Introduction[]
Mortician: Eric Cartman, the fatass bigot resident of South Park!
Redshock: Mandy, the not so sweet little girl from Endsville
Mortician: Evil: It has many faces, and sometimes even a child's soul may become corrupted with Evil.
Redshock: Well These two evil, law breaking children are the opposite of a gift from god, hell I would say more a Fuck You from the devil!
Mortician: So why not put two cartoon most dangerous children for our 4th Death Battle Finale!?
Eric Cartman[]
Mortician: Eric Cartman is a resident citizen of South Park, often bullying, and abusing the people to get what he wants
Redshock: Because of him being so spoiled by his mother who is on the cover of crack whore magazine!
Mortician: Well Eric isn't a normal child by any means as he, hang on let me get the list of evil deeds from Cartman okay..he created an organization that exploited babies that were addicted to crack, Dressed up as Hitler and tried to exterminate the Jews, He spread Hate Speech about Ginger kids, Befriended Cthulhu, Gave his friend Kyle AIDS and fed Scott Tenorman his own parents!
Redshock: HE DID WHAT!!!!
Mortician: Trust that's just the tip of the South Park Iceberg, Cartman is a very strong boy despite his appearance, He knocked over a planetarium projector just by doing a casual kick, he smashed through a glass window in the pentagon twice, lifted a cartoonishly sized mallet and swing it down no problem, one time he was even able to beat Bilbo Bagginst to death with three hits to the head and he once sent another child flying backwards with one kick!
Redshock: Cartman despite his obesity is quite fast as he has dodged gun fire and when he is the Coon he can disappear and disappear in other parts of rooms when people aren't looking.
Mortician: Eric is one tough kid as he can survive a satellite the size of a building up his asshole, he once dropped from an Alien ship to the snowy ground below and was fine, Got right back up after being bucked and charged down by a large bull, he also has survived both Plane and Car crashes like they were nothing at all!
Redshock: Since we are adding stuff from the games, let's talk about his game stats! Eric can use an attack called The Belly Barge, Using "Belly Barge", Cartman can actually break walls with his stomach, he can also smash Robot Children to bits by jumping on them.
Mortician: The fatso’s also pretty fast! He can dodge laser beams and is faster than his in-show counterpart and he Can out run a giant tidal wave of pee on foot.
Redshock: Cartman is also tough as he can take getting pecked by multiple angry mutant turkeys, survive getting trampled/knocked away by stampeding cows, survive a cow being dropped on top of him, get back up after getting hit with futuristic/alien lasers, get back up after a small bomb goes off in his face, keep going after being bludgeoned with large metal bats and large metal hammers, keep going after being set on fire or being caught in fiery explosions, and even can keep fighting when on fire!
Mortician: Okay enough of his stats cause it's starting to hurt my brain, anyway he has two Alter Egos. His Coon suit which is his superhero persona which grants him razor sharp claws and a bike called the Coon Cycle. He uses massive attacks like the Coon Claws, a close range attack where he slashes at his opponents twice with his claws, leaving them bleeding. The Coon Lunge where Cartman dashes through his opponent or an entire row of enemies lined up in single file and slashes at them before reappearing behind them. Can be used to escape from being boxed in by multiple foes.
Redshock: The Coon Pounce where Cartman jumps high into the air and slams down onto the opponent. Also ends up switching spots with his opponent in the process. But his strongest attacks as the Coon has to be his Prime Time Coon where Cartman flashes images of tons of promotional material for himself Ads, Magazines, Posters, Interviews, ect before slashing his claws with such strength that he leaves giant claw marks on on the entire battlefield. This attack hits all enemies on the field and deals a great amount of damage.
Mortician: However using this ultimate ability requires time to charge up, and will do so every time Cartman deals or receives damage over the course of a fight, once used, Cartman will need time to recharge again.
Redshock: And his Grand Wizard King which he wears when role playing, He gains a stick which he uses to beat the shit out of people, it can actually do some serious damage, He can also has a few spells such as Magic Missile where he throws a tampon at the enemy in an attempt to gross them out, Flame Strike where he pulls out a bottle of hairspray and a lighter and combines them to make a makeshift flamethrower and makes a large blast of fire. If done well, it can leave the enemy with a "burning" status effect. Can also be used on two enemies in a row. That isn't all Eric has as he has fart powers?
Mortician: Don't underestimate Eric's fart powers, Eric can make Fire Farts! Yes you read that one right fire farts, And by farting directly next to someone for long periods of time, Cartman can cause so much fecal matter to build up in their nose they suffocate! With his Burning Cloud he pulls out a lighter and uses it to ignite his fart for a powerful fiery gas explosion. While it doesn't burn the opponent, it can actually help wear down an opponent's armor a bit
Redshock: Holy shit I want that!
