| Nope! Not dead! | |
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| Season 1, Episode 2 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | Unknown |
| Written by | The Smashor |
| Directed by | The Smashor |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Izuku vs Gunvolt | Turbo Mecha Sonic vs Abobo |
Description[]
The Legend of Zelda vs Mega Man X. The villain has finally been cornered by the hero, and is slain. But then, in the next game, they return. Then they do it again. And again. And again. And again. And then they get killed for good! Accept they don't. Then they get resurrected improperly and go insane and you kill them and you think "Alright, their definitely dead this time, right? Then BAM, next game they come back with no negative side effects and/or are stronger than ever. And this happens more than once. And then they finally, truly die for real forever. Or do they? I think you get it. Who will win? The Gerudo with the Hatred of Demise or the Reploid with the Maverick Virus?
Introduction[]
Boomstick: Every hero needs a good villain. The main problem is keeping 'em around instead of the hero just using common sense and killing them.
Wiz: These villains completely evade that problem for one key reason. Resurrection.
Boomstick: Like Ganondorf, the reincarnating menace to Link and Zelda.
Wiz: Or Sigma, the viral enemy to X and Zero.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to see who would win a Death Battle.
Ganondorf[]
(Cue Batlefield of Demise)
Wiz: Many eons ago, there was an evil spirit known as Demise. It was defeated by the goddess Hylia. He was then resurrected before being defeated by the first of many legendary heroes, Link.
Boomstick: A sign of things to come.
Wiz: Furious at his defeat, he died with a promise. A promise of a never ending cycle. One of pain and misery. For every one hundred years, a Gerudo will be born with the spirit and hatred of Demise, and that Gerudo will be destined to fight the reincarnated Link and Zelda over and over again for all eternity.
Boomstick: This Gerudo is usually known as Ganondorf. Or Ganon, if you like pork.
(Cue Gerudo Valley)
Wiz: Ganondorf's goal is to gain the complete triforce, an artifact. His plan is fairly simple.
Boomstick: First, he gets the Triforce of Power. Then, he kidnaps Princess Zelda, wielder of the Triforce of Wisdom, killing hundreds if not thousands while he's at it since he's in the neighborhood anyway. Then he waits for Link, the wielder of the Triforce of Courage to try and save Zelda. Then the two fight and Link usually wins.
Wiz: But, Ganondorf is not one to go down without a fight. He is a master when it comes to fighting with swords and tridents. On top of that, he has numerous magical abilities. These include manipulating various elements like Fire or Darkness, Necromancy, Telekinesis, creating dark duplicates of himself or others, create energy projectiles and teleportation.
Boomstick: And all of this is enhanced further with the Triforce of power. Not to mention it, at the cost of four letters in his name, can turn him into Ganon. Who is totally a pig.
Wiz: Ganondorf is incredibly smart, coming up with numerous schemes and consistently. Including one scheme where he did, in fact, gain the full Triforce.
Boomstick: Wait, so he won, right? Timeline over?
(Music stops. There is silence for several seconds)
Wiz: No, Link still beat him in the end.
Boomstick: *Ahem* YOU HAD EVERYTHING! LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU WANTED, INCLUDING THE MOST POWERFUL RELIC IN YOUR UNIVERSE. HOW DID YOU STILL FAIL?! NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE!
Wiz: Twice?
Boomstick: Hyrule Warriors
Wiz: Isn't canon.
Boomstick: Don't we use composite versions of characters on this show?
Wiz: Believe me, you don't want us to use composite versions in this battle for reasons I'll explain later.
(Cue Inside Canon's Castle)
Wiz: Anyway. With the full Triforce, Ganondorf is far stronger than before. Not only is he more intelligent due to the Triforce of Wisdom, but due to possessing the full Triforce his abilities are far stronger than they otherwise would be. But Ganondorf's greatest strength is how hard it is to kill him or otherwise put him down.
Boomstick: I'm sure most of you know about Ganondorf's infamous inability to be hurt by non-holy weapons.
