Gaige the Mechromancer vs Nora Valkyrie
Description[]
Disclaimer: Made before season 4 of RWBY
S1E1:
Two hammer-wielding, electricity absorbing teenagers with a few screws loose go head to head: the Vault Hunter Gaige the Mechromancer, and Nora Valkyrie, the superconduit of RWBY.
Prelude:[]
Boomstick: Wiz, do you know what's awesome?
Wiz: Since you're saying this, I'm assuming it's about either guns or Trump's presidency.
(plays segment of "we are number one but it's bing-bonged by donald trump")
Boomstick: Wrong, motherfucker! Girls! Red-headed girls with hammers!
Wiz: Nora Valkyrie, the pancake-loving female version of Thor from the land of Remnant...
Boomstick: And Gaige the Mechromancer, a GIRL who summons ROBOTS! He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick...
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death battle.
Gaige the Mechromancer[]
Wiz: This all started with a science fair. A science fair where Gaige was competing against a girl named Marcie Holloway. After paying off the judges, Marcie won first place with a defective robot that was a copy off of Gaige's project...
Boomstick: A giant self-defence robot named Deathtrap.
Wiz: Marcie pushed Gaige. Deathtrap registered Marcie as hostile.
Boomstick: And he hit the girl so hard she EXPLODED!
Wiz: Gaige, now facing expulsion and arrest, escaped to Pandora with the help of her extremely tolerant father.
Boomstick: Man, I wish my dad was like that. Yelled at me just because I did some landscaping with his shotgun.
Wiz: After being caught in a train explosion, the Vault Hunter was discovered by a weird door robot who couldn't climb stairs, and the rest is history.
Boomstick: And man, I doubt she even needed that piece of trash.
Wiz: Gaige's close quarter combat skills are amazing, as her melee damage and durability is on par with Krieg the Psycho's with the right gear.
Boomstick: And all I'm going to say is that Krieg can also melee someone so hard, they explode. And as for the durability part, well, let's just say he's gotten run over by a train and escaped unscathed.
Wiz: To give you another idea, Gaige has literally cut her own arm off and replaced it with a new one! The normal human body would bleed out in atmost 20 minutes. Gaige lasted for at least twelve times that long! And the arm can allegedly break concrete, as well.
Boomstick: Yay! Makeshift surgery!
Wiz: Gaige also has a plethora of skills, one of her notable ones being Anarchy.
Boomstick: Every time Gaige kills someone or reloads after emptying an entire magazine, she gains a stack of Anarchy. This gives a potent increase to the damage of her guns, but kinda makes it hard to hit anything. But who needs accuracy when you've got a shotgun?
Wiz: If she reloads prematurely, it activates Discord, a period of time that consumes Anarchy stacks over time, but heals her wounds and makes her more accurate.
Boomstick: It also makes her spit out more bullets at a time, and more bullets is always a good thing.
Wiz: She can also heal herself by creating claws out of her hands and attacking someone.
Boomstick: Cooking Up Trouble, another skill, can fully heal Gaige in less than 20 seconds if her magazine is full. Close Enough lets her bullets ricochet towards an enemy if she misses.
Wiz: She has skills that let her fire faster once she has used up the first half of the magazine, create an explosive nova on an enemy if she's shooting them while she's airborne, and create an electric nova around her person after she reloads.
Boomstick: Speaking of electricity, she has a skill that sets people on fucking fire if they have a shock DOT effect on them! Also, if someone tries to deal electric damage back at her, she can absorb up to 60% of electricity attacks.
Wiz: But Gaige's most notable skill is the Summon Deathtrap.
Boomstick: Summoning her Deathtrap opens up a looooooot of possibilities.
Wiz: Her Deathtrap has access to moves like Robot Rampage...
Boomstick:...where the robot become a CLAW TORNADOOOOOOO!
Wiz:... The Stare, which fires an incendiary laser that destroys everything in its path, One Two Boom, an electrical spirit bomb that blows up on contact, and Boomstick's favorite, Explosive Clap.
