A wish came true... A dream became a reality...
This is set to become an actual Death Battle. Check out the Death Battle Wiki's page for it here!
Jason Voorhees vs. Michael Myers is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
Description[]
Friday the 13th vs Halloween! Which of these two invincible killing machines will take the cake?!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Slasher movies have been around since horror and movies existed at the same time
Boomstick: And these are two of the most iconic characters from slashers. Jason Voorhees, the hockey mask wearing homicidal maniac
Wiz: And Michael Myers, the boogeyman with a blade.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle
Jason Voorhees[]
Wiz: At Camp Crystal Lake there is only one scary story told that is actually true. The tale of Jason Voorhees.
Boomstick: The kid was born with a messed up face, got sent to camp, bullied, drowned, then came back to life as this monstrosity.
Wiz: Well first his mother started killing people, then when she died Jason started killing.
Boomstick: Whatever. He wields a machete, one of the least creative weapons in horror movie history, but certainly iconic and badass.
Wiz: He is immortal for unexplained reasons. Well he IS a zombie that's already dead so maybe that's why? No one knows.
Boomstick: Don't you ever make me think of Blazblue again. Anyway, he can take loads of punishment. He has been blown to bits, had his eyes clawed out, had huge amounts of his flesh torn out among many other impossible feats. He even won a fight against Freddy Krueger. What as badass.
Wiz: Indeed, beating the dream killing Freddy Krueger is easily one of his strongest feats. Freddy also threw him into metal like a rag doll and he survived it. He clearly has some form of regeneration, as when his eyes got clawed out they were back a few moments later
Boomstick: Wolverine eat your heart out.
Wiz: His weaknesses? He is slow and a hydrophobic. Which makes sense because...well...drowning.
Boomstick: Still don't mess with this crazy motherfucker. Who plays hockey.
Jason kills someone
Michael Myers[]
Wiz: Michael Myers was an ordinary boy. Until he murdered his own sister.
Boomstick: We're starting off on a positive note
Wiz: During his many years in asylums, he was cursed by the Cult of Thorns and become an embodiment of pure evil.
Boomstick: This drove him to murder anyone alive in his family and brutally murder them.
Wiz: He is virtually indestructible. At the end of his first film, he was shot several times, fell out of a window, and survived. He has been stabbed multiple times, had a car crashed into him, and being caught in an explosion.
Boomstick: His weapon of choice is a butcher knife and he is strong enough to pick up entire human beings and his signature move involves pinning his victim to the wall via knife. Heh heh. Nice. He's also strong enough to shove blunt abject clean through people.
Wiz: He will use anything and everything nearby him as a weapon, not just his trusty butcher knife, although we give him the knife to start out because it's his signature weapon.
Boomstick: Really his only weakness is that he's incredibly slow. There really isn't much more to talk about with this psychotic son of a bitch
Michael murders someone
DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set it's time to end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Jason and Michael run into each other in the woods
FIGHT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LONBe2A3wvM
Michael and Jason slowly walk towards each other with their weapons drawn. They begin to fight, matching blow for blow. Jason knocks the knife out of Michael's hand. Michael responds by punching Jason right in the face, knocking him back. He uses this opportunity to grab his knife and make his way towards Jason. They once again fight knife vs machete. Michael actually gets a stab in, but it is ineffective. They both hack and slash at each other, Jason regenerating the tissue soon after loosing it. Eventually, Jason gets his chance to end it. He swings his machete and cleaves Michaels head clean off. He takes the mask off of Michael, looks at his true face(which is hidden from the audience), then throws the mask away and walks off.
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: I wonder what the reception will be on that one...
Wiz: When do you ever care?
Boomstick: When it's anime and my email gets flooded.
Wiz: Whatever. Anyway, in order for this fight to work you have to suspend your disbelief for a moment. What I mean by that is, you have to assume one can kill the other eventually.
Boomstick: Jason has taken way worse punishment than Michael, and beat Freddy Krueger.
Wiz: Michael has never fought an opponent similar to Krueger in ANY respect. Not only that, but Jason's hydrophobia is a specific weakness that could only be applied at certain locations such as if the fight took place at Crystal lake.
Boomstick: Even if they were near a body of water, there is a low chance Michael would even KNOW about Jason's weakness. Also Machete>Butcher Knife. Looks like Michael just was way to unlucky. Get it? Because Friday the-
Wiz: The winner is Jason Voorhees
Michael Myers vs. Jason Voorhees is a What-If? episode of Death Battle by Grantango.
Description[]
Halloween vs Friday the 13th! These two have been slasher rival for years! Will Michael Myers stop Jason Voorhees, or will he be unlucky on this night?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Murderers strike fear in those that they hunt, especially whenever they wear a mask.
Boomstick: And it can get very personal when family is involved, like Michael Myers, the Boogeyman.
Wiz: And Jason Voorhees, the terror of Crystal Lake.
Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And today we will analyze their armor, weapons, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Rules[]
-This battle will only use the original versions of each character.
-The fight will also take into consideration the comics of both franchises that are both canon and associated with their respective franchises.
-Both Halloween timelines will be taken into consideration for Michael Myers.
-I will be updating the fight as I do more research.
-Unlike the previous person's version, this battle will end in a death that does not involve Wiz and Boomstick removing both character's "immunity" from death.
Sources Used[]
Halloween:
-Halloween Movies (1 through Resurrection)
-Halloween (1978 Novelization)
-Halloween (Comic)
-Halloween II: The Blackest Eyes
-Halloween III: The Devil's Eyes
-Halloween: Nightdance
-Call of Duty: Ghosts
Friday the 13th:
-Friday the 13th Movies (Part I through Jason X)
-Freddy vs. Jason
-Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash
-Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors
-Friday the 13th: Pamela's Tale
-Mortal Kombat X
Michael Myers[]
Boomstick: It was the year 2026. All of South America joined forces to form the Federation and planned to take over the Western Hemisphere. However, a military group called the Ghosts rose up to put a stop to their conquest. One of their biggest battles was in a very scary swamp. However, their battle awoke a man who would slaughter them all, and his name was Michael Myers!
Wiz: Oh, come on! Are you really going to use that as an introduction?
Boomstick: Yeah. What's wrong with that?
Wiz: That isn’t even canon!
Boomstick: Are you sure, Wiz?
Wiz: Yes, I'm sure. Here is the ACTUAL origin story of Michael Myers.
Biography:
Full Name: Michael Audrey Myers
Nicknames: Boogeyman, The Shape, Evil on Two Legs
Birthdate: October 19, 1957
Has two sisters, a niece (4-6 timeline), and a nephew (H20 Timeline)
Becomes active on Halloween
Wiz: Michael Audrey Myers was born on October 19, 1957 in Haddonfield, Illinois. Michael Myers lived as an ordinary boy for 6 years until young Michael started receiving strange things.
Boomstick: Michael started receiving some strange nightmares and a voice telling him to kill his own family. It all started building up until on Halloween night in 1963, Michael finally murdered his own sister.
A young Michael kills his sister, Judith
Wiz: Turns out that Michael Myers was possessed by a demon. Depending on what timeline you look at, he was possessed either because of a curse by the Cult of Thorn or....just because.
Boomstick: After killing his own sister, Michael was taken to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium where he became a patient of Dr. Samuel Loomis, who described Michael as being the full embodiment of evil.
Dr. Loomis: I met this six-year-old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face and the blackest eyes, the devil’s eyes... I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil.
Wiz: While at the Sanitarium, Michael became silent. He injured and killed some his roommates and even killed Dr. Loomis’s fiancée and got away with it.
Boomstick: Wow.
Wiz: Years later, on the eve of Halloween in 1978, Michael Myers broke out of the Sanitarium, intending to begin his slaughter of his family once again.
Boomstick: When did he learn to drive a car?
Wiz: No one knows. His main target was his younger sister, Laurie Strode, who had been adopted as her and Michael’s parents had died in a car crash. However, this has not stopped him from killing other people who would simply cross his path.
Boomstick: Michael Myers is an amazing killer. He is able to use any weaponry that is around, but his favorite toy is the kitchen knife, the same weapon he used to kill his older sister. He is also strong enough to hold a human up, strangle a dog, and can even smash through a metal gate.
Wiz: He can also crush a human skull, which requires 1,100 pounds of force to crush. And despite being silent, he is actually pretty smart. He is able to lure his victims out and disguises himself as other people even using other people as decoys to escape difficult situations.
Boomstick: Michael Myers can even use guns. Now normal people use a gun to shoot people, but Michael Myers STABS people with them!
Michael Myers stabs Kelly Meeker with a shotgun
Wiz: Regardless of the weird, unorthodox ways he kills his victims, he is still able to use any weapon.
Boomstick: Michael also really hates it when you enter his childhood home. One time, a bunch of teenagers were creating a TV show inside the Myer’s house. Michael didn’t like that at all and started to kill all of them one by one.
Wiz: Aside from his weapons and dislikes, Michael Myers is very durable.
Boomstick: It’s like he has some kind of healing factor. He can take multiple gunshots to the stomach and to the face! He also survived falling off a building, getting electrocuted, getting caught on fire, an exploding church, and received over 10 hits to the head from a metal pipe!
Wiz: This would be more than enough to kill a person, but not Michael Myers.
Boomstick: Wow! This guy sounds unstoppable!
Wiz: While he may be very durable, he isn’t exactly unstoppable. If someone is able to toy with his emotions and convince him that they can break the curse, he will calm down. This was how his niece, Jamie, convinced him to take off his own mask.
Boomstick: Huh.
Wiz: However, if one goes too far, he can go back into a rage. It’s as if he wants to break the curse but can’t.
Boomstick: Michael Myers is also slow, very slow! I mean, his victims can easily escape him!
Wiz: He may also have some sort of weakness to fire as the first time he was on fire, he fell into a coma. Now, don’t mishear that. Michael can’t DIE from fire. It’s just that fire simply weakens him, but it doesn’t kill him.
Boomstick: Regardless of his drawbacks, Michael is still a dangerous foe that no one should encounter.
Laurie Strode: Was it the Boogeyman?
Dr. Loomis: As a matter of fact, it was.
Jason Voorhees[]
Wiz: In the year 1979, a bunch of Camp Counselors were hanging out around Camp Crystal Lake.
Boomstick: They were getting ready for the reopening of the campsite, but all they really wanted to do is have sex.
Wiz: However, some psycho was going around, killing everyone at the campsite.
Boomstick: Soon, the killer revealed himself, and his name was Jason….’s MOTHER?!
Pamela Voorhees: Well, I’m Mrs. Voorhees, a friend of the Christie’s.
Boomstick: Are you telling me that Jason Voorhees, that guy in the hockey mask, is the main villain of the whole franchise, AND HE’S NOT EVEN IN THE FIRST MOVIE!?
Pamela Voorhees: Kill them, mother! Kill them!
Wiz: Technically, he is. He’s just supposed to be dead.
Boomstick: What?
Biography
Full name: Jason Voorhees
Born June 13, 1946
Has a sister, niece, great-niece, and a son
Born with hydrocephalus
Has died and been revived three times (possibly four)
Wiz: Jason Voorhees was born in 1946 to Elias and Pamela Voorhees.
Boomstick: Well, technically, yes, but there’s more to the story. You see, while pregnant with Jason, Pamela Voorhees somehow was able to communicate with Jason while he was in the womb. As a result, he, somehow, began to influence Pamela’s actions, like convincing Pamela to kill her abusive husband with an axe. Aww… Jason never got to meet his dad. Reminds me of myself.
Wiz: However, the horror didn’t end there. When he was born, the doctors were horrified by what they saw. Jason was born with hydrocephalus and multiple facial defects. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
Boomstick: Oh, come one. He doesn’t look that bad…
Shows a young Jason’s face
Boomstick: … OH MY GOD!
Wiz: It was a face that only a mother could love, literally.
Boomstick: Anyway, Pamela was offered a job at Camp Crystal Lake as a cook. Because she couldn’t find a babysitter, she had Jason join the rest of the kids at the camp.
Wiz: However, the kids constantly bullied because of his looks. They bullied him so much that he fell into the lake and drowned.
Boomstick: Where were the counselors, you may ask? Oh, I don’t know, having sex. Does anyone NOT have sex in these movies?
Wiz: Distraught over her son’s death, Pamela brought Jason back to life using a book called the Necronomicon Ex Mortis. Jason then built a shack in the woods where he would live off the land for several decades.
Boomstick: Pamela then killed two counselors the next year to shut the camp down, and she succeeded. Over the years, Pamela would sabotage any chance to reopen the camp, until she finally met her end in 1979 at the hands of Alice Hardy.
Shows Alice beheading Pamela
Wiz: After apparently seeing his mother’s death, Jason took his mother’s remains and created an altar out of them and then killed his mother’s killer. From that day forward, Jason would kill anyone who walked onto the shores of Crystal Lake… and Manhattan, for some reason.
Boomstick: And you better be sure that the first time those trespassers saw that hockey mask, they were terrified at first sight!
Wiz: Jason actually originally wore a leather sack. He didn’t wear the hockey mask until the 3rd movie.
Boomstick: What… so first, Jason wasn’t the original killer, next he DIDN’T originally wear the hockey mask. What’s next? Jason iconic weapon DIDN’T a machete for first few movies?
Wiz: Yes, but it wasn’t used all that often, and it didn’t really become iconic until the fifth movie.
Boomstick: Goddammit!
Wiz: Speaking of which, Jason can use basically any weapon that is around him other than his machete. While he also doesn’t use guns, he has used a harpoon gun before.
Boomstick: Jason is also extremely strong. He has broken through cement and ripped people apart. One time, he uppercutted a guy so hard his head came off! That’s some Johnny Cage shit right there!
Wiz: Along with being very strong, he is an expert stalker, hiding in the shadows until the right moment.
Boomstick: Completing his horror movie trope list, he is basically unkillable. He can take gunshots, an axe to the head, being chained underwater with a motor cutting his throat, electricity, and toxic sludge! This is mostly because of his healing factor.
Wiz: Now this healing factor doesn’t instantly heal Jason’s wounds like Deadpool or Wolverine. It takes some time for his body to heal. For example, in Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash, Jason’s arm was sawed off by Ash Williams. It didn’t come back so Jason had to use his machete as a makeshift arm. It is also very inconsistent. Sometimes, he can grow back his eyes, while other times they don't.
Boomstick: Speaking of which, Jason has faced off against powerful foes, like Tina, a telekinetic girl, Freddy Krueger, and Ash Williams. One time, Jason Voorhees was traveling the Netherrealm when he found its ruler, Liu Kang. Liu Kang offered Jason lead his undead army. Jason declined the offer by strangling Liu Kang with his intestines.
Wiz: Again, that isn't even canon!
Boomstick: IT'S CANON TO ME WIZ!
Wiz: Regardless of canonicity, Jason's win/loss record isn’t that impressive. Jason’s fights with Freddy and Ash had a lot of interference and he lost against Tina.
Boomstick: But does that mean that Jason isn’t perfect?
Wiz: Yeah... he has the fear of water.
Boomstick: Huh?!
Freddy Kreuger: Oh. So you are afraid of something after all.
Boomstick: Okay, look. I can buy the fact that Jason wasn’t the original killer and that he didn’t always wear a hockey mask, but the fear of water?! He has gone into water without hesitation and took out victims from underwater! How does he fear water?!
