| Edward Hogger vs Marion Barrena | |
|---|---|
| |
| Season , Episode | |
Vital statistics
| |
| Air date | November 1, 2024 |
| Written by | VladonskaMerwina |
| Directed by | |
Episode guide
| |
| Previous | Next |
Edward Hogger vs Marion Barrena is a What If? episode of Death Battle featuring Edward Hogger from History's Civil War: Secret Missions and Marion Barrena from Call of Duty 2: Spanish Civil War Mod.
Description[]
Wiz: Edward Hogger, the bushwhacking Union soldier from History's Civil War: Secret Missions.
Boomstick: Marion Barrena, the secret Republican agent from Call of Duty 2: Spanish Civil War Mod.
Wiz: No conflict in mankind's history has been more brutal and tragic as civil wars, with some still literally being fought to this day. It's literally brother against brother on who can decide the faith of a nation. And today, we'll be diving deep into two of history's most brutal civil wars: the American Civil War and the Spanish Civil War.
Boomstick: No quips from me this time too. Civil Wars are a serious topic. That being said, what better way to learn about history than playing video games! Yep! Two famous FPS protagonists who fought in history's deadliest civil wars will be facing each other today! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armors, and skills to find out who will win... a DEATH BATTLE!
Edward Hogger[]
Wiz: Nearly a century after the birth of the United States of America, tensions began to rise on the debate of whether the slavery of people of African descent, should continue to exist and expand. By the 1800s, this idea had begun to be challenged worldwide, including in the U.S.... eeeeexcept for those living in the South.
Boomstick: Ah, good ol' Dixie! The Southern and Southwestern part of the country, mostly agrarian communities whose plantation economy required forced labor, had slavery as integral in their culture. Such a culture bred a belief that some people were born to be inferior than others, and that their liberation may cause competition and conflict. Not so much in the more industrial and progressive Northern states, who mostly desired the abolition of slavery. A clash of cultures brewed between the anti-slavery Northern states and the pro-slavery Southern states, and soon, the United States of America was... not so united anymore.
Wiz: In 1860, the Southern states and a few Native American allies, now calling themselves the Confederate States of America, seceded and outright rebelled against the Union, which was composed of the US government and the Northern states. This conflict, which lasted 4 hellish years, killed up to 750,000 American soldiers. The war caused more American casualties than both World Wars combined; in a time when portable machine guns were not yet invented! And during this war, came a man simply known as Edward Hogger, a silent Union soldier and the scourge of the Confederacy.
Boomstick: Edward Hogger, also known as Eric, was a simple bookworm from Missouri who spent his life reading and writing books. When war broke out, he saw first-hand how it ravaged his state. Being a true badass, he decided to help out his country by killing Confederates by his lonesome. As a member of the militia (and terrorist group) known as the Jayhawkers, Hogger hunted down these rebels. One time, he successfully tricked and lured two of them inside a house, before promptly introducing them to Mr. Buckshot. He got so good, in fact, that a Union officer named Captain Richard R. Blazer, recruited him into his special unit known as Blazer's Scouts.
Wiz: Did that officer just name a unit... after himself?
Boomstick: Damn right! True chad! Anyways, Hogger became a well-known marksman in one of America's pioneering special forces unit. His exploits spread to the point that frigging General William Tecumseh Sherman, personally chose him to participate in what became known as the Battle of Jackson. In this mission, he and two others infiltrated Jackson, Mississippi, and destroyed all Confederate artillery pieces in the area — all the while killing whole platoons of Confederate soldiers! This guy wasn't just a killer, he's a bloody killing machine!
Wiz: The Blazer's Scouts would participate in more top secret missions. During the Battle of Lewisburg, they tracked down and killed a Confederate spy. They also contributed to the Fall of Vicksburg, once again destroying artillery and snipers. Keep in mind that the Blazer's Scouts were outnumbered in every one of these dangerous missions. And they won. All of them.
