Blood Sucking Vines that grabbed onto and crushed any object within reach. The TV host could not help but laugh maniacally at the opponents’ misfortune as the vines slowly started to make their way towards Gideon next.
V.V. Argost: Surely you didn’t think you were the only one with items of great power young Gideon. Don’t fear the Nicaraguan Blood Sucking Vines. They just want to hug you to death before emptying your body of blood. It’s perfectly harmless…..to me that is.
The swarm of bloodsucking vines descended down upon Gideon who used his amulet to envelop them in flames. No arrogant taunt was sent Argost's way though due to some of the burning vines almost falling on top of Gideon and more specifically; his beautiful hair.
Gideon Gleeful: Yuck! Go away! Go away! Touch my beautiful white mane and pay the consequences.
V.V. Argost: I am so terribly sorry. Please allow these Al-Kaseem Firecracker Beetles to prove my sincere apology with flammable perfume.
Said swarm of Al-Kaseem Firecracker Beetles thrown at Gideon did exactly as they were told. The gas released from their abdomens would have scorched the child to cinder when Argost created a spark with a thrown rock if it hadn’t been for Gideon quick-thinking. By using the amulet, the gas was redirected upon the beetles themselves resulting in them burning to death instead. Argost was covered as well but could still seemingly walk out of the inferno unscorched to the child’s surprise.
Did the TV host really try to best him with disgusting bugs and vines? If Gideon hadn’t been enough motivated before, he definitely was that now. Levitating his and Argost's booth into the air before sending them towards the TV host proved that Gideon was not going to play around anymore.
Gideon Gleeful: I give that perfume -5 stars out 5. Even the nasty perfume my Dad buys me is so much better than this disgusting odor.
Actually hitting Argost proved harder than levitating the booths into the air however. With surprising graceful agility, V.V. Argost jumped onto one of the incoming booths and then used it as a springboard to reach the second one. Using that booth as a springboard as well allowed him to reach the top cart of the conventions Ferris wheel. The whole thing shocked Gideon to the point of him almost not noticing the new swarm of cryptid insect thrown down towards him.
All of the Flesh-eating Black Flies and bloodsucking Devonian Annelids exiting Argost's cape being telekinetically redirected back up towards him only caused the TV host to raise an eyebrow. Young Gideon was certainly more skilled with his artifact than someone of his age should be but this was only a temporary setback. It was time to see just how much that impressive artifact could levitate all at once. In order to test this, Argost jumped into the sky to avoid the bugs smashing against the top cart and then glided through the air using his cape until he was directly above his child nemesis.
A gigantic swarm of insects of all shapes and sizes rained down onto Gideon from out under Argost's cape. If one looked up into the sky, this sight would surely be described as a rainstorm completely made up of bugs. Gideon had another thought running through his mind as he saw this though.
Gideon Gleeful: Stop throwing Bugs at me old man. They are messing up my suit.
Tons of insects were frozen in midair with telekinesis but the seemingly endless amount of bugs forced the child hustler to admit there was much more raining bugs than the amulet could handle all at once. Gideon therefore used telekinesis to cover himself with a self-made shelter made out of several booths and food carts for protection. Almost all of the insects that landed on top of the shelter were burned to a crisp not long afterwards. A bottle of Mongolian Death Worm Venom creating an opening and a Nicaraguan Blood Sucking Vine seed then later falling into said opening finally managed to catch Gideon off guard however to Argost's evil delight.
The vine that resulted from the seed trapped the child in its grasp making it hard for him to breathe. V.V. Argost witnessed this from above and let out his signature laugh as a result due to seeing his opponent in gloriously entertaining pain. Something large and metallic slamming into him from above turned this laugh into a yelp of surprise however. What had hit Argost from behind and slammed him to the ground was Ferris wheel having been telekinetically uprooted out of the ground. The still trapped Gideon got extremely irritated though when his plan of having the TV host turn into a pancake failed right in front of him.