Wiz: Bad writing, probably. However, that isn't the only weakness that Jason has.
Boomstick: Jason is slower than the average human and he is a momma’s boy.
Wiz: If someone can accurately impersonate Jason’s mother, they can control what Jason does. In fact, it is Jason’s mother that tells Jason what to do.
Boomstick: However, should his body be destroyed to a point where he can’t use it, he can possess other people’s bodies and find the closest living female relative of Jason to inhabit.
Wiz: According to Creighton Duke, the only TRUE way to kill Jason is for a member of the Voorhees family to stab Jason with an enchanted knife, or, according to Tommy Jarvis, just be Tommy Jarvis…apparently.
Boomstick: But whatever you do, do NOT take a vacation at Crystal Lake.
Creighton Duke: Jason Voorhees, the true Jason Voorhees is something you and I haven’t seen before, Mr. Campbell.
Death Battle Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It’s time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle![]
It’s Halloween night at Crystal Lake. Mrs. Myers is at the camp training to be a counselor for the reopening of Camp Crystal Lake so that, hopefully, Michael Myers wouldn’t find her. While inside a lodge along with Jerry and Pete, Mrs. Myers hears a scream coming from upstairs. Next thing Myers knows is that a head of her best friend, Leslie, had fallen into her lap. She looks up and sees Jason Voorhees over the edge of the railing.
“Oh my god!” Mrs. Myers exclaimed, trying to process her mind about who this is.
“If this isn’t Michael, then who is it?”
Not wanting to die, Mrs. Myers and her friends run out of the lodge into the woods. They stop for a bit when Pete says “Shouldn’t we call the police?” He then grabs his cell phone and calls 911.
A policeman arrives in his car and is about to walk to the camp. However, a masked man is in the way.
“Get out of the way, will yah?! This is serious business!”
The masked man just stares at him.
“Go on now! Don’t make me arrest you too-“
Michael Myers suddenly grabs the police officer and bangs his face against the hood of the car until he’s dead.
Meanwhile, the counselors are waiting for the policeman arrives until Jerry says, “Fuck this! I’m outta here!”
“No! Don’t go! We have to stay together!” Pete says.
Jerry starts running away.
“Should we go after him?” Myers asks.
Pete replies, “Yes. We have to stay together.”
The two run in the direction of Jerry. What they saw next terrified them. Michael Myers was crushing their friend’s head. After Jerry is killed, Michael looks up at Myers, focusing on his main target.
“No, no, no, NO!” exclaims Myers. “I was hoping you wouldn’t come here! Why?!”
Pete says, “Come on. Let’s go.”
As Matt turns around he is suddenly stabbed in the face by Jason Voorhees. Mrs. Myers screams and runs away, leaving Michael and Jason together. They simply stare at each other not knowing what to do.
Pamela’s voice speaks to Jason. “I was hoping you wouldn’t meet him. This man is too evil to be living. Kill him, Jason! Kill him!”
Jason, machete in hand, then starts to walk forward towards Michael. Michael, kitchen knife in hand, prepares for the oncoming fight.
FIGHT!
Jason is about to stab Michael when Michael grabs Jason’s hand and throws Jason to the side. Jason get gets back up and grabs Michael’s hand who was about to grab his throat. Michael then kicks Jason backwards and prepares to stab Jason. Jason also prepares to stab. Both of their weapons impale each other in the stomach.
Both slashers stumble back to pull out the other’s respective weapons. When both of them look up, they are surprised that the other isn’t dead. Jason punches Michael in the face while Michael kicks Jason between the legs. However, Jason doesn’t react as he simply looks down then back up at Michael. Jason does a simple uppercut to push Michael back.
Michael finds a pitchfork right next to him and rams it into Jason’s stomach and into a tree. Jason struggles as he tries to pull the pitchfork out of the tree. With Jason held back, Michael takes his knife and follows his family member’s trail.
Mrs. Myers has hidden herself in a barn. Michael opens up the barn and locks the door. Mrs. Myers starts to cry as Michael starts to walk toward her. Michael lifts up his knife to go for the final kill when there is banging on the barn door.
Michael turns around to see that the door is moving back and forth. A hand bursts through the door and removes the lock. Afterwards, Jason kicks open the door ready to kill Michael Myers once and for all. Jason sprints toward Michael with his machete. Michael holds onto Jason trying to hold him back. Mrs. Myers leaves the barn to escape the killers to grab some gasoline. She pours the gasoline all around the barn to burn the place to the ground.
Michael pushes Jason into a metal spike and stabs his knife into Jason’s eye. Seeing that this won’t kill Jason, Michael prepares to crush Jason’s head. Jason then grabs Michael’s arms and rips them off. Michael stumbles back while Jason gets off the spike and pulls out the knife. Jason grabs his machete and picks up Michael. As the barn continues to burn, the two slashers look each other dead in the eyes, then Jason decapitates Michael. Jason pulls the mask off of Michael (hidden from the camera) to see his real face. Jason then looks up as the barn collapses on him and Michael’s body.
After the smoke clears, Jason’s hand punches its way out of the rubble.
KO!
Jason is at his mom’s alter with a new head, Michael’s head, on it along with Pamela’s head and Alice’s head.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Well, that’s one slasher to remove from my “Who to look out for” list.
Wiz: Both Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees are strong, terrifying killers that are almost invincible; key word is “almost.”
Boomstick: Neither Michael nor Jason could come up with any emotion to trigger the other’s emotional weaknesses and neither of them could use their human slaughter skills on the other as neither of them are normal humans. Both of them can also take a lot of punishment. So, the question was “Can Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees kill the other?”
Wiz: While Jason has died before, this was because Tommy Jarvis for some reason has some unique power to kill Jason, which is why Jason as a “human” has taken an axe to the head and survived. The only other way to kill Jason at this point is for a Voorhees to stab Jason with an enchanted knife.
Boomstick: Since Michael Myers is neither of the Voorhees bloodline, nor is he Tommy Jarvis, Michael could not kill Jason. So, could Jason kill Michael?
Wiz: Yes, surprisingly. The Halloween franchise is separated into two timelines: The 4-6 timeline; consisting of Halloween 1, 2, and 4-6; and the H20 timeline, consisting of Halloween 1, 2, H20, and Resurrection. In the comic Halloween III: The Devil’s Eyes, which takes place in the 4-6 timeline, has a sequence of events that are almost exactly like Halloween H20. However, in this timeline, Laurie Strode did not kill a paramedic in a Michael Myers suit but the actual Michael Myers. As such, decapitation CAN kill Michael Myers.
Boomstick: And if you’re not convinced that Michael can also die in the H20 timeline, check this out. In an alternate ending to Halloween: Resurrection, Michael is about to kill Busta Rhymes when Sarah Moyer took an axe and implanted into Michael Myers, killing him once and for all.
Wiz: Sure, it’s an alternate ending, but it is an ending to a canon source.
Boomstick: Even if we removed invulnerability from both combatants, Jason still beats Michael in every category. Both Michael and Jason are slow, however, while Michael can only fast walk, Jason can at least fast walk or possibly sprint. Michael also struggles rip humans apart while Jason has removed limbs and ripped people apart without any effort.
Wiz: Jason also is more experienced than Michael. Regardless of his win/loss record, he has fought more powerful beings such as Tina, Freddy Krueger, and Ash Williams.
Boomstick: Michael Myers has NEVER faced anyone like those people.
Wiz: And even if Michael was somehow able to destroy Jason’s body, Jason’s soul would just possess Michael and take him to the closest female relative of Jason where Jason would transfer bodies and Michael would just melt away. That’s just what happens to the original host’s body.
Boomstick: I adMYER Michael’s awesomeness, but it was good KNIFE for Michael.
Wiz: The winner is Jason Voorhees.
Intro[]
Necro: To murder is to end a human’s life violently and unnaturally, and murder is an art that has been prefected over many years of practice.
Mercer: And two of the most experienced of the macabre artists happen to be today’s combatants!
Necro: Michael Myers, The Shape of Evil!
Mercer: And Jason Voorhees, The undead killer of Camp Crystal Lake!
Necro: Given the many incarnations of these two killers, we will only be using the movie series and their closely tied media.
Mercer: He’s Necro and I’m Mercer.
Necro: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Micheal Myers Maskes up for a DEATH BATTLE![]
Necro: Throughout the many different versions of Michael Myers, many things conflict, but one thing remains the same. Micheal Myers brutally, coldly and heartlessly stabbed his big sister to death when he was only a child on Halloween Night.
Mercer: And he was then sent to a psychiatric facility and put under the care of Doctor Samual Loomis. And he stayed in that facility until Halloween Night, some thirty years later. He broke out, killing anyone who got in his way, with only one thing on his agenda for the night. To kill his little sister, Laurie Strode.
Necro: But of course, Michael would need a good number of skills on his side to get to Laurie, such as his superhuman physical strength. Micheal can easily overpower and kill dogs and grown men, even being able to rip them limb from limb in some incarnations, a feat which can take up to 4239 joules to pull off! Michael’s freakish strength has allowed him to pull off feats that are much, much greater than any normal, or even peak human, such as being able to lift a large headstone by himself. Such stones can weigh up to 800 lbs, which is 51 lbs greater than the world record for deadlifting, which is 749 lbs!
Mercer: In the Rob Zombie Timeline, Michael was able to lift and flip a car with a small amount of difficulty, and in the most recent 2018 timeline, Micheal can easily rip a kitchen counter apart with his bare hands, so his strength should be pretty consistent.
Necro: But when it comes to speed, Michael is actually quite fast for his size, easily being able to blitz peak humans with ease, as well as being able to move so fast that it appears that he can teleport.
Popup: It could appear that Michael is capable of teleportation, but it is also possible that, given his speed that he’s just dashing around quickly to avoid being seen by others.
Mercer: As for reactions, Michael has in fact avoided gunfire before. Samual Loomis shot at Michael, and Michael avoided the bullet by sidestepping it. Given Michael’s distance from Loomis, which should be about twenty-six feet, and the gun Loomis was using, which seems to be a revolver of some sort and finally adding in the muzzle velocity of most revolvers, which is about 511 m/s, give or take, we found that Michael would have to have reacted at about Mach 1.488.
Necro: But, it’s not like Michael really needs to dodge gunfire, given the fact that he can easily tank gunfire with out much of an issue at all! For example, Michael was shot in the chest with a Remington shotgun at point blank range. A Remington shotgun’s maximum Attack Potency is just under 5000 joules, and Michael was literally unaffected by this attack!
Mercer: But that’s not even the peak of Michael’s durability! In Halloween II, Michael was caught in the epicenter of a propane explosion, and he managed to not only survive it, but also keep right on walking after the blast hit him. Granted, He did eventually collapse after the blast, but he still survived it.
Necro: And then in Halloween IV, Michael was blasted by dozens of police officers, most of which were using a heavy firearm called an ATK-11. These guns are capable of ripping a human being to bits and pieces in just a few seconds. Considering the amount of energy needed to smash a human to bits, which is just a bit under 400 Kilojoules, Michael’s durability is absolutely absurd, as he was able to not only take this kind of damage for a solid minute and a half, he then survived traveling down a river, while being tossed against the rocks and such for about an hour.
Mercer: Michael may seem unstoppable...but he kind of...is. Because Michael isn’t just a superhuman serial killer. He’s also supernatural. Michael has various inhuman powers, such as his illusion casting and insane stealth. He shares a telepathic connection with his family, and if you somehow manage to kill Michael, he can get back up thanks to The Curse Of Thorn. Before Michael was born, he was cursed by a cult which worshipped the demon Thorn, who made Michael unable to die until his entire family is dead.
Popup: Technically, While Michael has a possession ability, it only works on other members of his family, making it unusable in a debate like this one, as it would require outside help to use.
Necro: Well, not exactly. Michael has been “killed” through decapitation, but it only stopped him until the next Halloween night/movie.
Mercer: Great. Inconsistencies via cash grab.
Necro: However, Michael has one more trick up his sleeve. He’s devilishly intelligent. For example, take a look at the H20 timeline. At the end of the first film, Michael was inevitably outsmarted by Laurie Strode, and he was knocked out by Laurie and put in a body bag in the back of an ambulance. Michael waited until Laurie left to talk to the police, and then he got out of the body bag and knocked the Paramedic out and switched clothes with him, and put the paramedic in the body bag and then escaped.
Mercer: Michael is also quite skilled with a kitchen knife, so that's cool.
Necro: Well, really anything he can get his hands on, but the knife is his most iconic weapon, so....yeah.
Mercer: So, Michael may have superhuman physicals, supernatural powers and he may be very intelligent, but he still gets his ass kicked by Laurie and Loomis or some other family member, including his nine year old niece EVERY. FUCKING. MOVIE. OR COMIC.
Necro: Yeah. Michael is rather susceptible to trickery, and of course, dying. Ya see, Michael has in fact died in at least one timeline. Granted, it took one hell of a lot to put him down, but he still died.
Mercer: And Michael seems to be susceptible to uncontrollable outbursts of rage, in which he has often lost any advantage over Laurie or whoever he happens to be stalking.
Necro: But even then, Michael most certainly proved one thing. Evil is very, very...persistent.
(Michael Myers Impales a Teenager with his knife and stares at him, tilting his head.)
Jason Voorhees Rises for DEATH BATTLE![]
Necro: Jason Voorhees was born deformed. His head was a good bit larger than it should have been. As a result of this, hs father shunned him and his mother smothered him with love. When he was eleven years old, his father was killed in a mining accident, so Jason’s mom had to get a job.
Mercer: She got a job as a cook at Camp Crystal Lake. Everything went well, that is until Jason was bullied by a group of kids because of his looks. It started out slow. Verbal abuse. And then the Physical abuse started, until it finally escalated to murder. The kids pushed him into the lake. He drowned. The counselors could have saved him. But they were busy making out, ‘80’s style. Necro: So, a few years later, His mother snapped and murdered all of the counselors who could have saved him. That is until she decapitated with an oar. Ouch.
Mercer: And thanks to this, Jason rises from the dead on every Friday the 13th to kill anything in his path. And he often does this with his trusty machete, which he can use to deadly efficiency, easily being able to rip through people like butter.
Necro: Well, it’s not like he really needs it, as he can easily tear people apart with his bear hands anyway, once more, such a feat is equivalent to 4.2 kilojoules of energy.
Mercer: Jason can and has outrun chaingun fire, which fire at 805m/s or 1800mph, so he can run pretty fast for someone of his size, I mean this guy’s fricken huge! He’s six foot five, which makes him comparable to heavyweight boxers like Mike Tyson in size!
Necro: Jason can easily crush a person’s skull with a stomp, and crush a man’s head with incredible ease, as he can even smash through wooden doors as if they were paper! The amount of energy needed to destroy a wooden door is equivalent to about 516 kilojoules of energy.
Mercer: Jason, despite not really having all that much schooling is quite smart, easily being able to set traps for teenagers, with them actually falling into them. Jason is skilled with almost every single type of weapon in the book, like spears, axes, bows and arrows as well as the obvious bladed ones.
Necro: Actually, Jason has a couple of supernatural powers himself, like his instant teleportation, or his ability to possess people after death. That’s right, if you somehow manage to kill Jason, he can simply force you to eat his heart, or he can send his slug soul thing out to enter your body through whatever orifice is closest.
Mercer: Yeesh. That’s incentive to stay out of this guy’s way, isn’t it?