Boomstick: This was in no part thanks to Edward Hogger. His most prominent weapon was a muzzle-loading double-barrel shotgun that he used during his time as a Jayhawker and a Blazer Scout. Even if this guy carried unreliable and utterly dangerous old-ass guns like Colt revolvers, Colt rifles, and Excelsior grenades (old-timey explosives that detonate on impact), he still managed to annihilate his foes. He also knew how to use advanced firearms like a Henry rifle and Sharps rifle, and could also use Gatling guns, cannons, and powder kegs. The guy was scrappy too, capable of using pistol whips, butt strokes, and bayonets to take down enemies up close.
Wiz: Being a member of an elite unit, Hogger undoubtedly had better training than your average infantry mook. According to history, as a Blazer's Scout, Hogger would have been skilled in anti-guerrilla warfare, counterinsurgency, dragoon style sudden attacks, hit-and-run, scouting and gathering intelligence in enemy areas, and tracking down targets. The Blazer's Scouts were also armed with other advanced firearms like Remington revolvers and Spencer carbines.
Boomstick: But even I will admit, guns can only bring a soldier so far. And butt strokes are a very weird way to call "bashing someone's head in with a rifle stock". Seriously, Wiz, have some decency. However, every one of this blue-belly yankee's achievement wasn't just because of weapons, but also through a sheer set of skills and a great talent for war. Hogger was not only a soldier, he was a member of an elite unit, a cunning tactician, a stealthy marksman, and a badass action shooter hero who left hundreds dead in his wake.
"Edward Hogger, is it? I've heard good things about you." - General William Tecumseh Sherman
Marion Barrena[]
Wiz: The early 20th century was a tumultuous time for Spain. Different ideologies on how the country should be ran started to spring out. Some wanted a more progressive government for the people, others a return to monarchy, a few wanted to bring back the glory days of a strong Spanish empire, while others didn't even want that much of a government to begin with. For decades, the Spanish people had seen feuds and coups mar the country. By the 1930s a new more liberal Republican government attempted to hold the nation together. But again, no one was ever satisfied.
Boomstick: The conservatives and traditionalists wanted to oust the current government and establish a new one, leading to much persecution and imprisonment. Soon, tensions reached a boiling point. Said conservatives successfully persuaded the Spanish military to side with them, creating a group known as the Nationalists. Now, decades upon decades of political feuds, class struggle, and religious debates, finally culminated into a bloody civil war. A war that eventually caught the attention (and support) of other nations.
Wiz: Man... Europe really can't take a break.
Boomstick: It gets worse a few years later, remember?
Wiz: Oh... yeah.
Boomstick: During Spain's darkest period — a war which was called the "dress rehearsal of WWII" because foreign countries and volunteers wanted so much to intervene — was where our heroine first appeared. Or more of an angel of death, depending on who you'll ask. Marion Barrena.
Wiz: Little was known about this deadly Spanish chick besides having a rich dad who maltreated his Moroccan servants. Although before the war, she could have been just a simple Socialist or Communist activist or militant, recruited by the Republican government to fight for their stead; because, you know, they didn't have an army anymore and had to rely on radicals, militias, and terrorists who hated those fascist Nationalists. Whatever her past may be, her achievements were for the records. Donning a white long sleeve, a blue vest, and a funny hat, Barrena sided with the Republicans and fought the Nationalists from Alcazar to Madrid.
Boomstick: And she was a monster all the way. Before the time when women were allowed to join any modern military, Barrena kicked ass and looked good while doing it. She carried an assortment of advanced early 20th century European weapons, many of which got their reputations from the trenches of World War I. For sidearms, she carried a Nagant revolver, a gas-sealed revolver that had more power and could be suppressed unlike other revolvers. For long range, she used a bolt-action Mauser VZ-24 or Mosin-Nagant rifle. And as a testament to the technological advancements of her time, she also used a 30-round submachine gun known as the Star Si-35. She could also use an assortment of explosives and grenades, binoculars, several heavy machine guns, and knew close-quarters combat.
Wiz: She was a reconnaissance spy, a counter sniper, and a one-woman wrecking machine. In the eve of the uprising, she managed to gather intel about their enemies, through a network of scouts and spies. During the Siege of Alcazar, she successfully escorted a sapper to destroy one of the fortress's towers. During the Battle of Jarama, in a mission nicknamed "Suicide Hill", Marion and seven others held a hill and killed a ridiculous amount of Nationalists storming in. In her crowning moment of achievement, Marion snuck into a Nazi mansion and stole documents detailing their plans for world domination, eventually changing history.
