| Things ‘boutta get rough! | |
|---|---|
| Season | 1 |
| Season Episode | 1 |
| Air date | I don’t remember :D |
| Written by | Cheesypickles564 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous none |
Next Hades vs The Devil |
Dipper Pines vs Fone Bone is Cheesypickles564’s first Death Battle of Season One featuring Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls and Fone Bone from Bone in a battle of adventuring simps.
Interlude[]
Puppy: Paranormal things can happen anywhere and at any time.
Kitty: But sometimes you can end up in the epicenter of it! The same thing’s happened to characters like Dipper Pines, the smartass from Gravity Falls.
Puppy: And Fone Bone, the savior of the Valley.
Kitty: He’s Puppy and I’m Kitty!
Puppy: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Dipper[]
Puppy: Gravity Falls was a very strange place. There were random monsters everywhere and people were going crazy.
Kitty: And then a guy named Stanford Pines came and decided to explore these monstrosities.
Puppy: He eventually wrote journals to chart these unholy creatures. He hid one in a tree, the other one was stolen and he kept his last one.
Kitty: But then, his weird machine thingy went off and sucked him into another dimension!
Puppy: His brother, Stanley, had to take over all of this. He stole his identity and repurposed his house into “The Mystery Shack.”
Kitty: A few decades later, some snobby brats were dropped off at the Mystery Shack to spend their summer there.
Puppy: One of those “snobby brats” was Dipper Pines, a straight-a student with a knack for adventure.
Death Battle Info[]
Name: Mason “Dipper” Pines
Age: 13
Likes: Wendy, his family and adventure
Kitty: Soon, Dipper’s life was overrun with paranormal things such as cults, sentient gnomes and a psychopath rich baby-man!
Puppy: Later, Gravity Falls was just taken over by a sentient Dorito named Bill Cipher and the town turned into a wasteland.
Kitty: Dipper then teamed up with everyone else in the town who hadn’t succumbed and turned into a chair piece to defeat him!
Puppy: After Bill was slain, the town returned to normal. But let’s go over his weapons.
Arsenal[]
• Size-Altering Flashlight- Able to shrink and grow any given object
• Battle Cuffs (appeared in the video games)- “Weapons for close range combat”
• Spear- good for throwing at opponents
• Memory Gun- Erases memory of target if hit
• Golf Cart- A golf cart that’s good for taking advantage of the battle field
• Journals- 3 Journals that give tons of information about the paranormal
• Magnet Gun- Makes things magnetic and lifts them
Kitty: Dipstick’s also got some cray-cray feats!
Feats[]
• Help defeat Bill Cipher
• Defeated Rumble McSkirmish
• Fought many monsters
• Very intelligent
Puppy: Despite being decently powerful, Dipper still has some faults.
Kitty: Damn it! Why can’t anybody be perfect?
Faults[]
• Still a normal human
• Not much experience in fighting and whatnot
Fone Bone[]
(Cue: Out From Boneville - Main Titles)
Puppy: An odd creature named Phoney Bone was running for mayor, until his schemes got him and his cousins, Fone and Smiley, kicked out of Boneville.
Kitty: And then they got chased by a bunch of bugs and wound up in different areas.
Puppy: Fone Bone, the most level-headed of the group, had decided to find his way back to Boneville, but he got even more lost. There, he met many friends like Ted, the Red Dragon and his anime girlfriend, Thorn.
Kitty: They went back to Thorn’s farm and met Gran’ma Ben and then they went to Barrelhaven, a giant town where weird things happened.
Death Battle Info[]
•Name: Fone Bone
•First Appearance: Bone: Out From Boneville
•Age: Unknown
•Occupation: Traveler
•Affiliation: The Bones, Thorn, the Harvestars
•Likes: Quiche
Kitty: Then, some giant rats attacked and Fone learned his true destiny, to defeat the Lord of the Locusts and save the Valley!
Puppy: After some time, though, he reunited with his cousins, Smiley, the dumb one and Phoney, the evil one to help defeat them.
Kitty: Phoney also had some random plots up his sleeves as well! He’s my type of guy… (Does a gay stare into space)
Puppy: Ew. What the FUCK is wrong with you?!?!
Kitty: It was just a joke…
Puppy: sigh. Anyways, Apparently, Thorn, Fone Bone’s anime girl friend, was the “chosen one” and the daughter of the King and Queen. So Fone, Smiley, Phoney, Gran’ma Ben, Lucius and a whole bunch of people teamed up to help Thorn!
Abilities[]
•Strength
•Speed
•Above average durability
Weapons[]
•Book
•Map
•Sword
•Kingdok’s Club
Kitty: His book an’ map are good for whapping things, the sword is good for slashin’ things and the club is used for bonkin’ things!
Feats[]
• Survived falling off a cliff
• Ate a whole pie
• Defeated Kingdok, Briar Harvestar and the Lord of the Locusts
• Easily defeats hoards of rat creatures
• Is very elastic
• Outran a bunch of cows
Kitty: But he also has some faults.