Necro: Indeed. Jason is notoriously hard to kill. He’s been shot, stabbed, blown up, drowned and he was even sent to Hell, and that didn’t even kill him!
Mercer: He’s even fought against a girl with absurd psychic power, as she was easily able to collapse a dock, a feat which should be equivalent to about four million joules of energy. And he powered right through it! I mean, the girl did defeat him and chain him to a rock underneath Camp Crystal Lake, but regardless of win/loss records, Jason’s best feat by far comes from his fight with Jason X, a clone of himself, who is in fact superior to Jason himself.
Necro: Jason X, or Uber Jason can smash down steel doors, defeat teams of trained soldiers with ease and even survive a fall from orbit! Granted, that did do significant damage to him, but Jason X still pulled through like a total champ! Mercer: If Jason’s fight with Jason X proves anything, it proves that he can cope with opponents with superhuman strength and speed without much difficulty. However, his fight with the infamous Freddy Kruger proves that, when fighting an opponent with not only a superhuman physicality, but far more and far superior supernatural powers, that he’s at a total disadvantage.
Necro: And frankly, even when Freddy WAS in the real world, Jason had a rough time taking him out. I mean, Jason even had the home court advantage!
Popup: Granted, this could likely be attributed to poor writing, as when Jason was in similar situations with other fighters on his level, he kept up rather easily.
Mercer: Yeah, Jason may have had a rough time with Freddy, but he still won. In fact, the only time Jason has ever really lost was when he took on that Psychic girl. She sorta whooped his ass.
Necro: Whatever. Weakness time. Jason is still a child, mentally at least, and he, like every other 1980’s slasher has fallen for some pretty stupid stuff, such as a girl who looked nothing like his mother managing to trick him through wearing his mother’s sweater and being condescending.
Mercer: Anyway, Jason rarely tries to avoid any type of attack that’s thrown at him, even if he could avoid it. Like, it’s insane. We know he sees it, but he can’t seem to connect that dodging an attack means that you won't get hurt.
Necro: Yes, Mercer. We have established that Jason isn’t the sharpest blade on the machete, but his sheer accomplishments prove that this doesn’t really matter all that much. That and his incrediblly inconstitent fear of water. So, it would seem as though Jason has no really glaring weaknesses.
Mercer: That’s just great. *ugh*
Necro: When Friday the 13th rolls around, be sure to stay far, far away from Camp Crystal Lake, or Jason will come for you. And chances are, you won’t survive.
(Jason Voorhees steps out of the lake, and his theme sounds. Chi-Chi-Chi-Ra-Ra-Ra)
Intermission[]
Necro: All right, the combatants are set, and the data's been run through all possibilities.
Mercer: it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
The Final Halloween-Fight[]
The year is 2011. The day, October 31st, or Halloween Night.
As a cool, ominous breeze blew through Laurie Strode’s hair, she was already waiting for Her older brother, Michael Myers, to make his first move. He had tried to kill her every Halloween night for decades now, but this year, she had prepared for him. She would end things this year. She was sure of it.
Laurie had evaded Michael last year with the unwilling help of the Sawyer Family. They had wanted to kill her as well, but Michael had busted in and distracted them long enough for her to get away. As she ran, she remembered hoping that Bubba Sawyer could put him down, as well as knowing that the hope was foolish at the same time. The eleven o’clock news told her the story she knew would be the main headline. Bubba “Leatherface” Sawyer was dead. As was the rest of the Sawyer family.
For a second, she had almost felt bad for them. But then she remembered what she had seen behind that door. The bone art. The meat hooks. And worst of all, the skin. Laurie wished it wasn’t true, but she truly felt...relieved that they were dead. But none of that mattered. Laurie had to focus on the future, specifically what the night would bring. She knew Michael was waiting for her at home. Which is why she had moved close to Camp Crystal Lake. If the tales of Jason Voorhees were true (and she hoped they were), then her Boogeyman may very well be no more by the end of the night.
Laurie sighed and walked underneath the rotting, ruined sign that read: Welcome To Camp Crystal Lake. It was almost midnight, and the moon was full. Mist oozed off of the lake, which did in fact look somewhat like a crystal in the moonlight. The mist collected around the ground, and rose to about the mid range of Laurie’s calf. The air felt tense, as if it could crack and fall to pieces at any second.
Michael’s approach was silent, like it always was. He approached his little sister slowly, and he raised his trusty butcher knife, intending to end this night quickly and quietly. One hearty jab, and he knew Laurie would die. But just as he reached her and raised his knife, ready and just about to strike, something stopped him. It was a faint sound. Like a breath being taken. But to the best of Myers’ knowledge, he and Laurie were the only ones at this Camp. Soon to only be himself, if everything went his way. So he thought about stepping back from Laurie. And then, a a voice sounded in his head.
“Michael, do it. Do not falter now.” The voice belonged to his older sister. His first victim.
“I miss my baby sister, Michael. Could you bring her to me?” She asked in a pleading tone.
Michael nodded slowly. He was going to end things tonight. There were no more psycho families to help Laurie this time. He raised his blade to strikie once more, his heart and soul unwavering. But now anouther sound distracted him.
Chi-Chi-Chi,Ra-Ra-Ra
Michael looked in the direction of the ghostly chant. The surface of the lake had been disturbed. The tension in the air had reached an even greater height. A single ripple pushed forward from the center of the lake, dispelling once it reached the shore.
SPLASH!!!!
Just as the sound reached Michael, a massive, hulk of a figure lept out of the lake and landed on the dock, causing it to tremble and creak from the sheer force of his leap.
The legends were true. For this, was Jason Voorhees, the undead mass murderer.
This sound, caused Laurie to turn. She was right. Michael had followed her. And now, Jason stood not even a full sixty feet from her. She drew her pistol from her waist band. Pointed it at her brother. And fired.
CRACK!
Given the tension, the sound was deafening. Michael sidesteped the bullet and thrust his knife at Laurie, aiming for her throat.
Time seemed to slow as The Shape’s blade neared Laurie’s throat.
“Jason! KIll Him Jason! This man could kill you!” Pamela Voorhees’ voice shouted in Jason’s head. Her son reacted instantly, Dashing across the dock and shoving his machete in the knife’s path.
Time sped up again as thier blades met. Sparks flew as the tip of the knife hit the flat of the machete. Laurie took this momentary distraction to turn and run away at top speed, Dashing through the Camp Grounds, searching for a place to hide, eventually deciding on a tool shed.
Michael pulled his blade back swiftly, a move that was mirrored by Jason. The tension had broken. The moon shown down on both slashers. It was midnight, now. This night was going to be one slasher’s final halloween.
Jason made the first move, swinging his machete in a brutal overhanded swing, a swing that could easily split skulls if it were to land. Michael sidestepped the strike and socked Jason in the gut, staggering the hulking zombie a little bit. Jason recovered quickly and slammed Michael in the chest with his elbow, also staggering the Boogeyman a little bit. Michael grabbed a hold of Jason’s arm and stabbed him in the shoulder, and a little bit of grey blood leaked out of the wound.
Jason responded by hacking into Michael’s forearm, Michael’s crimson blood spurting from the wound.
Both killers looked down at their wounds at the same time. Then, back up at each other. The Shape and the Zombie yanked their blades out of each other, and punched at each other, their fists meeting with a mighty crash! Jason slashed at Michael once more, the Boogeyman parrying the attack with his knife in the nick of time, several orange sparks flying from the blades as they met.
Michael struck Jason in the stomach once more, putting more power into his strike this time. This time, Michael’s strike staggered Jason, pushing the Camp Slasher back a few paces. Myers attempted to follow up with another powerful blow, but Jason caught his fist this time. The rotting, dead eyes that peered from behind Jason’s hockey mask burned with hatred for his opponent. Michael and Jason pushed with all their might, their arms trembling from the sheer amounts of power they poured into their arms.
But after several seconds of this, Both sides knew that the effort was futile, so they abandoned their struggle and slammed their blades into each other, a massive clang sounding, and another shower of sparks flying and disappearing into the fog. They slashed again, and again and again until finally, their blades shattered into pieces with the fifth strike, the shards flying all over the place. Michael looked down at his splintered blade, and Jason did the same.
Michael hurled the handel at Jason and then charged at him, lowering his shoulder to bash his enemy away. Jason threw his handle as well, knocking Michael’s out of the way, both hilts spinning off into the darkness of the surrounding forest. Jason quickly charged Michael, lowering his shoulder as well, with the same intent as Myers.
The slashers collided, and were both knocked sprawling into the damp, foggy grass. Jason was the first one up. As he looked around for The Shape, he noticed an old, rusty axe leaning against a rotting stump. He quickly stomped over to the stump and grabbed the axe, and stalked towards Michael, who was just now getting up off of the ground. The Undead Slasher swung the axe downwards at Michael, who caught the haft of the axe and snapped it into splinters, he then quickly caught the falling axe head, and he then drove that axe head into Jason’s mid section.
Jason grunted and grabbed Michael’s head and slammed it into his knee, The Shape’s reaction was similar to Jason’s. A mere grunt in response to the pain. Myers’ grabbed Voorhees’ arm and flipped him over his back, effectively landing both killers’ flat on their backs.
Michael knew that this approach of trying to out muscle his opponent just wasn’t working, considering that they were evenly matched. Michael leapt up quickly and melted into the long shadows of the pine trees, in search of another weapon. Jason sat up and looked around for Michael, and upon not finding him, he teleported away, also in search of a weapon. Michael slunk around until he reached the camp kitchen, and upon finding it, he walked in and armed himself with a cleaver, then turning sharply and stomping soundlessly out of the kitchen.
Jason walked into the camp’s barn and grabbed a pitchfork and turned to face Michael, who had attempted to sneak up on Jason, the Crystal Lake Slasher thrusting his pitchfork at Jason, who chopped one of the prongs off with his cleaver.
Jason looked at his pitchfork, minorly disappointed at it’s lack of durability. After a second, Michael struck again, and Jason parried with his pichfork, costing him the other prong. Jason quickly hurled the haft like a javelin, and Michael barely managed to avoid the haft, which smashed through the wooden walls of the barn and continued to fly into the darkness.
Michael Advanced on the now weapon-less Jason, who rectifed this by arming himself with a sickle, then quickly slashing at Michael, aiming for his throat, the Shape of Evil stepping back and avoiding the attack in that manner. Michael attacked with his cleaver, his blade’s attack being deflected by Jason’s sickle. Jason took adavantage of this situation by elbowing Myers in the face and then stomping on his foot and grinding with his heel. Michael grunted and jabbed Jason in the throat, who grunted and uppercut Michael in the chin, knocking the Shape airborne.
The Shape landed in a heap on the rotting floors of the barn, crashing through them and slamming into the ground, a deafening THUD cascading through out the camp.
Chi-Chi-Chi,Ra-Ra-Ra
Michael growled as Jason approached, sickle in hand. Michael adjusted his grip on his cleaver and pushed himself up. Michael was angry now.
Voorhees and Myers quickly moved towards each other, blades in hand, ready to kill with even more fury burning within thier souls than should be humanly possible. Granted, Niether Michael nor Jason were really human, where they?
Michael attacked first, slashing downwards, Jason countering with an upwards strike, the blades colliding and shooting sparks all over the old barn. The sparks hit the straw pile, which was stored near where Myers and Jason were fighting. The straw caught fire quickly, and within just a few seconds, the entire barn was ablaze! Myers and Jason kept on fighting, ignoring the rising heat, which was far less that the heat of thier rage and hatred, each directed at the other.
Jason swung again, and Michael countered with his cleaver. The two continued to strike swiftly, their blades and hands a blur as they began punching and slashing at the same time, meaty thuds sounding whenever a blow landed on the other. Jason quickly stomped on Michael’s foot, and Michael stomped on Jason’s foot, both slashers holding the other in place as they wound up full power punches. Michael and Jason both punched at the same time, striking each other in the face, Michael’s mask tearing slightly, and Jason’s mask shattering on the lower left side of his face.
Both slashers were launched out of the opposite ends of the barn, Michael through the front, and Jason through the back. Jason slammed through the old wooden wall, his jacket catching fire as he landed in the damp grass just outside of the barn. Jason sat up and tossed off his burning jacket, and marched toward Michael.
Michael, however, wasn't as lucky. He flew several yards, and he finally came to a halt, being impaled through his side on a sharp tree limb. Michael managed to pull himself off of the limb with a loud grunt. He fell to the ground and then stood up and snuck into the nearby tool shed, to attempt to get the jump on Jason once more. The undead slasher reached the tree Myers had been impaled on, and was frustrated to find that Michael was not there. He did however, notice a single drop of blood on the ground. This drop was located away from the tree, and closer to the nearby tool shed. Jason slowly marched in that direction. Myers wasn’t going to get away. Not on his watch.
Chi-Chi-Chi, Ra-Ra-Ra
As Jason approached the shed Michael managed to find a chain and an ice pick. The Shape hid himself among the deep, black shadows of the shed’s walls. Jason smashed down the door with a mighty punch, and he then stepped into the shed. As Jason began to look around, he was sure that he had caught a glimpse of Michael. He leapt at Michael and swung his sickle at Myers’ throat, in an attempt to decapitate The Shape. But all Jason hit was a wall. Michael wasn’t there. He never was.
Michael struck out from behind Jason, quickly smashing Jason across the eyes with the chain, then pinning Jason to the wall with the ice pick. Literally. Michael then unleashed a flurry of slashes against Jason’s torso, ripping several long gashes into his skin and flesh, several strikes cutting straight to the bone. Jason attempted to fend off a strike by attacking with his free arm, swinging his sickle at Michael, who hewed at his arm with his cleaver, chopping through most of Jason’s arm at the elbow, renderng it useless.
But just as Michael prepared to slash again, Jason’s knee shot up and smashed Myers in the groin.
This stopped the Shape’s attack. Michael toppled over backwards, landing on the ground with a thud, cutting his calf on a rusty saw, which lay in the floor, hidden underneath a rotting tarp. Myers grunted.
Jason thrust his shoulder forward, and ripped himself off of the ice pick. Jason readjusted his now mostly broken mask, grabbing a large steel beam from the corner of the shed. The Camp killer turned to Michael, who was nowhere to be found.
This time, there was a blood trail leading out the door of the shed. Jason followed slowly, his wounds already starting to heal. Slowly, but they were healing.
A loud knock echoed through the door of Lauire’s shed. Laurie stayed silent, but she was terrified.
Then a familiar voice called from beyond the door.
“Laurie? Are you in there?” The voice belonged to a Dr. Samual Loomis.
“I’m in here, Loomis!” Laurie shouted back.
“Laurie, the door’s locked. Could you let me in?” Loomis asked quietly.
Laurie got up and opened the door, and she gasped.
The figure that stood in front of her wasn’t Samual Loomis. This figure was clothed in black tactical gear, with several straps of cloth hanging off of him. In one hand, he held a silver and green object, and in the other, he held a black and silver tactical knife. And finally, he wore a hood and a mask. The mask was white, and it appeared to be screaming. He waved cutely with the hand that held the knife, and then socked Laurie in the gut, knocking the breath out of her.
“Shhh....My buddies and I just want to have a talk with you. Now sleep tight.” The man said as he sheathed his knife and pulled out a rag and covered her mouth and nose with it. Laurie passed out, unconcious.
