RED vs. GOLB

This is a What-If? Death Battle featuring RED (NES Godzilla Creepypasta) and GOLB (Adventure Time)

Fan Made Death Battle Trailer- RED VS GOLB

RED (NES Creepypasta) vs GOLB (Adventure Time)
Season 1-bonus, Episode 1
Vital statistics
Air date	3/31/2021
Written by	RohgeKiller
Directed by	RohgeKiller
Episode guide
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Prelude

Wiz: I'm going to be honest with you Boomstick. This one might just be the end of us, and everything else on the planet.

Boomstick: I have to, unfortunately agree with you, Wiz. We've seen reality defying men who can roundhouse kick a blackhole and giant purple god cats that can wipe out entire galaxies. But today, oh boy... we had to go real deep into this one so I hope you're all fucking grateful.

Wiz: RED. The psychotic and destructive Hell Beast from Godzilla's NES.

RED is R-E-D-D-Y

Boomstick: And GOLB. The pure embodiment of Chaos.

Gargantuan Obese Lazy Baby

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Coming to you live from our fallout bunker for what could be our final broadcast.

Wiz: As we summon these two monstrous, remorseless and honestly Over-Powered beings of destruction to find out who would win a Death Battle!

RED (NES Godzilla Creepypasta)

Wiz: Zenith. A world from an alternate dimension that is almost nothing like our own. Like the others in its solar system, its a harsh and brutal planet ruled by the most perverted and abnormal creatures you can imagine. The ground itself appears to be made of nothing but flesh and bone and where there should be water, is nothing but lava.

Boomstick: So overall, not a good vacation spot. 1/10 on Vacation Express. The only positive is that its as far away from us as possible... at least I hope it is.

Wiz: Well you better do more than just hope, Boomstick. Because above its hellish appearance, there is something sinister lurking within its depths. A creature so fowl that very few have lived to even mention it by name. The Hell Beast and ruler of Zenith, RED!

Background

• Alias: The Hell Beast, Spider Beast, Shadow of Red
• Origin: Godzilla NES
• Age: Unknown
• Height: Varies
• Weight: 66,000 metric tons
• A very divisive Creepypasta (you either love it or hate it)

Boomstick: That thing is NOT pleasing to the eyes. It looks like a centaur that half melted onto a scorpion which was also eating crab legs at the time. And that open mouth doesn't help at all. Overall, not at all attractive. 0/10.

Wiz: Looking good is not really its first priority. No, that would be the complete and utter destruction of anything and everything that opposes it. From Mothra, to King Ghidorah to Godzilla himself. RED is a very dangerous, if not mysterious beast. Not much is known about the hellish kaiju apart from its sheer hatred of all things good.

Boomstick: Well it is a Creepypasta, Wiz. Sometimes you just what you get, and I'd hate to get this. The most dangerous thing about RED is what we don't know, which is quite a bit. But what we do know about him is enough to keep me as far away as possible. Seeing as he can dominate and manhandle Godzilla, he's got to be very powerful.

Wiz: And powerful he is. Is his normal form, RED uses physical attacks from his claws and scorpion like tail (get over here). He is larger than Godzilla and King Ghidorah and as such is much stronger. His attacks also include spewing hellfire from his maw and energy needles from his claws. He's also incredibly fast in all of his forms and seems to 'glitch' the world around him.

Boomstick: Did we say glitch? Yes we did because it turns out, RED and all of the worlds he appears in, are stored in a small NES cartridge. Thats only like 1Mb of RAM, how does that even work?

Wiz: Because my shotgun loving friend, RED is proficient in Reality Warping. Whether that be on himself or his opponents, RED can warp the fabric of reality to his liking and then some. He can create other beings from the souls of those he's killed, make himself invincible, trap his enemies in endless loops or literally raise levels of Hell. (While not entirely confirmed, I will be assuming he can at least alter the fabric of Hell to a major extent)

Boomstick: In fact he is so powerful that he not only created Zenith and presumably the other worlds in the game, but he can even affect people in the REAL world. Breaking the 4th wall. He did that to this Zach guy who bought the game and was dumb enough to keep playing it despite all the warnings that something was wrong. 0/10 on common sense.

Wiz: Going back to that, he was able to paralyze the player and even stop his heart. As well as making him feel the pain of the monsters he was playing as, meaning, yes he did in fact defeat Godzilla, Mothra and others. This put his powers on a multi-planetary, and even minor multi-universal level, since it's implied he wanted to conquer the universe he inhabited.