Boomstick: Explosive Clap is exactly what it sounds like. Deathtrap creates an explosive shockwave around him with just his hands! His HANDS! AND IT LIQUIFIES PEOPLE!
Wiz: But when it comes down to durability, Gaige can actually take more punishment than her Deathtrap.
Boomstick: Gaige has survived everything, from goliaths with automatic rocket launchers (shows a picture of a goliath blaster) to giant crystal monsters (shows a picture of Blue) to an angry cannibalistic laser dog that ate her own son (shows Dukino's Mom).
Wiz: She's also a genius, judging by the fact that she created a combat robot that puts anything from Star Wars to shame.
Boomstick: Well, he's competing with CP30 and R2D2, so I guess he already won.
Wiz: Gaige's combat style is extremely random, as well, so you'll never know what's gonna happen next.
Boomstick: But Gaige isn't exactly a pro duelist.
Wiz: Right. Gaige is best at mobbing due to her area damage moves and her Anarchy skills, and one-on-one combat isn't exactly her specialty. And she may be smart, but she's a few screws loose.
Boomstick: And Gaige can be somewhat reliant on her Deathtrap, and when it's gone, she's pretty open to attack. And there's one bad part about Deathtrap: she has next to no control over Deathtrap, and she can't recall Deathtrap to refund cooldown unlike her fellow Vault Hunter Axton and his turret. Also, there's a pretty long delay between times she can summon Deathtrap, so she'll be vulnerable for, like, thirty whole seconds. That might not seem like much, but oh, you should see what I did with my pump-action in thirty seconds to this 7/11 that scammed me on a six-pack of beer.
Wiz: No, we don't want to see that.
Boomstick: Oh, the drinks section was a literal waterfall.
(shows footage of the Niagara Falls)
Wiz: Weaknesses aside, though, Gaige is definitely a potent engineer you don't want to fight with.
Nora Valkyrie[]
Wiz: A long time ago, Nora Valkyrie was a young orphan scavenger...
Boomstick: Oh, you just had to drop them off on the deep end, didn't you?
Wiz: It's true! Anyways, after being harassed by a group of bullies, she met Lie Ren.
Boomstick: What the fuck kind of name is that?
Wiz: We're focusing on Nora today, not Ren.
Boomstick: I don't give a shit. What kind of parent names their kid Lie?
(Shows footage of "Why You Always Lyin'")
Wiz: *coughs* As I was saying...
Boomstick: On the same day, the village is attacked by a giant mutant four-armed SlenderReindeer...
Wiz: ...killing everyone except for Ren and Nora.
Boomstick: Yeah, turns out turning the color beige makes people not want to hurt you.
Wiz: Many years later, the two ended up together at Beacon Academy as one-half of the team JNPR...
Boomstick: ...led by literally one of the worst characters in anime history. Right up there with Mumen Rider. Anyways, let's get to the good part! GUNS!
Wiz: Nora wields a powerful two-handed hammer named Magnhild that can convert into a rocket launcher that shoots... hearts.
Boomstick: C'mon, Wiz! We all need some love once in a while! Why not have explosions and love at the same time?
Wiz: Is that what you said to your seventh ex-wife after you blew up half of her house because she refused to get back with you?
Boomstick: Ouch. That burned harder that it did to the house.
Wiz: Nora has done some amazing things with this hammer. Once, she killed a giant two-headed snake with just a blow of Magnhild.
Boomstick: But even without her hammer, Nora can still pull off some crazy shit.
Wiz: Once, she hit Yang Xiao Long, a fellow Huntress, so hard that she stayed airborne for almost 2 minutes! This hit, at the bare minimum, had to deal 49 tons of force to pull off.
Boomstick: And she did this with a fucking watermelon on a stick! Also, she's pretty durable. She's had a vending machine launched at her! And she still kept going!
Wiz: On top of all this, her semblance, a power possessed by all beings in Remnant, really gives away who she's based off of.
(Shows a picture of Thor raising his hammer into the air and absorbing lightning)
Boomstick: She absorbs electricity!