Jason tracked Michael to the dock. Michael stood there, an old ancor in hand. Jason raised the I-Beam, and prepared to end thier fight. Once and for all.
Jason and Michael stomped towards each other, swinging thier weapons at each other, Myers' anchor clanging against Jason's I-beam, sparks flying and shockwaves exploding throughout the camp with each strike!
Jason pulled back the beam and began to wind up an extra powerful strike. Michael did the same. Both fighters then killers at full power strike, one which reduced thier weapons to mere shards once more! Both killers were knocked flat on thier backs, Michael landing on the beach, and Jason on the edge of the dock.
Jason grabbed a coil of rope and jumped off of the dock onto the beach, and power walking over to Michael, who was now struggling to get up, he slammed his knee into Michael's gut to hold him in place, and he then wrapped the rope around Michael's neck and began to strangle him.
Michael began to trash about and reach for something-anything that would let him stop Jason! As mIchael's desperate fingers pushed through the sand, he felt his fingers press against something. Something old and wooden. Michael quickly grabbed it and yanked it out of the sand. It was a blood stained oar.
The same oar that had been used all those years ago to kill Pamela Voorhees.
The Shape swung the oar at jason's head with all of his remaining might, slamming the slasher square in the head. The oar shattered, and Jason's head flew off of his body, flying into the lake, landing with a loud splash.
Jason's headless body continued to hold the rope for a few seconds longer, but slowly, his grip lessened. And finally, his body toppled off of Michael's chest.
The Boogeyman sat up immediatly and then stood up. Michael began to walk away. And then he stopped. He turned. And he walked back over to Jason's corpse. He knelt down. And thrust his hand into Jason's chest, ripping his heart right out! Micheal raised the heart to his face.
And he....crushed the heart into a bloody paste. Michael then stood up, and tilted his head at Jason's corpse.
K.O.!
Verdict[]
Mercer: Whew. Michael had me worried there for a second.
Necro: Shut up. I'm not exactly happy about this one, but This is easily one of the closest match-ups were have ever done, if not the closest!
Mercer: Yeah. Jason and Michael were about equal in strength, due to both being able to rip humans to bits with ease, as well as being able to lift similar amounts.
Necro: And as slow as both Michael and Jason move, we found that Jason was actually a little bit faster. Micke's best reaction was equal to about Mach 1.8, and Jason's was equal to Mach 2.3. So Jason did hold a minor edge in that respect, as well as his teleportaion making him more mobile.
Popup: While it is possible that Michael can teleport, Jason's is actually shown in canon.
Mercer: Now, before we continue, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Jason's possession. What's to say that Jason couldn't simply possess Michael and take control of his body.
Necro: Well, only one thing. And that's Thorn. Michael is already possessed by a powerful demon. Which would reasonably mean that Michael would be sheilded from this kind of attack.
Mercer: But let's get to the thing these two are most known for. Thier durability. Jason and Michael could tank attacks equivilant to at least One Kilogram of TNT, and both could survive being shot up by heavy firearms. However, we found Michaels to be more impressive for one reason, and one reason only. Jason's regeneration. But how could regeneration be a downside?
Necro: It's a downside in the sense that Jason needed his regeneration to keep going after such altercations. For example. In Freddy vs Jason, Jason was stabbed in the eyes by Freddy Kruger, and that kept Jason down until his regeneration kicked in. But in Halloween II, Michael was shot in both eyes by Dr. Samual Loomis. He kept right on chasing Loomis and Laurie. Michael's regen kicked in several hours after this happened.
Mercer: Jason did have an edge in terms of experince with other superhuman foes, like Freddy Kruger and Tina. But Freddy nearly killed Jason, and Tina flat out stomped him, but he still fought and defeated a better version of himself, being Jason X.
Necro: And Michael had the edge in intellegence, as he's just shown himself to use it more. And when it came to strategy, both had used some pretty clever ones, but Michael's was just a bit more clever, in our opinion.
Mercer: And finally, both Michael and Jason could come back to life almost endlessly, so neither could really kill the other. But we found that in a batle to the first death, Jason was more likely to die first, due to having somewhat less impressive durability.
Necro: So in the end, Michael and Jason were even in strength, With Michael being just a bit slower and less experinced, With Jason being less durable and a bit dumber. This could have gone either way, but in the end, we just found that Michael had a slightly higher chance of victory.
Winner[]
Mercer: We admyer Jason's power, but it would seem as though this was his final friday.
Necro: The winner is, Micheal Myers.
Comparison[]
Micheal Myers[]
(=)Strength
(+)A bit more Durable
(+)A bit smarter
(+)Possibly immune to Jason's Possession
(+)More consistant healing factor
(-)A bit slower
(-)Never fought a being on his level before
(-)Less Mobile
Jason Voorhees[]
(=)Strength
(+)A bit faster
(+)Fought against people like Michael before
(+)Teleportaion made him more mobile
(-)He nearly lost one of those matches, and was stomped in one of the others
(-)Not quite as tough
(-)Not quite as smart
(-)Michael could be immune to his possession
(-)Less consistant healing factor
Description[]
Friday the 13th vs Halloween!
Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers is a battle featuring Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th horror franchise and Michael Myers from the Halloween horror franchise.
Interlude[]
HABIT: Masks. We hide ourselves behind them for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we wear them to hide our true feelings, our bloodlust, our desire to cause harm to others.
Toby: Or you just wear them because they look cool! These stalkers have badass white masks!
Observer: Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th's hockey mask stalker who kills counselors at Camp Crystal Lake.
Steve: And Michael Myers, Halloween's terror who is the greatest fear of babysitters that live in Haddonfield.
Herobrine: One of these horror icons' title of "unkillable killers' will be disproven in this battle.
HABIT: Will Jason make it Michael's corpse will be hallowed or will Myers make it so Voorhees' death is similiar to his rival, Freddy Krueger's, death of being fri-ed to death?
HABIT: I'm HABIT, they are The Observer & Ticci Toby, they are Steve & Herobrine, they are Satoshi & Yuka Mochida and we are here to see who would win a Death Battle!
Jason Voorhees[]
HABIT: Jason Voorhees' childhood was not good, at all.
Steve: His mother did love him, but he faced harassment from other children due to his physical deformities.
Toby: The bullying became more extreme. While Pamela, his mother, was working at Camp Crystal Lake, she decided to bring him along. Whilst she was working, a group of kids threw him into the lake the camp was known for.
HABIT: Some teenagers were too busy fucking to save him, and he drowned. This drove his mother crazy, leading to her murdering the teenagers before attempting to close the camp for kid by going on another killing spree there.
Satoshi: This led to a counselor beheading her in self-defense. It is revealed that Jason survived the drowning and was living in the woods for years, and he witnessed his dear mother's death.
Yuka: This led to him going mad, taking on his mother's mantle and slaughtering anyone who dared enter the camp with his trusty machete and... potato sack?
HABIT: Yeah, Jason wore a sack on his head before switching it out for his iconic hockey mask. After dying and reanimating, Jason came back as a zombie after his corpse was struck by lighting. His adventures became a lot weirder afterwards
Toby: But none of them is really important so let's move on to his feats, various weapons, and wacky powers.
Herobrine: Well, Jason is primarily known for using his trusty machete, although he has shown great creativity in other forms of killing. Axes, bows and arrows, barrels of weird sludge, you name it!
Satoshi: His powers are also as unique as his weapons. First is his seemingly inability to die, or rather stay dead. Ever since his first death, Jason became much more powerful, and it seems like this pattern is repeated each time he is defeated in his movies. A more debatable ability of his is slasher teleportation, which could possibly just be written off as speed feats.
Yuka: Yeah, also of note is his possession. If you manage to kill Jason, his heart can hypnotize you into eating it, which will lead to him possessing you. Granted, this takes a lot of time as seen with how it took hours before someone ate his heart, but still.
Observer: Most noteworthy, let’s discuss his regeneration, because oh boy.
HABIT: Jason has shown to be an absolute beast, being able to heal from Freddy Krueger gouging his eyes out, gunshots, being slashed in the shoulder and hit in the head with an axe when his regeneration was much weaker, being set on fire, pretty much everything short of completely annihilating him with high grade military equipment.
Toby: Anyways, regarding his physical strength and other statistics, Jason is a fucking beast. He managed to go toe to toe with Freddy Krueger, actually managing to hold his own and kill him, although some teenagers intervened, causing him to get the upper hand so we can’t directly scale him to Freddy. Despite this, he was able to survive blows from Freddy and being tossed around by the sweater wearing slasher, who can likely exert the amount of force that he intakes. Keep in mind Freddy is able to survive being tossed into a roof so hard it shatters, being set flying by an explosion, etc.
Steve: Yeah. Not to mention Jason can easily shatter wooden doors, crush people’s skulls with his bare hands, punch people’s heads off, slice off three heads in one swing, rip arms off, shatter window panes by tossing a corpse at it, and much, much more.
Yuka: Now, his durability. Jason was able to survive heavy grade gunfire at multiple angles, doing pretty well at surviving until explosives were brought in. Speaking of explosives, while it isn’t shown, it seems like Jason was able to survive a massive house exploding on him, appearing next to our protagonists a second later as if nothing happened to him.
Toby: Jason’s speed is… weird. Whether you brush it off as teleportation or speed are valid, considering Jason has occasionally shown bursts of speed despite his usual pace. But ignoring that whole debate, Jason has been able to rush a group of soldiers playing paintball, killing them all before they had a chance to react, keeping up with Freddy Krueger who is much faster than normal humans, easily disarming people in combat and reacting to their attacks, etc. As you will see in Michael’s analysis, speed isn’t really the thing they are known for. It isn’t really an important factor here.
Satoshi: Anyways, for his weaknesses, the only real notable things are his inconsistent fear of water along with his intelligence, making his moves predictable. Oh, women who resemble his mother can easily manipulate him, but Michael is neither a girl nor looks anything like Pamela Voorhees, so yeah.
HABIT: Not sure how to transition to The Shape’s bio, uhhhhhhh.
Lightning strikes Jason’s corpse after Tommy Jarvis stabs his corpse, causing him to rise up.
Michael Myers[]
(Copy and pasting this from my other Michael bio as I'm allowed to)
HABIT: Haddonfield, Halloween night, 1963. The day that six-year-old Michael Myers killed his older sister, Judith.
Toby: Starting off strong, I like it. Anyway, the boy was sent to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, where he remained for years.
Satoshi: That was until October 30, 1978, when he broke out. He stalked Laurie Strode, who, depending on the timeline, is his little sister.
Herobrine: Then, on Halloween night, good old Michael murdered Laurie's friends before going after her. The young girl survives after The Shape, yeah, Michael is occasionally called The Shape. Anyway, Laurie survives after Michael is shot by his doctor, Sam Loomis. Despite being shot multiple times and falling off a building, The Shape disappears after Loomis looks away for a few seconds.
Steve: Due to a bunch of timeline mumbo jumbo, what happens next is often different, so let's discuss what the Haddonfield horror can do.
Observer: Michael Myers is horrifically strong, being able to carry tombstones that weigh half a ton and flip cars over. While he can lift well, he can also strike well. The Shape can casually slice off someone's head in one knife swing, along with being able to smash through a wooden wall.
Yuka: Michael can also smash someone's head to pieces in one stomp, along with being able to nearly kill someone in one stab.
HABIT: Although Michael usually walks as fast as a snail, he has shown some surprisingly decent speed feats a few times. The masked maniac can dodge bullets from Loomis, which usually travel at 1,800 miles per hour. Although he is usually tagged by slower objects, even being shot a good amount of times.
Toby: And now time to talk about The Shape's durability. Michael can survive shots from SPAS-12s, which can tear a human apart with the number of bullets that Myers took while being shot by other guns. After this, The Shape then fell a good distance down a mine tunnel before drifting away while being hit by multiple rocks. Granted, after this, he fell into a year-long coma but it's still something.
Herobrine: Michael survived a room exploding and kept going for a few seconds before falling into a coma, survived a shotgun blast to the heart with barely any damage, falling off a two-story house and a burning house collapsing on him. Keep in mind, he scales to all of this physically since he duels with people who can harm him.
Steve: Know, you can't be a serial killer without being a smart cookie, or else Michael would have gotten caught a long time ago!
Herobrine: Didn't he get caught when he killed his sister years ago?
Steve: He was a child then, so that doesn't count. Anyway, the masked killer usually stalks his victims and plays dead to lure them into a false sense of safety. He can do the usual slasher tactic of disabling powerlines which provide darkness for him to hide in.
Observer: Hell, he even tricked Laurie into killing someone after he crushed their larynx and swapped clothes with them. So faking death is a good tactic that Michael can use to slaughter his victims when they aren't expecting it. Now, onto discussing his powers and abilities.
Steve: Being a silent slasher, Michael usually uses stealth, intelligence, and brute force to take out his victims. We're gonna talk about the first one as we’ve already talked about Michael’s brutal force and intelligence.
HABIT: Michael shows incredible skill regarding stealth, being able to easily sneak into houses, sneak attack people (a majority of his kills consist of him using stealth that could count as borderline), and he should be vastly superior to Corey, who is so good at stealth that he can somehow just appear behind people. Yeah.
Observer: The Shape is decently smart, being able to fake his death (kinda, through forcing someone to wear his mask and getting them killed instead), seemingly learning to teach himself to drive, cut phone lines, set up ambushes, utilize stealth, and even more.
Toby: His hax list isn’t that long. He possesses possession and telepathy, although both only work on his family. Other than that, he has some corruption hax that makes people stronger as seen in Halloween Ends, although considering this actually led to Corey overpowering him, this isn’t really a good thing for him.
Herobrine: Notable is his regeneration, showing the ability to survive all the damage previously done and being seemingly perfectly fine afterwards. His regeneration seems to have his limit. As seen in the Halloween movie, the 2018 one, he was blinded after being stabbed in the eye and never regenerated his fingers after they were blown off by a shotgun.
Yuka: He doesn’t really have any notable weaknesses, other than he is still able to be harmed and despite his speed, he chooses to walk at a snail’s pace.
HABIT: Evil doesn’t die, neither does the boogeyman… unless you’re walking Halloween Ends-
Dr. Loomis shoots Michael Myers multiple times, as he falls off the balcony onto the floor. Dr. Loomis looks away, before looking back to where Michael was. He’s gone.
Pre-Fight[]
HABIT: Alright, the combatants are set and now it is time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle![]
Haddonfield 12 AM
Tommy Jarvis' life wasn't going swell. He was still suffering trauma from the time Jason attacked him and his family years ago. Jason was killed but he wouldn't stay dead for long. Tommy tried to explain this story to people but people just told him that Jason was dead and would stay that way.
Nothing was working, he tried knitting as a hobby to take him mind off Jason, nothing. He tried medication to calm himself, that only slightly helped. Even his last resort of going to a group therapy session didn't work. Mr. Jarvis thought back to this as he got into his car.