V.V. Argost: Dear boy, Fashion is indeed important. Take my Megatooth Shark Skin Cape for example. It’s both sturdy and extremely stylish.
Seeing Argost walk away unscathed from being crushed under the weight of the Ferris wheel made Gideon decide on a new approach. Before the TV host could finish his gloating, Gideon incinerated the vine holding him with the amulets power before taking a flashlight out of his pocket and raising it in his opponent’s direction.
Gideon Gleeful: I dare say y'all almost had the jump on me there for a second. But this ain't Weird World! Out here in Gravity Falls, I always win.
Trusting his Megatooth Shark Skin Cape to protect him from the insolents child’s new weapon proved to be a fatal mistake on Argost's part. Seeing everything grow unexpectedly larger all around him made the TV hosts eyes widen in surprise. This entire situation would have been a fascinating one if it wasn’t for young Gideon looking down at him with a mischievous grin and boot raised. Argost knew what was coming and would have become extremely enraged at this humiliation if it wasn’t for one little detail that the child foolishly had missed.
Stepping on this arrogant thief was going to feel so satisfying. This was exactly what one deserves for messing with li'l ol' Gideon. To the child’s confusion though, V.V. Argost did not seem too bothered by his perilous situation. In fact, the mood of the TV host had gone from angry to mocking in an instant.
V.V. Argost: Don’t get too full of yourself boy. You are going to pay for humiliating the great V.V. Argost this way. I can’t do so at the moment so Munya will have to suffice for now.
Before Gideon could comprehend what the tiny Argost meant, something grabbed him by the collar from behind and hoisted him up in the air. The perpetrator then teared the flashlight from his grasp to the child performers protest. Said protests only increased when Giden got a good look at the one responsible for this indecency.
Gideon Gleeful: What are you doing? Unhand me this inst…..
Unfortunately for Gideon, his wish was granted in the most painful of ways when Munya launched him headfirst into the fallen Ferris wheel screaming like a little girl. To add insult on injury, web released out of the spider hybrids mouth constricted both of the child’s hands and stuck them onto the Ferris wheel railing making it impossible for him to use the amulet for the moment. The sight of young Gideon desperately struggling for freedom was a beautiful sight to be greeted with upon being returned to regular size by Munya. For once Munya had done something worthy of praise.
V.V. Argost: Poor choice of words. Do be so kind and play with this child Munya as I wipe away the dust from my stylish cape. Very violent playing with him that is.
Seeing as Munya was here, there was no reason to expand any more essential energy at the moment. Witnessing someone being torn apart was also almost as fun as doing it himself. To make sure the child did not unleash any more nasty surprises that would make acquiring that journal harder, several Devonian Annelids were thrown at Gideon who cried out when shocked by their powerful paralysis. Munya let out a noise that sounded like a monstrous laugh before running forward to pummel the child in his master’s name.
Despite the incredulous pain coursing through his small body, Gideon still managed to utter an incantation memorized from Journal 2. Zombies of all varieties rose out of the ground at the exact moment the incantation was finished and Munya almost being upon his webbed form. V.V. Argost sighed in disappointment about why kids always had to be so difficult to put down nowadays while Gideon let out a breath of relief. The fact that the zombies were attacking Munya and freeing him from the webs at the same time instead of eating his brain was a huge plus. Perhaps unleashing zombies against the Pines family could be a good idea after all.
Gideon Gleeful: I am not your average kid. I need no playtime. These zombies might be interested however. Get that spider-human thingy as I escape.
Retreating into the woods and insulting Munya at the same time turned out to be a large mistake on Gideons part as the spider hybrid heard him clear as day despite currently tearing zombies apart. After webbing up the nearest zombies, Munya shoot a large amount of webbing at the quickly retreating child star. The webs would have caught Gideon if it weren’t for a mad max styled vehicle shielding the hustler at the last second.
Ghost Eyes: Don’t worry li'l Gideon. Me and the rest of the gang will keep these 2 busy while you escape.
