Donkey VS Sid is a What-If? Death Battle featuring Donkey from Shrek and Sid from Ice Age. This page was created by Timpack and is his sixteenth written Death Battle. The next battle is Gollum VS Dobby while the previous one was Duskmon VS William Dunbar
| Donkey VS Sid | |
|---|---|
| Season | 2 |
| Season Episode | 4 |
| Air date | June 18, 2017 |
| Written by | Timpack |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Duskmon VS William Dunbar |
Next Gollum VS Dobby |
Description[]
Shrek VS Ice Age! These 2 franchises both have annoying sidekicks who constantly annoy the other characters. In this battle though, only one sidekick will leave the ring alive. Will it be the talking annoying donkey from Shrek or will it be the clumsy Sid from Ice Age?
Intro[]
Wiz: There has been no shortage of heroes throughout the ages. They come in different shapes and sizes. They might also not be who ones expect to be a hero like an ogre or Mammoth for example.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, heroes never come alone. They always have to be accompanied by annoying sidekicks that just exist to get in the way and annoy them to death. This is especially true in animated movies.
Wiz: Todays combatants are two of the most infamous animal sidekicks that Disney don’t own.
Boomstick: Donkey, The Animal Sidekick of Shrek
Wiz: and Sid, The Ground Sloth from Ice Age
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Donkey[]
Boomstick: It’s time to return to the magical kingdom of Far Far Away; a land filled with magical creatures like dragons and cats that walk around in boots for example. The most famous one of them all however is Shrek the ogre. Shrek has saved the kingdom several times, battled knights and magicians, and even traveled to an alternative reality. Shrek is….... however not todays combatant unfortunately.
Wiz: Shrek might not be involved in this death battle but his trusted steed and best friend is the one who’s going to take part instead. He is a talking donkey by the name of the unoriginal name Donkey.
Boomstick: Do we really have to analyze this one Wiz. It’s a freaking donkey voiced by Eddie Murphy out of all people. I really don’t get why Shrek and Puss just doesn’t ditch him somewhere.
Wiz: Actually, you’d be surprised Boomstick of how tough this donkey really is. He can definitely dish out a lot of punishment. While he does not have much combat experience and usually cheer Shrek on from a safe distance, he has assisted in taking down several foes. During his first adventure with Shrek, Donkey managed to knock out 2 knights. One he kicked so hard in the face with his hooves that the knight fell unconscious even with a metal helmet covering his entire face. The way he defeated the other knight is far more impressive however as he head-butted the knight so hard that the knight, despite wearing a medieval kettle hat, lost consciousness immediately upon impact.
Boomstick: That’s actually kind of impressive. I also have to admit that Donkey is pretty fast and agile as well as he has outrun knights and dragons. He even has managed to dodge arrows at a few occasions.
Wiz: This is actually not as farfetched as it sounds. Most donkeys prefer to move at slow speeds but it has been documented that several donkeys have manage reach speeds equivalent to those of horses. Some donkeys can even reach up to 43 miles per hour at top speed.
Boomstick: You learn something new every day I suppose. It definitely explains his more impressive speed feats like outrunning or dodging the Dragons fire breath several times in a row. Speaking of that dragon wife of his, Donkey already has this battle in the bag with her at his side. With one command, he could just order the dragon to turn his opponent to ash. This s going to be awesome
Wiz: Sorry to burst your bubble Boomstick but calling upon the dragon would be considered outside help. This battle would be over in a flash if Donkey was allowed to be assisted by her. Donkey is pretty tough on his own though even without Shrek, Puss, or the dragon aiding him.
Boomstick: Yeah Donkey does have a tendency of surviving falling from great heights. There was one time he fell from the sky along with Shrek and Puss after Merlin accidently teleported them several feet in the air instead of on the ground. In another timeline/reality, Donkey survived falling down a cliff and into the river below.
Wiz: Donkey also has survived a ship-crash. Other feats of his includes being able to break glass with his hooves, react and catch the Happily Ever After potion just before it hit the ground, being eaten by the dragon and spit out a moment later in the other reality, and defeating a large group of knights with…. a giant beer barrel?
