"This is the law of the jungle, as old and as true as the sky;
And the wolf that may keep it may prosper, but the wolf that may break it must die."
-Rudyard Kipling
Introduction[]
Wiz: For eons now, humanity has been at the top of the food chain.
Boomstick: But what happens when a human has a good-old down-and-dirty duel with a beast?
Wiz: Well, then, you would get Donkey Kong, protector of Kongo Jungle.
Boomstick: And Kraven the Hunter, poacher turned spider-baddie!
Wiz: I'm Wizard-
Boomstick: And I'm Boomstick-
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Donkey Kong Barrels Into DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: In a part of the planet untouched by humans, there you may find Donkey Kong Island. A place inhabited by vultures, beavers, rhinoceri, swordfish-
Boomstick: AND MONKEYS!
Wiz: Well, technically the Kong race inhabiting the island aren't monkeys but their own species-
Boomstick: Can it with the nerd talk, Wiz!
Wiz: Anyway, the leader of this primate bunch is none other than the brutish Donkey Kong. Well, technically Donkey Kong III, but that's a whole can of worms we won't open.
Boomstick: Coward.