Tommy opened a door and sighed as a group of people stared at him. He truly helped that going to this therapy session would help. "Hello there, you must be Tommy Jarvis? I'm Ash, Ash Williams." A man in blue shirt told Tommy. "Pleasure to meet you all." Tommy responded as he took a seat. "We are all here for a reason. Someone tried to take our lives but we didn't let this happen. That's why we are here today!" Ash said, charisma irradiating from him. "Now then, let's explain what happened with us. I already told you my story but nobody seems to believe me." Someone quickly responded to Ash, with heavy skepticism in their voice. "I heavily doubt your friends were killed by demon zombies who were unleashed by a book, Ash." Laurie Strode responded, looking around the room, as if she was waiting for someone to jump out of the shadows. "Hey! It did happen..." Ash quickly followed this up by a suggestion. "Anyway, everyone else should explain their stories to mister Jarvis." Laurie was the first to tell her story. "My brother broke out of a asylum, killed my friends, and tried to kill me, he's still on the loose." Laurie was obviously shaken up by these events, she was constantly on the look out for Michael Myers.
Tommy heard a lot of stories, killer dolls with attitude, dream demons, crazy boyfriends in a white mask and black robe who teamed up with their friends to try to kill his girlfriend, a chainsaw wielding maniac who wore people's skin. These were all of the stories Tommy heard. With seemingly nothing left to do, he was gonna do something he hoped he would never have to do. Go back to Camp Crystal Lake.
He would just stay for a few minutes and get back into his car to ease his fears, that's all he was planning on doing. Tommy began to drive when he came upon a heavily forestry area. Tommy felt safe and secure in his car... but then a axe flew through the front window, shattering the glass. Tommy ducked, if he was a second late, he would have been dead. "Who the fuck does this guy think he is? The Bunnyman?" Tommy looked at the person who threw the axe and felt his heart stop for a little.
Jason Voorhees. He could tell it was him, the hockey mask, the decaying skin, the machete were all giveaways of who this was. Tommy quickly turned his car and rushed his way to Haddonfield. If he was gonna fight Jason, he was gonna need help. Tommy finally arrived back at the town when he heard a scream come for a nearby house.
Thinking that whatever was attacking that person could fight Jason, Tommy quickly entered the house to see a masked man in a jumpsuit strangling a woman with one hand and slowly raising his knife with his other hand. Tommy ran towards the man in white mask and tackled him, slightly knocking Michael backwards. Just then, Jason entered the house, seeking to end Tommy. "Oh shit, he's here, we have to get out of here." Tommy grabbed Laurie's hand and quickly ran out of the house while Jason & Michael exchanged glances, ready for a duel.
FIGHT!
Michael makes the first move, walking towards Jason whilst raising his knife. Jason counters by raising his machete, going for a horizontal swing in an attempt to bisect The Shape only to miss as Myers ducks before springing upwards and jamming his knife into the slasher’s neck. He followed this up with the knife being yanked out before Pamela Voorhees’ son received a punch to the face, hurting Michael’s hand against the material of Jason’s hockey mask.
Jason responded with a punch of his own, sending The Shape tumbling backwards. Just as he was about to fall, he steadied himself by grabbing onto the counter. He stepped back, walking towards the living room as Jason sped walked towards him. He raises his machete, but The Shape manages to leave his line of sight and… disappeared? Jason tilts his head, confused by this before feeling a sharp metal hit him on the top of the head. Michael, who had seemingly phased behind Jason, grabs onto the slasher and manhandles him towards the kitchen counter, grabbing his head with both hands before repeatedly slamming it into the counter. He does this again, and again, and again, Jason’s mask somewhat protecting him.
After getting his head smashed into the counter a few more times, Jason decides to fight back and grabs the Shape’s hands, twisting both of them at a nasty 350 degree angle before he turns backwards and kicks Michael, sending him into the wall which forms a large crack as he slams into it. The Shape grabs his head, having no moment to rest as Jason attempts to finish the job with a clean slice to the neck, Michael narrowly managing to avoid the attack and getting nicked in the neck as a result.
Blood leaked from his fresh wound, causing The Shape to wipe some of it off before going back on the attack, ducking before lunging at the Camp Crystal Lake killer, embedding his knife in his stomach before grabbing his neck, holding him in place and stabbing him over and over again. The Shape notices that Jason isn’t bleeding, before the hockey mask wearing killer launches his elbow into Michael’s face, causing him to once again stagger back. The Shape once walks away, back into the living room as Jason follows him.
This time, instead of disappearing, The Shape continued to walk through the living room, going up the stairs as the machete-wielding madman continued his hunt for him. He turned the corner as he finished his journey up the stairs, Jason noticing this and walking faster. However, something kicks him in the back of the leg, causing him to fall onto his knees as The Shape, who once more used his teleportation to his advantage, slits Jason’s throat. The monster of Camp Crystal Lake is surprisingly unaffected by this, so Michael presses his knife upward to his throat and begins to start hacking, just as Jason grabs onto the knife, stopping the attempted beheading.
The Shape punches Jason in the back of the neck, attempting to force him deeper into the blade before Jason squeezes Myers’ preferred weapon of choice, breaking the metal. In response to this, Michael grabs Jason by his collar and yanks him backwards, causing him to plummet down the stairs. The Shape watches as this happens, before walking back up the stairs.
Jason is stunned by his fall, but quickly recovers and once more makes his journey up the stairs, walking into a bedroom to look for his victim. He grabs onto the bed, tossing it across the room only to see that no one was underneath, He then walks into the closet, yanking the chain for it to illuminate the dark space. He notices that nobody was inside, so he decides to check the bathroom.
He walks into there, noticing that the curtains were closed. He grabs onto them, gripping his machete before ripping the floral curtains off the rack. But nobody was there. There was only one more room to go, so Jason headed into the final bedroom. Standing there was the boogeyman, Michael Myers. He was staring at the open door that led to the balcony, incredibly close to it. He turns and faces Jason, seemingly urging him to face him for their final battle. The slasher accepts this, jogging towards Michael whilst raising his machete. Michael, armed with a new kitchen knife, although taking a few steps back. Their blades clash, locked in a struggle as they look into each other’s eyes, or rather into their masks. Jason broke the struggle, withdrawing his blade before raising it again as Michael tucked and rolled, causing Jason to miss.
Tired of this charade of The Shape dodging his attacks every time, Jason decides to end this fight and actually straight up runs at Michael, catching him off guard as Jason shoulderbashes The Shape, causing him to be sent flying off of the balcony, onto the grassy floor below. Jason looked down at his defeated foe, walking back into the house before thinking of something. “What if he survived?” He decided to make sure his foe was dead and walked back onto the balcony, before noticing something. Michael was gone.
The hockey mask wearing slasher leaps off the balcony, landing on the floor with a thud. He circles around the house, walking towards the entrance before he notices a jumpsuit wearing man wearing the infamous mask, although it seemed like he was desperately trying to take it off. Jason dashes towards the man, who doesn’t have time to react before his head is sliced off, landing on the concrete parking lot with a thud. Blood gushes from the neck stump, as the man falls over dead.
K.O! Jason decides that he wants to find out the identity of the man who gave him that much trouble during the fight and grabs the head, yanking the mask off to reveal the face of a young man. He was about to toss the head into a nearby garbage can before he notices something… his tongue was cut off, his fingers were bent out of place. Jason is at first confused, but despite his low intelligence, he puts two and two together before realizing that The Shape mutilated the man and forcibly put the mask on him.
Jason drops both the mask and head onto the floor, beginning to walk away back towards Camp Crystal Lake. He thought about his fight as he trekked across the road, and wondered if he would meet Michael again. If he ever did, he would make sure that the man he got was actually Michael, not a body double.
Meanwhile, back at the parking lot, a hand grabs onto the mask, before slipping it off. The boogeyman might have been defeated tonight, but he was still alive. He walks off, still gripping his knife behind him, October was finally over.
K.O?
Results[]
Toby: Does that count? Since Michael wasn't killed.
HABIT: He was forced to retreat and trick Jason into killing someone else to escape, I say that's a a loss.
Toby: Fair. Regarding states, it was surprisingly close, but Jason prevailed in the end as whilst both have feats for surviving building explosions, Jason was able to tank his and keep going while Michael was knocked out for years after his building level feat. Strength was the same as durability, as they both scaled to their durability.
Steve: Speed actually went to Michael due to his bullet timing, although considering they prefer to tank their opponents' attacks rather than dodge them, it was not really a factor here.
Herobrine: They actually matched each other in hax. Both have teleportation, and possession. Jason could not possess Michael as he was already possessed, while Michael could not possess anyone that isn't part of their family.
Yuka: Jason simply had much better regeneration, giving him the win over Michael. Wait, what about the curse of Thorn? That prevents Michael from dying!
Toby: That is true, but nothing stops Jason from ripping Michael limb from limb to make sure he just can't fight. If he can't fight, then he loses.
HABIT: Looks like... I can't think of a good pun, fuck.
Observer: The winner is Jason Voorhees
Next Time[]
A green tiny man dressed out walks into a room, donning a green tophat. He stares at a grotesque turkey who was seemingly waiting for him, wielding a axe. He stares deep into his leprechaun's eyes and says three words. "Nice tits, bitch!'
Lubdan the Leprechaun (Leprechaun) vs Turkie (Thankskilling)
Trivia[]
- I went as Jason this Halloween, again-
- I actually wanted Michael to win
Description[]
Friday the 13th vs Halloween! The two silent, slow but deadly killers from popular 80s slasher franchises. They've been through thick and thin but have somehow pulled through each time. Which of these iconic killers will walk away?
Interlude[]
Counter: Throughout the 80’s, slasher films dominated the horror market. It seems like every horro franchise famous in this era had installment after installment.
Kaiya: With a nigh-unkillable masked figure in the middle!
Damien: Like Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th’s undead, hulking, machete-slinging monster.
Hannah: And Michael Myers, Halloween’s unstoppable shape of evil.
Counter: I’m Counter and these are my partners Damien, Kai, and Hannah, and we’re here to look at their strengths, arsenal and abilities to settle who would win a Death Battle.
Jason[]
Counter: Many years ago, in the small town of Crystal Lake, a boy was born. He had severe facial deformities and was isolated from the community. This boy was Jason Voorhees, son of Pamela Voorhees.
Kaiya: And when Pamela took him to Camp Crystal Lake, he was bullied by the campers, because kids are just the fuckin’ worst. When Jason tried to escape from his torment, the threw Jason into the lake. The counselors, supposed to be watching for this kind of thing, were distracted by what else other than casual 80’s horror movie sex.
Damien: And there, Jason drowned and the camp was closed.
Kaiya: Or did he?
Damien: Mad with grief, Pamela killed the counselors she thought were responsible for her little boy’s death. When the camp was reopened in 1979, Pamela murdered all but one counselor, before biting the big one herself at the hands of a huge machete!
Hannah: Poor Jason was left to discover his mother’s body, but he was not the same person that entered those icy waters. He made a shrine for his mother, and decided to kill all those that entered Crystal Lake and avenge Pamela's death. Jason would continue to haunt camps, towns, New York, the land of dreams and even space stations adorned in his world-famous hockey mask. There's not a lot that's slowed him down.
Counter: Jason is a very efficient killer, efficient with a variety of weapons. Whether it be knives, axes, ice picks, spears, pitchforks, harpoon guns, fire pokers or even syringes!
Kaiya: But like every killer I know, he has his favourites. And we all know what it is. His iconic machete! He’s a master with this blade, able to nearly slice people in half with a single swing! Jason is a powerhouse, and has overpowered pretty much everyone he’s fought.
Damien: Jason can effortlessly smash wooden doors apart, crush skulls, throw around haybales weighing hundreds of kilograms and can effortlessly stab through two people and a bed.
Hannah: He’s survived being stabbed, barely noticed being cleaved in the chest, ignored an axe to the face and had a tv slammed over his head and he was fine. Jason can come back from pretty much anything. Novellisations even describe an unusually fast healing factor, describing how he never had broken bones, never cried, and even came back from his drowning.
Counter: It was with these incredible feats that Jason went on a killing rampage, racking up a body count of over 30 different teenagers and adults in 1984 alone. It seemed as though nothing could ever stop him.
Kaiya: That was, until, he faced one young Tommy Jarvis. Ultimately, Jason got his own machete sliced into the side of his head and was sliced over and over until the fucker moved no more. Jason Voorhees was finally dead.
Damien: Or was he? Many years later, an older Tommy Jarvis, one haunted by his past with Jason. Trying to confirm his final death, Tommy opened up his grave and stabbed him with a metal pole, trying to cremate Jason and leave no trace of him left.
Hannah: This was when lightning struck the pole, restoring life into the Voorhees. Jason lives. He was now an undead zombie, and his abilities were boosted beyond recognition. Where he sliced a man in half, he can now decapitate three people in a single swing. Where he could bust through doors, he can now stab through a reinforced metal door inches thick.
Counter: His healing abilities were also boosted to obscene levels. He can have most of his body blown up by a grenade and heal back in seconds, survive a ten tonne boiler being dropped on top of him, heal his eye after it was destroyed, and survive his own heart being destroyed.
Kaiya: He also got a LOT better at killing. He can even just teleport around whenever he feels like it! He’s teleported around a dance floor, ‘somehow’ appeared in front of this cool guitarist lady despite being on a higher staircase than her, and her checking on Jason’s position moments before her death.
Damien: It doesn’t hurt that Jason is pretty much impossible to stop! Even if you blow his entire body up, his exposed heart can literally, and I am one hundred percent serious here, possess people to eat it, taking over their bodies to continue his killing.
Hannah: No known method has been able to keep the killer down for long. He’s survived gas chambers, lethal injections and firing squads, can survive being on fire for a full minute, and remember the boiler? Being crushed under that amount of weight would yield over 10 million joules of energy.
Counter: Zombie Jason isn’t only tough, but incredibly strong. He’s even able to fight Uber Jason, his future counterpart and put up a good fight against him, dealing significant damage to him. Uber Jason can shatter steel walls. Such a feat would require over 107 kilograms of TNT to pull off, and the Zombie Jason survived it!
Kaiya: Uber Jason can survive explosions worth 1.5 tons of TNT. While yes, the Zombie Jason that fought Uber Jason did end up losing, he did deal significant damage, staggered Uber Jason with his blows and survived many of Uber Jason’s attacks before he was defeated, so they should at least be at a similar level.
Damien: Hey, don’t count out his speed. Jason is super fast! He’s outrun helicopter fire, killed hunters before they could react and blitzed mercenaries.
Hannah: There’s a reason Jason Voorhees is one of the most feared killers in horror history. He’s battled Freddy Krueger and even sliced his head off. But through and through, Jason-
Kaiya: Is a huge Mama’s boy! No really. Reminding Jason of his mother or even his younger self through pictures or looking like them can stop Jason in his tracks, leaving him wide open to attack. He is also easy to goad and distract. Tommy Jarvis did it fairly easily in Jason Lives using playground insults.
Counter: And when he possesses others with his heart, the hosts don’t last and quickly deteorioate, requiring one with Voorhees blood to return him to his true form. Similarly, someone with Voorhees blood can end his cycle of regeneration by killing him.
Kaiya: But his largest weakness is definitely...legal battles.
Damien: Shame, too. His game was awesome.
Hannah: Regardless, Jason is an unstoppable killing machine. As long as there is a Voorhees alive, and as long as horny teens are horny, Jason will live, and he will massacre.
("Ki, ki, ki, ma, ma, ma...")
Michael[]
Counter: Halloween night. A time where children of all ages accept candy from strangers by walking up to their houses alone, wearing costumes to impress. Older people can enjoy parties while the young kids can enjoy the candy.
Kaiya: And the even younger kids can enjoy classic sibling pranks such as stabbing their sister to death! This was Michael Myers, The Shape. Born as a disturbed child, Michael would change his future forever after the brutal murder of his sister, Judith.