Boomstick: Changed... history? Like alternate history?
Wiz: Yes. Although an alternate ending had her getting killed in cold blood by the Moroccan protagonist, Shabah, another ending had her warning the world of impending Nazi invasion. In real life, the Nationalists won the war, leading to nearly half-a-century of Franco-Fascist rule. However, in this mod, people could finally see what could and would have happened if the Republicans won. And Marion Barrena was one of the causes of their victories. She even got to capture her worst enemy: Francisco Franco!
Boomstick: Marion may have been just a character inspired by hundreds of female fighters who actually fought in the Spanish Civil War, but nonetheless, she was a formidable fighter, and a shining defender against fascism.
"[Do] not give up now! Never!" - Marion Barrena
Battle[]
Wiz: All right the combatants are set. We've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
The sun stood still, blazing a silent town stinking of Death's harvest. God was the only witness to the malevolence that happened there — a battle of men who never knew, or would ever know, each other. It was a tale as old as time. Seldom surprising, always heartbreaking.
A young girl curled herself in a corner of a desecrated church. All around her were the remains of her fallen Republican comrades. Their bodies lined up, nicely tarped and peaceful. It was respectful of her to place them neatly like that. Truth be told, she'd never been in a skirmish like this. One that was as brutal as a pitch fight; so bloody and difficult that it seemed like they were fighting against the God of War himself. However, she had to fight, never been one to back down from one. She was Marion Barrena, after all. The Hero of Spain. The smartest of them all, and the one who knew better most best.
Outside the church, a young man hid himself prone in the vegetation. He hoped his blue uniform was invisible in this bright hot afternoon. The heat never bothered him. The bugs nor the lashing dirt gave no annoyance. His fellow men of blue weren't that bothered either; they were already dead to ever care. Their corpses, drier than summer, were strewn all around the building. The young man, an American soldier named Edward Hogger, never saw it coming. They were supposed to raid the town where this church was located, but the place had already been deserted.
Little did they know of the major blunder that was about to unfold. A careless failure worthy of General McClellan.
A gunfight broke out as they got nearer to the church. Men yelling and cursing in Spanish shot at them from the inside. Many of his friends were killed from rapid fires that they'd never seen before. Faster than the fastest gatling he had ever faced — technologies as strange as Satan's own mechanisms for torture. However, Hogger managed to avenge them by hiding in the bushes, and sniping their attackers one-by-one. A woman in a white shirt led this ambush. Hogger only caught a few glimpses of her through the stained glass windows. But she was stern, cunning, and Hogger wouldn't be surprised if she was the one who deduced they'd be invading them today. Only that woman survived the onslaught, barricading herself inside the church.
Any of her remaining dying comrades must be dead by now. That woman was next.
Barrena heard a rustling of vegetation surrounding the right side of the church. She knew very well of the person creeping through; it was also in that area where most of her comrades received their deaths. Carefully, she took a peek from a window using her binoculars, and saw a blue cloth slithering through the greenery. She slowly lit up a molotov cocktail and tossed it at the bushes. A wildfire erupted, swallowing the whole vegetation, made even more potent by the dry weather — burning, roasting, and killing every living thing in the vicinity. No one could have escaped that. However, nothing could ever be expected. After all, hope was a virtue that was borne from implausibility.
A small metallic cylinder smashed its way through a window, and rolled to the middle of the church. It was a strange object, but Barrena wasn't a naive amateur to not know what it was, judging by the mere fact that it was thrown. She quickly dived behind a thick podium as the grenade exploded. The blast destroyed nearly everything inside, sending debris flying everywhere, and mangling the corpses of Barrena's fallen friends. This pissed the woman to the hundredth. These brave men did not deserve such treatment. And so, she quickly got up and charged the window.
Yelling, "Bastardo!", Barrena began spraying hot lead from her submachine gun at whatever was outside. That scumbag had to pay. He was going to die. She went all berserk; rules of war be damned.
