Description[]
Frozone VS Mei is a fanmade "DEATH BATTLE!" featuring Frozone from Pixar's The Incredibles and Mei from Overwatch in a battle between two crime-fighters that utilize ice in their arsenals and are part of organizations (DevTech & Overwatch) that were created/reformed out of a longing for a return to heroism (Heroism being illegalized in The Incredibles, Overwatch having been disbanded). There is also a contrast in how they're able to use their ice, with Frozone creating his ice organically out of moisture while Mei relies on her technology to do it. The episode has been indefinitely delayed.
Pre-Episode[]
Otamme vallan hitaasti. Oreo menettää kaiken, mitä hänellä on.
The camera pans to a window, once again, on a late night. We see Oreo alone in his bed, an alarm indicating 11 PM, as he begins rolling and struggling to sleep, before giving in to his inability to stay unconcious.
Oreo: Screw it, I'm going on my computer.
The camera goes back outside, where it's morning.
We see the door open to Oreo's room, as Cherry and Chip walk in.
Cherry: Hey, Ore- oh... what happened here?
Oreo's head perks up from his desk, as he fell asleep late while working.
Oreo: Huh, wha- oh, just another work-filled night for me.
Chip: Requesting a bag check on Oreo's eyes!
*crickets chirp in the distance*
Chip: See, the crickets get it!
Cherry: Oreo, how much sleep did you get?
Oreo: I don't know, but look I finished a shit- I mean script.
Cherry: Alright, well, I'll overview it, you get a nap, and I'll be back in an hour for... wait what match is this anyways?
Oreo: *already on the assignment like the good listener he is* SNOOOOOOOORE- mimimimimimimi
Cherry: Oh, Frozone VS Mei. Quite the cool matchup.
*distant hollywood laugh track*
Chip: The crickets matter more.
Cherry: Hey, not my fault you're unfunny to anything other than small insects. Chill out.
Chip: If you don't put a freeze on the cold jokes now, I'll-
Cherry: You'll nothing. Or I'll melt your snowballs.
*audience ooohing, which is a word now, I suppose*
Intro[]
Oreo: Frozone, the coolest cat who defies odds close to nil!
Cherry: And Mei, the blizzard ensuring our world is worth fighting for!
Chip: When these two icy combatants hit the street, they use their abilities to cool down any adversity, even if it's in the form of the authorities that be, trying to take away their right to fight.
Oreo: When the world needed them, they were unwanted, but never truly wanted to stop their commitment to heroism.
Cherry: So they naturally jumped right back on when they found an opportunity. To reform, and to return to action once more.
Chip: He's Oreo, she's Cherry, and I'm Chip.
Oreo: And it's our job to memorize their weapons, armor, and skills
Cherry: And find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE!
Frozone needs his supersuit in DEATH BATTLE![]
(Cue: Michael Giacchino - The Glory Days)
Oreo: Imagine a world where people can be born with incredible gifts, real original I know but this is one of the better ones.
Cherry: A world where heroes shone bright, and used their powers to fight for their people!
Chip: ...and then they were illegalized.
Oreo: It started when Bob Parr, a hero known as Mr. Incredible saved a man who was falling off a building, only to discover he... fully intended to check out early.
Cherry: After this, Mr. Incredible would fail to stop a robbery attempt by villain Bomb Voyage, thanks to meddling from his then #1 fan and soon to be rival, Buddy Pine. Leading to a bomb landing on a train track, forcing him to stop an oncoming train entirely.
Chip: And because of this, several upset train passengers AS WELL as the aforementioned civilian took him to court and sued him for everything he had. Of course, they had to do this right after his marriage! One of the most expensive things a man can take on!
Oreo: After similar lawsuits, public perception of supers began to falter until eventually, the government started the "Superhero Relocation Program", which banned supers from using their abilities in public, and forcing their secret identities to become their only identities.
Cherry: In spite of arguably being the main contributor to the ban, Mr. Incredible never gave up the fight against crime, and it wasn't like it was his fault either. Given that he didn't know the context behind the... attempt. And that the robbery and train bit were primarily the faults of Buddy.
Chip: So he would continue the fight underground, but he couldn't go it alone. And while Helen, his wife, also known as Elastigirl didn't want to join him, he would instead be joined by his long-time friend and fellow former hero, Lucius Best.
Oreo: Having his abilities discovered at only 2 years old, Lucius would quickly grow to don the iconic white and blue suit he would be known for throughout his career in heroism. He would quickly become one of the coolest heroes- pun very much intended- around, with the public recognizing him as the hero... Frozone.
(music pauses)
Cherry: Who's the cat...
Chip: ...who's always chill?
(Fade in Michael Giacchino - Chill or be Chilled)
Oreo: When survival odds are close to nil...?
Cherry: Frozone!
Chip: Frozonneeeee~
Oreo: *distant* always chill, always chill
(Cut back to The Glory Days (from 0:11))
Oreo: Frozone would go on to have quite the career, being one of the most recognizable heroes during the "Golden Age".
Cherry: This fame didn't lead to anything of value for him, however, as the Mr. Incredible cartoon he was set to co-star in ended up... less than great, while he was also barred from using his notoriety to participate in the Winter Olympics.
