Death Battle Fanon Wiki

Eric Cartman vs Bart Simpson is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Eric Cartman from the South Park series against Bart Simpson from The Simpsons series. 

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South Park vs. The Simpsons! Which juvenile law-breaker will break each other first?



W. People always say that Children are a gift from god and many other people say that Children are the greatest gifts you will ever receive!

B. Well These two evil, law breaking children are the opposite of a gift from god, hell I would say more a Fuck You from Satan!

W. Eric Cartman, the fat, cheesy poof loving, resident of South Park!


B. And Bart Simpson, the trouble making, resident of Springfield


W. Just to make this fight better we are going to have Composite Cartman vs Composite Bart

B. He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick!

W. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Eric Cartman[]

W. Eric Cartman is a resident citizen of South Park, often bullying, and abusing the people to get what he wants

B. Because of him being so spoiled by his mother who is on the cover of crack whore magazine!

W. Well Eric isn't a normal child by any means as he, hang on let me get the list of evil deeds from Cartman okay..he created an organization that exploited babies that were addicted to crack, Dressed up as Hitler and tried to exterminate the Jews, He spread Hate Speech about Ginger kids, Befriended Cthulu, Gave a Kid AIDS and fed Scott Tenorman his own parents!


W. Cartman is a very strong boy despite his appearance, He Knocked over a planetarium projector just by doing a casual kick, he smashed through a glass window in the pentagon twice, lifted a cartoonishly sized mallet and swing it down no problem, one time he was even able to beat Bilbo Bagginst to death with three hits to the head and he once sent another child flying backwards with one kick!

B. Cartman despite his obesity is quite fast as he has dodged gun fire and when he is the Coon he can disappear and disappear in other parts of rooms when people aren't looking.

W. Eric is one tough kid as he can survive a satellite the size of a building up his asshole, he once dropped from an Alien ship to the snowy ground below and was fine, Got right back up after being bucked and charged down by a large bull, he also has survived both Plane and Car crashes like they were nothing at all!

B. Since we are adding stuff from the games, let's talk about his game stats! Eric can use and attack called The Belly Barge, Using "Belly Barge", Cartman can actually break (weak) walls with his stomach, he can also smash Robot Children to bits by jumping on them.

W. The fatsos also pretty fast! He can dodge laser beams and is faster than his in-show counterpart  and he Can out run a giant tidal wave of pee on foot, but his best feat is that Can react to,fight,tag Fast Pass who is fast enough to run around the entire planet three times in two seconds.

B. Cartman is also tough as he can Can take getting pecked by multiple angry mutant turkeys, survive getting trampled/knocked  away by stampeding cows, survive a cow being dropped on top of him,  get back up after getting hit with futuristic/alien lasers, get back  up after a small bomb goes off in his face, keep going after being bludgeoned with large metal bats and large metal hammers, keep going after being set on fire or being caught in fiery explosions, and even can keep fighting when on fire!

W. Okay enough of his stats cause it's starting to hurt my brain, anyway he has two Alter Ego's 1. his Coon suit which is his superhero persona which grants him razor sharp claws and a bike called the Coon Cycle.

B. And his Grand Wizard King which he wears when role playing, He gains a stick which he uses to beat the shit out of people, it can actually do some serious damage, He can also blast enemies with bolts of Magic after charging up over time, That isn't all Eric has as he has fart powers...

W. Don't underestimate Eric's fart powers, Eric can make Fire Farts! Yes you read that one right fire farts, And by farting directly next to some one for long periods of time, Cartman can cause so much fecal matter to build up in their nose they suffocate!

B. Holy Shit that's awesome i want it!

W. He also has his Toon Force and his moves from The Fractured But Whole and Stick of Truth!

B. Eric is a cunning, and manipulative little sociopath, and he knows how to manipulate his friends, and ruin peoples lives by turning the people they love against them!

W.  He's been able to manipulate a huge number of people, although considering it's the South Park universe where everyone seems kind of stupid it may not be as impressive as it could be. But even then he's great at cheating, infiltration, and has shown a talent for multiple fields!

