Eddy vs Eric Cartman is Pure King Of Rage's First Episode of Death Battle.
Overview[]
Ed Edd n Eddy vs South Park: Two Devious Short tempered greedy characters face off in this ultimate fight.
Interude[]
Scammers, some of the world's biggest criminals to ever walk the earth. So bad that if you ever come in contact with them through email, ads, and on the streets, they would trick you out of all your hard earned money.
And these two combatants fit this description. Like Eddy the junior con artist and leader of the Eds. And Eric Cartman south park's most evil child.
I'm Pure King of Rage And it's my job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle?
Eddy[]
Once upon a time in a suburban neighborhood, their lived a greedy kid who was obsessive with money and jawbreakers, and his name was Eddy.
Bio
- Age: 14
- Aliases: Professor scam
- Occupation: Scammer, student
- Leader of The Eds
Born and raised in peach creek to two parents and an abusive older brother, eddy only had two's things on his mind and that was friends and of course jawbreakers. But unfortunately he could never afford one, even through it costs $0.25 cents. So that's when eddy decided to hatch an elaborate scheme that would help him earn those sweet candy balls. After befriending a comic relief named Ed and a sock wearing genius named Double d at a young age, Eddy's schemes got put to action. He and his friend when on several different mis-advantures invoving scamming, parties, impressing girls, and even building clubhouses. As Eddy and his friends work on their lifetime goals of getting jawbreakers and becoming cool kids, he has accomplish a large amount of crazy feats.
Feats
- Build an entire city out of cardboard in one day with the help of his friends
- Survived a fall from outer space
- Beated captain melonhead and kevin
- Survive a house being dropped on top of him
- Performed a scam that destroyed half the neighborhood
- Met santa claus in person
- Subdue his Older Brother in a fight
While Eddy have pull of this crazy feats, he does have an assortment of weapons and skills:
- Jet Pack
- Stink bombs
- Toon force
- Ray of riches
- Bowling Ball Cannon
Despite all this, Eddy may be experienced scammer, but he does have his faults.
Weaknesses
- Lost to Rolf in a duel
- His scams have a history of failing quite often
- Was tricked and framed by jimmy on friendship day
- Kankers
- Afraid of shots
While at times Eddy may be clever, but his scams have an history of failing at times. He's extremely arrogant, Stubborn, and can be hot headed and impatient at times. Despite this Eddy is a formidable foe and when he's start scamming he never quits.
Eddy: Well if can beat them, show off.
Eric Cartman[]
South Park is one of the craziet tv shows to ever air on television. This show features abortions, nazi zombies, and basically any crazy thing you can think of. But south park also houses one of the meaniest kids to ever walk the planet, and his name is Eric Cartman.
Bio
- Full name: Eric theodore Cartman
- Age: 10
- Aliases: The Coon, Wizard
- Occupation: Sudent, youtuber, superhero, etc.
- Origin: South Park
Born and raised in south park colorado to single mother, the lack of fatherhood in his life made cartman such a spoil brat. He met his friends stan, kyle, and kenny at pretty young age and together they when on multiple advantures through out the show.
They helped saved south park from a godzilla like creature, encounter aliens several times, and basically any crazy thing you can think.
As the show goes on, Cartman also has assortment of weapons and skills.
Powers, Skills, and Weapons
- V-Chip
- Alien Probe
- Sumo Wrestling Skills
- Flaming Farts
- Knife
With this impressive arsenal, Cartman had accomplish a lot of crazy feats along the way.
Feats
- Manipulated cthulu into performing numerous terrorist acts against cities, individuals, and assorted groups
- Survived being struck by lighting
- Had the parents of a child murdered and fed to the said child
- Survived a giant alien probe coming out of his ass
- Survived attacks from Thugs, Aliens, Monsters, etc.
- Helped save the earth a couple of times
While all these may seem impressive, Cartman in reality is a spoiled brat. He has a very large criminal record and has only or rarely been arrested for it six times, He's did things so messed up like trying to end all jews and restart the holocaust, fed babies crack, stealing, terrorism, etc.
You might be asking this, can anything stop this demon child? Well yes he does have a lot of faults as well.
Weaknesses
- He's an asshole
- Kind of a pussy
- Has been easily beaten up by almost everyone in south park including wendy, kyle, and token
- Not much of a Fighter
- He's extremely fat
- he's extremely arrogant
While Cartman may be a fat manipulative racist sociopath, He's also experienced a lot of karama. His antics are now shown to cause more harm to himself than others, he's at times been outsmarted by not only his enemies, but his friends as well.
Despite all this Eric Cartman is a force to reckon with and the one thing to be sure is don't *beep* with Eric Cartman.
Eric Cartman: Hey don't call me fat buttfucker!