Mortician: Eric is a cunning, and manipulative little sociopath, and he knows how to manipulate his friends, and ruin people's lives by turning the people they love against them!
Redshock: He's been able to manipulate a huge number of people, although considering it's the South Park universe where everyone seems kind of stupid it may not be as impressive as it could be. But even then he's great at cheating, infiltration, and has shown a talent for multiple fields! And Oh Boy he's got some weapons
Mortician: Cartman has A wooden bat used to violently beat people, A canister that shoots out mace in the form of thick foam, An actual fully functional blaster used in the Star Wars franchise, A standard chainsaw used during a zombie invasion in South Park, A small knife used for backstabbing, A regular flute that Cartman can use to execute "The Brown Noise" Anyone who hears "The Brown Noise" will immediately crap their pants, A Hand Gun, A large cartoon mallet that Cartman can somehow lift and swing no problem, A Nightstick Used for when Cartman became a police officer, P29 Stun Baton, An actual pair of Sai, A Regular Taser, A Taser Gun, A regular stick of dynamite lit by the fuse and finally he has the V-Chip which was installed in the South Park Movie.
Redshock: This allows Cartman to shoot electricity at his enemy's, I change my mind. I want all of these how can a piece of shit human be so unstoppable?!
Mortician: Well no, Eric is still a child and can easily be over powered up close, Isn't that great at hand to hand combat and can be tricked and be made a fool out of like the time Scott Tenorman sold him his pubes.
Redshock: Still with all these flaws you have to admit he is one badass kid!
Cartman: “Respect My Authoritah!”
Mandy[]
Mortician: Mandy Selden may look like an average little girl, but she is the literal embodiment of evil.
Redshock: You said it, she even scares the Grim Reaper himself on multiple occasions, when she was a baby wolves tried to take Mandy and raise them as one of their own when she was born. I repeat she was raised by Wolves!
Mortician: As a result of the Grim Reaper attempting to obtain the soul of Mandy’s idiot classmate Billy’s hamster, they compete with him in a game of limbo to prevent this. As a result of losing, Mandy, through a bet, started owning the Reaper himself, now bidding to the whims of both Billy and Mandy.
Redshock: And apparently she can break the 4th wall jumping into other cartoons like Codename Kids Next Door and Fosters Home for Imaginary Kids, huh do we have another Deadpool on our hands.
Mortician: DON'T SAY HIS NAME!!!!
Deadpool: HELLO!
Redshock: Dammit I forgot alright let’s get this over with.
Deadpool: That's what your wife said last night, Doc’s too.
Mortician: I swear if you say his name one more time I’m going to kill you!
Redshock: Woah! Ok calm down let’s just get back Mandy. Mandy being the literal embodiment of Evil she has shown to have an almost supernatural power of her own like Teleportation, Flight, Distorted Reality, can Breathe in Outer Space, read minds, and a whole bunch of things.
Mortician: She also owns Grim which means technically she owns the scythe too allowing her to use the same Scythe powers Grim does like opening portals to other dimensions, Can deflect Electricity, Can Shrink or Grow people, create force fields, bring stuff back from the dead and become a lightsaber?
Redshock: This little girl may not look like it but she can take a hit. She has Survived an Explosion from a heat seeking missile, Hot Fudge, Fireworks and Oil. Survived a house Explosion. Can grab a flaming whip without hurting herself. Can survive electrocution and Survived fire breath from Cerberus, the Cerberus the 3 Headed Dog that can spit Hellfire that is 70 times hotter than the Sun!
Mortician: She is strong enough to twist someone's head with ease, Punch a giant monster into a set of lockers so hard it explodes, Punch the ground hard enough to create a shock wave powerful enough to blow away giant spider monsters and even Uppercut a giant slime monster into the sky. And can casually dodge laser beams just by walking.
Redshock: Mandy is also a bit of a genius; she constantly outwits Grim, overthrew the Kids Next Door, and even became President and lived her dream of taking over the world.
Mortician: Mandy has all sorts to weapons to use besides her Scythe, she has a Magic Ruler, Flamethrower, Hammer, Whip, Baseball Bat, Sword, World’s Stickiest Glue, a Magic Trading Card that can summon a monster that turns people into toast, a Magic Ring that can call an army of the undead, and a Whistle that summons Cerberus
Redshock: She may be tough but she has her weak points, she’s just a mortal child sure she has done some crazy supernatural feats but she is still human, she can also be easily overpowered by physically and mentally stronger foes.
Mortician: And she has some strange fears like the Chocolate Pudding Chair and professional skaters? But it doesn’t matter when you're going up against this little blonde devil.
Mandy: “Shouldn't you be playing outside or something?"