Chip: Still, he was a hero at heart, and while this sounds pretty bad, his life was pretty good all things considered....
(music slows; decrescendo)
so of course it kind of sort of pissed him off when heroism was made unlawful.
(music continues)
Oreo: Frozone very much didn't take too well to the idea of heroism being banned, joining with Mr. Incredible to fight crime from the shadows, as mentioned before.
Cherry: He'd continue to meet with Bob in secret, but wouldn't be pulled back into the superhero game proper until Syndrome began his stunt in Metroville, using the Omnidroid to try and stage himself as a hero, only for the Omnidroid to go rogue.
Chip: So he would officially don his suit and goggles again after so long, taking on the gargantuan droid alongside Mr. Incredible, his wife who had finally gotten back into her supersuit as well, and their children: Dash, who... gimme one guess as to what his power is, and honestly get it wrong. It is as bland as his name (side tangent: like seriously if I had a nickel for every athletic blonde kid with that name from media intended for teens and are also enjoyed by adults; I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice), and Violet, who is able to turn invisible and create force fields.
Oreo: He would end up distracting the Omnidroid during the confrontation, and opening Elastigirl and Mr. Incredible to finish the job, by impaling the Omnidroid with it's own arm.
Cherry: And after that, things would start looking up again for supers. After an attack by The Underminer-
Chip: Y'know, there is some sort of joke there waiting to be made, but I cannot put my finger on it for the life of me.
Cherry: I don't think many people would care to hear it anyway, much like your voice in general.
Chip: the hell you say to me you little shi-
Cherry: He would end up being approached by a representative from a company called DevTech, who was... strangely calm about him having given him literal cold feet-
Chip: Cherry I swear you are killing me right now with these STUPID ICE PU-
Cherry: -and approached with a huge opportunity. To legally fight crime, and be super once more.
Chip: And after reporting back, having also informed Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl of this opportunity upon instruction, DevTech would begin with trying to bring supers back into the public eye, under a positive light.
Oreo: And it would be under....
*drumroll*
Elastigirl. Yeah I know you probably thought I was gonna say Frozone based on how I built this up but like of course it was gonna be Elastigirl.
Cherry: And one half-baked arc for Mr. Incredible and Frozone only really having one cool
Chip: CHERRY I AM GONNA-
Cherry: Hey, cool it, that one was unintentional :)
Chip: UGH THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME AN ANUERYSM, SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLISH SHITHOL-
Cherry: cool story bro. Anyways, one cool scene from Frozone and an ok twist villain later, the Super Relocation Program is revoked, allowing the gifted to serve others once more.
Chip: And don't think that the time away meant Frozone lost his touch, he still was able to fend off several corrupted heroes long enough for Dash and Violet to escape their new, fancy schmancy home. He knows his way around his ice.
Oreo: It's not like he can make the stuff out of thin air; just the opposite, actually. He relies on moisture to make ice. Fortunately for him, that shouldn't be a problem, since there are traces of water vapor in the air. Unless things get too hot, he basically has an infinite supply.
Cherry: Frozone has also been proven to be quite flexible in how he uses his ice, having made walls, used his ice to help stop a large yacht from moving, creating ice in front of him and riding around on it, and even having outright frozen people before!
Chip: And you'd be mistaken if you think that he just hides behind his ice, he's proven to be willing to face danger head-on, even taking a direct hit from Syndrome's 'big boss' Omnidroid as I like to call it. This Omnidroid was able to create craters on the streets with a little back-work into a punch at Violet's shield, and he was completely okay after the fact!
Oreo: He was also able to freeze a bullet while being fired at him, nigh point blank by a cop, who was also frozen by him soon after. The average bullet temperature, upon being fired, is roughly 513 degrees Fahrenheit (267 degrees Celsius). The bullet was being fired from a nine millimeter, which fires shots at around 102 per hour. So to freeze a high speed object, within the little time and space he had, his ice would have to be reaching temperatures anywhere from -500, to -800 Fahrenheit (-260 to ~427 degrees Celsius).
Cherry: And let's not forget how much he can get out of these freezing cold temperatures, as he managed to create enough snow to nullify a yacht that was set to crash into land. While he didn't slow it down too much initially while on water, he did create enough snow on land to not only cushion the impact, but also nigh match the yacht in volume. When taking into account the yacht's size, it comes out to Frozone being able to create ice at a rate of 197 cubic meters per second, expelling roughly 10 tons of TNT worth of energy.
Chip: So while Lucius has been out of the game for a while, don't think that means he's still not an incredible hero, able to take on any odds, and freeze any criminals in their tracks.
[Cop: Alright, you've had your drink, now I want you to-]
Frozone: I know, I know. Freeze.
Mei wakes up in DEATH BATTLE![]
(cue: ...And Overwatch For All)
Oreo: When climate change was running rampant worldwide, the global organization of heroes and scientists, Overwatch, would establish worldwide ecopoints in remote locations to study the phenomenon, and fight against it. One of these, was Ecopoint: Antarctica.