Faults[]
•Simp
•Reluctant to Kill
•Good-Hearted
Kitty: Soon, Fone, Thorn and their whole group of lackeys bombarded Briar’s base and beat the shit outta her!
Fone Bone: “Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures!”
Pre-Fight[]
(Setting: The Mystery Shack)
Grunkle Stan: Kid, we’re going outta business. You oughta find somethin’ to help us or I’m sending you back home.
Dipper Pines was shocked at this. “How could this have gone wrong? The Mystery Shack out of business? He couldn’t allow that.
Dipper: What do you need me to do?
Stan turned towards Dipper and knelt down. He put his face next to his and started whispering.
Stan: There have been rumors of some short white fella that has been mistaken as a monster. Go check him out so we can capitalize him.
Dipper: I’ll see what I can do.
Meanwhile, Fone Bone was walking down the forest. He was lost. Far from home. Whatever fits. He needed to find some sort of shelter. He slumped against a tree with all hope lost. Suddenly, a small boy with a Pine Tree on his hat walked by with a flashlight. Fone thought that he was friendly and walked up to him.
Fone: Hey, do you know where I can find shelter?
Dipper turned around in fear and screamed.
Dipper: It’s the creature!
Fone: Wha-
Dipper proceeded to punch Fone into a tree.
Dipper: Sorry if this may seem sudden, but I need you to come with me.
Fone: Gosh, is anyone you meet friendly?
Fone gets into a fighting stance as well.
Fight![]
Dipper sprints up to Fone and attempts to punch him, but the Bone hops back and sees a pile of rocks.
Fone: Ah-ha!
Dipper tries to punch Fone again but Fone threw a rock in his eye.
Dipper: Ow!
Fone: There’s more where that came from!
Fone started chucking more rocks at Dipper. About six had hit him but Dipper managed to catch the last one.
Dipper: How about a taste of your own medicine?
He throws a rock straight at Fone’s chest, causing him to barrel backwards and tumble down the cliff.
Fone: OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH!
Dipper pulls out the grapple gun and uses it to get down the cliff safely. He then prepares to put a net around Fone but he hops up and knocks Dipper into the lake.
Dipper: OW!
He had enough. Dipper pulled out his Magnet Gun and caused a few pieces of metal to fly towards Fone. Fone ducked quick enough to let the metal hit Dipper and knock him backwards into the rocks again.
Fone: Sorry about this!
Fone hops into the air, grasping a large stick, and brings it down on Dipper, leaving a large sore on his face.
Dipper: Get back here, you little monster!
Dipper hops up and tries to attack Fone again. He pulls out the Crystal Flashlight and starts firing it at Fone. Fone swiftly dodges the blasts.
Dipper: Stand still!
Eventually, Dipper’s aim gets so bad that it hits a tree, causing it to grow so big that it falls on Fone Bone.
Fone: AAAAHHH!
Dipper then walks over to the tree to grab Fone and take him back to the shack. Suddenly, a white hand pops out of the rubble and punches Dipper.
Fone climbs out of the rubble and whips his map out of his backpack. Dipper also gets his Journal ready. Both Fone and Dipper start hitting each other with their reading material until both get tuckered out. They then start bashing each other again.
Dipper: Take this!
He hits Fone in the head and kicks him backwards.
Fone: Owwww…
Dipper then equips the Battle Cuffs and clocks Fone in the head, launching him into a tree.
Dipper: How do you like that?
Fone re-emerges from the tree with Kingdok’s Club in hand and hits Dipper in the testicles. He then bonks him in the face with the club again.
Dipper: GAH!
Dipper swings the journal at Fone but Fone dodges and swings his club at Dipper.
Fone: Batter up!
Dipper is knocked back to the Mystery Shack from Fone’s swing.
Fone: Guess that’s over.
Suddenly, a golf cart emerges from the Shack and starts rushing after Fone.
Fone: OMIGOSH!
The cart rams into Fone and Dipper takes the cart off-road. He hops onto the top of the high-speed cart and dives down to Fone and tries to shoot him with the crystal. Fone moves to dodge it and it hits the wheel of the cart, causing it to swerve uncontrollably.
Fone and Dipper: AAAAAAH!
(New location: Forest)
A massive explosion occurs, hurling Fone and Dipper into different directions. Dipper gets up first and pulls out his spear. He chucks it at Fone and it pins him to the floor by his bag strap.
Dipper: Time to bring ya back to Stan!
Dipper is about to put a net over Fone, but the Bone grabs the club and hits Dipper along the chest, knocking him into another tree.
Dipper gets back up and throws his spear at Fone again. Fone grabs it and throws it back. Dipper grabs it and throws it back. It keeps repeating until Dipper throws the spear at Fone’s club, knocking it out of his hands and sending it tumbling into the river.
Fone: Uh oh.
Dipper punches Fone with the battle cuffs and sends him flying into the river along with the club. He picks it up and climbs out, only to be hit on the head again.