B. And Oh Boy he's got some weapons such as A wooden bat used to violently beat people, A canister that shoots out mace in the form of thick foam, An actual fully functional blaster used in the Star Wars franchise, A standard chainsaw used during a zombie invasion in South Park, A small knife used for back stabbing, A regular flute that Cartman can use to execute "The Brown Noise" Anyone who hears "The Brown Noise" will immediately crap their pants, A Hand Gun, A large cartoony mallet that Cartman can some how lift and swing no problem, A Nightstick Used for when Cartman became a police officer, P.29 Stun Baton, An actual pair of Sai, A Regular Taser, A Taser Gun, A regular stick of dynamite lit by the fuse and finally he has the V-Chip which was installed in the South Park Movie.

W. It was originally installed in his head to stop him from swearing, It later began to malfunction after he touched an electric chair.

B.  This allows Cartman to shoot electricity at his enemy's, I change my mind i want all of these!

W. Cartman has also got a really good attack The Belly Barge Which is so strong that it can destroy walls with ease!

B. Whoa that so cool Eric must be perfect!

W. Well no, Eric is still a child and can easily be over powered up close, Isn't that great at hand to hand combat and can be tricked and be made a fool out of like the time Scott Tenorman sold him his pubes.

B. Still with all these flaws you have to admit he is one badass kid!

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Bart Simpson[]

W. Bart Simpson is the trouble making son of Marge and Homer Simpson, who causes mayhem in his school Springfield Elementary

B. Like Eric Cartman he doesn't really have a dramatic and emotional origin story so were just going to go straight to his physicality and weapons.

W. Bart is pretty strong since he has easily overpowered Nelson the Bully who by the way can lift multiple children at once and tanked multiple hits by his three mates Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney without a scratch!

B. Can physically keep up with Skinner in a stick-fight, who is strong enough to walk across a river and plow through a concrete street without a scratch AND Strangled an Adult Ostrich to unconsciousness with his bare hands what the fuck is wrong with this kid!?

W. This abused child is pretty durable since he has survived various Couch Gags which doesn't sound so impressive but let me explain, in the gag he survived getting stranded in a desert and survived getting getting stomped on by a giant foot!

B. He survived falling from a tall building to a waterfall oh and he survived getting strangled by his father regularly, Ahh I remember when grandpa Boomstick used to do that!

W. Em okay!

B. Anyway Bart has got some nice weapons such as his slingshot which he uses to fling rocks, rocks and even cats and dogs!

W. It's Slingshot eh hem, Bart's got his Cherry Bombs which are basically cherry fireworks that are so strong that they have been shown to be powerful enough to make all the toilets in his school explode like geysers, a stopwatch which gives Bart the ability to stop time!

B. Now he's got the Book of Magic which can raise hordes of zombies from the dead wait that's it Bart is the reason the zombie apocolypse in The Walking Dead started!

W. Probably not, anyway enough interruption this time, he's got experience with many fire arms such as handguns, shotguns and even machine guns!

B. He's also skilled in fighting and skills of driving cars and even tanks!

W. Bart's got many alter ego's such as his Bartman form which allows him to glide with his cape and use a grappling hook, he's got his Stretch Dude form which obviously let's him stretch, and Cupcake Kid where he has pies that he can use to throw at foes.

B. And Finally he has his Power Suit which increases his strength and comes with a buzzsaw hand that can cut through people and metal!

W. Now for powers he has Psychic Abilities, Skills in Magic although it's pretty shit, Size manipulation, Flight, Vampirism, Lycanthrope and Astral Projection.

B. Bart is not perfect though as he is still a kid, is kinda an idiot, his Durability is rather inconsistent and the Zombies can turn on him!

W. But even with all these flaws Bart can Prank the best of them and if you mess around with him, he will prank you!

"Eat my Shorts!"


W. Alright the Combatants are set it's time to end this debate once and for all!

B. It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!

Two evil kids clash


In the streets of Springfield we see a bus pull up right in front of the camera before driving away revealing a fat child in a red shirt and a blue hat who goes by the name Eric Cartman and his Mother Miss Cartman, The two then began walking down the streets for a couple of minutes before Cartman saw something and lit up with excitement.

Cartman: Meem! we need to go to the Arcade!