Wiz: Technically, this isn't entirely true. Holy weapons are simply the most effective. This revelation came about mainly because of Calamity Ganon. Though it takes much longer and is far more difficult, it is possible to kill Calamity Ganon with normal weapons. And unlike the oracle games, Calamity Ganon is not improperly revived or otherwise handicapped outside of intelligence. Even without full immunity to conventional weaponry, Ganondorf has gotten out of seals again and again, even getting out of a time stop meant to trap him for eternity, though this process took several centuries. He even survived being stabbed through the chest by a holy sword. And even if you do actually kill him, he'll just be ressurected a few centries later.
Boomstick: Ganondorf does have several weaknesses though. As mentioned before, he's weak to holy weapons.
Wiz: Not to mention his arrogence. He always lets Link prepare for his encounter with him instead of killing him instantly, even though doing so always leads to his defeat. But even with these flaws, if you cross the Great King of Evil, then it's likely already too late.
Midna: So you're... Ganondorf
Ganondorf stands up and slightly smiles.
Midna: I've been dying to meet you.
Ganondorf: Your people have long amused me, Midna. To defy the gods with such petty magic, only to be cast aside... How very pathetic. Pathetic as they were, though, they served me well. Their anguish was my nourishment. Their hatred bled across the void and awakened me. I drew deep of it and grew strong again. Your people had some skill, to be sure... But they lacked true power. The kind of absolute power that those chosen by the gods wield. He who wields such power would make a suitable king for this world, don't you think?
Ganondorf shows the Triforce of Power on his hand.
Sigma[]
(Cue Sigma 2nd MHX)
Wiz: Doctor Wily was a genius beyond compare. But he was always stopped by one robot. Mega Man. So, in the final years of his life, Doctor Wily created an ultimate robot far superior to any robot on earth or beyond and the ultimate virus made from an alien energy in order to control it. 'Though the doctor died before he could release his creation to the world, one hundred years later it was released, killing several robots investigating. This robot...
(Record Scratch)
Wiz: Was not Sigma. It was Zero.
Boomstick: And the alien energy part is just a headcannon.
(Cue Zero's Sacrifice MHX)
Wiz: Doctor Thomas Light, creator of Mega Man. During the last years of his life, he created a new robot. One meant to bring robotics and humanity forward. After one hundred years in a capsule, that time being spent learning right from wrong, he was discovered by Doctor Cain, an archeologist. This robot...
(Record Scratch)
Wiz: Was also not Sigma. This was Mega Man X.
(Cue Opening Stage MHX)
Wiz: Doctor Cain used X's blueprints to create a new generation of robots called reploids. Some of these reploids went berserk, being called "Mavericks" and hunted down by the Maverick Hunters. The Maverick Hunters investigated the discovery of a red Maverick who had been destroying nearby reploids. The leader of the Maverick hunters decided to fight off this menace himself. This robot-
(Record Scratch)
Boomstick: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! WHO IS THIS GUY ALEADY?!
Wiz: Was, in fact, Sigma.
Boomstick: Oh. Come to think of it, I already knew that.
(Cue Sigma Stage 1 MHX)
Wiz: Sigma, after a long and painful fight, defeated the red Maverick known as Zero. But, unbeknownst to him, this caused the virus to be passed to him, even if Zero was cured.
Boomstick: Then, slowly but surely, he turned evil. And then he turned everyone else evil and threatened to destroy humanity.
Wiz: He was then stopped by the duo of X and Zero.
Boomstick: Mainly X because Zero got a bad case of exploding. Don't worry, he got better.
Wiz: But, as X soon found out, Sigma is more that just a robot. Sigma's true form is a computer virus, and he has numerous bodies.
Boomstick: They generally come in two versions. The normal versions and the giant final boss versions.
Wiz: Most of Sigma's regular bodies have some sort of weapon. Thanks to how many he's had to use, Sigma has become a master with swords, claws, shields, scythes and firearms.
Boomstick: All of witch are laser flavored, naturally.
Wiz: Sigma's larger forms usually focus on brute strength and being armed to the teeth. One noteworthy version of Sigma is Kraiser Sigma in Mega Man X3, which was considered the ultimate battle robot at the time. But one thing they always have in common is easily being well past ten times larger than any human.