Damien: Michael was arrested and placed in an asylum or fifteen years, under the watch of Dr Loomis, who didn’t...exactly have the best thing to say about the child. He described Michael as pure evil and a being of hatred. Michael barely even communicated!
Hannah: Until 15 years later, at the age of 21, Michael killed the nurses and escaped. He returned home on Halloween night to stalk and kill once more. He set his sights on his younger sister Laurie Strode, who he would silently, relentlessly-
Kaiya: Slowly-
Hannah: -Stalk and attempt to kill her and other varieties of unfortunate babysitters. Before we continue, we must acknowledge that there are many different continuities for Michael Myers, some with different backstories and motivations. For example, the H20 Timeline retcons Halloween 4 through 6, while the Final Timeline ignores every film except the first Halloween.
Counter: Considering Michael Myers is technically the same person, we’ll take feats and abilities from the original, H20, Thorn and Final continuities, as well as comics. It’s only fair.
Kaiya: With that out the way, Michael is am incredible killer, able to come back from almost anything. He walks off being burned alive, getting shot 6 times and falling from a second story window, and getting both of his eyes shot out. Michael has an insane healing factor!
Damien: Even able to protect him from being stabbed in the eye, or being injected with acid! But how does he keep coming back for more? If Michael is just human, how could he possibly survive all these injuries and come back for more like some kind of slasher masochist?
Hannah: Quite simply, he isn’t. Or at least not technically. In the Thorn timeline Michael actually bears the Curse of the Thorn. Basically, it’s a pagan ritual where one family is sacrificed so the community can thrive. Michael is bestowed with their blessing, so he must be the one to kill his whole family.
Kaiya: God, I love how straightforward the Halloween story is.
Hannah: The Curse of the Thorn makes him super strong, super tough, explains his healing factor, and why he always seems to return. He can not completely die because there’s still a surviving family member that he needs to kill. Essentially, if there’s still a Myers around, Michael will be around to try and kill them.
Counter: And super strong he is. He can walk through wooden doors with no effort. Fragmenting a wooden door such as this would yield about 500,000 joules of energy, or 120 grams of TNT. He can crush skulls with his hands, which would need to generate 500 kilograms of force.
Kaiya: He can very casually snap human necks, break jaws, stab through people with a shotgun, and moved a tree that takes 4 people to move. Fitting that he uses a shotgun as a stabbing weapon, considering his weapon of choice is his trusty kitchen knife!
Damien: He has used axes to decapitate people, pitchforks, gardening tools, and good ol’ fashioned electrical transformers!
Hannah: Michael is surprisingly intelligent, able to easily sneak up on people. He knew how to drive after breaking out of the mental asylum, despite being locked up for 15 years, switched places with paramedic to get him killed, disabled an entire school’s phone lines, and disguised a man as himself and cut out his tongue so he couldn’t explain himself. He knows precise locations to cut and body parts, such as when he sliced a woman’s tendons to prevent her escape, cut someone’s neck in a precise manner to silence them, before cuttin his arteries carefully to ensure a painful bleeding out. Nasty.
Counter: He’s even smart enough to place razor blades on a door to prevent intruders from making their way inside a building. This intelligence lends itself well to his stealth skills. Michael has a reputation of being practically silent. He’s snuck up on a teacher in daylight without a sound, hid in a police car without the cops knowing and has snuck up on a variety of people, such as Dr Loomis and Busta Rhymes.
Kaiya: This is probably helped by Michael’s blistering speeds. He’s dodged gunfire from Dr Loomis. Based on the distance Michael was away from the gun, the regular muzzle speed of an M1911 pistol and the time frame, Michael had to react at 35 m/s, or about Mach 0.1.
Damien: He’s strong, he’s fast and he can heal, sure, but Michael is tough even without his healing factor. He’s survived a car crash that was described as ‘chewing up’ the other passengers and survived another car crash. Wh- What is it with this guy and cars? You’d think by now he’d learn to stay away from them.
Hannah: He’s also debatably survived an old church exploding. He’s practically immune to sedatives such as Thorazine because his body has developed a resistance from the many times he was exposed to the drug in his life.
Counter: Michael is a powerhouse that’s always coming back for more, but he’s not a perfect killer. His reliant immortality doesn’t allow him to instantly come back from any injury and in the Final Timeline he’s blind in his left eye and is missing two fingers.
Kaiya: Not to mention, a ritual can be performed to separate Michael from Thorn, stripping him of his power. Still, if those are his only weaknesses, it’s easy to see why he’s one of horror’s most successful slashers. Hell, he even ‘inspired’ Jason Voorhees, and earned himself a place in Dead by Daylight!
Damien: He’s faced many teenagers and adults alike, killing policemen, nurses and even Ant-Man! Er- I mean, Paul Rudd.
Hannah: When it’s Halloween night, lock your doors. Arm yourself. Because The Shape is coming, and he has no mercy.
("I prayed that he would burn in hell, but in my heart I knew that hell would not have him")
Intermission[]
Counter: Alright, the combatants are set! You guys ready?
Kaiya: Let's do it!
Damien: Heck yeah!
Hannah: Is there any doubt?
Counter: Then let's end this debate once and for all...in a Death Battle!
Death Battle[]
“Jay…? I don’t know about this.” A girl turned to her left, addressing her friend standing next to her, the one apparently named Jay. The minuscule light of midnight shrouded the girl’s look of apprehension in darkness. Jay turned his head to face her, a cocky smirk plastered across his face.
They were face to face with a dilapidated, abandoned house. The wood panels on the walls were damp and rotten, coils of green moss slithered around the house. The girl placed her hands on the wooden panels and pushed slightly. The wood bent under the small amount of force, threatening to shower the girl in a mess of splinters.
The house sported two stories, the windows shaped in such a way that it looked like the house was staring down at them, as if it too knew that it was dangerous and was trying to warn them. The light blue paint that once seemed to coat the building was peeling off, and scraps of paint were strewn about the ground, many of which were presumably blown away by the wind.
Rain hammered down on the house. Droplets of water splattered on the two teenagers, turning the dirt on the ground into a wet sludge that clung to their feet. They were surrounded by trees, many of which looked younger than the house. It was as if the people that owned the house planted the trees to disguise the building.
“C’mon Jess, it’ll be fine.” Jay continued to smirk, clasping a hand around the house’s doorknob and twisting. Time and moisture seemed to have taken their toll on the hinges, as when Jay went to push the door open, the two teenagers heard a grinding snap. There was a minuscule moment of apprehension before the door ripped itself free of the hinges and crashed to the ground, flinging the noise throughout the dusty, empty halls of the building. The girl known as Jess swallowed. With a flourished gesture, Jay pointed towards the door, bowing low.
“Ladies first,” Jay said calmly. Momentarily, Jess considered running. Her stomach churned uncomfortably, feeling as though it were trying to jerk her away from the house. Every step she took towards the house quickened her heartbeat. She looked back to Jay and, silently cursing him, took a deep breath, stepping into the dusty abode.
Jay was right on her tail, pulling out a torch and flicking its switch, bathing the hallway in blinding light. Their footsteps echoed around the building. Neither said a word to each other as they silently made their way through the dark building. Jess’ breath began to move back to normal as she took in more of the building. Creepy? Sure. However, the danger seemed to be overblown in her mind.
Maybe the house wasn’t so bad.
“BOO!” Jay shouted suddenly. For a moment, Jess was sure her heart had stopped. Surely, she was dead. Her body froze and her stomach dropped out of her. It took many seconds to recover from the scare, her heartbeat now beating triple. Jay was trying to disguise his very obvious laughter as Jess rounded on him, her face growing hot with anger and embarrassment. She punched him in the chest, forcing him to take a step back.
“You shit!” She hissed, twisting back around. Very quickly, she decided she no longer wanted to be in Jay’s snickering company. Jay seemed to sense this too, or perhaps he feared for his own safety because he quickly offered a suggestion.
“Alright, I’ll go this way. You can go…that way?” Jay pointed down to a dark hallway. Blinded by her frustration with Jay, Jess quickly made her way to the hallway, turning her back on him without another word. Still chortling, Jay made his way into a larger living room.
The hallway was near pitch black, lit very slightly by the light from the Moon, obscured by the immense amount of dust that crowded the window. Still, it was enough. Cautiously making her way down, Jess passed two doors, each with a different name. Only just able to make out the lettering through the moonlight, she read the name on the left door aloud.
“Jason…” She muttered to herself. Turning around, she read the other door aloud.
“Michael…” Jason and Michael. It must have been the names of the kids that used to live here. Why did they decide to live here? In the middle of nowhere? There weren’t even power lines around. Either this house was extremely old, or the family wanted to isolate themselves. Jess couldn’t decide which option was more chilling.
She continued on, her feet creaking the floorboards. The sound seemed to pound in her ears in what seemed like the perfect echo chamber of this house. Step. Creak. Step. Creak. She narrowly avoided walking into a table that sat up against the wall. She stopped. As she stopped moving, she could have sworn she heard the faintest of thuds. She sucked in a breath and looked behind her. There didn’t seem to be anything behind her. Even if there was, the pitch black darkness wouldn’t let her see anything anyways.
Maybe it was her imagination. That must be it. It was her heartbeat. In her fear, she must have heard her heartbeat. Smiling in spite of herself, she turned back.
And her blood turned cold. The light of the Moon was blocked out by…something. She could only barely make out the outline of the object. It was wide, bulky, even. It seemed to get wider in the middle, before shrinking at the top and bottom. She narrowed her eyes. The outline had…something poking out of it. Something…sharp?
And as the sharp thing glinted off the moonlight, Jess realised with a jolt what that thing was exactly.
A knife. A great, silver kitchen knife, clean and shiny as if it were bought mere moments ago. But, if there were a knife, then it had to be held by…
Jess froze, but only for a moment. Her breath became ragged, sucking in dust and air without remorse. She realised what the outline was. It was a person. A person with a large kitchen knife. Without a second moment to think, Jess twisted around, and barrelled down the hallway, her lungs rapidly sucking in air.
She ran faster than she thought possible. She knocked the table over behind her, desperately attempting to put some measure of a shield between her and the shape behind her. Her mind was clouded with her own mortality. She reached the end of the hallway and tripped. Her forehead slammed into the corner of the wall, stunning her.
She felt the hot trickle of blood running down her head into her mouth. She smelt the acrid metallic scent as it filled her nose. Scrambling to her feet, she tried to take off to the right. Her mind focused on one thing: Jay. She needed to warn Jay, get him out-
Her foot landed on a fluid of some kind and she slipped, landing face first onto the ground. The wet substance coated her front, the metallic smell making her gag. More blood filled her mouth and she spat it onto the ground. Whatever she slipped in, it smelt bad. She planted her hands on the ground to get up and only encountered more of the liquid. What the hell was it?
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Frantically, she turned on the phone’s light and pointed it forwards. She only caught a glimpse of it for a moment, but what she saw immediately burned itself into her mind. Her body turned to ice. Jay was lying on the floor, his throat slit open from ear to ear. Blood was running down his front, splattering against his shirt.
Jay’s stomach had a gash across the belly button, coating his legs in blood. With a sickly lurch in her stomach, she looked around herself. She had slipped in his blood. There was another substance on the floor too. Jay’s intestines. Strewn about the floor like scraps of paper. Jess was frozen. Her eyes lingered on Jay’s lifeless body as every part of her screamed to look away. Jay’s face was contorted into a look of pure terror.
Jess’s mouth opened, and blinding white pain shot through her left arm. It felt as if a red-hot poker were shoved through her arm. It was pain beyond imagining, pain beyond endurance. Her eyes shot down to her arm. A large kitchen knife was stabbed right through it. More blood splattered across her face.
Something wrenched the knife out of her arm, sending another wave of flashing, agonising pain through the left side of her body. Throwing herself onto her back, Jess scrambled backwards with her good arm. Moonlight shone through the room, allowing Jess to get a look at her attacker. He was wearing black coveralls. His face was obscured by a white mask, hiding his real face. As the man took another step toward her, Jess found her voice again.
“NO! PLEASE!” Jess pleaded in a voice much unlike her own. The man paused for a second as if to consider her. This man was Michael Myers. He raised his own knife again and Jess held her arm in front of her face, futilely trying to protect the last shreds of her life from this masked maniac.
She squeezed her eyes closed, picturing Jay’s mutilated body. She was going to die just like Jay. Cut open. Knowing nothing but the agony in her last moments. There was a smash, and the sound of metal scraping together. This was a knife on her bones, she was certain. She was in heaven, surely. Her arm still throbbed in unimaginable torturous pain. Slowly opening her eyes, Jess realised that Michael was no longer in front of her. He was in the middle of the room, staring dead into the eyes of another hulking maniac. This man covered his face with a hockey mask, wearing a tattered brown jacket and two layers of shirts. His skin looked grey and dead.
Jason Voorhees. Jason stared at Michael, his chest heaving heavily. His trademark machete was stained with the blood of the other teenager that foolishly wandered into the house. His head jerked towards the female teenager. Her left arm was cut open, bleeding profusely. Her front was stained in blood, her head had a nasty gash. This was his kill.
He looked back at Michael and raised his machete. Michael didn’t move in response, although Jess could have sworn she saw his hands grip tighter on the kitchen knife’s handle. They both took a step toward each other. Jess knew what was going on. The winner got to take her life away from her.
The two hulking figures walked toward each other, raising their respective blades. They simultaneously swung upwards, and brought their blades down, digging into their opponent’s left shoulder. They stared into each other’s eyes, each face filled with pure malice.
FIGHT!
The two slashers wrenched their blades out of the other and stepped backwards, contemplating the other. Michael watched as the wound he inflicted upon Jason’s shoulder quickly closed back up once more, the skin and blood replacing itself until it looked as if there was no wound, to begin with. Michael’s shoulder was in the middle of doing the same, but Jason wasn’t waiting to watch the regeneration. He charged forwards, sticking his blade into Michael’s stomach and forcing him backwards, slamming his back into the house’s musty wall.
Michael responded with a quick stab to the side of Jason’s neck, pushing back on the undead killer and wrestling to move him away. Jess slowly crawled away from Jay’s corpse, the adrenaline slowly dissipating from her as the pain in her arm returned in full swing. The blood rushing down her face blinded her, all she could hear was the sickly sound of knives thunking against the skin, slams against the wall, and heavy breathing.
She bit her bottom lip, holding back any noise from coming out of her mouth. Desperately trying to wipe the blood off her face with her bad arm, she caught a glimpse of the slasher’s battle. Jason stuck his machete upwards through Michael’s chin, while The Shape continued to repeatedly stab at the zombie’s stomach. Jess moved her bad arm backwards, planting it directly on a splinter. She couldn’t help it, the swear fired out of her mouth like a bullet, redirecting both slashers to their victim trying to escape.
Letting go of Michael, Jason wrenched his blade away and walked towards the bloody teenager, holding his machete up high. Jess blinked as she scrambled away with one arm. Jason suddenly wasn’t chasing her anymore. Michael stuck his knife into Jason’s chest and gripped at his neck, slamming him against the wall and squeezing. Michael’s breaths came out hot and heavy, made louder by the mask he was wearing.
