Eddy vs Jimmy Hopkins is a What-If Death Battle by BloodStalker500
Eddy vs Jimmy Hopkins
Not-so-average teen boys with family issues duke it out! Will Jimmy show Eddy the Bullworth Way? Or will Eddy scam Jimmy out of his victory?
Boys will be boys, am I right? Running around, beating other kids up and trying to score chicks while trying to look cool at the same time! And no one emphasizes this lifestyle more than these two boys!
- Eddy, supreme scammer and leader of the Eds.
- Jimmy Hopkins, delinquent troublemaker of Bullworth Academy.
I'm BloodStalker500, and I'll compare and analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find who would win a Death Battle!
In a suburban town known as Peach Creek, a Cul-De-Sac peacefully sat without unrest, days slipping by for the residents without disruption. However, all of that came to an end when three very different kids met up, as if by fate. The only really similar things they had going for each other - aside from their mutual and somewhat unnatural obsession for jawbreakers (the candy, not the show)- were their names. Ed, Edd... and Eddy.
Living under an abusive older brother, Eddy soon became obsessed with the (not really) mystical and absolutely delicious candy called jawbreakers at a young age. Sold commonly around the candy store in the neighborhood, Eddy wanted nothing more than to get some for their pure deliciousness and savor-able traits. Problem is, he's always dirt broke and couldn't afford even a single jawbreaker for $0.25! His solution? Become a con artist and scam the other neighborhood kids of their own cash! And, after meeting his best friends Ed and Edd "Double D", he quickly set about this task of coming up with clever scams to get cash. However, as you've probably guessed, his peers weren't exactly pleased at the prospect of losing money, so Eddy has to be prepared for anything! Luckily for him and his two buds, he has quite the arsenal of items built by him and Double D!
He has the Hypno-Wheel, a device that can hypnotize and mind control the target into obeying the user's every command, a jet-pack that grants him the ability to fly and great maneuverability, a Baking Powder smoke bomb disguised as a jawbreaker that provides excellent cover and allows him to escape from harm if he's overwhelmed, a fish to beat people to death with, a pair of nun-chucks made from fuzzy dice that are surprisingly dangerous, a yo-yo that is used in a similar manner, chewing gum that can stun opponents for a brief time, a baseball bat to viciously whack foes around with, body armor made of literal junk, Canadian Squirt Guns that are dead accurate, and a device called The El Mongo Stink Bomb that not only obscures a foe's view, but stinks up the place so bad that kids like Rolf that regularly smell filthy scents are sent running! It has two forms: A smaller grenade-like version that Eddy carries shittons of, and a giant nuke-like version that blows up with such force that it actually causes a shock wave that spreads around an area as big as the entire Cul-De-Sac! He also carries around actual Vaporizing Turbo Grenades that can blow up robots with ease! And one time, he even built an alien vacuum that is strong enough to suck up and capture his friend, Ed! That, and since he hates being short, he has two Elevation Boots that increase his height and leg stride to a ridiculous degree! Plus, Eddy can also freakin' fly by pulling his wallet cord in his pocket and causes his three hairs to spin like a helicopter. Yes, you heard me right! Eddy flies by pulling his wallet cord which somehow causes his only three hairs to spin like rotor blades! And that's not the end of it! He has an alter ego named Professor Scam that, once he turns into it, can fire dollar sign energy blasts from his forehead so powerful that he forced Captain Melonhead to his knees! That, and he's also skilled in karate and wrestling, though more so in karate. Lastly, he has tons of knowledge of pranks and trickery, being able to call out how some pranks are old or not and even seeing some pranks coming before they were able to hit him.