Land Form

• Can breathe hellfire from its mouth
• Can swallow objects whole
• Sharp, elongated tail
• Can attack with it's spider-like legs
• Claws
• Death Touch

Swimming Form

• Adept swimmer
• Can breathe hellfire if on land
• Ability to rain naval mines from the sky
• Can swallow objects whole
• Can use a tongue formed of intestine to devour objects
• Claws

Flying form

• Flight
• Can breathe hellfire from its mouth
• Claws
• Can use a tongue formed of intestine to devour objects

Final Form

• Strongest form physically
• Grows to around 1-2 kilometers
• Can breathe hellfire from its mouth
• Can fire needles made of hellfire from its hands
• Can shoot red hot needles from its mouth

Boomstick: And he's got more than enough tools to do so. If his normal form doesn't do the trick, he can swap it out for some alternate modes. Flying, running and swimming. And each one has their own unique abilities like raining firebombs from above, shooting fire needles and even increasing the power of his hellfire.

Wiz: All of his forms are also very durable. They can withstand the atomic breath of Godzilla, keep up with the acrobatics of Mothra and destroy any obstacle that comes their way, seemingly without any rest.

Boomstick: But of course like any good monster, he has a Final Form and HOLY FUCK... that thing is ugly! Wiz, I take back what I said about your mother. THIS is the worst thing I've ever seen.

Wiz: REDs final form is the ultimate solution to anything that he deems a threat. It stands roughly 400 meters and easily overpowers anything it comes into contact with. He can fight multiple Kaiju back to back, further warp the reality of the game by making himself even stronger and prevent the player from escaping their duel by any means. Truly, there are few that can contend with RED at his best.

Strength

• Physically dominates Godzilla
• Is easily the strongest creature, next to the Moon Beast, in strength
• Can consume collapsed buildings and other kaiju

Endurance

• Doesn’t tire easily, even after chasing the player for multiple levels
• Final form can outlast Godzilla, Mothra, Solomon
• Does have an energy meter

Speed

• Fast enough to catch Mothra and Solomon
• Flying form can dodge most attacks
• Travels across planets regularly

Feats

• Far stronger than the Moon Beast, who broke the Moon in two
• Was said to have RAISED a level of hell
• Killed someone who was close to the player relationship-wise
• Killed Godzilla, Anguirus, Mothra and Solomon with little effort
• Somehow stopped the player’s heart and nearly killed them
• Broke the 4th Wall MANY times
• Controls and created much of the world it resides in

Faults

• Was defeated and presumably killed by Acacius
• Still confined/limited by the games mechanics
• Weak to attacks revolving around divinity

Boomstick: I mean, what did you expect? An easy fight just because it lives in an NES game? Again, this thing can create worlds, corrupt other beings, break the forth wall and so on. You might as well slap a button on him that reads: ''I basically can't lose.''

Wiz: Well as powerful as he is, I wouldn't say he's unbeatable. He can still be harmed and feel pain from weaker Kaiju. RED has no actual resistances and relies on his durability alone to tank blows, and his arrogance also cost him in the end when he fought and was presumably killed by Acacius.

Boomstick: And remember how he lives in a game cartridge?

Wiz: Despite being able to affect Zach from the outside world and make his final fight as challenging as possible, RED still lost because he is limited and confined by the restrictions of the game world. He is stuck there for the most part and has to abide to its limitations, no matter how much he warps reality. In a final fight scenario, this could make him more dangerous if he truly feels threatened.

Boomstick: Still, I wouldn't want to get on his bad side, or any side. RED is easily one of the strongest Creepypasta characters and no matter how much you want to turn that game off, you're not leaving until he's done with you...as in you're dead.

''YOU ARE NOT LEAVING!''- RED to the Player

GOLB (Adventure Time)

Boomstick: Come along with us all the butterflies and bees to the Land of Ooo. A strange place where dogs are made of rubber, unicorns are rainbows and princesses are trying to bang a thirteen year old boy who's lost his arm on numerous occasions. Just ruined that for you didn't I?

Wiz: It's certainly an odd world to say the least, and its dangers are no less so. Fortunately most of the monsters villains are manageable. All save for The Lich: A cosmic harbinger of death and chaos. He alone nearly destroyed Ooo on multiple occasions.