Boomstick: That is defiantly one of the most awesome feats we have managed to find on this show. Doesn’t mean however that I am not still peeved about the dragon not being allowed to be in this fight.
Wiz: These feats however are not what Donkey is known best for. That would be annoying both allies and enemies in his vicinity with every word coming out of his mouth. Donkey doesn’t mean to be an annoyance but as he usually says anything that comes to mind and his inability to be quiet for more than a couple of seconds; it is no surprise that Donkey often gets into trouble.
Boomstick: Yeah he might not be as pathetic as I first though but he is still as annoying as I remember him to be. He can also be a rather big coward at times.
Wiz: Cowardliness is indeed Donkeys greatest flaw. Like we mentioned before, this talking animal does not have much combat experienced and usually has Puss or Shrek fight in his place. Donkey himself usually runs away to hide and cheer his friend on from a distance most of the time. Also, he isn’t exactly the smartest inhabitant of Far Far Away.
Boomstick: Still though it should be noted that he isn’t a complete idiot as he was able to sweat-talk the dragon on the fly long enough for Shrek to rescue him. There isn’t any doubt either that Donkey is an integral part of Shreks team of friends. He is certainly strong enough as he can pull carriages full of items behind him. He even once pulled a prison carriage with Shrek inside it along with 2 witches all on his own. That strength is certainly not what I expected this character to have when we started research this animated donkey.
Wiz: Donkey is also strong enough to force Shrek to his knees with one solid kick to his manhood.
Boomstick: Yikes! Remind me never to get on that donkey’s bad side.
Wiz: Shrek might be terrifying opponent to encounter but don’t underestimate Donkey just because he is a sidekick.
Donkey: All right nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
Sid[]
Wiz: Welcome to the Ice Age; a time where one had to work hard to survive every day. A time where only the strongest made it through the cold night. That however is not the case with the Ice Age we are about to talk about.
Boomstick: More accurately; welcome to an alternative version of the Ice Age that was far more cartoony and crazy than the real thing where a dumb squirrel caused the creation of our solar system as well as breaking Pangea into the continents we know today. Not to mention the there being a group of dinosaurs that survived the large meteor and animal pirates using a large ice block as a ship. Animated movies can be so weird sometimes.
Wiz: Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel isn’t the only one that has caused mayor problems for the inhabitants of this version of the Ice Age though. It also includes a ground sloth that is best friends with a Mammoth and saber-tooth tiger who constantly has to get him out of trouble. His name is Sid.
Boomstick: Having been constantly abandoned by his family every time during the migration season, Sid was a pretty lonely sloth since he didn’t have any friends. That all changed when he meet Manny and Diego who he preceded to go on many adventures with. Though while Mannys enormous size and strength and Diegos tracking skills and claws has saved their asses many times; Sids contribution to the trio is the exact reason his family doesn’t want him around. Bad parenting but I totally get where they are coming from.
Wiz: There is no nice way to say this but Sid is a really big klutz. His ability to create really bad situations or make a terrible situation even worse wherever he goes is kind of scary. It isent event intentional most of the time since Sid always has everyone best intention at heart.
Boomstick: Doesn’t really matter in the end since he is a freaking natural disaster in disguise. Just to name a few of his screw-up’s; he has accidentally pushed himself and Manny off a cliff when thanking him for saving him from a couple of rhinos, has unintentionally set himself on fire numerous times, caused himself and his friends to fall down from the top of a glacier when he jumped on the ice, insulted everyone he comes across almost at least once unintentionally, broken ice with just his reflection, got himself stuck on a platform about to fall down a lavafall when escaping Rudy, and then later he also accidently freed Rudy from his ensnarement of vines after everyone had worked together to trap the giant white dinosaur.
Wiz: He also almost killed an entire ecosystem of animals when he accidentally destroyed Geotopia trying to get a crystal for his girlfriend. There are far more examples of Sids hijinks but if we mentioned them all; this episode would be too far long so let’s mention the few positive things Sid usually always has in his favor.