Despite being a supposedly ordinary kid, Eddy has accomplished some ridiculous things! He is an experienced trickster and has fooled all the other kids in the Cul-De-Sac at least once, even Kevin and his ridiculously smart friend Double D on more than one occasion! His hypnotizing wheel can mind control almost anyone (except Jonny for some unknown reason), the jawbreaker smoke bomb explodes with enough force to almost level a house, and Eddy himself once actually survived an entire house falling on top of him. Twice! He's strong enough to lift his rival Kevin clean off the ground and body slam him onto the ground, survived getting shot out of an arrow by his friend Ed, who is strong enough to lift said house without issues, is fast enough to effortlessly keep up with Kevin on his bike - and Kevin is fast enough to leave 32 foot long skid marks behind in a sudden stop- and once defeated Kevin in combat while he was on his bike. He's smart enough to build his own weapon (the alien vacuum) and come up with ingenious scams on the fly, like "Ed Mart". He's skilled enough to casually fight wild crocodiles in the sewer, can KO said crocodiles in a few hits, and briliant enough to come up with escape strategies that even his brainiac friend Double D couldn't see coming. He survived a beating from Rolf, who can uproot a tree and lift it up with his bare hands, and survived a fall into a deep pit immediately afterwards! His aim and accuracy are so on point that he can shoot his Canadian Squirt Gun to ricochet off a birdhouse, then a bucket lying on its side, and through three people's ears and still hit it's intended target in a single shot! The Elevation Boots can kick hard enough to send his friends crashing through a fence wall, and he once effortlessly tanked getting sent flying and crashing through a stone-hard dinosaur leg! He survived getting headbutted by Victor so hard he was sent flying at least 80 feet away, and his Professor Scam dollar sign blasts are strong enough to hurt Captain Melonhead, who can survive a beating from Rolf and Sarah-who can easily lift a car- and the other kids! However, his most impressive strength feat has gotta be being strong enough to effortlessly juggle a 250 pound refrigerator plus his friend Double D plus a 70 pound canoe plus a small TV! That means Eddy was effortlessly catching and throwing into the air at least 320 pounds! That, and he once survived Ed's toy chewing through his entire stomach and upper chest! It literally left a hole in Eddy's body that he could - and did - actually fit his arm through and not feel anything but air!However, his most impressive feat has got to be when he FELL FROM OUTER SPACE, could still breathe up there, and landed without a scratch!
However, despite being a legitimate genius and having a wide arsenal, he has plenty of faults for everything he's accomplished. He's incredibly short and will fly into a rage if someone calls him out on it, though he seems to get stronger due to it, he sometimes jumps to conclusions when trying to solve stuff, and has a ridiculously low amount of patience! Eddy is so impatient that he literally can't even wait for a solid minute for a burrito to be microwaved! On top of all of this, he's very arrogant, believing that he could win at almost everything and calling himself the best at whatever his peers are doing. He once actually tried to become King of the Cul-De-Sac!
Despite all of this, however, Eddy is still an experienced scammer and trickster that shouldn't be trifled with, and if you're not careful, you may find your wallet completely empty! After all, there's a reason that he's called the man with a plan!
Eddy:"If you can't beat 'em... Show Off!"
In a city known as Bullworth, there lies a school called Bullworth Academy that is filled with the most fightingest and rowdiest kids in the country. Fights are common, some of the staff are corrupt, the students possessing almost no morals, and the cliques and groups constantly battling it out for supremacy. Jocks vs Nerds, Greasers vs Preppies, Bullies attacking little kids, there seemed to be no sign of change for the school-turned-battleground. However, all of that changed when a young teenage boy, fed up with his latest stepfather, walked through the gates with clenched fists. That boy was none other than James "Jimmy" Hopkins.
Living under an abusive mother and having gone through at least 10 stepfathers, Jimmy has had his fair share of tough times. Having been expelled from at least 8 other schools before coming to Bullworth, James wasted no time getting into his first clash with the native bullies, and coming out on top. Problem was, however, that he probably wouldn't make it through without a bit of help. Befriending the resident loser Petey and joining forces with the sociopathic Gary to take over the restless school, Jimmy went to work fighting his way to the top of the pecking order. However, he couldn't have done it without a couple tools.
Jimmy always prefers to fight with his fists, but has a trusty baseball bat for beating the shit out of any unlucky foes. He also carries around egg shells that do a surprising amount of damage plus stun foes, and a bag of marbles for making enemies slip up and leaving them open. His slingshot has deadly accuracy and is capable of ridiculously long shots! He also possesses a freaking potato spud cannon that rapidly fired solid potatoes at a target! Freaking potatoes! Jimmy also has a sweet moped that he can use to ram people with, punch people from, and make a quick getaway! He can do the same with his Go-Kart, except he can't punch from it, and is much faster on it. He also possesses a limited amount of stink bombs that briefly stun foes, and can use a panel made of solid steel as a shield! He carries a giant pipe do deliver great amounts of damage, and can toss rocks and bricks with incredible accuracy! Jimmy also carries itching powder that renders enemies unable to fight for a time. If he needs to bring out the big guns, Jimmy also carries around a bottle rocket launcher that fires powerful bottle rockets at foes, though its accuracy and range are seriously lacking. And, being the little delinquent he is, he even carries around firecrackers! Yes, I'm talking about actual, 100% real, firecrackers that blow up with enough force to one-hit KO most clique members, even greasers and townies! He's also pretty handy with an exploding football. Yes, he is in possession of footballs that blow up when caught. As for his physical capabilities, Jimmy has received training from a military...hobo...veteran... dude, and thus has plenty of skill going CQC! He has numerous techniques to send people sprawling, and has experience and training in boxing.