That foolish girl. Hogger could only smile at her patheticness. He had lost his coat during the fire, and though sooty, was fine nonetheless. He had circled around the church, and found the now shattered door. Getting inside, he saw the mad woman shooting widly at what was supposed to be him. Carefully, he loaded up his double-barrel shotgun and fired.
Barrena could feel the round slam into her left thigh, and the searing sensation that came afterwards. She dropped to the ground and quickly drew her semi-automatic pistol. Empyting her magazine, her surprised assailant was forced to take cover behind a pillar. With the enemy pinned, Barrena quickly limped to a staircase leading to the church's bell tower. She had also taken a bolt-action rifle with a bayonet attached to it. Bleeding and in pain, Barrena held her wound with her hand. The more this battle dragged on, the more seconds of her life she lost. But Barrena had to hold on.
If this was it, then this was going to be her last stand. Hell or high water. Death to all fascists.
Upon hearing the silence of the gun, Hogger got out and quickly rushed to where that woman ran into. As he reached the staircase, rifle fire from a balcony rained down on him. He desperately attempted to shoot back with his lever-action rifle. But Barrena's bullets were something else — no smoke yet powerful enough to punch through the floor. His old rifle was severely outmatched, both in range and firepower; made worse by his foe being on high ground. He tried to retreat, but unfortunately, a round struck his leg, making him fall and roll painfully on the steps.
Barrena gave another yell and rushed towards her adversary. Before Hogger could recover, a bayonet stabbed him through the shoulder. Enraged, Hogger used his rifle's stock to push away and pummel at Barrena. A hit to the temple rang the daisies out of the girl. But she stood firm and continued jabbing at Hogger with her blade. Hogger dodged, side-stepped, and after a parry of his gun, countered with a hit to the jaw that knocked down the Spanish fighter. With a final opportunity, Hogger quickly drew his colt revolver and fired three shots. All bullets hit her chest, hit their marks, finally killing Barrena.
The American discarded his revolver and sat down to catch his breath. "Such a shame," he whispered to himself. A shame that this Spanish beauty had to die like this. But war never knew any beauty. It only knew destruction. Everything magnificent became its victim; nothing in creation was ever safe. Hogger did admit that she was quite the warrior. Maybe she could continue her career in Valhalla, or whatever else heaven or hell was there for killers like them. Either way, the battle was over. Hogger walked out of the church, still silent, but victorious.
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: Magic and swords are awesome. But still, nothing beats an old-fashioned gunfight.
Wiz: That's right. And deciding on this one proved to be challenging even if it looked clear-cut.
Boomstick: Yeah, about that. Seriously, Wiz, do tell. How did Hogger win even if he was at a technological disadvantage of... well... more than 70 years!
Wiz: Don't get me wrong. It really did look like Barrena had this match hands down. Her submachine gun alone would have been alien to someone like Hogger. Not to mention her superior rifle, explosives, pistols, and bottleneck rounds that use smokeless gunpowder. However, you and I both know that weapons aren't always the deciding factor. Especially against someone as skilled as Edward Hogger.
Boomstick: While Barrena could equalize against Hogger in terms of stealth, espionage, and marksmanship, she was at most, a militia woman. As a member of an elite unit, Hogger had superior training and knew more skills like asymmetrical warfare, counter-insurgency, tracking, hit-and-run tactics, and many more.
Wiz: Besides skills, Hogger has also shown to be far more intelligent. I mean, the dude began a military career by tracking down, deceiving, and assassinating rebels... single-handedly! Overall, even if Barrena had the technological advantage, that's just one advantage. On the other hand, Hogger had two advantages: his superior skills and his cunning.
Boomstick: And it's not like Hogger's guns aren't that deadly. A bullet from a Henry rifle can still kill a human as any bolt-action rifle. So even if Barrena has the better weapons, Hogger can just stealth his way or trick his way to kill the Spanish Maiden.
Wiz: Exactly.
Boomstick: So in the end, Marion was left barren of a win, because Hogger likes to hog them all.
Wiz: The winner is Edward Hogger.