Boomstick: Why is this important? Because he's a novice compared to the all time, most powerful character Ooo has ever seen. Lurking within the voids of space like something out of H.P Lovecraft is the Chaos God, GOLB. Yes, thats his name.

Background

• Alias: Chaos God, Embodiment of Chaos
• Height: Unknown. Several Kilometers.
• Weight: Unknown.
• Age: Came from an age before there was nothing, only monsters
• We know more about the waving snail than we do about him

Wiz: Very little is known about GOLB, and even fewer know of his existence. While he looks like a giant, red baby that drifts slowly through the spaces between time, he wields far more power than any other creature in the universe. Including Hunson Abadeer and Orgalorg: the latter once ruling the solar system.

Boomstick: Are you surprised? I was when I saw this giant baby with a pyramid head who turned out to be the Embodiment of pure Chaos. I'm surprised Shadow the Hedgehog hasn't sent a defamation lawsuit.

Wiz: And everything we do know about GOLB is utterly terrifying. He's likely been around since before time itself, which before that was nothing, and before that were just monsters. It doesn't make a lot of sense, I know. But the point is that GOLB has had plenty of time to become the single greatest threat in the universe.

Boomstick: And we mean, THE! There is no other being in Ooo, aside from one but we'll get to that, who can even come close to matching this demonic God of Discord.

Abilities and Skills

• Transmutation breath
• Abstract existence (embodiment of chaos)
• Immunity to physical harm
• Levitation
• Likely a high intelligent being
• Reality warping and Dimension hopping
• Chaos, weather, death and void manipulation
• Absolute existence erasure
• Absorption and Nullification of Magic/Reality Warping
• Resistance to reality warping, BFR and existence erasure

Boomstick: You'd think he wouldn't be able to do much since he doesn't move, but you'd be dead wrong. He possesses MAD reality warping skills. He can manipulate the weather, destroy acres just by showing up, but his most useful ability is his transmutation breath. This must be how it feels to chew 5 gum: mutating other beings into monsters.

Wiz: Said monsters are nearly indestructible themselves and seem to only exist because GOLB dictates it. They have their own unique abilities depending on what they were previously. And the strongest can content with Gumball guardians, who were able to physically harm The Lich.

Boomstick: Speaking of physical harm, forget about it. Thanks to his immortality and warping of reality, he is immune to all physical damage. You heard me right. Though I guess if my purpose was to literally pop out of space and destroy entire worlds, I'd want invincibility just by chance I run into a Death Star.

Wiz: As an abstraction of Chaos, he exists everywhere and can manifest in and destroy any dimension or world he wants with 'nigh-omniscient' speed. There are no plains of existence he can't access and to top it off, any world or being he consumes is erased from existence, entirely!

Boomstick: Remember Prismo, a multi-universal wishmaster who can grant any wish? Even he isn't capable of reversing those effects. So when he eats something, it doesn't come back thanks to Existence Erasure. And if you think he can't be any more powerful, well, weren't you paying attention?

Wiz: Above all else, GOLBs greatest ability stems from his resistance to reality warping. As said, Prismo couldn't undo his work. But even Betty wielding Ice Kings crown, which normally grants the user with their deepest desire, wasn't able to banish or destroy him. Making him, on a theoretical sense, inevitable.

Boomstick: Take that, Thanos.

Strength and Stamina

• Unknown. Likely immeasurable.

Durability

• Near Indestructible
• Immune to all physical damage
• Resistance to reality warping

Speed

• ‘Nigh-omnipresent’ or infinite
• Moves between the voids in the universes
• Remains motionless when in his dimension

Feats

• Considered to be THE most powerful Adventure Time character
• Has erased countless worlds and beings from existence
• Annihilated most of his surroundings in Ooo just by being there
• Most likely created or warped The Lich into existence
• Even Prismo can’t reverse his effects
• Couldn't be banished from Ooo or wished out of existence by Betty, who was wearing Ice King's crown
• Only had a hole molded by Jake's singing, meaning that harmony isn’t guaranteed to kill him

Faults

• Harmony and order is GOLB's natural weakness
• Was ultimately merged with Betty
• Relies mostly on his summoned monsters to fight for him

Boomstick: I guess when your name is a play on God, you've earned a reputation of being unstoppable. As far as we know, there was no real plan to ever kill him, just delay him. And GOLBs been around so long and consumed so many worlds that its a miracle there is anything left in the universe.