Of course, Jimmy couldn't have made it all the way through without some killer feats! He's fast enough to react to snowballs and bricks headed his way, and can fight skilled preppies in melee battle! He's tough enough to withstand hits from Norton, who effortlessly smashes through weakened stone walls! He can keep up with trained police officers when racing/fighting bike-to-bike, and his vehicles can outrace actual police cars! If his bike can do it, then his faster vehicles certainly can! Jimmy is also strong enough to lift 500 pound basketball hoops with relative ease, and regularly defeats entire groups of jocks in combat! He can survive falls from multi-story buildings with hardly any injury, and can survive blasts from the spud cannon and his own firecrackers! FYI, a spud cannon is basically a big gun that fires potatoes at Gatling gun speeds! This proves how tough Jimmy truly is, both in mind and soul! Oh, and did we mention that he can fight trained cops and asylum guards in melee battle? Not to mention that he can walk near open flames with no protection whatsoever! But, his most impressive feat is probably when he went toe to giant toe with the bully leader, Russel! For clarification, Russel is strong enough to ram a solidly locked iron gate open! That probably requires at least 2 tons of force! And Jimmy was seen defeating Russel with almost no visible injuries! Damn, dude is both skilled and tough!
However, James is very far from perfect. Most of his weapons have a limited amount of ammo/supply like his bottle rocket launcher, which only holds three rockets at once and Jimmy can only have 12 on him at any time, and he's somewhat arrogant and brash. He often dives straight into a fight without thinking, and always thinks he'll come out on top. He actually does come out on top, but this only helps add to his inflated ego. He is more vulnerable to people faster than him, and is less suited and also somewhat vulnerable to those with long-range capabilities. But above all, he's kinda stupid. He was tricked by Gary into helping him conquer the school, and he rarely comes up with original ideas or combat strategies on his own. He has an issue of jumping to conclusions - he thought his science teacher had asked him to kill Derby, when he actually asked him to kill Derby's plant- and most of the things he did throughout his adventure - beating the preps by boxing, ruining the jock's game, breaking into the nerds' observatory, etc - were almost always ideas or plans thought up by Gary, Petey, or someone else other than Jimmy. Suffice to say, ol' James ain't too bright. Don't get me wrong, he clearly has common sense and some street smarts, but his habit of constantly getting tricked by others or using other people's ideas clearly proves that intelligence isn't his strong suit.
Even so, no sane teen or adult would dare try to get on Jimmy's bad side, especially if they pick on others. After all, especially in the eyes of James Hopkins, bullying ain't gonna fly.
Jimmy:"We shall see, my friend. I only give people what they have coming to them."
It was a sunny day outside, and kids and teens of all ages were playing outside. Little tykes and elementary schoolers played with their toys and imaginary friends, and middle schoolers were going to game stores and buying games. The High Schoolers though... were in the middle of some conflict. In a lane surrounded by fencing, a group of high school teens were standing by a tree and glaring upwards, having made the mistake of not only betting all of their cash and losing it, but also the error of trying to get it back when they lost it to the teen they bet it to. As for said teen...
???:"AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! You losers really thought you could get your cash back! SUCKERS!!!"
The kid stepped out of the dense foliage in the tree and onto a high branch, with a jar in one of his arms. Three hairs lining his head, and a red stripe on his shirt, the cocky teen revealed himself as Eddy.
Teens:"Hey! You conned us! We want our money back!"
Only grinning, Eddy just answered without any concern or regret.
Eddy:"Sorry, suckers! Ya snooze, ya lose!"
He then turned and jumped over the fence from his branch, took of running, and out of reach from his "customers". Grinning maniacally, he stopped running to peek at his treasure.
Eddy:"Oh, man, the amount of jawbreakers I could buy with this...!"
He made it to a suburban street and, looking about, turned to head for the Candy Store. Walking along the sidewalk, he only made it about 10 feet before....
