Description[]
When one finds a magical mask from an ancient tribe, nobody knows what can happen. Some try to use it to achieve their wildest dreams... And become something more than human. They are corrupted beyond return, losing whatever humanity they previously had.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Magical masks. A trope in fiction that usually brings more harm in good.
Boomstick: Many try to use magical masks to achieve great things, but end up becoming monsters instead. A prime example is Dio Brando, the bane of the Joestars.
Wiz: And the Mask, the big-head killer.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle.
Dio Brando[]
Wiz: On a cold and rainy night, the stagecoach of the Joestar family had crashed. Dario Brando, a thief, took notice of this, and decided to rob the bodies.
Boomstick: Only they weren't bodies. George Joestar and his child had survived. When George came to, he mistakenly thought that Dario was attempting to rescue them. He promised Dario that he would forever be in debt, and that he would do anything to repay the "favor".
Wiz: Decades later, Dario was dying. He sent his son, Dio to live with the Joestars in hope that he could claim the family fortune. Dario died, and Dio began to live with the Joestars.
Boomstick: When he got there, Dio immediately acted like an asshole to his adopted brother, Jonathan Joestar, or JoJo for short. He bullied him, outdid him, stole his father's love, and even killed his childhood dog. If that wasn't bad enough, he even stole the first kiss of JoJo's girlfriend.
Dio: Your first wasn't JoJo! It was me, Dio!
Wiz: Dio had sufficiently pissed JoJo off. JoJo beat Dio up, and Dio seemingly learned his lesson. As the years passed, JoJo began to forgive Dio. They became friends, and after seven years, they began to act like true brothers.
Boomstick: Turns out that this was all Dio's plan. He gained JoJo's trust so that he could begin poisoning their father to steal the family fortune.
Wiz: All this time, Dio had been eyeing a project that JoJo, an archaeologist, had been working on. It was a Stone Mask created by an ancient tribe called the Pillar Men. It had the power to give the wearer superhuman powers if it was activated with blood. When JoJo learned of Dio's plan, Dio murdered George Joestar and used his blood to activate the Stone Mask and become a vampire.
Dio: I reject my humanity, JoJo!
Boomstick: As a vampire, Dio gained many abilities, including superhuman strength, stamina, speed, and durability. He can tank bullets and be fine. He can kill a human with a flick of the wrist. He can stomp his feet into walls to walk up them. He can bend metal and crush walls with ease. He can even suck the life out of somebody with his fingers!
Wiz: He also has amazing regeneration powers. He can heal his skin faster than fire can burn it, and recover from being nothing more than a pile of flesh. He even survived as nothing but a head! He also has the power to shoot high-pressure fluids out of his eyeballs strong enough to cut through stone. He can teleport, and even control people's minds with spores. He also has the power to freeze anything he touches by cooling air around him.
Boomstick: However, Dio was still weak in his vampire form. He was eventually killed by JoJo, although they did end up killing each other. Dio needed blood to fuel himself, and would die in sunlight.
Wiz: This is why Dio came back in a new form, stronger than ever before. With a new body courtesy of his brother JoJo, Dio Brando was reborn as DIO. Yes, in all caps.
Boomstick: This time, he had a cool new ghost buddy named The World. Kind of a dumb name if you ask me.
Wiz: The World was a Stand, a type of guardian spirit with special abilities. The World gave DIO the power to stop time and travel within it, but only for five seconds.
Boomstick: Oh come on, we all know that's buullshit. That's clearly more than five seconds.
Wiz: Dio feels any damage that The World takes, but that's okay because The World is very powerful. He can take hits from Star Platinum, a Stand that can break through massive teeth made of diamond. It can also keep up with Star Platinum in a fight, and Star Platinum is capable of fighting with Silver Chariot, which can move faster than light.
Boomstick: DIO himself is no slouch either. He's capable of lifting and throwing a massive Road Roller, which can weight up to 44,000 lbs!
Wiz: Overall, DIO is the kid of vampire you don't want to mess with.