Wiz: But like everything in the universe, there exists an opposite to GOLBs chaos. In this case, the ideals of Harmony and Order. It was these things that prevented GOLB from destroying Finns pillow world, until he died of old age. The mere presence of Harmony can damage his body and counteract his reality warping for a moment. Theoretically, enough of it could kill him.

Boomstick: And his merging with Betty does show that he can still be manipulated by other reality warping abilities. They just have to be extremely powerful. He also doesn't move all that much and prefers to let his monsters fight for him like any overconfident God.

Wiz: Keep in mind, he is also said to be very young as far as a Chaos entity goes. So he still has growing to do.

Boomstick: This thing is an actual baby? I'd hate to know what he's capable of if he manages to grow up. Good thing he prefers to just sit and watch. I'll tangle with the Lich any day.

''I know exactly what I am. I am the ceaseless wheel. The last Scholar of GOLB.''-Lich describing his relationship to GOLB.

Pre-Fight

Location: Zenith

Zenith.

A world unlike anything in our own solar system. Its reddened surface burns hotter than Venus and is twice as red as Mars.

The planet itself was nothing short of a cruel joke against nature. Its lakes were made of the hottest lava and its scenery consisted of broken, misshapen hills made of flesh and mountains of bones as high as Everest. The atmosphere of the world was as non-existent as the hope any being had of walking out alive.

Unfortunately for one young Zachary, he knew his chances of survival were slim.

No, he wasn’t on the planet per say. He was out there; on the ground in front of his television. Hot tears running down his eyes as he struggled to even blink at this point. Feeling his tired fingers lock into place, his arms bent uncomfortably. He found it more difficult to breath with every passing second and was honestly surprised he hadn't passed out from a lack of oxygen.

You know his story by now. The poor man had just wanted to relive some childhood memories and play some old games on an NES. What he had thought would be a few pointless hours of fun turned out to be minute after minute of nothing but pure heartache.

All because of him.

RED.

The massive amalgamation of scorpion, crab and god knows what else. It was the sole ruler of Zenith, and soon, the ruler of an entire universe.

The monstrous Kaiju that had crushed Solomon and devoured Mothra and Godzilla like they were nothing more than mere ants. The monster that had created the entire world of Zenith from the souls of the damned. The beast that was currently reaching through the screen with some unforeseen power and piercing his very heart.

The very being that drove his dear friend Melissa to suicide.

The atrocities of RED are numerous, and yet there wasn’t a being in this universe that could stop him. Poor Zach had come close, so close to avenging the spirit of his friend. And yet it just wasn’t enough. He'd beaten every puzzle, answered every question and defeated all the monstrous beasts that had come his way. And yet none of that prepared him for the final battle.

Because RED refused to let Zachary win.

YOU ARE MINE

And poor Zack could only scream as his towering foe laughed at his weakness.

YOU FAILED

RED spoke through the screen, though in reality it was nothing more than low roars and shriek's. He taunted the human boy one final time before reaching out to grab and rip his soul apart, to torture for eternity.

And when he was done, he’d do the same to the next foolish buyer.

GAME OVER

But then something unexpected happened. Something that even RED hadn’t prepared for as the screen began to warp on Zach's side, with RED breaking his concentration and leaving the human, still paralyzed, but safe from further harm for the moment.

RED turned to look behind him as high above a large mountain of bones was a massive, crimson portal. From there came something strangely familiar to RED, but nonetheless, a stranger to his realm.

It was unlike anything that either Zach or RED had seen, which said quite a bit. A large, four eyed, almost baby-like creature as red as blood and larger than all the landscapes around them. Said landscape, despite being made of pure flesh, seemed to rot under its mere presence as the already scarlet sky became even more so.

It sat in a permanent state of meditation, forever concentrating on its one and only goal.

The destruction of all life.

WHO ARE YOU?

This was GOLB. A mysterious and destructive embodiment of chaos. He’d been traveling between the dimensions of the universe, looking for any habitable world to consume. And he just so happened to find Zenith by mere coincidence. Still, a world was a world.

Its four eyes turned slowly towards the approaching RED, whose maw stretched in complete and utter frustration. Leaping from one mountain to another before landing so close to GOLB that he could practically taste his power. He’d come this close to claiming Zachary’s soul, and this giant baby was now standing in his way and threatening his world.

And he wasn’t about to have that.

YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE ME!

I WILL STRIP THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES!

Fight!