Suddenly, Eddy felt the jar knocked lose onto the ground several feet away, breaking and spilling the contents all of the ground. Looking back, he barely registered an object swing at him before ducking and jumping back.
Eddy:"WHAT THE-!? WHAT HAPPENED!?!?"
Looking up, he saw the kid who nearly hit him. Wielding a baseball bat, and wearing an aquaberry vest, and a smirk plastering his features, was the one and only Jimmy Hopkins.
Jimmy:"Ya know, it ain't nice to steal people's money. Maybe you should just give it back. Like, right now."
Growling angrily, Eddy glared back and pointed a finger at him.
(*Cue: Mortified - Max Anarchy)
Eddy:"OH, YOU'RE ON, BUDDY! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH MY MONEY, LOSER!!"
Reaching back and pulling out his own bat, Eddy pointed his bat at Jimmy. Frowning angrily at Eddy's comment, Jimmy also pointed his bat at Eddy.
Jimmy:"Oh, you're gonna get it..."
The teens glared each other down, both prepared to duke it out.
Just another school day, right?
They immediately dashed towards each other, bats clashing as they glared through hatred filled eyes. Eddy began pushing forward, with Jimmy digging his heels into the ground. Noticing this, Jimmy quickly used a leg sweep move and knocked Eddy to the ground.
Right after he fell, James landed a kick to Eddy's manhood.
Clutching his balls, Eddy saw Jimmy smirking down at him. Infuriated, Eddy grabbed his legs, flung him upwards, and slammed him onto the ground.
Getting up, Eddy quickly got out some chewing gum and chewed madly. Jimmy also got up and got out his eggshell carton. Simultaneously, Eddy spat his gum out at a rapid speed, while Jimmy checked his eggs. Both found their mark.
Both were stunned and unable to move, as Eddy was struck by Jimmy's egg and Jimmy by Eddy's gum. Both began trying to get the substances off, but Eddy wiped away the eggshells first. Grinning, Eddy brought out his fuzzy dice nun chucks and twirled them around skillfully.
Eddy:"AHA! Let's see you keep it up now!"
He charged forward and started pummeling Jimmy, striking his face dozens of times, each hit surprisingly painful. Finally free of the gum's effects, Jimmy began blocking most of the hits, as well as parrying those about to strike him. Getting a bit sick of it, Eddy suddenly launched a kick straight at Jimmy's gut. Jimmy was sent sprawling, but got up and ducked out of the way of the last strike and pulled out his pipe.
The two teens started going at it, matched blow for blow. Eventually, however, Eddy's quicker attacks started to leave their mark on Jimmy, while Eddy didn't seem to bothered whenever Jimmy landed a hit. Suddenly, Eddy and Jimmy knocked each other's weapons out of the other's hands. Taking advantage, Jimmy started running off into a nearby alley.
Eddy:"Hey! Get back here!"
Eddy quickly chased him into it. Once he reached it, however, he got a nasty surprise...
He barely had enough time to jump outta the way as Jimmy raced by on his moped. Unfortunately, as he jumped to the side, Jimmy managed to land a clean punch as he raced by out of the alley, and send Eddy sprawling.
Jimmy:"HA! Sorry, chump!"
Eddy:"AAH! WHY, YOU LITTLE-!"
Jimmy started driving away, and turned around to ram Eddy. As Eddy was trapped in the alley, he couldn't run or dodge. Jimmy smirked, knowing he'd ram him into the wall.... then Eddy smirked and pulled his wallet cord.
Jimmy:"WHAT THE HELL!?"
To his astonishment, Eddy's hairs began spinning like helicopter blades and lifted him into the sky, away from Jimmy. Unfortunately for Jimmy, he realized too late that he was about to crash.
The moped was still operational, but badly damaged. Groaning, Jimmy got out of the moped, briefly forgetting his foe.
Suddenly, Jimmy felt two oversized boots slam into his back and crushing him. Turning back his head back, he saw Eddy standing tall. Literally. To his absolute shock, Eddy was standing on a pair of ridiculously tall boots and fake legs (Elevation Boots) and towering to the sky! Chuckling madly, Eddy shrunk his boots down so he was about 12 feet tall.
Eddy:"Sorry, buddy! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
He lifted his Elevation Boot upwards and launched a super-powered kick at Jimmy, sending him soaring at least 20 feet away and back out of the alley. Heavily bruised, Jimmy got up to see Eddy waltzing out of the alley, though he was moving incredibly quickly due to his giant leg strides. Jimmy ducked and rolled out of the way of Eddy's Elevation Boots' kicks, until one finally hit him at sent him crashing into a store. Eddy chuckled, knowing his moves were too good.