Wiz: More specifically, after she absorbs this electricity, she charges it into her muscles and gains an immense strength and speed boost.
Boomstick: Man, if I had that power when I was a kid, maybe sticking that fork in that light socket wouldn't have been such a bad idea.
Wiz: After being struck by a simulated lightning strike, she knocked four people out of an arena at once with Magnhild.
Boomstick: And she can store electricity in her hammer, so she's pretty set. It's like a giant power bank! Man, wish I could plug my iPhone into that thing.
Wiz: But Nora's not all sunshine and rainbows.
Boomstick: Yeah, she's pretty retarded, and she never takes anything seriously. She makes my mother look like a rocket scientist.
Wiz: And she seems pretty dependent on her teammates when she doesn't have electricity on her hands to compensate. She will also rush into a battle without knowing anything about her enemy, and has not been known to to be one who retreats when things get harsh. Also, after the upgrade to her hammer that let her store electricity in its head, she's a bit reliant on her semblance. Also, she's extremely hyper all the time.
Boomstick: Either way, Nora Valkyrie is one tough cookie who will, well...
Nora: We'll break his legs!
Battle Intro[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: But before that, Blue Apron is offering...
Wiz (out of character): We're not doing a Blue Apron ad this episode, Chad.
Boomstick (out of character): Oh. Thank god!
Battle[]
"Ren, how long have we been walking though Mistral? I think we're lost." Nora groans as she slumps on Ren's shoulder (yes I ship Renora, Bumblebee is still relevant).
"Relax. Don't you want to go to that breakfast place? The Pancake House?"
She immediately perks up.
"Yes! YES! Do they have coffee? I really hope they have coffee."
"I assumed so." Ren presses a few buttons on his scroll, then cocks his head to the left.
"What's wrong?"
"My scroll's running out of battery."
"There's an outlet right there." Nora points at a wall with an occupied outlet. Gaige leans against the wall, her phone charging as she listens to music.
"Excuse me, young lady, but we just need to use this outlet for a bit..." Ren asks, accidentally stepping on the charging wire, pulling it out of the outlet. Gaige stands up and smacks Ren across the face with her claw hammer. He falls down, unconscious.
"Oh no, you did not just do that!" Nora yells, pulling out Magnhild.
"You're next!"
"Fight!"[]
Nora lurches at Gaige with her hammer. Gaige is knocked backwards from the blow, but nevertheless unharmed.
"More! HAMMER!"
Nora lunges a few more times. The first two or so connect, but on the last hit, Gaige blocks it with what looks like digitally constructed claws.
"Snik snik, bitches!"
She walks towards Nora with a barrage of claws. She flies backwards into a fruit stand.
"Let's dance!" Gaige then runs towards her and smacks her upwards with her claw hammer. Then, she fires a few rounds with her pistol and jumps towards Nora, smashing her into a pile of watermelons. Gaige laughs.
"What're you laughing at, girl?"
Nora changes Magnhild into a rocket launcher and fires a rocket at Gaige. She attempls to block with her claws, but she is knocked down towards the populated area of Mistral.
Nora makes a charged lunge at Gaige while she is falling, forcing Gaige through a building.
Then, Nora fires the remainder of her chamber point-blank at Gaige's torso. Nora is launched upwards, and uses her momentum to torpedo downwards with a crushing effect.
The attack doesn't connect.
(Clear-Pusher, Shawn Wasabi Remix, 0:04-0:28)
Deathtrap, his claws blocking the attack, slashes Nora, propelling her into a crowd of bystanders. He shoots a continuous incendiary laser focused on Nora's chest. He floats over to her and begins to rotate quickly with his claws outstretched, knocking back the bystanders and forcing Nora into a wall.
Gaige empties the rest of her clip into Nora, then reloads. A shock nova is generated out of her person, destroying the house and making the rubble fall on Nora. Gaige walks away, believing she has finished her opponent. Deathtrap disappears into the ground.
But it was not to be.
(Clear-Pusher, Shawn Wasabi Remix, 0:28-1:10)
An explosion come from the pile. Nora, charged and at the ready with her hammer, smiles.