Nes Godzilla Creepypasta Ost - Red Rage

GOLB made the first ‘move’, which was more of a gesture as his mouth opened slightly. Breathing out a ghostly, hand tipped breath that permeated the entire area. Not knowing what to think, RED transformed into his flying form and evaded the stenches grip for the moment.

But it continued to flow before corrupting the very ground, creating creatures that looked right at home on Zeniths terrifying surface. This included the fallen body of Solomon. Twisting and transforming it into a hideous amalgamation of what was once Solomon, and the very flesh of Zenith.

It forced open a mouth of spiked teeth and locked eyes with RED. Flying towards the kaiju killer who opened his maw to hook the creature with its tongue. Disgusted, he pulled it closer and enveloped its head within its maw. Ripping its head from its shoulder and tearing its body in two, defeating it just as easily as the original.

PATHETIC

RED turned in the air to face the giant intruder, who closed his mouth and remained still. Hovering above the chaos below and simply watching as the numerous monsters made their way towards RED.

The Hell Beast transformed into his running form and opened his maw once more. Unleashing hellfire and burning the monsters below, wave after wave, melting them. Those that seemed resistant to his attacks were swiftly cut down by his claws.

One with a large, ape-like body had managed to slip past him and grabbed him by his tail. But with a glitch of the screen, RED had teleported and reappeared behind the larger beast. Plunging his tail right through the monster's skull and devouring his body like the others.

And yet despite the impressive show of force, GOLB didn’t react in the slightest. RED wasn’t sure if this was because he wasn’t impressed, or simply didn’t have the mental capacity to react. Either way, he’d already had enough.

I WILL NOT FALL TO YOU

Glitching the screen again, RED appeared closer to GOLB in his flying form and began his own attack. Heading above the larger beast and dropping naval bombs from his wings. They exploded off the skin of the red baby, but there was no visible damage seen.

Wary of his foes size, RED continued to assault GOLB from a distance. Flying only close enough to burn the monster with his unforgiving Hellfire. But even when he did get close, GOLB did almost nothing except follow him with his many eyes.

Opting for another approach, RED grew to a larger size, almost as big as GOLBs head. He changed back into his normal form and dug his claws into the beast's skull, hoping his death touch would finish it off.

But unlike Godzilla or Mothra, GOLB didn’t even flinch. No matter what RED did, the cosmic god wouldn’t move and showed no signs of discomfort. It became clear to RED that this being was also rather skilled in reality warping. The monsters he created, the physical immunity, the resistance to his death touch…

WHAT ARE YOU!

From behind, he sensed something move and saw a corrupted form of Mothra make its way towards him. Her eyes now bleeding profusely and her wings stripped to the very bone. Yet that didn't stop the former kaiju spreading them and unleashed a storm's worth of bloody needles his way.

Bravely, he leapt from GOLBs crown and enveloped the Mothra lookalike, swallowing it hole just like the Solomon clone, and landing painlessly onto the ground. Staring up at the giant with more hate than he’s ever held for even Melissa. As more creatures created by the behemoth rose from behind him, RED turned with glowing eyes and stopped them in their tracks. Paralyzing them with a mere glance.

His eyes glowed brighter as tried the same thing on GOLB, but he wasn’t sure if it had any effect. The chaos driven deity didn’t move much in the first place, and the Hell Beast wasn’t even sure if GOLB had a heart.

Frustration building, RED roared, ripping apart the very fabric of the planet before slamming his body into the ground. The crust uprooting and from under the large intruder came massive volcanoes. He’d created the very planet below him and as such, could do so much more than simply watch over it.

THIS IS MY WORLD.

AND IT SHALL BE YOUR HELL!

From the earth below came mountains worth of lava, spewing from their tips and engulfing the red behemoth from above and below. So engulfed in lava he was that it almost looked like the sun itself was about to burn the planet to cinders.

But despite all convention: GOLB was unfazed.

The lava eventually fell from his body like water on a curtain, leaving just as he was before, without a scratch. And GOLB, for the first time since arriving, turned his head towards RED and let out a low growl.

If REDs face could have any other emotion than disdain, it would be disbelief. Never in his life has RED seen such power in anything but himself. For once in his life, he was unsure of himself.

WE APPEAR TO BE AT A STALEMATE

He contemplated for a moment. He knew that this beast would be hard pressed to catch him, but nothing he did seemed to have much affect. It was like this, thing, didn't exist at all. Or at least not on a physical level.

