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This is a battle Royale between Goldorak, Gipsy Danger, Optimus Prime and Gurren Lagann. 

Giant Robots Battle Royale

Description[]

Grendizen vs Pacific Rim vs Tranformers vs Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann!! Giant Robots fight to the death!! Who will win?!

Interlude[]

Wiz: Giant robots, the sweet memories of the kids who were watching television in the 70-80s.

Boomstick: And some new ones are still pretty badass!!! But regardless of the generation, giant robots always managed to kick ass!! Like Goldorak, the Space robot.

Wiz: Gipsy Danger, the Mark-3 Jaeger.

Boomstick: Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots.

Wiz: And Gurren Lagann, the leader of team Dai Gurren.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to know who would win... a Death Battle.

Goldorak[]

Wiz: Vega, an evil alien mastermind, sought to conquer the planet Fleed and erase its inhabitants. He nearly succeeded, except for one man. His name is Prince Actarus.

Boomstick: Actarus is a 20 year old male Fleedian, who happens to be fiancé to Vega's daughter!!! Karma...

Wiz: He took the robot Goldorak, who was stolen by Vega's army, and fled to Earth. Vega did find him again though.

Boomstick: And that issued a serious series of ass-kicking. Goldorak is 31 meters tall, weighing 280 tons, and has a HUMONGOUS arsenal of weapons.

Wiz: That is why we will only be covering the ones he use the most, as there must be at least 30 different attacks. Versatility is a good thing.

Boomstick: Let's begin with the most iconic of all: the Screw Crusher punch, in which Goldorak rocket propels his fists with metal blades covering his fists, allowing them to attain Mach 5-MACH FRIGGING 5-and have can achieve 4000 RPM. It can pierce just about anything, except the equivalent to hardest material in the universe, which was composing a shield of one of his enemies.

Wiz: Followed by his chest beam attack, who isn't really one, named the Hanjuuryoku Storm. It's used as an anti-gravity ray to repel opponents too close to him.

Boomstick: Next off are his badass Harkens; he has one strapped to each shoulder that he can use as a boomerang, or he can combine both in a staff named the Double Harken. Each Harken is crescent-moon shaped.

Wiz: The next weapon on our list is the Space Thunder, which is a bolt of electricity released from his horns, and is pretty powerful: it is said that he can output about 60,000 degrees equivalent of volts for up to 10 hours without taking a break.

Boomstick: Instead of fighting aliens, that robot should help the world with the energy crisis.

Wiz: That wraps about it for Goldorak's main weaponry for his mech form alone. He has access to more when combined to his ship.

Boomstick: But we didn't count the ship, even though it's a part of Goldorak, because we want to see humanoid robots fighting with PUNCHES AND KICKS!!!

Wiz: Anyway, weapons aren't Goldorak's only assets. He has a walking speed approximative to 72 km/h-with such big legs, totally understandable- and has a top running speed of 700 km/h.

Boomstick: HOLY SHIT!!! Thank god we aren't counting the ship, else it would be able to do supra luminal travel.

Wiz: Boomstick, have you been reading the dictionary lately?

Boomstick: Nah, it's just something I encountered in one of the complaints of the Goku vs Superman Death Battle. Thought it'd be cool to use it at least once.

Wiz: Moving on, Goldorak can jump up to 350 meters, and has an output of about 1,800,000 horsepower. Not sure that info serves much, but still good to know.

Boomstick: Even back in the show, Arcatarus already had a resolve of killing all his enemies, showing determination and no remorse as he ended lives mercilessly. That's my boy.

Wiz: As such, Arctarus already has the mental state necessary to go all out and not spare anyone.

Gipsy Danger[]

Wiz: The Jaeger program was created when huge alien monsters named Kaiju emerged from a dimensional rift in the Pacific.

Boomstick: Jaegers are giant robots who are totally badass-I'd love having one- and the main star of them is Gipsy Danger.

Wiz: Gipsy Danger is a Mark 3 Jaeger, towering at 79 meters, and weighting 1980 tons. He as of now is piloted by Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori. Both pilots experience what scientists call the Drift, allowing both pilots to dive into each other's memories, and becoming one with the Jaeger. Literally.

Cue Knifehead ripping Gipsy's arm, with Raleigh screaming in pain, holding said body part

Boomstick: Holy Hell that must have hurt. The two pilots literally feel the body of the Jaeger, as they are in each other's brains. Practical for fast strategic thinking.

Wiz: Indeed. Both pilots can hear the thoughts of the other as he does it, which is basically the definition of the saying: Two minds are better than one.