Boomstick: For starters, his catastrophes don’t always just put himself in danger but everyone around him as well. How he survives his own messes however is probably the biggest thing this sloth has for him; his durability.
Wiz: He might not look like it but Sid has taken enormous kind of punishment whether it is from friend or foe. Manny and Diego for examples has made their annoyance with him pretty clear many times by knocking him backward or slamming him in the head to get him to be quiet. Manny once even hit him in the head with a large log as punishment. Speaking of the mammoth, Sid has gotten crushed under Mannys enormous body a couple of times who weigh about 11 ton. Any normal person would have been squished but Sid has just gotten back up on his feet a couple of seconds later as if it was nothing.
Boomstick: Other examples of this includes being belly flopped by a pirate elephant seal, being sneezed out of a T-Rexs nose after getting stuck in it, and falling down numerous cliffs unscratched. His most important though is surviving the proximity of a freaking meteorite that crash-landed right in front of him. That is actually kind of impressive I have to admit.
Wiz: He is also an excellent climber as he has shown being able to carry a human baby while climbing up a cliff for some time and dodging the teeth of a T-Rex by jumping from tree to tree. There are a couple of surfaces he cant climb though because of them being too smooth for his claws to get a good grip. Also while we are mentioning his speed, it isent actualy that impressive. He did however manage to dodge several sharp sea stars coming his way when he was tied up on Captain Gutts pirate ship.
Boomstick: The dumb sloth even knows how to create fire. Just like with the donkey, this sloth is turning out to be more capable than I first though. Doesn’t excuse his lack of intelligence in that small brain of his though. This idiot has eaten berries that paralyzes one’s body despite being warned about it, used poison ivy as tissues, and didn’t know at first that the T-Rex in front of him was the mother of the T-Rex babies he had found based on appearances alone. Sid really is that dumb and it kind of scares me.
Wiz: The sloth is also lacking in the strength department as Sid has been unable to break small twigs in two as well as having a hard time just carrying 1 stick. His only impressive strength feat comes from when he once managed to lift 3 dinosaur eggs at the same time for a short while. It greatly exhausted him however forcing him to drop them on the ground and accidentally push them all down a huge snowy hill. Even when Sid does do something right, it usually doesn’t take long for he to screw it all up with his bad luck. The same thing happened after he defeated an entire group of Dodos one time.
Boomstick: His skull is pretty thick though as when he once tried to jump into the rising water below him to save Crash and Eddie, he instead found himself colliding headfirst with a block of ice which knocked him out and caused the ice to split in two. Talk about using one’s head.
Wiz: Regardless of all this however, Sid is someone Manny, Diego, and the rest of his herd can rely on for the most part. Just don’t get him anywhere near Scrat as the squirrel has beaten Sid up on multiple occasions.
Boomstick: Really? That’s pathetic. His disaster making skills definitely however makes this sloth a terror to behold.
Sid: From now on you'll have to refer to me as "Sid; Lord of the Flame."
Manny: Hey Lord of the Flame, your tail's on fire.
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Death Battle![]
Shreks Swamp:
Shrek: GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!!
Shrek the ogre was not having a very good day at the moment. His house was about to fall apart, his children were crying, and Fiona had just been thrown several feet into the air by an elephant-looking creature. Fair to say; Shrek was not in a good mood.
That being said though; Manny the mammoth was also quite upset but for entirely different reasons.
Manny: Ellie!!! Peaches!!!! Where are you? Signal if you can hear my voice.
The mammoth didn’t know how he had gotten into a swamp of all places as he had just been walking through a blizzard along with the rest of the herd a couple of minutes ago. That question however had to wait as his family was currently nowhere within his sight.
Seeing that the giant creature in front of him was distracted, Shrek charged Manny and almost managed to cause the mammoth to lose his balance and fall to the ground. Manny regained his balance at the last second however and sent Shrek flying into the ruins of his home with his trunk.