The gargantuan beast that so far had shrugged off all of his blows, and yet it was real. He just needed to find a way to hurt it, and hurt it good. So perhaps it was time to raise the scales.

If he couldn't hurt GOLB, then he would bend him to his will until he wished he could feel pain.

The Triumph of King Freak (A Crypt of Preservation and Superstition)

BUT I AM BEYOND YOU.

BEYOND HEAVEN AND HELL!

With another roar that shook the very earth like a massive earthquake, REDs body melted into a bloody stain before reforming into his most powerful form yet. His neck elongated and body growing beyond all physical limitations. Now standing at nearly equal height and more than ready to finish off the intruder.

His eyes glowed as he peered into the abyss. Peeling back the literal 4th wall and gaining access to information that only he was capable of. Information that requires power...

… Like the power to warp the fabric of Hell itself.

Marching towards his foe, RED fired multiple waves of fiery needles to distract the beast as he smashed the ground with enough force to cause the plates of the planet to shift. One massive chunk flying into the air and smashing into the still GOLB like a freight train. Pinning the large, infant-like monster between the earth.

Unfinished, RED opened his mighty maw and unleashed a wave of hellish energy that engulfed everything in his general direction. The blast of flame wiping the very ground from reality with its unbearable heat. Racing straight for the meditating GOLB.

Everything seemed to shake, the world around them becoming static. Monochromatic greys clashing against each other as the blast collided with its target.

YOU ARE NOTHING

The blast consumed the area, obliterating everything in sight and on a planetary level was large enough to take a chunk from Zenith. Which is exactly what RED was hoping for. How he achieved his goal didn’t matter.

All life was his to destroy.

His eyes narrowed, satisfied for the time being. He turned to the screen where the still immobile Zach had watched the entire battle play out. Secretly, the human hoped that the strange, new monster would have been enough to kill RED and save him and his dear friend.

But it didn’t seem that way.

I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YO-

Without any warning from either from his own sense of precognition or the frightened Zachary, the earth below RED shattered into millions of pieces. Like a glass dropping from the height of a jet plane and into an incinerator.

RED roared as he found the very crust of his own planet breaking, mountains shattering and rivers of lava spewing high into the air. His glowing eyes widened as he leapt onto a more stable piece of earth.

Before he could question anything, the answer was revealed as the pyramid shaped head of GOLB broke through the fiery lava barrier before him. Rising from the ground without a single scratch.

And for the first time in his life, RED was more than afraid for his life.

Also for the first time, GOLB moved more than he had before and roared right in REDs face. The roar disintegrates much of the world around them, turning it to dust. His hands moved and grabbed the Hell Beast by his neck, snapping it with enough force to further break the world around him.

But RED still lived and clawed at his attackers flesh to little avail. His mouth hanging open as he blasted GOLB with direct Hellfire, and yet like everything else, it did nothing but give him only a few more precious seconds.

WHAT IS H̸̹͍̺̫͓̥̱͚̣̻̜͉̙̀̋̔̓́͋̓̈́͋ͅͅȂ̸̧̡̨͖̺̜̣͓̮̼̰̹̭̓́͐̈́͒̓̈́̅͜͝P̸̘̘̳̈́̓͌ͅP̷̩̎́͊̓͐͌͝E̷̟̙͇̟͍͑̿͐̈̌̾̅̊̽̎̿̕̕͜N̶̮͉̖̜̫͑̿̅̈́̅̑͒̎̌̆͑̔͒̊͝ͅͅI̷͙͚͝Ṇ̶̛̳̄̏̽̃̍̓̌̂̽̈͐̕͘͝G̷̢͎̯̠̜͙̠̜̹̪̃̈̏͗̈͘!̷̢͇̻̳̟̹̪̺͔͍̃͑̄́̅́̋̂̃͂́̔̎

The red monster opened his own mouth and, whilst crushing REDs body between his palms, pulled him closer to his gaping maw. His blue tongue wrapping around REDs struggling face.