Boomstick: Reminds me of my Ex Wife.
Wiz: Sigma is merciless-
Boomstick: Also like my Ex Wife.
Wiz: And a master planner and manipulator.
Boomstick: Very much unlike my Ex Wife.
Wiz: Even decades after it was destroyed, Sigma's first body was considered to be one of the strongest bodies of any reploid, chosen to survive an explosion by the new generation reploids, reploids who can transform into any robot they have the data for.
Boomstick: But Sigma's deadliest weapon is his aforementioned nature as a computer virus.
Wiz: The Maverick Virus allows Sigma to control the minds of robots. And yes, there are explanations as to why the three main characters arn't effected. The Maverick Virus, also known as the Sigma Virus, is resilient.
Boomstick: Yeah, updating Norton isn't going to save your computer from this thing. It can even effect living things!
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: Marvel vs Capcom Infinite.
Wiz: No. The thing is, Sigma is far stronger in crossovers than the actual Mega Man X series. Like that time he fought Archie Super Sonic. Or that time he had two of the Infinity Stones and was fused with Ultron. Or that time he assisted in a plot to unite all worlds into one chaotic universe. Can you see why we aren't using non-canon sources for this fight?
Boomstick: Yep.
Wiz: Anyway, as I was saying, the Sigma has survived anti virus after anti virus and vaccine after vaccine. But, Sigma isn't without his weaknesses. He's very arrogant, and all of his bodies have some sort of weakness. If he lacks any technology to possess, the virus will eventually decay. He's slowly been getting more insane and only has so many bodies ready and waiting, though always has been able to trick or force somebody to build a new body for him.
Sigma throws Zero to the side, slashing and heavily damaging him as Zero screams.
X: Zero!
Sigma runs and grabs X by the neck.
Sigma: As I've already told you X, there are times when you can't hesitate to pull the trigger. You couldn't do it. You missed your last chance to stop me!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Fight[]
All was normal in gerudo valley. All accept one thing.
He had done it. The Great King of Evil had it. Ganondorf had gained the full Triforce. Nothing would be able to stand in his way with it's incredible power.
Ganondorf: Yes.. Hyrule is mine!
Nothing would even dare to even consid-
Suddenly, he was hit by a wind attack from an eagle based reploid. The reploid seemed surprised at his foe's reaction, or lack there of.
Storm Eagle: Commander, I need backup. This one is stronger than the others we've seen here.
Storm Eagle flew into the air and dived at the Dark Lord. Ganondorf looked at his foe and grabbed him by the face as soon as he was in range.
Ganondorf: Pathetic whelp.
Ganondorf crushed Storm Eagle's head in an explosion of purple flame. Suddenly, a reploid wearing a cape and green armor appeared. The Maverick leader, Sigma.
Ganondorf: You must be the "Commander" that fool was speaking of.
Sigma: That is correct. I am Sigma, the ruler of this world.
Ganondorf: Heh heh heh...
Sigma: Now, what's so funny?
Ganondorf: You are a fool. I am the one and only, true ruler of this world!
Sigma: Hmph.
Sigma throws off his cape and grabs a hilt. A green blade of energy extends from it.
Sigma: We'll see who the fool is.
Ganondorf laughs once more. He puts his hands to the sky, summoning the full Triforce.
Ganondorf: I have the most powerful relic in the world. What do you think you'll be able to do against me?
Sigma: The suspense, the angst. Relics? The world? How shallow minded! I will show you the full potential of Reploids, I will show you the full potential of the future gods of this world!
Ganondorf: Gods? I have raised myself beyond mere gods.
Sigma: Enough talk! Let us see who the future ruler of this world will be!
Sigma got into a fighting posture.
Ganondorf: Yes, let us.
Ganondorf also gets into a fighting posture.