Gideon would have congratulated Ghost Eyes and the others for arriving in the nick of time but getting to his big metallic recently repaired ace in the hole hidden in the woods somewhere took precedence. Hopefully they did not die until he came back and stomped the annoying TV host into dust for real. Better minions could one not buy with money. Ghost Eyes would never get the chance to find out Gideons true feeling unfortunately as Shamirs crawled on top of him and covered him in a cocoon made of concrete.
V.V. Argost: Don’t worry about young Gideon. Worry more about yourselves as you are about to be crushed like a field mouse in the palm of a Bengal tiger!
The sounds of the thug gasping for air followed by deadly silence would have been a beautiful noise normally but since there were more thugs bulldozing into the convention area towards him and Munya; celebrating would have to wait until all these poor fools had been turned to shreds. Seeing as Munya were still busy with the summoned zombies, Argost prepared to give these newcomers a show they would never leave in one piece.
Knife-sharp cryptid feathers pierced the wheels of the incoming vehicles forcing the thugs to jump out of them into the path of bottles of Mongolian Death Worm Venom. The melting of skin and flesh occurring as a result of this filled the air with the smell of death. To Argost however, this was just a preview of what he would do to these minion’s master once he got his claws on him. That child would find out exactly what Zak Monday experienced for his futile efforts to keep that interesting book away from him.
While the now melting remains of those supposed tough criminal and currently webbed up zombies had not been too difficult to manage, Argost had to admit that the giant robot walking out of the woods could cause some major problems in the long run.
Gideon Gleeful: Feeling a sense of Déjà vu are we now? This time I will squish you with my boot. My giant robotic li'l ol' me boot that is.
Attempting to stomp Argost into mush this time with his Gideon-bot failed just like before due to Munya grabbing his master and using his webs to swing himself into the air and towards the Warship hovering above the convention area. Before swinging into the airplane, plenty of Jinshin-Mushi were thrown down to the ground where they cracked the earth underneath one of the Gideon-bot’s feet. The foot getting stuck in the ground did not trap the Gideon-bot for long though to Argost's displeasure.
V.V. Argost: Looks like we might lose this fight after all Munya. Naturally I blame you. Please fly us home to hide your shame or shoot that hideous tin can into scrap metal already.
As Munya sat down in the Pilot seat to avoid his master’s wrath, Gideon was feeling anger coursing through his mind for the opposite reason. Seeing all his fellow prison inmates dead caused the kids mood to turn from overconfidence to boiling rage. The resulting temper tantrum inside the bot also made it go on a rampage destroying the entire convention site before directing that rage at the ones responsible.
All the trees thrown up towards the Warship were blasted apart with rockets however. Even the entirety of the ruined Ferris wheel was sent burning down to the earth after the Gideon-bot picked it up to throw. The one time a large rock managed to miraculously avoid being blasted apart was also when Munya got to show off some of his ace-piloting skills. Neither of the combatants was impressed by these skills unfortunately when Munya did a barrel-roll to avoid the rock projectile.
Gideon Gleeful: Stay still so I can swat you out of the sky already.
V.V. Argost: Please do dogfight a bit more gently Munya. We are not savages.
Argost's annoyed comment made Munya change his tactics immediately. A salvo of rockets were fired down towards the Gideon-bot and with there not being any more large objects to throw; Gideon had his mechanical self retreat deeper into the forest. The first salvo therefore missed and destroyed what remained of the convention area in a giant explosion. Firing a second salvo proved more successful though as the Warship managed to get ahead of the Gideon-bot and shoot a few more rockets right into its face.
The robots face got scorched and severely damaged due to this. It and Gideons desire to crush Argost for his attempted theft and murder of his minions did not wane in the light of this however. Even the realization that the damage dealt was about to make the robot explode at any second did not change his opinion on the matter. In fact, the fraud telepath was hoping what happened with his first Gideon-bot would repeat itself and hopefully not kill him this time as well.