Jason grabbed onto both of Michael’s wrists, pulling away as he tried to free himself from the killer’s grip. Michael narrowed his eyes angrily, only squeezing harder. Jason slammed his machete into Michael’s side, but this momentary distraction gave Michael all he needed, and he snapped Jason’s neck with a sickening crunch. The undead killer slumped onto the ground and was still. Still breathing heavily, Michael stood up. He pulled the machete from his side and threw it on the ground, retrieving the knife from Jason’s chest.
Twisting around, Michael and Jess locked eyes. Jess’ breath caught in her chest, and Michael walked towards her, raising his knife once again. Screaming, Jess scrambled to her feet, stumbling backwards. Michael crossed the distance between them in seconds. One slice and it would be over…
A machete erupted through his chest, poking out of Michael’s sternum. Blood squirted over Jess’ face, who was frozen in fear. Her whole body felt cold and hot at the same time. Frozen and burning with agony. Stepping backwards, she lumbered towards the hallway leading to the front door, tears staining the corners of her eyes.
Jason stood behind Michael, gripping the machete’s handle with one hand and gripping Michael’s shoulder with the other. Without a sound, Jason lifted Michael up in the air by his machete. Blood dripped down onto Jason’s hockey mask. His face creasing in anger, Jason twisted around and slammed Michael to the ground, heaving the machete away from his body. Dust kicked into the air and mouldy floorboards shattered to pieces from the impact. Michael lay still on the floor, his feet pointed towards Jess and his body unmoving.
Turning around, Jason saw Jess slowly making her way to the door. Breathing heavily, the masked madman rushed through a doorway into the kitchen, angrily wrenching drawers open to reveal the contents within. He plunged his hands into the drawer, pulling out a fork and bursting through the doorway back into the large living room.
Jess’s hands slipped on the doorknob, coating it in the sickly red fluid that covered her body, matting her hair so densely it looked as if it were dyed red. Drawing his arm back, Jason flung the fork in her direction. It spun through the air, glinting off the small amount of moonlight. Jess’ head turned as the fork buried itself in her left calf, sending a burning pain throughout her body. Screaming, Jess desperately slammed her hands on the door for someone, anyone, to rescue her.
Jason made a step towards her, but as he did so, the fight in her body evaporated with a small shiver. She slumped over, her hands dragging over the door, slicking a trail of blood against it. He took another step towards her, but Michael sat up in a flash. Jason’s head flicked down to him in a mixture of anger and a slight bit of surprise.
Michael stood up slowly, the wounds on his body healed over, his blood no longer spilling. Breathing slowly, he looked down towards Jess, lying still on the ground, a fork embedded within her calf, her arm leaking blood, her body covered in Jay’s blood. Turning around slowly, Michael saw…nothing. It was as if Jason had disappeared into thin air. Grabbing his knife, Michael thought for a moment.
A floorboard creaked somewhere in the house. Upstairs. Jason was upstairs. Anger pulsing through his body with every beat of his heart, Michael silently crept up the stairs, each step submerging him further and further in the eerie darkness. Silent as could be, Michael stepped into an equally silent hallway.
Slinking down the hallway, knife drawn, he opened the first door on his left. The room was pitch black and tiny. There was room for a single person. A toilet. Michael barely considered the room, turning to leave. He crept down the hallway, floorboards around him creaking and sending deep noises through the house. He passed the second door on his left and opened it. He stepped inside slowly, the phantoms of shadows dancing across the wall, a result of the minimal moonlight and slowly swaying trees.
Michael turned around. A body, many hours older than the two teenagers that foolishly wandered into the building was laid spread-eagle across the floor. Their cold, dead eyes stared up at the ceiling, seeing nothing, processing nothing. Michael stared back at the corpse curiously. He hadn’t seen them before. But he had a job to do. Michael stomped on the head with the full weight of his body. Like a meaty balloon, the head exploded, the red liquid draping the floor in velvet. Gooey brains and hard skull meshed together and battered across the walls. Michael continued on his journey.
Turning to the first door on the right side of the hallway, Michael opened it slowly. Black as pitch, the door opened to a bedroom where wet, dead flowers were placed on a bedspread. One leg stained red, Michael entered the room. He looked around. The room was barren. There was a bed with a table beside it and a wardrobe. Perhaps it had been a guest room.
The door closed behind him. Michael turned his head slightly. The vase smashed over his head, drenching it in old water. Jason followed the attack by grabbing him by the neck, and throwing him back into the wardrobe. Michael recovered quickly, shooting to his feet and swiping at the hockey-masked murderer with his knife. The blade caught on Jason’s jacket, tearing the tattered garment that much more. Jason lashed out with his free hand, cracking Michael over the head with a right hook that discombobulated Halloween’s greatest killer.
Punching through the wardrobe door, Jason pulled out a metal clothes hanger and rushed forwards, plunging it deep into Michael’s left eye. Stepping backwards, Michael thrust his knife deep into Jason’s stomach and swiped left. Blood spurted from Jason’s stomach and a wet mass of intestines fell out, but if it affected him, Jason didn’t let anyone know. Yet Michael continued his assault, pushing back with an assault of his own. He buried his knife deep into Jason’s shoulder, pushing him backwards.
Ripping the coat hanger from his eye and throwing it to the ground in disgust, Michael charged forwards, charging into the other bulky slasher and knocking him backwards. Jason stumbled into the back wall of the bedroom, the back of his head shattering the window letting the tiny bit of light they had in.
Michael walked towards Crystal Lake’s Killer slowly, placing his hands on either side of Jason’s head. His disguised face creasing with rage, Michael dug his thumbs into Jason’s eye sockets, squeezing his head. His thumbs plunged into the moist depths of Jason’s eye, squeezing his hands together, tighter and tighter. He heard bones crackling under the pressure, blood ran out of Jason’s eye sockets, running down his hands and hiding in his sleeves.
Jason’s hand shot out suddenly, grabbing at Michael’s neck with his rotten, dead hands. The zombie squeezed at Michael’s neck, pulling it towards the wall. Jason slammed the Boogeyman’s head against the wall. But as Michael squeezed tighter, Jason slammed harder. Every slam broke through more and more of the wall. He plunged Michael past the plaster and sunk him through the insulation. Michael let go of Jason’s head and grabbed at his knife, holding one of Jason’s arms with his other hand.
Jason gave Michael one last look of contempt and threw him. He slammed him through the rest of the wall, exposing him to the outside for the first time, but when he slammed the Shape through the wall, he didn’t keep a grip on his neck. Michael tugged at both knife and arm, felt something rip itself from his grip, and fresh air entered his nose. The wind rushed in his ears. Suddenly, Michael felt the ground come up to meet him, slamming itself into his back.
Jason looked down through the new hole he had made using Michael’s body. Rain splattered across his coveralls, washing the blood away from the kitchen knife gripped safely in his left hand. In his right hand, though, was something muscly and long. This wasn’t a knife. Jason turned his head.
One of his arms was missing, and it didn’t take a genius to realise where it had gone. Looking back out the hole, Jason’s body filled bubbled and toiled with rage. Michael was gone. There wasn’t a sign of him being there. Jason looked down at the ground soaked with rain.
And he was suddenly there. His body was assaulted by hundreds of water droplets, carrying his blood across the grass. Three prongs stuck themselves through his chest without warning, carrying him off the ground and propelling him forwards. A large metal shed, two bedrooms wide, stood proudly in the rain, glistening with moisture. The weapon he was impaled on carried him through the wall, sheets of metal slicing at his body. His body slid off the pronged object. He heard it clatter somewhere behind him.
Jason turned around. He saw a flash of red flying towards his neck. The axe embedded itself deep within, almost cleanly severing right through his neck. Michael stood there. Jason’s old arm was nowhere to be seen. The pitchfork that had been used to transport him was lying on the ground next to Michael, Jason’s blood dripping onto the floor slowly.
Standing up, Jason wrenched the axe from his neck. His skin reconnected itself within a matter of seconds. He looked down at the bloody mess that used to house an arm and could have scoffed. To Michael’s quite genuine surprise, a brand new arm reformed from nothing so quickly that it could have been a mirage. The Shape paused. And tilted his head, much like a dog.
Picking up the pitchfork, Michael continued his assault, embedding it deep within Jason’s chest. Reaching out, Jason clung to Michael’s arm, pulling him closer and closer. He bore his eyes deep into Michael’s, each face creased with an irate fury. Using his free hand, Jason snapped the handle, splintering the end of it. Twisting it around, he drove it deep into Michael’s stomach. Undeterred, Michael pushed the pitchfork deeper into Jason’s torso.
The sickening crunch of ribs entered both their ears, but they both pushed on. In the end, both of them knew that the ribs would be repaired within seconds. Michael’s head turned, and his eyes landed on a handsaw lying lazily on a table. He snatched it and swung it towards Jason’s wrist in a flash of silver. Red filled both of their eyes as Jason’s wrist disconnected from his hand. Jason looked down towards the new stump where his hand used to be.
Yet, his hand still gripped tightly on the splintered handle of the pitchfork. His other hand fired out, grabbing Michael’s face in an iron-strong vice. He raised the stump that was once an arm and plunged it deep into Michael’s face, where his mouth once stood proudly. Like paper in water, Michael’s mouth was decimated in seconds as Jason’s arm plunged right through it, firing blood onto the walls like a rain of gunfire.
Jason wrenched his arm from Michael’s face and brought it to his face. He watched intensely as his hand grew back, stronger than ever. Jason looked back to Michael and shoved his hand down Michael’s throat. The Boogeyman choked, blood gurgling up Jason’s sleeve, staining his jacket, and yet Jason continued to plunge. Elbow-deep down Michael’s trachea, Jason’s hands brushed something spongy and wet. He snatched at it, and brought his arm back to the surface, dragging the substance with him.
Lungs. Lungs and other organs were dragged out of Michael’s body. Intestines were dragged with, spilling across the ground like a pile of spaghetti. Tube-like organs dangled out of the crater where Michael’s mouth used to be.
Crushing a lung under his hands, Jason picked up the large intestines splattered across the ground. Michael raised his arms in a meagre attempt at a defence, but Jason nevertheless spun it around his neck and pulled. The slippery intestines constricted themselves around Michael’s neck, silently choking him.
Michael plunged the hand saw into Jason’s stomach and dug it upwards, cleaving through his skin and bone like nothing. The momentary distraction was enough for Michael to slam his saw into Jason’s throat, pushing the killer backwards. Freed from his own intestines, Michael slammed Jason against the wall, plunging his hands deep into the opening he carved in Jason’s stomach.
The Shape pulled out Jason’s stomach. He pulled Jason down, forcing him to his knees. Fury etched into his every movement, Michael slammed Jason’s stomach against his chest, bursting it open and splattering gastric acid over Jason’s torso. Immediately, the acid started to eat through his body, burning through his clothes, sizzling ever so slightly. Michael wrenched the hand saw from Jason’s neck and threw it to the side. Kicking Jason to the ground, Michael stepped back and looked to his right.
A string trimmer was leaning against the wall. Picking it up, Michael inspected it closely while turning to face Jason, who was getting to his feet. Michael flipped a switch and pulled the cord. Immediately the trimmer roared to life, the string whipping around dangerously. Jason straightened his mask and brought himself up to his full height. Both maniacs studied each other curiously.
On one side, Jason. Chest eaten away by acid, zombified skin dangling by bits of sinew, chest heaving furiously. Michael stood opposite him, holding a roaring string trimmer. The gaping hole in his face had repaired itself, but there was still a fist-sized hole in his trademark mask.
Michael lashed out quickly, rushing forwards and swiping at Jason with the trimmer. The string dug itself into Jason’s knee, but the masked killer kicked out, crushing the shaft. The whirring suddenly stopped, replaced by a sickening clunking. Jason gripped at Michael’s neck, twisting around and pinning him against the wall. Rearing back, he slammed his other fist into the Boogeyman’s face. Blood splattered against his hand, but Jason punched again. And again. And again. Over and over until a normal man would have surely kneeled over and died.
And yet, Michael gave him no reaction. Not even a grunt. He was silent, his face eerily blank, hammered again and again by Jason. All he did was dart his eyes down to the string trimmer, ripping the engine free from the shaft with ease. With still no expression, Michael struck the engine against the metal shed, sending a shower of sparks over the engine. The engine that relied on petrol.
The engine combusted with the force of a small warhead, enveloping the large shed in a mighty fireball that hammered against both Jason and Michael. The force of the shockwave rocketed through them, punching them through the air. They crashed through the metal roof of the shed, flying through the air, enveloped in flames.
Jason crashed through a wall on the second story of the house, flying through like it was made of cardboard. He slammed onto the floor with such force that it gave way. Jason fell through the floor and into the kitchen, slamming his back into the oven and twisting its various knobs. The oven started to spew out gas at an alarming rate, slowly filling the room with the dangerous gas.
Michael flew through a window on the first floor of the building, the glass shards digging into his back as he slammed onto the floor. The shockwave of the explosion hammered against the house, shattering the glass shards lodged in his body. Sending minuscule, almost microscopic shards of glass deeper into his body like thousands of tiny needles.
Slowly getting to his feet, Michael looked around. He was in the living room of the house. He could tell first and foremost from the stench of death. Jay was still on the floor, his intestines still lying on the ground, his face the pale-white of death, his eyes seeing nothing, his body feeling nothing. Pulling out his knife, Michael walked through the room, stepping over Jay’s corpse like it were a toy left on the ground.
He turned down the hallway and saw her. Jess, clinging onto the last gasps of life she was able to suck into her body from the air. Her eyes were wide, a blank look of fear on her face. She was mere minutes away from death, and she knew it. Every breath seemed to push some more of her energy out of her body, inching her closer to her death. As she watched Michael approach her, she secretly prayed. Prayed that it would all be over soon. She felt her body leave the ground. She dimly recognised a large kitchen knife being dragged across her neck. New blood mixed with the old as it spilt from her neck, Jess barely recognising the sensation.
Deep inside her, she knew she was dying. Her heart defiantly pumped in her chest. She flopped to the ground, her vision blurry and only one thing on her mind. Death. Fear suddenly seemed to spike across every part of her being, flooding her cells, replacing the last of her blood with a sickly feeling. She wanted to scream, but her sliced open throat disallowed her from making noise.
She gurgled a small amount of blood. Her mouth dimly tried to expel a word, but nothing happened. With an air of finality, Jess’ eyes widened, if possible, even further and her body gave a great shuddering breath before her eyes finally glazed over and she stepped into the blissful nothingness of her next stage in life.
Jason walked out of the kitchen, his body ablaze, his burning hand gripping tightly over his forever loyal machete. He seemed larger than life, like a monster. Breathing heavily, he looked around. He turned to the left and saw Jay’s body splayed across the ground. He looked back ahead of him. As the fire around his body burnt itself out, he saw Jess, strung up upside down in front of him. Her face flooded with blood, but unmistakably dead.
Michael stepped out from behind Jess’ corpse, holding his kitchen knife angrily. How dare he?! How dare he take the kill! Jason’s anger somehow grew, and he charged. He slammed his machete into Michael’s side as Michael plunged his blade deep into Jason’s shoulder. Pulling their fists back, Jason and Michael both threw a punch with the full weight of their bodies behind them.
Michael’s fist slammed against Jason’s hockey mask, sending a crack running through it. Jason’s fist sunk into Michael’s face, sending a wave of power through his skull, splintering the bone with a meaty crunch. The Shape ripped his knife free of the zombie slasher and stumbled backwards, shaking his head to recombobulate himself.