Death Battle[]
Prologue[]
It was just a normal day in South Park until a mysterious portal opens up and out comes a little girl holding a scythe. The girl looks around at the town and citizens. “This is one cheap looking dimension”. Mandy hungers and looks for food and looks around and hears an explosion coming from a supermarket. We see a supermarket in ruins and see a chubby kid punching a cashier in the face. “THAT'S FOR CALLING ME FAT ASSHOLE!”. Cartman sees a box of Cheesy Poofs on the floor “Cheesy Poofs? don't mind if I do”. Just as Cartman was reaching for the box Mandy shows up a grabs the Cheesy Poofs “HEY GIVE ME BACK MY CHEESY POOFS YOU FUCKING BITCH!”. “Like you really need the extra calories you fat repulsive swine”. “YOU WILL RESPECT MY FUCKING AUTHORITAH!”.
FIGHT![]
Cartman dashes for Mandy and tries delivering some blows, which Mandy blocks. He manages to get Mandy on the ground with a low blow and a backwards throw. Cartman takes out a nightstick as Mandy gets up. Cartman gets multiple hits on Mandy with his nightstick until Mandy uppercuts Cartman so hard Cartman starts flying back and crashes through a building. Mandy teleports where Cartman has landed and delivers multiple punches at Cartman until Cartman swipes her face with a dagger. Mandy wipes the blood off her cheek. “You seem a little irritable. You got some sand in your vagina?, Maybe this will soothe your nerves”. Cartman pulls out a flute and ear plugs. “A flute? What's he doing?”. Cartman's about to play the flute. She reads Catrman's mind, we see flashes of various things and sees that Cartman's attempting to play the ''Brown Noise'' a sound made with the recorder that causes the listener to lose control of their bowels and "poop their pants" if listened for to long they die. “Ew!”. Mandy pulls out a laser gun and shots the flute away before Cartman gets a chance to play it. “This is your last chance, either walk away or I'll kick your fat butt”. Cartman pulls out a blaster “I would never let a girl kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!”. The two continuously fire their handguns as they walk towards each other. Cartman then goes in for his coon claws. Mandy tries countering it, but Cartman has her cornered and uses the opportunity to stab Mandy with his sais and kick her to the side. Mandy tries keeping her head straight from the beat down. Cartman takes this opportunity to eat a bunch of spicy foods that he conveniently had and to charge for a fire fart. Once he's fully charged he fires his flame fart but Mandy quickly uses the scythe to create a force field.
Cartman pulls out his hand gun and fires shot after shot, damaging Mandy's force field. Eventually Cartman breaks Mandy's shield, Mandy is forced into a corner as Cartman points his gun at his opponent's head. “Looks I win Bitch”. “But just as Cartman pulls the trigger... the weapon's out of ammo. “Ah Fuck!”, “looks like someone wasn’t counting”. Mandy does a series of teleporting attacks until Mandy throws a perfect punch and hits Cartman that sends him flying, eventually bringing him to the ground. Mandy then uses the scythe and stabs Cartman in the back four times. Mandy then picks up Cartman and throws and jumps up and uses the scythe to slice him in half. “Pathetic”. Mandy grabs the bag of Cheesy Poofs and creates another portal showing Grim and Billy watching TV. Mandy flips off Cartman’s corpse and walks through. “Ah Mandy, there's my scythe, did you get any snacks”. Mandy throws the bag at Billy; he chuckles and begins scarfing. She looks at the camera “that’s all folks”.
FINISH!
Results[]
Redshock: Ah What Bullshit?! Screw you guys I'm going home! *Redshock leaves the studio in a fit of rage*
Mortician: Sorry guys. He's a big South Park Fan, But anyway Cartman may be very intelligent and resourceful but Mandy was just naturally prepared for anything. Some of his best plans require prep time. While it's kinda hard to debate on who's more intelligent, Mandy was definitely the more physically capable fighter of 2 being able to take on giant monsters while Cartman got his ass kicked by Wendy Testiburger and PC Principal. Mandy had more special abilities than Cartman. His impatience and wanting to finish the job right away played into Mandy's hands. Looks like Cartman couldn't slice it right Red?
Redshock: *Redshock comes back*: Whatever The Winner is Mandy!
Comparisons[]
Trivia/Connections[]
Trivia[]
- Track Name is "Hell Spawn"
- Track Art is a Welcome To South Park Sign with Grim's Scythe cutting it in half
Connections[]
- Both are Cartoon Evil Children who come from a small middle America town (South Park and Endsville)
- Both are well known for evil acts against other people, creatures and sometimes their own friends (Billy and Grim, Stan and Kyle)
- Despite both being children they are insanely dark, demented and narcissistic (Mandy wanting to rule the world, and Eric being a bigot)
- Both have parent/s that love and care for them despite how psychopathic they are