Gideon Gleeful: Please protect me robotic li'l ol' me like before. Give me the time to get to the steel protection chamber I built just for moments like this.
Tripping at the last second put an end to that last-minute plan however resulting in Gideon being still inside the robot’s cockpit when it exploded and let out a huge shockwave. The entire area around them started to shake violently upon the robot exploding into millions of pieces that rained down into the nearby forest. Even the Warship wasn’t spared as both Munya and its control system were knocked out of commission. If Argost had not jumped out at the last second and glided to safety on the ground, he would have surely been knocked out as well. Munya would so get a scolding for allowing their ship to crash once they were back in Weird World with their prize.
V.V. Argost: Good help is so hard to get nowadays. If one wants something done, do it yourself if you don’t want to be disappointed.
Doing so would be a bit difficult due to parts of the robot having been blown in multiple directions making it hard to determine which of them contained the child performer. Argost however had the perfect tool to lessen this search. A tool that he truthfully wanted to save using until his world-wide weird world event. Young Gideon was forcing his hand though so perhaps using it early could be a good test drive for the main event. The thought was one Argost found deliciously violent just like Gideon deserved.
As Argost's eyes glowed bright and animal cries started to howl all throughout the forest, Gideon was completely unaware of the danger approaching him inside the remains of the Gideon-bots face in the clearing where it landed after having been launched. The TV host was surely looking for him by now so a grand welcome would greet him upon arrival. A welcome that would include a demon that hopefully did not fail in his task this time. The image of the sorry excuse for a TV host and thief being turned inside out would be almost as satisfying as Dippers glorious demise.
Gideon Gleeful: Don’t think you have won V.V. Argost just because my beautiful robotic me is down for the count. I have one last ace up my sleeve. This demon better not fail me a second time.
Multiple claws slashing open holes in the sides of the robot head interrupted Gideons ritual to summon the dream demon to this side of reality. The child cursed inwardly as he was forced to stop his chanting and use his amulet to launch the owners of these claws outside of the ruined robot into the air. This was only the first assault however. Shamirs crawling through all the openings generated created a cocoon of metal all around the items necessary for summoning the demon. When said insects then went after him, Gideon had to angrily concede that another retreat was in order. Escaping outside through one of the larger openings only caused Gideon to come face to face with Argost and an army bear-like cryptids.
V.V. Argost: Trying to summon the great and Powerful Bill Cipher are we now young Gideon? Seems like our minds came to the same conclusion. I will be the one summoning him and taking control of this world however. World domination is a task more fitted for a grown-up than a child after all.
Why all these creatures charged towards him at the TV hosts order did not matter to Gideon. As long as he had his amulet, nothing would touch him. The nearest Cryptids were therefore levitated and thrown onto the Shamirs trying to sneak up on him from behind. Cryptids were launched backwards in fact any time one managed to get to close for comfort. None of this seemed to worry Argost however. The TV host simply stood behind the cryptid army with a grin as if he knew something Gideon did not which frustrated the child greatly.
In order to finally put an end to that smile, Gideon levitated himself into the air and out of reach where he drew as much power from the amulet that he could muster. The telekinesis generated by this caught Argost and his Cryptids in its grasp and then started to try and crush their immobilized bodies into pieces not long afterwards. Plenty of the bear-like cryptids had their bones and organs broken left and right as a result. V.V. Argost did not seem too bothered by this despite the painful yelps he let out. Even now, everything was going accord to plan.
V.V. Argost: Be reasonable now child. You can’t defeat me young Gideon. There is nowhere you can run where my pets can’t find you.
Hearing the smug remark of his opponent made Gideon only more determined to crush all of this thief’s bones. The increasing number of painful yelps coming out of Argost's mouth made the child levitate down to gloat himself a little. As he said before, this amulet made him untouchable.
Gideon Gleeful: I can’t beat you huh? Looks like I can indeed squish you like a grape and prove you wrong. Have any last words Argost? Do you feel despair because a child AKA li'l ol' me spanked you into oblivion. I am sure whatever facial expression you make isn’t going make me feel as golly and happy as me doing this to Dipper for getting between me and my peach dumplin'g.