Eddy:"HAH! Maybe That'll teach ya to mess with-!"
Suddenly, Jimmy tore out of the hole in the wall riding his Go-Kart, visibly bruised and scratched up but otherwise fine. Eddy had no time to react as Jimmy charged through his elevation boots and broke them. Eddy stood in the air before he realized what happened. Gravity took hold and promptly pulled him to the ground.
Eddy:"WHAT THE-!? AAAHHH--OOF!!"
Eddy stiffly got up, seemingly unfazed by his fall. He was then made re-aware of his foe when he heard laughing down the street. Gritting his teeth, he began chasing after Jimmy. As for Jimmy himself, he was laughing his butt of, thinking he had won. He didn't get very far before he heard his foe laughing... from above him?
(*Cue: Enter Bowser Jr.! - Super Mario Galaxy)
Jimmy looked up to find Eddy flying yet again, this time with a jet pack! He was easily keeping up with Jimmy's Go-Kart, and was holding a bag of mysterious green liquid.
Suddenly, Eddy started raining the bags down onto the streets .One landed in front of Jimmy and exploded as he drove over it, sending a large plume of dark green gas into Jimmy's eyes. Right after he registered the sight of it, Jimmy quickly registered the scent.
It took all of his determination not to puke as he realized Eddy was still throwing more El Mongo Stink Bombs down onto the street. Taking out his spud gun, he quickly fired at Eddy, though a mixture of him still trying to drive around the stink bombs littering the ground, the bombs still falling around him and mainly Eddy's super maneuverability due to the jet pack meant that every shot missed.
Jimmy:"URGH! HOLD STILL, LOSER!"
Eddy:"HA! MISSED ME! MISSED AGAIN! STILL CAN'T HIT ME! HAHAHA!!"
Growing frustrated, he took aim yet again. Trying not to notice the hail of stench, he took careful aim, determined to knock Eddy from the sky. Unfortunately, he didn't notice another stink bomb land in his Kart.
Jimmy:"That's it! You're going down, ya jer-!"
His field of vision blocked by the dark green cloud plus the horrible stench made steering the Kart impossible. The dark cloud cleared up right as a truck came into view, horns blaring. Realizing what was about to happen, he quickly jumped from his Kart and rolled on the sidewalk.
He barely caught a glimpse of his Kart colliding with the truck and seeing it get totaled. Watching his Kart get wrecked, he almost forgot about his foe still flying in the air.
He turned back just in time to see Eddy start shooting his Canadian Squirt Guns at him, which surprisingly hurt! Trying to dodge the water blasts, Jimmy took out his bottle rocket launcher and tried shooting Eddy with it. Surprised, Eddy barely dodged the first three, though he lost his Squirt Guns in his haste. Angry, Eddy grit his teeth, then smiled as he formed a plan. On the ground, Jimmy finished reloading to see Eddy plow into him via his jet pack, punching him and grabbing him by his collar simultaneously.
(*Cue: Little Big Boys - One Minute Melee OST)
Jimmy then registered his feet coming off the ground, and looked down. To his surprise, the ground seemed to move rapidly away from him. No... he quickly realized Eddy was pulling him into the sky! Before he could react, Eddy let go and kicked him away to watch him fall to the ground.
Not going to accept this lying down, he brought out his bottle rocket launcher again to try to shoot Eddy and bring him down with him! Noticing this, Eddy began bobbing and weaving throughout the sky, dodging the next three shots. Smirking, Eddy knew that he had the edge and got an idea for his next move as he dodged the 6th rocket like a pro.
Eddy:"Nope! Can't touch this! Too slick!"
Taking time to reload, Jimmy noticed Eddy had begun to zip down to meet Jimmy and attack him first. Desperate, Jimmy began firing the launcher again, forcing Eddy to stop mid-fall and zip around the 7th, 8th and 9th bottle rockets.
Eddy:"GRRR!! WATCH IT!"
Reloading again, Jimmy had no time to fire back as Eddy managed to reach him and began blitzing him. Eddy flew under him and punched him, sending him upwards, and swiftly flying up to kick him to the ground. Reacting quickly, Jimmy blocked the kick and received no damage, though the force sent him flying down again. Not giving up, Jimmy took aim as he fired his 10th bottle rocket. Eddy quickly noticed and aileron rolled out of the way. Deciding to end it, Eddy started zipping down again to once again attack Jimmy with his aerial advantage. Jimmy fired again, almost hitting Eddy as he was zipping down to meet him.