Death Battle[]
One sunny morning in south park, Eric was sitting on a bench eating cheesy poofs, when a teenage boy on a jet pack flew past him, knocking him off the bench and spilling his cheesy poofs. "Aw god damn it!" shouted Cart-man. The teenage boy was reveal to be Eddy as he landed in the middle of town. "The jet pack works great double d!" Shouted Eddy. Eddy then takes a look around at his surroundings, and sees a bunch of people giving him weird and confused looks. "Where the heck am I?" asked Eddy. "Hey!" Shouted cart-man. Eddy turns around and sees cart-man walking towards him with an angry look. "Who the *beep* do you think you are? You almost killed me and made me spill my favorite snack! You owe $2 dollars!" shouted cart-man. Eddy stares at cart-man for a minute and then laughs. "Oh man, this is one crazy day. First I’m fly into another town on a jet pack and now I'm being lecture by some fat kid!" said Eddy as he continues to laugh. "Hey don’t call me fat butt *beeper*!" shouted cart-man. "Or what? Are you going to sit on me with your fat…..Ow!" shouted Eddy as cart-man kicks him in the crotch. "Take that you son of a *beep*!" shouted cart-man. Eddy recovers and glares at cart-man. "Why you little brat! How would you like a knuckle sandwich?!" shouted Eddy as he showed cart-man his fist.
Eddy rushes towards cart-man and starts pummeling him, but cart-man kicks him in the shin, causing eddy to hop backwards. Cart-man then sumo wrestles eddy to the ground, and punches him repeatedly in the face. Eddy kicks Eric off of him and pulls out a mini stink bomb, and throws it at cart-man. "Ah gross! This smells worst then one of my farts!" shouted cart-man as he was stunned by the gas. "There’s more where that came from!" shouted eddy as he throws 10 more at Eric. Cart-man runs to dodge the stink bombs being thrown at him, and hides behind a bush. Cart-man thinks for a moment, until he remembers something. Cart-man jumps out and puts a lighter near his butt and begins to fart. "What the heck is he doing?" asked Eddy as he sees cart-man charging up a burning cloud with farts. Eddy then throws another stink bomb at cart-man, just as cart-man shoots out a flaming cloud at the stink bomb, destroying it and causing a mini explosion, that sent eddy flying against a building. “Oh my aching head." said eddy. Cart-man walks towards eddy and says into his face “Had enough yet?”. Eddy then jumps onto cart-man and beats him to a pulp and kicks him into a dumpster. Inside the dumpster, cart-man spots a old superhero poster inside, and gets an idea. “Get out here and fight me, you little twerp!” shouted Eddy. Just then cart-man jumps out wearing his coon costume. “Beware and feel the wrath of the coon!” shouted the coon. “Playing superhero huh? Well two can play at that game!” shouted Eddy as he goes behind a bush. 2 seconds later he jumps out as professor scam. The coon and professor scam rush towards each other and exchange blows, but professor scam overpowers the coon and punch him in the gut. The coon charges towards professor scam and slashes him with his claws. Professor scam recovers and fires his ray of riches towards the coon. The coon gets stunned by the blast, he then starts to curse gibberish, charging up an electric aura around him. When he was done he fires a blast of electricity towards professor scam, electrocuting him. Professor scam lies on the ground as the coon walk up to him, holding a knife. “Any last words?” asked the coon as he was preparing to finish off the scammer. Professor scam however kicks the knife out of the coon’s hand and kicks him in the gut. The coon falls to the ground in pain as professor scam grabs the knife and jams it into cartman's eye. "God *beeping* Damn it that hurt!" shouted Cartman. Eddy then pulls out the bowling ball cannon, fires a bowling ball towards cartman's head, blowing it to pieces killing him instantly and leaving him headless. K.O!
Aftermath[]
The right screen shows eddy (back in his normal clothes) flying back to peach creek on his jet pack and the left screen shows the south park kids celebrating cartman's death.
Results[]
That was Brutal!, But I like it. Anyway while Cartman may have been smarter and more clever than Eddy, But Eddy takes this due to his strength and speed.
In terms of durability while Cartman survived things like being struck by lightning, tanking hits from thugs, aliens, etc. Eddy on the other hand had survived similar things like point blank explosions, tankings hits from Ed and Rolf who are strong enough to lift houses and uproot trees, and A freaken fall from outer space with barely a scratch. So Eddy had cartman durability also.
And last but not least while cartman may have had an more versatile arsenal, he couldn't really take down Eddy with any of them since Eddy had survived far worse punishment in the past. Look like cartman going to need some aspirin, because he has one splitting headace.
The Winner is Eddy.
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
Eddy-Winner[]
- +Stronger
- +Faster
- +More durable
- +Better Toon Force
- -Not as smart
- -Not as clever
- -His Arsenal wasn't as destructive
Eric Cartman-Loser[]
- +Smarter
- +More Clever
- +More versatile arsenal
- -Not as Durable
- -Not as Strong
- -Not as Fast
- -Weaker Toon Force