The ogre got back up on his feet rather quickly though and gave the mammoth a rather hard stare.
Shrek: It’s time for you to leave Jumbo.
Manny: Not before I find my family so scram. I am not in the mood to deal with you right now. Go and annoy another mammoth if you really insist on proving your masculinity.
Manny did not feel very threatened by the ogre so after he had casually responded to Shreks empty words; he would have walked further into the swamp to look for his family if he hadn’t felt something grab his tail with an iron grip. The perpetrator was obvious
Shrek: This is my home. This is my Swamp and you are trespassing. You are the one who should scram big guy.
Manny tried to kick Shrek in retaliation but the ogre simply dodged and followed up by lifting the nearest rock up from the ground and throwing it then in Mannys face. This definitely got a reaction out of the mammoth.
Manny: So, you’re a tough guy eh? If you really want to get squished that much, who am I to stop you?
Shrek answered with a chuckle. It had been a long time since he had actually been in a proper brawl. He loved his family but the ogre couldn’t help but want some action sometimes. Now he could both get that and pay this big thing some payback for ruining his swamp and scaring his kids.
Shrek: We shall see. I needed some exercise either way and this is a good chance to see if I still got what it takes. Let’s rumble.
With that, the battle between the ogre and mammoth began completely unaware that Manny hadn’t been the only one that had been plucked out of their own time-period and dumped in another…….
The Ice Age:
Sid: Manny, Diego where are you? It’s your best friend in the world Sid calling.
The blizzard was still going strong but that didn’t deter Sid the sloth from trying to accomplish his mission. After Mannys disappearance, the herd had split up into pairs to look for him. Not to anyone’s surprise, Sid managed to get himself separated from his sabretooth companion after only a couple minutes of searching.
After a half hour of searching, Sid finally stopped to take a break at the top of a rather large hill. The blizzard was starting to let up a little bit and as Sid looked down the hill; the sloth noticed that there was someone at the bottom of the snowy hill he was standing on.
Sid: Hello you down there! Have you seen my friends by any chance?
As the sloth started to walk down the hill, Sid managed to slip on a patch of ice and started to roll down the hill at such speeds that he was soon transformed into a giant snowball that consumed everything in its path.
Donkey: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
At the sight of the giant snowball rolling towards him, Donkey let out a loud shriek and ran as fast as he could away from the incoming danger. Why did he always have to get in these situations when visiting Shrek? At least he was in his correct body unlike the last time he had been magically transported.
Even with his impressive speed, the snowball was still gaining on him. It finally came to a stop as Donkey jumped to the side at the last second as it went past him and crashed into a tree. As Sid got himself free of his snowy prison, Donkey finally got a good view of the one he assumed had sent the huge snowball his way.
Donkey: What’s the big idea fool? I don’t recognize you so I probably haven’t done anything to make you angry enough to turn me into roadkill. At least I hope so.
Because Sid had quite the headache after having hit the tree headfirst, he didn’t hear everything that Donkey said as he instead walked right into the tree again causing huge icicles to rain down upon the two. While they all missed Sid by a large margin, Donkey would have impaled if he hadn’t moved out of the way at the last second.
Sid: I am sorry. Let me h…..
Donkey: I knew it. You are trying to kill me. You just made an enemy of the wrong donkey whatever you are.
As he gave Sid a confident grin and got into a battle pose, Donkey was the complete opposite on the inside. He hadn’t seen a creature like this before and maybe it was extremely dangerous. Donkey so wished that Shrek or even the annoying cat was with him at the moment so they could take his place. Sid on the other hand was still completely oblivious to the fact that he was about to be thrown into a battle to the death.
FIGHT!
Sid: I think I know the reason you are upset. You must be really hungry. I think I saw someth……..
Before Sid could finish his sentence, Donkey was upon him and head-butted him so hard in the stomach that he was sent flying backwards into a tree. The impact however left both the donkey and sloth pretty disoriented and dizzy. Especially Donkey.