Noticing how he almost got hit, Eddy forgot that he was still zipping downwards. Taking careful aim this time, Jimmy fired his twelfth rocket right as Eddy was nearly right in his face. Remembering his situation, Eddy tried to dodge but only managed to avoid a direct strike by turning so that his back was facing Jimmy. The Good news? Eddy took no damage from the rocket. The bad news? His jet pack took the hit for him. Realizing his mistake, Eddy started screaming as he began falling alongside Jimmy.
Seeing his chance, Jimmy grabbed Eddy and punched him so hard that he launched Eddy incredibly quickly towards the ground, sending up a dust cloud. Smirking, Jimmy reveled in his victory before he realized that he was still falling too.
CRASH! (if the music hasn't ended yet, it has now)
Jimmy landed flat on his back, and reeled in pain. Getting up slowly, he realized how beat up he had gotten over the course of the battle. He though he had won until he heard that aggravating voice again.
Eddy:"HEY, YOU JERK! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO MAKE THAT ROCKET!?!?!?!?"
Stunned, Jimmy turned to find Eddy standing up from his landing spot perfectly fine! His clothes were scratched, yes, but his actual skin wasn't bruised up or anything. Realizing it was time to finish it, Jimmy took out his bottle rocket launcher and aimed it at Eddy. Noticing his situation, Eddy's anger instantly evaporated into fear as he realized what was going to happen. Backing up slightly and holding his hands and arms front of him, he tried to reason.
Eddy:"H-Hey! C-Can't we work something out or something, b-bud!?"
Smirking in victory, Jimmy just put his finger on the trigger.
Jimmy:"Work this out, pal..."
He pulled... but nothing came out. Panicking, Jimmy realized what happened. He was out of ammo. Eddy also realized this, and formed a plan. Tossing it aside, Jimmy frowned angrily and started cracking his knuckles, not seeing the smirk on Eddy's face. Reaching behind him, Eddy pulled out his Baking Powder Vapor Barrier.
Eddy:"Hey, loser! You'll never take me alive!"
(*Cue: Hidden Leaf Village Riverside Theme - Naruto Shippudden Clash of Ninja Revolution 3*)
Before Jimmy was able to react, Eddy slammed the jawbreaker look-alike to the ground, sending up a huge wave of white powder as well as a surprisingly destructive shockwave.
The entire street and surrounding buildings were caught by the blast, and Jimmy was sent flying into the wall of a nearby store that eventually collapsed from the sheer force of the house-leveling blast. Getting up slowly having not expected that, Jimmy was stunned as he saw the entire area was covered in the white powder, making it extremely difficult to make out any buildings, cars or other objects since they blended in so well.
Jimmy:"*Cough!* What the hell was that!? How did that guy do that!?"
Then another realization hit him: Eddy himself was nowhere to be found. He must have taken the opportunity to blend into the white surroundings and hide while Jimmy had been distracted by the blast and whiteness. This meant it would be impossible for him to find Eddy.
But it was easy fir Eddy to find Jimmy, as he appeared to almost magically appear from the powder-covered ground next to Jimmy and grab him. Before Jimmy could react to it, Eddy uppercut him and landed a powerful pile driver right when he landed. Forcing him off, Jimmy got up and realized that Eddy had blended back in.
He then felt Eddy drop kick his stomach and sent him flying backwards, unable to counter due to how he couldn't see him attacking. Jimmy started throwing random punches and kicks, trying desperately to at least hit Eddy in the stark white environment. It didn't work judging by how many hits he felt pummeling his body and face. Jimmy was beaten to the point that he fell to one knee from the accumulated damage. Eventually, Jimmy decided to bust out his firecrackers. Tossing one in the direction he last felt Eddy's fist, it blew up with tremendous force. Although, it didn't seem to totally clear up the area it hit of the powder, or Eddy himself.
Hearing his voice, Jimmy abruptly turned and punched the area, feeling skin against his fists.
Seeing his opportunity, Jimmy got out another firecracker and threw it in the direction of Eddy's voice.