"Time to end this!"Nora smacks Gaige upwards into the air, then fires three rockets at her. Gaige destroys the first two with her claw hammer, but the last one hits her in the abdomen, making her ascent even faster.
Nora torpedoes into Gaige with her hammer, knocking the two onto an airplane. A bloodied Gaige pulls herself upwards.
"Alright, playtime's over."
Nora lurches again. Gaige blocks with her claw hammer and slices Nora in the knee with her claws. Nora staggers backwards. Gaige then summons Deathtrap. He releases a large blue ball of electricity.
Nora's eyes gleam at the sight.
And she hit it with her hammer.
(Phase Me Out-Verite 2:27-3:34)
In the wreckage of the plane crash, we see Gaige sitting next to an almost dead Deathtrap.
Nora, fully charged, fires her rockets at the ground, launching her upwards and leaving a pink cloud in Gaige's area.
Her vision obstructed, Gaige fires a round from her pistol, then reloads. The shock nova clears the dust.
Looking upwards, she sees a speeding pink missile coming down on her.
"You ain't gankin' me that easy." She pulls out her claw hammer and prepares to retaliate.
But there was no need to prepare. Deathtrap faithfully blocks the attack yet again. He dies with a loud robotic shriek.
"Now you're gonna get it!" Gaige screams.
She slashes at Nora with her claw. Using her metal arm, she then bitchslaps Nora into the ground.
Nora's body suddenly lights up again, her grip on Magnhild tightening.
"Lucky I always keep a power source on me." Nora jumps up, charged up yet again.
She runs towards Gaige with her hammer raised above her head. Gaige ducks, and Nora misses her hit
Then Gaige jumps and impales Nora though her abdomen with her claws. Nora, still alive, absorbs some more electricity from her hammer. "I...can...do this..."
Suddenly, Deathtrap appears yet again, behind Nora. He raises his hands and claps them together, right where Nora's head was. Her head explodes, creating a bloody mess everywhere.
===K.O!===
Gaige is seen riding Deathtrap back to Mistral.
Nora's body is discovered by Ren, who has a large bump on his head where Gaige hit him.
Outcome[]
Boomstick: Her head got LIQUIFIED!
Wiz: Nora had the edge in speed, but that's just about it.
Boomstick: Remember Krieg and how Gaige's durablility is on par with his? Well, in Krieg's trailer, "A Meat Bicycle Bult For Two", he was hit by a train. He didn't have any defensive items, and he didn't even prepare himself. Straight train. And he left unscathed.
Wiz: Judging by the size of the train and the speed it was travelling at, the train hit him with at least 201 tons of force.
Boomstick: And since Gaige is on par with him, it's safe to say she's got that level of durablilty.
Wiz: Sure, Nora's defeated Yang Xiao Long, resident powerhouse of Beacon, but Gaige has taken on much, much more than an angry blonde girl with shotguns for hands.
Boomstick: Strength-wise, Gaige can shatter concrete with no problem. We're going to use the same video that we used in Yang vs Tifa.
Wiz: And if we proportion it just right to the point where Gaige is just breaking just blocks of concrete, not pillars, she has an attack power of about 133 tons of force.
Boomstick: And if we proportion the make-shift watermelon hammer's power to Magnhild, we get a total of 125 tons as Nora's striking force.
Wiz: And as for Nora's strength boost with her electricity, well, compare hitting four people across an arena after being struck by lightning to being stepped on by a giant lava dragon (shows Warrior) and surviving! And if you're whining about Nora's rocket power, Gaige has tanked back-to-back mortar shots and a train crash with a load of explosives on it.
Boomstick: Also, Nora may be extremely strong and may even exceed Gaige in strength when she's fully charged, but her hammer can only hold so much at one time, and Gaige's electrical attacks are nowhere near the strength of a lightning bolt.
Wiz: Gaige was also smart, and could easily predict Nora's simple fighting style.
Boomstick: This battle ending probably came as a shock.
Wiz: The winner is Gaige the Mechromancer.