V.V. Argost: Romance is a problem for you I guess young Gideon. I prefer horror movies and their tropes myself. Wanna know what my favorite trope is? It is when the hero think they have the monster cornered only for the creature to get the upper hand not long afterwards. Very similar to what is going to happen next my fellow connoisseur of entertainment.
As Argost said this with pain clear in his voice, his gaze was not focused on the levitating smug child but something in the distance. His gaze was specifically locked onto an ape-like cryptid sitting in a tree with the Fang in hand. A single use of the Anti-Kur essence inside him forced the creature to fire the grappling hook and rip the amulet from Gideons clothes. The trap he had set up had been sprung and the result was as glorious as first predicted.
Gideon Gleeful: MY POWERS! Oh this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol'ARRRGGH!
A couple of Devonian Annelids used as a whip curtsey of Argost constricted the now non-levitating Gideon and sent a nasty paralysis shock his way. The child surprisingly broke free of the Annelids grip not long after but the surprise was not a bad one in the TV hosts opinion. Hunting a fearful child actually sounded very fun so Argost slowly walked after the child trying to desperately escape.
The escape attempt was doomed to fail though as all the remaining cryptids surrounded the two from all sides making escaping impossible. Great amounts of fear raced through Gideon as he desperately searched for an opening and threw dynamite towards Argost at the same time. Was death truly about to claim him. He was too cute and golly for a fate like this.
V.V. Argost: Leaving already are we? My pets haven’t had their lunch yet and you look like you would make for a nice meal. The Devonian Annelids seems to be of that opinion as well.
A sudden thought popped into existence that made Gideons eyes widen. He still had a chance to win this with the trump card yet to be used. A smug expression remerged on Gideons face which Argost narrowed his eyes at. Looks like the child had a last trump card for him to overcome with ease.
Gideon Gleeful: I don’t know how you are controlling all these creatures but that does not matter as I will find out for myself after I have taken your body as my own. Lleps live ykoops, lleps live ykoops, live ykoops...
For a brief moment, Argost felt a huge headache coursing through him. It was as if something was trying forcefully to eject his mind from its body. When the headache disappeared as fast as it had appeared, V.V. Argost fell to his knees and dropped the Annelids makeshift-whip. What had happened was clear to Gideon resulting in him letting out a hysterical laugh…….or was it?
Gideon Gleeful: HAHAHAHAHA! I have done it. With these new powers, I will take my revenge on the Pines Family and make Mabel mi……Wait a second! I am still in my own body? How….?
The answer for this question came in the form of a white claw piercing Gideon clear though his stomach and Shamirs sticking his feet to the ground with a layer of concrete. Gideons expression of horror and shock then came face to face with a manically laughing non-possessed Argost. Before Gideon could attempt to retry the spell, Argost removed his hand out of the child’s body and therefore rendered his opponent unable to stop falling to the ground in a puddle of his own blood. The insolent child still miraculously remained barely alive after this so Argost decided to both congratulate and demean the child for being slightly more difficult than expected.
V.V. Argost: A very well attempted try I must say. Might have worked if it weren’t for the Anti-Kur essence running through my veins. 2nd place does not get a prize in this battle though. Let me still show my appreciation for what you are about to give me by reveling my true persona.
A decent rival in the entertainment businesses deserved something special at the end. Seeing as Young Gideon would not be alive to witness his cryptid army bringing this world to its knees, showing the child performer his real face was an appropriate compensation regardless of whether it was wanted or not. What was Argost simply removing his mask was perceived as something else entirely by the nearly dead Gideon.
What Gideon witnessed upon Argost removing his face was something so horrifying and full of murderous intent that Gideon was turned from someone desperately trying to come up an escape plan to the sniveling crying child he truly was underneath all the obsessiveness and overconfidence. For a brief moment, revenge on the Pines Family completely disappeared from his mind.