Miss Cartman: Sweetie we should go to our hotel

This message displeased the young child as he began getting angrier and angrier as his entire face was as red as a tomato, before he then snapped back.

Cartman: Will you just give me some fucking money!

His mother instead of punishing the child for his bad language instead fished around her purse before she grabbed three pennies.

Miss Cartman: Okay pumpkin when your done go to the restaurant over there!

Cartman: yeah yeah whatever!

Eric Cartman ran to the arcade and looked around in wonder looking for a game to play, sadly all the games were taken except one, The game was called "Pac Man. Cartman walked towards the arcade box and just as he was an inch away from the game, Bart ran in front of the arcade and started playing it.

Cartman: Emm hello jackass I was gonna play that!

Bart turned his head to the small annoyance and then said in a mocking tone.

Bart: Eat my Short!

Cartman looked at the boy in shock before he then shouted!

Cartman: Let me play the game you asshole or I will fucking kick your yellow ass!

Bart was in shock as he thought about this young child's challenge so he jumped off the stool and landed straight in front of Eric and said

Bart: Here's an idea let's fight and whoever wins get's to play the game!

Eric didn't even need to think before he grabbed Bart by his shirt and threw him away, Bart Simpson skidded across the road as he looked up and saw Cartman grabbing his Baseball bat.

Bart grabbed his slingshot and aimed it at Cartman as he said

Bart: Come on Fatass!

Cartman: Hey Don't call me fat i'm thick boned!


Cartman charged towards Bart doing a battle cry before he swung for Bart's face, The Simpson ducked underneath the swing and kicked Cartman in the back making him skid forward. Bart aimed his slingshot and fired a rock straight at Cartman's face making his head reel backwards, Bart charged towards the stunned Eric and kicked him in the face knocking him on his face.

Bart walked towards Cartman and aimed it at the back of his head ready to fire, Eric Cartman grabbed his bat and turned backwards like a flash swinging it at Bart's face making him stumble. Cartman then swung at Bart's stomach making him wheeze in pain, Cartman then swung upwards knocking Bart on his feet. Eric attempted to smash Bart in the balls with his bat, but thankfully Simpson scrambled backwards saving his man-hood.

The Son of the Simpsons kicked Eric in the cheek and stood up on his feet, Bart looked behind him and saw a cat walking down the street. The Prankster grabbed the Feline and then fired it at Cartman with his slingshot, Cartman looked up and suddenly began getting scratched violently by the Feline

Bart: This is for trying to crush my nuts!

He said as he grabbed Eric Cartman's baseball bat and swung straight into Eric's crotch!


Cartman: WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Eric shouted in agony before he fell onto his knees clutching onto his pelvis, Bart attempted to swing straight at Cartman's face. The Most Evil Child in South Park saw this and ducked underneath the strike and done an upward kick launching Bart upwards, Eric then reeled his fist back before he punched the falling Bart straight in the stomach launching him through a window of a restaraunt. Bart fell to the ground as the small pieces of glass fell atop him, The Simpson stood up and ignored the concerned Restaurant goers and ran to the back in an attempt to find a weapon, When he opened the door he saw Miss Cartman having sex with a waiter somehow not noticing Bart.

The Prankster closed the door silently and began walking away quietly before Cartman charged towards him and attempted a punch, Bart dodged the punch and grabbed his arm before he done a back hand fist to Cartman's face before throwing him over his shoulder (fucking somehow) Cartman slammed against one of the oven's cracking the glass and looked up seeing Bart showing off before getting into a stance.

Bart: KARATE!!!

Cartman done a battle cry before he attempted to stab Bart in the stomach, Bart then kneed Cartman in the stomach and then done an uppercut launching Eric into the air. Bart then slammed Eric into the ground and held him in a choke hold, This lasted for seconds before Eric bit into Bart's hand making him shout in agony and let go.

Eric punched Bart in the stomach, kicked him in the leg before grabbing him by the back of his head. Cartman then slammed Bart's head against a table multiple times before pushing his head to the right in the direction of a row of Wine Bottles and Glasses, Each time Bart's face made contact with the bottle and glass they shattered upon impact and after a while Cartman then slammed his head again.