Donkey: Why are there suddenly 5 of you? Doesn’t really matters since I am still going to send you flying with my hooves.
The dizziness didn’t stop Donkey for long though. He charged at Sid again but this time Sid actually dodged by quickly climbing up the tree behind him causing Donkeys head to impact with the tree trunk instead.
Donkey: Now that was plain rude. Get down here and fight like a man……. I mean whatever strange species you belong too.
Sid: Sure thing but only once you get something to eat. You are really cranky.
As Donkey started to shout at him to come down, Sid did the opposite and climbed even higher up the tree he was currently hiding in. The poor fellow was probably starving. If he could only find some food so that he could solve this little misunderstanding without any problems.
Just as Sid came up with that idea, he found himself face to face with tons of berries. Unknown to Sid though, these berries were extremely poisonous. Manny and Diego had advised him not to pick these kinds of berries before but being simple-minded sloth he was; Sid still reached out to pick some completely forgetting his friend’s warnings.
Sid: This should make Mr. Cranky down below a little more happ...
A cracking sound suddenly interrupted Sids thoughts and before the Sloth could react; the branch he was standing on broke causing him and it to fall down on the ground right on top of the unsuspecting Donkey.
Donkey was having a really bad headache at the moment. Maybe he should have fled instead of starting a fight that he was currently loosing badly. The headache however was quickly forgotten once he realized something else about his opponent.
Donkey: I didn’t ever I think I would say this but you stink even worse than Shrek after he has gone to the bathroom to let out some gas. You seriously should take a bath.
As he realized this, Donkey quickly shrugged Sid off him before sending the sloth flying into the air with a well-aimed kick as far away from him as possible. That stench really almost rivaled Shrek at his worst moments.
The Sloth landed headfirst in a huge pile of snow. When Sid tried to get up though, he unfortunately found his head stuck in the snow making him look like an ostrich.
Sid: My head is stuck. Could someone come and give me a helping hand?
Even though he had been magically transported to a place he did not recognize and been attacked by a really stinky creature, Donkey could not help but laugh loud and clear at Sids situation in a cocky manner.
Donkey: That’s what you get for challenging me. I won’t give you a helping hand though; I will give you a helping kick from behind instead. Prepare for my donkey fury.
The resident of Far-Far away was unfortunately robbed of his chance to send Sid flying a second time because just as Donkey was about to approach the sloth; Sid finally got himself unstuck causing him to lose his balance and walk right into the incoming Donkey causing both to fall backwards to the “ground”.
Donkey: That was a nasty trick. You just pretended to be stuck to get me too let down my guard. Not cool at all.
Sid: Did you say something? I still have snow in my ears so I didn’t get that last part and also why does it feel like we are floating in midair.
A lightbulb suddenly went off in both Donkeys and Sids brains as they realized something. They were currently not on hard ground anymore; instead they were floating in the air just a couple of inches away from the cliff they had been fighting on for the last couple of minutes. Neither of them was very intelligent but even they understood the situation they were currently in.
Just as the combatants realized this, their bodies started to fall downwards to their certain doom.
Donkey and Sid: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Luckily for the sloth and donkey, the snow bellow them softened their fall. It didn’t prevent however Sid from landing on top of Donkey.
Donkey: Ok that’s it! No more Mr. Nice Donkey!
Sid was once again thrown off Donkey and before the sloth could get back up on his feet, Donkey kicked him in the stomach so hard that bones could be heard breaking. As the sloth fell to his knees in pain, Sid finally realized that this wasn’t a situation that he could talk his way out off.
Sid: It has been nice to meet you but I think I will be going now.
With a loud shriek, Sid took off running as fast as he could away from Donkey. Compared to Donkeys speed unfortunately, Sids was laughable at best. Donkey caught up to the fleeing sloth in just a couple of seconds and head-butted him right into the cliff wall. The donkey took charge a second time but this time Sid actually managed to dodge and get some distance between the two.
Sid: Can’t we solve this without resorting to any violence? Let’s have snowball fight instead.