FIGHT![]
(Cue LoZ: ALTTP Ganon battle remix)
Sigma dashes toward Ganondorf. Ganondorf creates a sphere of energy in his hand and throws it, knocking back Sigma. Ganondorf then throws a second energy sphere, but Sigma reflects it with a swing of his sword. Ganondorf reflects the energy back with his hand. This goes back and fourth for a few more seconds before Ganondorf finally is hit. Sigma dashed at his chance and slashed several times at Ganondorf. Ganondorf then pulled out a sword of his own, The Sword of Six Sages, and blocked Sigma's attack. Sigma backed up as Ganondorf ran at his opportunity. Sigma blocked the blade with his own.
Ganondorf: I despise this foul sword. It's unfortunate you forced me to bring it out.
Sigma: Ha! That is the difference between the two of us. To you, that weapon is something you hate. Yet, you respect its power, since you choose to wield it. To me, well, it's just a sword!
Sigma turned off the blade of his sword and jumped into the air. Ganondorf stuttered for a moment, but soon regained his composure. Sigma landed a few feet in front of Sigma and fired a few shots from his forehead. Ganondorf was hit with one before deflecting the rest in various directions with his sword. He then dashed towards Sigma and grabbed him by the face. Purple fire came from his hand as he crushed Sigma's head.
Sigma Bodies destroyed counter: 1
(Stop Music)
Ganondorf: Hmph. Pathetic.
Ganondorf began to walk away, before he saw a strange reaper looking character in the sky. Ganondorf looked to him
Ganondorf: Are you the next fool to dare challenge the great king of evil?
???: ...
The reaper pulled out a staff, except that's not what it was. A laser blade came out, making the blade look more like a scythe.
Ganondorf: Enough!
Ganondorf created a swarm of fiery bats and made them fly toward the cloaked figure. The figure hit away most of the bats with it's scythe before teleporting to the ground. Ganondorf created a ring of fire around the figure, burning off the cloak. This revealed Sigma, now in his fourth body.
Sigma: Are you ready for round 2?!
Ganondorf: Hmph.
(Cue X4 and X5 Sigma Remix)
Sigma threw his scythe, it sticking into the ground and creating shockwaves. Ganondorf simply hovered over this and summoned more burning bats. Sigma jumped back to his scythe, picking it up. Ganondorf dashes in with the Sword of Six Sages, but gets hit with an upward scythe swing. Ganondorf lands on the ground before throwing another ball of energy. Sigma plants his scythe, electricity (somehow) running through the surface of the sand. Both are hit. Ganondorf recovers more quickly and charges up dark energy in his fist before punching Sigma back several feet. He then runs over and stomps on Sigma's head, crushing it. He didn't have long to celibrate, though.
Sigma: Ha!
Suddenly, Sigma dashes and impales Ganondorf in the chest with laser claws.
Sigma: Mourn! Mourn for your obsolete race!
Ganondorf grabbed Sigma, throwing him aside.
Ganondorf: Pathetic welp...
Sigma stood up and created several lightning orbs.
Sigma: Do you want to know something ironic?
Ganondorf: ...
Sigma: I already knew about this "Triforce" thing! But it was so pathetic it wasn't worth my noticing! Hahahaha!
Ganondorf: ...
Sigma: What, cat got your tongue?
Ganondorf: Hmph. Your fate is sealed.
Sigma: Ha! As if! Don't you understand? You cannot stop me for good! I have bodies everywhere!
(Cue Ganon Battle Orchestra remix)
Sigma fires the electric attacks. Ganondorf uses the full power of the triforce to morph into Ganon. The transformation dispells the orbs, while Ganon cuts Sigma in half with his swords. Sigma's head is still in tact, but it is removed from his body by some kind of wire. Sigma's head goes on to Kraiser Sigma.
Sigma: Fool! You will never defeat me! Prepare to face the wrath of the ultimate battle body!
Sigma charges a laser beam with his buster, firing missiles meanwhile. Ganon destroys the missiles with his swords. He gets hit by the massive energy wave that Sigma proceeds to shoot.
Sigma: It's useless! Useless!
Ganon charges at Sigma, impaling him, before slashing upwards, slicing Sigma in half. Suddenly, all of Sigma's remaining smaller bodies began attacking Ganon. Little did Ganon know, this was mearly a distraction for the growing shadow above him. Colossus Sigma. This body was so large, it even those viewing from the moon could clearly see him. But, in his blind rage, Ganon didn't notice. He didn't notice, that is, until he was already in Sigma's hands.