Boomstick: Thankfully, Gipsy has some arsenal at its disposal: the I-19 Plasmacaster, who is a deployable cannon in both arms who charges a plasma bolt and fires it at an enemy. Two or three were usually sufficient to set down a Kaiju of category 3. That just tell you how powerful it is. It can auto-fire for a clip of about 12 shots.

Wiz: As a secondary weapon, it also has on both arms a GD6 Chain Sword, which is made of a steel-obsidian alloy. When deployed, it first lets loose as a chain, then solidifies in a sword. It can slice through Category 4 and 5 Kaijus with ease. It also has a chest cannon, who burns anything in the range.

Boomstick: Aside of weapons, Gipsy also has some cool features: he has elbow rockets to add some strength in his punches.

Optimus Prime[]

Wiz: Optimus Prime, the charismatic leader of the Autobots, is an elite kind-hearted Cybertronian, who is part of the 7 original Cybertronians according to current lore. He's 9.75m tall, while weighing 4.3 metric tons.

Boomstick: That guy is a fucking icon, too bad Michael Bay had to ruin the franchise.

Wiz: The first and third instalment were good enough though.

Boomstick: That just doesn't replace the shame of Revenge of The Fallen, who redeems itself with an insane 1v3 fight, and Age of Extinction.

Wiz: Optimus has years of experience in fighting, leading and putting to use tactical methods. He's often depicted as a master tactician, leader, and combatant, with good reason too.

Boomstick: Even though I hate to mention these parts, you gotta admit he has proven himself when facing The Fallen, who was supposed to be a superior Prime to him, and Lockdown, while delegating other tasks to the puny human accompanying him. How ironic he only proved himself in the worst films of the franchise. Sentinel Prime doesn't count, as he was his mentor, and thus it was expected Optimus would be better than him sooner or later. Besides, Megatron helped him. Unfair.

Wiz: Optimus wields two Cybertronian guns, who can shoot at the same rate as a human automatic rifle bullets the size of tank shells. They didn't prove at any moment to be able to pierce any Transformer's armour, but they sure pack enough a punch to send them flying.

Boomstick: Next on, he has his trusty built-in heated swords, who can change shape to sickles, as demonstrated when ripping apart Grindor's head. Seriously, why his major feats are in his worst movies?! That doesn't make sense!!

Wiz: Optimus is a compassionate soul, and will seek to protect the innocent first, even mid-fight. Which can be issued by serious damage on behalf of his enemies.

Cue Megatron piercing through Optimus saying: "You're so weak."

Boomstick: Also, even though this part of his programming shall be disabled in this battle, Optimus is often reluctant to kill off his enemies, as deadly force disgusts him. Like when he asked Sam to kill him with the All-Spark, and Sam had the even more brilliant idea to kill Megatron with it!!!

Wiz: Last, but not least, Optimus, as all Transformers, can change of form. He changes into a Kenworth W900 truck, even though the films used a modified Peterbilt 379.

Boomstick: Optimus's top speed while in his truck form is around 130 km/h.

Optimus: All sentient beings have a right to freedom.

Gurren Lagann[]

WARNING!!!! SEVERAL OF THE STATS OF THIS CHARACTER HAVE NEVER BEEN CLEARED UP, AND AS SUCH THE AUTHOR WILL BE MAKING HIS OWN ESTIMATIONS OF SAID STATS!!! WALK WITH CAUTION IF YOU HAPPEN TO DISAGREE, AND IF YOU WANT TO EXPRESS YOUR DISAPPROVAL, MAKE A CONSTRUCTIVE EXPLANATION OF WHY THE INFO IS WRONG IN THE COMMENT SECTION!!!![]

Wiz: In the world of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, humans have been hiding underground for a 1000 years, hunted there by the Beast-Men and their Gunmen.

Boomstick: But one day, humans get some hope in the form of an abandoned Gunmen. Like one is going to change everything.

Wiz: It did though. Humans were able to fight back now, and slowly started scavenging Gunmen from their defeated enemies.

Boomstick: And one day, the main protagonist Simon's brother, Kamina, had the genius idea of combining his mech with the one of his brother. Like he had any idea of if it will work or not.

Wiz: The two mechs did combine however, resulting in the great robot, named accordingly Gurren Lagann.

Boomstick: Because, you know, one is named Gurren, and the other Lagann... Creative name right here.

Wiz: His size has been estimated at somewhere around 8 Laganns, and a Lagann is a little bit taller than Simon, who was 1m52 in his youth. That would make Lagann approximatively 1m85, in turn making Gurren Lagann 12.16 meters approximatively.