Seeing as Donkey was about to charge him once again, Sid quickly took dug his claws into the snow and formed as many snowballs as he could before throwing them all in Donkeys direction. They all went flying much higher than Sid expected though and hit the cliff wall behind Donkey instead.
Donkey: Really? That was the best you could do?
Donkeys laugh was replaced with a feeling of unease as he heard a sickening cracking sound above him. When he looked up, he found himself face to face with a barrage of falling rocks. Sid had by mistake created a large rockslide which was about to crush them at any moment.
Donkey: Forget what I just said! Why Do I always have to jinx myself in these situations?
The first set of falling rocks missed as Donkey ran as fast as he could out of the danger zone by dodging to the best of his ability. Sid on the other hand wasn’t as lucky.
Sid: Wait for me! A sloth isn’t really suited for run……
What Sid said next went unheard as a huge rock landed right on top of him sending blood splattering in every direction. As more and more giant rocks landed on top of it or around it until no evidence of the sloth could be seen, there was no question about what had happened. Sid the sloth was dead.
Donkey on the other hand was outside of the danger zone watching as his foe was buried beneath several feet of rock with a perplexed expression on his face.
Donkey: What just happened? Did the idiot really take himself out by mistake? No Fair. I wanted to be the one to kick his butt.
KO!
Just as Donkey said that, someone charged at him from behind. That someone was Diego and while the saber-tooth often felt himself go crazy because of Sids constant antics; the sloth was still one of his best friends. Diego had seen the whole fight from afar and there was no way that he would allow the killer of one of his friends to escape.
Luck wasn’t on the Saber-tooths side however because just as he charged Donkey from behind; his target just vanished and was replaced by a very confused Manny who by instinct sent Diego flying with his trunk.
This was definitely a day the herd wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
Shreks Swamp:
As Donkey suddenly appeared in front of him and was knocked unconscious by the punch meant for the mammoth, a lightbulb lit up inside Shrek’s head. He only knew one person who could use magic to teleport people with these disastrous result.
With a loud roar, Shrek cursed the person responsible for this really bad day.
Shrek: MERLIN!!!!!!
Somewhere Else in Far Far Away:
Merlin: Someone must be thinking of me right now. How nice of them! Now to get back to perfecting the transportation spell I have been working on.
- Donkey lays unconscious on the ground seeing stars as Shrek starts to rebuild his house.
- Sids broken and bloody body is uncovered by the combined efforts of Manny and Diego.
Results[]
Boomstick: Can’t really say I’m surprised by this outcome. His bad luck would have been the death of him even if he hadn’t gotten involved with the Eddie Murphy donkey.
Wiz: Yeah Sid really was outclassed from the start. While both sidekicks don’t have a lot of feats and combat experience, Donkey was the far more competent fighter of the two. The few impressive strength feats he had as well having a bit more combat experience than the sloth allowed Donkey to come out victorious in this battle.
Boomstick: Don’t forget the intelligence factor since while Donkey might not be the smartest animal in all the lands; Sid makes him look like Albert Einstein in comparison. The sloth is that big of an idiot and his disaster-making skill doesn’t make things any better for him.
Wiz: Because of his bad luck and ability to create really bad situations, there were really only 2 ways this battle could have ended. Either the sloth caused his own demise by accident or Donkey managed to take his opponent out before then. Donkey’s durability feats and speed allowed him to escape the worst of Sids bad luck.
Boomstick: Speaking of speed, that was Donkeys speciality. Sid also excelled in one area which in his case was his incredible durability. But when one is fast enough to attack and get away before the opponent can counterattack, is more intelligent, and has more combat experience than you; it doesn’t really matter in the end.
Wiz: The last thing we have to address is Sids ability to make fire. This might have given him an advantage but since he has never actually used this skill in combat; it is safe to say that this wouldn’t have been enough to give Sid the win.
Boomstick: Looks like Donkey “side-kicked” Sid out of existence.
Wiz: The winner is Donkey.