Cartman attempted to stab Bart in the neck but Simpson elbowed Eric in the face and moved his head to the side, Simpson then slammed Cartman's head into the table making him stumble backwads. Bart then kicked Eric in the leg knocking him over, just as a fuck you Bart dropped a Cherry Bomb under Cartman before running away.


When the Cherry Bomb went off under Cartman it launched him into the ceiling causing it to crack before he then landed onto the ground with a crash, Cartman scrambled to his feet ignoring the fire alarm that was going off. The Child ran away, But Bart was waiting outside the door so when Cartman was at the door he then kicked him in the gut. Cartman was launched to the ground and when he looked up he saw Bart aiming his slingshot at his face.

Bart: Stay down Man!

Eric Cartman smirked before he pulled out his gun and replied

Cartman: Fuck You Bitch I will shoot you in the nyuts!

Bart jumped away from Cartman as he was getting shot at, The Simpson dove behind the car and grabbed a couple of Cherry Bombs. Cartman saw Bart's plan so he threw three sticks of dynamite at the Prankster, Bart saw the explosive and began running away leaving him open to be left open sprayed straight in the face by Cartman's bare mace making him shout in agony and vomit before he fell to his back.

Cartman: Take that bitch!

Suddenly Bart let go of his Astral Form, The Ghost Bart looked down at his hands before he charged at Cartman and grabbed him by his shoulders.


Bart grabbed the screaming Cartman and pulled him off the ground and then threw him at a wall cracking it as he landed on it, Cartman stood scratching his head in pain before he grabbed his gun and began walking around the street looking for the thing that threw him at the wall.

Suddenly Bart flung a kick at Cartman's stomach launching him at the wall again making it cave in on itself due to Cartman's weight, Bart grabbed Cartman and flung him towards his body. Within seconds Bart already was back in his body and he saw Cartman flying towards him, So Bart scrambled to his feet and began throwing a flurry of punches and kicks at Eric's stomach and face.

Bart then slammed Cartman's head against the ground before he football kicked him in the back launching him into the air, Bart then let go of his Astral Form and flew towards Cartman again. Bart attempted to do a kick to Cartman's face, The Cheesy Poof Loving South Park Resident looked up and fired his V-Chip at Bart.

This launched Bart's astral form many feet away before he slammed into a wall, Bart then weakly fell off the wall and started falling to the ground. Bart then flew towards his body and jumped back into it, Cartman ran towards and attempted to bash the knocked down Bart's head in. The Simpson jumped up from the ground and grabbed his skate board, Cartman didn't have time to react before he was ran over by Bart on his board.


Cartman: Fuck, Shit, Herpies, BARBRA STREISAND!

Eric shouted firing lightning straight into Bart's stomach launching him backwards, Thankfully Bart had blocked the barrage of lightning with his Skate Board.

This went on for minutes before Bart grabbed his Stop-Watch and stopped time with it, Bart walked towards Cartman and grabbed him by his back and walked towards where he was standing just seconds ago. He then dropped three Cherry Bombs on Cartman's feat before he ran away, Suddenly the lightning struck Cartman making him shout in agony before the Cherry Bombs exploded launching him at Bart.

Bart moved out of the way allowing Cartman to slam face-first into a brick wall making a smack sound effect before he fell on his back, Cartman scrambled to his feet and then got into his battle stance before he then shouted still glaring at Bart.

Cartman: This looks like a job for… THE COON.

Suddenly Cartman leaped off screen, and leaped right back on with his Coon outfit. Bart , seeing only one possible way to counter this, leaped off screen and came back on dressed as The Bartman.

Coon: Your days are over Bartman!

The Coon said in a raspy voice, Bartman scoffed before he then said.

Bartman: I could say the same thing to you!

The two got into a battle stance glaring at each other making the scene look like the poster of Batman v. Superman or Civil War, Suddenly the two charged towards each other preparing their own attack. Bartman attempted to punch but Coon ducked underneath and done a Coon Lunge making Bartman reel in pain, Coon attempted to slash upwards only for him to be kicked in the side by Bartman launching him.