Boomstick: he has been shown to be able to dodge bullets from a massive war machine, which would make his top speed around 2844 km/h. .....HOLY...

Muffled noise of strangling.

Wiz: It is indeed fast. Gurren Lagann's abilities include a shield, a melee weapon in the form of his sunglasses on his chest, regenerative abilities(limited to a power burst though), creating drills from nowhere and using them in a creative way, and finally his ultimate Attack Giga Drill Break.

Boomstick: Gurren Lagann has proven he can drill pretty much everywhere with his main drill, proving much strength. Oh, and he had the power to stop a beam able to obliterate a medium village. Heh.

Wiz: Some people will say he would be able to destroy the whole surface of the moon, but that statement would turn out to be false: he only destroyed one or two cannons, by causing a chain reaction to make them explode. That would prove Gurren Lagann has superb aim. Then, when he "destroyed" the whole surface of one side of the moon, he was merely redirecting energy blasts from the enemy cannons themselves!! That wouldn't prove to be a feat in his favour.

Boomstick: Gurren Lagann's only weakness resides in his pilot's will. If ever they start to doubt victory, then the power will drop and the mech will start getting weaker. Much weaker.

Simon: We evolve beyond the person that we were a minute before. Little by little, we advance with each turn. That's how a drill works!

Fight[]

Focus on Simon next to Lagann.

Simon: All right, let's go do that morning test!!!

Simon climbed into Lagann, then combined with Gurren who was just next to it.

Simon: This should be easy... Spiral power should remain low for the moment.

As such, he relaxed for the energy not being too high. He then went out for morning practice.


At a hidden military base, warnings sounded all over it.

A.I voice: Alert! Strange energy signals detected! Gipsy Danger enlisted for report duty!

(Cue Pacific Rim main theme)

In the preparation room, Mako and Raliegh were getting suited up. They then diriged themselves towards Gipsy's head, and entered it.

GLaDOS: Bith pilots connected.

Raliegh: Gipsy Danger ready for the base drop. The head of Gipsy Danger started dropping, soon attaching to the main body.

Tendo: Coupling confirmed. Engaging pilot-to-pilot protocol. While Gipsy Danger's head was spinning in place:

GLaDOS: Pilot-to-pilot connexion sequence. Gipsy Danger was slowly taken outside of the base near the sea.

Mako: Gipsy Danger, ready and aligned.

Tendo: Gipsy Danger, this is Tendo Choi, ready for neural handshake. Starting 15,14,13...3

GLaDOS: Neural handshake...

Tendo: 2,1...

GLaDOS: Initiating. The Drift happens, Mako and Raleign plunging into both of their memories. They finally snap out of it.

Tendo: Neural handshake strong and holding.

Officer: Left hemisphere, calibrating. Right hemisphere, calibrating. Gipsy can be seen doing some moves for neural calibration.

Marshall Herc Hansen: Marshall Herc Hansen here. Your orders are to investigate the source of energy at the western coast of Texas, 10 miles from your position. Open fire in situation of self-defence authorised.

Raliegh: Loud and clear, sir. We're off. Gipsy dives into the water, and starts proceeding to its location.


Hound: Optimus!!

Optimus Prime was working on the Matrix of leadership when Ratchet busted in.

Optimus: What is it, Hound?

Hound: We just picked up a very weird energy signal!! One I've never seen before.

Optimus thinked for a bit.

Optimus: Alright, I'll go and check it out.

Bumblebee steps in.

Bumblebee Radio Voice: I want to go!(young Merida voice in Brave)

Optimus: No, Bumblebee. This is something I have to do alone.

Optimus proceeded to transform into his truck form, and sped up on the road to meet with the signal's provenance.


Professor Procyon: What the hell is this? Actarus, I'm calling for you, Actarus!!

Actarus stepped in, putting his cell phone back in his pocket.

Actarus: Yes, professor?

Procyon: The radar just detected a strange unidentified object in our safety zone. You have to go check it out.

Actarus: Right now, professor. Actarus ran towards his pod, took some sort of motorised sleigh to navigate towards his mech. He jumps out once arrived and yelled:

Actarus: METAMORPHOSIS!!! Actarus magically had his uniform on, and fell right into his cockpit.

Actarus: I'll be taking route 7. Goldorak, Go!!!

The ship went out, and finally flies towards the presence that was running in the safety zone.


Simon: Everything seems to be working fine for now. That little stroll near the beach wasn't a bad idea at all.