Sigma: Time to finish you off, pathetic lifeform!
Sigma's forehead circle thing began to glow, firing a massive laser. This delt heavy damage to Ganon while devastating the landscape below, vaporizing Gerudo Valley in it's entirety, mearly leaving a massive smoking crater. Ganon had reverted back to Ganondorf due to the damage.
Ganondorf: No, this is impossible...
Sigma: DIE!
Ganondorf looked to his hand, the full triforce there. Sigma's forehead started glowing again for another attack.
Ganondorf: Triforce, with your omnipotent power, I wish for you to seal this being away! I don't care where!
Sigma: What?!
Sigma suddenly started to glow, before disapearing entirely.
(Stop music)
Ganondorf fell to the ground. He barely felt the fall, getting back up with ease. Compared to the fight he just had, that was nothing. Suddenly, he was grabbed by the back of the head. Sigma's 8th body.
Ganondorf: This isn't possible! The Triforce-
Sigma punches Ganondorf in the back.
Sigma: Scilence. You are a fool. You can seal away my body, but you will never seal away me. My true form is a computer virus, and I am all across the planet! Don't you understand? I shall unifiy the world!
Sigma's hand glowed until Ganondorf suddenly found himself in a strange, virtual world.
Sigma: From Alpha...
Several green wire frams of Sigma's first body appeared.They began rapidly slashing at Ganondorf.
Sigma: To Omega...
On of the wire frames threw Ganondorf into the air, before four of them raised they're swords into the air and impaled him through the chest
Sigma: BOW DOWN TO ME!
Suddenly, Ganondorf had left the virual world and was lying on the ground.
Sigma: I must say, for a non-reploid, you were mighty. But now, it is done.
Sigma's 8th body lifted his sword and impaled Ganondorf's head, killing him.
K.O.![]
Results[]
(Cue Sigma 2nd X6)
Boomstick: Wait, what happens after that? This is important! Wiz, do the time thingy!
Wiz: Computer, fast forward the scenario a few centuries.
The entire planet has been mechanized, Sigma has the full triforce and rules the now life-free universe with an iron grip.
Boomstick: Woops. Sorry whoever lived in that universe.
Wiz: Sigma wins this for a variety of reasons. First, let's look at their forms of ressurection. If Ganondorf kills Sigma, he has a few months at most to prepare for another assult from somebody as strong as he is. If Sigma kills Ganondorf, he'll have enough time to do basically anything he wants before needing to fight somebody who is far weaker than him without the Triforce, witch Ganondorf wouldn't keep after death. Second is speed. Ganondorf can block light arrows at point blank, putting him extremely close to the speed of light.
Boomstick: That's cute. Sigma can keep up with X, who can dodge attacks from Gravity Beetle, who makes actual black holes.
Wiz: And he should be far faster than classic Mega Man, who can dodge attacks from Duo, who was able to fly from Jupiter to Earth in seconds, putting him FAR above the speed of light.
Boomstick: I know what you're thinking. "But Boomstick, couldn't Ganondorf just wish Sigma out of existance with the triforce?"
Wiz: While this is true, he would need to know about the Maverick Virus first. While Sigma is arrogent, he wouldn't just outright tell somebody about his main trump card. And him telling X at the end of X1 is non-canon since X was suprised when Sigma was alive in X2.
Boomstick: Looks like Ganondorf didn't have the viral information to win this fight. Get it? Vital, viral? Virus? No? Yes?
Wiz: The Winner is Sigma
Next time on Death Battle![]
(Cue This)
A blue robot hovers through the air, scanning the area. He sees a blue gemstone in the distance. Suddenly, a large man walks up to the gemstone. He grabs the gemstone. The blue robot begins to point at the man, but before he can do so the man throws the gem into the air, opening his mouth. The blue robot starts dashing for him, and the footage freezes with an arrow saying "To Be Continued" in the corner as the gemstone is about to land in the man's mouth.
Turbo Mecha Sonic vs Abobo!