Twisting around, Michael ripped Jess from the roof and grabbed her legs. He spun around, swinging Jess’ corpse around like a baseball bat. Jason raised his arm to protect his head as Jess’ body slammed into him, forcing him to stumble to the side or risk falling. Throwing the teenager’s body to the side, Michael used this opportunity to charge forwards, plunging his knife deep into the eyehole in Jason’s mask.
Jason ripped the knife out of his eye with ease and twisted it around in his hand. Walking forwards, he plunged the kitchen knife into Michael’s throat, catching him off-guard. The Shape grabbed at the knife’s handle, but Jason struck with his machete, pinning Michael’s hand to his shoulder. As Michael stumbled backwards, Jason grabbed Jess off the ground and swung it in a wide arc, slamming her face into the knife in Michael’s neck.
The blow knocked Michael against a wall and drove the knife deeper, embedding it within the wall behind him, pinning him against it. Far from content with this, Jason grabbed Jess by the head and charged forward, slamming her head against Michael’s. The force of the blow was far too much for Jess’ skull, and it shattered into pieces over Michael’s head, showering him in blood and bone as her head was blown apart.
Tossing her body on the floor, Jason looked over at Michael lazily. Michael looked at him, before walking forwards, driving the knife deeper and deeper into his neck. But he continued to walk forwards, sliding through the knife until there was nothing piercing his neck anymore. He ripped his knife from the wall. Both mask and knife were coated in blood and brains. He ripped his hand free from the machete, nearly splitting it in half as he freed himself from the zombie’s assault.
Turning to Jason, Michael walked toward him with his arm outstretched. Jason threw his fist forwards, leaning closer. But the punch harmlessly sailed past, as Michael tilted his head, narrowly avoiding the fist as it flew past his head. Gripping his neck, Michael plunged his hands deep into Jason’s chest and ripped his ribcage from his body.
Without a second of delay, he slammed the ribcage into Jason’s head. Sharp bones stabbed at his eyes, buried themselves in the top of his head and bathed themselves in the blood of its former home. Jason ripped his machete free of Michael’s shoulder and swung it at the Boogeyman’s head. In a flash of silver, Michael deflected the blow with his own blade, sending sparks showering over the floor.
Jason ripped his own ribcage away from his head and threw it onto the floor, slowly brushing himself off. His tissue started to repair itself immediately, and he allowed it a moment to recover. The smell of gas entered his nose. It would have caused any person immediate concern, but Jason was not a person anymore.
Without another second of delay, the two unstoppable killers attacked. Jason held his machete high and swung it downwards, forcing Michael to move to the side. The Shape stabbed at Jason’s side, but his hand was grabbed and held back before he could land a blow.
Stepping backwards, Michael and Jason raised their blades, daring the other to make a move. There was an intense second of waiting, before they both struck. Each aiming for the other’s heart, the two killers thrust their knives forwards, metal slashing against metal, scraping against each other, firing up sparks and sending them flying into the other fighter’s face.
And that’s when the world ignited. As if the very air around them combusted, the entire building was wrapped in a fireball that seemed to boil the oxygen around the both of them. Fire filled the building and surrounded the two fighters, but as if the shed explosion helped them prepare, both of the masked murderers didn’t move a muscle. They continued to stare blankly at each other as if the world didn’t suddenly explode around them.
Jess and Jay’s bodies were a very different story, instantly bursting into flames. Their skin charred and their blood boiled away. Jason and Michael’s faces creased with anger, and they attacked once more. As if the fire around them fuelled them on, they attacked each other with a renewed vigour, stronger than anything they had done before. Every slash they landed seemed to slice through bone like it was nothing. Jason stabbed Michael through the chest, nearly bursting their eardrums from the crack that came from Michael’s ribs.
Michael stabbed Jason in the stomach and slashed sideways, spilling blood and guts over his hands, but the stomach gash seemed to repair itself in seconds. Planks of burning, rotten wood fell to the ground around them. Jason slashed at Michael’s chest, spilling more blood and muscle, and similarly, the skin began to repair itself. Michael slashed at the zombie’s stomach again, spilling more intestines. He plunged his hands into the bloody mess, pulling out organ after organ as Jason repeatedly stabbed the side of his head, twisting the machete and cutting through bone.
More of Michael’s mask started to get cut apart as he continued to rip organs free from Jason’s body. Michael’s skull continued to repair itself as did Jason’s organs. Blood hit the wood and evaporated into the air, filling their noses with the sickly metal scent.
Slash after slash. Body part after body part fell on the ground around them. Michael tore one of Jason’s arms free as Jason picked up a burning wooden plank and struck Michael around the head with it. Showers of embers and sparks rained down upon them. Their bodies were ablaze, every knife slice was followed by a stream of flame, burning their skin.
Jason landed a machete into the side of Michael’s neck, severing arteries and tendons in a renewed stream of evaporating blood. Fire and metal were all they smelt. But as if it were just an average day, both masked fighters said nothing. Michael landed a knife into Jason’s remaining arm, but the zombie said nothing. Jason punched through Michael’s stomach, his flaming hand scarring tissue and burning organs from the inside, but Michael said nothing.
Like some form of twisted revenge, Michael plunged his hands into Jason’s body and pulled out everything he could lay his hands upon, snatching and dragging with a conviction even he hadn’t experienced before. Jason buried his machete into the top of Michael’s head, but all Michael did was grab at the organs a little faster and a little harder.
Jason grabbed Michael’s wrist and snapped it without a second thought, but Michael wasn’t deterred, his body already working to repair the damage. The zombie kicked the Boogeyman down to the ground, placing a foot on his chest to pin him down. Michael dug his knife into the burning wood and flicked embers into Jason’s eyes, searing them and causing him to stumble backwards. Standing up straight, Michael plunged his hand into Jason’s chest, looking for the one organ he hadn’t yet pulled out.
And when he ripped his hand away, he was proudly clutching a thumping, beating, living thing. Jason’s heart. He looked down at the heart clasped firmly in his hand, and stared at it. Beat. Beat. Beat. It defiantly beat in Michael’s hands…rhythmically. It was entrancing. A slow, steady beat. It was beautiful in a way. Jason watched Michael staring at his heart with a sickly sense of satisfaction on his face.
Such rhythm. Voices seemed to whisper in Michael’s head, urging him to bring the heart to his mouth. His hand slowly moved to his face, and his mouth opened slightly. Jason walked over to Michael, watching as he brought the heart closer and closer to his face…
And crushed it in his hand. Michael scooped a burning wooden plank from the ground and swung it into the side of Jason’s head, staggering him. Grabbing him by the mask, Michael slammed Jason into the wall. Jason raised his arm to swing his machete, but in the blink of an eye, Michael crushed Jason’s head against the wall, shattering the hockey mask under his palm. Almost in slow-motion, Michael watched the pieces of the mask hit the floor and brought his hand back.
Underneath the mask, Jason’s face was bloody. Disfigured beyond belief, charred and zombified. His skin was a clammy grey of death, his few teeth jutted out at strange angles, a deep yellow in colour. Jason touched his face with his hands, and his face creased in a wave of unmistakable anger, disfiguring him even more.
Jason moved to retaliate, but Michael grabbed the front of his face again and slammed him against the wall. He plunged his knife into Jason’s stomach, and again. And Again. Again. Again. Again. His hands nearly became a blur as he continued to stab Jason in the stomach. Time and time again, his searing hot blade took the dive into Jason’s body. Jason’s arms jerked around as each stab landed. Michael slashed upwards with his knife, coating the front of his body in Jason’s blood. With a dull finality, the house falling the shreds around them, Michael stabbed Jason in the neck, pinning him against the wall, his feet no longer touching the floor.
Jason weakly reached for the knife in his throat, his hands shaking. With one final look at Michael, face full of venom, his eyes closed and he slumped over. Stepping backwards, Michael observed his fallen enemy. Gross, ugly and awful, but in an odd way, with death washed over him, he seemed to look better.
Michael’s head tilted as he continued to stare at Jason. Burning wood fell around him, his body enveloped in flames. The kill was finally his.
Jason’s eyes flew open and his hand reared backwards. Before Michael could mount a defence, Jason punched through his chest, ripping his heart out of his body and crushing it to paste between his fingers. Ripping his arm free of Michael’s chest, Jason pulled the Shape’s knife out of his neck and stood up straight. He seemed to tower over Michael, and before the Boogeyman fought back, Jason raised his machete and brought it across Michael’s mouth.
Stumbling backwards, Michael clapped his hands over his face, blood squirting out from between his fingers. He pulled his hands away from his face, leaving the lower half of his jaw to dangle off his face, held on by bloody strings of skin and a single joint. He lifted his machete in the air, and brought it down into Michael’s head, cleaving it vertically in two. Michael’s mask peeled away from his face, fluttering to the ground and revealing what lay behind.
Gurgling weakly, Michael reached out towards Jason, who grabbed his wrist. In a flash of silver, he brought the machete down onto Michael’s hand, slicing it off. He followed by slicing off Michael’s other hand. More blood than what seemed possible rained down upon Jason, but he was far from over. Throwing his machete to the side, he grabbed one of Michael’s legs and pulled it free from the rest of his body with an angry tug and a mountain of blood. Michael’s body seemed to freeze in place, wobbling dangerously, blood spraying out of his hands, head and leg.
Using his leg like a bat, Jason swung upwards, slamming Michael’s leg into his own face, kicking the last bits of his lower jaw off, knocking what was left of Michael’s body onto the floor. The rest of Michael futilely tried to crawl away, using its only leg to slowly move away from the hulking muscle that was Jason Voorhees, but silent pleas fell on deaf ears, and Jason reached down and grabbed Michael’s other leg, tearing it away from his torso within seconds.
He threw the leg to the side as a gift for the fire. Grabbing Michael’s lapel, he lifted what was left of his body off the ground and grabbed the top of one of the halves of Michael’s head. He grabbed the other half with his other hand and pulled his hands apart. Like a zipper moving down a jacket, Jason pulled on both halves of Michael’s head, the seam spreading down Michael’s chest, down his stomach, reaching his pelvis.
With one final pull, he ripped the rest of Michael’s body in half. Angrily, he slammed the halves of Michael’s head together, turning them both into paste under his hands. The two halves of Michael’s body fell to the floor in a squelch and were still. Angrily, he stomped on one of the halves, halving it yet again with a fiery thud and a spray of bone and blood.
Breathing heavily, Jason walked over to his machete and picked it up. As the rest of the burning house collapsed around him, illuminating the sky like a beacon in space, Jason walked out of the rubble, the rain thudding over his body, washing the blood down his body and into the grass. As his body extinguished and the house collapsed on what remained of Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees sucked in a deep breath and began to walk through the trees, searching for any unlucky person to stumble across him.
He heard a voice in his head. A feminine voice that was all too familiar to him. His mother, Pamela. “You’ve made mommy proud, Jason. You can never die. Make everyone remember.”
And as he continued on, his skin started to heal itself, his wounds repaired. His burns were slowly washed away by new skin. Jason continued on, healing quickly, looking for new blood.
Conclusion[]
Kaiya: WOAH-HO-HO! That fucker did NOT mess around! Is Damien even allowed to watch that?
Damien: I can handle it.
Counter: Right, well. Michael may have been smarter and steathier than Friday’s greatest killer, but Jason had everything he needed to put Michael down for good.
Hannah: Jason was quite a bit stronger than Michael. Sure, Myers could shatter wooden doors and crush human skulls, but so could Jason. Voorhees could also compete with his Uber form and significantly damage him. Uber Jason directly survived being shattered through a steel door and survive explosions worth 1.5 tons of TNT. Michael has never really had to compete with someone like Jason.
Kaiya: Sure, Michael has possibly survived a church exploding on top of him, and survived that explosion in a hospital, but the hospital explosion not only severely damaged Michael, but Dr. Loomis also survived it, who is just a regular human. Not only that, but in A New Blood, Jason possibly survived a house exploding, much like Michael and the church. Hell, in the Thorn timeline, he isn’t really mentioned after the church explosion, so we have no confirmation he lived or not.
Damien: Either way, Jason has either similar or superior feats of strength to Michael, and would more than likely overpower him. Him fragmenting a wooden door would take 120 grams of TNT, but Jason has survived blows that are over 800x stronger.
Counter: This also means Jason is quite a bit tougher than Michael, too, especially with him being crushed under a 10 tonne boiler and being fine. However, Michael was slightly faster at Mach 0.1, but Jason has outrun helicopter fire and blitzed normal humans, so this speed difference really wasn’t all that great. Either way, Jason’s teleportation gave him greater mobility in the end, and helped him keep up with the Boogeyman.
Hannah: Speed was a pretty big non-factor in the battle anyway. Jason and Michael both prefer to chase down their prey and tank their hits before getting close enough to deliver the final blow. There isn’t really a scenario where either fighters rely on their speed and work to dodge people’s blows. Even if Michael was slightly faster, in the end it really didn’t matter.
Kaiya: But we know what everyone’s here for: Who’s regeneration was better. Both have survived car crashes, gunshots, stab wounds, chemicals, getting their eyes destroyed, etcetera. However, Michael has never regenerated from a direct grenade taking out most of his body in seconds, or regenerated a whole arm. Jason’s regeneration was just a lot better. This meant less of Michael’s attacks were going to be a large problem for him.
Damien: Michael’s regeneration is nothing to scoff at, but compared to Jason it just isn’t helpful in keeping him in the fight, as Jason could come back from far more far quicker. This is also not taking into account that due to compositing Michael, we’ve also looked at him from the 2018 timeline, where he is blind and missing two fingers as a result of the 1978 movie. Not only was Jason’s regeneration a lot better, it was a lot more consistent. Jason could and would take a lot more punishment before going down or needing time to recover, meaning he could whittle down Michael until getting a killing blow.
Counter: But could he get a kill in the first place? The Curse of the Thorn is a powerful thing, allowing him to basically be immortal until every last Myers family member is dead. Until they’re all dead, Michael technically can’t die, so how could he ever lose? Well, it’s powerful, but it doesn’t instantly heal him of any injury regardless of severity. He still needs time and effort to recover. Jason could incapacitate him very quickly through decapitation or getting rid of his legs or something like that. Considering his sizeable strength advantage, he easily could.
Hannah: Sure, Jason probably couldn’t possess Michael due to him technically already being possessed, but he really didn’t need that to win. Similarly, there might be some circumstances where Michael uses his clearly greater intelligence to set up a trap for Jason for a win, but that is a very specific circumstance and isn’t a great enough wincon to tip the scales.
Kaiya: And, not to mention, a machete is a much better weapon than a kitchen knife in pretty much every way.
Counter: Michael may have been faster and smarter, but Jason’s strength, toughness, and unstoppable regeneration allowed him to take the win.
Kaiya: Looks like Myers took the Michae-L!
Counter: ...the winner is Jason Voorhees.
Jason Vorhees vs Michael Myers is an episode of SoMaShadow's Death Battles. It features Jason Vorhees from the Friday the 13th series, and Michael Myers from the Halloween series.
| Jason Vorhees vs Michael Myers | |
|---|---|
| Season | TBD |
| Season Episode | TBD |
| Air date | TBD |
| Written by | SoMaShadow |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous TBD |
Next TBD |
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Description[]
Friday the 13th vs Halloween!