As he said that, he felt loud quakes in the ground while hearing a loud buzzing noise. He looked up in the sky, and saw Goldorak's ship arriving. It fired a tri-beam, but Gurren Lagann fended it off as it was nothing.

Simon: What's the big idea??!!

Actarus: It seems I'll need to fight him on ground. TRANSFER!!!

Actarus's seat gone down into the ground of the ship, making two half-turns, before being settled in Goldorak's head. Goldorak then detached himself of the ship, and landed by making a mini-earthquake on the ground. Simon was detailing the huge mech.

Simon: My god, this one's a tough cookie.

Simon started feeling the previous quakes again, as Arctarus started feeling them too. Suddenly, a giant robot head emerged from the sea, and started walking onto the beach, towering the two other mechs with his height.

Simon: I definitely should keep my mouth shut sometimes.

Arctarus: There is two of them? This is starting to get complicated.

Tendo: What do you see?

Raliegh: It seems the energy signal is coming from a 15-meter high approximatively mech, but there is another who seems twice as high at his side.

Mako: Raleigh, I'm picking up another signal. A different kind of energy source is heading straight here.

Gipsy's head turned towards the distance. Simon and Arctarus, watching it doing so, mechanically done the same. They saw dust forming in the sunset, then they could make out a truck speeding right towards them. Once it was close enough, it seemed to... change. With special visual effects directly from the Michael Bay movie, Optimus splendidly transformed.

Optimus: So that's all the ruckus.

Raleigh: It seems like a transform able mech just arrived also. We just passed from 1 to 3 potential targets sir.

Herc Hansen: The stakes here are too great. We don't know what these people are capable of, use of lethal force authorised.

Raleigh: Alright. Ready, Mako?

Mako: When you are.

Gipsy suddenly took a fight stance.

Simon: So that's how it's going to be then.. I'm all fired up!!!

Spiral power flowed, and Gurren Lagann took his own fighting stance. Arctarus, analysing the situation, stayed on his grounds, prone to react. As for Optimus, he took one of his rifles, and stood ready.

Fight! Simon was the first to to take step. He went towards Optimus by casually running. Optimus started shooting his rifle at Gurrn Lagann while Arcturus decided to gauge Gipsy's power. Goldorak moved fast and swift, too fast for Gipsy to get a clear shot at.

Raleigh: Dammit, that things too fast. Ready The GD6 Chain Swords.

Gipsy's chain swords came into play, and while they were still loose, Gipsy gestured his arms around to try and get a hit on Goldorak. Arcturus quickly backed off, realising he didn't have a safe space around it. Meanwhile, Gurren Lagann had approached Optimus, who managed to damage his left shoulder, and they were now fighting by melee, one with his sunglasses, the other with his heated swords.

Optimus: Your style is unfamiliar, but it still uses primary instinct. There's no discipline.

Optimus joint actions to words, and slashed, ripping open Gurren Lagann's chest. Simon was furious.

Simon: Oh yeah, tough guy?! The real fight starts now!!!

Spiral power started flowing through Gurren Lagann, regenerating its wounds. As it was about to approach Optimus, he then somehow feeler something was coming his way. He turned, just in time to see a loose Plasmacaster bullet heading straight for him. At Optimus's disbelief, Gurren Lagann dodged it at amazing speed, a loud bang being heard in the process. Simon, who was pretty much reasoning on fury by now, forgot Optimus and headed towards Gipsy at the same incredible speed. Goldorak saw the scene, and backed off a second before Gurren Lagann passed next to him, and started drilling through Gipsy, starting with the leg. While Mako and Raliegh were doing their best to repel the mecha, Optimus approached Goldorak.

Optimus: We need to team up! This guy is too fast for us!!

Arctarus: And why should I do such a thing? You will be dead by the end of the day anyway.

Optimus: We both know we will all die if that mech isn't neutralised. If you've got something able to kill it, then it would be best we come up with a plan.

Arctarus: Now that you say it, I do have something to put him down for good...

While they were discussing, Mako and Raleigh were doing the best they could to fight off Gurren Lagann, who was tearing through Gipsy, slowly, but surely.

Raleigh: we need to come up with something, and fast. Else were toast.

Simon noticed the glowing bulb on Gipsy's chest. He pondered.

Simon: That must be the energy source of this thing. If I bring it down, the whole robot will be destroyed. Alas, the time he was thinking allowed the two pilots to see him standing in one position in front of the chest.

Raleigh: Let's burn him up!!!