Eddy panicked and tried to get away, but was caught in the blast and sent flying into a nearby alley, the powder finally coming off. Jimmy hurried along to follow him, having regained a chance now that his opponent was visible again. Eddy landed in a trash can, and hurriedly took it off as he saw Jimmy enter the alley, ready to end this fight. Panicking, Eddy lunged forward and tried punching him, only for Jimmy to catch his fist, reel him in, knee kick him and roundhouse kick him backwards into the wall of the alley.
Eddy:"ACK! OOW! OOF!!"
Getting up, Eddy knew he didn't have much time before Jimmy closed in. Thinking quickly, Eddy knew he had at least two aces left. Jimmy advanced forward, pulling his arm back for a hay-maker punch. Reaching back, he pulled out his weapon that he's always loved to use: The hypnotizing wheel!
Jimmy:"Alright, buddy! You've been keeping this up for far too long! It's time to show you the Bullworth Way!"
Right when he finished saying that, however, Eddy shoved the wheel into his face and spun it rapidly.
Eddy:"I don't think so! Now... surrender to my power!"
Jimmy tried to close his eyes to look away, but it was too late. He watched the wheel spin, over and over...
Jimmy:"No way! No... No w-way! N-no... no.."
Eddy:"I am your master! I AM YOUR MASTER!!"
Jimmy's unruly nature tried to hold on, but then, before he knew it, he had succumbed to the power of the wheel. In complete monotone, he began speaking slowly.
Jimmy:"Yeesss.... you are my maaaasssteeeeerrr..."
Realizing that victory was at hand, Eddy quickly pulled out his other weapon: The alien vacuum!
Eddy:"Now, give me your wallet!"
Jimmy, now under Eddy's complete control, immediately took out his wallet and handed it to Eddy. Opening its contents, Eddy was elated to find a crapload of cash in there. Grinning crazily, he smirked and looked back at Jimmy.
Eddy:"Now hold still!"
Jimmy stiffened and was completely still as Eddy started up his vacuum.
Eddy turned it on and sucked Jimmy into the container, barely fitting him in there. Putting away the wheel, Eddy took out more El Mongo Stink Bombs and snapped his fingers. This broke the trance Jimmy was in, and awoke to find himsefl trapped in the container. Panicking, he tried to force his way out and pounded his fist on the glass.
Jimmy:"HEY! WHAT THE-!? LEMME OUTTA HERE!!"
Ignoring him, Eddy tossed the stink bombs in the air. Turning on his vacuum, he also sucked them in, squeezing them in with Jimmy and almost filled up his vision. Realizing what was gonna happen, Jimmy felt Eddy take off the vacuum and placed it on the ground. He looked out to see Eddy waving his own wallet triumphantly, showing Jimmy his address, name and all of his money.
Jimmy:"NOOO!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!! PLEASE!"
Eddy:"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! TOO BAD, LOSER!!"
Suddenly, Jimmy saw the stink bombs rumbling, and saw them shaking violently. They were about to blow!
Jimmy:"NOOOOO!!! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!"
Eddy just waltzed out of the alley, stopping just at the entrance. Turning back, Eddy put a smirk on his face, victory at hand.
Eddy:"YOU'RE LOSS, CHUMP! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MESSED WITH THE BEST!!"
Eddy then turned and ran out of the alley, making that last statement the last thing Jimmy saw and heard before-
The vacuum, with Jimmy trapped within, as well as the entire alley was blown up, the dark green gas from the bombs flooding the place and sending up a dark green plume. Eddy, who barely made it out of the blast radius, stopped and turned back to look. Peering back, there was nothing left, just a dark green cloud and a putrid stench. He then saw a small object fall from the sky, having been blasted upwards by the explosion. Seeing it fall, Eddy walked over and picked it up. It was a small piece of an aquaberry vest. The scammer looked around to find the Candy Store right beside him. He walked in and looked at the wallet full of cash. He smirked.
Eddy literally buys a truck full of jawbreakers and parties in the truck with Ed and Double D, whereas Russel, Petey and the other Bullworth students are seen mourning Jimmy's death in a cemetery with his aquaberry shirt piece
This fight was close for a number of reasons. Yes, Jimmy by far took it in skill and has far more actual combat experience, but Eddy's far superior durability, less predictable arsenal, maneuverability and sheer cunning sealed the deal.
They were about even in speed, and Eddy barely takes it in physical strength, as Eddy could keep up with Jimmy's vehicles since he could keep up with Kevin's bike, and while Jimmy struggles lifting up 500 pounds, Eddy casually juggles at least 320 pounds - which, by the way, is only including the fridge and canoe, and doesn't even account for the weight of Double D, the chair, tv and other items he was seen juggling - and barely streaks by. So, since they were even there, this was more so a battle of who could break the other first. Which was Eddy for several reasons.