Gideon Gleeful: AHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I AM TO YOUNG AND FAMOUS TO DI……
Help in the form of a giant snake cryptid teared off and swallowed Gideons head at Argost's request. Helping a fan move to a worse world down below in hell was a request V.V. Argost would never say no to after all.
KO!
With nothing standing in his way of acquiring the Journal he sought, V.V. Argost put on his mask once again before tearing off Gideons jacket where his prize awaited. The child had admittedly put up a good struggle and used the journals secrets effectively but only someone more capable could use all this mystical knowledge to its fullest potential. Why stop at controlling a small town when the entire world could be under one’s thumb.
The book was covered in the blood of its former owner but that did not matter to the TV host. In fact, this only made it more appealing in Argost's opinion. The ritual to summon the dream demon from the realms between deserved to be located in a bloody work of art like this. Once the ingredients had been carried out of the giant robotic head, the ritual that signals the end of this world would finally begin and this combined with the upcoming world-wide Weid World would create a show humanity would never forget.
V.V. Argost: Au revoir Gideon Gleeful. I hope your stay in the afterlife is as painful as can be.
Meanwhile in the nightmare realm, Bill Cipher was extremely unhappy. Somone had attempted to summon him only for that person to be interrupted at the last second and therefore ending the ritual prematurely. It seems like another person was about to be added to his kill on sight list once he got out here which included those annoying hosts of death battle, a John de Lancie draconequus, and now an admittable entertaining sadistic yeti.
Bill suddenly finding himself teleported out of the nightmare realm and into the forests surrounding Gravity Falls convinced the dream demon to erase that last person from his list. From just one simple glance, Bill knew that this person was exactly the kind of maniacal idiot that could turn out to be an extremely useful pawn in the long run. They would definitely be capable of great things together and based on Argost's evil grim; the TV host of Weird World was counting on this to be the case.
V.V. Argost: Welcome great Bill Cipher. I believe you and I have a lot to discuss.
- Gideons headless body is torn apart by the cryptid army as they fight for the right to consume his flesh.
- V.V. Argost and Bill Cipher have a civil conversation about how to slaughter their respective archenemies in the most painful way imaginable.
Results[]
Boomstick: CODE DORITO! WE HAVE A CODE DORITO! QUICKLY TURN THE 4th WALL DEFENSES ON THEIR STRONGEST SETTINGS WIZ. WE MUST NOT ALLOW CIPHER TO GET IN HERE AGAIN.
Wiz: Relax Boomstick. I already made sure that our studio is Bill Cipher proofed. He is not getting in here to possess me again….hopefully. It’s not Bill Cipher we should discuss right now however. What we should explain instead is the reasons for why the TV host of Weird World triumphed over the psychic of the Tent of Telepathy.
Boomstick: I really hope you are scientifically 100% right for once Wiz. Speaking of our entertainers with hidden agendas, they had plenty of toys and minions to throw at each other. Argost having the bigger arsenal certainly is one the reasons for why he sent Gideon to deathdention but the child performer had some really OP equipment as well. In fact, this smaller arsenal actually countered and neutralized almost everything Argost threw at him to the point that this battle was surprisingly not a giant stomp for the terrifying TV host.
Wiz: Correctly deduced Boomstick. The Mystic Amulet alone is one of the major reasons for this. Its telekinesis could catch and redirect whatever Argost threw Gideons way. Since Argost's main way of attacking involves throwing cryptid-related things at an opponent, a lot of the disguised yeti’s advantages are turned obsolete when faced with Gideons amulet. It does not matter that most of these cryptids and items have abilities that could greatly hinder or even kill the kid. If they cannot reach Gideon, the child hustler does not need to worry about them at all.