Cherry: Among this points members was Mei-Ling Zhou, who would make cutting edge discoveries that were capable of protecting high-risk areas in places such as Asia. She was assigned to the monitoring station at Ecopoint: Antarctica when extremely suddenly, disaster would rear its ugly head.
Chip: A massive polar storm would come when least expected, battering the facility and preventing contact with the outside world, stranding the scientists in their now heavily damaged station.
Oreo: As supplies dwindled, the crew, Mei included, would enter cryostasis until a rescue attempt could be made, this being a state where people are essentially preserved via freezing, for those unfamiliar. Before her entrance, Mei would make a recording, filled with blissful excitement for the data she'd be able to examine upon awakening, having left the sensors on.
Cherry: She would wake up, having not aged a day physically thanks to cryo, her pod was reactivated when the base had received a message, though it wasn't one strong enough to display on the base's terminals proper. She would get dressed, make tea, and look at the data that had been collected, along side the base's droid, Snowball.
Chip: It was then that Mei would find some disturbing information, discovering that it had been nine whole years since she went into cryo, much to her horror. She'd have figured that Overwatch would have come for her and her crew by then, and upon an attempt to contact the outside world, she would also discover that communications were a no-go.
Oreo: She would view some news reports accumulated during the time communications were still up, and as if to rub salt in the wounds, she would also learn that Overwatch had been disbanded, and that her Ecopoint had been deemed lost by default.
Cherry: And it was also partially because of support failing to come for them, that nobody could fix the cryo pods, which she would discover that they all, sans her own, had malfunctioned. Thus, all her crewmates had perished, with her now as the sole survivor and resident of Ecopoint: Antarctica. She would break down crying, mourning her peers, before swearing to do everything she can to get the data they'd collected to the world.
Chip: And then, she remembered she was in damn Antarctica, and that a hike home would be incredibly unrealistic. So with all vehicles incapacitated, she quickly went back inside, also knowing that the base wouldn't be able to keep power indefinitely. She would have to find a new way out, and fast.
Oreo: She had also learned during her trip out, that the dish was broken, which was what prevented outgoing transmissions. If she wanted to escape isolation (bar Snowball), she would have to reinforce the radio tower in order to reach and fix the dish. She would work to scavenge for the next several days in order to get up, working to create her famous endothermic blaster.
Cherry: This blaster would go on to be the essential thing to prepare for in combat against Mei, being her primary weapon. It is capable of slowing and freezing opponents, firing fairly large icicles, making ice walls in... weirdly the same amount of time it takes to fire an icicle, and even healing herself.
Chip: and also making Oreo inexplicably mald because he sucked at Overwatch back before they added a '2'.
Oreo: Hey! It was a hard ability to deal with!
Chip: I'm told that she was F tier, and still is.
Oreo: No she wa-
Chip: I'm also told that nobody cares what you have to say about that.
Oreo: I- er... ugh. Whatever.
Chip: She would also make a makeshift antenna for the radio tower, and would come close to completion, escape was in reach. As though it were fate cruelly taunting her, however, another problem in her already problematic situation would come for her.
Oreo: This problem would come in the form of the final battery in the base's life expiring, forcing Snowball to give his own power to allow for Mei's survival, giving her the window to finally escape the frozen hell she found herself in, but at the cost of her only remaining friend.
Cherry: Nevertheless, she still managed to persist, and would be able to go through with making her famous blaster and the antenna, and using her new ice abilities to get to the top of the tower. Finally reaching the dish, and discovering that the message sent to the base was from the big head honcho of Overwatch, Winston. Who, I gotta say... Winston is amazing. He's a gorilla with glasses and an electric blaster that likes peanut butter and slaps people all over when he gets too mad! What's there not to be charmed by?
Chip: There is so much I could say here but I won't.
Oreo: The message sent by Winston was a call to action, urging the former agents of Overwatch to come back together, and fight for their world once again! So upon paying respects to her colleagues and getting a sled of supplies, Mei would tread the harsh white blanket that is the Antarctic landscape, even being able to recharge Snowball courtesy of a solar panel she had!
Chip: Because of course the little shit just had to come back. Look I get that this is supposed to be a big light at the end of the tunnel, but it kinda feels like it undermines the impact of Snowball, Mei's FINAL FRIEND, initially dying, because Mei just happened upon that solar panel. Of course she did.
Cherry: Well to be fair, Snowball would likely be someone Mei would both be able to, and want to bring back later anyway. Both for emotional support, and given that Snowball allows access to one of her most useful abilities, Blizzard.
Chip: What other Overwatch related thing do I know that's named Blizzard and is also kills Oreo everytime he sees it?
Oreo: Bro shut-
Chip: Blizzard is Mei's ultimate move in game, and it allows Mei to launch Snowball out, creating a radial flurry that freezes those caught inside of it's eye.
[Guys I swear I'll make edits of value again once I get the last shit I need for Mei, trust bros.]
Pre-Fight[]
FIGHT![]
Post-Analysis[]
Next Time![]
Post-Episode[]
Trivia[]
- Originally, this was set to be episode two of VaporwaveS'mOREO's first season, but it was moved back in favor of Dio Brando VS Akuma