Fone: Owwww…
Dipper: Take this!
Dipper jumps into the river once more and shoots the flashlight at Fone. Fone slides away and the blast bounces off of a rock. The blast then hits a plane flying in the air, causing it to shrink and be set off guard.
Dipper: Oops…
The miniature plane zooms down and hits Fone. The plane then continues it’s path forward but with a giant Bone creature holding on the back. Fone hoisted himself up and started to ride the mini-plane. He zoomed towards Dipper and slapped him in the face with the wing.
Dipper: Ow!
Fone then hops off of the plane, map in hand, and slaps the distracted Dipper’s face. Dipper retaliates and pulls the flashlight out once more and grows his hand. He then slaps Fone into a tree.
Dipper promptly walks towards Bone, only to be stopped by an invisible barrier.
Dipper: Wha-What sorcery is this?
Fone: It’s a Ghost Circle. And you’re toast.
Dipper is slowly pulled into the Ghost Circle. He simply accepts absolution, until he gets an idea. He extends his arm out and wraps his fingers around Fone’s leg.
Fone: Wha-
Dipper: You’re coming with me.
Both Dipper and Fone get pulled into the Ghost Circle.
(Location: Ghost Circle)
Dipper and Fone are transported into a desolate, barren looking place.
Dipper: Where are we?
Dipper peers over the wasteland, only to see that it is what will become of Gravity Falls in the future. Once Dipper realizes this, he comes to tears as he feels a cold pain down his spine.
Fone: It’s painful, I know.
Dipper turns around to see Fone trying to make peace.
Dipper: How do you know?
Fone: A Ghost Circle is a place between Dreaming and Nothingness. Y’know, there’s no use fighting ‘cause you’ll still die.
Dipper clutches his fist.
Dipper: But I can still find a way out! And I’ll be bringing you with me.
Fone: Wait wha-
Dipper punches Fone with his battle cuffs once more.
Fone: I tried making peace, but you left me with no choice.
Fone swiftly draws his sword and prepares to attack…
SHING!
Dipper screams in pain as his hand falls off from the slash. He uses his remaining hand to grab the Journal and hit Fone with it in the face.
Dipper: You’ll pay!
Dipper runs up to Fone once more only to have Fone ready up again…
SHING!
Dipper’s other hand falls off. He runs towards Fone in an attempt to kick him…
SHING!
Dipper’s legs proceed to fall off. Dipper’s limbless body is hurled into the air and suddenly…
SHING!
Both halves of Dipper fall to the floor as Fone puts his sword away.
Fone: I’m sorry it had to be this way…
KO!
Fone goes back to the human realm while Dipper’s body is seen barely alive. A few spirits come over to add insult to his injury. Both spirits were in the shapes of Mabel and Stan.
Stan Spirit: Y’know kid, I never really liked you. Mabel was always better.
Mabel Spirit: Yeah! And I’m going to get rid of all your things!
Dipper closes his eyes. He chants to himself.
Dipper: I know they still like me… I know they still like me…
Dipper’s fading hopes end as he passes away.
Results[]
Kitty: Sniff Sniff, oh man… If I had spirits mock me in my final hours, I’d finish the job quickly!
Puppy: This was certainly tricky. Dipper could keep Fone at bay with his more varied and destructive arsenal, but Fone eventually took the win.
Kitty: Sure, Dipper had some very impressive strength and durability feats but they were nothing compared to Fone falling off of a mountain or defeating Kingdok.
Puppy: Dipper was certainly an impressive opponent, but he was easily outmatched.
Kitty: He better Fone home and yell ‘em that Dipper was boned!
Puppy: The winner is Fone Bone.
Fone won, you surprised?
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
Fone (Winner)
+ Strength
+ Speed
+ Durability
+ Experience
- Arsenal
- Intelligence
Dipper (Loser)
+ Arsenal
+ Intelligence
- Everything else
Next Time[]
" I'm about to rearrange the cosmos..."
"Stupid cup, making me go around the back."
"And the one schlemiel who can louse it up..."
"I'm The Devil. Nobody tells me what to do."
"Is waltzing around IN THE WOODS!"
Track Cover[]
Image made by Flowerguy1
Trivia[]
- The connections between Dipper Pines and Fone Bone are that they are two miniscule people who are ridiculed for their height. Both also ended up in a place in which they had never been before with at least one family member of theirs. (Dipper with Gravity Falls and Mabel and Fone with The Valley and his Cousins) Both were (later in their series) accepted into the strange town and fell in love with a redheaded, strong girl. (Dipper with Wendy and Fone with Thorn) Both also (at the end of their series) had to team up with everyone in town to fight an extremely powerful being (Bill Cipher for Dipper and Briar Harvestar for Fone) and had to sacrifice a gruff, strong friend of theirs to win. (Dipper with Stan, even if Stan didn't die, and Fone with Lucius)
- The soundtrack would be called "Paranormal Dreams" referencing all of the strange events in Gravity Falls and the importance of dreams in Bone)