Jimmy's Kart and moped were great and all, but Eddy's numerous ways to actually friggin' fly by using his wallet cord or jet pack proved he easily took it in maneuverability and mobility and could probably dodge many of Jimmy's weapons. Eddy also took it in their arsenals, as even though Jimmy's guns like his bottle rocket launcher and spud gun were hard to see coming, Jimmy had no counter whatsoever to the El Mongo Stink Bomb or Hypno-Wheel. That, and Eddy has a near-unlimited supply of ammo and items for his weapons, while Jimmy has a clear limit to how much ammo he can have at once, like how he can only carry twelve rockets at a time for his bottle rocket launcher. Eddy, meanwhile, never runs out of El Mongo Stink Bombs or stunning chewing gum. Jimmy, did however, take it in skill and experience, as he was trained by a war veteran in numerous fighting techniques and has been in WAY more actual fights than Eddy. However, Eddy's two biggest trump cards were his cunning and durability.
For one, just being able to survive a fall from space without any injuries numerous times (at least twice) proves that he is easily tough enough to survive all of Jimmy's punishment. Hell, he can survive hits from Rolf and Ed. Sure, Jimmy can take a hit from Russel and Norton, who can break open iron gates and smash through stone walls respectively, bu they aren't nearly as strong as Rolf or Ed, who can uproot and lift up massive trees and pick up 160,000 ton houses without a sweat respectively! Plus, Eddy's arsenal has more actual power behind it without many drawbacks, like his house leveling Baking Powder Vapor Barrier or fence smashing Elevation Boots, whereas much of Jimmy's arsenal like his slingshot and his own stink bomb don't do much damage, or don't hurt people at all. Yes, Jimmy's firecrackers and spud gun can do a crapload of damage mid-game, but have a set ammo amount that Eddy can clearly outlast, either by dodging with his mobility or just straight tank them with his sheer durability.
However, here comes Eddy's biggest trump card: His cunning. Over the series, Eddy has shown that he is ingeniously smart, like coming up with incredibly smart scams (Ed Mart) and escape strategies (The Flying Eduardo Brothers) on the fly! As in, he came up with them in only mere seconds! Plus, even kids like Kevin, who should and does know the kind of antics the Eds do all the time, have fallen to Eddy's game at least once or twice! Jimmy has been played and tricked over and over by Gary and other stuck-up yet intelligent people just like Eddy, and since he doesn't know squat about Eddy and his cunning, there's no way he wouldn't be fooled! Especially since some of Eddy's arsenal are specifically meant to manipulate people, like his Hypno-Wheel that Jimmy has absolutely no counter for. Because of all this, it should be no doubt that Eddy would be able to trick and outsmart James into defeat. Plus, since he's so durable that any and all of Jimmy's arsenal is rendered almost completely useless since they can't kill or possibly even hurt him badly, there's no doubt whatsoever that Eddy would be able to last long enough to play Jimmy right into his hands!
- +Far smarter
- +Less predictable and counter-able arsenal
- +WAY too durable and tough to be fatally harmed
- +Weapons generally deal more damage
- +Much more maneuverable
- =Just as fast
- =Both are incredibly arrogant
- -Not as skilled
- -Far less actual combat experience
- +Much more skilled and could win in purely CQC situation, which this was not
- +Far more actual fighting experience
- +Much better training
- =Just as fast
- =Both are incredibly arrogant
- -Not nearly as smart
- -Arsenal not nearly strong enough to fatally injure him
- -Arsenal is a bit more predictable
- -Not nearly as maneuverable or mobile
- -Nowhere near as smart
- -Slightly physically weaker
Overall, while Jimmy's far superior skill, training and experience would let him hang in there, Eddy's WAAAYYY superior durability, maneuverability and less predictable and all-around more effective arsenal plus his much greater intelligence meant that he would last long enough to easily outlast Jimmy's limited ammo reserves and would be able to buy himself enough time to trick and outsmart him. Eddy's far superior durability alone would give him enough to time to scam his way to victory as Jimmy's weapons aren't nearly strong enough to hurt someone who falls from space completely uninjured!
Poor Jimmy! From the very start to the bitter end, his chances of winning seriously stink! Looks like Eddy scammed his way to victory!
The Winner is Eddy!