Bartman then launched his Grappling Hook at Coon's stomach before he pulled him towards him, The Batman parody flung a kick to Coon's face launching him backwards. Bartman then done an upward kick launching Coon into the air, Bartman then used his Grappling Hook to pull Coon to the ground. Bartman reeled his fist backwards ready to strike Coon in the face only for...


Coon slashed Bartman in the face making him shout in pain before he fell to his knees clutching onto his bloodied face, Coon done a superhero landing and attempted to tackle Bartman to the ground. This went horribly since he crashed face first into a brick wall, Cartman fell onto the ground before he was grabbed by his leg and pulled backwads towards Bartman. Bartman attemted to stomp on Coon's head only for the Racoon themed Super-Hero to push himself off the ground and done an uppercut launching him upwards, Coon then slashed at Bartman's face making his head reel backwards only to be kicked in the chest launching him into a wall.


Within seconds Coon then began slashing at Bartman at speeds that no human could even see, Coon then done a brutal punch to Bartman's stomach so hard that the wall behind him broke into a million pieces making him skid across the ground. Coon then ran towards Bartman who was just standing up, Suddenly Coon threw a punch making Bartman reel backwards in pain.

Coon attempted to slash Bartman's stomach open only for The ten year old hero to throw a cherry bomb to the ground launching Coon away. Bartman then jumped forward and began throwing a flurry of punches at the flying Coon's stomach and face before he done a double handed axe punch launching Coon straight into the ground, Bartman attempted to land on Coon's back only for him to be punched in the chin by Coon launching him backwards.

Coon grabbed a hold of Bartman's foot and then began slamming him across the ground over and over again Hulk Style, Coon then finished this brutal combo with a drop kick launching Bart straight through a building causing a massive


To be heard, Bart then jumped out of the hole in the wall in his stretch dude costume. Bart charged at the Coon and wrapped himself around him like an Elastic Band, Suddenly a green light emitted from Bart's body only to be launched backwards and into the ground, Bart scrambled to his feet and looked up to see Eric as the Grand Wizard King ready to fight again.

Cartman: Your dead bitch!

Bart attempted to bash Cartman over the head with his right arm only for The Grand Wizard to grab him by his arm and pulled the prankster towards him, The Grand Wizard King threw a "Magic Missile" straight at Bart's face making him shout in disgust as he pulled it off.

Cartman then fired some lightning at Bart launching him backwards as the bolts crawled up Bart's body like a hundred tiny spiders, Cartman then finished this combo by bashing Bart over the head with a staff before he smacked him in the face like a Baseball Player launching Bart once again threw a wall this time making it crumble in on itself sending broken pieces of bricks to the ground.

Bart charged towards Cartman as he began using his lighter to create a flame in front of Hair Product launching a wall of fire at Bart, As Bart was getting engulfed by the flame he used his Cherry Bombs to cause an explosion that launched the two of them away and burn their costumes off. Simpson scrambled to his feet and decides to ride away with his skateboard, while Cartman made chase with his tricycle.

Bart looked behind him and saw Cartman riding towards him and picking up speed quite quickly, Bart then jumped onto a rail and began skidding on the rail while Cartman tried to blow his head off with his glock. This chase lasted for minutes, before Bart then jumped and landed skateboard first into Cartman's face knocking him off his trycycle.

Bart rided away as fast as he could, Cartman aimed his gun and fired straight at Simpson's wheel launching him into the air before slamming into the curb. Bart attempted to get up only for Cartman to charge towards him, Bart moved out of the way from Cartman's stomp making him slam his foot against the curb. Cartman shouted in agony before he was slammed in the face with an elbow, Cartman was suddenly launched backwards by a Cherry Bomb.

Simpson ran to his house and jumped over his fence, Cartman attempted the same thing only for the fence to be crushed due to his weight. Bart laughed as he climbed up his tree house and cut the ladder off, Cartman began getting angry as he ran towards the tree house looking for a way to get up. 

Cartman: Come down and fight me bitch!

Bart smirked before he then replied with.

Bart: Oh Okay sure thing!