Gipsy redirected all his power to his core to shoot towards Gurren Lagann, who was starting charging his Giga Drill Break. Both attacks thought for a moment, but Gipsy's chest cannon proved to be too strong for him, and Gurren lagann was repeled. On the ground, while Simon was trying to get back on his feet, he felt something catch him in the back. Optimus had attached himself to Gurren Lagann by hooking himself into him.

Optimus: NOW!!!

On signal, Arcturus fired two Screw Crusher Punches in direction of Gurren Lagann's chest and head. Simon started evading, taking no notice of Optimus trying to slow him down. When the latter saw it was useless, he eventually got off. Gurren Lagann was maybe free of movement, but nothing could save him from the speeding fists. The first one pierced through his chest, and the second one was aiming for his head.

Simon: Kamina, Nia, I'm sorry...

The last words of Simon were muffled when the punch pierced through Gurren Lagann's head, impaling Simon in the process.

Goldorak's fists came back to him.

Arcturus: The deal is done. Now you die.

Goldorak sped up towards Optimus, impaling him with his double Harken.

Raliegh: Ok, are we fully operational again?

Mako: Aside of minor damage and holes, were ok. As were not underwater, it isn't significant.

Gipsy then started to unfold his whole Plasmacaster clip. Goldorak quickly reacted and dodged several of them, taking two however, in both legs.

Arcturus: Dammit, I can't move.

Raleigh: Let's make sure he doesn't get up from this.

Gipsy advanced towards Goldorak, and started lifting his foot to finally do an attempt to crush Goldorak. Arcturus smiled.

Arcturus: You might want to check your guard before doing that.

Mako: Raliegh, the analysis says his hands are gone!

Raleigh: This does not feel goo!! Deploy the scanners, full perimeter!

The scanners detecting two objects incoming.

Raliegh: Quick!!! Use both Plasmacasters to bring these things down.

Both weapons armed themselves.

Arcturus: I WONT LET YOU DO THIS!!! HANJUURYOKU STORM!!!

The anti-gravity Ray wasn't designed for mechs of the size of Gipsy, but it however managed to put it off balance for a second. And a second was all that the Screw Crusher Punches needed to pierce through Gipsy's head, taking out Mako and Raleigh before realising they were there. Both fists came back to Goldorak.

Arctarus: It's over... They're all dea...

Goldorak Suddenly received a blast in his back, then a second, then a third. Although it was severely damaged, it still stood up to see who was his aggressor. Optimus, his rifle out of ammo, scowled, and said farewell to his fellow Autobots. Goldorak sent his Harkens, while Optimus sent the Matrix of Leadership back to the Autobots, and Optimus got sliced, his spark definitely dying this time.

K.O!

Results[]

Boomstick: THAT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Wiz: The separate advantages each robot had on each other are as follows:

  • Optimus was definitely the most intelligent of the lot, the one with the more fight, strategic and tactical experience.
  • Gipsy Danger was the tallest, as well as the one with the most raw power.
  • Gurren Lagann was the fastest by far.
  • Goldorak was the most versatile fighter amongst all four, worse in nothing while being better in nothing.

Boomstick: Even in a fight who would most likely be directed by Michael Bay, brains were important too. Optimus had a serious advantage on that regard, not only by his experience and training, but also because he was the only mech who was his own pilot, allowing for quicker reactions than the other three.

Wiz: Both Arcturus and Optimus have been depicted as intelligent fighters, and with reason. They were both able to see the danger Gurren Lagann posed and decided to do a temporary alliance in order to fight the greater evil.

Boomstick: Even though Optimus had no way of winning anything here, both him and Arcturus knew they would all die if they didn't do anything about it. That's called survival instinct bitches.

Wiz: Gipsy was imposing indeed, towering at twice the height of the second highest mech of the fight, but it also was the clumsier of all. There was no way it could manage to land a hit on any other robot than Optimus without the element of surprise, which he used twice at good efficiency.

Boomstick: Gurren Lagann was easily the most dumb-headed, fighting against whoever dares to touch him. He was indeed fast, but his top speed is somewhere around Mach 2. Goldorak's Screw Crusher Punches are at Mach 5 speed. No way he was avoiding that.

Wiz: Gipsy Danger took time to recover, as both pilots can feel the pain occasioned on their mech as if it was done in their own body. Imagine your own body being pierced through repeatedly.

Boomstick: If they were a little faster, that might would have changed things drastically. In the end, they got spaced out.

Wiz: The winner is Goldorak.


<poll> Are you satisfied with the outcome? Yes No

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