̶̢͚̞̺̩͍̹̮̬̪͔͖̳͐͂̌̃̈̂̓̅̏̃̈́͠

̷͇͖͚̪͎͌̀͋̈́̽̿̚T̵̺͚̂͗͛̏͂̐̔͠H̶̡̭̜̖̎̓͆́͊͊̒̏́̔I̵͙͓̫̪͕͔̭̯̘̝͓̜̽̄͊̾́̓ͅͅŞ̵̨͕͚̝͇̦͍̰̮͎͇̼̉́̈́̈́͛̑̌̃͝ ̵̡̣͓͕͍̝̜̞̬̫͔̉̀̋̆͘͜͝C̵̡̰̼͕̝͇̠̟̞͍̐̍̈́͛̀͝Å̷̛͖̗̞̙̣̞̳͖̳̻̦͔͙̭͐̈́̚ͅN̸͇̫̙̳̋̀̊͂'̶̢̭̱̦̺̲̙̠̭̻̻̳̮̼͑̕T̶̳̋ ̸̢̢̟̝̰͓̲͚̜̰͚͐͆̃̋̈́̐̀̚͘B̴̪̭̀̂͆̇̇̚̕͝͠͝E̷̥͋͋̈́͑͑͂̊!̴̡̛͕̟̻͎͍̎̍̅̀

Despite his struggles, RED knew at this moment that there was no escape. He tried in one last effort to paralyze GOLB before he could properly devour him, but it just wasn’t working. Nothing was.

N̷͉̗̹͔̣͚̱͉̹̥̣͆͜Ở̸̝̗͎͚͉̦̣̜̪̀̏̍͘ ̸̻͐̌N̸̢̹͇̦̩͇͔̟̣̊̚̕͠Ọ̸̘̟͍̤̫̤̞̣͖̠̾͂ͅͅ ̴̢̤̦͖̤̝̠͓̭̍̐̓͂̌͆̏̾̎̔̌̓͊̄͜N̶̢̗̺̱̦̼͙̹̼̯̒̈́̎̉̏͝Ǫ̶̧̲̫̳̻̖̪̠̺̞̀̍̑̂̌̊̽̔̂̑̓̚ͅ ̸̢̛̤̟͍̖͉͖̲̐̿͊͊͛͂̌̑͂̕̚ͅN̷͈̯̞͍̬̠̭͚̩̟͐͑̅̔́͐̀̿̐̅̎̈́̀Ọ̷̺̅͊́̅̈ ̵̳̭͕̮̺̖̘͉̤͌̇̅͗̌̐̒̓͝͠͠ͅN̸̨̹̺̺̻̲̋͗̾̓̽͆̕͠O̸͕̳̗̭̝͎͇̳̅̊̇ ̴͎͓͔͔̠̭̯̠͉́͌͑͒͂̒̔N̷̰̻̄̈́͘͠O̵̜̜̟̜͚̖̔̉̍͛̂̃̈́̔̚͝͝ ̶̨̛͂̀͌̈́̉̂͐̓͘N̷̨̟͍͙͖͎͇̄̆̊Ó̵͂̄-

With one emphatic close, GOLB slammed his jaw shut and decapitated RED, snapping his body in two like a twig as he did. Shoveling the rest of the beasts body into his mouth with little fanfare. Even had RED survived the final bite, it wouldn’t have mattered.

GOLBs body went to work on breaking down the one of his foe into its most basic form. Transforming it from a massive, twisted beast into that of a small NES cartridge which was then crushed in his trash compactor like stomach.

Forever gone.

Satisfied and feeling rather full; GOLB went back to its usual posture. Its eyes staring blankly into the nothingness that once was Zenith.

Because there was no Zenith anymore. Not a speck of dust or a trace of what once was. There was no RED anymore, and Zachary could feel control returning to his body from the other dimension. Whatever it was that occurred had unknowingly saved his life… for the moment. There was no more RED to torment him or Zenith to challenge him. Whatever dimension they previously inhabited was slowly being erased from history and from all dimensions. Soon there would be nothing.

Only GOLB.

Results

GOLB

• + Exists outside of time and space
• + Immune to all of REDs physical attacks
• + Existence erasure could permanently kill RED
• + Major resistance to reality warping
• + Faster (on a cosmic level)
• - Physically slower
• - Less attack variety

RED

• + More creative reality warping
• + More methods of attack
• + Physically superior (except for strength and size)
• - No known resistance to opposing reality warping
• - Limited energy
• - Restricted by his game mechanics
• - Can be physically defeated

Boomstick: You know what they say: The more OP they are, the more likely they are to win.

Wiz: Both RED and GOLB are easily two of the strongest characters of their respective universes. RED could create and corrupt worlds while GOLB has destroyed entire dimensions. They were planetary level at worst, universe level at their best, and their respective reality warping abilities kept this battle as close as possible.