Dio: Why so tense? Are you seriously going to keep fighting? No matter how hard you struggle, human efforts has its limits. Even if you train in Ripple, it's useless! Useless useless useless useless useless! Useless useless useless useless useless! Could a monkey fight a man?
The Mask[]
Wiz: Many years ago, a tribe in Africa created a powerful mask that gave the tribal elders fantastic magical powers. A treasure hunter learned of the mask, and stole it to make lots of money.
Boomstick: Many years later, the mask ended up in an antique shop. Unaware of its magical properties, Stanley Ipkiss bought it as a gift for his girlfriend, Katherine.
Wiz: He decided to try the mask on for fun, and it took him over. He gained extraordinary abilities and set out to become a superhero like those he'd seen in comic books. He had become the Mask.
Boomstick: Unfortunately, Stanley didn't have much control over his actions as the Mask. He ended up murdering people en masse, leaving horribly mutilated corpses in his wake.
Wiz: Katherine found out about Stanley's secret identity as a serial killer. She snuck up on him when he wasn't wearing the mask and murdered him wi a gunshot to the head.
Boomstick: Wait. What the fuck? Are you telling me that the Mask died before he could even finish his first story arc?
Wiz: Well, not exactly. See, the Mask isn't really a person. It's actually the mask itself, hence the name. Anybody who wear the mask becomes the Mask, meaning that the Mask has no true identity.
Boomstick: That's definitely not how I remember the movie...
Wiz: Get used to it, because the Mask comics get pretty twisted.
Boomstick: The Mask has all sorts of unique powers, most notably Toon Force. This is a type of reality warping usually restricted to cartoon characters. It can pull weapons out of midair, survive any kind of blunt trauma with only a knob on the head, float over an edge of a cliff for a few seconds, and generally do anything you can expect a character from Loony Toons to do.
Wiz: It's survived fatal car crashes, bullet wounds, bazooka shots, and massive explosions without a scratch. Sometimes it gets a little soot on its face, but that's the extant of injury for it.
'Boomstick: It's also incredibly strong. It can casually bust through walls and doors, lift people by their hair and swing them around, break bones with ease, knock people out with simple hits, and even trample an entire mob by running through them.
Wiz: The Mask can run fast enough to leave a flaming trail in his wake, and even dodge bullets at point-blank range. This is likely just for show, though, since it can teleport around without a problem.
Boomstick: The Mask can turn balloon animals into tommy guns, turn cigarettes into bombs, and materialize crazy weapons out of thin air. It once summoned tons of animals, including horses, elephants, and a skeletal tyrannosaurus.
Wiz: It once screamed a sonic frequency loud enough to collapse a venue. It's a really weird thing with equally weird powers. However, he does have a weakness. The mask won't work durin the day, leaving the wearer as an ordinary person.
Boomstick: Trust me when I say that you do not want to be on this thing's bad side.
The Mask: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMOKIN'!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Pre-Battle[]
It was midnight in an expansive city. A tall man in yellow was walking through the empty streets. This was DIO, vampire and Stand user. Suddenly, a manhole cover blasted into the air and a yellow tornado popped out of the hole. When it stopped spinning, it was revealed to be a man with a green face and a yellow suit. This was The Mask.
Stop right there, villain! I am the Mask, and I will protect the city from monsters like you!
Heh. If you think you can stop me, you're terribly mistaken.
The two yellow-clad fighters got into a fighting stance. This would be a match to remember.
FIGHT![]
The Mask pulled a mallet out of seemingly nowhere and charged towards DIO. It swung it forward, but DIO caught the head of the hammer in his hand. The mallet quickly froze to ice and shattered.
Hahaha. You're no match for DIO!
Not a fan of hammers, huh? That can be fixed.
The Mask pulled out a long balloon and blew it up. It then fashioned it into a poodle. With the snap of its fingers, the Mask turned the balloon animal into a large tommy gun.
Eat lead!