Bart then grabbed his Sling Shot and began firing some rocks at Cartman who was trying to dodge them which was futile, Bart laughed at Cartman's pain and then fired three more cherry bombs at Cartman which felt like the millionth time.


This launched Cartman into the air leaving him open to be grabbed by Bart and pulled into the tree house, Bart threw Cartman into the ground and began beating on his face like a M.M.A Fighter with enough force to break someone's nose.


Bart stopped beating on the bloody Cartman as he thought that he had enough due to the fact that he was crying his lungs out, Cartman began whipping his bloody nose and his tears from his eyes before he smirked and stabbed Bart in the shoulder with his dagger. Bart shouted in agony and tried to push Cartman away who was doing the same, Bart pushed Cartman and attempted to fire his sling shot again only to see ten sticks of lighted dynamite right in front of him. Cartman smirked as he said.

Cartman: Bye Bye Mother Fucker!


Suddenly an explosion went off blowing the house to bits and making the tree fall straight into the Simpson's house, when suddenly it created an explosion that incinerated the entire estate.


In the rubble of the house we see something trying to get out.




A fat hand punched straight through the rubble, when suddenly Cartman crawled out of the pieces of wood and rock. Cartman began limping away from the scene ready to go to a hospital when suddenly he heard something behind, he looked backwards revealing Bart's astral form floating away from the rubble.

Bart's Ghost: Oh thanks a lot dude you killed me!

Cartman then coughed as he then put up his hand exposing some lightning from his V-Chip.


Suddenly Cartman fired a massive barrage of lightning at Bart's ghost launching him and pinning him against the ground, Bart flailed around in agony before finally his soul was turned to dust finally eradicating Bart from the face of reality.

Cartman: F...Fuck You... Bitch!

Eric said weakly as he began limping away again as the victor of this great battle!



B. Holy Shit! Who Knew those fuckers could fight!

W. This fight was quite close the both of them had great physicality and a lot of weapons but in the end Cartman had to be the winner of this battle.

'B. To start of Cartman was much stronger than Bart, I mean sure, Bart is way stronger than he looks, since he is able to beat Nelson Muttz casually who was able to lift to teenager with ease, which is strong and all but Cartman is much stronger since he can kick over a satellite with a casual kick which I don't think I need to tell you why Cartman is stronger.

W. And speed again goes to Cartman surprisingly even though he's a fat fuck, anyway, Bart is about as fast as a normal child his age while The South Park resident can move so fast he can dissappear and reappear.

B. Now Bart has the advantage in durability since he can take a fair beating and keep going while if Cartman went through the same thing he would cry in a corner!

W. Now when it comes to intelligence this wasn't even close Cartman is an evil genius while Bart is about as dumb as a fucking hamster, sure Bart has a great skill of learning stuff that still doesn't mean he is as smart as Cartman who discovered that if you shove food up your ass you shit out your mouth.

B. Wait What!

W. Yeah that's South Park alright but anyway again Cartman is much smarter than Bart full stop.

B. Now when it comes to weapons this was close but we might have to give this Cartman since their more destructive than Bart's, Sure Bart has the book of the dead which yes we forgot to use in the fight!, Sure it can create zombies which would give him a hand but their is a problem with that.

W. 1. Cartman has killed zombies before which means he could kill these zombies and 2. These Zombies actually turn on Bart which could kill him.

B. Now this is what nearly made us kill ourselves the powers, Bart has the huge advantage against Cartman since Cartman's farting powers are useful but Bart can shrink, fly, turn into a vampire and a FUCKING WAREWOLF!

W. Well sadly Cartman has a counter for most of these powers, The V-Chip, This weapon can single handedly destroy Bart's Astral Projection and of course the rest of his forms.

B. Well yeah and the shrinking and flying shtick is great and all but Cartman could just throw some dynamite into the air and the shrinking can't do shit!

W. Well even if the character you liked lost this fight it doesn't matter because these two have the greatest ability ever making you laugh, Both Eric and Bart are great characters even though their awful people, These two have been doing this as late as the 90's which is fucking insane.

B. Looks like we put this 3 Year Old fight to rest!

W. The Winner is Eric Cartman

Cartman wins


<poll> Who would you be rooting for? Eric Cartman Bart Simpson