Boomstick: Don’t forget the size-altering flashlight. Yeti durability and impervious shark capes don’t mean much when the opponent can simply turn one ant-sized and stompable. These 2 items in particular made V.V. look like a chump at times. One does not want to be on this TV hosts bad side however. Gideon might have a couple of things to delay the inevitable but don’t let this fool you into thinking this child having an actual chance in hell against a mastermind like Argost. Tricking the entire world into believing one’s bullshit is definitely more impressive than just tricking the inhabitants of a small town.
Wiz: Intelligence is indeed one of the key factors for Argost winning. Gideon is intelligent but Argost is plain and simply a super intelligent genius with backup plans within backup plans. His scheme involving Kumari Kandam alone proves this and is leagues above any of the child performers plans both in terms of success and scale. Seeing as the TV host has participated in plenty of combat encounters unlike Gideons very few actual physical confrontations with Dipper, it is very likely that Argost's combined intelligence and experience would eventually find a way around Gideons equipment or destroy them all together.
Boomstick: With all the minions under his command, I don’t doubt this at all. I am not talking about Munya and the insects filling the pockets of his extremely fashionable cape though. What I am referring to is the army of Cryptids he can summon with his Ant-Kur powers. V.V. whatever could literally take control of every cryptid on the planet and direct them to his location if he truly wished to show how small Gideon truly was. The amulet is OP but not even it is powerful enough to constrict this many creatures trying rip the child apart. No amount of zombies or prison inmates would be able to change this outcome with this big of an monstrous army.
Wiz: Without the amulet and flashlight, the TV host regains his capability to kill Gideon with his insects and their various abilities in order to end this battle in mere moments. Despite everything already mentioned making it clear why the child performer lost, some people probably will bring up that Gideon still has a few win conditions left that we have yet to bring up and explain why they wouldn’t work in this specific bout to the death. For example, the Gideon-bot is a very impressive mech but compared to the Warships flight capabilities and firepower; it does not really seem that big of an advantage. Even if the shockwave generated by its destruction puts the ship out of commission, Argost could simply glide to safety whenever he wanted.
Boomstick: All of Gideons mind trickery like supernatural persuasion and possession would also do zilch when directed towards the disguised abominable snowman. Argost's Anti-Kur powers prevented Zaks own Kur powers from taking control of him so it is likely that all of Gideons own mystical attempts would turn out to be big failures as well. Even having a way to summon the terrifying dorito is not a guaranteed win as the ritual does take some time to perform. Finding a safe place for trying this out is kind of impossible when every single cryptid in the world is searching for you. I can’t help but feel extremely bad for Gideon right now. Sure he is kind of a brat but even he didn’t deserve to become the yetis next child murder victim.
Wiz: You and me both Boomstick. It does not seem morally right that the combatant with a murder-happy personality and immoral view on life snuffed out the child who decided to reform his ways in the end. A Death Battle is a Death Battle however and one always need to have a death regardless of the few times we wish it didn’t have one. Even rigging this battle and removing their equipment does not change the result due to Argost being capable of halting a train with assistance and dodging deadly lasers. Scaling Gideon to Dippers Multi-Bear and explosion punching feats wouldn’t really help the fraud psychic against speed and strength like this.
Boomstick: Things just get worse and worse for Gideon huh? This bout might not be a complete stomp but it certainly feels like one right now. I would so stop watching Weird World if it weren’t for the fact that Argost is equally good an TV host as he is a murderous psychopath. In fact, both of these entertainers are kind of fun to watch when not scheming evil plans right Wiz.
Wiz: In terms of being able to entertain their fans, Gideon Gleeful and V.V. Argorst are indeed equally skilled to the point of their true personas remaining hidden from public view. Argost's larger arsenal, greater intelligence, world-wide cryptid army, overwhelming physical stats, and counters to Gideons own win conditions do make it clear however which of the two is the superior showman in a battle to the death.
Boomstick: Breaking news folks! Gideon Gleeful was just declared canceled in a not so li'l program hosted by V.V. Argost himself. Don’t go away as we discuss this programs mythically rare cryptid of an conclusion.
Wiz: The winner is V.V. Argost.
