My super ex-girlfriend vs Hancock, its the battle of two live action comedic slightly bad but mostly well meaning supermen rip-offs, but who will win.
intro[]
Deadpool: Jenny Johnson/G-girl, Matt Saunders super ex-girlfriend.
Sans: Hancock, superhero on a path to redeem himself.
Sheldon: be it superhero movies or comedies, these genres of entertainment are a dime a dozen, so there’s obviously gonna be some that combine the two things while still giving a rather good story, like these two.
Sans: he’s Sheldon, he’s Deadpool and I’m Sans, and it’s our job to analyse their powers, stats and mindsets to figure out who would win…
ALL: A DEATH BATTLE
g-girl attacks her opponent with a great white shark while their in bed in death battle[]
Sheldon: as we get older our body goes through some natural… changes, we grow taller, hair appears where it wasn’t before and we even begin to grow apart from our old friends and loved ones.
Deadpool: why you talking about puberty.
Sheldon: well as I was going to say, it’s only natural, but what if the changes that happen… aren’t natural.
Sans: one day, a meteor fell from the sky like usual, only this one held some rather unique properties, as shown when a young Jenny Johnson found it, touching it because kids are stupid, the energy from the meteor was absorbed into her own body, turning a nerdy girl into a super one.
Hancock shoves his opponents head up their own ass in death battle[]
fight[]
The brightness of the sun shone down upon the sprawling city streets, many cars driving across the solid yet hot tar, the sheer heat causing minor tire tracks to trace along it, of course not that many cars actually moved across the street on a day like this, many people were either walking around to embrace the heat or staying inside to avoid it.
In heat as strong as this most people would likely just be having a cold can of beer, but one person held the bag and glass bottle as he stumbled through the streets, while some would think it irresponsible Hancock knew nothing could harm him just from doing this.
Hancock: mmm, woo, now this right here, this is a good day, been a while since I could just take a break and rela… uhhh, should’ve just kept my big mouth shut shouldn’t I.
As he says this the sound he heard becomes heard throughout the city as many people looked up to the skies to see a massive aeroplane falling towards the streets, many people began screaming and tried to run away, a little kid watching in awe at the sight as he turned to see Hancock, who in a split second was suddenly wearing his blackish hero suit, a yellow stripe running across his arms and chest, and was flying up towards the falling plane, the kids ice scream cone falling from his hands as his mother came by and quickly grabbed him up.
Positioning himself carefully, Hancock began slowing its descent as he began slowly but surely lifting it up, its wings barely grazing the roofs of some nearby windows, only he had another problem, the front was currently on fire, he knew he had to think of something fast, but wha-
bzzzt
To the surprise of the hero, a laser had sliced right through the front of the plane, removing the burning part entirely as a blur entered the planes door, removing each and every person from it and placing them all on the streets below, they had even made sure to place all of their luggage down as well.
Carrying the plane off, Hancock left it to rest on an open field before zooming back to the city at the speed of sound, arriving at the original scene he was surprised to see a blonde woman floating before the crowd in a black suit with a large G on its front, her real name was Jenny Johnson, but to everyone currently here, she was G-Girl.