Boomstick: And yet there were a couple factors that kept the Hellbeast from taking the victory.

Wiz: RED did hold the physical speed advantage and was able to deal more direct damage, but his manipulation of Zenith and Hell proves that he is without a doubt a match for GOLB… except that was about it.

Boomstick: The giant red baby pretty much held every other advantage over the kaiju killer. RED can travel between worlds almost instantly while GOLB can travel between Dimensions without a problem. GOLB was immune to all of REDs attacks and likely had little fear for the Hellbeast to use against him. So powerful is GOLB that he didn’t even flinch when the most powerful forces in Ooo were trying to wish him away.

Wiz: When The Lich made it to Prismos realm, he wished for the destruction of all life and would have succeeded had Jake not reversed the wish. What this does mean is that even Prismo, who has the potential to annihilate all sentient life, couldn’t stop or reverse GOLBs effects.

Boomstick: And even when Betty did merge with GOLB, it wasn’t enough to kill him. Arguably it only bought Ooo a couple more years until Simon eventually kicked the bucket, while RED has actually suffered a defeat.

Wiz: RED wouldn’t have understood GOLBs abstract existence since he’s never fought anything like him. Even if he was able to break the 4th wall and find out about his weakness to harmony, it's very unlikely RED would be able to capitalize on that. He’s never had anything close to harmonic in his moveset, and even with his impressive feats like creating Zenith and raising a level of Hell, nothing suggests he can instantly warp GOLB to his liking like Betty did.

Boomstick: And don’t forget, none of REDS previous opponents had resistance to reality warping, let alone being able to erase entire worlds. Something like that would surely catch him off guard. Meanwhile, GOLB is easily more powerful than Orgalorg, who has destroyed entire worlds.

Wiz: It’s also not likely RED could manipulate GOLBs body or mind as we’ve only seen him do it to a mere human, and even then, it wasn’t guaranteed to grant victory. Theoretically RED could hack into the game cartridge and possibly use the more polyphony powers of Acacius or Melissa, but not only has he never been seen doing that, that wouldn’t guarantee a victory since Harmony still isn’t guaranteed to kill GOLB.

Boomstick: RED did have the advantage with more creative reality warping and could create all sorts of obstacles for GOLB to face, but attacking GOLB directly was never going to do much thanks to his natural resistance to reality warping. He could avoid a lot of GOLBs attacks but it wouldn’t matter unless he could deal a killing blow.

Wiz: But most importantly: GOLB could not only take the fight to RED, but he could eliminate his home field advantage and everything he threw at him thanks to his existence erasure. GOLB exists as a cosmic force between dimensions and thus, would have little issue wiping Zenith from history and preventing RED from recreating it. And because RED is confined and restricted by the space of his game, there wouldn’t be any form of escape.

Boomstick: That was REDs biggest fault. Even though he had more control over his world, he still had to obey the rules of the game. Even if this took place in a neutral playing field, GOLB would still win due to the fact that he can just erase everything RED tries to throw at him.

Wiz: To put it simply, RED and GOLB are equally similar in power and neither possessed the others specific weakness. However, GOLB is the only one who can negate REDs abilities and to top it off, can’t be physically defeated, unlike RED. It was a battle between a bulldozer that can destroy any wall, versus a wall that can’t be destroyed by bulldozers.

Boomstick: GOLB-dammit

The Winner is GOLB

Music

meant to say 'for' not 'or'

Next Time

Resident Evil Village: Battle Royale

Trivia

• This is my first bonus battle (simply means its not filtered in with the rest of my battles)
• This would most likely be a 2d battle.
• Words in all BOLD CAPS are REDs dialogue for the fight.
• RED took Melissa from 'the player' by convincing her to commit suicide, while GOLB took Margles away from Magic Man.
• Both are considered harbingers of doom that have other creatures fighting for them as minions.
• RED and GOLB are both red, giant, omnipotent monsters that inhabit their own dimensions. Their origins are also unknown.
• RED presumably created all the monsters 'the player' has to face, while GOLB has 'scholars', with the most famous being the Lich.
• Both are vulnerable to divine/harmonic energies. RED was presumably defeated by Acacius, who wielded some form of Divine magic. GOLB was harmed by Harmony created by BMO and Jakes singing.
• Funny enough, I almost didn't do this battle at all, but the delay of Ashi vs. Marceline (due to a certain troll) gave me enough time to get it going.