The Mask pulled the trigger, sending hundreds of bullets flying towards DIO. The vampire walked forward nonchalantly, allowing the bullets to enter his body with no reaction. After the onslaught of bullets ended, the bullets left DIO's body and the wounds healed.
Hahaha!
DIO reached forward and grabbed the Mask by the throat. He then began to suck the life force out of the Mask, making the body thinner and paler by the moment. When DIO dropped the body, the Mask floated down like apiece of paper. When it touched the ground, the body popped back to life.
Ouchie! You're tougher than most baddies!
The Mask out his thumb in his mouth and blew it up like a balloon. It's fist grew to three times the normal size, and the Mask punched DIO with it. DIO flew backwards into the wall of a building. DIO slowly stood up, gritting his teeth.
DIO squinted his eyes and blasted out a pressurized fluid towards the Mask. The beam cut right through the Mask's neck, sending the head falling off. The Mask caught the head in one hand and tossed it back on.
It's gonna take more than that to stop me!
Don't you ever shut up? DIO muttered to himself.
Nope!
DIO had had enough. He clenched his fists and yelled out.
ZA WARUDO!
Everything became negative colors, and when it returned to normal, time had stopped. A golden-clad being now stood next to DIO. This was his Stand, the World.
DIO walked up to the Mask, who was frozen in place, and began pummeling him with the World.
MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!
As time resumed, a hole erupted in the Mask's chest. He was sent flying backwards into a wall. DIO, convinced that his enemy was dead, began walking away, but a bullet flew towards the back of his head. The World appeared behind DIO and caught the bullet in its hand. DIO turned around, and saw that the Mask was standing up, even with the hole in its chest.
ZA WA- DIO tried to stop time again, but was interrupted by a boxing glove on the end of an arrow hitting him square in the face. He looked up to see that the Mask was holding a bow. DIO ran towards the Mask and began punching in a flurry. The World beat the Mask over and over until he was dazed and couldn't move. DIO then dissapeared, and reappeared a moment later atop a road roller, falling out of the sky yelling.
RODA ROLLA DA!
The road roller came down and crushed the Mask. Then, for good measure, DIO began beating the road roller until it started falling apart.
MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!
When the road roller was nothing more than a pile of scrap, the ground was heavily cracked and damaged. Amongst the rubble lay the Mask, flat as a sheet of paper. After a bit of stretching, the Mask popped back up in a cartoonish manner, good as new.
My turn!
The Mask reached into his pocket and pulled out a road roller of his own. He slammed it down onto DIO and jumped on top. He then took a mallet and began hitting the road roller repeatedly.
IT'S USELESS! USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS!
When the Mask was done, DIO was completely crushed. Every bone in his body was broken, but he was already starting to regenerate. His arm snapped back together. Then his neck. He was soon standing again. He lifted his head, only to see a shotgun in his face. The Mask began shooting him back down over and over again until DIO was a quivering pile of flesh and buckshot. He then repeatedly stomped on it to add insult to injury.
Just as DIO began to regenerate, the sun began to rise. DIO's flesh began to sizzle and burn, and the Mask began to grip at its face. The mask fell off of the wearer's face, and DIO lunged forward, killing the man. DIO grabbed the jade mask and put it against his face in an attempt to save himself from the sun, but it was too late. DIO had died from the sun.
KO![]
The green mask sat on the street and a passerby picked it up, unknowing what powers it held inside.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Wait... Who won?
Wiz: Well, DIO easily outclassed the Mask in speed, but the Mask outclassed DIO in strength and durability. DIO was large building at best, and the Mask can survive building-destroying explosions.
Boomstick: But the Mask had no real way to kill DIO. DIO had the regenerative abilities to keep up with any damage that the Mask did. So neither had a way of killing each other.
Wiz: So it ended up being a stalemate. And with stalemates come time passing. This means that the sun would rise eventually, leading to the demise of them both.
Boomstick: In the end, neither could mask their defeat.
Wiz: This Death Battle is a draw.